Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

Today we're discussing a harder topic than usual--what to do when your friend is in a very unhealthy or even an abusive relationship. It can be extremely difficult as a friend, as opposed to a family member, to know when you can step in to help, or how you can help.I'm grateful to Rachel Katz for sharing her story. She's been on both sides of this equation. Rachel can speak to the frustration of watching a friend stay in a dangerous relationship, and she's been in a toxic relationship herself so she has firsthand experience with what a friend could do to help someone in the same situation.Meet Rachel KatzRachel is a Wellness Embodiment Coach, Nutritional Scientist, Certified Holistic Nutritionist, and Yoga Teacher. She helps women heal on a mind body and soul level so that they can embody true wellness. Her mission is to help you heal your relationships- with food, your body, yourself, & others so you can live your most full life ever!Find Rachel on Instagram, TikTok, and on her website. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.Our sponsor this week: https://www.purewesson.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

I'm encouraging listeners to reach out to some long distance friends and plan a trip! Why? I finally put my money where my mouth is and spent time with out of town friends, and in this solo episode, I'm telling you all about it.Visiting long distance friends requires time and usually a financial commitment, but the rewards are priceless. The planning of these trips and then the actual trip itself, even very short ones, creates shared memories, deepens bonds, and reminds of us the joy of being in the same space. In a world where technology often dictates our interactions, it's crucial to remember the value of face-to-face connections and the impact they have on our lives.More specifically, I'm talking about a trip with college friends to Boulder in this episode and the extra few days I stayed there to spend time with Pam Moore, a dear friend of a decade I had never met in person. The resources I mentioned about Pam Moore and Julie Vick:Pam's podcast: The Real Fit PodcastPam's ebook guide to pitching editors. 7 Pitches That Sold.Julie Vick's book: Babies Don't Make Small Talk (So Why Should I?): The Introvert's Guide to Surviving ParenthoodTwo Videos I made of the trip:TikTok (a little longer)Instagram (very quick!)ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.Our sponsor this week: https://www.purewesson.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Heidi Shertok, the guest, talks about the challenges of being an introvert in an extrovert's world. She also discusses her trailblazing novel featuring an Orthodox Jewish woman. The podcast covers topics such as defining introvert energy, communicating introvert needs to friends, and the role of social media in friendships.

Dr. Lisa Damour is the NYT bestselling author of Untangled, Under Pressure, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers, and the co-host of the Ask Lisa Podcast. On Dear Nina, I focus on adult friendships, but sometimes I touch on teen friendships because teen friend strife is slipping into adult friendships. While it was once expected that teens would experience friendship changes as part of growing up, it now seems making sure teens never feel upset about their social lives is another thing for parents to manage. Lisa's work helps adults understand how much distress to expect in teens' lives and when there's cause for concern. Find Dr. Lisa on Instagram and Twitter.Topics We Covered: (Show notes are HERE)Teens will get left out and leave others. Friend groups seem overly formal to adults these days, but it's a reality for teens. Lisa said, "If your kid has one or two good buddies, leave it alone. It's perfect. If your kid has a large friendship group, do not assume that anyone is going out of their way to cause trouble. It is the nature of those larger groups."In groups of over four, it's impossible to expect that every person will like each other equally. Some people will be closer.If your teen has a few close friends, they have everything they need for a positive social life. Reassure them that we have good data showing that the least stressed kids have one or two good friends.Understanding that mental health has come to be equated with feeling good or relaxed or happy. These are all wonderful things, but they're not what mental health is. Dr. Damour explains that being mentally healthy is about having feelings that fit the circumstance, then managing those feelings, even if those are negative emotions.Learning the difference between uncomfortable and unmanageable.Knowing the difference between kids' discomfort and parents' discomfort. Parents sometime freak out more than their teens about social dynamics.Helping teens make the most of the friendship strife they face by learning how to handle conflict. This will serve them for the rest of ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.Our sponsor this week: https://www.purewesson.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Jill Smokler (Scary Mommy), an old school blogger, reflects on the early days of blogging, discussing the pressure to produce content, the thrill of the first comment, and the intimate connections made with readers and other bloggers. They also delve into the evolution of blogging, the power of vulnerability and community, and the challenges of maintaining online friendships formed through blogging.

Dr. Marisa G Franco, author of instant NYT bestseller Platonic, discusses how to confront friends when they disappoint us and shares advice on handling conflicts. The podcast explores attachment theory in friendships and offers guidance on addressing unsaid concerns. They emphasize the power of responsiveness and the importance of personal growth in friendships. Overall, it's an enlightening conversation about navigating difficult conversations and maintaining strong friendships.

