The Simple Sophisticate - Intelligent Living Paired with Signature Style

"When you take control of your mornings, you take control of your days. You get to engage with the world under your terms. You can act, instead of react." —Hal Elrod, Miracle Morning Millionaires Reflect on those mornings in which you eagerly step out of bed regardless of the early hour. What was to happen in that day? Most likely, it was something you were excited to enjoy or partake in. Most likely it was something you loved doing or felt fortunate to have the opportunity to be a part of. However, what if I told you that having such a day actually begins with cultivating mornings, mornings that will heighten the overall quality of your life because a good morning is where you invest, a good morning is where you captures your ideas that are bouncing about asking to be caught, a good morning is where your good mood begins and what you carry with you throughout the day? 1.Invest in yourself Hal Elrod, author of Miracle Morning Millionaires reminds that the most popular personal financial advice is to 'pay ourselves first'. Referencing compound interest, this premise correlates to tapping into our true potential and bringing it forth. He states, "Time is similar. Developing yourself is the most powerful tool in the world." Making the argument that our mornings, each day are a boon of abundance of opportunity to leverage wisdom, productivity and clarity in order to invest in ourselves. And based on my own experience and after reading his book, I would wholeheartedly agree. Let's break down how the morning can indeed be a magical time of day to make the entire day awesome as well as contribute to the success we seek. 2. Give yourself time to ease into the morning " . . . Wake up slowly. Make awakening a delightful ritual." — Mary Beth Janssen Elrod shares in his book an acronym for specifically how to structure your mornings - S.A.V.E.R.S. (Silence, Affirmations, Visualization, Exercise, Reading, Scribing). While he breaks down each in great detail, after reading the book, as each of us will do should we read it, I began to intrepret it for myself - examine what I am curently doing that works and how it may fall into this structure, what I am doing differently and what I am not doing and ask myself why not and do I want to consider tweaking my routine. One detail that I feel is quite powerful to begin the day well is to ease into the day. For some, that may be silence (prayer, meditation, deep breathing, gratitude, etc.), for others it may be talking or snuggling with your partner (or pets). For me, easing into the morning is turning on my morning classical music station as a Breakfast with Bach is always being played at 5:05 for about 10-20 minutes (8:05 Philadelphia time as it is WRTI.org). Over the past year, I have found this practice to be gentle and not jarring, but something to ensure my mind begins dancing in the right direction to start the day well. For each of us, our "delightful ritual" as Mary Beth Janssen suggests, will be unique, but I encourage you to find a gentle way to wake up in the morning during those first few minutes before you set the intention for your day. 3. Drink 2 cups of water upon waking up Before you go to bed each night, have a pitcher or carafe of water (similar to the one shared on last week's This & That) next to your bed. While drinking water before bed is a good ideas as well, you will want to drink two cups of water upon waking up. Not only will this begin the process of cleansing your body of the toxins it has worked to rid from your system while you slept, but it will hydrate you and ultimately, help wake you up. 4. Shift your mindset about mornings "People do transform their lives, every day . . . The key, it turns out, is to simply start behaving like the person you want to become." —Jeff Wise, author of Extreme Fear: The Science of Your Mind in Danger It may seem overly simplified to state, "be the change you seek", but studies have proven this guidance to be true. In an article written for Psychology Today by the author above Jeff Wise, he writes, "Act out the change you want, and day by day, the weight of evidence will become undeniable. Before long, the person you pretend to be becomes the person that you are." And while we should not take on too much change all at once. In fact, sound advice is to take one one thing at a time, but if the change you are seeking is to be able to wake up in the morning well and rested, be proactive and start going to be earlier, start understanding how the mind works regarding neural patterns and put helpful "bumpers" in place to make it easier to be successful at being the morning person you want to become. Your mindset when it shifts to seeing the potential and magic that, when done well, of morning routines will enliven your eagerness to wake up because this is the part of the day that you have the most control over and, as well, have the most potential to improve your entire day. 5. Write down your thoughts Elizabeth Gilbert wrote in Big Magic: "When an idea thinks it has found somebody – say, you – who might be able to bring it into the world, the idea will pay you a visit. It will try to get your attention . . . The idea will try to wave you down (perhaps for a few moments; perhaps for a few months; perhaps even for a few years), but when it finally realises that you're oblivious to its message, it will move on to someone else." Beside my bed is a notepad, and each morning, as I am lying in bed listening to my classical music or simply in silence, when ideas pop up that I do not want to forget (because I have in the past, so I know I will even if I swear I won't), I write them down. It is not a journal entry, it is not long, it is just the idea. When I read Elizabeth Gilbert's book Big Magic a few years ago (listen to my podcast episode #70 inspired by my reading and listening to her speak at a local book reading), it resonated with me for a variety of reasons, but one was that we have within us so many treasures waiting to be discovered if only we would pay attention. And it is when we are quiet, the day is quiet, the world is quiet that we can best hear ideas that may not make sense fully to us now, but it is important that we capture them. "Creativity arises from silence and stillness." —Andy Puddicombe 6. Become clear in your mind about your journey and desired destination In other words, practice visualization. "Many people don't feel comfortable visualizing success and are subsconsciously scared to succeed . . . consider that the greatest gift you can give to those you love — and those you lead — is to live to your full potential." —Hal Elrod The goal is to change your subconscious. When you shift your mindset (this can be done through affirmations - spoken or written), and pair it with gaining clarity about what you are striving to create or become or do, you strengthen your motivation, overcome "self-limiting beliefs, as well as self-limiting habits such as procrastination" and make yourself available to attaining the success you seek. 7. Exercise regularly At this point you may feel this directive has been stated ad nauseum, but when it comes to our brain health and thus are overall health and finally our quality of life, did you know that "the best preditor of brain speed is aerobic capacity"? Yep. Dr. Steven Masley, a Florida physician and nutritionalist shares, "The average person going into [a corporate wellness program] will increase brain speed by 25-30 percent". But why is it preferable to exercise regularly in the morning? First of all, the exercise need not be extremely strenuous. it simply needs to be regular - a short 7 minute walk if that is all you have time for, but when we work out in the morning we give ourselves an energy boost that we can carry into our day. Personally, I love working out in the morning before I sit down to work fully, but currently, my teaching schedule makes this very difficult as I like to exercise with my dogs and prefer not to walk in the dark. With that said, I walk, ski, take a yoga class or paddle board 5-7 days a week after school when school is in session, otherwise, I do work out in the morning. The key is understanding the power and necessity of exercising regularly. 8. Read, Learn, Forever be a Student With many recommendations for how much we should read a day, the most important part is what you are reading. Read something that teaches you something, that deepens your understanding, stretches and challenges your mind and asks you to broaden your perspective, improves your communication skills which will improve your relationships. Active reading has been proven to deepen comprehension of the content being absorbed which involves annotating as you read - underlining, circling, margin notes, summarizing in writing at the end of each chapter, etc. - and do not feel as though you have to finish each book you start or read it in order if it is a non-fiction book. Reading feeds your mind, and as you may have noticed, in many of our points discussed today, it is the mind that will lead us to success if we become its master and care for it properly. I prefer to read newspapers, articles I have saved from the weekend deliveries, or online Life & Science articles from my newspaper subscriptions. I also read a daily briefing each morning from my national newspaper. Depending upon your schedule you might read a few pages from a book in the morning. Each of us again will be different as to what we want to read when, but I usually keep my books for lunchtime reading or evening reading unless it is a research topic I am doing for TSLL. 9. Enjoy a delicious, satiating, energy-boosting breakfast I have shared multiple times that I enjoy nearly the same breakfast each morning (I even produced a cooking show episode around it), and at a recent book signing here in Bend I shared that I actually wake up looking forward to my morning routine, especially my breakfast. Along with what you choose to eat to begin your nutritional day, design a morning breakfast ritual that is inviting, fun (yes, fun!) and contributes to the overall morning routine that helps you ease into your day with eagerness and clarity. Here is a glimpse of what is part of my morning breakfast (aside from the food itself - click here to learn more and see the recipes). While the steel oats are soaking for 15-20 minutes, the boys and I go for a mini walk to say hello to the neighborhood. I empty the dishwasher if it needs to be tended to Pack my lunch for school if during the school year While enjoying my breakfast, I play the daily mini crossword from The New York Times (it's free!). Read the Daily Briefing online of the news from one of my subscribed national newspapers The boys look forward to a breakfast dog treat as well. Classical music fills the kitchen 10. Meditate Perhaps your moment of meditation takes place as you ease into the day, first thing in the morning. I prefer to go through most of my morning routine and following breakfast, once my mind and body are fed, sit down for morning meditation of 5-10 minutes. The calm moments I have leading up to this moment, and then the actual moments engaged in meditation further solidify a positive tone that I wish to carry with me throughout my day. ~Discover the benefits and how to meditate here 11. Check in to make sure all is well with your business and view the plan for the day This will depend upon what your work is. But checking in can also include the other people in your household. This is a time to check in with each others' schedules, for example, as well as your own. For me, this is when I check my email and make sure all is going well before I return to my office (after my walk or after school) and get started with my work day. I take a look at my daily schedule, remind myself of appointments, errands, etc. that need to be completed through the day. Another idea is to set your three goals you want to accomplish for the day. Yes, three. And put them in order of importance. In other words, at the end of the day, having completed what three tasks will make you feel productive and satisfied. If only one item is complete, make sure it is the one at the top of your list and move the two that have yet to be completed to the top of the list tomorrow. 12. Waking up early is a skill Believe it or not, once you are an adult (adolescent brains require more sleep and actually do fall asleep later than young children and adults as their melatonin kicks in two hours later than which is what evokes one to feel sleepy), you create the habit that will make you either a morning person or not. Why? Because you will create neural patterns in your brain that make it habituated to going to sleep or waking up at certains times of day. If you have experienced jetlag, traveled or lived in a distant land, only to return weeks, months or years later, you know that with time, you can adjust your circadian rhythms, but it does take time and conscious effort. The magic of our mornings will likely surpass what you believe will be possible. Our mornings become the springboard, the starting off point, and the more bounce we have, the higher we are capable of soaring. "When you wake up with excitement and create a purposeful, powerful, productive morning, you set yourself up to win the day." —Hal Elrod When it comes to cultivating a day and thus a life you love living, if you love the way your life is at this very moment and it is working for you, then keep doing what you are doing. But if you recognize that the way the day begins can be improved, or you feel you have more to give if only you could restructure how you go about your day, or you just don't know what to do to improve the quality of your days and thus life, look no further than your mornings. It truly is that simple. ~A note to YouTube listeners, the podcast will no longer be available on YouTube beginning February 1st. You Can Subscribe to The Simple Sophisticate: iTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio | Spotify ~SIMILAR POSTS/EPISODES YOU MIGHT ENJOY: ~Why Not . . . Jump Start Your Day? ~How to Ensure a Bountiful Harvest (in Life), episode #177 ~The Importance of a Daily Routine and How to Create One You Love, episode #164 ~The Importance of Balance in Our Everyday: Yes, It Is Possible ~Why Not . . . Have an Amazing Day in the Middle of the Work Week? ~Why Not . . . Recharge the Mid-Week Slump? ~My Daily Breakfast & More Morning Meal Ideas: Steel Oats, Soft Boiled Eggs & Soldiers, episode #3 of The Simply Luxurious Kitchen (cooking show) ~Listen to my conversation with Kimberly Wilson on her podcast, Tranquility du Jour, where we talk about my new book Living The Simply Luxurious Life in a recent episode on her show, #438 ~Learn more about TSLL's Weekly Newsletter Petit Plaisir: ~7 Days Out, Netflix https://youtu.be/cTuuD-PV-yQ ~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #243 ~Subscribe to The Simple Sophisticate: iTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio | YouTube | Spotify

If you Google "self-care", more than two billion posts, articles, books and videos pop up. For a variety of reasons, many valid, self-care is topic of discussion in the world, and the reality that stress levels in America have increased for the first time in 10 years is evidence that perhaps we all would benefit from understanding the value of proper self-care. The topic is something that is indirectly discussed here on TSLL blog and the podcast since both were founded. But today I wanted to dig down to understand what self-care is and the benefits of incorporating it regularly into our daily lives. The Oxford Dictionary defines self-care as "to preserve or improve one's own health", and while often self-care is explained as being free and easy, the truth is, real self-care is not initially easy if we haven't incorporated it into our lives properly. Eventually, it will become habituated, but with any new skill we are choosing to bring into our lives, there is a period of struggle, of frustration. Mary Beth Janssen describes in her 2017 The Book of Self-Care, "No amount of massages, hot baths, aromatherapy, healthy food or exercise will sustain us over the span of our lives if not experienced from the layer of our being that is pure consciousness." In other words, there is deeper work that needs to be done, but we can still incorporate these surface, pleasure-finding practices into our self-care regimen. True self-care enables each of us to attain optimal well-being, thus the opportunity to practice the art of living well, a fundamental component of living simply luxuriously. Again, Mary Beth Janssen: "Self-care is the ultimate healing mechanism for wholeness in mind, body and soul . . . preventative health care at its best." How do we pay attention and practice optimal well-being? Let's take a look. 1.Start with getting to know yourself. ~Why Not . . . Get to Know Yourself?, 3-part series 2. Practice Self-Compassion As human, Janssen reminds, "Beyond basic physiological needs, fundamental human needs are for attention, affection, appreciation and acceptance". In summation, we all need love, and that includes self-love. ~Why Not . . . Have Self-Compassion?, episode #122 3. Refrain from letting your emotions run your life Our perceptions of the world, of those around us and of ourselves are powerful. When we change our mind, our thoughts, our understanding, we truly can change our world. ~Emotional Intelligence: A Crucial Tool for Enhanced Quality in Work and Life, episode #140 4. Choose to understand the Ego's role in your life There are positive effects of having an Ego - "when in higher states of consciousness, [it] ensures that our basic needs are being met so that we may fulfill our life's purpose", but it can act as a result of fear. When we feel we are losing control, power or needs, but does not have approval from the external world, it can get nasty. 5.Choose to respond, rather than react to daily events that are unexpected and unwanted. ~Responding vs. Reacting: The Difference, episode #145 6. Practice being present each moment - improve your mindfulness ~11 Ways to Live More Mindfully 7. Cultivate daily, weekly, monthly, seasonal and annual rituals ~The Benefit of Daily Rituals ~Living The Simply Luxuirous Life: Making Your Everydays Extraordinary and Becoming Your Best Self (Nov. 2018) 8. Spend time in Nature ~Why Not . . . Spend Time in Nature? 9. Create In the kitchen, in the studio, on the dance floor, on the computer, in your home, in the museum, you get the idea. 10. Celebrate seemingly ordinary events that truly are extraordinary upon closer inspection The changing of the seasons, mini and major life milestones 11. Practice compassion A study by the National Institutes of Health in 2015 revealed that "brain imaging shows how the practice of compassion stimulates the same pleasure centers associated with the desire for food, water and sex." 12. Understand the detrimental power of stress and change what creating the distress Janssen points out that stress is "triggered by the body's instinct to defend itself - the 'fight or flight' response", but if we leave this feeling unchecked and allow it to become a regular state, distress accumulates and then a long stretching list of chronic and acute diseases can follow. Eliminating distress is in fact preventative health care. And thus, it is self-care. Remember #5 and practice responding rather than reacting as when we react, the potential for our stress to rise increases. ~Why Not . . . Avoid Unnecessary Stress? 13. Schedule regular time to rejuvenate 14. Become a regular journal writer ~Why Not . . . Journal Regularly? 15. Practice regular meditation As talked about before on the blog and in my recent book, mediation is a powerful skill, and often one that is misunderstood to those who have yet to understand what it truly is. First of all, I too used to be one of those who misunderstood meditation. I used to errantly believe I had to stop my thought, not think at all. This is absolutely incorrect. Meditation, is the ability to "observe our thoughts, breathing with them, allowing them to happen without judging, believing, arguing or interacting with them." And with regular practice, Janssen states, "you learn to interrupt conditioned behavior —the habitual reactivity to our thoughts . . . observing our thoughts allows us to interrupt this process." 16. Stay hydrated Place a reminder on your phone four different times each day to remind yourself to drink 16 ounces of water (2 cups). If you adhere to this schedule, you will meet the recommended 64 ounces of water a day. 17. Improve time management Instead of simply rearranging what you do, eliminate what are no longer priorities in your life. ~Time Management: 13 Habits that Make My Life Run More Productively, episode #114 18. Enjoy regular, deep nights of sleep ~Why Not . . . Get A Good Night's Sleep? 19. Cultivate an environment - home, work, personal - of support, optimism and respect 20. Enjoy eating well and with the seasons ~The Simply Luxurious Kitchen - Seasonal Meals to Elevate the Everyday 21. Let go of what you cannot control ~Let Go and Elevate Your Life ~6 Fixed Life Ideas to Let Go ~Why Not . . . Let Go? 27 Things to Bid Adieu ~Understand This Tricky Paradox of Control in Order to Improve Your Life, episode #226 22. Play a lot! In other words, exercise, but change the term you use to describe it it. ~TSLL Health Archives 23. Set healthy boundaries Boundaries exhibit self-awareness of what you need to live well, productively and feel respected and loved. Cultivating healthy boundaries involves being able to say no without apologizing, and doing so in a non confrontational manner. Read more about how to set boundaries and why they are vital to building a life you love living and relationships that are strong, loving and full of mutual respect. "Remember, when you claim your boundaries, you're not defining, attacking or judging someone as a person. Rather, you are defining a behavior that needs to change for you to feel comfortable. This is the boundary." ~A Powerful Couple: Boundaries & Vulnerability, episode #126 24. "Express gratitude to those who respect your boundaries" 25. Understand what mindfulness is and practice "Live life from [your] depths", not on the surface. In other words, don't be dependent upon outer circumstances for your happiness. In fact, that is what happiness is - "hap" is the Old Norse (medieval Norwegian language) for luck. Instead, find your calm, your contentedness, from within. I loved this quote that was shared in the book, so I want to share it with you: "There is pleasure in being in a ship beaten about by a storm, when we are sure that it will not founder." —Pascal 26. Become "Mindfully Curious" Another way to become more present in your everyday is to practice the term coined by Janssen, "mindful curiosity". Let your youthful, playful side come forth. Stop editing yourself and experience what is right in front of you and all around you. See the beauty, see the awesomeness and celebrate it in your own way. ~This week's Petit Plaisir exemplifies the act of being mindfully curious. 27. Slow down ~10 Life Lessons from Provence: Slow Down & Savor the Everyday 28. Discover the power of the colors that surround you and welcome more natural light into your world 29. Limit or Eliminate exposure to upsetting imagery and events and people 30. Continue to be a forever learner and become okay with not knowing 31. Heal what hurts "If you want to change your thinking, heal your heart." Understand how to be emotional intelligent. Self-care is mandatory, not a luxury. When we choose to regular practice self-care we are being respectful to ourselves, but also modeling to others' that they too are worthy of the same kindness. And when we practice kindness, receive kindness and understand what true kindness is, we can better extend it to others without expectation and we can recognize unkindness and walk away as a means of being respectful to ourselves. As a new year begins, why not strengthen the foundation of what will enable you to be your best self, but enjoy your everyday all the more and thus create a life you love living and sharing with others? ~SIMILAR POSTS/EPISODES YOU MIGHT ENJOY: ~16 Ideas for Simple Everyday Self-Care, episode #227 ~The Art of Savoring: How to Invite the Skill of Savoring Into Our Lives, #213 ~Learn How to Truly Savor Everyday MOments & Watch It Elevate Your Life, episode #163 Petit Plaisir: ~Queen to Play (Joueuse) ~based on Bertina Hendrich's novel The Chess Player https://youtu.be/4RcBGcMJY7Y ~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #242 ~Subscribe to The Simple Sophisticate: iTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio | YouTube | Spotify Image: The boys and I captured on her walk in the falling snow yesterday via Instagram (@thesimplyluxuriouslife)

"In bringing about genuine inner transformation and change, the Dalai Lama emphasizes the importance of making a sustained effort. It is a gradual process." —The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living by The Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler, M.D. The resolutions whether you have concretely written them down or potential ideas of what you wish could improve in this new year are dancing about in your mind, are being considered because you recognize growth that you'd like to see in yourself and in your way of living. In redoing my office space this past weekend, I was reintroduced to The Art of Happiness - a book that I purchased in 1999, read with eager curiosity, and only now is able to more deeply understand what was written. Much of what is shared reinforces what the art of living well consists of - a better understanding of one's mind, as well as one's self, giving yourself permission to delve into your emotions, becoming comfortable with letting go of attachment, and being willing to have patience, put forth great effort. Also, becoming conscious of how society and the culture each of us resides influences us and our ways of living that we may not be fully aware. In chapter 12, the subject focuses on "Bringing About Change", and the three components of success and lasting change are determination, effort and time. A reminder of this truth is apropos this time of year, but truthfully at any time of the year when we choose to make an improvement, and especially when we think the change is impossible or becomes too difficult. On the subject of the change we seek being difficult to attain, the Dalai Lama was asked the following question by Dr. Howard C. Cutler, "People often want to make positive changes in their lives, engage in healthier behaviors, and so on. But sometimes there just seems to be a sort of inertia or resistance . . . How would you explain how that occurs?" The Dalai Lama responds, "That's quite easy . . . It's because we simply become habituated or accustomed to doing things in certain ways. And then, we become sort of spoiled, doing only the things that we like to do, that we are used to doing." When asked how can a person overcome this, he responds, "By using habituation to our advantage. Through constant familiarity, we can definitely establish new behavior patterns . . . by making a steady effort, I think we can overcome any form of negative conditioning and make positive changes in our lives. But you still need to realize that genuine change doesn't happen overnight." Being realistic is certainly a good idea when it comes to setting goals and making resolutions, but we also should not be afraid of making significant change even if we aren't sure how long it will take. If new year's resolutions revolve around the theme of losing weight, refrain from the quick fixes and instead cultivate a healthy and enjoyable way of living. This includes not only diet, but exercise and a balanced daily life that does not leave you exhausted and chronically stressed. Look at the habits that are helpful and be honest about the unhelpful defaults. If new year's resolutions have to do with completing a significant project or task, be realistic about your schedule and prioritize and perhaps eliminate other activities or responsibilities in order to give your best effort. Today is the day when we set an intention, but the immediate next step once we have outlined the journey to arrive at our desired destination, is to put into action the activities, new habits and mindset we need to be successful. And since we're on the topic of success, educational psychologist Benjamin Bloom "examined the lives of some of America's most accomplished artists, athletes and scientists. He discovered that drive and determination, not great natural talent, led to the success in their respective fields." In other words, be persistent, when it becomes difficult, read my New Year's 2018 post and recite Marie Forleo's saying, "And this is what I want". And then keep doing the daily work, consciously sticking to the habits that will eventually become part of your muscle memory, and eventually, you too will see the awesome change you seek. The new year holds an abundance of promise. Seek out that promise because you do have what it takes to attain it. Bonne année! Happy New Year! ~SHOP TSLL BOUTIQUE and use promo code LIVESL15 through Friday January 4th to save 15% off your order of notepads, planning pages or signed copies of TSLL's two books. ~SIMILAR POSTS YOU MIGHT ENJOY: ~episode #137: Welcoming A Year of Quality, One Month at a Time ~One Resolution at a Time: A Year of Quality, My KATU Afternoon Live Conversation ~2018: Finding Courage to Make It Amazing Petit Plaisir: ~Cosy: The British Art of Comfort by Laura Weir ~Shop Etsy for French Compotes and other treasure finds for the home and getting cosy. ~Follow me on Etsy and discover my favorite shops! ~SHOP A FEW FINDS FOUND BY SHANNON: ~a compote in Sharon Santoni's guest cottage full of fresh fruit upon my arrival this summer. See more here.~ ~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #241 ~Subscribe to The Simple Sophisticate: iTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio | YouTube | Spotify

Season 5 of The Simple Sophisticate podcast kicked off earlier this year in September. Just prior to beginning, I shared the schedule of the season (see below) so that listeners would know for sure which Mondays they could tune in to find new and inspiring content. But I must admit, as today approached, it was odd not to offer listeners something to begin their week (as only two new episodes were scheduled in December), so I have decided for the remaining three Mondays of 2018, to share with you the top downloaded episodes from previous seasons. Today, one of the top episodes from season #1 is shared - episode #23: The French Way - 20 Ways to Create a Luxurious Everyday. This particular episode was not only one of the top five episodes downloaded on iTunes during our first season, but it has since been viewed 7K+ on YouTube. You can view the complete list and links mentioned during the episode here, and as an update to the season's schedule, I will be airing a brand new episode of the podcast on TUESDAY January 1st! After all, it is the beginning of a new year, and I couldn't wait until the 7th to kick off the new month. So that means, you will have a top episode from the archives airing on Monday December 31st and the next day, Tuesday January 1st - a brand new episode to inspire you as you step into the new year. Wishing you a wonderful penultimate week before we say adieu to 2018. ~View the SHOW NOTES of EPISODE #23 (originally posted in February 2015) ~Listen/Read the Top podcast episode of all-time here - The 8 Pillars of A Simply Luxurious Life, episode #1 ~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #238 ~Subscribe to The Simple Sophisticate: iTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio | YouTube | Spotify

"Things in their original simplicity contain their own natural power, power that is easily spoiled and lost when that simplicity is changed." —Benjamin Hoff, author of The Tao of Pooh ~Below is a list of the life lessons shared on today's podcast episode. For detailed conversation about each point, be sure to listen to the audio version as Shannon elaborates on each point. ~Correction 12/11/2018: The copyright of The Tao of Pooh is 1982. The copyright of The Adventures of Winnie the Pooh is 1926. ~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #237 ~Subscribe to The Simple Sophisticate: iTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio | YouTube | Spotify The written character P'u (pronounced Pooh) is defined as natural, simple, plain, honest. This basic Taoist principle not only applies to things, but to people too 1.Find what you can uniquely give the world "The Way of Self-Reliance begins with recognizing who we are. Each of us has something special hidden inside somewhere. But until we recognize that it's there, what can we do but splash around, treading water? The first thing we need to do is recognize and trust our own Inner Nature, and not lose sight of it." P. 65 2.Life can be truly fun, no matter what your age "When you discard arrogance, complexity, and a few other things that get in the way, sooner or later you discover that simple, childlike and mysterious secret known to those of the Uncarved Life: Life is Fun." Cleverness has its limitations. It's mechanical judgments and clever remarks tend to prove inaccurate with passing time, because it doesn't look very deeply into things to begin with. P37 3. Just be yourself, embrace your awesome "When you know and respect your inner nature, you know where you belong." "Cottleston Pie - a way of saying inner nature. No two people are the same either. Everything has its own inner nature. Unlike other forms of life, though, people are easily led away from what's right for them, because people have brain and the brain can be fooled. But many people do not look at it or listen to it, and consequently do not understand themselves very much. Having little understanding of themselves, they have little respect for themselves, and are therefore easily influenced by others. "P. 57 4. The change you want does not exist outside of yourself "Real progress involves growing and developing, which involves changing inside." 5. Be patient on your journey "No matter how useful we may be, sometimes it takes us a while to recognize our own value." p. 117 6. Being an optimist will serve you well "The play-it-safe pessimists of the world never accomplish much of anything, because they don't look clearly and objectively at situations, they don't recognize or believe their own abilities, and they won't stretch those abilities to overcome even the smallest amount of risk." P. 122 "Wisdom, Happiness, and Courage are not waiting somewhere out beyond sight at the end of a straight line; they are part of a continuous cycle that begins right here . . . it's sometimes referred to as the Snowball Effect, which can remind you of the time you pushed that little ball of snow along, and it got bigger and bigger until it got so big you couldn't stop it . . . now the principle can work negatively or positively. It can promote cynicism as easily as it can encourage hope . . . the important thing is to make it work for yourself and for the benefit of others." 7. Discover the Power and Opportunity for Rejuvenation with Time Spent with Yourself "Music is the space between the notes - emptiness cleans out the messy mind and charges up the batteries of spiritual energies - Loneliness actually begins when all the spaces are full and the tv gets turned on to make it go away. The power of a clear mind is beyond description." ~SIMILAR POSTS/EPISODES from the ARCHIVES YOU MIGHT ENJOY: ~How to Live Alone Well, episode #33 ~15 Everyday Habits to Live a Life of Contentment, episode #93 ~Authenticity: The Courage to Be Yourself, episode #6 ~TSLL's New Book - Living The Simply Luxurious Life: Making Your Everydays Extraordinary and Becoming Your Best Self (released November 13, 2018) ~Learn more about TSLL's Weekly Newsletter The Simple Sophisticate podcast, Season 5 Schedule Mondays - December 17, 24, 31 - Listen to three of the post popular/downloaded posts of Season 1 & 2 A brand new episode will air TUESDAY January 1st! Petit Plaisir: ~The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 2 (especially episode 2 as it is set in Paris)

"You should read this." "You should do this." "You shouldn't be wasting your time doing . . . " Over the past couple years I have been wrestling with the uncomfortability that piques me any time a friend, family member or even complete stranger states something including the word "should" in the declaration. And after much grappling, I discovered the root of my uneasiness each time the word would be stated/written with such ease from a speaker. Rather than motivating or inspiring one to act in a particular manner, it was dictating. The strength of a civilized society is how well it effectively communicates. Defined by Livestrong, effective communication is the act "of sharing information, thoughts and feelings . . . through speaking, writing or body language to require that transmitted content [be] received and understood by someone in the way it was intended". The gift of a free society, of a democratic society, is that the people have choices of what they will or will not do. And while, arguable, yes, having what often feels like infinite choices can be numbing, inspiring us to choose either the easy route or no route at all due to paralysis, we do have a choice. Because we have choices about who we build friendships with, who we choose to share our hearts with, and how we choose to build our lives, once we recognize that letting go and refraining from telling others how to live is a pillar for stronger, healthy relationships, we no longer are cowed into being dictated to by those who know no other way to lead or direct. In our modern society, when we eliminate "should" from our vocabulary, we not only strengthen our relationships, we convey respect to others and their journey as well as our own. How? Let's take a look at benefits of letting go of the word "should" from our everyday conversations with others and ourself. When we refrain from using the word "should" (also, should not) in our vocabulary . . . 1.We exemplify our open-mindedness When we don't have expectations regarding how others "should" act, we communicate nonverbally, that there are many different ways for people to live. Simply because someone goes about life differently than we do, does not mean it is wrong. It is merely different. Ultimately, by not using the word "should", we open the door for further communication so that more understanding of both sides can be brought forth. 2. We communicate responsibility for our life journey Not only is using "should" unhelpful for our relationships with others, it is also disastrous for the relationship we have with ourself. When we tell ourselves what we "should" be doing, we are implying judgment upon our actions, as if we do not have control - when we know cognizantly we absolutely, we do have control. A better approach to this unhelpful default of how we communicate with ourselves is, as was shared on Tiny Buddha, is to remind ourselves of the benefits of the behavior we would like to practice, but is more difficult to perform. As well, by reminding ourselves of the characteristics we wish to project to the world and the values that are important to us, it becomes easier to do what we know would be best to live the life we love living. 3. We reduce destructive self-criticism In episode #122 (Why Not . . . Have Self-Compassion?), I shared in detail the benefits of reducing or eliminating self-criticism in order to improve the overall quality of our lives. After all, how we treat ourselves is how we allow others to treat us, so when we show ourselves respect, we headline to the world that we know and believe ourselves to be deserving of respect. 4. We become honest observers of our lives (emotions, actions, etc.) and navigate them healthily for positive growth Writer Hannah Braime shared honestly that when she would feel jealous or angry, she would beat herself up verbally for feeling said feelings. In actuality, she discovered that instead of ignoring them, she needed to explore them, in order to better understand herself and how she engaged with the world around her. In so doing, we learn, we become students of life, and enable real growth to occur. 5. We celebrate the vast goodness, rather than moan when our narrow and limiting expectations were not met As I shared in a recent KATU segment on the keys to contentment, the difference between having expectations (which includes using the word "should") and hope (keeping an open mind) is that we are better able to see all the awesomeness that surrounds us. The analogy I used was expectations is akin to viewing life through a peep hole (narrow), versus viewing life through a house that has floor to ceiling windows and walls - wide open. 6. We shift our outlook to being positive, rather than looking for the problems, the hiccups, the one detail that just isn't right in our minds By choosing to keep an open-mind, we see more, we come to understand there is far more goodness and awesomeness than we may have initially believed because we are not drilling down and solely focusing on that one singular behavior, outcome, etc. 7. We and others we work with and around become more productive Inspired workers, inspired people are more engaged, filled less with fear and thus have more energy to produce good work. Fear cultivates stress, stress expends energy, and that is energy that can be used for positive progress rather than gently walking a tightrope trying to figure out what we are supposed to do to avoid the wrath of our boss, our colleague, our partner, our friend, our parents, etc. 8. We begin to be inspired to work and tend to tasks that are on our to-do list, rather than doing them with dread or displeasure. Changing the way we think and speak, eliminating the "should", is a shift, and for most of us, a big shift, that will take time. But if we are only living in such a way because we think we "should", we are not living well. We want to live our everydays with purpose, but also contented engagement. Knowing why we are doing anything is a simple way to provide motivation rather than dread. When we have purpose for what we are doing, we can engage with an uplifting and happy disposition, rather than just trying to complete something in order to get it done. Writer Jack Ninivaggi points out that when we look at the word "should" as it is defined, we can better understand how destructive using it in our everyday language can be: "Verb: 1. used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone's actions." Approaching a conversation that aims at seeking change is less likely to be effective when the tone is critical. As noted initially, inspiring action yields more of the results we seek more often. The words we use are powerful, and as has been discussed on the blog and podcast before, sometimes we get into defaults that are not positively enhancing our lives. Check your dialogue and how you speak to those you love - which includes yourself. Are you inspiring or dictating? If you are doing the latter, perhaps that is why some relationships have peetered out or are not as strong as you would like. And if you have embodied the former, keep up the practice as it is a habit that while seemingly insignificant, can truly life changing. ~SIMILAR POSTS/EPISODES FROM THE ARCHIVES YOU MIGHT ENJOY: ~Why Not . . . Cultivate Contentment Today? ~One Small Adjustment Away from Contentment ~Making Connections ~Learn more about TSLL's Weekly Newsletter Petit Plaisir: ~A Simply Luxurious Holiday Playlist ~TSLL's 2018 Holiday Gift Guide ~Chocolate Almond Praline Cookies (a Petit Plaisir from #183)

"There is nothing that makes me happier than sitting around the dinner table and talking until the candles are burned down."― Madeleine L'Engle, author of A Circle of Quiet Dinner parties. I would love to ask the question of what comes to mind when the phrase "dinner party" is expressed because depending upon so many factors - culture, familial experience, region of the country in which you live that you lived in and do now, and many more - we each have a perception of what a dinner party entails. Having grown up in a household in which my mother would carefully plan the day, and pleasurably set the table, all the while knowing exactly when certain dishes should be made, put in the oven, etc. I saw it as a positive experience. My dad was and still is a great host, welcoming and entertaining guests while my mom finishes getting dressed now that all of the food and settings are prepared. Since then, I have enjoyed meals with my mentor from time to time in Eugene, Oregon, and each dinner party I attended, she served in courses - appetizer and cocktails enjoyed in the living room next to the fire, the second and main course served in the dining room, followed by the dessert, and often it would end back in the living room as we unwound with a cup of hot tea or espresso/coffee. My travels to France have only confirmed the joy of a dinner party that pays no mind to time, and while often the idea of courses is received as a pretentious idea, I have enjoyed it casual and higher end experiences and have found it a good idea for my waistline as I take the time to savor the food. Now everyone's approach to a dinner party will be different, but choosing to host a dinner party is something I have always enjoyed doing, although I haven't done as much entertaining in Bend as of late which is why I decided to host one just this past weekend before Thanksgiving with a small group of friends and colleagues. I let go of the need to feel as though I had everything "just right" in my home (in fact, I had to bring an extra table in as I no longer had a large dining table as I sold it before my move to Bend), and I reminded myself that the impetus to have a dinner party is to share good food with people you enjoy being with and want to either get to know further or offer a moment during our busy lives to relax and simply enjoy our time together without expectation. It has been my experience hosting dinner parties in the states that some people are quite happy to enjoy a meal they do not have to cook, others are curiously surprised by the multiple dishes that keep coming, but whether the food is exactly as I had hoped or not, our time yields some lovely conversation and connection that doesn't always happen in our brief interactions during our days. 1.Begin with something bubbly upon guests' arrival Whether you have a preference for Champagne, Cava, Prosecco, Sparkling Wine or Sparkling non-alcoholic beverages, or maybe even a special bubbly cocktail, have it prepped and ready for guests as soon as you take their coats and clutches. Once they have something in their hands they will relax more quickly whether they are sipping quickly or not. The goal is to bring ease and let them know they are welcome. 2. If guests, ask what they can bring, have a simple idea that is inexpensive and helpful to you as well While as a host/hostess, we don't expect our guests to bring anything but themselves and their witty repartee, but we are also told as guests to ask. So if a guest asks, so either have an idea of what you might want or reassure them that indeed you truly want them to come, relax and enjoy. 3. Order a couple more wine glasses than you will have guests If you are like me, you have broken a few wine glasses over the years while cleaning them or in the middle of dinner as dishes are being passed about. Even if you typically have small dinner parties like myself 4-6, having eight is always a good idea for that extra guest you want to invite and for that moment you realize you broke your sixth glass last time you had a dinner party. ~Wine glasses from Crate & Barrel 4. So long as you have a tablecloth . . . It really doesn't matter what table (or tables, in my most recent case) are beneath it so long as you have a tablecloth, or cloths, that unify. Find a simple linen table cloth (H & M is selling beautiful simple white, taupe, navy and stone linen tablecloths on sale), and you are set to create a signature and inviting dining table for your guests. 5. Buy plates in sets of 6-10 whenever and wherever you buy them One of the many details that caught my attention while dining for lunch each day with Patricia Wells was that there was always matching plates for each course, but that didn't mean that each course's plates had to match the next. Whether you find them at second-hand shops, brocantes, on sale during the holidays at Crate & Barrel or Sur la Table, if you see a beautiful soup bowl set, scoop them up. Having enough plates for each courses makes it easier on the host, as you aren't cleaning during the meal, and a beautiful way to present your food as well. 6. Ditto for placemats While you may never know where or when you will find placemats that catch your eye, having them at the ready is a great idea to, again, create an inviting dining table. I found a few on Etsy you might also gravitate toward. [show_shopthepost_widget id="3364331"] 7. I love serving the meal in courses As I mentioned at the top of the post, I gravitate toward serving courses when I invite guests to dinner. If its a cocktail party or a casual gathering, buffet style is a better fit, but when it is dinner, as I share in this detailed post, I do love serving courses: more time with my guests, more time to enjoy the food and more time to just savor the simple pleasures of food, conviviality and life. 8. Make sure to have something for those who don't drink alcohol I have made this mistake before and since I don't drink much more than water, tea or orange juice, have found myself in a pinch for those rare guests who don't drink. Whether it is a sparkling apple cider or sparkling water, have something bubbly and new for all of your guests to enjoy from the beginning of the evening to the wee hours of the night. 9. Add a natural touch to the powder room (even if it is never used) Just a simple bud vase with a freshly cut bloom is all that is needed, but it freshens up and brightens up the room, letting your guests know they are indeed in the correct bathroom as often, they are new to your home. Sometimes I add a candle as well. 10. Have a supply of extra (comfortable) folding chairs when necessary I adore my tufted linen upholstered chairs which I have had for years (many readers saw them for the first time in my previous home here), but I do only have four of them and am not in the budget space to purchase 2-4 more (perhaps someday). But in reality, all I need on an everyday basis is four, so having nice, comfortable folding chairs that can be easily stored is a good idea for those of us who live in smaller homes without the grand room for the large dining room table. My mom has been very helpful on this front, helping me find a few that integrate well with my aesthetic, are comfortable to sit in and are as well quite sturdy. Here are a few ideas for nice foldable chairs to peruse. Choosing to have a dinner party is often something to plan ahead letting your guests know so they can make available the date, but not always. If you are ready with these simple tips shared above, you can call people around for a wonderful meal in a matter of days, as your home is ready. Simply add trusted, delicious food and the evening will be quite a treat for all (host included). ~TSLL's New Book was just released! Living The Simply Luxurious Life: Making Your Everydays Extraordinary and Becoming Your Best Self (available on Amazon, and wherever books are sold. As well, signed copies can be ordered here on the blog). ~SIMILAR POSTS/EPISODES from the Archives You Might Enjoy: ~Why Not . . . Host a Dinner Party Al Fresco? ~episode #168: French Everyday Living with Author & Blogger Sharon Santoni (2017) ~Why Not . . . Have a Dinner Party? ~Why Not . . . Host a Holiday Meal with Friends? ~Why Not . . . Eat in Courses? ~Why Not . . . Sit Down For Dinner? Petit Plaisir ~Pine Cone Hill Cozy Fleece, Linen or Cotton Robes ~Save 25% off your purchase with promo code CYBER18 (free shipping too!) ~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #235 ~Subscribe to The Simple Sophisticate: iTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio | YouTube | Spotify Sponsors for today's episode: HelloFresh Promo Code: sophisticate60 Holly & Tanager, The Professional: Backpack Purse (check out the video below) Visit hollyandtanager.com/SIMPLE Save 15% off your first order with promo code SIMPLE at checkout

"Heat is the element of transformation. It is was takes raw to cooked, flabby to firm. Pale to golden brown. " —Salt, Fat, Heat, Acid, documentary, Samin Nosrat The topic of butterflies has been abundant here on TSLL blog - in 2011, What Butterflies Have Taught Me; in 2016 - The Butterfly Moment in Life: Don't Wait, Just Live Well, episode #160; in 2010 - With Balance and Determination - and after reading these past posts, you will quickly see my long-held fascination with this transformative insect with a large pair of brilliantly, uniquely colored wings (and Norman's too as explained in the first post listed). Let be being this conversation by sharing an interesting note: caterpillars are associated with both butterflies and moths, and there are far more moths than butterflies (6-11% butterflies as opposed to 89-94% moths), but often the opposite is believed to be true because moths are nocturnal and butterflies fly about during the day. Taking a mere couple of weeks (sometimes months, a for a few butterflies, years), the process, while some may describe it as "beautiful" due to its magnificence and eventual outcome, it actually can be quite odd, not typically majestic aesthetically and perhaps to some, gross. I won't describe all that takes place (you can read about that here), but yeah, part of the process is icky (I use this elementary term only to further my next point - what Mother Nature is enabling to happen as the butterfly transforms from a caterpillar is nothing short of awesome). When you have the courage to step forward into transformation, to cultivate a life that welcomes contentment, to let go of what is no longer supporting the person you wish and somewhere within you unconsciously or consciously knows you can become, there will be stages that are "icky", uncomfortable, frustrating, doubt-filled and maybe even painful figuratively/emotionally speaking. But that is part of the necessary process. Last weekend, I posted this image on Instagram (see below). For those listening, it is an image of my new maghony bed frame. Complete with a footboard and headboard, at the top of each is a carefully carved butterfly. I call it, not surprisingly, my butterfly bed. As I shared in my Instragam post, it was a find at a secondhand store for a price that was far below what it should have been marked, but this treasure had gone unnoticed for many months and the owner of the shop was eager to move it. Knowing the carpenter, artist is a more apt word, Steve Arment, who is a dear family acquaintance in Wallowa County, I knew a treasure when I found one and welcomed this piece of art into my home tout suite. Much of TSLL's new book Living The Simply Luxurious Life: Making Your Everydays Extraordinary and Becoming Your Best Self) is about the chosen transformation to travel your singular journey in order to attain, and live each day, your best life. A life of contentment, a life of realizing your true potential. And it is a book inspired by my own choosing to step into the stages of transformation. There are countless blog posts, and even books on the process of personal transformation, but it warrants a closer, yet concise look at the realities and the benefits of the process. When I heard the quote shared at the top of this post shared by the author of the wildly successful book and now docu-series Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat Samin Nosrat in the Heat episode, an image of a butterfly struggling to free itself from its cocoon was on the screen. I pressed pause. I rewound and listened again to what she said. I listened again and proceeded to write down the words shared today. Admittedly, she is talking immediately about food, but she could just as well be talking about any change we seek in our own lives. In order to cultivate change, we must create friction which causes heat, which mobilizes the ability for the change we seek to occur. 1.Give yourself permission to become more "There is power in allowing yourself to be known and heard, in owning your unique story, in using your authentic voice. And there's grace in being willing to know and hear others. This, for me, is how we become." —Michelle Obama, in her memoir Becoming Whether it is society or our own limiting thoughts, obstacles of the transformation we know vaguely awaits us should we choose to step forward to change will flash before us repeatedly attempting to thwart any decision to proceed. But you must be daring. You must be brave because as former First Lady Michelle Obama shares in her new memoir and directly in this quote, when you choose to become more, you empower yourself and now have the ability to help others step into their fullest potential as well. 2. Give yourself permission to be content. Sometimes, especially as women, we need to hear that our actions will help others in order to give ourselves permission to do something that will improve our lives and make us more content. But in this particular step, I want to give you permission, and thus for you to give yourself permission, to let yourself be truly content. Each of us is living different lives, each of us has different responsibilities, that is why your journey will be unique and only you will truly know what you can let go of, what you need to remain committed to and what you no longer need to be a part of, but your happiness will spilleth over if it comes from a place of authenticity of an opportunity to improve the world and its contentment. There will always be shamers, guilt-trippers, and fear-mongers to attempt to "put you back into your place", which is why you need to find your support system (TSLL is here for you too!), but first be your own support system and give yourself permission to be content. A better you will help cultivate a better world. 3.Remind yourself of your unique strengths and past successes "By staying in touch with your accomplishments, you build true, authentic confidence to move on to make new things happen. Appreciating your success enables you to take responsibility for your greatness so that your life . . . [is about] finding ways to use your own gifts to make a difference." —Jinny S. Ditzler, author of Your Best Year Yet When we are in the middle of transforming, doubt inevitably creeps in. We begin to wonder if we really do have something the world needs and whether our investment of time and resources will be worth it. In these moments, take time to slow down and remind yourself of both your unique strengths and your past successes - those actions and abilities that inspired you to begin the journey you are currently on. Perhaps you need to check in with that dear friend of yours that is your constant cheerleader if you cannot seem to remember your awesomeness because it is there and once you remember these truths about yourself, a deep breath will emerge, your chin will rise just enough for you to look forward so that you can keep on striving. 4. Understand that constructing a solid foundation begins with instability Your world will feel as though it is shaking at times, unstable, some of the previous strongholds - perhaps financially, perhaps socially, etc.. You will feel emotionally drained and tapped to find an ounce of energy to power through. You may have moments of floods of tears, anger due to disrespect or lack of understanding. Keep your composure in public, seek out those you trust for comfort and reassurance in private, take time to find balance and strength, and know these moments are part of the building a more solid foundation. I was recently watching a segment on Oregon's Public Broadcasting which spotlighted the building of Portland's Japanese Gardens, Oregon Art Beat. And in the segment, the first natural design one sees when they enter the garden before hiking up to the full Japanese natural space are the dry stone walls. The architect explained that this architectural approach of stacking rocks without cement or binder ironically enables the wall to become stronger with each shake of the earth, each shift of the ground beneath it. Why? Because as the earth moves, the rocks begin to settle more and more firmly into their place. The key is to have chosen the pieces carefully when first designing the wall. You are the architect of your life, and so long as you trust your journey, understand your unique gifts (something that is discussed in detail regarding how to do in chapters 8 & 9 of TSLL's new book), with each shake that comes from society, from a critic, from individuals who challenge what you are doing, it will ultimately only strengthen your foundation, but at first, it will feel unstable as it is new. 5. Remain open to opportunities you initially may not recognize Opportunities often take time to materialize and thus for us to recognize as opportunities when they first dance across our paths. Because we are seeking or traveling down a path that is new to us as we have chosen the path of transformation away from our previous existence and toward a new one, opportunities will be, and initially look, different. Much like continuing to date the same type of person, we cannot expect to seize the same type of opportunity over and over again and expect a different result. It seems obvious, but it is hard in practice initially because we have become trained to see opportunities that we now know do not serve us for our new journey. Which is why we must remain open to opportunities that may be unrecognizable initially. How? What I have learned is that opportunities often take time to fully take shape. In fact, we have to do the homework beforehand, take a risk often times and then be patient to see how it will all work out. The most important step is doing our homework. In other words, what investments have the best chance of helping us to attain the outcome we seek. Instead of seeking the option that will give us an outcome quickly, but not the best outcome, we need to be patient and simply let it unfold once we've put forth the effort. Eventually, the opportunity will become clear, but along the way, it will be foreign as we are a new student to this language. This past summer, I spoke often about my trip to France. It was a trip, while not my first, that is most memorable for a long list of reasons. And it was on this trip that a butterfly came so close to my face on multiple occasions it felt surreal. As we sat down for lunch throughout my week at the Provence cooking school, the butterflies would dance down the center of the arced table overlooking the valley in Vaison la Romaine. I would catch the eye of fellow students immediately after it would happen and we would just smile in adoration and disbelief at what we had just seen, no words needed to be exchanged. Of course, I had my own reasons for smiling, much of what is explained here, but it was when I came across my new bed (that I was not shopping for - in fact I was shopping for a round pedestal dining room table that I continue to shop for), that I smiled again spontaneously. If you too are fascinated with butterflies, you will have your own reasons for smiling when you see them as we are each choosing to travel along our own transformative path, but I find my bed to be even more now a place of support and encouragement. And the transformation in my most private sanctuary a welcomed change as a new chapter of sorts begins. It is a curious feeling sharing a creative piece of yourself, in my case, a book which shares many different personal details, with the world. As many readers have coined, it is somewhat like a "book baby". You work on it for years, you read it and reread it and reread it multiple times, but it isn't until it is put out into the world that you feel particular feelings at their most visceral level - vulnerability, hope, relief, just to name a few. The relief is one of emotional expenditure, and perhaps the bed came at the perfect time with its comfort provided because I have slept longer and more deeply in the past two weeks than I have for some time. I am recharging. Heat is created when we choose to take action. The action may not be understood by everyone during the process of transformation, but when you trust your journey, when you understand yourself, when you emerge, you will be strong enough to explain, introduce and share your newly transformed, beautiful self to the world. ~TSLL's New Book is Released! Let's Live Our Best Lives - the Official Release Day - View and Listen to interviews and learn much more about the book in this detailed post. SIMILAR POSTS/EPISODES YOU MIGHT ENJOY: ~Trust the Transition: How to Step Through and Embrace the Change You Seek, episode #225 ~How to Create the Change You Seek ~Why Not . . . Recognize the Stages of Making a Lifestyle Change? Petit Plaisir: ~Parmesan Chicken and Forbidden Rice (aka Black Rice) ~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #233 ~Subscribe to The Simple Sophisticate: iTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio | YouTube | Spotify Sponsors for today's episode: Holly & Tanager, The Professional: Backpack Purse (check out the video below) Visit hollyandtanager.com/SIMPLE Save 15% off your first order with promo code SIMPLE at checkout