Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

This episode is about busting through limiting beliefs to get down to love and truth. Today’s caller, Andrew, finds himself at a challenging crossroads in his marriage. He would like to know how to be supportive of his wife after her recent cancer diagnosis without becoming a doormat.   There are many common, limiting beliefs when it comes to love and romance. One belief is the success of a relationship is based on the time it lasts. So, if there is a breakup or divorce, the relationship was considered a failure. Or, if you love someone, you must love them unconditionally and stay with them, for better or for worse, no matter what. Another limiting belief is, the purpose of a romantic relationship is to find THE one who completes you.   Diagnoses can be an opportunity for deep healing and transformation. Sometimes, what is for the highest good is not always the easiest or most obvious choice. It basically comes down to love and truth. People in a relationship can be growing at different speeds, but still along the same path.   Remember, spirituality is not tolerating people treating us the way they want to treat us. Love and truth go together. Self-honoring choices are often for the highest good of all, and that is the ultimate high road. We can love, encourage, support, and be an example for people, but we cannot save anyone else, that is up to them.   Would you like to raise your wealth consciousness? Another Group Coaching Call is coming. In it, we talk about money and prosperity. It is only $20 to join in on Tues. March 21st, 2023 at 7:30 pm CST. Don’t worry if you cannot make it live, it will be recorded. I will include a guided meditation and group coaching questions. Go to christinehassler.com/group to sign up.   Consider/Ask Yourself: What soul lessons are you currently learning from your relationship or relationship status? Are you making your relationship with yourself or your higher power a priority? Are any of your relationships at a point where you are growing in a different direction from each other? Do you wonder if being there for someone else in a supportive way is putting your own needs at risk? What is the difference between having a spiritual orientation to your relationship, and doing a spiritual bypass and becoming a bit of a doormat?   Andrew's Question: Andrew’s relationship is experiencing trials and tribulations. He would like to know how to spiritually cope with his wife’s recent thyroid cancer diagnosis.   Andrew's Key Insights and Ahas: His wife’s hormones have been elevated due to a thyroid problem. He feels spirituality calling him. It’s not his responsibility to save his wife. He has recently started a spiritual practice. He doesn’t believe his wife is a willing participant in the relationship. His current lesson may not yet be resolved. It is now up to him to re-parent himself.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Write his wife a letter to share what feels about her and how the diagnosis may be a wake-up call to stay committed to working on their relationship. Also, let her know he cannot do it alone. Hug his wife every day. Take 100% responsibility for his 50%.   Takeaways: Look back at your romantic relationships to see what lessons you have learned. Write down how each partner has been a soul mate. Nurture a relationship with a higher power. Do something intentional and devotional every day for someone you care about. If there is a difficult conversation you need to have, write a letter and either read the letter to the person or give it to them.   Sponsor: Cured Nutrition — What a difference a good night’s sleep makes. And, CBN Nighttime Oil with sleep support properties makes a good night’s sleep possible. Other Cured products include RISE, and ZEN to balance out well-being. Go to CuredNutrition.com/OVERIT to get 20% off your entire order.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.  

This is a very important conversation about how all of our devices both help and hinder our lives. Gloria Mark studies the impact of digital media on people's lives: their attention spans, multitasking, distraction, mood and behavior when they use their computers and smartphones. She also studies the future of work, and how remote work impacts how we use our devices. Dr Mark is Chancellor’s Professor ofInformatics at the University of California, Irvine and has been a visiting senior researcher at Microsoft Research since 2012.  She received her PhD from Columbia University in psychology. She regularly publishes in the top conferences and journals in her field. She was inducted into the ACM SIGCHI Academy in 2017 recognizing leaders in the field of human-computer interaction. She has presented her work at SXSW and the AspenIdeas Festival, and her work has appeared in The New York Times, Wall StreetJournal, NPR, The Atlantic, the BBC, and many others.

This episode is about shifting your external world while making internal changes. Today’s caller, Jenn, has been through transformational changes and believes she is confused about her work as a relationship coach. Anyone who is on the growth path will relate to this call in some way.   [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode391]   As we uncover and heal our issues, either in relationships or in the physical, we shift our vibration. Our energetic selves change, which creates a shift in what we’re attracted to and what we attract. Dis-ease and/or toxic relationships are heavy in energetic weight. As we heal, clear, and forgive, it shifts our vibration and creates changes in our outside world. Some changes happen naturally and some just give us an unsettling feeling about something not being right.   As we shift consciousness, our identity shifts and as it does it can feel confusing because our external life is not congruent with our internal life.   Just because you don’t have clarity about something or something doesn’t feel as fulfilling as it used to, doesn’t mean you are confused. You are in a time of change and transformation. For something to transform, it must go through a period of chaos and uncertainty. Don’t rush to figure it out — allow it to be revealed.   Are you a single lady who is looking for a gentleman? Are you ready to call in epic love? Find out more about the Be the Queen program, which began on February 28, 2023. It includes an in-person one-day retreat in San Diego on October 12, 2023, and the self-paced evergreen course at christinehassler.com/bethequeen or email Jill@christinehassler.com.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Is there some aspect of your life that doesn’t feel right, or just feels off? Have you healed a relationship or physical issue that has catalyzed wanting to make changes in other aspects of your life? Can you relate to being a chameleon to stay safe? Are you a people pleaser? Are you scared of being vulnerable or being seen?   Jenn’s Question: Jenn feels she has lost her inspiration and passion for her business. She wants to gain clarity about her coaching business.   Jenn’s Key Insights and Ahas: She had a falling out with her mother. She was physically ill. She internalizes her mother’s issues. She was a people pleaser and chameleon around her mother. She has always been there for others. Her relationship coaching feels shallow to her now. She’s committed to getting out of her head.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Bring more of her own voice into her business. Don’t underestimate the value she brings to her clients. Consider the way the people she appreciates share their stories. Share more of her emotional depths.   Takeaways: Get Expectation Hangover if you don’t have it already, and in the spiritual section do the lesson quest exercise under the role of the seeker. Take an inventory of your external life. Does it match your internal life? How can you be more vulnerable and honest? Think of the ways you are a people pleaser or play small. How can you step into a deeper level of authenticity? Where are you telling yourself you are confused when you are not? Can you allow yourself to be in uncertainty?   Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Inner Circle Membership Community @ChristinHassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Jill@ChristineHassler.com Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love, and Life, by Christine Hassler  

CC: Loving (and leaving) an addict with Dana Killion Dana Killion debut memoir, Where the Shadows Dance: He Got Sober. I Got Broken, explores her struggle as she became collateral damage in her husband’s self-destruction. After saving him, she realized she also needed to save herself. She is the author of the Andrea Kellner Mystery series.   You can pre-order her new book here

This episode is about why we may feel blah like nothing's wrong but it is not right either. Today’s caller, Judith, keeps herself busy to avoid things in her life and would like guidance on how to find a sense of purpose. If you have ever had a sense that nothing feels terribly wrong but nothing feels really right either, or you are not depressed and just feel blah, you will enjoy this episode.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode390]   So many people are operating with the sense that nothing is really wrong but nothing feels quite right either. Some may not even know that it’s not ideal to have a sense of malaise.   If you have a pattern or a way you’ve gotten love, fulfillment, attention, acknowledgment, recognition, etc., and you feel a sense of malaise, or that nothing’s wrong but nothing feels right either, it is usually an indicator that you are using some kind of behavior to give you a sense of fulfillment.   Try making a choice not to do something that gives yourself a sense of fulfillment because it’s a pattern or a reaction. Instead, consciously and intentionally choose to go in a direction that will enhance internal fulfillment. Because we cannot get true lasting internal fulfillment from external sources or external behavior.   Are you a single lady who is looking for a gentleman? Are you ready to call in epic love? Find out more about the Be the Queen program, which began on February 28, 2023. It includes an in-person one-day retreat in San Diego on October 12, 2023, and the self-paced evergreen course at christinehassler.com/bethequeen or email Jill@christinehassler.com.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Have you had a good life? Nothing bad has happened but you don’t feel a sense of fulfillment? Are you the kind of person that gets fulfilled from doing and if you’re not doing anything then you’re looking for that sense of fulfillment? Did you have to grow up early and even though you didn't have a “bad” childhood you had a childhood that was interrupted a little too soon? Do you have an inward sense of purpose? Do you feel connected to something bigger than you, a sense of spirituality that can hold you in those times when nothing outside of you is bringing you fulfillment?   Judith’s Question: Judith is at a crossroads and would like guidance on how to overcome a feeling of general malaise.   Judith’s Key Insights and Ahas: She feels a sense of general malaise. She didn’t have any major traumas in her life. Nothing feels wrong but nothing feels right either. She feels her purpose is to give energy to people and events. She makes herself busy when she is avoiding something. She felt she was the glue that held her family together in childhood. She often would like someone to take care of her. She is a recovering codependent. She didn’t have catastrophic events in her life. She is always curious to learn. She is a therapist. She appreciates the journey aspect of life.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Learn how to have a sense of purpose without “doing” anything. Start a spiritual journey to find a sense of purpose and meaning deep within. Join the Inner Child Workshop. Make a list of 3‒5 songs that change her state of being and listen to it when she feels blah.   Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — is good-looking clean cooking. Caraway products are beautiful, easy to clean and use, and it is non-toxic. The cookware and bakeware sets have a naturally slick ceramic surface. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the exclusive 10% off on their full suite of products, including their new food storage sets. Be sure to use OVERIT at checkout.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Melody Wilding is the best-selling author of Trust Yourself: Stop Overthinking and Channel Your Emotions for Success at Work. Named one of Business Insider’s Most Innovative Coaches for her groundbreaking work on “Sensitive Strivers”, her clients include CEOs, C-level executives, and managers at top Fortune 500 companies such as Google, Amazon, and JP Morgan, among others. Melody has been featured in The New York Times and Wall Street Journal and is a contributor to Harvard Business Review, Fast Company, Psychology Today, and Forbes. Melody is a licensed social worker with a masters from Columbia University and a professor of Human Behavior at Hunter College. Learn more at melodywilding.com

This episode is about how to find a sense of home, safety, and security without being codependent. Today’s caller, Stephania, gets low when going through rough patches and would like some tools to find safety and security within herself. Christine offers ways she can regulate her nervous system to find peace.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode389]   Wanting to feel like home translates into how to feel more regulated inside. How to not be in the fight-or-flight part of our nervous system and settle into rest-and-digest. When we think of the metaphor of home, the feeling of home is safe, nourishing, relaxing, and fulfilling. At home, we know we are always going to have a full belly and a warm heart. That happens inside when we are in that more rested part of our nervous system.   Finding our sense of home is doing the work and asking ourselves questions, but it is also about a consistent practice of knowing when we are dysregulated, aka triggered. So, when we’re in our heads, our heart is beating fast, our stomach is in knots, and we are reactive and time-traveling. Something in the present is triggering us more than it needs to and reminds us of something in the past. When we are in a dysregulated state it’s the practice of finding tools to bring us back into our body to regulate our nervous system.   If a person changes because they have shame or judgment about a behavior versus if a person changes because they have compassion for their wounding and they want to feel peace; the latter change lasts.   Are you a single lady who is looking for a gentleman? Are you ready to call in epic love? Find out more about the Be the Queen program, which begins on February 28, 2023. It includes an in-person one-day retreat in San Diego on October 12, 2023, and the self-paced evergreen course at christinehassler.com/bethequeen or email Jill@christinehassler.com.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you have a history of having an anxious attachment style? Do you feel like you put everyone else’s needs before yours? Do you feel dysregulated or triggered often, perhaps even jealous? Did you lack a parent who nurtured and loved you? Did you know that at least one of your parents, particularly your mother, loved you unconditionally?   Stephania’s Question: Stephania asks for tools to help her find safety within herself.   Stephania’s Key Insights and Ahas: She searches outside herself for safety and security. She is a people pleaser. She creates safety within her relationships with other people. She is aware of her codependent tendencies. Messages on her partner’s phone triggered her. She and her partner are going to couples therapy. She doesn’t know how to be compassionate with herself. She is sad because her mother didn’t give her compassion. She didn’t feel love from her mother and has been trying to fill the void.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Regulate her nervous system. Take ownership of her tendencies and patterns without shame or judgment. She doesn’t need to fix anything to make her lovable. Speak the language of love to herself. Tap into the mother archetype to embody what being a mother truly means.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

My husband joins me today as we talk about my journey to calling him in after nearly a decade of being VERY single after my divorce. We offer both insight and some practical advice on how women can attract healthy men who are worthy of their hearts.    Stef and I also share about one of our favorite programs, "Be the Queen" which starts this month.  You can learn more and join us at https://christinehassler.com/bethequeen/

This episode is about reclaiming lost aspects of ourselves. Today’s caller, Michael, feels lost. He keeps checking things off his list and achieving his goals but lacks purpose and satisfaction in life. Christine offers guidance about how he can reclaim the childhood parts of himself that were buried long ago.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode388]   It doesn’t matter whether we are gay or we are too tall, too thin, or we have the wrong skin color, whatever it is, as children, most of us fundamentally decide there is something wrong with us. It is at that point where our freedom, childish curiosity, wonderment, innocence, creativity, and radical self-acceptance dies. The second we are shamed for a part of who we are, it's like a part of us dies inside.   When our childlike parts that are full of life and authenticity get cut off, we feel dead inside and lost because those parts were huge parts of our life. It’s like a car with no steering wheel. Good luck getting around anywhere. You can sit in it, rev the engine, and play a radio but you can’t go anywhere.   We are not always consciously aware that we carry around the grief of the childhood parts of us that were not fully expressed. And, we will always feel lost if there is a part of us that is missing. As adults, we search for something to make that part of us feel alive again. We crave reclamation.   Sometimes we desperately fight for what we want without knowing that we are fighting for it. We are always looking for safety. Whatever we are looking for outside of us has to be found inside.   Are you a single lady who is looking for a gentleman? Are you ready to call in epic love? If so, Christine and Stefanos held a free masterclass on Valentine’s Day. Get the recording at christinehassler.com/lovemasterclass. And, find out more about the Be the Queen program, which includes an in-person one-day retreat and a self-paced recorded option at christinehassler.com/bethequeen or e-mail Jill@christinehassler.com.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Did you have to morph yourself as a child in order to be accepted or to feel not so different? Did people say they accepted you but inside you always felt different? Have you climbed a lot of mountains, gone to the summit, looked around, and said “wait a second, this is it?” and now you’re looking for your next mountain to climb? Have you ever dealt with depression, feeling low in the deep dark nights of the soul, or considered ending your life?   Michael’s Question: Michael feels lost and would like guidance about how to reclaim freedom and purpose.   Michael’s Key Insights and Ahas: He has completed the Personal Mastery program. He has been through ups and downs in his life. He used to have vision and purpose but doesn’t feel them any longer. He has experienced bouts of severe depression. He didn’t feel like he belonged with boys or girls as a child. His coping strategy is suppression. He searches out role models. He overshares with people he trusts. He is looking for something outside of himself. He felt ashamed of being gay. He yearns to be seen for who he truly is. He sabotaged himself in order to force change. He numbed himself for most of his adult life. He reads tarot cards.   How to Get Over It and On With It: He needs to liberate and fully express himself. Stop looking for something to do and commit to reclaiming his lost self to give himself the childhood he didn’t have. Learn to channel his creativity, energy, and sensitivity.   Takeaways: Join the Personal Mastery program. What parts of yourself do you need to reclaim? It is time for them to come alive again, so you can come alive again. Sponsor: Sensate — is an infrared resonance device that when paired with sessions in the companion app works towards reducing stress, and to improve well-being. It provides deep relaxation in 10‒30 minute sessions. It tones the vagus nerve. For $30 off your purchase, go to GetSensate.com and use the promo code OVERIT.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.  

Devin Burke is an international and TEDx speaker, the bestselling author of “The Sleep Advantage,” the founder of Sleep Science Academy, and one of the top health and sleeps coaches in the world. His books, keynotes, programs, and videos have inspired thousands of people to improve their sleep, energy, and life.   His mission is to give the 40+ million people who suffer from poor sleep the tools and support they need to stop suffering and start sleeping as quickly as possible.