"Monday is Nan. Tuesday is Maryanne. Wednesday is Leslie. Thursday is Lisa. And Friday is Susan. It was an act of love, an act of friendship. . . "Many of us enjoy walking with friends. But the power of walking and friendship is extra inspiring in today's episode. Leslie Hooton, author of three novels and a true inspiration, had to learn to walk multiple times throughout her life because of a stroke she had when she was born and numerous surgeries she's endured since. In this heartwarming episode, Leslie shares how friends each took an assigned day in spring 2020 when her beloved gym closed so that Leslie's muscles would get the essential movement necessary to keep her on her feet and healthy. She still has each walking partner three years later. This conversation is a beautiful testament to the power of human connection and the resilience of the human spirit. Meet Leslie HootonLeslie is the author of three novels. Her most recent book, After Everyone Else, was the winner of an Indie Book Award. Leslie says her best quality is her village of friends. Her second book is dedicated to them. Leslie often remarks that some people have a stroke of luck, she had a stroke at birth. The limited use of her right side and numerous surgeries have allowed Leslie a unique perspective, which she brings to her writing. Leslie uses dictation for her writing and often jokes “I haven’t typed a single word."  You can find more information on Leslie's book on her website and on Instagram.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.Our sponsor this week: https://www.purewesson.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Award-winning journalist, best-selling author, and podcast creator, Jo Piazza, joins me to answer the question---Is texting ruining the art of friendship communication? Together we make the case for old-school phone calls and low-key hangs.We referenced two of Jo's Substack pieces:In Praise of the Low-keyHangI Don't Want to Text AnymoreMeet Jo PiazzaJJo Piazza is a bestselling author, podcast creator, and award-winning journalist. She is the bestselling author of many critically acclaimed novels and nonfiction books including We Are Not Like Them, Charlotte Walsh Likes to Win, The Knockoff, and How to Be Married. A former editor, columnist, and travel writer with Yahoo, Current TV, and the Daily News (New York), her work has also appeared in The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, New York Magazine, Glamour, Elle, Time, Marie Claire, The Daily Beast, and Slate. She holds an undergraduate degree from the University of Pennsylvania in economics and communication, a master’s in journalism from Columbia University, and a master’s in religious studies from New York University. Her latest podcasts are Under the Influence, She Wants More, and Wilder. Her latest co-authored novel with Christine Pride is You Were Always Mine. Find Jo on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.Our sponsor this week: https://www.purewesson.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Daisy Alpert Florin, author of My Last Innocent Year, discusses the lasting influence of college friendships and the impact of the 90s era on deep connections. Topics include choosing the right college environment, the intimacy of college friendships, and the nostalgia-filled atmosphere. They also explore the challenges and transitions of senior year, the significance of college reunions, and the differences between friendships in college and adulthood.

How can we help our teens navigate the complexities of friendships without projecting our own experiences, desires, or traumas onto them? What level of parent involvement is appropriate?In this thought-provoking episode, I spoke to the insightful Stephanie Sprenger to explore the delicate art of guiding our children through the messy world of friendships while recognizing when our own feelings and experiences might be hindering their growth and learning. As parents, we might struggle to find the right balance between protecting our kids and allowing them to learn from their own mistakes. We also covered issues like letting kids choose their friends even while knowing this means other kids are feeling left out.Full show notes are HERE.The anonymous question we referred to is HERE.Meet Stephanie SprengerStephanie Sprenger is a writer, producer, podcaster at The Mother Plus Podcast, and music therapist living in Colorado with her husband, two tween and teen daughters, and two rescue dogs. She is a co-founder and co-editor at The HerStories Project, a writing and publishing community for Gen X women at midlife, and co-producer of Listen To Your Mother Boulder. Learn more about Stephanie's writing and work at Stephanie's website. She's also on Instagram.Topics We Covered:Identifying when we are projecting our own friendship histories, fears, and anxieties onto our kidsWhen and if to talk to other parents when there are issues between the kidsThe tricky balance of guiding our children through the often messy world of friendshipsAllowing teens to learn from their mistakesForgiving kids who hurt our kids for their mistakesThe hard balance of letting kids choose their friends while knowing that means some kids are out there feeling left outWhen to trust that kids have the skills and tools to work through difficult situations, and when to step inThe value of involving mental health professionals, like school counselors and camp staff in helping teens navigate these challenging timesThe importance of not robbing kids of building the resilience necessary to handle the inevitable ups and downs of friendshipsI taught Stephanie about the VSCO appALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.Our sponsor this week: https://www.purewesson.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands