Seeing Death Clearly

Send us a textIn this episode, I welcome back Hospice Chaplain Hank Dunn.  We dive into a crucial yet often misunderstood topic—artificial hydration, nutrition, and voluntary stopping of eating and drinking (VSED) at the end of life. We explore how feeding tubes work, when they are beneficial, and when they may prolong suffering. Hank shares stories of patients who regained the ability to eat, those who lived independently with feeding tubes, and others in vegetative states where continued artificial nutrition raised ethical concerns. He also touches on the history of feeding tubes, advancements in medicine, and how pop culture—like Grey’s Anatomy—portrays these issues.Seeing Death Clearly Ep 60 “How to Make Hard Choices at the End of Life with Chaplain Hank Dunn https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/episodes/14879559  www.hankdunn.com“Hank’s Deep Thoughts” https://www.youtube.com/@hankdunn6304 https://www.instagram.com/hospicechaplainhankhttps://www.facebook.com/hank.dunn.9 hank@hankdunn.comArticle on “Minimal Comfort Feeding”https://www.jpsmjournal.com/article/S0885-3924(24)01116-3/fulltextThe “dementia” advance directive from End of Life Choices New York: https://endoflifechoicesny.org/directives/dementia-directive/“VSED Resources Northwest” at this link: https://vsedresources.com/Voluntarily Stopping Eating anSupport the showSupport the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription, any amount large or small help to keep the podcast advertisement free. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast. I appreciate the support, and it helps get the word out to more people who could benefit from hearing the podcast. Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life. You can connect with me on my website, as well as all major social media platforms. jill@endoflifeclarity.com Website www.endoflifeclarity.comInstagramFacebook Facebook group End of Life Clarity CircleLinkedInTikTok

Send us a textSandra Doyle, author of My Life at the Cemetery: It's Not as Dead as You Think, shares fascinating and unexpected stories from her years working in a cemetery. Her book features 88 captivating tales, ranging from heartwarming to shocking, each offering a glimpse into the lives and emotions of those left behind. Whether readers laugh, cry, or shake their heads in disbelief, every story provides a unique perspective on life, death, and everything in between.While revisiting old notes and obituary records, Sandra realized she had a wealth of stories that needed to be told. A firm believer that every life has a story, she carefully changed names to protect privacy while ensuring the events remained true to life.For Sandra, working at the cemetery was more than a job—it was a calling. She witnessed raw human emotions, from deep grief and enduring love to family conflicts so intense that law enforcement sometimes had to step in. Other stories were just as surprising in their own way.Through it all, she emphasizes that while bodies may rest in cemeteries, the spirits of the departed remain connected to their loved ones. Sandra firmly believes in the presence of the spirit world, sharing accounts of widows sensing their late spouses or receiving messages in dreams. Her own experiences after losing her husband only strengthened her conviction that love transcends death.In her interview, Sandra captures the beauty, chaos, and unexpected moments of life in a cemetery, reminding us that even in death, life’s stories continue to unfold.https://www.optimist.org/https://www.facebook.com/sandy.doyle.393https://www.amazon.com/My-Life-Cemetery-Spiritual-JourneySupport the showSupport the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription, any amount large or small help to keep the podcast advertisement free. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast. I appreciate the support, and it helps get the word out to more people who could benefit from hearing the podcast. Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life. You can connect with me on my website, as well as all major social media platforms. jill@endoflifeclarity.com Website www.endoflifeclarity.comInstagramFacebook Facebook group End of Life Clarity CircleLinkedInTikTok

Send us a textIn this episode, Annie Sklaver Orenstein shares her personal journey of grief after losing her brother, Ben, in Afghanistan 15 years ago. After his death, Annie found little support for siblings, so she wrote Always a Sibling: The Forgotten Mourner's Guide to Grief, a book addressing the unique pain of losing a sibling. She discusses how there were no resources that resonated with her—most grief books focus on parents, spouses, or children, not siblings. As she researched and interviewed other bereaved siblings, she discovered patterns in their experiences that mirrored her own.Annie talks about how, in the immediate aftermath of Ben's death, her parents were devastated, and she was left trying to navigate her grief while supporting them. She recalls a deeply moving moment when soldiers arrived to inform her mother of Ben’s death. The soldiers sat quietly with her mother in the kitchen, offering her their presence, which Annie believes was an act of deep compassion.Through her research, Annie found that surviving siblings often feel invisible in the grieving process. Many try to protect their parents from additional pain by hiding their own sorrow. This dynamic creates a gap where siblings bottle up their grief, leading to long-term emotional strain. Annie’s work also reveals that society often questions the legitimacy of sibling grief, asking if the siblings were “close,” as though that should determine the validity of their loss.Ultimately, Annie’s book serves as a resource for those grieving the loss of a sibling, offering validation for their pain and helping them feel less isolated. Whether or not siblings were close, their grief is real, and it’s time we recognized it.https://www.instagram.com/anniesklaverorensteinhttps://www.annieorenstein.com/Support the showSupport the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription, any amount large or small help to keep the podcast advertisement free. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast. I appreciate the support, and it helps get the word out to more people who could benefit from hearing the podcast. Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life. You can connect with me on my website, as well as all major social media platforms. jill@endoflifeclarity.com Website www.endoflifeclarity.comInstagramFacebook Facebook group End of Life Clarity CircleLinkedInTikTok

Send us a textTash Ritz joins the conversation from Sydney, where she reflects on her global journey, growing up in New Zealand after being born in South Africa. With over 14 years of experience working in social enterprises, she has helped founders build businesses focused on social impact and environmental sustainability. Most recently, she authored the book Souling, a deeply personal exploration of self-discovery and spiritual growth.She explains the concept of social enterprises in Australia, where for-profit businesses integrate meaningful impact beyond financial success. These companies work in areas such as waste reduction in fashion, food security, and supporting vulnerable populations, demonstrating that profit and purpose can coexist.Tash shares her earliest memory of death, recalling the loss of a beloved family friend at the age of three. This experience, combined with being raised by a midwife mother, fostered an open dialogue about life and death in her household. As a Jewish woman, she has experienced the unique traditions surrounding death in her culture, where the deceased are cared for and buried swiftly. She contrasts this with the Māori practice of tangi, where open caskets and communal mourning create a powerful expression of grief. Tash discusses how her understanding of grief has evolved. She reflects on the Western tendency to suppress emotions, which she believes can manifest in the body as illness. She emphasizes the importance of movement, sound, and somatic practices like yoga to process grief, highlighting that healing is not just mental but also physical and energetic.Tash explores the idea that death is not only about the end of life but also the shedding of old identities, beliefs, and experiences. She finds inspiration in Eastern traditions that embrace transformation and renewal. Acknowledging the value of both medical and holistic approaches to mental health, she advocates for a blended path to healing—one that includes therapy, medication when needed, and alternative practices to help emotions move through the body.https://souling.au/Support the showSupport the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription, any amount large or small help to keep the podcast advertisement free. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast. I appreciate the support, and it helps get the word out to more people who could benefit from hearing the podcast. Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life. You can connect with me on my website, as well as all major social media platforms. jill@endoflifeclarity.com Website www.endoflifeclarity.comInstagramFacebook Facebook group End of Life Clarity CircleLinkedInTikTok

Send us a textIn this episode, we are joined by Daniel and Patrick Lazour, the creators of Nightside Songs, and Taibi Magar, the director of its Philadelphia production. Nightside Songs is more than a musical—it’s an immersive and communal experience that explores caregiving, illness, death, and the end-of-life journey. Audiences actively participate by singing, transforming each performance into a shared ritual rather than a traditional stage production.The idea for Nightside Songs began in 2019. Originally conceived as a book musical, the Lazours struggled to capture the depth of the subject. Their experiences with palliative care and end-of-life conversations led them to rethink their approach, shaping a production that blends music, storytelling, and communal participation.Unlike a traditional musical with a fixed structure, Nightside Songs is fluid and ever-changing. The Lazours wrote and refined numerous songs, adapting them through rehearsal and live performance. Each show responds to the audience’s energy, making every experience unique and deeply personal. This adaptability creates a space where audiences can connect with themes of grief and mortality in an intimate and meaningful way.At its heart, Nightside Songs is both a theatrical event and a collective act of remembrance. It brings people together to confront universal experiences—illness, loss, and caregiving—while fostering connection and healing. The cast, a mix of longtime collaborators and new voices, delivers powerful performances that resonate across all backgrounds. In a world where conversations about death are often avoided, this production offers a rare and cathartic space to engage with these realities.https://philadelphiatheatrecompany.org/night-side-songs/https://philadelphiatheatrecompany.org/nsstour/Support the showSupport the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription, any amount large or small help to keep the podcast advertisement free. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast. I appreciate the support, and it helps get the word out to more people who could benefit from hearing the podcast. Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life. You can connect with me on my website, as well as all major social media platforms. jill@endoflifeclarity.com Website www.endoflifeclarity.comInstagramFacebook Facebook group End of Life Clarity CircleLinkedInTikTok

Send us a textIn this episode, we explore memorial forests with Gillian Nye. Gillian shares her six years of experience helping families create meaningful, conservation-focused memorials through Better Place Forests. Better Place Forests offers a natural alternative to traditional cemeteries, allowing families to choose a memorial tree where ashes are placed beneath the soil. The process is guided by ecological principles, mixing ashes with forest soil to support decomposition while preserving the health of the trees. Families can select their tree in person or virtually, with options for personalizing the memorial experience.Gillian describes how these forests, ranging from 40 to 180 acres, are minimally developed to maintain their natural beauty. Trails, welcoming spaces, and simple amenities make them accessible while honoring the environment. Each tree is tagged for identification, ensuring families can return to visit and connect with their loved one’s memorial.Memorial ceremonies vary widely, reflecting the unique wishes of each family. From singing songs and sharing poetry to incorporating personal items like Tibetan bells, these gatherings are deeply personal and often include meaningful rituals. Gillian highlights the beauty of adding dried flowers to the ashes and soil mixture, a touch that enhances the sensory experience of the ceremony.She recounts touching stories, such as families recognizing their chosen tree from online photos or honoring loved ones by placing ashes together beneath a single tree. These moments, she explains, are a testament to the emotional connection people form with their memorial trees.Better Place Forests also ensures long-term access to memorial trees by registering deeds with local counties. Families can authorize multiple ash placements under a single tree, accommodating future memorials. Gillian emphasizes the flexibility of the process, allowing families to hold back small amounts of ashes for other purposes or rituals.This episode offers a heartfelt look at how Better Place Forests creates spaces for reflection, healing, and connection to nature, transforming end-of-life planning into a meaningful and personalized experience.https://www.betterplaceforests.com/https://www.facebook.com/betterplaceforestsSupport the showSupport the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription, any amount large or small help to keep the podcast advertisement free. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast. I appreciate the support, and it helps get the word out to more people who could benefit from hearing the podcast. Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life. You can connect with me on my website, as well as all major social media platforms. jill@endoflifeclarity.com Website www.endoflifeclarity.comInstagramFacebook Facebook group End of Life Clarity CircleLinkedInTikTok

Send us a textBrandon Zimmerman shares the fascinating history and challenges of Mount Vernon Cemetery, a hidden gem in North Philadelphia. Established in 1856, this 28-acre cemetery became a predominantly German burial ground, home to over 33,000 graves. Despite its historical significance, Mount Vernon has faced decades of neglect, transforming into an overgrown, derelict site. Today, the cemetery is an ecological marvel, with wildlife like deer, foxes, and native birds thriving amidst invasive overgrowth. Brandon highlights Mount Vernon’s potential as a green space for the surrounding Strawberry Mansion neighborhood, an area in need of accessible natural spaces. Brandon hopes to reconnect the cemetery with the local community, fostering inclusivity and turning it into a space that serves as both a historical landmark and a neighborhood asset. Listeners will gain insight into Mount Vernon’s rich past, its present challenges, and the efforts to restore its dignity while embracing its wild, natural beauty. The Mount Vernon Cemetery interment cards, a vital historic resource, were thought lost until a second, incomplete set was discovered in 2023. These 30,000+ cards, now being transcribed and digitized, are the only reliable means of locating burials at MVC and hold immense genealogical and historical value. The Friends of Mount Vernon Cemetery are seeking $5,000 to complete this critical initiative, which will preserve this information for descendants, property restoration, and community engagement.  100% of your donation goes directly to the cards being transcribed.  I hope you will consider donating after you listen to this episode.https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-mount-vernon-cemeterys-interment-card-initiativehttps://www.instagram.com/mtvernoncemeterySupport the showSupport the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription, any amount large or small help to keep the podcast advertisement free. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast. I appreciate the support, and it helps get the word out to more people who could benefit from hearing the podcast. Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life. You can connect with me on my website, as well as all major social media platforms. jill@endoflifeclarity.com Website www.endoflifeclarity.comInstagramFacebook Facebook group End of Life Clarity CircleLinkedInTikTok

Send us a textMarie Miller, a medical medium and theta healing instructor based near Columbus, Ohio, shares her fascinating journey into the spiritual and healing realms. Her experiences began after a near-death experience as a child, which opened her perception to the spirit world. Growing up in a small town of 250 people, she often sensed when someone had passed away before others knew, a skill she credits to her natural connection with the unseen. Her childhood was enriched by the presence of her grandmother’s spirit, a relationship she didn’t realize was extraordinary until later conversations with her mother.Marie began encountering a wider variety of spiritual phenomena as her abilities evolved. For Marie, every challenge presents a valuable lesson, and she believes that life’s difficulties often arise to teach us virtues or help us grow in unexpected ways.Marie’s path led her to energy healing after discovering her sensitivity to Western medicine. As a medical medium, she uses theta healing to connect with a person’s body on a deep level, identifying the root causes of physical and emotional ailments. Unlike traditional medicine, which often treats symptoms, Marie focuses on uncovering unresolved traumas and emotions that manifest as disease. Through guided meditation and a theta brainwave state, she helps clients release stuck energy and facilitates their natural healing processes.Marie emphasizes the transformative power of self-discovery in healing. Rather than simply providing answers, she guides clients to uncover their subconscious beliefs, fostering deeper, more lasting change. She believes understanding the subconscious is key to addressing life’s challenges and that anyone can learn these techniques with practice. Teaching theta healing is a significant part of her work, and she finds joy in empowering others to heal themselves, often working herself out of a job in the process.Her insights into theta healing draw on ancient practices, modern techniques, and her unique life experiences. She explains that achieving a theta brainwave state, once a lengthy process for our ancestors, can now be learned quickly with proper training. This state allows access to the subconscious, where healing and transformation occur. Marie’s mission is to demystify these practices and make them accessible to anyone seeking to understand themselves and heal on a profound level.houseofkellen.comFacebook.comSupport the showSupport the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription, any amount large or small help to keep the podcast advertisement free. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast. I appreciate the support, and it helps get the word out to more people who could benefit from hearing the podcast. Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life. You can connect with me on my website, as well as all major social media platforms. jill@endoflifeclarity.com Website www.endoflifeclarity.comInstagramFacebook Facebook group End of Life Clarity CircleLinkedInTikTok

Send us a textPenny Smith, widely known as Hospice Nurse Penny on TikTok, brings over 20 years of experience as a nationally certified hospice nurse and a unique perspective shaped by her late start in nursing at age 40. Now 62, Penny embraces the wisdom of aging, especially in her work with end-of-life care. During the pandemic, she found her voice on TikTok, where her heartfelt stories about hospice care resonated with millions. In this episode, Penny opens up about her journey with death anxiety, which once left her sleepless in her 30s. She shares how confronting her fears through open discussions about death transformed her perspective and how these conversations can improve not only the end-of-life experience but also the quality of life. Penny educates her audience on the realities of hospice care, dispelling common myths and highlighting the choices available to those facing terminal illness. She shares poignant stories from her career, such as helping a hesitant patient reconsider his full-code status through compassionate dialogue. She also critiques the unrealistic portrayals of hospice in media, advocating for honest communication between patients, families, and healthcare providers. She aims to empower individuals to approach death with clarity, dignity, and peace through her work.The conversation also delves into the fascinating topic of deathbed visions, often dismissed as hallucinations but frequently experienced by lucid individuals weeks before death. Penny underscores the importance of designating a trusted decision-maker and discussing end-of-life wishes to alleviate family stress during critical moments. She reflects on societal resistance to discussing death, sharing stories of patients and families grappling with these realities.Listeners will hear about Penny's journey as a social media advocate, including the challenges of online criticism and the overwhelming support from her 2+ million followers. She candidly discusses her sobriety journey and how it underscores her commitment to authenticity and growth. Penny also previews her upcoming book, releasing January 14th, which she hopes will inspire readers to embrace mortality and live fuller lives. https://www.tiktok.com/@hospicenursepennyhttps://www.instagram.com/hospicenursepenny/Support the showSupport the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription, any amount large or small help to keep the podcast advertisement free. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast. I appreciate the support, and it helps get the word out to more people who could benefit from hearing the podcast. Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life. You can connect with me on my website, as well as all major social media platforms. jill@endoflifeclarity.com Website www.endoflifeclarity.comInstagramFacebook Facebook group End of Life Clarity CircleLinkedInTikTok

Send us a textThis episode celebrates a significant milestone: two years of our podcast! Stephen and I reflect on the journey, exploring our growth, challenges, and the remarkable connections we’ve made along the way. A highlight of our conversation is our annual tradition of reviewing the past year, made even more special this time by recording in the same room, creating an intimate and dynamic exchange.I share my deep gratitude for the inspiring guests who’ve brought their expertise and personal stories to the show. We reminisce about our decades-long friendship. Our shared history—college, running a bakery, and raising children—has shaped our exploration of aging, letting go, and embracing new phases in life.We discuss the importance of community and stepping outside comfort zones. I reflect on how accepting mortality has helped me cherish life’s simple moments and live more authentically. Together, we explore the challenges of "cruise control" living and the courage it takes to grow beyond habits that no longer serve, emphasizing the rewards of meaningful connection and self-discovery.I open up about my experience as a death doula, sharing how my work extends beyond sitting with those at the end of life. I candidly discuss the logistical and emotional demands of my role, balancing professional responsibilities with family life, and finding creative outlets—like designing death-positive apparel—to sustain my mission. Throughout the episode, I reflect on how contemplating mortality has shaped my decision-making and deepened my appreciation for life. We delve into navigating life’s transitions and the importance of aligning care decisions with personal values. I share my journey as a podcaster and entrepreneur, recounting my growth over the past five years, from overcoming self-doubt to launching a successful podcast and death-positive apparel line.https://www.endoflifeclarity.com/storeSupport the showSupport the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription, any amount large or small help to keep the podcast advertisement free. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast. I appreciate the support, and it helps get the word out to more people who could benefit from hearing the podcast. Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life. You can connect with me on my website, as well as all major social media platforms. jill@endoflifeclarity.com Website www.endoflifeclarity.comInstagramFacebook Facebook group End of Life Clarity CircleLinkedInTikTok