The Simple Sophisticate - Intelligent Living Paired with Signature Style

"I see inspiration everywhere - from the fashion flitting past as I am crossing 7th Avenue to the overgrown flowers exploding from the window boxes of the brownstones of the West Village to the monkeys blinking back at my son and me as we wander through the tropical zone of The Central Park Zoo. It is all waiting to be painted. I often feel giddy, dizzy, overwhelmed by all that there is to paint." —Inslee Fariss In February 2011 I first came across the watercolor fashion illustrations by Inslee. At the time, my blog was just over a year old, and I was looking for a way to put my signature on the heading. With four images including one of Sarah Jessica Parker in a favorite final scene of SATC, one of Ines de la Fressange and yet another one of Henry Bendel's illustrations of stylish women, I reached out to Inslee who was in Washington D.C. at the time. In a matter of two weeks, after a couple of emails back and forth and one phone call, the first TSLL woman was complete, and I was over the moon (see the woman below in the white dress with red clutch (center)). Since our first collaboration, Inslee's painting career has blossomed, and she has been living and working in New York City with a studio in the West Village. Painting for Rachel Zoe, working with Elizabeth Arden and many other well known names, she also works on private commissions, some for businesses like TSLL and many for personal stationery, imagery, etc. As you will hear in our conversation in today's episode of the podcast, she shares her journey to finding what working environment works best for her to create regularly, how and when she knew she had a gift, as well as how one of her figure drawings (nude silhouettes) ended up being purchased by the now Duchess of Sussex (Meghan Markle). ~Inslee's illustration purchased by Meghan Markle as discussed on today's episode~ Her observations about enjoying the everyday, what it feels like being a mother to her 17-month-old boy Jackson and where she finds inspiration for her annual calendar are also topics that she talks about. Since 2011, I feel extremely fortunate to have received 15 exclusive, commissioned illustrations for the blog (12 of which appear in TSLL's 1st book, one which was created for my teaching blog and the final two which appear on TSLL's new book - Living The Simply Luxurious Life and the blog's header). All of the illustrations are below. As we discuss in today's episode, one of her amazing talents is to create what her customers are envisioning in their minds. She brings to the canvas her knowledge of fashion and style, the human body, as well as the observations of everyday life that we may dismiss or take for granted, but when appreciated can enliven the quotidian moments more than we might have imagined. Be sure to stop by Inslee's website, shop her recent launch of the 2019 desktop and wall calendars (Book Worm & Botanical) as well as her newly launched 2019 Planners complete with exclusive illustrations and beautiful leather binders from Neely & Chloe (the steel blue one has my eye, but there are more beautiful colors available). You can also shop prints of her illustrations and contact her for a commission project. As was mentioned in the episode, her Instagram (especially her Stories) will brighten your day. (follow @inslee). Lastly, I want to extend my deep appreciation to Inslee for being a guest on The Simple Sophisticate. Until our next collaboration together! ~2019 Book Worm desk top (March)~ ~2019 Wall and desktop Botanical calendar, September~ ~2019 Desktop and Wall Calendars, May~ ~Steel Blue Planner and binder~ ~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #233 ~Subscribe to The Simple Sophisticate: iTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio | YouTube | Spotify ~View all episodes of THE SIMPLE SOPHISTICATE SIMILAR EPISODES YOU MIGHT ENJOY: #219, How to Cultivate Surroundings For Everyday Contentment #227, 16 Ideas for Simple Everyday Self-Care #194, The Road to Success is Paved with Happiness Sponsors for today's episode: Holly & Tanager, The Professional: Backpack Purse (check out the video below) Visit hollyandtanager.com/SIMPLESave 15% off your first order with promo code SIMPLE at checkout Blinkist visit blinkist.com/SS promo code SS – to start your free 7-day trial Neat www.neat.com/SIMPLE

"Becoming Parisian is possible, but remaining Parisian is an art." —Nathalie Peigney, author of Sophie the Parisian: Style Tips from a True Parisian Woman To spend time in Paris is to spend time in a city with a feminine energy. Simply the proper article spoken when saying the city of Paris is la ville de Paris which is feminine. But what exactly does that mean? And we should ask, does it mean anything at all? Perhaps it simply gives us permission to embrace and explore our emotions whatever they may be, to consciously take pleasure in the beauty that surrounds us either natural or architectural, but regardless of masculine or femininity, Paris is a city to embrace but at the same time let go of must-dos, have-tos and instead enjoy what surrounds you from the energy of the people, the energy of the history that engulfs you ever so, but consistently so ubiquitously and to savor the baguette in the morning by tearing off the end and enjoying it on the way back to your apartment, lingering for a long lunch and dawdling along the cobbled streets as you explore a new-to-you arrondissement. In today's episode, a new book that was recently released, Sophie the Parisian: Style Tips from a True Parisian Woman offers detailed insight into ways to infuse your own life, no matter where you may live, but especially if you visit and most definitely if you move to Paris, with daily habits and rituals that will enliven the everyday moments and bring a little Parisian charm to your way of living. 1.Invest in your personality, knowledge and understanding of the world. True fulfillment does not reside if paying attention to and perfecting one's appearance. Rather, investing in developing our inner beauty is key. In stage of life, knowledge of the world and one self cultivates charm, intrigue and true beauty. 2. Enjoy Apero Time (Aperitif) 3. Have a love affair with a quality handbag. Be practical in your selection, but don't be afraid to invest 4. Wear a leather ballet flat 5. Choose quality essential items for your wardrobe. Have few, but purchase investments that will last. Investing does not mean you have pay full price. Set alerts for sales on the designer labels you love, shop consignment, even visit second-hand shops that sell quality, well-made items. From trenches, to ballet flats, to blazers, cashmere sweaters, and a classic marinière striped shirt. 6. Hop on a bike. 7. Choose black. It goes with everything. 8. Then, choose navy. 9. Find a favorite cafe and frequent it regularly for an escape from the day and to watch the world pass by. 10. Remember to end your meals with cheese 11. Only artisanal made croissants s'il vous plait. ~a croissant from Foxtail Bakeshop~ 12. Adhere to good health practices: Eat well, mainly colorful food, abstain from processed foods like white flour and sugar and exercise regularly. 13. Dress with simple sophistication ~Check out TSLL's Signature Style posts 14. Don't follow trends, cultivate your own style 15. Thoughtfully select flowers that you love for your home. White flowers have been shared by florists to be the top color choice in Paris. 16. Use fewer, yet better and seasonal ingredients to enable the ingredients to sing. ~Check out The Simply Luxurious Kitchen - Seasonal Fare to Elevate the Everyday Meal 17. Skillfully blend classic and contemporary interior design. And be sure to infuse a bit of yourself into the furniture and decor choices as well. ~episode #228, 21 Parisian Decor Ideas from Ines de la Fressange's new book 18. Speak your mind. Have an opinion. 19. Buy beautiful, lace lingerie for you, as well as classic lingerie. ~episode #42, Why Not . . . Create a Capsule Lingerie Wardrobe? 20. Simple make-up, but yes, make-up to enhance your natural beauty 21. Wear high quality marinière tops from Petit Bateau, Saint James, Lux Amour. 22. Visit the farmers market on the weekend (or during the week when the schedule allows), to eat well and rejuvenate your diet ~How to Make the Most of Your Visit to the Farmer's Market 23. Visit the great exhibits of the moment. Become a connessoir of your city's history, art and talents. 24. Master the classic favorite moules marinières (et frites!) 25. Classic, natural, simple, manicured nails 26. Add some red to your life - a red lip, a red blouse, a red pencil skirt, something red. 27. Make time to watch the sun set. 28. Have a simple, classic vinagriette recipe memorized ~Check out Shannon's vinagriette recipe in the first episode of The Simply Luxurious Kitchen ~Order TSLL's new book Living The Simply Luxurious Life: Making Your Everydays Extraordinary and Discovering Your Best Self Petit Plaisir ~Nigel Slater's Orzo with Zucchini and Parmesan Sponsors for today's episode: Holly and Tanager, The Professional: Backpack Purse Visit hollyandtanager.com/SIMPLE Save 15% off your first order with promo code SIMPLE at checkout

"Just by being a strong and kind, ambitious and likeable, empathetic and decisive, confident and flexible woman, you can help turn around the double standards we all face and permanently change the way women at work are perceived." —Fran Hauser, author of The Myth of the Nice Girl: Achieving a Career You Love Without Becoming a Person You Hate Authenticity is crucial for success, but for some reason, those of us who embody a propensity to be nice (both women and yes, men too) have often been made to believe that nice won't help us reach the success in our careers that could be possible. Especially with the double standards often placed upon women who do dare to step out of the nice box, society would like us to think that being nice won't work, but actually, being gruff (if that is not our natural nature) won't either. So what is the best approach for building a career you love? Be yourself. Be that nice individual you have always been, but let go of the fickleness, let go of the passive-aggressiveness and become more confident in what you know to be true about your strengths, set clear boundaries, all the while building positive relationships with others, and remembering the research done by FastCompany in 2015, that a positive work environment leads to greater productivity, lower turnover, and even better health outcomes for workers. A win-win. After reading Fran Hauser's new book, I wanted to share 13 takeaways that spoke to me and caught my eye due to emails and comments I have received from readers. While I have boiled them down to their nuts and bolts, if this topic is speaking to you, be sure to take at the book as she offers a multitude of specific examples from her own career and others as well as step by step, specific pointers and tips for navigating remaining nice as well as strong. 1.Understand the difference between Nice and being a People Pleaser "Nice is: Positive, yet honest and straightforward; People Pleaser is: Sweeping things under the rug to avoid making waves." 2. Remember to be strong as well as nice Hauser argues that indeed we can be both, even though the myth is perpetuated that we cannot. How? Hauser suggests speak up, and be humble, be a team player, but still look out for your best interests, and accommodate, but communicate clearly and be assertive. 3. Understand there are enough opportunities for everyone and refrain from competing with others, especially other women. A necessary shift from generations past is moving beyond women competing with other women as though there was only one that could make it to the top. Historically, due to gender biases and stereotypes, this was sadly accepted and perpetuated, but times have and are continuing to change. Women can be collaborative, generous and in so doing, lift everyone who is contributing great work. When we realize opportunities are in abundance when we shift the work culture and mentality, productivity rises, as does the peace of mind in the work place. How? By having confidence that we have something of value to offer and we can benefit from the talents of others. 4. Claim your niceness and use it intentionally As an authentically nice person, to go against your nature will not only gradually deplete you, but it will also feel unnatural. When we choose to use our niceness intentionally, it can appear in how we build relationships with those we work with, and as a result, clients and colleagues show more loyalty as they appreciate the sincere connection and recognition of them individually. 5. You may have to clarify that your niceness is not to misunderstood for ignornace, lack or knowledge, in other words as a weakness Hauser shares some helpful statements to respond to those who may doubt that being nice is indeed a preferred way to work, but once you make your stance clear, you will have to explain this truth far less often. 6. Be humble, but don't put yourself down Returning to the topic of being nice versus being a people pleaser, when we are humble and don't take ourselves too seriously, we come across as more relatable. This doesn't mean we should diminish our successes or strengths. In other words, never talk about yourself in a way that degrades your competence or paints a negative picture. When you begin to do this, you create potential doubt in clients, colleagues and higher ups who oversee your job. 7. Speak with confidence Refrain from prefaces what you are about to share by casting doubt on what hasn't even been spoken. Instead choose your words carefully. Hauser gives the example of stating we need to speak declaratively rather than interrogatively. In other words, observe how you end your sentences in which you are stating a fact. Do you still end it with a questioning tone? This projects lack of confidence. Instead, state it with confidence what you have found to work, to be true or an idea you would like to share. Give credit to those who deserve it if you came to the idea with the help of others, and if necessary, state your reasons for why you feel your idea would be helpful to more than just yourself. When you frame what you say constructively, speak with confidence and refrain from prefacing with doubtful statements such as "I believe" or "I could be wrong", you are already on your way to gaining the trust from your peers and supervisors. 8. Apply critical thinking skills to tactful disagreement If you disagree with someone's initial statement, instead of stating this opinion forthwith, ask questions, seek outside perspectives and dive deeper into the subject at hand before jumping to conclusions. When we do all of these things, we step away from any initial emotional reaction and give ourselves time to thoughtfully respond and perhaps gain some more understanding and respect due to our process along the way. 9. Set emotional boundaries to weed out the bullies and build stronger relationships "Often, we 'nice girls' carry around a tiny seed of doubt that a conflict is somehow our fault. When a bully spots that doubt, he or she will be very likely to prey on it." When I read this section of the book, I took a big sigh. For some reason, even after many years as an adult, and even in my youth, this was a tremendous aha for me. This particular section is helpful for navigating situations in which a colleague bullies intentionally or unintentionally, but isn't clear about the boundaries, and how to effectively deal with either situation. From the get-go it begins with setting clear emotional boundaries. Begin by seeking out allies you trust, then remember to not be sucked into the drama created by the bully. As well, confront the behavior head on after you have taken a deep breath, but don't wait too long. Sometimes this is an opportunity to strengthen a relationship based on a misunderstanding, and in other scenarios, it clearly states to the bully, you may be nice, but you are not weak and will not tolerate such behavior. Lastly, document the facts of each incident should you need to talk to a supervisor. 10. Negotiate Effectively, by Playing to Your Strengths When you marry reason and emotion, studies have shown that you are more likely to be successful, as a woman, receiving the wage, the contract, the [fill in the blank item you are seeking]. When it comes to reason, understand your value. In other words, what skills, expertise, etc. do you bring to the table, and how valuable is your time. Also, do your homework, and have the data ready to demonstrate what you want those you are speaking to to recognize. As well understand all of the options for improving your success (not only salary, but stock options, bonuses, schedule, vacation time, other bonuses such as memberships to gyms, etc. and maybe even four day weeks during the slow time of the year). On the emotional side, being nice has its benefits, and this is one. Most likely you are observant of others and what makes them happy, what makes them upset, the best times during the day to talk to them, etc. I can remember a principal I used to work for, and early on in my career, the vice principal always advised to speak with him in the afternoon as he was not a morning person. This was helpful and it made me realize, that we are all human, and if we want the best outcome, it would be best to talk with the individual or individuals at the time of day they are more inclined to be awake and open-minded. At the core is to have confidence in ourselves, to know we are worthy of asking for fair and equal pay, and to not feel bad for asking for what we know we are worth. 11. Create filters at work Protect your time. Once you know what your priorities are at work, where you are most needed and valued, and where you can contribute the most, delegate the rest or filter it out completely. 12. Devise a schedule that elevates your productivity Part of being both nice and productive is setting clear boundaries around when you will do certain tasks and communicating this effectively to others. Perhaps it is when you will check your email during the day (this is you communicating to yourself as much as it is others), or maybe it is when you will be scheduling meetings and for how long. Be clear about what is necessary to be productive and then communicate your availablity. 13. Become comfortable with saying no to respect your productivity and schedule Hauser calls it the skill of the "kind No". And again, this is playing to the strengths of someone who is nice, but it is also exhibiting the strength that is necessary to be clear about what you can and cannot do. People will inevitably ask, and that is okay. But what needs to become okay with you is saying no. So long as you do so thoughtfully, and honestly (this doesn't mean you have to share in detail why you cannot say yes), you have been respectful and they can now seek out someone else to help them. Petit Plaisir ~Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat - Netflix ~Cook and food writer, Samin Nosrat (check out her website) ~Inspired by her book of the same name Salt Fat, Acid, Heat: Mastering the Elements of Good Cooking (2017) https://youtu.be/2oKbs4jAf7M Sponsors for today's episode: Neat www.neat.com/SIMPLE Le Mystere the first 50 Simple Sophisticate listeners will receive a free Le Mystere makeup bag Holly and Tanager, The Professional: Backpack Purse Visit hollyandtanager.com/SIMPLE Save 15% off your first order with promo code SIMPLE at checkout Hello Fresh Visit hellofresh.com/sophisticate60use promo code sophisticate60 to save $60

