Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

I talk quite a bit on the show about how important it is to release our anger in a healthy way. In today's episode I walk you through how to do one of my favorite and most empowering exercises - an anger burn!    If you aren't quite ready for an anger burn, then starting by writing f*** you letters is a great way to process anger. You can listen to the episode I did about that here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/over-it-and-on-with-it/id1050321415?i=1000620283017

This coaching call is about giving ourselves the time to be where we are, even if we don’t like it. Today’s caller, Maria, has suffered recent losses. It is causing past grief to surface. She asks Christine for guidance on how to tone down her hyper-vigilance and move through the grief she is experiencing.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode427].   Many of us get our idea of what a mother is based on our mother, the media, or other things that are so far off from what a mother actually is. A mother is not a martyr, not someone who sacrifices everything, has no life, or no sense of herself. It is also not abandoning a child, either physically or emotionally, because she’s so caught up in her own trauma.   A mother is being a loving, nurturing model of what a healthy nervous system looks like, what nurturing looks like, what unconditional love looks like, what acceptance looks like, what boundaries look like, and what soothing looks like.   When we are in a phase in life where we are still working out subconscious patterns and wounding, it is impossible to see red flags. If you are beating yourself up for red flags you didn’t see in situations, especially partnerships, please forgive yourself. You had to be in those relationships to wake up! Remember, we are naturally attracted to our dysfunction. We are naturally attracted to people who remind us of the parents who didn’t give us what we wanted.   Please forgive yourself. You can see the red flags now because you have done work. You couldn’t see them before. Give yourself a break. Self-beat has no place in healing. Give yourself that mothering or parental nurturing love that you so deserve. Sometimes it is not time to do the “work.” The work is nurturing, regulating, and resourcing ourselves.   Christine wants to hear from you! She is considering making some changes to the show, and she wants your feedback. Go to ChristineHassler.com/survey to answer a few questions about the podcast, and if you include your name and email, you will be entered into a raffle to win a 30-minute coaching session with Christine.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Have you recently gone through loss and grief that have triggered other loss or grief? Are you in a phase of overwhelm by how much you feel you have to process? Did you not have the childhood or the parent you deeply desired? Have you ignored red flags in relationships only now, in hindsight, they are clear as day?   Maria’s Question: Maria has experienced a lot of loss recently and is looking for guidance on how to move through the grief.   Maria’s Key Insights and Ahas: She feels emotionally malnourished. Her recent pregnancy and relationship losses are bringing up past grief. She feels unsafe and hyper-vigilant. She feels challenged to express herself or to be joyful. Her mother passed away three years ago. Her mother was emotionally unavailable and detached. She feels overwhelmed, and her sense of self is out of balance. Memories of her childhood feelings are surfacing and mixing with her grief. She wanted intimacy from her mother and her relationships. She longs for connection. She did not have the ability to discern red flags. She is consciously single now. She is a doula who has a deep connection to motherhood.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Have compassion and awareness for the season of life she is in now. Know that her soul baby is holding space for her to be ready for a beautiful, healthy relationship. Give herself the love and the nurturing she wanted from her parents. Allow herself to be resourced.   Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. The new stainless steel cookware set is a must-have. To take advantage of a limited-time offer for listeners of this podcast, go to CarawayHome.com/Overit or use the promo code OVERIT at checkout. Get a discount on a stylish gift for your home or friends and family for the holidays.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Known as The Enlightened Entrepreneur, Elizabeth Canon champions a new approach to entrepreneurship for women—out of the pressure cooker and onto a path that is more sustainable, life-giving and prosperous. Many years ago, Elizabeth became an entrepreneur for freedom, but a few years into running her company realized she felt trapped in the business she had created. On the outside, she was successful, but inside she was lacking a sense of deeper satisfaction. This launched her on a self-directed journey where she invested the equivalent of a Harvard MBA in her own growth and personal discovery. Along the way she learned how to apply what she was finding to her business. Now, as a Master Coach, Elizabeth helps other women step onto their own paths of enlightened entrepreneurship, so they can grow their businesses without sacrificing what matters most in their lives. Because when you do this, you create a level of success, a business—and a life, that is all your own.

This coaching call is about breaking the childhood patterns that show up in relationships. Today’s caller, Oliver, struggles to embody his power and set boundaries when he is triggered in relationships. He asks for guidance on how to break and grow beyond survival patterns.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode426].   Many of us can relate to being our current age but in certain situations, we act in a way that is sabotaging, embarrassing, or doesn’t get us what we want. Why do we act like this? Because there is often inner child wounding and programming at play.   Survival patterns are tricky to change and they can hang on for a long time because a large portion of them are subconscious. Often, we have to duplicate our parental family of origin situation to wake up and transform our survival patterns. It is a necessary part of evolution. It doesn’t matter how much awareness we have, we have to walk through a situation to heal it.   It is hard work and often thankless work when we are the pattern breakers in our family. If we don’t have role models at home, we have to add in new programming. Watching movies, reading books, writing it out, or spending time with others to gain examples of what healthy relationships look like is important.   There are things we heal, and then there are some things that take a bit more time. The evolution, the moving out of fear, judgment, beliefs, and pain into love, is ongoing. The next time you feel that you have dealt with something before, or have awareness about something, get more curious about it.   The work is never done. We are always learning and growing.   Christine wants to hear from you! She is considering making some changes to the show, and she wants your feedback. Go to ChristineHassler.com/survey to answer a few questions about the podcast, and if you include your name and email you will be entered in a raffle to win a 30 min. coaching session with Christine.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you notice you have patterns in relationships that you don’t like and want to change? When you were growing up, did you have healthy relationships modeled for you? When you were growing up, did you have healthy parents or a healthy parent that raised you? Are you someone that has done a lot of work and you know a lot of things, but you wish things were changing a little more?   Oliver’s Question: Oliver struggles with a recurring pattern of sabotaging his relationships.   Oliver’s Key Insights and Ahas: He is a recently divorced, single parent of two small children. He is aware his pattern came from his mother. His ex triggers his pattern and he freezes when confronted. He gives his power away when confronted. A portion of his development was stunted. His mother was diagnosed as borderline and unpredictable. He has done some inner child work but still has blind spots. He is a therapist. His feelings and emotions have been surfacing since his divorce. He feels he holds power and has clear boundaries in other areas of his life. His father is a public figure in his home country. His mother physically beat the children. He wanted his father to protect him against his mother. It is difficult for him to show anger. He can get stuck in self-analysis. He is a generational pattern breaker.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Drop any expectation that this pattern is simple to change. Center himself and reassure his inner child that he has matured and can take care of himself now. Discover and write out what masculinity means to him and what healthy masculinity looks like in a relationship. Get between his inner child and women with tendencies like his mother and separate himself from his inner child. Tap into his protective “papa bear” energy and unleash his anger. Listen to the Coaches Corner: Internal Family Systems podcast with Dr. Richard Schwartz.   Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. The new stainless steel cookware set is a must-have. To take advantage of a limited-time offer for listeners of this podcast, go to CarawayHome.com/Overit or use the promo code OVERIT at checkout. Get a discount on a stylish gift for your home or friends and family for the holidays.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

We are all leaders, no matter what our job is. And we all have leadership styles that may or may not be the most aligned or effective. Dr. Kirstin Ferguson joins to discuss how we can lead others and ourselves from a place of love.  She is a prominent leadership expert and a highly experienced business leader in her own right. Beginning her career as an officer in the Royal Australian Air Force, Kirstin has held roles that have included CEO of an International consulting firm and was appointed acting chair and deputy chair of the Australia Broadcasting Corporation by the Australian Prime Minister. She holds a PhD in Leadership and is an adjunct professor at QUT business school. 

This coaching call is about understanding the reason we may be doubting a relationship. Today’s caller, Sammie, has doubts about her relationship and is wondering if she should stay in it. Christine guides her to change her perception and look at the situation differently.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode425].   There are many people who would be better off by leaving relationships or situations, but they decide to stay. They only stick around because the devil they know is often better than the devil they don’t. They feel there is no risk in staying in the relationship because it is familiar.   Then, there are those who probably “should” hang in there a while longer, or stick it out to see what happens, but they run sooner.   We need to work on switching those things around so that when we know something is toxic or not for us, we can make a conscious decision to leave. Or, when we are not totally sure, we see some great things about a relationship, but there is also a part of us that wants to run because the intimacy feels scary. But that is the point in a relationship when it could offer us great learning and healing if we could just stick it out.   Is your pattern to stick it out too long or to run too soon? If you are sticking it out too long, maybe it is time to go. If you are running too soon, maybe it is time to stay. Be honest with yourself when you are looking for a reason to get out of a relationship.   Christine is considering making some changes to the show and she wants your feedback. Go to christinehassler.com/survey to answer questions about the podcast and if you include your name and email you will be entered in a raffle to win a 30 min. coaching session with Christine!   Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you in a situation, relationship, or friendship, and you are questioning whether you are in it for the “right” reasons? Are you in a friendship or relationship and think you should end it because you don’t want to lead the person on or you don’t want to hurt feelings? Do you relate to having an avoidant attachment style? Are you the person in a relationship that when it gets too intimate or too close, you start to pull back? Do you have a deep insecurity about something in your life and think you have to settle because of it?   Sammie’s Question: Sammie questions if her current relationship is right for her based on her boyfriend’s physical disability.   Sammie’s Key Insights and Ahas: She feels safe in her current relationship and believes it is a healthy one. She questions how her boyfriend’s spinal cord injury will impact their future together. She is unsure if the relationship will lead her into a caretaker role. She does not have prior experience to guide her through her uncertainty. She is hopeful about the future of the relationship. She admires the relationship her boyfriend has with his ex. She joined a support group for people in relationships with people who have spinal cord injuries. She is asking legitimate questions. She becomes critical in relationships. She has never had a relationship with this level of stability. She doesn’t believe she could have attracted someone so healthy. She has a fearful-avoidant attachment style. She is insecure about where she is in her life.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Be 100% honest with her boyfriend. Practice self-acceptance. Lean into the invitation to love and intimacy.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Sarah Jenks is an ordained Priestess in the 13 Moon Mystery School. Sarah thought she was destined to have an “in the box” life after going to a top college, working in advertising, and then creating a successful emotional eating company. One day she walked into her therapist’s office where the remnants of a sacred circle from the night before were strewn on the living room floor. She had a full body “Remembering” of being in ceremony. Since that day she’s been devoted to her own sacred practice and Temple skills and has devoted her life to creating spaces for women to have their own remembering. Sarah’s work is centered around integrating Sacred Feminine wisdom and ceremony into our everyday lives, so that we can create the most rich, sexy, fun and meaningful existence. She offers mentorship programs and sacred council around the body, marriage, motherhood, and work, and runs an incredible monthly membership community where women and non-binary people come together for moonly ceremonies, astrology oracles, and lessons on the nuts and bolts of what it means to have a Sacred Feminine life.  Links discussed in this episode:  Three day re-birth event: www.christinehassler.com/Sarah  Holy Woman: https://sarahjenks.com/holywoman?orid=169926&opid=46 Sacred Start guide Marriage Reset Priestess Presence- https://priestesspresence.com/trainings/?oprid=13245&ref=13531

This coaching call is about reframing a situation to help make a change. Today’s caller, Lori, is settling and staying in a situation that isn’t what she wants, deserves, or values, out of fear of making a change. Christine offers guidance about how she can raise the bar, work through old patterns, and have the life she deserves.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode424].   Part of breaking a pattern and stepping into worthiness is not perceiving something as uprooting, or upheaval but as raising the bar of what we will tolerate in life.   As children, we didn’t have the choice to choose for ourselves. So, trauma sits in our nervous system because we were never allowed to feel our feelings in a safe and compassionate way. The trauma is never expressed so it gets locked in and begins to form a pattern. We can’t heal something till it’s in our face and we can give ourselves the love, compassion, patience, and support that we didn’t have as a child.   Breaking a pattern isn’t just about making a change, it is about how we are with ourselves while we are making the change. The best way to learn and change a pattern is when we are smack dab in the middle of it but with a coach, or someone to help us break the pattern.   If you are in a situation where you are settling and you want to make a change and it seems daunting, reframe how you are looking at the situation. If you see the situation as Mt. Everest, it will seem like it is hard to overcome. But, look at the issue as a way to increase your life satisfaction, rather than settling for a life that is based on your patterning. It may be difficult to make the change, but perceptions and beliefs about anything dramatically influence how we experience it.   Are you ready to be coached by Christine? If you are, there are three one-on-one coaching opportunities available now. Go to ChristineHassler.com and click on the coaching tab or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com for more information.   Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you in a situation that isn’t ideal, maybe even unhealthy, but the devil you know is worse than the one you don’t? When it comes to relationships, do you have trouble speaking your voice? When it comes to making a change do you generally feel that it’s going to be hard and have trouble getting motivated or inspired to make the change? Do you see yourself as a failure and shame yourself because things haven’t worked out and you compare yourself to other people who you deem or judge as successful?   Lori’s Question: Lori recently discovered her partner was sending flirty messages to another woman and is unsure what to do about it.   Lori’s Key Insights and Ahas: She recently bought a house with her partner of two years. She found flirty text messages on her partner’s phone to another woman. Her intuition is sending her messages. She has trouble finding her voice to confront him about the texts. Her partner was defensive and didn’t really acknowledge her pain. It drains her to think about dismantling the relationship. She feels like a failure. She compares herself to others. She doesn’t want to be in the relationship any longer. She fears uprooting her life. She doesn’t feel safe communicating in her relationship. She doesn’t have compassion for her inner child when she sees herself as a failure. She has an abandonment wound.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Know she doesn’t have to do it alone. Speak with a coach or therapist. Be gentle and compassionate with herself while she goes through the process of changing her patterns. Recognize she is healing a deep father wound. Raise the bar on what she is able to accept for herself.   Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, and easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a chemical-free slick coating. The new stainless steel cookware set is a must-have. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the limited-time offer of 10% off on your next purchase or by using the promo code OVERIT at checkout.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.  

My longtime friend and the #1 resource I recommend when it comes to shifting your relationship with money, Kate Northrup, joins me today for an insightful and inspiring conversation about money. As an entrepreneur, bestselling author, and mother, Kate Northrup has built a multimedia digital platform called The Origin Company that reaches hundreds of thousands globally. She’s committed to supporting ambitious women to light up the world without burning themselves out. Kate teaches data and soul-driven time and energy management practices that result in saving time, making more money, and experiencing less stress. She’s the author of Money: A Love Story and Do Less and the creator of the Do Less Planner System. Kate’s work has been featured by Oprah Daily, The Today Show, Yahoo! Finance, Women’s Health, Glamour, The NY Times, Harvard Business Review, and more. She lives with her husband and their daughters in Miami. You can access her FREE workshop “Plenty” which will help you Clear Your Money Blocks and Discover True Prosperity While Positively Impacting the World here: Christinehassler.com/relaxedmoney

This coaching call is about old triggers in new situations. Today’s caller, Manpreet, is dating someone new and would like guidance on how to keep old triggers out of her new relationship. She has done healing work and is drawing what she wants into her life, but is frustrated when old patterns reemerge.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode423].   When women suffer abuse at the hands of, for this example, men, we can project on all men that they’re scary. Women can feel scared to trust men because one man or several men hurt them. So, we want to separate the behavior from the gender, from the person, from the way they look, and know that it was someone else’s behavior and not all men behave like that.   Because there has to be a disconnection, or disassociation from our sexuality in order for us to survive abuse, we often open up physically or emotionally to people before we are ready as a way to get power over the situation.   As adults, we have the gift of being able to ask ourselves what we couldn’t do or say when we were little that we can do or say now. We can speak up. We can get out of a situation, we can fight back. We can take our power back.   Also, when we share vulnerability too soon we may get hurt and it might not be received in the way that we want because there hasn’t been enough rapport, trust, or time there. So in new relationships, or friendships especially intimate relationships, a lot can be triggered. That’s why it is so helpful to have a professional or trusted friend to bounce things off of and get some perspective. Then we can come into new relationships with honesty and the knowing that vulnerability comes later. It gives a relationship more of a chance.   Consider/Ask Yourself: When something new comes into your life, do you sabotage it because old stuff comes up? Did you grow up not feeling safe, specifically if you are female do you not feel safe around men? Have you done the vulnerability vomit thing too early in a friendship or romantic relationship and it has backfired? Do you feel that you can truly ask for what you need and that you are lovable?   Manpreet’s Question: Manpreet would like to be more in her goddess energy and learn to be more open to receiving more in relationships.   Manpreet’s Key Insights and Ahas: Men often show physical interest in her immediately. She has drawn in someone who treats her with respect. She overshares her insecurities with new people quickly. The man she is interested in says he will walk away if she continues to worry about where the relationship is headed. She panics in fear when thinking about whether he will accept her. She finds it easier to use physical manipulation to get what she wants. She attended the Be the Queen program. She feels that masculine, or men have the power and she has no control over situations. She was abused by male family members. She projects her abusive uncle’s behavior onto other men. She can speak up for what she wants now. Deep down her fear is about whether she is lovable. She is scared because someone wants to see her for who she really is. She wonders if she is good enough. The healing work she is doing is drawing in things she wants for herself. She wants to have conversations from an empowered place, not a wounded place. She knows her worth isn’t tied to anyone but herself.   How to Get Over It and On With It: Bring herself into the present moment to separate behaviors from gender. Ask herself what she couldn’t say, be, or do when she was a little girl that she can be, say, or do now. Talk with her coach about her feelings and how to process them. Send voicemails or texts to herself, or a trusted friend first to get some perspective.   Sponsor: Air Doctor — is an air filter and air purifier that creates the healthiest environment in your home. It filters out dangerous contaminants and allergens with an ultra HEPA filter that removes 99.99% of tested bacteria and viruses. If you want to order an Air Doctor today with a 30-day money-back guarantee, go to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code “Overit” and get up to 39% or $300 off on selected models. My podcast listeners get a free 3-year warranty on any unit.   Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.