

Keep Talking
Dan Riley
"Keep Talking" exists to have conversations that might help to make a better society and a better culture. I believe that each guest has important information and stories to make public. And it's something that I want to share.
Episodes
Mentioned books

Jul 7, 2023 • 60min
Episode 82: Ed Hagen - The Evolutionary Basis of Mental Illness
Ed Hagen, a professor of anthropology, discusses the evolutionary reasons for anxiety and depression, highlighting the correlation between grip strength and depression, hypervigilance and anxiety, and the differences in suicide rates between men and women. He challenges the common view of psychological ill-health as a chemical imbalance and encourages a deeper understanding using an evolutionary lens.

Jun 23, 2023 • 60min
Episode 81: William Irvine - Lessons from the Stoics
William Irvine was a professor at Wright State University and is the author of seven books, including his best-seller, "A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy." During our conversation, Bill talks about the history of the Stoics, an ancient school of philosophy that began in Athens in 300 B.C. He also talks about the psychological training that the Stoics encouraged, including negative visualization, a practice aimed at reducing the human tendency for insatiability and increasing our gratitude for the many gifts of our lives.Bill's book helped to launch the modern renaissance of Stoicism. The Stoic's message - including those of Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, Epictetus, and Musonius Rufus - emphasized the importance of intentional struggle and temporary hardship, to align one's body and one's mind with the reality of life itself. This message is evergreen in creating resilient and capable people, and ever more important in our increasingly super-convenient, super-addicted "Brave New World."Stoicism reminds me of a quote from Veritas Savannah:“Prepare your child for the road, not the road for your child.”------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Show notesRate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------(00:00) Intro (02:09) How "A Guide to the Good Life" came to be (10:01) Who were the Stoics? (16:19) The modern Stoic Renaissance (21:49) Negative visualization (29:57) Insatiability and the importance of struggle (38:09) Marcus Aurelius and expecting hardship (39:47) Modern technology and the rise of Stoicism (44:47) What would the Stoics say to modern people? (50:44) Tools from the Stoics to toughen up

Jun 9, 2023 • 59min
Episode 80: Marc Schulz - How To Have A Flourishing Life
Marc Schulz is a professor of psychology at Bryn Mawr college, is the Associate Director of the Harvard Study of Human Development, and is the co-author of the book "The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness."During our conversation, Marc talks about the key insight from the longest study ever done on human flourishing: that good relationships are the most important factor in a thriving life. He also discusses what a good relationship means, how good relationships provide us protection from the vicissitudes of life, the ideal number of friends, Robert Putnam's book "Bowling Alone" and the epidemic of modern loneliness, and how our culture distracts us from properly prioritizing what actually makes us healthy and happy.I feel like the truth of this book is hiding in plain sight: we all know that great friends and enduring connections are treasures, but it's easy to get distracted and lethargic. I hope this work can be a clarifier for us all, and a reminder to be more people-focused, to be a bit more socially generous, and a bit more worthy of having terrific people in our lives.------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Show notesRate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------(00:00) Intro(03:11) The Harvard Study of Human Development(06:11) An extensive study of human thriving(07:57) What the study discovered(10:06) What are good relationships?(12:05) Relationships provide protection(16:18) Avoiding toxic relationships(20:38) Rules of thumb regarding toxic relationships(23:58) Modern loneliness(26:51) COVID may have changed our Big 5 personality averages(29:40) Social fitness(33:14) How society discourages focusing on our relationships(37:18) Marc's advice to prioritize relationships(42:03) Stories from the book that resonate(46:48) Marc's advice about ambition to his students(50:33) What are the best number of friends to have?(54:03) Choosing an intimate partner and the importance of friendship

May 26, 2023 • 1h 6min
Episode 79: Roy Baumeister - How Women Shaped Men
Roy Baumeister is a social psychologist, a professor at Florida State University, and the author of many books, including "Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength." During our conversation, Roy speaks at length on a variety of fascinating topics: how and why male homosexuality may have survived through evolution, differences in male and female sexuality, hunter-gatherer parenting styles, marriage and sex, how women have shaped men, the "tragedy of the male sex drive," whether free will exists, and how we might approach our nature with a degree of self-awareness and wisdom.Roy is a brilliant writer, a prolific polymath, and someone who is admired and respected by many who have been on this show.------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Show notesRate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------(00:00) Intro (02:31) How are there gay people? (07:06) Ideal lifetime sex partners for men vs. women (08:38) The tragedy of the male sex drive (14:49) Lessons from "Too Many Women" (19:41) Quotes from Roy about men and women (23:45) Lesson from Helen Fisher (27:51) The effect of human babies being born prematurely (36:56) Sex, marriage, and "The Sex Diaries"(41:47) Is the expectation of lifelong monogamy unwise? (47:21) Quotes from Roy about willpower (49:06) Does free will exist? (1:00:21) How has evolutionary psychology effected Roy?

May 12, 2023 • 60min
Episode 78: Orna Donath - Regretting Motherhood
Israeli sociologist Orna Donath discusses her landmark book 'Regretting Motherhood' and the taboo surrounding women who regret becoming mothers. She explores the difference between regret and ambivalence, the shame and secrecy women face, and the societal pressure surrounding parenthood. This conversation sheds light on the experiences of women who regret being mothers and aims to remove the stigma surrounding alternative choices.

Apr 28, 2023 • 60min
Episode 77: Joyce Benenson - The Differences Between Men and Women
Joyce Benenson discusses sex differences in competition, human hierarchies, male vs. female psyche, and debunking myths about men and women. She explores female intra-sexual competition strategies and challenges traditional gender roles in evolutionary psychology.

Apr 14, 2023 • 1h 11min
Episode 76: Tania Reynolds - How Women Compete for Men
Tania Reynolds is a scientist, a researcher, and an assistant professor of evolution and development at the University of New Mexico. During our conversation, Tania explains the field of evolutionary psychology, the evolutionary history and culture of hunter-gatherer societies, what we know about how women compete for men, the role and purpose of gossip in female social life and competition, the importance of finding high-quality men for women, why women are driven to find super-nice friends, and why equality is often so important to female relationships.As I have mentioned on this show, I think the field of evolutionary psychology is the most fascinating and revelatory area of research in modern science. Tania's career is just beginning, and to me, she is focusing on the subjects that attempt to accurately explain human nature, why we are the way we are. I loved this conversation and all of the taboo, politically incorrect, and humbling topics we discuss.Robert Greene has noted that we often like to think that we are descended from angels, not from primates. I think understanding our animal nature, our hardwired tendencies, can help us be more compassionate towards other fellow, flawed apes, more honest with ourselves, and more capable of acclimating our lives to flourish with this reality.------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Show notesRate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------(00:00) Intro(02:51) What is evolutionary psychology?(06:16) Why is ev psych interesting?(09:18) What women want: high-quality men(18:16) Patrilocal social groups and women(21:51) Female friends: coalitional partner in reputational warfare(28:50) Female reputational competition and manipulation(37:40) The influence of sex ratios on dating cultures(44:21) Tania's advice for young men(50:00) The evolutionary reason for "slut shaming"(56:30) Females emphasize equal outcomes; males, equal opportunities(01:04:09) What should people do with evolutionary psychology's findings?

Mar 31, 2023 • 53min
Episode 75: Kevin Kelly - Excellent Advice for Living
Kevin Kelly is a photographer, a futurist, an editor, and the author of multiple books, including his newest, "Excellent Advice for Living: Wisdom I Wish I'd Known Earlier."On his 68th birthday, Kevin wrote "68 Bits of Unsolicited Advice" for his children - an essay that went viral. He wrote two more birthday advice essays for years 69, and 70. Now, after cleaning those nuggets up and adding 150 more, he has written a treasure-trove of wisdom, created and given to the world by one of America's most perceptive thinkers.This is my favorite kind of book, and Kevin has created a masterpiece that I will consult for the rest of my life. I highly recommend it for anyone looking to become just a little bit wiser, a little bit better, a little bit more thoughtful. It was an honor to conduct this conversation, with a man who I've admired for years.------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Show notesRate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------(00:00) Intro(02:22) Why Kevin began sharing advice(04:48) "68 Bits of Unsolicited Advice" popularity(06:54) 10 pieces of advice(09:09) You are what you do(13:07) Character is about how you deal with power(20:22) Look back 25 years from today to decide(23:47) The three things you need(37:42) Cultivate 12 people who love you(42:02) Money is to allow you to do great work(43:18) A perfect day to Kevin Kelly(45:42) Success and wealth(47:23) What's the point of obtaining wisdom?

Mar 17, 2023 • 1h 13min
Episode 74: Pico Iyer - Understanding Japan
Pico Iyer is an essayist, a travel writer, and the author of many books, including one of my all-time favorites: "A Beginner's Guide to Japan: Observations and Provocations." During our conversation, Pico talks about his journey to living in Japan, his observations from and insights into this very-foreign culture, and he speaks at length about the very-Japanese themes of subtraction, cosplay, traditional gender roles, baseball, wisdom, and more.Japan, in many ways, exhibits the inverse of many of the more boorish, stereotypically American qualities: it is graceful, quiet, obedient, considerate, internal. I quote extensively from Pico's masterful book, and it was a joy to listen to the man himself go into deeper detail about the country he has called home for more than three decades.Pico was born in Britain, and in a way that only an outsider can - and with his tremendous perceptiveness - he uncovers fascinating and enduring truths about one of the world's brilliantly weird and totally interesting civilizations. Japan is nearly 1,400 years old, and there is much to be learned from this rich, historic, and perplexing place.------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Show notesRate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------(00:00) Introduction(02:52) How Pico ended up in Japan(06:32) A calling to go to Japan(08:17) The foreignness of Japan(10:12) An introvert's paradise(11:53) Theme: subtraction in Japan(22:02) Theme: real-life cosplay in Japan(31:27) Do the Japanese ever express their real feelings?(37:37) Theme: dating and marriage in Japan(42:01) The role and importance of duty in Japan(44:29) Are Japanese women resentful of their expected role?(47:32) Theme: the role of men and women in Japan(52:37) How Pico stays in Japan legally on a tourist visa(59:03) Theme: life baseball in Japan(01:04:41) What else can the world learn from Japan?(01:08:16) Japan: a place deep in empathy, grace, and consideration

Mar 3, 2023 • 1h 17min
Episode 73: Jeremi Suri - The American Civil War
Jeremi Suri is a historian, a professor at the University of Texas at Austin, and the author of multiple books, including his most recent, "Civil War by Other Means: America’s Long and Unfinished Fight for Democracy."During our conversation, Jeremi talks about the circumstances leading up to the American Civil War, the key players in the war, including Abraham Lincoln, Robert E. Lee, and Ulysses S. Grant, the Confederate roots of the Ku Klux Klan, little-known facts about important Confederate leaders in the war, including those who joined and agreed to fight for Mexico, and those who eventually rose to American political power during the post-war years. Perhaps most centrally, Jeremi argues that Lincoln's grand vision for a fully unified, equal America was never realized, and its aftereffects can be felt and observed to this day.Despite its historic atrocities and current injustices, I still believe that America is the world's best hope for human freedom, real prosperity, and inspiring the rights and the dignity of the individual. Its founding principles have endured and have changed the world. And people vote with their feet: there's a reason why America continues to be immigrants' top choice as their preferred home. The United States will never be perfect, but it can be better, and the knowledge and insights from this book can help the place Lincoln called, "the last best hope of earth."------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Show notesRate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------(00:00) Intro(02:30) The creation of "Civil War By Other Means"(06:14) January 6th, 2021 (08:20) America before The Civil War(14:37) Robert E. Lee(19:59) England and Southern cotton(24:42) The Union vs. The Confederacy by the numbers(27:17) Abraham Lincoln (29:58) Lincoln, the master storyteller(35:22) Ulysses S. Grant(40:07) The pernicious end to the Civil War(44:22) Reconstruction and its failures(46:45) Rutherford B. Hayes and the end of Reconstruction(51:44) 50,000 Confederates joined the Mexican army(59:07) The Confederate link to the KKK(01:03:52) Unlearning insidious Confederate stories(01:11:02) Jeremi's story as a symbol of America


