Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

Dream University’s CEO, Marcia Wieder is a long established thought leader on visionary thinking and as Founder of The Meaning Institute, she teaches people to create and live fulfilling lives.  Listen in as she coaches you through the “CBA’s” of going after your dreams and making them happen!

We all, especially women, have struggled with body image, at least one time in our lives. The media and society at large do not make having a healthy body image easy. I want to highlight the fact that if we took all the mental energy people spend on thinking about, obsessing over and criticizing their bodies, and shifted it into thinking about how we could serve the world, change the world and solve big problems, imagine how different the world would be. If you are expending a lot of your own mental energy focusing on how you look rather than on how you feel and what you want to contribute, consider re-directing it.  In my 20’s I was never diagnosed with anorexia or bulimia but I definitely would say I had body image issues. I possibly had body dysmorphia, which is when your obsession with how you look and what you eat gets in the way of your happiness and your ability to connect. I don’t think I saw myself accurately. I was working as a personal trainer and nutritionist, so I was super obsessed about what I ate and I possibly had exercise bulimia too. If I ate “bad”, I would be driven to tears with guilt. This went on for a few years until some major things shifted. It finally subsided when I committed to the type of personal and spiritual growth work I teach on this show. I focused more on working out and body image than I did on really diving in and doing the work. I also dealt with feeling out of control in my life. I had left my job and I didn’t know what I wanted to do in my life. I had a huge expectation hangover in terms of where I thought I “should be”. I had so much uncertainty. That is when I started a meditation practice and that really helps me to feel more settled and more present. The out of control feeling comes from when our mind is just going and going and we are future tripping all the time. That led me to create a much stronger spiritual practice and relationship with God. I was so self-obsessed I felt very, very separate. I didn’t have a strong spiritual connection to begin with but the more I leaned into it, the more I talked to God and read spiritual books, the more the connection deepened. I got a purpose which was bigger than me. I got clear on what I was truly hungry for. I was hungry to serve. I was hungry to learn. I was hungry for spiritual connection. When I started to feed myself with what I was truly hungry for, the obsession with food, diet, exercise and body began to melt away. Any disorder, addiction or illness is there to get our attention. It is an indicator that there are unresolved issues we are working hard to suppress. It’s a red flag that we are craving something and we are trying to feed ourselves through whatever the addiction and disorders are. These disorders reinforce the pain of separation. When we do things that are dangerous, even hurtful to our well-being, it’s a cry out for God, for remembrance, for the awareness that we are so loved, whole and complete exactly as we are.  Today’s caller, Anne, has been in and out of therapy for her eating disorder so I took a different approach with her. We worked on healing her bulimia with love.  I invite all of you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali will include meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. I E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join the festivities or to join me in Los Angeles in July for my signature retreat.   Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Are you so obsessed with your body that it affects your emotional stability, everyday decisions or relationships? ● Have you gone through treatment for a disorder but just can’t seem to be free of it? ● Are you aware of what you need to do to heal but cannot seem to integrate it?   Anne’s Question: Anne has been struggling with bulimia for over 12 years. She has informed herself about how to get better but can’t seem to take the necessary steps to free herself from its grip.   Anne’s Key Insights and Aha’s: ● Her bulimia is a coping mechanism ● She felt insecure while growing up ● She is trying to get to self-acceptance by not accepting the bulimia ● She doesn’t know how to get by without her bulimia ● She doesn’t feel lovable   How to get over it and on with it: ● Realize her bulimia has had a higher purpose in helping her to get love ● She may try to fully accept it and heal it with love ● Tell her bulimia it has a new job description ● She needs something to take the place of her disorder   Tools and Takeaways: ● If you realize you have an eating disorder or body image issue, please reach out for support. ● Don’t judge your issue, be honest towards it and heal it with love. ● Write a letter of gratitude and appreciation towards what you would like to release. ● Set up two chairs and talk to your disorder, asking it what it needs and how it serves you. ● Don’t go into hopeless/helpless state, believing this disorder is yours to carry for the rest of your life.   Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link (including my favorite Alpha Brain).   Resources: Christine Hassler Expectation Hangover @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com

Sometimes the experience of loneliness can feel so painful that connection seems almost impossible.  If that feels true for you, here is a four-step process you can use to support yourself in relieving feeling lonely.

There is a difference between being alone and feeling the pain of loneliness. We do not have to suffer from the pain of loneliness if we are enjoying a connected relationship with our self and a higher power. We are never really alone, and the illusion of the separation of God, higher power source or universe, is one of the core misunderstandings we are all here to overcome. If we tell ourselves things like “I’m alone, I hate being by myself, something must be wrong with me, I really need to be with other people”, then, of course we feel the pain of loneliness. It’s very human to want to be connected and to make sure we are getting our soul food by spending time with people we love. Feeling isolated or disconnected is incredibly hard. But sometimes it is the pain of loneliness that inspires us to do the work to nurture a better relationship with our self, or to create or deepen a spiritual connection.    This is exactly what is on the soul agenda for today’s caller, Christina. Her question initially is about the assumptions she’s making that are sabotaging her relationship, but her core issue is fear of being alone. She has a track record of being in toxic relationships or relationships she truly doesn’t want to be in just because it was better than being on her own. Remember you are never truly alone. You are always connected to infinite and unconditional love from God. I invite all of you to join me September 16-22 for my retreat in magical Bali which  will include meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join the festivities or to join me in Los Angeles in July for my signature retreat.   Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Is your fear of being alone so considerable that you jump from relationship to relationship? ● Do you hesitate to do things alone? ● Are you terrified you will end up old and alone? ● Do you only feel safe when you are with another person? ● Are you longing for a deeper connection to yourself and a higher power so you do not have to experience the pain of loneliness or separation?   Christina’s Question: Christina feels she is sabotaging her relationship by assuming this partner will do the same things as her previous partner.   Christina’s Key Insights and Aha’s: ● She panics when she thinks of being alone ● She is trying to learn how to be in a relationship with herself ● She grew up with a fear of losing the people she loved ● She settles in relationships to keep herself from being alone   How to get over it and on with it: ● Redefine what being alone is ● Create a feeling of safety without having someone else there ● Have honest communication with her partner about taking a break ● Bring a spiritual practice into her life ● Apply her own calming tactics into her own life   Tools and Takeaways: ● Understand your default pattern when you feel lonely. What can you tell yourself instead of going into your default pattern?  ● Think of someone you speak highly of and then talk about yourself the same way. You deserve to be the recipient of loving, self-talk. ● Cultivate a spiritual practice. ● Make connections with soul friends and your soul family.   Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link (including my favorite Alpha Brain).   Resources: Christine Hassler Expectation Hangover @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com

Wouldn’t you love to bring in more of what you want in your life without working so hard at it? If the answer is yes, then I think you will really love the practice I have for you today that is one of the biggest secrets to my success. In this episode of coaches corner I share a practice that has led to the manifestation of few of the things that have been integral to the growth of my business.

Our dreams come from our inner wisdom and our wants come from our ego. We all have things that happen in our lives, which create fear, uncertainty, doubt and self-limiting beliefs. Often, we try to ease the pain of those things by chasing after something. For example, if you are really hard on yourself, then you may spend a lot of time wanting someone else to love you. You have a high want for a romantic relationship or you have a parent who was really hard on you or only validated you for your accomplishments, and you may have grown up with the feeling of unworthiness and high want for money and success. Ego-based wants come from feeling ‘less than’, and then searching for something or someone to fill the void. These kinds of wants are not coming from an authentic place, because at the authentic self-level we know that absolutely nothing is missing. The want is coming from our ego. When we obtain our ego-based wants, they only give us a temporary sense of satisfaction. They do not cure the deep longing we feel for worthiness, belonging and love. How do we know something we are longing for is not an ego-based desire but a true dream we must pursue? It comes down to the feeling of longing, which we feel in our heart, not in our head. Our dreams are a psychic prediction of what is coming; we feel a deep longing to experience something because we know that on some level, it is our destiny.  We can’t always control the form and timing of it and that is where suffering can come in.  It is imperative we pursue our dreams on the level of essence, not form; and we focus on the feelings we long to feel rather than try to make it happen or get attached to how we think it should happen. An example of this is, perhaps you feel a longing to make an impact on the world. You feel a deep desire in your heart, which is almost painful when you feel you are not doing it right now. Instead of trying to figure out what business to start to make a difference, focus instead on the feelings you want to feel and then begin to take aligned actions in that direction. Set the intention every day to be of service and ask to be used as an instrument of impact. Look for the simple ways to make an impact right now. When it comes to dreams, waiting is not a good idea. Take action now to move you in the direction of how you want to feel and what you want to experience. The biggest roadblock to going after dreams is fear. Nothing silences the voice of your inner wisdom more than doubt and fear. Honor your dreams and stop being so scared.  Today’s caller, Anya is scared and feels guilty about wanting to go after her dream because it was not her original plan. I invite all of you to join me in September 16-22 for my retreat in Bali will include meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the finest conversations with like-minded women. I will also be available for personal sessions. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join the festivities or to join me in July for my signature retreat.   Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Do you know what your dreams are? Are you terrified to go after them? ● Do you feel stuck because you do not know how to turn your dreams and longings into actual steps? ● Are you concerned that if you don’t go after your dreams soon you will spend the rest of your life regretting it?   Anya’s Question: Anya has been feeling lost because she is passionate about acting but she is afraid to follow her dream.   Anya’s Key Insights and Aha’s: ● She feels the pressure of the expectations others have of her ● She is embarrassed that her dream is different than her education ● She needs to take the first step   How to get over it and on with it: ● She can give herself permission to stand for her dreams ● She should communicate her dream to others ● She needs to take the first step ● She should write a list of all the reasons acting is important to her   Tools and Takeaways: ● Give yourself permission to pursue your dreams ● Write down a list of reasons why your dreams have value and are safe to explore ● Change or update your story to include what matters most to you ● Get fully behind your dreams with intention   Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link (Including my favorite Alpha Brain).   Resources: Christine Hassler Expectation Hangover 20 Something Manifesto @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram

This Coach’s Corner features inspirational catalyst John O’Leary.  As a nine-year-old boy, John was burned on 100% of his body and expected to die. Today, he travels the world teaching others how to truly live. John empowers 50,000 people each year to LIVE INSPIRED at live events. He released his first book earlier this month and it is a bestseller on Amazon. After hearing him today in our coaches corner, you’ll definitely want a copy so remember the title: ON FIRE: The 7 Choices to Ignite a Radically Inspired Life. John is a business owner, writer, husband and father of four. Expected to die. Now, teaching others how to truly live. John O’Leary, welcome to Over it and On with It!.

Have you ever had something come back around like a romantic relationship, friendship, job or career path that you thought was over? Or perhaps you’ve gotten a second chance with a different situation or cast of characters.  Like a new relationship after a divorce or a job after being laid off. Or even your health after getting to the other side of an illness. Second chances do happen for all of us and when they do, it is important that we apply the lessons we learned the first time around. Many of us are great about doing this because we are intentional about not wanting to repeat the same kind of what we’d call mistakes again.  We approach second chances with gratitude and excitement. But second chances can also produce fear.  What is fascinating (and rather sad) about us humans sometimes is that the closer what we truly wants gets, the more we attempt to push it away.  Obviously this is not a conscious thing we do, the saboteur is very sneaky…yet powerful. And the reason we sabotage is because we have not fully healed the core issues and misunderstandings around love and worthiness.    You’ll listen to an example of this with today’s caller Jenny who has gotten a second chance in regards to a romantic relationship.  She would love to just feel grateful and excited, yet what she is experiencing is a roller coaster of emotions.  The time is now for her to accept that she is truly worthy of love. She can open her heart, expose her vulnerability and bloom into her feminine aspect or she can go to her protected, solitary place. Being honest and vulnerable in her relationships will allow her to let someone special in without feeling fear.  Coaching Tip from this call: Focus should be on learning and not on the outcome. Dropping our ego and adopting a learning oriented approach to life serves both client and coach, equally. I invite all of you to join me in September for an my retreat in magical Bali will include meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the finest conversations with like-minded women. I will also be available for personal sessions. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join the festivities on September 16-22.   Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Have you recently gotten a second chance at something and if so, how are you approaching it? ● Is there someone or something you would like a second chance with? ● Do you truly know you are deserving of love and/or success? ● Do you get anxious about a relationship, and experience a roller coaster of emotions? ● Ladies, do you live in your in your masculine energy a lot? Gentlemen, do you have trouble connecting to a woman who experiences a roller coaster of emotions?   Jenny’s Question: Jenny wants to know why she reacted like she did when a nice guy wanted to be her boyfriend and what tools she can use to stay in the present and to drop the anxiety.   Jenny’s Key Insights and Aha’s: ● She doesn’t feel worthy of love ● She is being vulnerable and it feels uncomfortable ● She may feel like a fraud when accepting love ● She can feel safe receiving love   How to get over it and on with it: ● Focus on the shared visions and values ● Recognize self-worth ● Talk to anxiety in a feminine, loving way ● Shift awareness and let love in   Tools and Takeaways: ● Stay in the present and be grateful for all you have ● Think of the ways you can be more vulnerable ● Practice saying “Thank You” ● Check out Men Exposed, Alison Armstrong and David Deita   Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link (Including my favorites, Alpha Brain and MCT Oil)   Resources: Christine Hassler Men Exposed Allison Armstrong The Queen’s Code David Dieta @christinhassler on twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com

Are you too nice? That may seem like a strange question because most of us would think that being nice is a wonderful way to be. But sometimes we are too nice. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for love, kindness and generosity. Yet I’ve noticed that although niceness is very p.c., it isn’t always authentic. In today’s coaches corner I discuss the danger of killing yourself with inauthentic kindness!

Why does our list of requirements for a lover, looks a lot like a job application? There are considerations for height, weight, and experience. Did we meet the person based on a reference from someone else? Do they fit into our mold of the “right one”? When we focus or obsess more on how the relationship is progressing than the quality of the experience, we miss out on why we are supposed to be in the relationship in the first place. What we are questioning is not actually a real dispute. We are creating doubts in order to use them as distractions so we do not have to address the real issue, which may be something from our past we need to let go of.   Today’s caller, Jennifer, wants to find a reason she should not be dating her younger boyfriend. She says he is supportive and loyal, which are both things she believes she wants from a relationship, but she can’t seem to make herself trust that his feelings are real. As we drill down to the actual issue, Jennifer realizes she may be the one who is holding the relationship back and that it has nothing to do with age.  A special note to the coaches who are listening - if I had formed an opinion about the age gap in Jennifer’s relationship, we may have never gotten to the root issue, which is a core wound that needs healing. Coaches should be present and without judgment when working with clients. I invite all of you to join me in September for my retreat in Bali which will include meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the finest conversations with like-minded women. I will also be available for personal sessions. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join the festivities on September 16-22 and if you can’t make it to Bali, you can get information for my upcoming “LA weekend” retreat.     Consider/Ask Yourself: Have you been dating someone and would like to know if they are the right fit?  Is there something external about your partner that bothers you? Is there a question unrelated to dating which is distracting you by keeping your mind busy? Do you desire a love but as it gets closer you find yourself wanting to run away?   Jennifer’s Question: Jennifer is in a relationship with someone 10 years younger than she is, and she wants to make sure she is not taking advantage of his youth.   Jennifer’s Key Insights and Aha’s: Her boyfriend may be coming on too strong She attracts unavailable people She is holding anger towards her father She’s continually trying to fix herself   How to get over it and on with it: She should forgive her father Learn to release her emotions Find her own inner parent and give herself unconditional love Stop defining her relationship and open her heart to what she can learn   Tools and Takeaways: Journal about underlying issues and use sentence starters like ○ I really need to know the answer to this because... ○ I’m really wondering about this because... ○ If I had the answer to this question I would… Ditch the requirements checklist when looking for or judging a partner; instead focus on how you want to feel with that person Set up practices to assist you to integrate new disciplines and habits Attend one of my retreats Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link (Including my favorite, Alpha Brain)   Resources: Christine Hassler @christinhassler on twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com for retreat information