Faith Salie's recent commentary on Breaking News and its meandering into becoming of lesser and lesser importance for the viewers to be interrupted sparked my attention when Salie offered a simple suggestion: more depth, less drama. As soon as she said it, my ears and mind perked up. What a simple approach to living well. An approach to welcome more substance, less stress, more enjoyment, less unnecessary conflict and more tranquility and less anxiety. Could it really be that simple? Let's start with the drama we unnecessarily welcome into our lives and what we might potential replace it with to improve the quality of our everydays: 1. Viewing Entertainment Less . . . drama on the television shows, reality programming or films that further perpetuate stereotypes, harm, violence or simplification and/or misguided problem resolution. More . . . depth offered in exploratory programming, documentaries, well-written, thought-provoking plots that include well-developed characters and unique storylines. Reality programming that exhibits teachable skills and positive relationship styles. ~This & That: October 19, 2018 - Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat 2. Conversations Less . . . dramatic conversations such as superficial, assumptive and unfounded chitchat such as gossip, judging, and labeling simply for the sake of having any conversation. More . . . depth of thought that elevates the conversation, observes possibilities and suggests solutions to frustrations. 3. Daily Routine Less . . . drama provoked by stretching ourselves too thin when it comes to our schedule, our budget, our emotional well-being. More . . . depth of reasoning behind the decisions we make that become the framework of our lives - our routines, our relationships, our monetary expenses and investments. ~18 Ways to Simplify Daily & Weekly Routines ~Archived TSLL posts on Relationships ~Archived TSLL posts on Money ~Today's image is a glimpse of one of my favorite weekly routines as shared on Instagram - Sunday morning. 4. Self-Awareness Less . . . drama caused by poor engagement with others and letting our worries spill into other areas of our lives. More . . . depth of awareness to recognize when we need a "timeout" to recharge, rest, recalibrate and decide how we will positively address any situations in our lives that are causing us stress so that it doesn't bleed into other areas of our life unconsciously. (check out episode #227 for ideas on Self-Care) 5. Understanding Priorities Less . . . drama provoked by unsolicited responses and commentary on every little event that occurs at work or in your life. More . . . depth of recognition when it comes to your priorities as you identify which events/conversations requires your engagement and your finite energy. Contribute to conversations that are of importance and you feel you have something unique and positive to offer, otherwise let those who do feel invested in the conversation work through the matter at hand without you. ~Responding vs. Reacting: The Difference, episode #145 6. Friendships & Relationships Less . . . dramatic friends or individuals in your life that thrive off of stress, exhaustion, games or manipulation. More . . . depth of character and integrity in the individuals you choose to spend time with. Sincerity, a healthy sense of self and kind offering of one's time and energy. 7. Mastering of One's Mind Less . . . drama stirred up in your own mind needlessly due to the inability to master your thoughts, note them and move forward without being hampered by their attempt at distraction or self-doubt. More . . . depth of self-awareness and recognition of what is going well, an understanding of how you function at your best and how to cultivate a life that helps your best self come to fruition. (check out TSLL's 2nd book which is primarily focused on helping readers attain their best self: Living The Simply Luxurious Life: Making Your Everydays Extraordinary and Discovering Your Best Self) 8. Boundaries Less . . . drama from lack of self-respect which is communicated nonverbally as well as verbally when we don't understand our self-worth (Discover 10 Ways to Strengthen Your Self-Worth). More . . . depth of clarity by clearly communicating your boundaries through words and actions. We end up teaching others how we expect to be treated, what we will tolerate and what will never be acceptable not with our words alone, but also how we allow others to speak and treat us. The gift we give ourselves by being aware of how boundaries can be conveyed is that often we avoid drama all together by exemplifing ourselves as a person of self-respect. ~A Powerful Couple: Vulnerability & Boundaries, episode #126 The beauty in choosing a life of depth over drama is that we won't even fully be aware of the drama we have avoided by living a life of depth because we no longer entertain it as an option. And that is what gives us more energy, more time and more space to spend our lives doing what we love, investing in what we care about and building relationships that we want to welcome and strengthen in our lives. Petit Plaisir ~Destination Wedding ~read the interview with the writer and director Victor Levin (writer for Mad About You, 5 to 7) which appeared in The Washington Post https://youtu.be/TjXQzRWmb_I Sponsors for today's episode: Blinkist visit blinkist.com/SS promo code SS - to start your free 7-day trial HelloFreshVisit - https://www.hellofresh.com/sophisticate60 Use promo code sophisticate60 to save $60 Le Mysterethe first 50 Simple Sophisticate listeners will receive a free Le Mystere makeup bag use promo code SIMPLE Holly & Tanager, The Professional: Backpack Purse (check out the video below) Visit hollyandtanager.com/SIMPLESave 15% off your first order with promo code SIMPLE at checkout https://youtu.be/L04WUfRlANo ~Image: One of my favorite weekly routines is captured - Sunday morning breakfast and reading material (via IG)

Autumn brings many revelations and rewards. From the harvest of bountiful fruits and vegetables that have been waiting for months to reach their peak of flavor to the brilliant turning of colors seen in the leaves and needles from deciduous and the rare deciduous conifer trees (American Larch or Tamarack). Autumn also reveals how well taken care of, how attentive we have been, to said crops and woods to enable them to reach this seasonal stage of harvest naturally and offer their full expression. As it pertains to each of us, we too are on a journey of self-discovery if we choose to be. I was recently listening to Ina Garten in a conversation she had with Katie Couric about her career with food, and at one point, she offers the advice of looking to our youth, perhaps as young as our early childhood to be reminded of what fascinated us. For her, it was cooking and baking, something she enjoyed as a young child, but not something encouraged in her family. This something for Ina wasn't heeded until she was 30, at which point she opened her speciality grocery Barefoot Contessa, and then at thet age of 50 wrote her first cookbook. As I have shared in the past, timing plays a role in our lives, and so too does the tenacity to remain curious about discovering our deepest and most sincere truths. Truths such as why you enjoy the company you enjoy versus the company that never quite leaves you inspired or perhaps worse. Truths such as what sparks your laughter, deepens your joy and elevates your motivation to try something new. The editor of the Pulitzer Prize winning journalistic endeavor that broke the Watergate investigation in 1973, Ben Bradlee is well known for a simple phrase, "The truth emerges". And while yes, he is speaking more specifically about investigative reporting, I have experienced it to be true in the journey of life as well. If we examine the significant decisions that have led us to where we are today, at the time, we may not have known with deep, insightful clarity why we were drawn to a particular college, a particular person, a certain hobby or destination on the globe, but if we take the time to thoughtfully examine in hindsight, the powerful ahas as to why may become more crystalized. I began to do this for myself regarding why I prefer to live on my own, and have my entire adult-life after undergrad. It has taken me nearly 20 years to understand this truth for myself. That's the key - for ourselves. We cannot take someone else's truth and apply it to our lives. In a way that is plagiarizing, and no one can ever truly be appreciative of a life that is not sincerely constructed. Yes, we can absolutely gain inspiration from others' lives, but then we must apply that inspiration to the individual that we are. The truth I came to see with unwavering clarity was that as a young girl, being busy was valued, and being still not so much. Only with a few select people was enjoying my own company allowed (being able to be silent while together with another is truly one of the most comforting aspects of a partnership or friendship for me). And even fewer still accepted not only my being with my own company, but truly being who I am. Which is why I have curated a life where I can be exactly who I am when I am at home and let my creativity dance as it wishes. The truth, in this lesson, truly has been liberating. So how can each of us encourage the truth to come forth? Live consciously. Living consciously doesn't mean you have to examine every little detail of your life to death, but it does ask of you one of the fundamental premises of living simply luxuriously - make sure you aren't being led around by the nose. What draws you to the decisions you are making? Is it you intrinsically, or is it external influence? Ask yourself, what brings you peace? What brings you joy? As well, what brings you pleasure? There are many factors in life that we can neither control or influence, but we can learn to recognize more confidently opportunity and information that will help us live our lives more authentically. But we can only do this if we are paying attention, listening and letting go of expectations. The truth of who we are and who we will become is forever emerging as we are dynamic individuals full of more potential than our limited perspectives can imagine at this moment. But so long as we are striving forward, so long as we remain curious, new aha moments will cross our paths as more truth is given. So why not keep exploring, keep applying what you learn and with each piece of information you gather, your world becomes more enriching, more enjoyable and more inspired as others observe you growing and thus blossoming. SIMILAR POSTS YOU MIGHT ENJOY: ~Why Not . . . Be Exactly Who You Are? ~The "How" of Tailored Simplicity ~3 Simple Steps to Designing Your Best Life Petit Plaisir ~In Paris: 20 Women on Life in the CIty of Light by Jeanne Damas and Lauren Bastide ~similar books - How to Be Parisian Wherever You Are (the podcast episode inspired by the book - 10 Ways to Unearth Your Inner Francophile, episode #4 ~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #229 ~Subscribe to The Simple Sophisticate: iTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio | YouTube | Spotify | Podbean Sponsors of the episode: Neat www.neat.com/SIMPLE Le Mystere the first 50 Simple Sophisticate listeners will receive a free Le Mystere makeup bag use promo code SIMPLE HelloFresh promo code: sophisticate30

Home sweet Parisian home, whether you live in Paris or not. Ines de la Fressange is stepping into the sanctuary with her new book Maison: Parisian Chic at Home (see my profile posts of her previous style books here, here and here), and along with her co-author Marin Montagut, they are both taking readers inside their own homes in Paris as well as inside 13 other Parisian apartments (the founder of Sézane, the duo behind the French decor and candle company Astier de Villatte, just to name a few). With the opportunity to review a copy prior to its release just this past Tuesday, my decor curiosities are deeply inspired as while there are many reoccurring themes that must be Parisian go-to decor ideas, there was much reaffirming of the ideas I saw this past summer both in Paris, but also throughout the countryside. Many of which are simple and inexpensive ways to add your signature style to your sanctuary whether you rent or own. I have created a list of 21 decor ideas found throughout the book, and if more than just a couple of these ideas speak to you, I highly recommend picking it up as the photography by Claire Cocano is intimate and brilliant, and the insights from the homes' inhabitants are insightful and offer even more creative ideas. Most importantly, and this was something I spoke with a handful of people while I was in France, the goal with Parisian and even French decor, is not about achieving perfection. Rather it is about creating a sense of bienevue (welcome) to whomever enters, a sense of ease and the ability to live and live well amongst the four walls (and perhaps a terrasse). From the details of essentials in the kitchen, to the touch of the outdoors with ubiquitous bud vases, simple, thoughtful decor takes time and is unique to each individual who lives in a space. 1.Welcome a variety of textiles Velvet, linen, hemp, damask silks are recommended by Ines de la Fressange for use on cushions, mattress toppers and other details about the home. 2. Add the light of candles Recently a reader asked about my favorite candles, and I am happy to share. I couldn't agree more with this decor suggestion as while having flattering and welcoming light from lamps is a wonderful idea, the natural movement of a flame is a lovely complement. Below is a list of my favorite candles: Bastide candles (as introduced by Sharon Santoni in one of her My Stylish French Boxes) Astier de Villatte (many scents) - in fact, the creators of these candles have their homes featured in this book. Hypsoé (currently loving and also from Sharon Santoni's My Stylish French Boxes) Rosy Rings (many scents) Nest (various sizes) Diptyque (lavender, santal (sandalwood) are my favorite) Carrière Frères (curious to try the Pear, Sandalwood, and Rosemary) - shop here for United States shoppers Trudon candles - for a luxurious gift (Ines de la Fressange recommends as well) 3. Use your "Sunday-best" tableware every day of the week Whether the handmade ceramics you love or the treasures you found at a brocante while traveling or a secondhand shop by perusing, use them and enjoy how the presentation when you sit down to dine elevates the flavor (it really can!). 4. Collect old, slender glass bottles for single cut flowers I am gradually adding to my collection and loving what I am finding. And even better, it saves money as you don't have to buy a full bouquet. 5. Use straw or raffia baskets (French market totes) in various sizes for storage In the book, you'll see a picture of Ines' home closet in which she has multiple baskets storing socks (large), make-up and accessories (small). 6. Collect tools of your creative craft Painter and co-author of Maison: Parisian Chic at Home, Montagut, collects painter palettes and arranges them into a collection or scene in his living space. Often found at garage sales for pennies, they would certainly provide much conversation and color in a home. 7. Keep your eyes open for details to add to your home Perhaps it is an old farm door to add to your kitchen épicerie or tiles for a backdrop, you never know when a unique and signature find will be discovered. 8. Create a backdrop for everyday life As shared about Ivan Pericoli and Benoît Astier de Villatte's apartment - their decor approach, is to welcome antiques (they need not always be expensive, perhaps more readily found in Europe, but such can be the case here in the states - secondhand shops often have many gems) and create a reading nook, a welcoming kitchenette, use beautiful ceramic dishes for everyday uses such as displaying fresh fruit, etc. to elevate the everyday experience. 9. Choose vintage lighting fixtures I tend to always look up and around when I enter a space and upon seeing signature lighting fixtures cannot help but smile. It is the attention to such details that reveals something lovely about the inhabitant that tended to the decor. 10. Collect and pair or group demijohns I saw many demijohns during my trip this past summer, and three of them were beautiful arranged in Sharon Santoni's cottage in which I stayed. Often they are sold with their wicker cover, but after removing the wicker, the green brilliance (there are many sizes and clear glass as well) adds a touch of life and elegance, as well as simplicity to a room. 11. Welcome handmade or handcrafted items into your home, especially your kitchen While functional, these items are often quite beautiful and can be easily displayed for eyecatching decor. 12. A wall with many mirrors for multiple perspectives Multiple homes featured in the book had a wall or a portion of a wall full of many different sizes of mirrors - one in a bathroom and the other in a living room. 13. Glazed terra-cotta jugs and carafes Multiple purposes can be found in Provençal finds such as glazed terra-cotta jugs and carafes for wine, water and olive oil as they make a lovely presentation on the table as well. ~Olive & Branch Profile post 14. White walls, colorful decor Morgane Sézalory, the founder of Sézane (France's leading online clothing company - see my most recent post on their fall collection) swears by a white palette (walls, ceiling, etc.) and lets the rest of her decor be thoughtfully colorful. 15. Collect vintage tableware and display it, don't hide it. If you have plates, a tea/coffee set or anything made of ceramic or porcelain that you love, why not put it on display? Use it, of course as well, but when not in use, allow it serve as your decor as well. 16. Old wooden cutting boards are both functional and beautiful to display in groupings Wooden cutting boards seem to be just about everywhere online - Food52, Esty, etc., and if you are looking for trays or additional surfaces to cut upon as well as serve food, this idea is a wonderful way to create a decorative touch as well as function on-demand. 17. Paint doors or window frames black and juxtaposed with green foliage Depending upon the exterior or interior wall color, one apartment featured in the book had a beautiful black door with brilliant green wisteria draped about it during the summer months. The contrast was impressive. 18. Multiple bud vases filled with seasonal foliage or blooms Sharon Santoni demonstrated this idea beautifully in her guest cottage this summer, and it immediately captured my attention. I love the uniformity of having the same varietal, but each having their own vase. 19. One long, open shelf in the kitchen for everyday essentials Depending upon the layout of your kitchen, and if you do not have cupboard space, adding a single, long, shelf above your cooking space with beautiful brackets to hold it place is a simple way to add decor and function. 20. Select beautiful, simple glass storage containers for your food, and don't hesitate to use them as decor. As I shared this past January, German Weck glass jars in oodles of sizes and shapes were my winter investment as I organized my kitchen cupboards; however, any glass container with a lid can enable you to store beautiful your food. Keep your eyes open and mix and match. 21. Add a globe According to the book, globes are making a comeback in the world of decor - small or large, with ornate stands or simple, artistic bases, if the addition of a globe speaks to you, now is definitely the time to start hunting for one. Whether you are a Francophile or a lover of signature style in your home, as you can see, it is the individual's tastes that will make the home beautiful. Having grown up with a mother who would take me to garage sales, and on other treasure hunts for the home, I thoroughly enjoy the details that I have welcomed into my sanctuaries over the years. Along with travel, when we have patience with the process and refrain from buying the same thing everyone else is buying from a big brand store, we share a piece of ourselves with not only our guests who cross the threshold into our homes, but we remind ourselves on a daily basis what inspires us and thus keep our creative side perpetually piqued and comforted as well. To pick up your own copy of Ines de la Fressange's new book, Maison: Parisian Chic at Home, click here. ~View all of TSLL's French-Inspired podcast episodes here. ~Tune in to TSLL's new vodcast - The Simply Luxurious Kitchen ~Learn more about TSLL's Weekly Newsletter Petit Plaisir ~TSLL's French Cafe Jazz Playlist (no lyrics) ~The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 1 (Season 2 is coming soon!) Trailer of Season 1 https://youtu.be/fOmwkTrW4OQ Trailer of Season 2 https://youtu.be/483SfI1rpJ8 ~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #228 ~Subscribe to The Simple Sophisticate: iTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio | YouTube | Spotify Sponsor of Today's Episode Le Mystere the first 50 Simple Sophisticate listeners will receive a free Le Mystere makeup bag- use promo code SIMPLE

"Cozy living is about creating an atmosphere of warmth, contentment, and pleasure within your home and in your life. It is increasing your awareness of and focusing on embracing the simple, everyday moments to rise above problems, release stress, enjoy friends and family, and to appreciate all you experience." —Melissa Alvarez, author of The Simplicity of Cozy: Hygge, Lagom & the Energy of Everyday Pleasures Over the weekend, I took a day to spend time doing simple activities I don't always have time to immerse myself in as the school year is in full swing. I took a day to exercise the important habit of being present, taking in the beauty of what was surrounding me and let myself feel what I felt. For many people, the past week was a week of external events affecting our emotions in ways we may not have expected and thus were not prepared for. Add on top of that a busy week of regular to-dos, meetings, responsibilities, etc., and it may have become overwhelming. During such weeks whenever they arise, but also when weeks are going well, tending to our self-care is essential. A few years ago on the podcast (episode #122) self-compassion was discussed as well as the seven benefits of choosing not to be our harshest critic, but rather being more gentle with ourselves as we do our best each day, which can be different depending upon the day. Part of having self-compassion is taking good care of ourselves, being aware of our emotional tendencies, being tough and persevering when necessary, but also respecting that with more self-care, the persevering becomes easier. In other words, simply pushing through without the self-care makes it all the more difficult and the quality of what we produce is often severely diminished. While I referenced this week as an example for making the effort to practice self-care, the practice itself is most effective when used preventively. In other words, by instituing regularly routines, rituals and choices into our everyday lives that elevate the quality, we are practicing self-care and thus elevating what we can endure and how well we work through any day that comes our way. Today I'd like to share with you 16 ways to welcome self-care into your everyday way of living. Some are as simple as what types of ingredients you use in your kitchen to cook your meals, while others pertain to your relationships, and even others your sanctuary and daily routine. Let's get started! 1.Buy Quality Butter - look for a high butter-fat count. Often these brands will be from Europe - Plugra, Kerrygold and many French butters. Spend a little more and improve the simple experience with everything you enjoy butter. 2. Make a delicious fall dessert (see today's Petit Plaisir for an idea that will melt in your mouth and is simple as apple pie.) 3. Let yourself wake up without an alarm clock. 4. Take a hot shower and just let the hot water run down your body - stand still, close your eyes and enjoy. 5. Spend time in a bookstore or library. 6. Visit a winery or go wine tasting and enjoy sipping while gazing out upon the fall foliage. 7. Hire someone to clean your house, even if just once is all you can afford. Relish walking through the door and seeing an immaculately clean house asking nothing of you but to sit, relax and enjoy your space. 8. Purchase a luxurious candle, pick up a bouquet of fresh flowers, choose a movie you are curious to watch, either pick up your favorite take out or cook a wonderful comfort meal, and enjoy a truly luxurious solitary evening. 9. Sit outside at dawn or dusk or the middle of the day and just listen and watch the world, Mother Nature, the moment. 10. Cuddle with someone you love. 11. Bring a small bud or bouquet of flowers into your bedroom. 12. Slip into linen sheets spritz with lavender linen spray and dive into a delicious book. 13. Pick up a book that celebrates the seasons. I highly recommend Sharon Santoni's My French Country Home: Entertaining Through the Seasons 14. Plan a weekend away, even if just a town away where you can spoil yourself with mini adventures and dining adventures you have been eager to try. 15. Eat a chocolate truffle at the end of the day and sip a lovely cup of tea. 16. Soak in a hot bubble bath with your favorite tunes, candles lit and finish a good book. (I recently did exactly this and finished a delightful book on living in Paris.) The gift of self-care is not only what it brings to us and enriches in our daily experience, but how it improves our daily interactions and relationships with others. We begin to become more aware of our own feelings and needs as we listen more closely, and as it is a muscle, we can be better to observe when others are in need of a breather, a rest or a boost as well. When we invest in ourselves before the attention is needed, we avoid scenarios and situations we do not want to go through without realizing they may have occurred had we not been dutifully tending to ourselves on a regular basis. Today examine when and what you'd like to do to welcome a few self-care practices into your daily and weekly routine. Enjoy planning and looking forward and when in the moment of these self-care practices, simply savor and soak in the needed nourishment. ~SIMILAR POSTS FROM THE ARCHIVES YOU MIGHT ENJOY: ~Why Not . . . Revel in Simple Pleasures? (two part series) ~The Hygge Phenomenon and Living Simply Luxuriously, episode #148 ~What Does a Simply Luxurious Life Look and Feel Like? ~What are people saying about TSLL's new venture into vodcasting? The Simply Luxurious Kitchen is an 8 episode video series where readers/listeners can now view Shannon cooking in her own kitchen sharing simple tips and ideas to elevate the everyday meal. Be sure to check out the most recent episode (episode #4) and enjoy the remaining 4 episodes each Saturday here on the blog until the end of October. I am loving your cooking demonstrations @thesimplyluxuriouslifeit's real life cooking like home cooks do, and with your stories added in its extra fun to watch---and learn! -from IG follower, viewer and TSLL reader @lynnbhoffman Good Morning Shannon, great content as always. I was making my Sunday breakfast with you. Delicious food and most wonderful company. Thank you so much 😊. -from viewer and TSLL reader Beata What a joy to watch! You made this meal seem completely doable for me! Thank you for all the hard work. I'm looking forward to more of these videos. You are an inspiration! -from YouTube viewer and TSLL reader Julie Petit Plaisir: ~Apple Tarte Tatin ~View the detailed recipe here. ~listen to my interview with Sharon Santoni as she talks about her latest book My French Country Home: Entertaining Through the Seasons from which this recipe was inspired. ~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #227 ~Subscribe to The Simple Sophisticate: iTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio | YouTube | Spotify Sponsors of Today's Episode Follain try their Clean Essentials Kit for only $22 (50% off the retail price) use promo code SIMPLE for free shipping Le Mystere the first 50 Simple Sophisticate listeners will receive a free Le Mystere makeup bag use promo code SIMPLE Blinkist visit – blinkist.com/ss promo code – SS RX Bar Enjoy 25% off your first order with promo code SOPHISTICATE

~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #226 ~Subscribe to The Simple Sophisticate: iTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio | YouTube | Spotify Imagine you are walking upon a balance beam in a gymnastics center. Imagine your core is tight, your shoulders are back, your chin is parallel with the beam and your legs are engaged. And your eyes are focused not down, but at your desired destination - the end of the beam. In this moment, you are engaging your full body and mind. You are breathing deeply and steadily. You are keeping your heartbeat calm and external noise and distraction is being ignored. With each step, it is thoughtful, it is with intention and your posture reveals confidence, yet ease. In good time, you reach the end of the beam without any significant wobbling. I share this image with you because the key to control is to let go of trying to control it all. More precisely, the key to control is to recognize the only detail you can control is yourself, and everything outside of your being needs to be relinquished. The weather, the words and behavior of others, the outcome of a vote, whether someone - a boss, a potential friend, a date - will choose to return our call or offer us a job - is beyond your control. So often we expend an enormous amount of time, worry and energy on trying to control others and outside circumstances that we no longer have energy to tend to what would make the most significiant difference - our emotional being, our mental muscles, etc. One of the few sports that is purely within the hands of the athlete as even the weather is not a factor is gymnastics. There are others such as swimming and figure skating, but today I'd like to use gymnastics because we're talking about balance without any accoutrements. It is purely the body and the mind working together. Knowing what is in our control is important to navigating daily events that we cannot predict. How much you express appreciation verses complaining and worrying Knowing your emotions and why you feel them - check out Dr. Gloria Wilcox's Feelings Wheel to narrow in on the specific emotion. (I talk more about how to use this wheel in the audio version of this episode). Come to be aware of what triggers positive and negative responses. (Again, use the Feelings Wheel to understand why.) Recognizing when you want to react and knowing when it would be best to instead not respond when requires of you to take some distance, collect your thoughts and then engage if it is necessary. Understand what drains you Understand what refuels you How you manage your time How you take care of your health - food, exercise, and mind 9 Ways to Organize Your Kitchen, Improve Your Health & Help Out the Planet Why Not . . . Feed Your Body Well? 10 Simple Ways to Live Healthier What you choose to learn and seek out per your curiosity Decide to show up in a way that you feel proud of Invest time into developing skills that will improve the quality of your life you wish to strength - relationships, communication, a technical skill, a social skill, a new craft that engages your interest Solidify a way to move healthily through tense moments - do you forgive or do you harbor anger, do you move forward or do you remain in the past and stew? When we understand that we cannot hold on tightly, but instead need to exude clearly our boundaries, but also the peace we have with ourselves, we free ourselves from worrying about being hurt by a partner, mistreated by a boss, or ignored by a child. There is no guarantee that we won't be hurt, that people won't disappoint us, but what it does do is put the ownness on each of us to front-load. What I mean by front-loading is we need to step into any relationship, situation, community, etc. without assumption of how others will behave. Instead we need to step forward with a clear understanding of how we will handle ourselves, how we will invest in building relationships, how we will invest in strengthening our mind so that when our thoughts are swirling, we can recognize this and understand we were triggered and now is not the time to speak, or conversely, I am prepared, I am calm and I am ready to speak with clarity and confidence knowing that not everyone will agree, but I shared what you feel needed to be known (just as an example). Losing our balance will occur even to those of us who invest in controlling what we can and letting go of what we cannot. In those moments, we need to not blame the circumstances so much as our ability to be ready to handle it. For example, if we have said "yes" to too many events this week, and the seventh of seven outings during the week finds us short-tempered, exhausted and/or hyper-critical of others, if we are in tune with our emotions, if we know the difference between being well-cared for (self-care), we need not blame anyone outside of ourselves. This is just life's way of reminding us that we need to be conscious of our needs, understand the importance of saying no out of not only self-preservation, but self-care so that when we are involved, we can do so well and add a positive contribution. And when we model this, we help those that look to us care for what they have control over as well and not project their frustrations and exhaustion onto others. When we burden others with the responsibilty of making us happy, we are being unfair to them. But on the flip-side when we take responsibilty for developing the skills we can finesse so that we can enjoy our days and thus our lives no matter what is going on around us, we strength and put at ease those in our lives and model how to weather difficult patches as well as savor the goodness that life wants to share with us each and every day. SIMILAR POSTS/EPISODES YOU MIGHT ENJOY: 10 Simple Things We Unnecessarily Complicate, episode #210 Why Not . . . Let Go? 27 Things to Bid Adieu Let Go and Elevate Your Life Letting Go & Hanging On: What Falls Where?, episode #41 ~Learn more about TSLL's weekly newsletter here ~Tune in and view TSLL's new venture into vodcasting!!! The first two episodes of The Simply Luxurious Kitchen are available for viewing. Have a look here. Petit Plaisir: ~My Morning Routine: How Successful People Start Every Day Inspired by Benjamin Spall and Michael Xander SPONSORS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: RX Bar Enjoy 25% off your first order with promo code SOPHISTICATE Download the Episode

"Times of transition are strenuous but I love them. They are an opportunity to purge, rethink priorities, and be intentional about new habits. We can make our new normal any way we want." —Kristin Armstrong, three-time Olympic gold medalist - road cycling As September arrives I find myself torn between the schedule I love during the summer months and the rigorous schedule I know that awaits me with school's commencement. It doesn't mean I don't enjoy what the new school year brings - new students, new connections, an energy of excitement and curiosity that is a large part of why I love teaching, but when any transition knocks on our door, if we are happy with where we are, it is hard to welcome it in. No matter what amazing opportunities it may be bringing as a hostess gift. In such a scenario where there is the gift of what we have loved and the potential for something awesome to be revealed as we go through the transition that is letting us know, that just the way it is, if we shift our perspective to one of gratitude, the moving through and forward becomes easier. How fortunate are any one of us to not remain stagnant? Think for a moment about a stagnant individual. They may feel safe, they may feel certain, but such certainty is false. After all, as children the reason it is imperative that we learn how to communicate, how to care for our bodies and feed our minds is to initially survive, but then to thrive and enrich our lives. This momentum, this way of life is a good way to live our entire lives. Why? Because the world never stops shifting, progressing and offering opportunities to improve. Never. It can be tempting as adults when we think we have figured it all out to slow down, and even stop and just be. This is not to say we shouldn't relax from time to time, find a healthier balance, etc., but so long as a new generation is graduating, growing up and trying to find their place in the world, there will always be new ideas, and often, so long as we remain nimble, we can benefit from them as well, and even partake in the sharing of knowledge. Part of a civilized society is knowing how to move and work together with a diverse breadth of people, and along the way enabling all to find their way without taking away the basic rights of any human being who is living consciously and respectfully of others. With all of this said, transitions can be scary or exciting, exhilarating and even full of learning opportunities. It is simply a manner of how we view them. Today I'd like to share with you eight ways to step into and through any transition that you may be confronted with at the moment, and even go so far as to embrace it. Grasp the reason for the difficulty Psychologist Shannon Kolakowaki points out that a significant reason for the difficulty of any transition in which are lives are changing as we once knew them is because our identity, how we may have defined ourselves or were seen by others, is changing. Recognize the power you are giving the transition to affect your emotions Psychology Today reminds that there isn't a predefined type of transition that is harder than another. We give a transition the power of either being difficult or easy to maneuver through. In other words, our minds play a crucial role in how we approach the changes we are going through. If we choose to see the transition as an opportunity or a goal we have worked long and hard for, such change would be reason to become excited; however, if it is a change that is thrust upon us, we can drag our feet and make it even more difficult by fighting what is inevitable. Honor the transition Any life transition, whether it is relocating to a new city, moving through a divorce or going through menopause benefits being recognized for playing a role in our life journey. As Sonia Choquette shared in our conversation about her own divorce after more than 20 years, she wasn't angry at her ex, but rather appreciative for the love and time that was shared, but also observant that it was time to move forward. One of the hardest transitions in nearly everyone's life has been found to be the relocation from a home we have felt safe in or found great peace. During such times of transition, pay homage in your own unique way in order to provide closure, but also to celebrate the time you spent and the memories that will forever be with you. Become a great student of the transition that awaits When you know a transition is in your future, perhaps transitioning from college to a career or from a career to retirement, become a student of the transition you will inevitably go through. By learning all that you can, you maximize the experience, enabling it be as positive as possible. Reflect and remind Everyone goes through some type of transition throughout their lives, and often many. If we take a moment, we probably have moved through some transitions quite effortlessly because we didn't think twice or try to fight it. But on the flip-side, there were inevitably transitions we can remember vividly - during adolescence, making career changes, making relationship changes, making lifestyle changes. As you go through the transition you are in at the moment or will be in due time, reflect on those transitions that went well for you. And even regarding those that were hard, assess why they were hard and how you can change what was in your control to improve the next transition in your life. Celebrate the opportunity for a rebirth of sorts Whether the transition is something you want or something you'd prefer not to have to go through, shift your perspective. Something as common as getting older, shift how you perceive "getting older". As we are seeing today, those in their fifties and sixties are far from what I recall of generations past in the same decade. With more knowledge, comes better ways of living and improving the quality of one's experience. In such an instance, celebrate all the experience and knowledge you have acquired and keep using those tools to learn more, explore more and enrich your life even more as well. Surround yourself with positive energy Maybe you have children who are leaving home for college which opens up your schedule, maybe you are moving into a different line of work - taking on more responsibility, maybe you are returning from a life-changing experience and want to transition into a new way of living. Whatever your transition is, step fully into it and spend time with those who will support you along your new path. As there will be times of excitement where new adventures and experiences have your full attention, there will also be times when you question what you have chosen to do (or if not chosen, question if you can be as happy as you once were). In these moments, having people that will be understanding of your journey, but not wallow and wax nostalgic about the past, wishing in some small way, that the way it was would return, is imperative to navigating successfully through these hiccups that are inevitable. The good news is that they will subside, but perhaps never entirely disappear. After all, that is a good thing, in my opinion, as it means your journey has been rich, memorable and deeply and intensely lived fully. Trust that what is not being revealed is worth seeing and experiencing Even when we do step eagerly toward a new way of living, we can begin to doubt that we made the right decision. When in fact, what you are feeling is probably fear rather than doubt (read this post - The Difference Between Being Scared and Having Doubts). And if you are feeling fear, it is actually good sign as it an indication that you are indeed living a life that is true to your most authentic self. Why? Because what you are feeling in that moment is a deep ache for what you wish you attain, or a way of living you wish to make your own. If you didn't want it, if you didn't believe in it, you wouldn't be fearful that it wouldn't happen. The universe will not tell us how it will all work out. Nope, that is where faith in yourself, trust in your instincts about what is best for you and what you are willing to work for comes into play. Transitions are opportunities. If we shift our perspective to accept this, the journey through them becomes far easier to navigate and even at times quite pleasurable to enjoy. SIMILAR POSTS/EPISODES FROM THE ARCHIVES YOU MIGHT ENJOY: Why Not . . . Extinguish Self-Doubt? Why to Do When You Don't Know How the Future Will Unfold, episode #205 How to Let Go of Self-Imposed Limitations, #186 ~The Simply Luxurious Kitchen has begun its first season! View the first episode here and tune in each Saturday morning during September and October for a new episode. ~Sign up for TSLL's Weekly Newsletter Petit Plaisir: ~Visit your favorite local bakery to pick up a fresh loaf of bread for the week. Whether you enjoy toast in the morning (such as avocado toast), bread for sandwiches for lunch or bread with dinner, knowing it is homemade and a varietal you love welcomes a simple extra flavor to your week. -my weekly fresh bread pick-up at a favorite local bakery in Bend (I often pick up my loaf bi-weekly as I freeze half of the loaf)~ ~my favorite loaf from the bakery - Black Butte Porter - in use with my breakfast avocado toast (recipe here)- Sponsor for Today's Episode: Care/Of promo code -sophisticate Blinkist visit - blinkist.com/ss promo code - SS Outdoor Voices visit - outdoorvoices.com/simple promo code - simple ~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #225 ~Subscribe to The Simple Sophisticate: iTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio | YouTube | Spotify

"One of the greatest challenges we all face is to find a happy balance between the opportunities that are available to us, the media-implanted urge to have them all, and our own desire to keep focused on the things that really matter." —Elaine St. James in Living The Simple Life: A Guide to Scaling Down and Enjoying More Momentum is a powerful source of energy, and even though I am far from being a physicist, I understand the basic concept that since all objects have mass, and if an object is moving, it will have momentum, thus power/energy. We are objects of energy when we keep our schedules and lives running. Whatever pace you are moving at currently, if it is a pace you have become accustomed to for some time, it is easier to keep moving along at this pace than it is to slow down, even to speed up. As we begin Season 5 of the The Simple Sophisticate podcast today (check out the full schedule of episodes here), many of us are stepping back into a full schedule, or at least one slightly different from the previous season. Whether it is simply a busier schedule due to clients and staff returning from their holidays, or perhaps you as well, the pace tends to pick up, and if we aren't careful or conscious, we can move along with this energy without realizing that it may not work well for the balance we know is best. Now, granted, the pace you are stepping back into may be something you relish and works well; in this case, savor it, but simply be conscious of the energy that rolls forward and is easy to become swept up in without our being aware. If, however, the pace that fall (or the new season) brings is something you wish to shift, to improve, I have some ideas about how to instill a new pace of momentum that works best for your life. For the third time I read Elaine St. James' Living the Simple Life (1996), and it was upon reading it this summer that a few ideas she shared jumped out at me that had not previously. Most predominantly, taking a full month to live your life differently as a way to assess what you really need and determine what is helpful and what is actually hindering the quality of your life. As I read this, I recognized my own experience having had the opportunity to travel in France for an entire month this summer. During this time, as I shared in a couple of blog posts (Doubt the Default: How My Trip to France Woke Me Up, episode #218 and Why Not . . . Let Your Brain Calm Down?), the clarity I gained about what was helping and was was obstructing the quality of my life was illuminated. But upon reflection, it was the duration of the trip that enabled this to be more readily recognizable. Partly, this was because after spending four weeks in another culture, you are more acclimated than you realize, and so upon returning, there is an element of shock to your system (at least there was for me due to my fondness for the French culture). However, I am confident that we do not need to 'get away' to another country to have the same experience. As a teacher, each summer I feel I am given this opportunity to reassess what is working and what isn't, but it is my choice to reflect and then put into place the changes I realize would be beneficial. So here's the challenge and the opportunity - for one entire month, make one, some or all of the following changes to your lifestyle as inspired by Elaine St. James and my own experience and observations to free up more time in your life to do what you love or do nothing at all, simple to relax, sleep more, dream more, savor time with loved ones more, simply live as you please. With the month's conclusion, take an hour or a morning or an afternoon and reassess to see what differences (positive or negative) you experienced. Arrive at work either earlier or later than you do now, and then either stay earlier or later than you do now. In other words, shift when you are at work to try to find more productive hours, but do not stay longer than you currently do in total. Get up an hour earlier. While this may require of you to go to bed earlier, observe how the day begins when you give yourself breathing room to savor having more control in how you set the tone for the day. Remember it's just for one month. Stop watching the news. While this doesn't mean you don't have to stay informed as you can read or listen to the news, observe how no longer being the passenger when it comes to news viewing affects your attitude, assumptions and stress levels. But you may want to take it step further and . . . Stop reading or listening to the news (just for one month!) to see what differences may arise due to the absence of perpetual information. Change your exercise regimen. If you work out regularly in the afternoon, try working out in the mornings and observe how you go about your day and what it feels like to have the evenings free. If you attend classes in the morning, try taking them in the evening instead. Turn off the television. (posts to read - Why Not . . . Watch Less Television? and Why Not . . . Master the Television?) Take a couple of personal or sick days. Talk to your boss to restructure your work days (just for one month) to four 10 hour work days instead of five 8 hour work days if this is an option. Spend an entire weekend without making/attending any social or family commitments and give yourself permission to just do what speaks to you. If you can do this for more than one weekend during this month of assessment, you might begin to see helpful trends of what refuels and replenishes you. Eliminate all shopping except necessities such as groceries and vital personal items. Don't feel obligated to clean each week. Instead pick up each day as you go and clean every other week. Observe at the end of the month if this is possible. Take a bath when the mood strikes - morning, middle of the day, etc. If possible, give yourself a long window of no appointments right after lunch as your energy begins to recharge from the fuel of food and the midday break. (This book, which was a Petit Plaisir in episode #194, explains the timing of our days and when we are most productive.) Simplify meals - use the capsule menu approach. Make sure your épicerie is stocked and challenge yourself to shop and cook seasonally. Stop using social media on designated days (the weekend) or every evening after [select a time]. Be stricter than you might think you will do after the month; by doing so, you will be able to see if you actually notice a positive difference in your mood, time saved, etc. Stay off the phone (texting or talking) except for emergencies for the entire month for making plans to meet in person. Sounds extreme, but often we welcome more internal stress with the conversations we have that are not face to face. Yes, a work-around is to use social media, but if this at all sounds tempting (to go text and talk-free), take the challenge and observe any differences in your stress levels. Potentially the quality of conversations may improve as you spend more time face-to-face. Spend a weekend or a day (or even just an afternoon) somewhere that will feel like an escape from the old habits that you are trying to tweak. Upon traveling to this destination, turn the phone off and be fully present, engage, revel and celebrate. Observe what feels good about where you are and the pace of the day(s). Initially this list may seem impossible, but remember, it is only for one month, AND choose what piques your interest. Again, remind yourself as you begin the month with anything that may be difficult, It is only for one month. For one month I didn't watch the news, and by doing this, it made it far simpler to return to the states and not turn it on at home. As I mentioned last week, how I have adjusted is to watch the NBR (Nightly Business Report) and read a daily brief each morning. Anything else is quite jarring to me, far more than I recognized prior to my trip. The key for the changes you seek to become more comfortable is to give yourself this one month of practice or living or doing without. This is where momentum comes into play. It is very hard to shift gears as behaviors become habituated, even behaviors that are not helpful. And so when we initially begin to change the habit or behavior, we think the difficulty is due to it not being what is best. However, in truth, it is simple science - anything new, any shift of energy is slow and awkward until it gets going at a good and steady pace. Give yourself the full month to make the shift and redirect your momentum. When we discover that the blue sky was deeply blue today, far more than it was last week, we realize the pace we had been living previously was not allowing us the ability to be present, to observe and to appreciate. Such appreciation is part of improving the quality of our lives. And when we return after the month we challenged ourselves to above and begin to watch some television for example, we do so more discerningly, more thoughtfully, as we now recognize that indeed what we watch indirectly affects our emotions. May in one month's time, you have more free time and therefore a life of increased quality. ~SIMILAR POSTS/EPISODES FROM THE ARCHIVES YOU MIGHT ENJOY: Quality Thoughts = Quality Life Why Not . . . Live a Life of Quality? 26 Ways to Create the Life You Want episode #206: Simple Life Hacks to Get Back on Track ~Learn more and sign up for TSLL's Weekly Newsletter. ~TSLL Fall Shopping Guide 2018 was just released this past weekend. ~Saturday September 8th - The Simply Luxurious Kitchen vodcast debuts its first season! Petit Plaisir: ~The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society film on Netflix Based on the international bestselling novel by Mary Ann Shaffer and completed by her niece Annie Barrows when Mary Ann passed away in 2008. (2009) Click here to learn more about Mary Ann Shaffer's inspiration for the novel. Lily James from Downton Abbey (Lady Rose Aldridge) stars as the protagonist, writer Juliet Ashton https://youtu.be/vP9eDmX0ow0 Sponsors of Today's Episode: HelloFresh promo code: sophisticate60 Teami promo code: 15SIMPLE ~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #224 ~Subscribe to The Simple Sophisticate: iTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio | YouTube | Spotify | Podbean