Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 The audio hug for parents of teens and tweens.

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?We'd all love our children to breeze through school, enjoying a satisfying academic life, having lots of friends, and coming out at the end feeling a success. But what if you have a child that doesn't thrive in an academic environment? What if they can't or won't do the work? How do you deal with it and what techniques can you use to motivate them?And our listener’s question comes from Emma: '‘My fourteen year old is very musical, but wants to stop playing the piano now she’s grade four. I’m so upset about it, because whenever she seems to be good at something she goes so far then just gives up and wants to hang out with her friends. What should I do?"TED Talks: Sir Ken Robinson Do schools kill creativity?https://www.ted.com/talks/sir_ken_robinson_do_schools_kill_creativity?language=enBooks referenced: The Self-Driven Child by William Stixrud and Ned JohnsonThe Gift of Failure by Jessica LaheyThrivers by Michele BorbaSupport the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?Our teens are growing up in a world of TikTok, You Tube and Instagram, places full of barely dressed people talking freely about body positivity and sex. It’s hardly surprising that they might have a different view of what’s acceptable from that of their parents.In the UK, sex is legal at age 16, but any sexual images of a person under 18 are deemed child pornography, even when the person sending them is the creator. Research compiled in the UK for Cultureframed.org: 1 in 7 under 18’s sends sext messages; 1 in 4 receives them. 1 in 8 who received a message has sent it to others without the sender’s consent. Internet Watch Foundation, confirmed 68k cases of self-generated imagery that needed to be removed in 2020 – up 77% on the previous year.In 80% of these cases, the victims were 11 to 13-year-old girls. Fewer than 8% of young women send nude pics because they genuinely want to.Book: When You Lose It, Roxy and Gay Longworth. Why do they sext?Seeking someone’s approvalLong distance/online relationships, where there is a desire to have a sexual relationshipFeeling confident in their looks and they want to share with other peoplePeer pressureFunAs a result of harassment, threats or blackmailWhat to do?Having regular talks about relationships, sex and consent. Use open questions, actively listen, and never be shocked. What do they post about themselves?What sites do they use and what draws them there? What types of attention are they looking for online and from whom? How do they decide what information to share? Set clear guidelines and firewalls.Boys?Adolescent boys are under enormous pressure to impress their peers.Ask boys why they would feel entitled to ask for these photos, knowing the pitfalls. Ask them what pressures they feel from their friends and porn culture. Do they know that it’s illegal to disseminate or ask for nude images of under age people?If something's happened:Speak to the school and parents of the other teenager to the get the material removed.The IWF can search for explicit images or videos of your child and remove them.Tell your girls about the #gurlsoutloud support hashtag.A free service to remove pictures of under 18’s online. https://takeitdown.ncmec.org/Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?Remember those years when your child followed you everywhere, and gazed at you with adoring eyes because you knew everything? Have they now turned into a teenager who simply grunts, or screams at you, when they occasionally emerge from their bedroom?Changes in a teenage brain help them to develop abstract thinking and self-reflection but they also make them hyper-critical and keen to develop emotional distance so they can practice life without you around. What to do: Daniel Siegel says we need to teach them to have reflective conversations:Numerous brain studies show that when we do this (either with someone else or in our own heads) it stimulates the integration of the prefrontal cortex where planning and problem solving takes place, and allows us to tune into others ie empathy. How to do it: JoAnn Deak - Girls will be girls.Don’t assume or jump in straight away.Don’t move straight to the fix-it mode.Help them to explore what they’re saying. Leave some grey areas.Discuss strategies for action. Don't overreact. Once you’re in the strategy phase that’s when your knowledge can help inform the teenager’s decisions. Don’t be afraid to provide your moral/philosophical bottom line. There are so many grey areas it can be a relief to know there are some black and white’s.Techniques: Parent Gym based on how to talk so your kids will listen.Super silence and active listening.When to do it?Try to develop regular non-crisis moments where conversations can happen. Saying goodnight, car journeys, meal-times, fixing their bike. Listen to the news together to start a discussion. Get them to entertain you. What’s the gossip? What are you reading? What have you been watching? What’s your favourite music at the moment? Take a genuine interest in their answers. Books, and materials, we've referenced: Brainstorm by Daniel SiegelHow to talk so your Kids will listen; How to listen so your kids will talk by Adele Faber and Elaine MazlishGirls will be girls: Raising Confident and Courageous Daughters by JoAnn Deak Parent Gym coaching materialsTangling with your teenagerHelen wrote 'My sixteen year old is dating and says he’s in love. What do I do if he brings her home and wants her to stay the night? Do I put them in the same room, or separate them?' ISSUES:Explore your own  feelings about it, and why? Convey them to your child. Talk to the other parents to find out how they feel about it. If they aren’t happy, talk to the son about what his alternatives Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?You only have to scan the jokes on birthday cards in the shops to see how much drinking alcohol is ingrained in our culture as both fun and an escape from drudgery.  So there's little wonder that teenagers can be eager to join the club. But when should we let them start, and how do we keep them safe?And in tangling with our teenagers Alex asks "How do I stay connected with my teenager when they argue, and don’t seem to want me anymore?" Join Susie and Rachel as we combine the advice of experts, and our own experience, to tackle these problems.Interesting articles:The effect of peer pressure on drinking in Denmark: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/16066350600691683Books: Alcohol Nation by Dr Aric SigmanLove Bombing by Oliver JamesHow to talk so your kids will listen, how to listen so your kids will talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.Definition of Binge Drinking:   The Royal College of Psychiatrists clearly defines binge drinking as drinking over 2.5 standard 175ml glasses of wine (6 units) for a fully-grown adult woman or 3.5 glasses for a man (8 units), in a short space of time. Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?Just when you thought that you’d got the hang of parenting, your child changes again... and now they're a teenager.In this episode, we have a rummage in your parenting toolbox to work out what’s in there, and how useful it actually is.And in Tangling with your Teenager, we gather all of your suggestions to answer Natalie’s question. ‘How do I get my son to do what I say, and tidy his room?’Answers range from taking the door off to pretending there are mice in the room.Do you have any tips, or any great stories that will teach us what not to do?We'd love to hear from you, including any questions you'd like answered?Email us now: teenagersuntangled@gmail.comOr find us onwww.teenagersuntangled.comhttps://instagram.com/teenagersuntangledExperts mentioned in the podcast:👉🏻Www.aricsigman.com👉🏻Jesper Juul: Your Competent ChildSupport the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk