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Keep Talking

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May 12, 2023 • 60min

Episode 78: Orna Donath - Regretting Motherhood

Israeli sociologist Orna Donath discusses her landmark book 'Regretting Motherhood' and the taboo surrounding women who regret becoming mothers. She explores the difference between regret and ambivalence, the shame and secrecy women face, and the societal pressure surrounding parenthood. This conversation sheds light on the experiences of women who regret being mothers and aims to remove the stigma surrounding alternative choices.
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Apr 28, 2023 • 60min

Episode 77: Joyce Benenson - The Differences Between Men and Women

Joyce Benenson discusses sex differences in competition, human hierarchies, male vs. female psyche, and debunking myths about men and women. She explores female intra-sexual competition strategies and challenges traditional gender roles in evolutionary psychology.
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Apr 14, 2023 • 1h 11min

Episode 76: Tania Reynolds - How Women Compete for Men

Tania Reynolds is a scientist, a researcher, and an assistant professor of evolution and development at the University of New Mexico. During our conversation, Tania explains the field of evolutionary psychology, the evolutionary history and culture of hunter-gatherer societies, what we know about how women compete for men, the role and purpose of gossip in female social life and competition, the importance of finding high-quality men for women, why women are driven to find super-nice friends, and why equality is often so important to female relationships.As I have mentioned on this show, I think the field of evolutionary psychology is the most fascinating and revelatory area of research in modern science. Tania's career is just beginning, and to me, she is focusing on the subjects that attempt to accurately explain human nature, why we are the way we are. I loved this conversation and all of the taboo, politically incorrect, and humbling topics we discuss.Robert Greene has noted that we often like to think that we are descended from angels, not from primates. I think understanding our animal nature, our hardwired tendencies, can help us be more compassionate towards other fellow, flawed apes, more honest with ourselves, and more capable of acclimating our lives to flourish with this reality.------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Show notesRate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------(00:00) Intro(02:51) What is evolutionary psychology?(06:16) Why is ev psych interesting?(09:18) What women want: high-quality men(18:16) Patrilocal social groups and women(21:51) Female friends: coalitional partner in reputational warfare(28:50) Female reputational competition and manipulation(37:40) The influence of sex ratios on dating cultures(44:21) Tania's advice for young men(50:00) The evolutionary reason for "slut shaming"(56:30) Females emphasize equal outcomes; males, equal opportunities(01:04:09) What should people do with evolutionary psychology's findings?
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Mar 31, 2023 • 53min

Episode 75: Kevin Kelly - Excellent Advice for Living

Kevin Kelly is a photographer, a futurist, an editor, and the author of multiple books, including his newest, "Excellent Advice for Living: Wisdom I Wish I'd Known Earlier."On his 68th birthday, Kevin wrote "68 Bits of Unsolicited Advice" for his children - an essay that went viral. He wrote two more birthday advice essays for years 69, and 70. Now, after cleaning those nuggets up and adding 150 more, he has written a treasure-trove of wisdom, created and given to the world by one of America's most perceptive thinkers.This is my favorite kind of book, and Kevin has created a masterpiece that I will consult for the rest of my life. I highly recommend it for anyone looking to become just a little bit wiser, a little bit better, a little bit more thoughtful. It was an honor to conduct this conversation, with a man who I've admired for years.------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Show notesRate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------(00:00) Intro(02:22) Why Kevin began sharing advice(04:48) "68 Bits of Unsolicited Advice" popularity(06:54) 10 pieces of advice(09:09) You are what you do(13:07) Character is about how you deal with power(20:22) Look back 25 years from today to decide(23:47) The three things you need(37:42) Cultivate 12 people who love you(42:02) Money is to allow you to do great work(43:18) A perfect day to Kevin Kelly(45:42) Success and wealth(47:23) What's the point of obtaining wisdom?
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Mar 17, 2023 • 1h 13min

Episode 74: Pico Iyer - Understanding Japan

Pico Iyer is an essayist, a travel writer, and the author of many books, including one of my all-time favorites: "A Beginner's Guide to Japan: Observations and Provocations." During our conversation, Pico talks about his journey to living in Japan, his observations from and insights into this very-foreign culture, and he speaks at length about the very-Japanese themes of subtraction, cosplay, traditional gender roles, baseball, wisdom, and more.Japan, in many ways, exhibits the inverse of many of the more boorish, stereotypically American qualities: it is graceful, quiet, obedient, considerate, internal. I quote extensively from Pico's masterful book, and it was a joy to listen to the man himself go into deeper detail about the country he has called home for more than three decades.Pico was born in Britain, and in a way that only an outsider can - and with his tremendous perceptiveness - he uncovers fascinating and enduring truths about one of the world's brilliantly weird and totally interesting civilizations. Japan is nearly 1,400 years old, and there is much to be learned from this rich, historic, and perplexing place.------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Show notesRate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------(00:00) Introduction(02:52) How Pico ended up in Japan(06:32) A calling to go to Japan(08:17) The foreignness of Japan(10:12) An introvert's paradise(11:53) Theme: subtraction in Japan(22:02) Theme: real-life cosplay in Japan(31:27) Do the Japanese ever express their real feelings?(37:37) Theme: dating and marriage in Japan(42:01) The role and importance of duty in Japan(44:29) Are Japanese women resentful of their expected role?(47:32) Theme: the role of men and women in Japan(52:37) How Pico stays in Japan legally on a tourist visa(59:03) Theme: life baseball in Japan(01:04:41) What else can the world learn from Japan?(01:08:16) Japan: a place deep in empathy, grace, and consideration
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Mar 3, 2023 • 1h 17min

Episode 73: Jeremi Suri - The American Civil War

Jeremi Suri is a historian, a professor at the University of Texas at Austin, and the author of multiple books, including his most recent, "Civil War by Other Means: America’s Long and Unfinished Fight for Democracy."During our conversation, Jeremi talks about the circumstances leading up to the American Civil War, the key players in the war, including Abraham Lincoln, Robert E. Lee, and Ulysses S. Grant, the Confederate roots of the Ku Klux Klan, little-known facts about important Confederate leaders in the war, including those who joined and agreed to fight for Mexico, and those who eventually rose to American political power during the post-war years. Perhaps most centrally, Jeremi argues that Lincoln's grand vision for a fully unified, equal America was never realized, and its aftereffects can be felt and observed to this day.Despite its historic atrocities and current injustices, I still believe that America is the world's best hope for human freedom, real prosperity, and inspiring the rights and the dignity of the individual. Its founding principles have endured and have changed the world. And people vote with their feet: there's a reason why America continues to be immigrants' top choice as their preferred home. The United States will never be perfect, but it can be better, and the knowledge and insights from this book can help the place Lincoln called, "the last best hope of earth."------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Show notesRate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------(00:00) Intro(02:30) The creation of "Civil War By Other Means"(06:14) January 6th, 2021 (08:20) America before The Civil War(14:37) Robert E. Lee(19:59) England and Southern cotton(24:42) The Union vs. The Confederacy by the numbers(27:17) Abraham Lincoln (29:58) Lincoln, the master storyteller(35:22) Ulysses S. Grant(40:07) The pernicious end to the Civil War(44:22) Reconstruction and its failures(46:45) Rutherford B. Hayes and the end of Reconstruction(51:44) 50,000 Confederates joined the Mexican army(59:07) The Confederate link to the KKK(01:03:52) Unlearning insidious Confederate stories(01:11:02) Jeremi's story as a symbol of America
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Feb 3, 2023 • 1h 35min

Episode 72: Christopher Ryan - The Hunter-Gatherer Within

Christopher Ryan is a writer, a podcaster, and the author of the bestselling books "Sex at Dawn" and "Civilized to Death." During our conversation, Chris talks about his interest in human nature, Native American culture, humanity's origins as hunter-gatherers, and what we can learn from the environment and general culture that shaped our psychology. He also talks about the dawn of agriculture, and why that event - which occurred independently numerous times - is arguably humanity's biggest mistake.If "know thyself" is the bedrock of wisdom, we must first understand who we are, where we come from, and how we evolved. Chris's perspective may allow us all to better understand and prioritize the important aspects of human life: how we work, how we love, and what's worth valuing - especially for those who are struggling and suffering in modern civilization. I love his irreverence, his intelligence, his independence of mind, and his unique lifestyle.------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Show notesRate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------(00:00) Intro (01:44) Preferring life as a hunter-gatherer (07:40) Chris's work tries to understand human nature (14:38) Civilized to Death (27:51) The mistake of the dawn of agriculture (37:34) Lessons from Native Americans (51:09) Chris forging his own path (01:04:20) Monogamy and "Sex at Dawn" (01:13:12) Suspicion of American ambition (01:23:10) Joseph Campbell and humans returning home
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Jan 6, 2023 • 1h 24min

Episode 71: Thomas Moore - Spirituality and Soul in the Modern World

Thomas Moore is a spiritual teacher, a psychotherapist, and the author of many books, including his bestseller, "Care of the Soul."During our conversation, Thomas talks about his many years as a Catholic monk, his time in academia, and his work as a therapist. He also talks about the ideas and life of Carl Jung and James Hillman, archetypes of the human psyche, and spirituality and religion in the modern world.Thomas is well-known for his writings on the human soul. He discusses his appreciation for historical figures like Emily Dickinson and Henry David Thoreau and details their wisdom and insights. In an increasingly secular age, Thomas has given mystical sustenance to those seeking to better understand their own soul, its needs, and how one might live a life of spirituality and soulfulness.------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Show notesRate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------(00:00) Intro (02:36) Attraction to religion and Catholicism (05:10) The life of a monk (06:51) What left Thomas and led to leaving a monk's life (08:25) Being denied tenure at SMU(11:00) Carl Jung (14:10) The influence of Jung (14:51) Jung's biography (20:32) The magician archetype (23:06) Disagreements with Jung (25:50) What is the soul? (30:45) "Care of the Soul" quotes (35:07) Space for soul in modernity (40:38) The exodus from traditional religion is a sign of maturation (45:25) Who should be consulted for wisdom? (48:49) Wisdom from history (52:23) The ego and the mystical (56:04) What is religion? (58:47) Approaching life's decisions religiously (01:02:20) Archetypes and the role of men (01:09:19) Phineas Gage and the implications for a human soul (01:16:09) Lessons from 40 years as a therapist (01:20:30) What's next for Thomas?
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Dec 2, 2022 • 1h 14min

Episode 70: Nicholas Christakis - Lessons From The Dying

Nicholas Christakis is a sociologist, a physician, and is the Sterling Professor of Social and Natural Science at Yale University. He is also the author of a variety of books including "Apollo's Arrow" and "Blueprint."During our conversation, Nicholas talks about his experiences as a hospice doctor and what he has learned from working with the dying, his book "Blueprint" and our current evolutionary understanding of human nature, and the scientific roots of love and friendship. He also discusses another topic about which he has written and which he has experienced: the madness of crowds, and the danger of mobs.Nicholas is a polymath, a public intellectual, and an amazingly curious mind. His professional life has spanned many fascinating and important fields, and his life and his knowledge can help all of us to be more self-aware, more conscious of our natures, and more rooted in reality.------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Show notesRate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------(00:00) Intro (02:03) Journey to a hospice doctor (09:01) Lessons from the dying (14:59) How hospice care changed Nicholas (24:15) Advice for young people from hospice experiences (27:40) "Blueprint: The Evolutionary Origins of a Good Society" (34:47) Why does human friendship exist? (40:13) Why close friendships end (42:51) Why does human love exist? (52:36) Monogamy and polygyny (57:54) Sexual selection and men and women (58:59) The madness of crowds: Greece, Yale and COVID (1:10:24) How an individual can avoid the madness of crowds
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Nov 18, 2022 • 57min

Episode 69: Chip Conley - Elevating Our Elders

Chip Conley is an entrepreneur, the author of many books including "Wisdom at Work," and is the co-founder of the Modern Elder Academy. During our conversation, Chip talks about founding, running, and eventually selling Joie de Vivre Hospitality, mentoring both California Governor Gavin Newsom and Airbnb CEO Brian Chesky, and the role of elders in contemporary and ancestral societies.Chip aims to change the purpose, the usefulness, and the cultural esteem of one of our most untapped resources: our elders. In a society obsessed with youth and fearful of aging, our elders have an abundance of the quality most apt to avoid mistakes, improve decision-making, and increase overall health and wellness: wisdom.If Chip is successful in propelling the growth and the influence of his Modern Elder Academy, and its offshoot Regenerative Communities - an attempt to disrupt, innovate, and improve senior living - I believe he and his team will help us improve as a culture, provide meaning to people as they age, and mature our civilization.------------Support via VenmoSupport on SubstackSupport on Patreon------------Show notesRate on SpotifyRate on Apple PodcastsSocial media and all episodes------------(00:00) Intro (02:32) Chip's interest in wisdom and elders (05:22) What is wisdom?(08:51) Chip's wisdom gained through suffering (13:44) The ancestral role of elders in society (20:20) "Of Boys And Men" (25:19) The Modern Elder Academy (30:22) Elders: our great, untapped resource (37:14) Carl Jung, the ego, and the soul (46:29) Regenerative Communities: transforming senior living (51:44) How would America change if we elevated our elders?

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