Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

This episode is about how to respond with curiosity to people who are not respecting you. Today’s caller, Mica, is looking for guidance on how they can change their response to become more empowered when it comes to people not using the preferred pronouns they have asked them to use. This call opens our awareness to non-binary individuals who like to be called they and them and not the traditional pronouns we may be used to and about how growing up in a restrictive environment impacts us as adults.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode387]   Identity, be it race, gender, or age, when we take it all out of the equation, all we are is love. Every single one of us is love. Often, it takes people who don’t fit into a mold to teach those who do fit in more of a mold that nothing matters but who someone’s essence is. Who we are as humans on this planet is just love and that’s it. That is what we all are here to learn.   What scares most of us about conflict is that we think we have to be confrontational. If we don’t attack we think our only other option is to retreat or we feel we either have to charge ahead or collapse. That is a very common dynamic. The goal is to respond to people that aren’t respecting you with curiosity versus confrontation.   Curiosity is powerful. It is one of the most underused responses and ways to be. When we approach people with curiosity, they are able to hear. It allows us to make direct requests of them from a place of vulnerability and authenticity.   The more we accept ourselves for who we are, the less oppression we face. It’s not that there isn’t oppression or people who don’t respect who we are. But, when we can really come into full self-acceptance, we can teach people how to treat us and respect us. We also aren’t letting our own nervous system get dysregulated due to someone else’s ignorance or stubbornness.   Are you a single lady who is looking for a gentleman? Are you ready to call in epic love? If so, join Christine and Stefanos for a free masterclass on Valentine’s Day, Feb. 14th, 2023 at 7:30 CST. Join live or get the recording at christinehassler.com/lovemasterclass.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Have you made requests of other individuals and they’re just not listening or they are not honoring your requests? When you are in times of conflict, do you have the tendency to either attack or retreat? Do you want to find a more empowered way to respond? Did you grow up in an oppressive household and you did anything you could to try to fit in? Do you want to feel a sense of freedom to be yourself and not care what anybody else thinks and move into a place of radical self-acceptance and be free?   Mica’s Question: Mica has felt friction when establishing the pronouns they prefer and would like guidance on how to deal with conflict.   Mica’s Key Insights and Ahas: They came out as non-binary. They find it stressful when people push back on them. They read tarot cards. They are an aspiring life coach. Their biological father was a tyrant in their life. They had to have a defensive posture. They feel unseen and unheard. They have been non-binary since childhood but tried to identify as female. They have had to prove who they are throughout their life. They know they are here to teach people how to love.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Approach conflicts with curiosity. Allow their nervous system to feel that people are safe. Know that they are allowed to ask for what they want and need. Feel confident in who they are, no matter what pronouns others use. Recognize when they are triggered and navigate their way through it differently. Radically accept themselves as love. Apologize to their younger self and free the part of them that felt stifled.   Takeaways: Move into self-acceptance and work with your rebel part and tell it that it is free. Tell it there is nothing to prove and it doesn’t have to fight.   Sponsor: Sensate — is an infrared resonance device that when paired with sessions in the companion app works towards reducing stress, and to improve well-being. It provides deep relaxation in 10‒30 minute sessions. It tones the vagus nerve. For $30 off your purchase, go to GetSensate.com and use the promo code OVERIT.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

One of my dear friends who is also an epic coach, speaker and author joins me to have a very intimate conversation about birth, death and so much more.    A little more about Dr Neeta....She is the founder of Global GRIT Institute, a wellness education platform for optimizing wellbeing, and cofounder of Dharma Coaching Institute, a coaching organization training coaches to become the highest versions of themselves. That Sucked, Now What? is a real-talk guide to personal growth that draws on embracing the suck while breaking through to lasting, audacious resilience.   You can access her free gifts at https://neetabhushan.com/book/

This episode is about breaking bad dating patterns. Today’s caller, Amber, is aware that she has a pattern of dating men with issues, but she is unsure how to shift it. She asks for guidance about why she continually calls in the same type of person and how she can change it. No matter what your relationship status, this call will help you to closely connect to your inner child to shift current-day issues.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode386]   Very few people in their childhood experience pure unconditional love. Most people have to come up with strategies to feel loved and they often never do feel love unconditionally. As a child, if our parents aren’t okay, we are not okay.   We all speak a language of love that often is not love. As children, it was the only way we knew to survive because we all need love and we all need to feel connected to our caretaker. We may think it is love but it is the only way we know how to relate.   We can drive ourselves crazy trying to deal with present-day issues, or trying to change something in the present but unless we find the root cause it is really hard to shift things. It is akin to having a chronic health problem. We try to find a functional medicine doctor to help us get to the root cause of our issue. If we don’t, we are just throwing medication and treatments at the symptoms. We never just want to treat the symptoms. We want to treat the root cause of our issues.   If you are in a relationship you know is not working or is not healthy. Get out of it and look for the root cause. Focus on being a partner and parent to yourself. Until we re-parent ourselves, we play out the patterns of our unmet needs. Until we become a great partner to ourselves we are not going to have the conscious partnership we truly desire.   Are you ready to find love and call in your person? If so, join the next Group Coaching Call on February 7th, 2023 at 7:30 pm CST. For only $20, Christine and Stefanos are providing live coaching. Go to ChristineHassler.com/group to sign up.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Did you have a parent that you had to parent or a parent that did not meet your needs? Do you have a pattern of rescuing people in relationships or do you call in partners that have a lot of issues? Do you want a conscious healthy relationship but you just don’t know how to shift the pattern that you are in? Do you know how to mother or father your inner child?   Amber’s Question: Amber has a pattern of dating partners with issues. She would like guidance on how to shift it to have a healthy, conscious relationship.   Amber’s Key Insights and Ahas: Her mother was emotionally unavailable. As a child, she felt she had to take on a parental role. She has been seeing a therapist. She is drawn to men she can nurture and protect. She dates men for a few months and then breaks up with them. She finds it hard to nurture her inner child. She feels that she does not deserve love.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Realize her dating patterns stem from her unmet childhood needs. Create a list of red flags and when those flags emerge in a new relationship, break up with the person. Mother herself so she does not feel the need to mother others. Understand that her mother was hurt and didn’t have the opportunity to heal herself. Connect with her inner child to help her feel love. Take a year off from dating.   Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — offers fabulous looking clean cooking. Caraway cookware is beautiful, easy to clean and use and it is non-toxic. The cookware and bakeware sets have a naturally slick ceramic surface. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the exclusive 10% off limited-time offer and use OVERIT at checkout.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Robert Waldinger joins me to talk about happiness - what it is, how we can be happy, myths about happiness and so much more. As a psychiatrist and the 4th director of the longest study on happiness, he is full of both wisdom and heart. He also invites you to a wonderful happiness challenge that I encourage you to take.   More about Robert... he is a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development at Massachusetts General Hospital, and cofounder of the Lifespan Research Foundation. Dr. Waldinger received his AB from Harvard College and his MD from Harvard Medical School. He is a practicing psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, and he directs a psychotherapy teaching program for Harvard psychiatry residents. He is also a Zen master (Roshi) and teaches meditation in New England and around the world. Robert is the co-author of the book The Good Life: Lessons From the World’s Longest Scientific Study on Happiness)

This episode is about getting over an unwanted breakup and so much more. Today’s caller, Nicole, was surprised when her husband of two years asked for a divorce citing different communication styles. She would like guidance on how to get over the breakup and how to use what she is learning about herself to heal her triggers.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode385]   When we grow up with the feeling of struggle, or we feel our parents struggle, we can’t just be kids. We can’t completely relax. So, in our adult relationships, we look for relief.   Other people can help us heal and can be amazing sources of support but no one can save us from ourselves. We can rely on people to hold space for us and they can be amazing support systems. But if we are always looking to someone else to fill a void, save us, help us, or end our struggles, then we never really embody the knowing that we can fill that void, or deal with that struggle ourselves. It is super empowering to know we can do that ourselves and know we don’t need to rely on someone else for love, stability, or safety.   The answers are never outside of ourselves. They are always found within.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you going through a change that you didn’t want and you’re having a hard time with it? Did you grow up struggling or was your family struggling, particularly your parents, and you find yourself struggling in life? Are you afraid you manifested “bad” things in life? Do you ever become someone that you’re not in order to get love?   Nicole’s Question: Nicole feels she manifested her divorce and would like guidance on how to get over it.   Nicole’s Key Insights and Ahas: She was shocked when her ex-husband of two years asked for a divorce. She feels she may have manifested the situation. She fears she may have sabotaged her relationship. Her childhood was filled with struggle and strife. She suppressed her true nature in the relationship. She feels that her ex is perfect and met every item on her checklist. She projected children into their future. She truly enjoyed the relationship. She feels the need to be her fiery self in a relationship. She has had to conform at other times in her life. She did everything she could to save her marriage. She doubts her abilities and doesn’t feel deserving. She feels that struggling has value and is a normal part of life. She put her ex-husband on a pedestal. She will go into learning mode, not victim mode.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Manage her reactivity and how she communicates her feelings. Feel joy, stability, and comfort within herself. Work with a coach, or counselor, to keep her on the healing path. Use her experience as a lesson to heal her triggers.   Sponsor: Sensate — is an infrared resonance device that when paired with sessions in the companion app works towards reducing stress, and to improve well-being. It provides deep relaxation in 10‒30 minute sessions. It tones the vagus nerve. For $30 off your purchase, go to GetSensate.com and use the promo code OVERIT.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

I'm delighted to have Erika back on the show to give all of you an energetic clearing (make sure to stay until the end of the podcast for that!)   Erika is an intuitive healer and channel that helps release beliefs and programs that keep us stuck. If you have done tons of personal development but still feel like things aren't shifting the way you desire, don't miss this episode!   You can book a session with Erika and learn more about her work and events here: https://www.erikaalaura.com/

This episode is about navigating a different path than your family. Today’s caller, George, grew up in a healthy family environment but always felt he was on a different spiritual path than the rest of his family. He asks for guidance about accepting differences and for practices to heal his inner child. If you are a generational pattern breaker, or if you are choosing a different path than the one your family is on, this episode offers guidance for you too.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode384]   For many generational pattern breakers, we are conflicted between our soul path and our family lineage. We are born knowing we are on a different path. We all come into life with our level of consciousness, the beliefs we adhere to, and our soul path. It may be difficult to understand when all the other members of a family are committed to something we may not be committed to. We have the family we are born into and then we find our soul family.   When we choose something different, it can feel terrifying to break out of the family norm. One of our survival needs is wired to our nervous system and the part of our nervous system that is connected to fight, flight, freeze, or fawn is belonging. When we sever any type of tie to family, even if we can logically understand it, it still wakes up our need for belonging. It can bring up feelings of guilt or shame.   We believe that our family should be the ones who know us best but sometimes they are not. And, that is okay. It doesn’t mean we can’t love them or have a relationship with them, it just means that we find our soul family in other places.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you feel like the outsider in your family or the generational pattern breaker? Have you made a choice your family doesn’t approve of? Is your family trying to fix you, trying to convince you to come back to their religion, business, or hometown? Do you feel like your own flesh and blood doesn’t really understand you?   George’s Question: George wants to know how to navigate and set boundaries within the relationship he has with his family.   George’s Key Insights and Ahas: He was raised in a Christian household yet his current spiritual path differs. He feels distant from his family. He wants his family to accept him for who he is. He asked his family to respect his spiritual journey. He had a healthy upbringing but felt misunderstood. He feels like an outsider for leaving the rural community that his family lives and worships in. He realizes he is living his life for himself and not his family. He is having a difficult time accepting that there are issues they will not be able to connect on. For a long time, he associated spirituality with the Christian religion. He is currently experiencing a higher level of spiritual growth. In some ways, he has always felt different and unique in his family. His inner child is reluctant to let his feelings go.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Know that the connection he wants with his family may not be possible. Understand no spiritual path is better, they are just different. Have a conversation with his inner child who didn’t feel understood and have compassion and love for himself. Enjoy his relationship with his family without talking about religion or spirituality. Practice dominant handwriting, the empty chair process, or journaling when talking with his inner child. Allow his spiritual practice to lead him through his experience.   Sponsor: Sensate — is an infrared resonance device that when paired with sessions in the companion app works towards reducing stress, improving well-being, and increasing high-quality sleep. It provides deep relaxation in 10‒30 minute sessions. It tones the vagus nerve. For $30 off your purchase, go to GetSensate.com and use the promo code OVERIT.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Dr. Cabral, a functional and naturopathic doctor, joins me again to talk about what truly keeps us healthy and how important is it to measure certain things in our body so we can PREVENT disease, aging and just feeling not great.   Listen to him analyze my results from a minerals and metals test and be one of the first to receive a FREE minerals and metals test plus analysis here: https://shop.stephencabral.com/over-it-on-with-it-free-lp003   More about Dr Cabral:   Dr. Cabral has more than 20 years in the natural health field, worldwide internships, dozens of certifications, and a doctoral degree in Naturopathy. He is the host of his top rated podcast, “The Cabral Concept” where he’s gotten over 30 million downloads. He has appeared in every type of media outlet as a national health & wellness consultant, as well as a contributor to MTV, Men’s Health, Women’s Day, Maxim, SELF, Diet.com, NutritionData, Conde Nast, and many others. He has also authored and co-authored 4 books including his #1 International Best Selling book, the Rain Barrel Effect, and has published over 1,100 articles. Dr. Cabral is the Founder & CEO of Equi.Life, a health & wellness company that offers At-Home Lab Testing, Coaching Calls with an IHP Certified Health Coach and over 125+ Supplements & Protocols. In addition, Dr. Cabral is the Founder & CEO of the Integrative Health Practitioner Institute where he has certified thousands of people all over the world as Integrative Health Practitioners so that they can heal themselves and heal others. 

This episode is about a pattern of withdrawal and doing deep work when you are not resourced. Today’s caller, Linet, is a sleep-deprived new mother who finds it difficult to express her emotions with her partner. When her partner expresses his feelings she feels judged. Christine guides Linet through ways she can use her current situation to heal the pains of the past and lean into love.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode383]   Oftentimes, when we are dealing with lower hormones, we can’t rely on biology. We need psychology and we need to use our heart. It is not the time to do deep work and bring up painful experiences from our past when we are sleep-deprived, hormonally challenged, or adjusting to major life changes.   If you are currently under-resourced it is not the time to dig deep into core wounding. Doing so can reactivate the trauma because you don’t have enough resources to hold you through the process. But, it could be the time to break patterns and choose more into experiences you wish you had as a child.   When it comes to pattern breaks it takes a commitment. Whether you are finding a way for your child or your inner child we have got to find a way to break a pattern. Patterns are patterns for a reason and breaking a pattern is a choice.   If we keep doing the same thing we keep getting the same results.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you have a pattern of withdrawing or related to the avoidant attachment style? Do you get angry at yourself or others but underneath you are just sad? When your partner comes to you being vulnerable, do you feel as if you have done something wrong? When they make a request of you, do you judge them or judge yourself? Do you want to break a pattern in your parenting? Would you like to be a different parent than the way you were parented?   Linet’s Question: Linet would like to express her concerns without sounding critical or judgmental and learn how to eliminate roadblocks in her relationships.   Linet’s Key Insights and Ahas: She has problems expressing her emotions. She feels angry, frustrated, and distant often. When her husband shares his emotions, she feels judged. Her relationship is 1.5 years old. She is a new mother and recently lost her libido during postpartum. She is hard on herself and has expectation hangovers. She isn’t sleeping well. She has had to hold it all together throughout her life. Intimacy frightens her. Her mother didn’t make her feel safe to share her emotions. She finds it easy to connect and nurture her daughter. When she withdraws, she wants to be loved. She is ready to break patterns. This is her first relationship that has lasted more than three months.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Have compassion for herself during major changes in her life. Practice leaning into love when she wants to withdraw. Avoid doing deep work until she is fully resourced. When she wants to withdraw, ask for a hug instead. Give little Linet the hugs she needs.   Sponsor: Air Doctor — is an air filter and air purifier that creates the healthiest environment in your home. It filters out dangerous contaminants and allergens with an ultra HEPA filter that removes 99.99% of tested bacteria and viruses. If you want to order an Air Doctor today with a 30-day money-back guarantee, go to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code “Overit” and get up to 35% off on selected models.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

  Layla Martin is a thought leader in the ever-emerging worlds of sexual wellness, Tantra, erotic empowerment, and personal development. As founder of the VITA™ Method, she’s been certifying professionals in a Tantric approach to Love, Sex, and Relationships for over 7 years and has taught over 12,000 paid clients. For 20 years, Layla traveled the world as a devoted student of Tantra, training with the most high-level teachers of this powerful tradition. She studied human sexuality, neuroscience, and biology at Stanford University, and immersed herself in the energetic traditions of Taoism and early witchcraft. Along the way, she personally curated a dynamic, holistic system from over 10,000 hours of practice that blends ancient traditions with modern techniques. The VITA™ Method is proven to help heal trauma, release limiting beliefs, and awaken life-changing levels of pleasure. You can learn more about her VITA certification program at christinehassler.com/layla