Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 Your Weekly Hug

Ask Rachel anythingExplore Worldwide Holidays - Click here for an adventure your child will never forget: 👇🏻https://www.explore.co.uk/experiences/family-holidays?utm_source=teenagers-untangled&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=family-adventuresThe 'social contract' between families and schools has been broken during the pandemic, and ongoing absence of kids is a 'deep and concerning problem' according to Amanda Spielman, chief of the UK schools watchdog. Rates of school refusal and truanting are a huge problem in other countries too. Finding the right approach for dealing with it is crucial, because whatever the reason for missing school it takes a lot of fixing and is a symptom of something else that needs to be unpicked. RESOURCES:The printable anxiety iceberg sheet: https://phecanada.ca/sites/default/files/content/docs/teach-resiliency/Iceberg.jpgHow to make a self-soothe box:https://www.youngminds.org.uk/young-person/blog/how-to-make-a-self-soothe-box/A really good blog that works through steps you can take:https://medium.com/@ArthurCWoods/help-my-teenager-wont-return-to-school-d770203fcbacBook: The Ultimate Guide to Working with your School: The School Avoidance Masterclass for Parents,” Jane DemskyCan’t Not Won’t - Eliza Fricker, helping and understanding children who are unable to go to school.https://naomi-fisher.mykajabi.com/notfineatschoolRESEARCH AND LINKS TO HELP:www.schoolrefusal.co.ukParenting Tips 26: How to help your teen with friendship skills.Parenting Tips 19: What if you don't like your teen's friends?Parenting Tips 17: The lying teenager.Parenting Tips 16: Boy friendships.Parenting Tips 14: Anxiety.Parenting Tips 12: Bullying.Parenting Tips 10: Girls navigating friendship groups.Parenting Tips 5: The academic struggler.htExplore Worldwide Family HolidaysClick here for adventures your children will never forget. https://www.explore.co.uk/experiences/family-holidays?utm_source=teenagers-untangled&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=family-adventuresSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anythingExplore Worldwide Holidays - Click here for an adventure your child will never forget: 👇🏻https://www.explore.co.uk/experiences/family-holidays?utm_source=teenagers-untangled&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=family-adventuresWe've been asked by a listener to discuss how we talk to our boys about influential online figures like Andrew Tate, who act both as an inspiration to achieve great things, and a lightning rod for disgruntled men who blame feminism for their ills and cheer on his particular form of aggressive misogyny. If you have a son who spends time online  he's highly likely to have come across the concepts being bandied around - simply as a result of the algorithms used in social media. Whether the words red pill, matrix, and manosphere have any particular meaning for you, they are having an increasing impact on the environment our boys are growing up in. It's up to us as parents to help our boys unpack what they're hearing and sift the diamonds from the dirt. My research into the topic has highlighted an urgent need to be talking with our sons about their dreams, and how we can support them in discovering role models who show what it is to be a successful man, without needing to humiliate and destroy other people.   Top tips:Avoid silencing your teen, even if you disagree with what they say. It's vital that they are given the chance to talk about what they're thinking so that you can have proper discussions about it. Telling them they are wrong won't help them think about the issues.Focus the discussion on what is really attractive to them about the messages they are hearing, and help them to differentiate between the positive and the dangerously negative.Unpick the words the boys use and be clear about anything that is sexist, racist, etc and why that's an issue. Remember, they are building their identity and they're allowed to make mistakes along the way.  Don't shame them.Arm yourself with real facts. If they tell you something that they've heard online help them to go to real sources, rather than simplExplore Worldwide Family HolidaysClick here for adventures your children will never forget. https://www.explore.co.uk/experiences/family-holidays?utm_source=teenagers-untangled&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=family-adventuresSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anythingExplore Worldwide Holidays - Click here for an adventure your child will never forget: 👇🏻https://www.explore.co.uk/experiences/family-holidays?utm_source=teenagers-untangled&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=family-adventuresHaving kids can seem like a non-stop obstacle/crash course in how you get another living being to do things, whether for their own good or our own sanity.Some of us are lucky enough to have grown up in a family structure which helps us figure out incentives and boundaries that work. Some equate love with giving them what they want, others are so exhausted it's more a matter of giving in.It can feel like we have it figured out, then the teenage years hit and everything changes again. The trick seems to be getting the right balance between love and discipline, but how do we know what that is?It’s very easy to overreact, and when that happens our relationship with our teen can suffer. The foundation we want to build on is a strong relationship in which they feel heard and understood.So what do the experts say about it? What works, and what about the teenager who doesn't seem to care?If you want more detail about how to mend your relationship so consequences will work, then you'll find my blog really helpful. https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/blog/whats-going-on-when-our-boundaries-and-consequences-dont-seem-to-work/RESOURCES USED:https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/family/effective-vs-counterproductive-methods-of-teen-punishment/?utm_source=AdWords&utm_medium=Search_PPC_m&utm_term=PerformanceMax&utm_content=&network=x&plExplore Worldwide Family HolidaysClick here for adventures your children will never forget. https://www.explore.co.uk/experiences/family-holidays?utm_source=teenagers-untangled&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=family-adventuresSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anythingExplore Worldwide Holidays - Click here for an adventure your child will never forget: 👇🏻https://www.explore.co.uk/experiences/family-holidays?utm_source=teenagers-untangled&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=family-adventuresWe've all done it; new year, new me. By January the 11th the lustre has rubbed off our shiny resolutions and we're back to our old habits. The reality is that making resolutions and getting them to stick is harder than we'd like it to be. So how do we make changes in our parenting and our family in a way that will continue to work after the fireworks and fun?In this podcast:We talk about uncovering the intention behind the resolution. How to unpack those big problems to find a smaller goal to guide you.How to use small habits in your day to make those big changes more easy.And how using positivity can keep us going.Some ideas:Ask your teen what key change they would like to see and don't react badly to the answerFind one on one time with each childDon't text and driveCreate a tech contractCreate a chores contractYell lessListen moreSort out sleep routinesEnd your work dayFind space for youDon't judge out loudLet your teen cook once a weekDon't judge people out loudLet your teen make their mistakes so they learn from themDemonstrate the behaviour you want to seePractice gratitudeBuild a parent tribe of others who're in a similar situationMake time for your partnerGet outside moreSit down to family meals more oftenFind games or activities you can all enjoy togetherResources:Small Move Big Change by Caroline Arnold.https://beenke.com/parenting/parenting-resolutions-you-can-actually-keep/https://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/980167/new-years-resolutions-for-parents-of-teens/https://www.rootsofaction.com/resolutions-that-can-change-your-teens-life/https://hExplore Worldwide Family HolidaysClick here for adventures your children will never forget. https://www.explore.co.uk/experiences/family-holidays?utm_source=teenagers-untangled&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=family-adventuresSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anythingExplore Worldwide Holidays - Click here for an adventure your child will never forget: 👇🏻https://www.explore.co.uk/experiences/family-holidays?utm_source=teenagers-untangled&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=family-adventuresHaving your own child can feel like an overwhelming responsibility at times,but when you become a step-parent it's even more complicated. The child may feel resentful because they didn't ask for a new parent, their biological parents are likely to have issues with each other, and then there's our own needs in a new relationship. Ultimately, step-parents can offer a really wonderful addition to the lives of our bonus children. How we go about it can make all the difference.Given that both of us are step-parents, it seemed like a great topic to discuss after Kathryn reached out to us to ask if we'd help with the situation in her home.In this episode we cover the critical importance of: Bonding with the step-child. Forming a stable and united front with your new partner. Taking care not to take on the role of disciplining your bonus child but providing solid back-up for their biological parent. Making sure that your own needs are understood and met. RESOURCES:https://www.parents.com/parenting/dynamics/how-to-discipline-child-step-parent/ https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-ways-to-bond-with-your-stepchildren#1 https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/my-blended-family-wont-blend-part-ii-what-to-do-when-your-stepkids-disrespect-you/ https://www.care.com/c/bonding-with-stepchildren-7-tips-for-buildin/ https://www.moms.com/stepparents-advise-20-ways-to-bond-with-stepchildren/ https://www.parents.com/parenting/dynamics/how-to-discipline-child-Explore Worldwide Family HolidaysClick here for adventures your children will never forget. https://www.explore.co.uk/experiences/family-holidays?utm_source=teenagers-untangled&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=family-adventuresSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anythingParties can be life-enhancing, joyous, and a wonderful chance to meet new people, but when it's for a teenager it can have a touch of the wild west about it. For parents who understand the risks it can feel easier to say no, but if we think through all of the issues - and discuss them with our teens - there's far less chance things will go horribly wrong.Our website has a free checklist of things to cover when planning your party. RESOURCES USED:https://raisingchildren.net.au/teens/behaviour/peers-friends-trends/teen-partieshttps://www.whosthemummy.co.uk/teenage-house-parties-survival-tips-for-parents/Wellington College UK document 'Alcohol and Parties.'Explore Worldwide Family HolidaysClick here for adventures your children will never forget. https://www.explore.co.uk/experiences/family-holidays?utm_source=teenagers-untangled&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=family-adventuresSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anythingExplore Worldwide Holidays - Click here for an adventure your child will never forget: 👇🏻 https://www.explore.co.uk/experiences/family-holidays?utm_source=teenagers-untangled&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=family-adventuresChristmas is marketed as a time of magic and joy, but when it comes to your teenagers does it feel more like pressure - to deliver expensive gifts - and disappointment? One of our regular listeners has asked us to research and discuss  how to deal better with their lack of gratitude when things don't live up to their expectations. RESOURCES:https://ggsc.berkeley.edu/images/uploads/GGSC-JTF_White_Paper-Gratitude-FINAL.pdfhttps://www.parentingforbrain.com/how-to-deal-with-an-ungrateful-teenager/https://yourteenmag.com/family-life/communication/holiday-disappointment/amphttps://admin.bridesblush.com/trends/ungrateful-christmas-tb/https://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/being-mum-794/tweens-teens-61/1596349-ungrateful-teen-tween.htmlhttps://slate.com/human-interest/2012/12/ungrateful-teens-on-christmas-it-s-time-to-stop-the-generational-internet-shaming.htmlhttps://mamamanages.com/ungrateful-child-problem-solving/https://www.blinkist.com/en/shortcasts/the-happiness-lab/309https://www.blinkist.com/en/app/books/leading-with-gratitude-enExplore Worldwide Family HolidaysClick here for adventures your children will never forget. https://www.explore.co.uk/experiences/family-holidays?utm_source=teenagers-untangled&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=family-adventuresSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anythingExplore Worldwide Holidays - Click here for an adventure your child will never forget: 👇🏻 https://www.explore.co.uk/experiences/family-holidays?utm_source=teenagers-untangled&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=family-adventuresOur teens have been dubbed Generation Isolation by the UK charity OnSide. It follows a poll which showed that 77% of young people spend most of their free time at home and 73%  spend most of their free time on screens.The charity says that while online communication is important and has some benefits, its dominance means young people are missing out on the face-to-face interactions that build social skills, confidence, self-esteem, resilience and empathy.   Whilst it's normal for teens to spend a lot of time alone in their rooms there seems to have been a general change in the amount of physical time that teens are spending socialising. We'll talk another time about parties, and managing them, but this time we discuss those all-important social skills and what we, as parents, can do to hep our teens develop them.RESOURCES:https://parents.au.reachout.com/skills-to-build/wellbeing/things-to-try-friendshipshttps://news.virginia.edu/content/peers-or-parents-study-shows-strong-friendships-set-teens-success-later-lifeBOOKS:How to Win Friends and Influence People for Girls, by Donna Dale Carnegie.How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age, Dale Carnegie Training.The Social Survival Guide for Teens on the Autism Spectrum: How to Make Friends and Navigate Your Emotions by Lindsey SterlingExplore Worldwide Family HolidaysClick here for adventures your children will never forget. https://www.explore.co.uk/experiences/family-holidays?utm_source=teenagers-untangled&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=family-adventuresSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anythingExplore Worldwide Holidays - Click here for an adventure your child will never forget: 👇🏻https://www.explore.co.uk/experiences/family-holidays?utm_source=teenagers-untangled&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=family-adventures'Today's teenagers are far more hopeless than anything humanity has ever produced before,' according to Jeremy Clarkson, former presenter of Top Gear. He's talking about generation Z, which is the label for those born between 1997 and 2012 and the first to grow up entirely connected to the internet. His claim is that 'the offensive word today's entitled teens have never heard is 'no'. ' There are many articles about entitled teens, yet there are statistics that show they drink less, have fewer teenage pregnancies, and are more concerned about job prospects than previous generations. So what is an entitled teen, is it all bad, and how do we make sure that we're not raising one?RESOURCES: https://www.forbes.com/sites/charlestowersclark/2022/06/27/generation-y-and-zempowered-or-entitled/?sh=6d552cf67715https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/jeremy-clarkson-the-offensive-word-todays-entitled-teens-have-never-heard-no-j95kzjxhwhttps://spsp.org/news-center/character-context-blog/entitled-people-what-expect-and-how-deal-them#:~:text=The%20sources%20of%20entitlement%20are,feel%20that%20they%20are%20special.https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0140197110000783https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/personality-disorders/the-psychology-behind-sense-of-entitlement/https://www.today.com/parents/avoid-raising-entitled-child-5-strategies-really-work-t44576 Amy McCready positiveparentingsolutionsExplore Worldwide Family HolidaysClick here for adventures your children will never forget. https://www.explore.co.uk/experiences/family-holidays?utm_source=teenagers-untangled&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=family-adventuresSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Ask Rachel anythingExplore Worldwide Holidays - Click here for an adventure your child will never forget: 👇🏻https://www.explore.co.uk/experiences/family-holidays?utm_source=teenagers-untangled&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=family-adventuresWe've all heard about the phenomenon of a midlife crisis, but it's the teenage years when we first really become aware of our identity. For some, the sense of who we are beneath the roles we play is never a big issue. For others, the shift in perception can result in all sorts of problems. Battles at home if they're boxed into an identity they feel they don't fit, or difficulties at school where trying to fit into a social group can mean losing track of who they really are. Helping our teens to navigate the issue can be made harder by our own struggles with the concept of identity and fears of losing the child we love. We try to unpack some of the issues. For supporting material see Rachel's blog on our website:https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/blog/flirting-with-your-self/Also, any teacher of junior school kids will tell you that one of the key ways they distinguish each other's clothing is by the smell. Yes, it really is a thing. When they hit the teen years, sniffing a garment can result in an unpleasant shock. Some teens respond to their new, distinct odours, by washing diligently. Others seem oblivious, joyously marinading in their own unique perfume. We talk about the issue of smelly teens, and how to deal with a girl who rarely showers.  RESOURCES:Identityhttps://www.choosingtherapy.com/identity-crisis/https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/who-am-i-identity-crisis.htmhttps://aspiroadventure.com/blog/why-is-teen-identity-development-important/#:~:text=Identity%20formation%20in%20teens%20is,most%20of%20their%20adult%20life.The 8 stages of development Eric Ericson: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYCBdZLCDBQ&t=28sSmelly teenshttps://www.verywellhealth.com/why-teens-wont-take-a-shower-4089615#:~:text=Poor%20hygiene%20can%20lead%2Explore Worldwide Family HolidaysClick here for adventures your children will never forget. https://www.explore.co.uk/experiences/family-holidays?utm_source=teenagers-untangled&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=family-adventuresSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk