Productive Flourishing Podcast

Courtney Carver returns to the show today to talk about some of the ideas in her new book, Soul Simplicity: How Living with Less Can Lead to So Much More. Many people think of minimalism and un-stuffing as merely a way to get rid of stuff, but there is actually a very important tie between how much excess stuff we own and pursue, and how much room we’re making for the things that matter. Charlie and Courtney explore these relationships, and provide a handy way to get back to the heart of what matters.Key Takeaways:[3:00] - Courtney received her wake-up call when she was diagnosed with MS, and that was the start of her changing her entire life. A little over a year after her diagnosis and she began making her initial changes, she realized the common thread of all those changes was simplicity.[5:07] - It seems that most life changes are based on some sort of wake-up call or pattern interrupt. Some of the ones Courtney often hears about are health scares, losing a family member, or the beginning or end of a relationship. They are usually pretty major wake-up calls, and sometimes it takes something big because we don’t always pay attention to or act on the little things.[6:55] - Minimalism is so often focused on stuff, but it’s broader than that. For Courtney, it was about figuring out how she was going to live well with MS. All her research came back to eliminating stress. She started with her diet, and then focused on debt. Shopping gave her an outlet blow off steam, but it was leading to more debt and more clutter, both of which led to more stress. Letting go of her stuff relieved more stress than she imagined, because she was getting rid of things that didn’t add value to her life.[9:40] - The shopping high (or whichever outlet you choose) can placate us into thinking we’ve done something about whatever problem we’re trying to escape, but the problem is still going to be there. Courtney talks about the myth of ownership, and how we feel like we need to buy a certain thing so we’ll be a certain type of person. We also shop to relieve boredom.[13:15] - In times when Charlie has ended up in “accidental consumerism,” he takes time to evaluate why he’s making the purchase and make sure he’s not acting on a stress stimulus. This extends to any of the vices we turn to when we’re bored or frustrated or stressed. How can we be curious about why we’re bored and what might make us less bored?[15:40] - It is okay to be stressed or frustrated or bored. It’s definitely okay to feel our feelings, but one reason that change doesn’t stick is because we’re not willing to feel uncomfortable. Charlie finds that as people, we are selectively uncomfortable about certain types of discomfort. There are some situations where we’re okay being uncomfortable, and other situations that we can’t be in. It is important to identify what types of things make you uncomfortable, and not use discomfort as excuse to miss out on an opportunity for growth.[19:17] - Sometimes it’s hard to get ourselves to do the things that are going to make us better, like working out or meditating. Once we do them, we usually don’t feel worse after. Courtney’s rule is just to show up - get to the gym or the place where you meditate - just make the effort to show up and go from there.[24:40] - Courtney has a practice/exercise to help people figure out where to start or what to let go of. She closes her eyes and literally puts her hands over her heart, as if she’s holding it. From there, she either listens or she asks questions - as she listens for the response, sometimes she writes them down or engages further. The message she gives herself is that she trusts herself and has confidence in her decisions. This exercise gives you permission not to be in your head.[28:50] - Many people get stuck when they look ahead from where they are now to a future state that’s dramatically different from where they are. Focusing on small steps that will push you closer to the future state can help with progress. Small, tiny changes make for huge, huge changes.[31:42] - Busyness is just as pervasive as clutter in terms of stress and discontent. Often times we try to prove who we are by what we do, sometimes in a way that has negative consequences. This business can affect relationships or leave us feeling overcommitted and overwhelmed. It is important to be intentional about how we’re spending our time.[36:55] - We often get caught in the busyness trap because we conflate hard work and value - we think if we work harder we’re a more valuable person, and a lot of times this isn’t true. You may reach a point where you realize that working harder isn’t going to solve the problems, but is contributing or creating more.[38:01] - As Charlie mentioned, it’s smart to schedule our non-work events with the same intention as our work times. If you’ve set aside time to spend with family, it’s important to focus on the family, rather than than doing work stuff. This allows you to figure out what it means for you to be fully engaged.[44:47] Courtney’s invitation to you is to try the practice of putting your hands on your heart. Take five minutes and sit down and put your hands on your heart; take some deep breaths, and see how that feels.Mentioned in This Episode:Productive FlourishingCourtney CarverSoulful Simplicity, by Courtney CarverProductive Flourishing Podcast Episode 92: Be More with Less with Courtney Carver This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

Today’s guest, Penelope Trunk, was diagnosed with Asperger’s when she was 37 years old. She joins Charlie on the show today to discuss how and why women with autism are massively under-diagnosed. They also discuss how schools aren’t built to foster creativity. Penelope is the founder of four start-ups, and has been named one of the Top 10 Most Influential Women in Tech and the World’s Most Influential Career Coach.Key Takeaways:[2:52] - Women with Asperger’s are massively under-diagnosed. Part of it is because parents naturally assume that their kids are fine, but the other part of it is that there is a stereotype of what it is to have Asperger’s, and women don’t generally fit the stereotype. She goes on to explain some of the characteristics of this condition, how they can be overlooked, and some of the damaging effects of not diagnosing it.[5:07] - The suicide rate for girls with Asperger’s is very high, and the signposts for Asperger’s in girls can be dangerous. Having an eating disorder is a signpost in girls, whereas being grades ahead in math is a signpost for boys. Many girls don’t get diagnosed until their 20’s or 30’s.[6:42] - Both autism and Asperger’s have to do with how people read social cues, but people with Asperger’s are more high-functioning. People with Asperger’s have a high IQ, and this allows them to “skate by” in social and educational settings.[7:32] - Penelope didn’t know she has Asperger’s until her son was diagnosed with autism when he was two years old. Autism is genetic, so if your child has autism, one of the parents do too. Looking back, Penelope had already been through everything that was common for women with Asperger’s, but people were not used to putting it all together.[11:01] - Penelope talks about her success as a bit of an anomaly. Since she thinks and functions like a guy, she was not distracted by things most women tend to get distracted by.[15:07] - Charlie and Penelope talk about some of the opposing viewpoints that are sending mixed messages to girls as they are growing up about what they can do and what they can be, especially when having children comes into the picture.[18:51] - When looking at statistics, Penelope says we can only look at women who have a real choice. The statistics find that generally when women have a choice, they choose to stay home and raise their kids rather than go to work.[21:35] - Penelope and Charlie share their viewpoints on the success of creative people in school. Creative people may not always approach right and wrong answers the same way, but that doesn’t mean they can’t understand the benefits of doing well in school in terms of right and wrong answers. They also discuss economic mobility as a byproduct of education.[24:50] - The economic mobility that the education system could be giving is getting lower. One of the discrepancies in the system is that minorities tend to have to stifle their creativity whereas rich students benefit from ignoring school and continuing to be creative.[29:45] - School doesn’t teach and foster creativity; it’s structured for compliance, not creativity. While the origins of our education system are controversial, they do help to explain some of the systems that are currently in place. The purpose of education is different in rural areas versus urban areas.[35:50] - Most of the motivation for education for our children is generational. Most parents teach what worked for them, so they send them to school so they can get an education that will allow them to get a degree and get a job.[43:02] - The traditional education system does not do a good job of cultivating creativity as much as it does compliance, predictability and regularity. There are different ways people think about creativity, and while there are alternative paths for creatives, they aren’t quite as well known yet.[45:18] - Charlie and Penelope discuss the interesting phenomenon of creative parents who send their kids to school because they think they can’t get their creative work done if their kids are home.[52:13] - The conversation circles back around to Asperger’s - one way to tell if someone has Asperger’s is that they can’t let topics go. Penelope is very passionate about her beliefs, and Charlie and Penelope discuss how because of Asperger’s, she may be less sensitive to some of the alternative viewpoints of others.[56:45] - Penelope expresses some of her frustrations with dealing with Asperger’s, but coming from a place of understanding from both parties can help foster productive and enlightening conversation. It’s important to be empathetic to different social pressures and the way someone else understands the world.[59:41] - Penelope’s invitation/challenge is that listeners go read her blog and then talk to her!Mentioned in This Episode:Productive FlourishingPenelope TrunkPenelope Trunk: Blog This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

Both Charlie and Angela work as coaches. In this episode, Angela and Charlie talk about how to know when it’s time to work with a coach or a consultant. The conversation gets to the heart of some of the ways that we don’t allow ourselves to get the help and support that we might be needing.Key Takeaways:[2:28] - What Charlie and Angela often find in their work is that people will put the support they need further down the pipe. One of the common things people say is that they’ll get the help or support they need after they finish a list of certain things. Many times, this list of things is something a coach could help you do faster or more effectively.[5:23] - Angela notices that clients often express their excitement to work with her, but they say they have too much going on at the time. Again, these things are usually the exact things a coach or consultant could help with.[7:07] - It almost feels like people wait to work with a coach because they feel like they need to diagnose themselves, and heal themselves or make themselves well before they go to the doctor. Too often, Angela and Charlie cross paths with people who haven’t given themselves the permission to invest in themselves to get the support that they need.[8:46] - The busier you are, the more important it is that you have to make better decisions. When you’re busy, you’re more likely to continue to make easy decisions that don’t solve the problem, or participate in patterns that keep things going that aren’t actually conducive to making a change. Sometimes, the best time to talk with someone is during the hard parts of life - it may not be the best decision to wait for things to slow down.[11:03] - For Charlie, it’s about energy and attention. If your energies and attentions are focused on taking care of someone else or a rough situation, it may not be the best time to work with a consultant. In general though, if there’s a lot going on, chances are there will continue to be a lot going on. So that may not be the best indicator of whether you could benefit from a coach or not.[14:55] - One thing to consider is that is it more likely that you and whoever you work with will be able to co-create something to help you get out of a busy cycle, or can you figure it out faster on your own? Usually, working with a coach or consultant will allow you to figure it out faster. What would it be worth to you to have the trouble issue solved?[18:12] - Some people think they already know what they need to do to get moving in the right direction. Charlie’s question to them would be how long have you known that? If you know what you need to do, and you’re not doing it, ask yourself why. Additionally, just because you think you know what needs to be done, doesn’t mean you’re right. Having someone hold you accountable for those things can be helpful.[22:11] - It can be useful to commit to people that you’re going to do something. A good coach will ask you about these commitments, rather than just letting them go. It can be a delicate situation because you don’t want to end up in a situation where you’re frustrated to meet with your coach or consultant because they’re going to grill you about those commitments.[24:03] - Sometimes a coach will challenge you to do more than you would on your own. It’s important to make sure this is something that resonates with you. Make sure that the goals are your own, and the coach is helping you do what you already want or know you need to do.[26:26] - Angela leaves us with these thoughts: Whatever the facet of life, if there is a goal and future you see for yourself that is important to you, invest in yourself. Spend the time on yourself like you would for other people.[27:45] - Charlie leaves us with these thoughts: How is what you’re doing working for you? If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’re going to keep getting what you’re getting. At what real point in the world will you make a different decision and go about something in a new way?Mentioned in This Episode:Productive FlourishingLeave a Review This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

Today’s jam is all about stepping out of your comfort zone: why it’s challenging, how we avoid it, and how people do it successfully. Our guest, Andy Molinsky, will also share some of the surprising revelations of his research findings. Andy is the author of the books Reach and Global Dexterity, and is a professor at Brandeis University International Business School.Key Takeaways:[2:30] - Andy became interested in the topic of getting out of your comfort zone after he wrote Global Dexterity, and realized people were applying the information about acting outside of their cultural comfort zone to stepping outside of their comfort zone, period. He had been doing academic research on the topic previously as well, and it’s been something he’s struggled with personally.[4:12] - Charlie and Andy discuss Andy’s educational background, and how he went from organizational behavior to focusing more on personal behavior. Andy also talks about his academic writing versus his writing for popular audiences, and how that was a discovery about his own comfort zone.[12:30] - Some of the psychological challenges to stepping outside of your comfort zone are: authenticity, likeability, competence, resentment, and morality. There’s a wide range of context and situations where people encounter these pain points. Andy talks briefly about what each looks like.[17:00] - Moral pluralism is when different moral claims and responsibilities happen in a situation at the same time. Charlie talks about how this can come into play with each psychological challenge.[21:45] - Resentment can present itself in many different ways. Andy talks about being an employee feeling resentful that they have to step out of their comfort zone to do something that they feel they shouldn’t have to do in the first place. This can also happen with entry-level workers; often times there is an awareness that the course they’re on is necessary, but they can still be resentful that they aren’t able to do some other project or task.[25:03] - We’re very good at avoiding things, either consciously or unconsciously. There’s a bit of relief when we avoid doing something, but at the same time, putting it off until a later time is just going to make it harder to do.[28:06] - Some other avoidance strategies are rationalization, and substituting. Usually when substituting, it would result in an imperfect substitution where you opt for a different method rather than what would really be best for you to do.[32:38] - One important thing to remember is that each person handles challenges better at different points of the day. First things first doesn’t necessarily mean sequence; it can mean your first and most primal energy would be where you focus on the important tasks you need to complete. It’s not necessarily avoidance if you save it for a time you know you will be productive.[35:07] - In his research, Andy found three key things that help people get out of their comfort zones: conviction, customization, and clarity. The trio of all three seemed to increase the odds of people willing to take a leap. Conviction is finding your purpose, and understanding your why.[37:00] - Customization is the simple idea that there is no one-size-fits-all for anything. In any situation outside your comfort zone, you can tweak or customize to make the situation more comfortable for you.[41:50] - We have more power than we think, and when we adopt this thought pattern, we can leverage our creativity and experimentation to make situations more comfortable for us when we’re stepping outside our comfort zones. Creating small wins for ourselves helps put us in the position to succeed, and when we do mess up, it’s good to see those instances as learning opportunities.[46:08] - It is really critical to take a leap. Once you do take a leap, it’s important because you can learn something about yourself. You may discover that something isn’t as hard as you thought it was, or that you’re better at it than you thought you might be. When you have this experience, you may end up increasing the odds that you will try again, and build confidence and mastery.[48:48] - Andy’s challenge for listeners: Take a piece of paper and draw three circles. One circle is your comfort zone, one is your stretch zone, and the other is your terror zone. Think of 3 to 5 tasks or situations in your life that can go in each of the circles. Focus on your stretch zone and see which task or situation could be something you would really like to dedicate some effort to working on.Mentioned in This Episode:Productive FlourishingAndy MolinskyBooks by Andy MolinskyLeave a Review This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

In today’s episode, Leah and Charlie discuss an array of topics, like how mindfulness may be unintentionally excluding people from different religious faiths, and how people in organizations can make room for an inclusive conversation about introspective practices that respect everyone’s beliefs. They also discuss the traps of creating “universal” solutions that stamp out individuality in other cultures. Leah is a business consultant and author who helps people integrate mindfulness and productivity.Key Takeaways:[1:48] - We often use mindfulness as an agnostic and inclusive way to pull people into a practice of meditation or thoughtfulness, but sometimes mindfulness can be exclusive.[2:48] - Right now, Leah is working on an academic case that looks at how different companies are bringing in mindfulness - their metrics, how it’s being received - as well as the consequences and challenges. In corporate settings, there hasn’t been as much dialogue about this topic as there has been in the field of education.[4:25] – In her work, Leah heard the comment that businesses are becoming the new church, or a place where conversations about values are happening. On the one hand, this is exciting, but there are better ways to approach these conversations and ways that could come across as exclusive or offensive. This type of conversation isn’t quite as prevalent in the corporate world.[6:06] – It is important to think about the context of the major dominant culture and its values versus alternative values. Sometimes, the ways we talk about mindfulness can be exclusive of certain groups (most commonly Christians here in the US). It is important to make room for other ways of thinking, and consider different words for the same thing.[9:15] – How can we approach this conversation at the organizational level? Leah highlights the importance of being up front about the goals of the conversation, and inviting varying viewpoints without judgment. There should be a respect for our ability to learn from one another.[12:10] – Historically, Christianity, Islam, and Judaism have been the most exclusive religions. When discussing your beliefs, it is important to do it in a respectful way that informs others of where you’re coming from, while valuing where they’re coming from as well. This invites a mutual understanding of each other’s languages as well – you don’t have to use the same terminology across the board, but you have to understand what’s being said. It’s not conversion practice; it is creating a space to have a quiet and introspective time.[17:15] – What often happens is that people dodge conversations when they have the opportunity to get to know someone on a deeper level. Having a shared goal can help make these conversations easier. These sorts of conversations aren’t a part of education anymore, and it makes it hard to have those conversations later on in our professional lives. It can be daunting to ask questions while worrying about being insulting. Not having these conversations can unintentionally lead to people getting offended anyway.[21:00] – Having conversations with others to learn about their beliefs and practices can raise awareness of their culture so you know how to coexist (personally and professionally) in a way that respects everyone’s beliefs. When you have these conversations, it’s important not to come from a place of judgement, but as a way to understand how another person interacts with the world.[25:03] – One of the things Leah has been doing at work is working with some of the biggest oil companies to explore how to implement mindfulness in the context of improving safety. With increased intention to our attention, there will be an impact on safety and good outcomes, but you have to speak a language that everyone can relate to. You have to spend time with people and learn their language and see what is going to work for the people you’re trying to reach.[27:15] – Trying to create a universal “plug and play” system may end up overriding cultural and personal differences. A great way to make sure that you’re being culturally relevant is to make sure you’re hiring people from that culture to run programs and work in the management system. Charlie talks about the dichotomy between local people doing the work and the management being of an outside culture.[30:30] – The only way to surface our strongest assumptions is to get out of the places where the assumptions universally apply. When trying to create a productive culture in a workplace, corporations have to make sure they are thinking about the conditions that will enable everyone in the workplace to thrive.[33:45] – Knowing the culture of an organization beforehand is important in making sure it will be a good fit. Organizations should be asking what they’re optimizing their culture for, and individuals should be thinking about what they’re optimizing their career around. If you have the option, pick a place where the culture will also enhance your career goals.[36:10] – Undergrads, or anyone, trying to decide what to do for your career, get somewhere near it so you can learn about the culture of that career and how you fit into it. Before you rule something out, if you have the opportunity, try it out. Experiential learning is the best learning.[41:50] – Leah’s challenge is to go to someone in your life (school, workplace), who comes from a background different than your own. Ask them questions about it, and make the choice to tell them you want to learn more – don’t let fear of the conversation or saying the wrong things stop you.Mentioned in This Episode:Productive FlourishingLeah Weiss This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

Sometimes, we’re in a business or a career, and it’s not suiting us for one reason or another, but we’re not sure in which new direction to move. In this episode, Charlie and Breanne explore what to do when you need to make a shift, but you’re not sure what to shift into. They focus on their work with growing other businesses, as well as the growing pangs they are each going through in their own lives. Breanne is the founder of MNIB Consulting, a business strategist, and has been a regular guest on the Productive Flourishing podcast.Key Takeaways:[2:45] - In our work, something may be missing and we know there’s some shift that needs to happen, but we’re not sure what. From the outside, it may look like we have it all, when in reality there are things that aren’t quite right, and things that could be better.[5:40] - There are a lot of purpose-centric questions being asked these days, and across people in different industries, there has been a lot of indecision and uncertainty. When something is up in the air, it’s a good time to sit back and evaluate if that’s really what you want to be doing with your life.[8:15] - One of the focuses of Breanne’s meditations for martial arts is that all we have is the present; what is the past has already happened, and what’s going to happen in the future, we can’t control, but we can decide what we’re going to do in this moment. At the same time, in our day-to-day lives, we have to recognize that what we do in the present will impact the future.[10:55] - Our world is a smaller part of something much larger, and as we move through our journey, there may be things ahead that we can’t see yet. When we come to these points on our journey where we may be moving into something new and we’re not sure that’s what we want to do, we can evaluate our highest and best use to help guide our decisions.[15:05] - As Breanne has grown her business team, the larger staff has allowed her to free up some of the responsibilities she was previously handling. One thing she has noticed is that she’s been falling back into some old responsibilities in her job. Now, she is evaluating the best ways to use her free time.[18:40] - Charlie has found that many of the projects he wants to be working on are long-term, and it’s been about finding small projects or business tasks that provide more immediate satisfaction of completion. Sometimes, our highest and best use might be doing a task we would really rather not be doing, but it is what is needed at the time.[21:00] - As humans, we have needs for connection, and relation, and social, spiritual and physical needs. There is an interesting cultural phenomenon that it’s our business’s job to meet those needs. This has the potential to create a bit of a problem if your work and social circles overlap too much.[24:20] - Back in the summer, Charlie started a new productivity experiment for himself. He set a limit of 8 hours a day of work, and writing and creative work counted. The second rule was to be done by 5:00pm. The last rule was no admin work in between the meetings. This experiment has allowed Charlie to evaluate how his work flow affects the amount of work the team has to take on, and make some positive changes that made the work manageable for everyone.[27:25] - On Charlie’s team, they use the acronym “WBM,” which stands for “who besides me.” This helps identify the people who have the skills and the time to take on a project, and allows time to determine if it is a priority project. When this creates space in our day, we have to be intentional about how we’re spending and using that time.[31:54] - Sometimes, with this new free time, it might be easy to fall back into patterns of work, but that could end up creating more work for our teams and ourselves. Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing. Learning to do nothing can enlighten the things we should be doing, and ask where we’re going next.[38:30] - In our careers and our businesses, we don’t often have conversations about sufficiency. Sometimes things are really good, and stretching for immediate growth is not always necessary. Sometimes, where we are can be enough.[42:25] - Highest and best use is about efficiency, and trusting that an efficient approach will accomplish what it needs to accomplish. Early on in a career, you may have to try many different approaches to figure out what is most efficient. As the business grows and matures, it’s about knowing which approaches to use and when.[44:46] - Breanne’s challenge for listeners from the book she’s currently reading, The Power of Receiving: Get three pages of paper and fill the pages with “I want” statements. Explore what it is you actually want; don’t limit yourself!Mentioned in This Episode:Productive FlourishingMNIB Consulting, Inc.The Power of Receiving, by Amanda OwenLeave a Review This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

In today’s episode, Charlie and Angela discuss what it means to live away from family when they are dealing with health challenges and medical issues. Whether you are close or far from your relatives, you may have to be part of the healthcare journey of aging parents or grandparents. Charlie and Angela talk about different ways to determine your values, how to work with others in the family to come to decisions, and how to overcome the shame and guilt that may arise in these difficult situations.Key Takeaways:[3:30] - As we approach this conversation, it’s important to remember that every person’s relationship with their family is different, and their experience is going to be different. As you start making decisions about things related to family, you have to distinguish the fine line between your values, family values, and social pressures of “the way things should be.”[4:55] - The context for Charlie and Angela’s family is that both their parents and Angela’s grandparents live in Arkansas, and now they live in Portland, Oregon, and it has created a barrier in time and distance.[7:07] - For many creative people, it can be hard to find career opportunities where you’re from. Sometimes the place you’re from doesn’t resonate with you culturally, or allow you to be your most productive self. For Charlie and Angela, they’ve made the decision to stay in Portland for those reasons (and more), rather than packing up and moving closer to family.[9:20] - Almost everyone is going to have to think about decisions related to family health at some point in time. Even if you’re in the same place as your parents or family, you may still be involved. But there is a whole new set of logistics that comes into play when you are not where your family is.[11:25] - The thing Angela relies most on when determining whether an event is something she needs to be there for is her intuition - what felt right and what felt resonant in her heart. It wasn’t always the same as what her friends thought it would be or what society thought it would be.[13:35] - Both Charlie and Angela have dealt with dementia in their family. For Charlie, it’s tricky because he wants to be there for everything, but on the other hand, he knows he can’t be there for everything. In addition to this, with dementia, his dad is not always present, even when he’s there, and too many people around can be too much in his dad’s situation.[16:45] - Logical is not always what happens when it comes to our relationships with families. One of the best things we can do for ourselves and our families is to be able to have open and healthy conversations about what we’re able to do, what we want to do, and what we realistically can do in certain situations. Having this understanding is especially important in situations where maybe the family relationship isn’t the best, or there aren’t shared values.[19:40] - It is important to try to get aligned on what outcome everyone wants. Everyone may have different ideas of how to get there, but it can help make the process easier to get everyone on the same page. You can set up different conditions and agree on them, and then get into the discussion of how best to achieve them.[21:50] - Another important thing to remember is that everyone’s contribution may not look the same. Charlie talks about situations where maybe one person can’t be there, but could provide money or off-site planning to make things happen. Every contribution is important.[23:28] - If you want a condition that’s different than the rest of your family, you have to be willing to be part of the solution to make it happen. If you’re in a situation where you can’t contribute time, energy, money, etc., you may not get as much say as someone who is able to be there and do the work.[26:00] - If you are the sibling or child who is there, you may have to let go of being the martyr and ask for help or support. As the one who is with the family making the day-to-day decisions, asking for help and support can actually benefit the person you are caring for as well. Be careful not to close yourself off to people offering help as well. If you are a primary caregiver, it can be very valuable to have a therapist or a coach.[33:15] - Guilt and shame are things many people wrestle with in these family situations. It is important to distinguish what is coming from yourself, versus what is coming from what other people think. Once you identify the source, figure out what it is that is not being manifested, and figure out what you can do to change the situation.[37:37] - Identifying what is not in alignment for you (versus what other people think should be happening) is an important aspect of dealing with guilt and shame. Us developing as people is the constant awakening of ourselves - uncovering what our truths and values are.[40:22] - As a caretaker, your life matters too. You make choices based on what will benefit everybody, including yourself. Put yourself in the mix of people and things that matter.[42:15] - Whether you are the caretakee or the caretaker, Charlie is sending love. Do the best you can to take care of yourself and the people involved. At the end of the day, it’s really about the people.Mentioned in This Episode:Productive FlourishingThe Rise of the Creative Class, by Richard FloridaWho’s Your City, by Richard FloridaLeave a Review This is a public episode. 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In today’s episode, Jacquette Timmons and Charlie discuss how the ways we make and spend money are more based on our feelings and identities than on cold, hard logic. They also talk about how to pay attention to the data we’re getting as we make decisions about earning and spending. Jacquette Timmons is author of the book Financial Intimacy, and has also appeared as a guest on Oprah.com and CNN.Key Takeaways:[2:45] - Back in the summer, Jacquette had tried to launch a group coaching program with no success. After working through Charlie’s Epic Launch Playbook, she realized that thinking about the program didn’t bring her the same excitement and energy as working with her coaching clients.[6:05] - The key piece to Jacquette making this discovery was the energy. Working on the group coaching program was draining her, and she realized that it was going to have an impact on how she was showing up to the project. She also realized that she could channel her efforts elsewhere to gain the same revenue she would’ve made from the group coaching project (by getting more one-on-one clients or doing more speaking gigs).[7:30] - Your energy is important to how you might work towards earning something. It is important to evaluate how you feel about waking up to do the work. If it’s a negative feeling, maybe a different path is in store. You have to explore the small pocket of ways to make money that are also aligned with who you are, and what helps you thrive and makes you happy.[11:10] - In her work and experience, Jacquette has noticed different trends when it comes to earning, between entrepreneurs and people who are employees for a larger entity. For entrepreneurs, it is often the case that their businesses are doing well, but their personal finances aren’t necessarily reflecting that. One way to approach finances in entrepreneurship is to figure out first what your business needs to be paying you to cover your expenses, set up savings, and support long-term wealth-building goals, rather than taking what’s leftover as what you pay yourself.[14:25] - Another aspect to consider is your profit; your profit should be considered after it has paid you the salary it needs to pay you, rather than just what’s left over after operational expenses. Evaluating the finances of your business and your personal finances can be tough to do, but it is important to keep this in check in case you need to change something about your business plan.[17:57] - If your business is not paying you, you essentially have a really expensive hobby, one that may actually also be eating away at your future. Income is largely the proxy you can use to determine what options you have for different circumstances in your life.[21:05] - Our identity plays into the lens through which we analyze the situations we’re in, and how we navigate through them. We have to evaluate what our money and material goods mean to us and our identity. The things we buy are identity statements, and a lot of times these aren’t conscious decisions.[24:17] - Many of our beliefs about money are at a subconscious level, and we don’t often spend as much time as we should exploring where identity markers come from. Some of them are ones that we’ve embraced as our own, and some, we have inherited. Our feelings about and reactions to certain situations can help us draw some identity lines. If you’re in a job or career, and you’re not inspired or challenged by the people you’re surrounded by, it might be time to find a different path, or surround yourself with different people.[30:13] - It is also important to understand what your role in your work or life situation is. As your life shifts and changes, you also have to expand your role in these different situations. If you’re the one inspiring those around you, you also need to find a space where you’re inspired and challenged for growth as well.[32:32] - This relates to money because if what you’re doing isn’t making you happy, you’re going to be spending your hard-earned money doing the things that make you happy to fill that hole. You may be making more money doing something that doesn’t fulfill you and spend it trying to make yourself happy, or you can find the things that fill you up, with the chance that you might make a bit less.[35:37] - It is helpful to remember that we curate our identity for other people. If your marker for whether or not you should do something is based on what other people have curated, it may not be an accurate depiction. That’s where the internal markers come in - what is true for you will endure.[39:41] - You have to be careful not to rationalize your actions too much if you’re stuck in a place you don’t really want to be in. If you are in that position, where you need to do something unfavorable for a certain amount of time - maybe taking a part time job or stepping back from something - you have to be intentional about when you are going to resume your original work. If you leave this up to chance, you may never return to your original project.[46:20] - Set real timelines for yourself, whether it is an amount of time, or maybe working a job until you save a certain amount of money. Whatever it is, have that tripwire and hold yourself accountable; otherwise, later could become never.[47:22] - When we think about money, many of us don’t think about our identity or feelings. One of the biggest challenges is that we tend to make it about the intelligence part, rather than the heart, which can provide guidance on how to move forward. Everything around the numbers or money has a lot to do with your circumstances, choices, beliefs, expectations, and failures and successes. The better we get about not feeling bad about where we may have fallen short, the more we will be able to use money as a communication tool that allows us to speak to ourselves and other people in a different way.[51:10] - Jacquette’s invitation/challenge to listeners is to go back and pull the last three months of banking and credit card statements (“Roll Call”), and indicate on every transaction whether it was something that made you a happy, mandatory, or maybe something you regret now. As you tally it up, you will get a great amount of data about what you’re doing with your money, and also where you might want to make some changes so you’re getting more from your money for your life.Mentioned in This Episode:Productive FlourishingJacquette’s TimmonsFinancial Intimacy, by Jacquette TimmonsProductive Flourishing Podcast Episode 49: Financial Success Doesn’t Start in Your Wallet with Jacquette TimmonsLeave a Review This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

ADHD can make focusing on creative work particularly difficult. Today’s guest, Ryan McRae, was diagnosed with ADHD and works with people who have ADHD. In today’s episode, Charlie and Ryan explore what it’s like when you have ADHD and you’re trying to be productive and focused. While people with ADHD have a harder time focusing, their challenges and the strategies they use to overcome them can work wonders for all of us.Key Takeaways:[2:35] - Ryan was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 18, during his first year of college. He noticed that the lack of structure going from high school and college made it hard for him to stay on track. He realized that he didn’t have the same ability to attend and focus in class as other students, and this started back in elementary school for him.[7:01] - There may be a misconception about people with ADHD that they are also distracted. Sometimes, they may be hyperfocused on something when they’re interested, so much so that they forget about everything else. It’s a distinction between consumption and creation.[8:11] - Ryan has learned to deal with the different ways ADHD manifests itself, and talks about some of his strategies for redirecting and getting focused on what needs to get done. One of the things that’s important for him is managing his energy level in a way that allows him to accomplish his goals.[11:35] - Technology pushes more of us toward having function ADHD - all the notifications and other distractions involved in technology can get us into vicious cycles of checking things on technology devices. Once you get started or distracted, and can be really hard to get back on track.[12:53] - For people with ADHD, they have to manage it in their own way, and be hyper aware of potential distractions or the feeling of creative work being really hard. When you switch tasks, there is a lag time to get yourself back on track.[15:24] - When Ryan is trying to be productive, he describes it as a zombie apocalypse: you have to create barriers and things that take down distractions. He has a bag (a go-bag) that he keeps in his car that has writing supplies.[19:00] - Our brains are not meant to be keepers of short-term information. Both Ryan and Charlie keep notebooks on hand to get their ideas out when they have them. Having “analog” items can be helpful because they will never pull you in a different direction than you want to go, like perhaps a phone or tablet might. He has a blue book where he records lists and other materials to continuously reference.[23:45] - When Ryan wants to get focused, he constructs an environment that will allow him to achieve that focus. For him, that is sitting in the same place in a coffee shop. He also makes sure he has the right tools for whatever task he’s working on. When he’s working, he likes to work in big multi-hour chunks. For tasks that are small and annoying, he has developed systems to overcome these distractions or remove them from his life.[26:55] - Managing ADHD is similar to managing willpower fatigue. People with ADHD have less control over willpower. Removing the requirement that you use your willpower to complete a task can be helpful in accomplishing things like going to the grocery store. For people with ADHD, their decision fatigue may occur quicker than others so they have to find ways to save energy in other places.[29:50] - Systems are a powerful thing to help you be more focused and creative. Structure and creativity are aligned forces in the ability to do your best work. Ryan has a system for writing where he outlines during one session, and does the writing during a different session, and edits in another session. For people with or without ADHD, trying to do all of this in the same session is a bad idea.[35:20] - This same idea applies to other big projects in our lives - you can prepare the plan, and then carry it out. Ryan works with his clients on this idea to help them outline the steps to accomplish their projects. Outlining the steps to take, and what you want the final result to look like can make focusing on the work easier.[39:10] - Ryan’s ADHD comes in handy because he can think on his feet very well. He shares a cheeky story of how this came in handy, and how he was able to process quickly what needed to be said and how to do it.[44:05] - Ryan’s challenge for listeners is to find something that you’ve always had to make a decision on, and reduce one decision in your life so you can clear out some of the clutter in your life. If that works, keep doing that and reduce those choices.Mentioned in This Episode:Productive FlourishingRyan McRae: ADHD NerdApp: HeadspaceLeave a Review This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

Jessica Abel is the author of La Perdida, and the Chair of the illustration program at the Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Arts. Both within and outside the academy, she helps creative people with big ideas get past procrastination and anxiety, and get on to do their best work. In today’s episode, Jessica and Charlie talk about what happens when creativity and productivity teachers get stuck, and how they go about getting unstuck.Key Takeaways:[2:47] - This is Jessica’s second year as a full time professor and department head. She is currently juggling curriculum projects, teaching courses, and working on her comic book. And when those are finished, there is still more on the horizon.[5:40] - For Jessica, most of the struggle comes from project creep, but also underestimating the amount of time and concentration it is going to take to do the course along with everything else she’s involved in.[6:50] - She is able to teach this because she can relate, and she sees how well her students are able to put it into practice. One of the biggest parts of what she teaches is the self-forgiveness piece. Don’t be easy on yourself, but you have to forgive yourself and start over every day.[7:50] - When you have a multi-domain life, and it can be hard to achieve the ideal of one big goal. Each domain of life has different ways in which it intersects with the others, and while you may have one big goal in one domain, there are so many domains. Sometimes, deciding on one goal in a certain area of your life can help you find some peace.[10:37] - Thinking about getting into the mindset to work can provide a distraction from the actual doing of the work. Setting deadlines for yourself can be helpful to some degree, but it is good to be able to do this without stress and anxiety.[15:37] - For Jessica, she doesn’t think anxiety and pressure have to be a part of the process. Most things take you two to three times the amount of time you think they’re going to take you. If you set a deadline for yourself for say one week, decide it’s okay if it takes you three weeks, then you can still work without that pressure because you’ve allowed yourself the time for it to take a little longer.[19:25] - With multiple projects on her plate, how does Jessica work through knowing where she is right now? Sometimes, this involves taking a project off her list and putting it off for another time. This is Charlie’s familiar concept of the project cage match. Jessica talks about idea debt, where the energy of holding all those things in your head at once is a lot, and sometimes, it is better to relinquish a project up front before you spend emotional energy on it. It’s important to follow up on projects you’ve planned for, and decide if they are still relevant when they come back up.[27:05] - As creative individuals, we want our creative projects to spur new creative thoughts and ideas. Over time, your joy of doing something may not be sufficient to prioritize doing it. Jessica tries to chase complexity and intellectual engagement in her creative projects. The core motivation shifts over time as you become a more mature creative person, to appreciate the interplay of the elements you’re trying to master.[33:50] - You can’t let trying to go deeper into your creative work enable you to procrastinate and not actually do the work. There is going to be creative discomfort somewhere, and when we get stuck we may have to displace the discomfort to keep moving forward.[38:50] - Many artists and creative people have groups where they talk to each other about their work and about getting stuck and how they move through that. You don’t have to figure it out alone! You can also challenge yourself by giving yourself constraints to help support your creativity.[43:30] - This concept goes back to the idea of deadlines, and how they can help us get our work done. Having a healthy deadline or constraint can catalyze the creative process, the same way having an unhealthy deadline can undermine the creative process.[45:50] - Creative constraints can push you to places you’ve never gone before. Whenever you get stuck, you can change your context, where you do your work, or you can switch constraints and see if that helps get the process going. Referencing your own previous work with a different set of rules can also be very beneficial.[50:00] - We tend to abandon things too quickly. Once we finish something, we generally move right on to the next thing without allowing the first thing to settle. There’s a balance between revisiting your old hits and presenting new material.[55:55] - Jessica’s challenge is to take something that is really important to you, an idea or work, and transform it into another form. Don’t just rewrite it, but take it and make something else out of it. See if that doesn’t start to bring out something really brand new in it for you.Mentioned in This Episode:Productive FlourishingJessica AbelLa Perdida, by Jessica AbelGrowing Gills, by Jessica AbelLeap First, by Seth GodinLeave a Review This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe