Psychologists Off the Clock

Influence is power, but it’s a power not reserved just for the few. In fact, each of us has the power to impact those around us. Because of this, it’s incredibly important that we meaningfully hold and use that power for good! Dr. Zoe Chance, author of INFLUENCE IS YOUR SUPERPOWER, is a writer, teacher, researcher, and climate philanthropist obsessed with the topic of interpersonal influence. On this episode of POTC, Zoe and Yael discuss how to use your personal values to change the world for the better. Join us in this episode to learn important differences between influence and manipulation, strategies for influencing your child, practical advice for navigating negotiations with difficult people, and more!Listen and Learn: How Yael and Jill use their values to change the world for the better Zoe’s expert definition of influence  Important differences between influence and manipulation Expert-approved tips and tricks for those afraid to exert their influence What parents, CEOs, central bankers, and princess have in common The secrets to influencing your child  Why compromising can be an optimal outcome Practical advice for negotiating with even the most difficult or powerful of people  Evidence-based strategies for listening to someone you disagree with (even when the disagreement makes you want to turn inward) Zoe walks us through her Empathy Challenge Resources: Grab your copy of Zoe’s book, INFLUENCE IS YOUR SUPERPOWER! Read Adam Grant’s Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know  Learn about False Polarization Bias  Learn more about Naomi Eisenber’s research on social rejection and pain  Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!   About Zoe Chance:Dr. Zoe Chance is a writer, teacher, researcher, and climate philanthropist obsessed with the topic of interpersonal influence. She earned her doctorate from Harvard and now teaches the most popular course at Yale School of Management, which is the basis for her international bestseller, INFLUENCE IS YOUR SUPERPOWER. Her framework for behavior change is the foundation for Google’s global food policy, and before academia, she managed a $200 million segment of the Barbie brand at Mattel. Today, Zoe teaches smart, kind people to raise money for charity, get elected to political office, fund startups, start movements, save lives, find love, negotiate great deals and job offers, and even get along better with their kids. In other words, she helps people to use their superpower of influence as a force for good.Related Episodes:Episode 51. The Psychology of Political Division with Yael and DebbieEpisode 197. Influence and Adventure with Jon LevyEpisode 196. The Neuroscience of Marketing with Matt Johnson and Prince GhumanEpisode 180. Choosing to Live Your Values with Benji SchoendorffEpisode 234. The Power of Us with Dominic PackerEpisode 252. Getting the Help You Need, with Us Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It’s incredibly easy (and completely normal) to become caught in the heat of the moment and lash out when arguing with our partners. However, it’s not always the most functional behavior, and it almost never aligns with our values. Michaela Thomas, author of The Lasting Connection, is a clinical psychologist who has centered her career around helping women develop love and compassion for themselves and their partners. On this episode of POTC, Jill and Michaela discuss the key elements to building lasting connections and provide evidence-based strategies for incorporating them into your relationships. Listen in to this episode to discover the top reasons modern couples disconnect, engage in a real-time compassion-flow practice, learn strategies for identifying your relationship values, and much more today!Listen and Learn: Jill and Yael’s thoughts on incorporating ACT, CFT, Behavioral Therapy for couples The three elements that help build lasting connections Expert-approved strategies for identifying when you’re too “hot” or “cold” in your relationship (and practical advice for turning that flame up or down!) Three critical directions your compassion should be flowing in order to build a lasting, loving connection Jill and Michaela engage in a real-time exercise for allowing compassion to flow in from others Evidence-based strategies for moving from high conflict into compassion Dr. Thomas provides the top reasons modern couples disconnect  Tips and tricks for identifying your relationship values as a couple Resources: Grab your copy of Michaela’s book, The Lasting Connection! Listen to Michaela’s podcast, Pause Purpose Play. Take Michaela’s online course, The Compassionate Couple Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!   About Michaela Thomas:Michaela Thomas is a Clinical Psychologist, couples therapist and founder of the private practice The Thomas Connection. Michaela specialises in perfectionism, helping high-striving women let go of the pressure of perfection, to find the balance to burn bright, not burn out. She has authored the book The Lasting Connection - develop love and compassion for yourself and your partner. Michaela can be found on her Pause Purpose Play podcast and on Instagram under @the_thomas_connection. Her online course The Compassionate Couple has been described as 'life changing'.Related episodes: Episode 245. Family Firm with Emily Oster Episode 206. Fair Play Part 2 with Eve Rodsky Episode 168. Everyday Conversations: How Conversational Style Impacts Relationships with Deborah Tannen Episode 247. Find Your Unicorn Space with Eve Rodsky Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The pressure to be the perfect parent and create the perfect environment for your kids to grow feels pervasive for many modern parents. Because of this, many caregivers have had the thought that they are the world’s worst parent. However, that title belongs to Lenore Skenazy, president of Let Grow and founder of the Free-Range Kids movement (and book), who was once nationally dubbed "America's Worst Mom". On this episode of POTC, Yael and Lenore discuss the data behind how trusting your kids more and giving them more independence allows them to better grow into capable, confident, and happy adults. Join us in this advice-packed episode to learn about what’s actually risky for your kids, strategies for trusting your parenting skills more, methods for unhooking from perfect-parenting-pressure, and much more, today!Listen and Learn: Yael and Jill’s experiences with stigma and conforming to social norms when it comes to raising their kids Important social and personal changes for Lenore since the release of the first edition of Free-Range Kids Practical advice for the parents worried about their children’s safety in social contexts Lenore defines the “worst first thing” and provides expert advice on how to respond to that tendency Evidence-based and time-proven strategies for shifting your perspective around what’s actually risky for your kids How to begin trusting your parenting instincts and thriving in your role as a parent Expert-approved tips and tricks for incorporating more approach and less avoidance behavior in your parenting repertoire  The data that supports the free-range kids movement and having faith in your own parenting skill sets Lenore’s expert advice on unhooking from pressure around being the perfect parent and relating to your kids as people Resources: Read Lenore’s book, Free-Range Kids and check out the Free-Range Kids movement as well! Get involved in Lenore’s non-profit, Let Grow, and check out the FREE resources at the Let Grow Play Club!  Check out Jonathan Haidt’s work, The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure and The Fragile Generation Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!   For a hilarious view of free range partnering, check out this SNL clip About Lenore Skenazy:Lenore Skenazy, graduate of Yale University and Columbia University and formerly named "America's Worst Mom", is president of Let Grow, a non-profit promoting childhood independence and resilience, and founder of the Free-Range Kids movement (and book!). She is also a speaker, blogger, syndicated columnist, author, and reality show host. A former newspaper reporter, she lives in New York City with her husband. Their sons have flown the coop, which is good for “proof of concept” purposes, but she misses them. Check out her book, Free Range Kids and all the FREE resources available at letgrow.org. Related Episodes: Episode 94. Parenthood in the Age of Fear with Kim Brooks Episode 143. Happier Parenting KJ Dell’Antonia Episode 161. The Gift of Failure with Jessica Lahey Episode 194. How to Be (and raise) an Adult with Julie Lythcott-Haims Episode 205. Thrivers with Michele Borba    Episode 211. Subtract with Leidy Klotz Episode 213. Back To School! How To Talk With Kids To Build Motivation, Stress Tolerance and A Happy Home with Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson Episode 214. How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Jerks with Melinda Wenner Moyer Episode 245. Family Firm with Emily Oster Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Asking for help can put us in a vulnerable space. For some, asking for help feels like an admission of failure or weakness. However, many (including the POTC crew) would argue that asking for help demonstrates incredible strength, intelligence, and bravery. On this episode of POTC, our co-hosts, Jill, Yael, and Debbie, gather to discuss the importance of asking for help. They provide clinician-approved methods for identifying appropriate help, asking for help, and overcoming common barriers to asking for help. Listen in to this help-filled episode, today!Listen and Learn: Why our co-hosts are drawn to the topic of asking for help Barriers to asking for help when you need it most Practical strategies to reframe shame and guilt related to asking for help Specific challenges related to seeking out professional help through therapy or coaching When to seek professional help vs. emotional support from your loved ones Important differences between therapy and friendship Clinician-approved methods for finding a therapist who’s a good fit for you and your needs Cultural challenges to finding a therapist and starting treatment Expert-approved ways to build out a reciprocal “helping network” with people you feel comfortable with Resources: Read Yael and Brad Stulberg’s Washington Post piece, Therapist or coach: Understanding the difference and how to pick one Read Debbie’s Psyche article, How to ask for help   Check out Flynn and Lake’s research on asking for help Read Zoe Chance’s Influence Is Your Superpower: The Science of Winning Hearts, Sparking Change, and Making Good Things Happen   Check out Dr. Jessi Gold’s article, Your Therapist Is Not Your Friend, Take It from a Psychiatrist  Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Richard Dawkins has been quoted as saying, “The feeling of awed wonder that science can give us is one of the highest experiences of which the human psyche is capable.” Many agree with him and have referred to wonder as the beginning of wisdom, the seed of science, and the basis of men’s desire to understand. When we are little, most of us are filled with wonder and experience it often. However, we tend to lose our sense of wonder as we age into adults. On today’s episode of POTC, Dr. Frank Keil, author of Wonder, talks with Jill about why it’s so important to encourage a sense of wonder in younger generations and reconnect with our own sense of wonder as well. Join us in this episode to break cycles of over-imitation, learn about important research on wonder and well-being, engage in deeper, more interesting conversations, and so much more, today! Listen and Learn: Jill and Yael discuss the difference between wonder and curiosity Frank expertly defines wonder and provides some insight as to its history The research-backed reasons why we lose our natural sense of wonder over time Practical, evidence-based advice on fostering the continuance of wonder for your little ones Negative consequences of losing your sense of wonder The positive outcomes related to wondering with others Over-imitating - what it is, how it works, and why we continue to do it How wonder lends itself to compassion and understanding  Frank’s favorite findings from his research on wonder Expert-approved strategies on reconnecting with your sense of wonder as an adult Resources: Read Frank’s books, Developmental Psychology: The Growth of Mind and Behavior and Wonder: Childhood and the Lifelong Love of Science! Check out Chris Ferrie’s book, Quantum Physics for Babies Read Richard Dawkins’ book, Unweaving the Rainbow: Science, Delusion and the Appetite for Wonder  Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!   About Frank C. Keil is the Dilley Professor of Psychology, Linguistics, and Cognitive Science at Yale University. Much of his research involves asking how intuitive explanations and understandings emerge in development and how they function in adults. These topics are linked to broader questions of what concepts and explanations are, how they change with increasing expertise, how people understand the limits to their own knowledge and how they navigate the division of cognitive labor. Dr. Keil received a Ph.D. in Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania , a M.A. in Psychology from Stanford University, and a B.S. in Biology from MIT. He is the author of hundreds of articles and several books including Developmental Psychology: The Growth of Mind and Behavior, and most recently, Wonder: Childhood and the Lifelong Love of Science.Related Episodes: Episode 214. How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Jerks with Melinda Wenner Moyer Episode 204. Ageless with Andrew Steele   Episode 207. Burnout with Debbie and Jill Episode 125. Why We Age and the Science of Longevity with David Sinclair   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Many of us make use of control agendas and get caught up in managing our experiences to be exactly the way we want them. Sometimes this is a good, rewarding type of behavior, but more often than not, perfectionistic behavior can leave you feeling stuck in a cycle of failure. Dr. Clarissa Ong, author of The Anxious Perfectionist, is an expert in the intersection of anxiety and perfectionism. On this episode of POTC, she and Debbie discuss this intersection and explore practical strategies for overcoming problematic, perfectionistic tendencies. Join us in this episode for advice on moving from rigidity into flexibility, practical strategies for distinguishing between helpful and harmful perfectionism, and so much more!Listen and Learn: Debbie and Jill discuss the double-edged sword of perfectionism Dr. Ong’s personal experiences with perfectionism Practical strategies for distinguishing between helpful and harmful perfectionism The different forms of perfectionism and how they may present themselves The intersection between anxiety and perfectionism Contexts that can nurture or contribute to a person’s perfectionistic tendencies Evidence-based advice for parents who don’t want to water the seeds of perfectionism in their children How perfectionism can be like playing a game What you lose when you’re trapped by perfectionism Expert-approved advice on moving from rigidity into flexibility around perfectionism (and on helping your friends and loved ones do so as well!) Practical advice for incorporating a little self-kindness into behaviors governed by perfectionism Resources: Read Clarissa’s book, The Anxious Perfectionist!  Follow her on Twitter, @ongclarissaw! Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!   About Clarissa Ong:Clarissa W. Ong, PhD, is a postdoctoral associate at the Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders at Boston University. She received her doctoral degree in clinical/counseling psychology from Utah State University, and completed her clinical internship at McLean Hospital/Harvard Medical School. Her research interests include acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), process-based therapy, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), hoarding disorder, and perfectionism. She has contributed to more than sixty peer-reviewed publications and a book. She has also received funding from the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS). She and Dr. Michael Twohig recently published a self-help book on perfectionism, The Anxious Perfectionist. Related Episodes: Episode 226. ACT for Perfectionism with Jennifer Kemp Episode 88. Perfectionism with Sharon Martin Episode 172. Performing Under Pressure with Sian Beilock  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In the past decade, online dating has become a multi-billion dollar industry with three in ten adults in the United States claiming to have ever used a dating app. But despite all this dating, experiences of loneliness are on the rise, and three out of five U.S. adults report lacking companionship or feeling left out or poorly understood. Dr. Jenny Taitz, author of How to be Single and Happy, is passionate about helping others live meaningful, value-based lives, regardless of their relationship status. On this episode of POTC, she and Yael discuss the central challenges faced by unhappily single people and evidence-based methods for overcoming them. Join us today for practical advice related to dealing with big emotions in dating, creating long-lasting relationships, dating throughout the life-span, and finding happiness no matter your relationship status! Listen and learn: Katy and Yael discuss living meaningfully even when dating and relationships feel imperfect Practical advice for those who are in an unhappy partnership or those who struggle with dating and finding a partner (regardless of your age, gender, or experiences!) Dr. Taitz’s personal experience of being unhappily single and her journey to write her book Taitz’s expert opinion on if you can be single (not by choice) and happy Expert-approved strategies the unhappily single can use to thrive Three central challenges faced by the unhappily single and evidence-based practices you can use to unhook yourself from themPractical strategies for helping those who feel shame and regret about dating experiences Dr. Taitz’s words of wisdom for staying hopeful when you’ve been on the dating scene for a long time Problematic emotions that can arise with dating struggles and how to respond to them Specific, expert-approved advice for dating when you want to have a child The problem of loneliness and how to manage it Dr. Taitz’s thoughts on dating apps, meeting people, and starting conversationsPractical advice on creating long lasting relationships How to live well, regardless of your relationship status Resources: Read Dr. Jenny’s books, End Emotional Eating and How to be Single and Happy!Check out Dr. Jenny’s website, and while you’re there, take advantage of her resources! Find Jenny's New York Times pieces here, here, and hereRead Daniel Pink’s book, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward.Read Matt Haig’s book, The Midnight Library.Read Chris Wilson’s book, The Master Plan: My Journey from Life in Prison to a Life of Purpose. Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!  About Jenny Taitz: Dr. Jenny Taitz, is board certified in cognitive behavioral therapy by the American Board of Professional Psychology and a Diplomate in the Academy of Cognitive Therapy. Dr. Taitz is one of the first psychologists to merit Linehan Board Certification in DBT. She is the founder of LA CBT DBT, a discrete, boutique, private therapy practice prioritizing compassionate, effective, and time-sensitive therapy. Dr. Taitz is grateful to offer secure telehealth appointments to clients residing in New York and California. In her work, she aims to coach her clients to achieve their life goals. Dr. Taitz practices the acceptance and values-based living she teaches and recently ran the LA Marathon (postpartum!) for suicide prevention. Additionally, Dr. Taitz serves as an Assistant Clinical Professor in the Department of Psychiatry at U.C.L.A. and her writing appears in numerous prominent publications including the New York Times and Wall Street Journal. Jenny is the author of End Emotional Eating: Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills to Cope with Difficult Emotions and Deve... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's hard to talk about intimacy and sex. Cultural norms around intimacy work their way into our minds when we’re young, causing us to have rigid (and often completely incorrect, unworkable, or dysfunctional) views about how we should express ourselves sexually. Zoë Kors, author of Radical Intimacy, is a sex and intimacy coach who is passionate about opening up this conversation to help people develop healthier sexuality and intimacy. On this episode of POTC, Yael and Zoë discuss the stigma and awkwardness we often feel around discussions about sex, Zoë’s Radical Intimacy model of sexual wellbeing, strategies for getting un-hooked from ideas about how you should be when it comes to sex and intimacy, and so much more. Join them for a conversation about sex and intimacy that can help you build towards greater fulfillment in your relationships! Listen and Learn: Yael and Debbie’s thoughts on our first episode on sex (and the stigma that prevented us from doing it earlier!)Expert-advice on how to start conversations with your partner or ask for help from a therapist or intimacy coach about sexZoë’s Radical Intimacy model of sexual wellbeingPractical advice for couples with mis-matched levels of comfort in different areas of intimacyImportant differences between desire and arousalZoë busts some common myths and misconceptions about intimacyAnswers to age-old questions about the importance of sex and interest in a relationshipEvidence-based advice on rekindling your sparkStrategies for getting un-hooked from ideas about how you should be when it comes to sex and intimacyThe role of power in intimacyHow to support vulnerable partners in feeling safe during intimate momentsEnergetic intimacy - what it is and why it’s so importantWhat it’s like for Zoë’s husband to live with a sex guru! Resources: Buy your copy of Zoë’s book, Radical Intimacy: Cultivate the Deeply Connected Relationships You Desire and Deserve!Read Zoë’s viral article, 6 Ways to Have Radically Intimate Sex.Listen to Zoë’s podcast, The Radical Intimacy Podcast!Learn more about Sensate Focus Therapy.Read Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages.Esther Perel’s advice for turning a spark into a flame. Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more!  About Zoë Kors: Zoë Kors holds a BA in Art History from University of Pennsylvania. Her post graduate work includes certification as a Co-Active Coach with the prestigious Co-Active Training Institute in San Rafael, CA, as well as dozens of programs and courses in sexuality and spirituality. She is the resident sex and intimacy coach and contributor at sexual wellness app Coral. Zoë is the former Senior Editor and Creative Director of LA Yoga Magazine and is a contributor to Elephant Journal, MindBodyGreen, Avocado Green Mattress and Fabletics blogs. In addition to a thriving private practice, Zoë offers her services through Center for Relational Healing, which specializes in the treatment of sex addiction and betrayal trauma. As a member of the CRH team, Zoë works with clients to reintroduce healthy sexuality and intimacy after the trauma of betrayal. Make sure to read her book, Radical Intimacy: Cultivate the Deeply Connected Relationships You Desire and Deserve! Related Episodes: Episode 32. Social Connection: Exploring Loneliness and Building Intimacy with Debbie and Diana   Episode 61. Becoming Our Best Relationship Selves By Identifying Core Values And Schemas With Avigail LevEpisode 76. Gender and Sexual Minorities with Aisling Leonard-Curtin and Matthew SkintaEpisode 92. Marriage in Midlife: The Rough Patch with Daphne de MarneffeEpisode 179. How to Be An Adult in Relationships with Dave ... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this psychology podcast, Jill interviews Eve Rodsky about carving out creative time separate from being in the roles of parent, partner, and professional Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Physician Tammie Chang talks to us about burnout prevention and setting boundaries. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.