Seeing Death Clearly Always a Sibling: The Forgotten Mourner with Annie Sklaver Orenstein
In this episode, Annie Sklaver Orenstein shares her personal journey of grief after losing her brother, Ben, in Afghanistan 15 years ago. After his death, Annie found little support for siblings, so she wrote Always a Sibling: The Forgotten Mourner's Guide to Grief, a book addressing the unique pain of losing a sibling. She discusses how there were no resources that resonated with her—most grief books focus on parents, spouses, or children, not siblings. As she researched and interviewed other bereaved siblings, she discovered patterns in their experiences that mirrored her own.
Annie talks about how, in the immediate aftermath of Ben's death, her parents were devastated, and she was left trying to navigate her grief while supporting them. She recalls a deeply moving moment when soldiers arrived to inform her mother of Ben’s death. The soldiers sat quietly with her mother in the kitchen, offering her their presence, which Annie believes was an act of deep compassion.
Through her research, Annie found that surviving siblings often feel invisible in the grieving process. Many try to protect their parents from additional pain by hiding their own sorrow. This dynamic creates a gap where siblings bottle up their grief, leading to long-term emotional strain. Annie’s work also reveals that society often questions the legitimacy of sibling grief, asking if the siblings were “close,” as though that should determine the validity of their loss.
Ultimately, Annie’s book serves as a resource for those grieving the loss of a sibling, offering validation for their pain and helping them feel less isolated. Whether or not siblings were close, their grief is real, and it’s time we recognized it.
https://www.instagram.com/anniesklaverorenstein
https://www.annieorenstein.com/
Support the show financially by doing a paid monthly subscription, any amount large or small help to keep the podcast advertisement free. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2092749/support
Subscribe to Seeing Death Clearly and leave a 5-star review if you are enjoying the podcast.
I appreciate the support, and it helps get the word out to more people who could benefit from hearing the podcast. Don’t forget to check out my free workbook Living a Better Life.
You can connect with me on my website, as well as all major social media platforms.
jill@endoflifeclarity.com
Website www.endoflifeclarity.com
Instagram
Facebook
Facebook group End of Life Clarity Circle
LinkedIn
TikTok