Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

In this powerful episode of Dear Nina, I am joined by bestselling author Harlan Cohen to explore the truth about rejection, risk, and the myths we carry into adulthood about what friendship “should” look like. We dive into the Law of Rejection—a concept that can radically shift how you approach your relationships. Whether you're 18 or 88, accepting that we cannot control how others respond to our desire for friendship will serve you well. Friendship requires some risks, and knowing that rejection comes with the territory will allow you to take those risks.Whether you're always the planner, the first to text, or the one who feels left out of the group chat, this conversation will reframe your perspective and give you permission to stop taking every unmet friendship expectation so personally. Plus, you will love Harlan if you've never heard him before. He's the best, and he provided me a needed wake-up call around my own fears of rejection.TOPICS WE COVERED:Flipping our fears of being left out or let down in friendships into something more empoweringHow to stop testing your friends and start communicatingHarlan's “people, places, patience” formula for building connectionWhy putting yourself in “low-barrier” places is a lifelong strategy for connectionThe pressure we put on friends and ourselves to meet unspoken expectationsWhat to do if you're always the one initiating plansHarlan's full-circle roommate story that will make you smile and remind you that we never know what the other person in our "friendship narrative" is really thinking LINKS & RESOURCES:Harlan’s College Success Coaching Program Best First YearHarlan's episode with his freshman year roommateYou will love Harlan on Instagram and TikTok and YouTube!MEET HARLAN COHEN: Harlan is the New York Times bestselling author of The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into In College and six other titles (over 1 million copies in print). His social media accounts have over 1.5 million followers and he hosts a popular podcast. He is the founder of Best First Year, a college success coaching program for students and parents. Harlan lives in Chicago, Illinois with his wife and three children.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. 🙏 Support the Show:Love what you’re hearing? Share this episode with a friend or leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Every bit helps us bring more meaningful conversations your way.SPECIAL SPONSOR: Get Red PR is a boutique lifestyle agency that understands how smart, well-executed PR strategies offer the most cost-effective way to move markets. Visit getredpr.com!Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/DEARNINAAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

What happens to our friendships when our phones are always within reach for us to "quickly check something" or "quickly answer a text?" It’s time to be honest about how available we are to everyone else while spending time with friends and how these distractions are harming our friendships. (I include myself in "we!") Is anyone else experiencing smart phone fatigue?I spoke with author, Katherine Martinko, whose book Childhood Unplugged and Substack newsletter, The Analog Family, focuses on how to take back our presence, one small shift at a time. This episode isn’t an anti-tech rant—it’s a nuanced conversation about building a life and fostering friendships offline with intentionality. We explore what’s lost when we let phones dominate our social time and what’s gained when we reclaim our attention and presence. All issues I need as much help with as anyone else!TOPICS WE COVERED:Screen time isn't just a kid issue—it's an adult problem, tooWhy undivided attention is one of the most generous gifts in friendshipBuilding a richer, more soul-nourishing life offline is the key to putting your phone down more often.Practical tips for reducing phone use during social gatheringsSmall changes that make a huge differenceWhy 7 minutes into a conversation might be the tipping point for going deeper (if you don’t pick up your phone!)What it really takes to “fix your analog life first”LINKS & RESOURCES:One of my favorite essays by Katherine: “Fix Your Analog Life First: It's a Prerequisite for Curbing Screen Time”Jonathan Haidt’s The Anxious GenerationCal Newport’s work on digital minimalism and deep workSherry Turkle’s Alone TogetherErin Loechner’s The Opt-Out Family MEET KATHERINE MARTINKO: Katherine is a writer, editor, and speaker. She is the author of Childhood Unplugged: Practical Advice to Get Kids Off Screens and Find Balance (2023) and creator of a fast-growing Substack newsletter called The Analog Family. Katherine is a speaker on behalf of Jonathan Haidt's Anxious Generation campaign. She is a regular contributor to the Globe and Mail, Canada’s largest newspaper, and appears regularly on national radio, TV, talk shows, and podcasts, including CBC The National and Global TV. Katherine lives with her family in Ontario, Canada. See her website here.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. 🙏 Support the Show:Love what you’re hearing? Share this episode with a friend or leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Every bit helps us bring more meaningful conversations your way.SPECIAL SPONSOR: Get Red PR is a boutique lifestyle agency that understands how smart, well-executed PR strategies offer the most cost-effective way to move markets. Visit getredpr.com!Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/DEARNINAAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

It's a very special episode of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship dedicated to the much-discussed and debated friendship triangle in White Lotus Season 3 created by Mike White.The friendship trio of Jaclyn, Kate, and Laurie has captivated TV viewers for the last two months. Similarly, Rebekah Jacobs (Dear Nina's assistant producer) and I have been texting and talking between episodes. Now that the season finale has aired, we shared all the lessons we think Jaclyn, Kate, and Laurie imparted on the world. Even their mistakes gave us plenty of friendship advice to ponder.A big point that Rebekah and I agree on: Not all friendship triangles are bad! YES, even this particular trio has us defending friendship triangles. No friendship "shape" is good or bad. How individuals behave creates healthy or unhealthy friendships!WHITE LOTUS INSPIRED FRIENDSHIP ADVICE WE DISCUSSED:Think carefully before sharing information with a friend. (Kate telling Laurie about Valentin)Be vulnerable sooner than you think. (Laurie didn't have to wait until the last night of the trip.)Be direct, not passive-aggressive. And don't assume friends can read your mind.Apologize and accept apologies when they're genuineFriends don't always have to be on the same page about everythingGive your friends grace to mess up/ let some things go Friends are not necessarily mirrors of each otherAllow friends to change and growKnow the difference between gossip vs. genuine care and concernGive old friendships some of the fun, ease, and benefit of the doubt we give fresh, new friendships (Chelsea/Chloe vs. the trio of old friends)Don't a friend to meet every needTruth daggers hurt. You can be honest with your friends without being cruel.LINKS MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE:You're the Only One I Can Tell by Deborah TannenEpisode 136: Your 3-5 Closest FriendsALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. SPECIAL SPONSOR: Get Red PR is a boutique lifestyle agency that understands how smart, well-executed PR strategies offer the most cost-effective way to move markets. Visit getredpr.com!Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/DEARNINAAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

The Dear Nina Friendship Challenge for April is about the sometimes tricky topic of friends' birthdays. The challenge itself is simple and the easiest so far in 2025. I'm encouraging listeners to actively seek out friends' birthdays so you don't have to rely on social media to know the date. Of course the next step is to acknowledge friends on their birthdays, again not only relying solely social media. The rest of the episode explores the emotional complexities surrounding birthdays, comparing how other friends' birthdays get celebrated, and why I believe in planning your own parties. While talking I realized we need a part two of this topic because I introduced many more questions than answers. I'd love to hear your thoughts and if celebrating friends' birthdays and your own brings up any feelings. I definitely shared some! Reach out any time at ninabadzin@gmail.com or anonymously here. Find the past friendship challenges here. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. SPECIAL SPONSOR: Get Red PR is a boutique lifestyle agency that understands how smart, well-executed PR strategies offer the most cost-effective way to move markets. Visit getredpr.com!Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/DEARNINAAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Welcome to Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship. I'm your host, Nina Badzin. I've been writing about friendship for over 10 years and podcasting about it for almost four. This episode on how to start a podcast might not be for you. So, send it to your friend who has been thinking about starting a podcast! I break down the process, explaining each aspect from concept, podcast art, music, format, equipment, recording, editing, hosting your episodes, marketing, realistic expectations for your friends' interest, realistic exceptions for how much a guest will share. All in less than 35 minutes! Links to everything I mentioned in the episode:My podcast strategy sessions: Here you go!Podcast art and episode graphics: Canva.com Basic equipment: Microphone, mic arm, headphones, Equipment I added later: mixer , camera, streaming light Recording, editing, and social media clips: Riverside.fmMy favorite editing software: DescriptSound cleanup: Auphonic.comA hosting suggestion(my first host)---BuzzsproutAnother hosting suggestion (my current host)--RedCircleOther hosting suggestions: Spotify for Creators, Substack ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. SPECIAL SPONSOR: Get Red PR is a boutique lifestyle agency that understands how smart, well-executed PR strategies offer the most cost-effective way to move markets. Visit getredpr.com!Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/DEARNINAAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Your neighborhood community might be the most overlooked place for social connection. However, it’s essential to understand the difference between community relationships and friendships. They are not the same!I’m joined by Seth D. Kaplan, author of FRAGILE NEIGHBORHOODS: Repairing American Society One Zip Code at a Time, to discuss the importance of social health in fostering community connections.We delve into the impact of technology, the decline of neighborhood schools, and policies that impact community disconnection and inequality, while also offering practical steps for individuals and cities to enhance social engagement and rebuild neighborhood ties.In this conversation, Seth Kaplan and I also contrast community relationships with friendships. We discuss the importance of being part of a community, the decay of middle-ring relationships, and the role of participation (showing up!) in fostering a supportive environment. Kaplan shares research along with personal anecdotes and ideas about community engagement. I spent time dwelling on my favorite concept—the gemach—a communal lending system that exemplifies the spirit of cooperation and support.Meet Seth D. KaplanSeth D. Kaplan, a leading expert on fragile states, societies, and communities, is the author of Fragile Neighborhoods: Repairing American Society, One Zip Code at a Time (Little, Brown Spark 2023). He is a Professorial Lecturer in the Paul H. Nitze School of Advanced International Studies (SAIS) at Johns Hopkins University, Senior Adviser for the Institute for Integrated Transitions (IFIT), and consultant to organizations such as the World Bank, U.S. State Department, United States Institute of Peace, and OECD. Find Seth on LinkedIn and on his website.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. SPECIAL SPONSOR: Get Red PR is a boutique lifestyle agency that understands how smart, well-executed PR strategies offer the most cost-effective way to move markets. Visit getredpr.com!Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/DEARNINAAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Many of us enjoy walking with friends for the mental and physical benefits (or could consider starting with the Dear Nina 2025 friendship challenge). However, the power of walking with friends is EXTRA inspiring in today’s episode.Leslie Hooton had to learn to walk multiple times throughout her life because of a stroke she had when she was born and numerous surgeries she's endured since. Leslie shares how neighborhood friends each took an assigned day when her beloved gym closed so that Leslie's muscles would get the essential movement necessary to keep her on her feet and healthy.Leslie shares wisdom on friendship she gained through these walks and through life in general. This is one you don't want to miss if you didn't catch it the first time.Meet Leslie HootonLeslie is the author of three novels. Her most recent book, After Everyone Else, was the winner of an Indie Book Award. Leslie says her best quality is her village of friends. Her second book is dedicated to them. Leslie often remarks that some people have a stroke of luck, she had a stroke at birth. The limited use of her right side and numerous surgeries have allowed Leslie a unique perspective, which she brings to her writing. Leslie uses dictation for her writing and often jokes “I haven’t typed a single word." You can find more information on Leslie's book on her website and on Instagram.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.SPECIAL SPONSOR: Get Red PR is a boutique lifestyle agency that understands how smart, well-executed PR strategies offer the most cost-effective way to move markets. Visit getredpr.com!Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/DEARNINAAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

What if you have lots of friends, but nobody feels like your special confidante or the person who would have your back no matter what? The newest letter spotlight episode comes from a listener who signed off as "Too Many Fish in the Sea." She feels lucky to have cultivated a wide community and plenty of friends, but she doesn't feel like she has super close friends.Joining me to answer the letter is my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs. Rebekah has been working with me for a while, but I wanted to get her on the mic so you can hear why I adore working with her so much. AND we're good friends---newer good friends--with our own friendship story to share.We discussed concrete ways for getting closer to people you already like and creating deeper bonds: increase the frequency of your time together, share good news, be "messy," ask for a favor, change the venue, and become beginners together.MEET REBEKAH JACOBS:Rebekah has been a reading specialist and writing instructor for over 20 years, teaching in Boston, Chicago, DC, and Los Angeles. Currently, she teaches college writing in DC, and her own writing has been featured in Kveller. As assistant producer for Dear Nina, she is passionate about ideation and brainstorming creative concepts. She tries to read 80 books a year and loves TV—though, unlike Nina, cooking and tech are not her strong suit. She lives with her husband, three kids, and a goldendoodle named Peanut.LINKS MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE:Episode #19: with Rebekah Jacobs-- Novels and Memoirs About FriendshipEpisode #62: with Leslie Hooten-- The Friendship of the Weekly Walking PartnersEpisode #173: with Ruchi Koval-- I'm Just Not Into This FriendshipEpisode #126 with Anna Goldfarb-- Is it Time For a Friendship Cleanse?Episode #134 with SC Perot-- Fandom and the Potential for FriendshipAnna's book: Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued ConnectionsRebekah mentioned: The Five Types of Wealth by Sahil Bloom and a Laurie Santos reference to a beautiful mess here from Date Like A Scientist. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.SPECIAL SPONSOR: Get Red PR is a boutique lifestyle agency that understands how smart, well-executed PR strategies offer the most cost-effective way to move markets. Visit getredpr.com!Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/DEARNINAAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

There are local friends and there are “HYPERLOCAL” friends. This month in the Dear Nina community, we’re focusing on hyperlocal friendships—developing new ones and maintaining the ones you already have in your life. I introduce the March friendship challenge in this episode, which of course you can start any day of ANY MONTH. The challenge this month focuses on hyperlocal friendships, emphasizing the significance of proximity in building connections. I share some personal anecdotes and practical tips for engaging with friends in your neighborhood or at least nearby. I’m encouraging listeners to take actionable steps to add this important layer to their social lives. As always, the Dear Nina friendship challenges help you to become a better friend and have better friendships. Stay in touch and let me know how it’s going in the Dear Nina Facebook group, through my newsletter at dearnina.substack.com, or on Instagram at @dearninafriendship.LINKS MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE:Episode #127: January challenge--See a Friend in PersonEpisode #131: February challenge--Start a Ritual with FriendsFragile Neighborhoods by Seth D. KaplanALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.SPECIAL SPONSOR: Get Red PR is a boutique lifestyle agency that understands how smart, well-executed PR strategies offer the most cost-effective way to move markets. Visit getredpr.com!Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/DEARNINAAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

MAKING FRIENDS IN A FANDOM COMMUNITYFandom, especially very enthusiastic fandom, can provide community, belonging, and friendship. In episode #134 of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, I'm joined by Vanderbilt professor, lawyer, author, and joy enthusiast, SC Perot, who shares her story of rediscovering joy after a devastating divorce, highlighting how her newfound interest in Harry Styles and the community surrounding his concerts provided a much-needed escape and a way to connect with people who wanted to discuss something other than divorce. A formerly-casual fan of Harry Styles, SC ended up attending 17 Harry Styles concerts in five countries!SC and I discuss her memoir Styles of Joy: A Feel-Good Framework for Rediscovering Joy (with a Twist!), which encompass her study of joy, the importance of being open to new experiences, the power of shared interests in fostering new friendships, the particular qualities of emotional generosity and uncomplicated friendships in fan communities.This conversation highlights the significance of community and the joy that comes from the deep love of a musician, team, book series, or anything where a fan community forms. Ultimately, all friends start as strangers, and fan communities are a great place to bond with strangers over a shared passion.MEET SC PEROTSarah Catherine "SC" Perot was born and raised in Dallas, Texas, and currently lives in Nashville, Tennessee. She is a proud graduate of Vanderbilt University and Stanford Law School, where she earned a Juris Doctor degree. After practicing law, she pivoted during the pandemic to follow a longtime desire to teach. She is presently an Adjunct Faculty member at her alma mater, Vanderbilt University, where she teaches in the Human and Organizational Development department. The running through line of her varied career and life is a steadfast love for people and storytelling. Find her on Instagram @scperot.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.SPECIAL SPONSOR: Get Red PR is a boutique lifestyle agency that understands how smart, well-executed PR strategies offer the most cost-effective way to move markets. Visit getredpr.com!Our Sponsors:* Check out Armoire and use my code DEARNINA for a great deal: https://www.armoire.style* Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/DEARNINAAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands