The Tortoise with Brooke McAlary

It’s a new month, and a new Slow Experiment. Hooray! For September, Brooke and Ben are playing with Mindful Moments, and invite you to do the same. This is probably the most accessible experiment of all time, and in this episode they share their intentions for the month and explain how you can start to bring more mindfulness into your daily life. For Brooke and Ben, mindfulness is all about paying attention without expectation or judgment. They’re stripping mindfulness back to its essence - it’s not a meditation experiment (although you can meditate if you like!) and doesn’t require any apps or colouring books, but is an exploration of four different mindfulness practices. They’re committing to 5 minutes of mindfulness a day, but you can choose your own adventure. 2 minutes is better than nothing at all - and the busier you are, the more likely you are to benefit from a mindful moment. In this episode they kick off by looking at breathing as a mindfulness practice, specifically deep breathing (or square breathing) and lion’s breath. They break both techniques down, and you can also find links to tutorials in the blog post. The benefits of deep breathing have been proven: it relieves stress and anxiety by impacting the nervous system, as well as positively impacting stress hormones. Plus, stress reduction is the a win for our physical and mental wellbeing. So have a play, see what works for you, and commit to deep breathing every day this week. Let us know how you go - connect on Facebook and Instagram, and be sure to download the Mindful Moments guide over on the website for more ideas and suggestions for the experiment. To read more about the episode, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/254/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post.  ==== If you're enjoying the show and want to know how to best support it, leave a rating or a review in iTunes or head over to the Patreon page to help support the show financially and join in on our live monthly video calls. And thanks so much for listening! ===Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Slow book tour rolls on this week, and in this poggie Brooke sits down to chat with her irrerepressible and inspiring mate Jess Davis - a Brooklyn-dwelling tech ethicist, slow living advocate and founder of Folk Rebellion.  This episode was recorded at Greenlight Bookstore in Brooklyn in August, and during the conversation and Q&A session Brooke and Jess talk through the meaning of slow in a fast-paced city like Brooklyn.  Jess shares some of what inspired her to change from living a constantly connected, burnt out, stress-filled life to now helming an organisation who's main goal is to get people off their screens and out in to life, as well as how she manages her life in both a real and practical sense.  She and Brooke also answer a whole heap of audience questions and generally just have a hell of a time hanging out.   Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week we’re coming to you live from Austin, where Brooke sat down with longtime friend of the show Tsh Oxenreider as part of the Slow Book Tour. It was their second ever IRL meeting, and they dive into all things slow, values, balance and more, as well as answering some thoughtful questions from the readers and listeners at BookPeople. Brooke and Tsh share similar views on how it’s the feeling that matters when it comes to living slowly, not the way it looks, as well as a real wanderlust and curiosity about the world, which made for a really special conversation. Brooke kicks off by asking Tsh to describe what slow or simple living means to her. They talk about the idea of reverse-engineering your life based on your values (or your eulogy, like Brooke did) and how living intentionally is so much more than a checklist of items in your wardrobe. Tsh highlights her family’s mantra of ‘people and experiences over things’, and the way she can apply it to her life almost like a filter to help her make decisions.  They talk about the power of experimentation and baby steps when you first start to make changes in your life, and the value of creating space in your home and space in your day (and how it can lead to space in your mind). Then it’s on to how to stay slow when things get fast, and the prioritisation of the big picture view over the pressure of daily balance. Tsh shares her Think Day concept (which we are VERY here for) and how helpful she finds it to step back and zoom out from her life to see where things are at. Then it’s onto listener questions! They’re a diverse bunch, on everything from decluttering anxiety and how to say no (hot tip: Let me get back to you) to what Brooke would have done differently in her journey to slow. And it’s a wrap! A massive thanks to Tsh for showing up, jet lag and all, as well as all the folks in Austin for their support and brilliant questions. To read more about the episode, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/251/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post.  Also stay tuned for next month’s Slow Experiment, all about mindfulness! We can’t wait to dig deep into this practice and how it can help you to bring moments of slow to your days. ==== If you're enjoying the show and want to know how to best support it, leave a rating or a review in iTunes or head over to the Patreon page to help support the show financially and join in on our live monthly video calls. And thanks so much for listening! ===Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It’s the first live episode from the Slow Book Tour! This week we’re listening to Brooke’s chat with the one and only Courtney Carver, from the King's English bookstore in Salt Lake City. Brooke and Courtney have been working together for many years, and while they’ve exchanged countless emails and Skype chats, this was their first meeting IRL. Their conversation covers what motivated them to start to slow down, what slow looks like now and ideas for how to bring more intention into your life, no matter how fast your days might feel. Courtney shares that her journey to simple began with a wake up call: her diagnosis of MS a few years ago. She decided to eliminate as much stress from her life as possible, and began making changes to her diet and then addressing her debt. It looked like minimalism to begin with, but it wasn’t long before it led to living a life of intention. She tells Brooke how exciting it felt to make these changes, but also how the step-by-step approach was so important. She and Brooke talk about the impact of decluttering, and how it’s about so much more than the stuff (and where it goes!) All this decluttering forced both Brooke and Courtney to ask themselves: if I’m not my stuff, or my success, then who am I? For Courtney, this led to a real evaluation of her values and purpose, and the uncomfortable realisation that she was often distracted from what really mattered to her. Similarly, Brooke faced the same feelings when she sat down to write her eulogy four years ago. The life she was living wasn’t going to get her to the place she wanted to end up. They go on to talk about the value of space and buffer in helping us be less reactive and more mindful, and some of the ways they’ve brought a little more slow to their everyday lives. They then answer some really thoughtful questions from the audience, all about anxiety around expectations of productivity and work, and how to tame the people-pleaser within us when trying to slow down and simplify. Courtney brings such heart and soul into everything she does, and this chat is no exception. We can’t wait to hear what you think - be sure to share your thoughts with us over on Instagram and Facebook. To read more about the episode, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/250/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post.  ==== If you're enjoying the show and want to know how to best support it, leave a rating or a review in iTunes or head over to the Patreon page to help support the show financially and join in on our live monthly video calls. And thanks so much for listening! ===Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to this week’s fast’n’loose hostful episode. Brooke and Ben get through what must be a record number of your questions, on everything from slow living in fast cities to travelling on a budget. A big thank you to everyone who submitted their thoughtful questions - we’re looking forward to continuing the conversations with you all on social media after listening! Ben kicks off with a question from a listener who lives in Mumbai, asking how they can preserve their energy while living in such a fast-paced place. Brooke talks about the power of mindful micro-moments throughout the day to help you step out of the chaos and into the tiny details, while Ben talks about the replenishing effects of spending time in green spaces in cities, harking back to the nature Slow Experiment of the year. In a similar vein, the next question is about ways to get out of your head (especially when you’re an analytical person *cough Brooke cough*) other than meditation. Brooke shares two of her favourite strategies for this: brain dumping and the body scan. Later in the episode she also shares what she uses to meditate, for anyone searching for an app to use. Then it’s on to a bunch of travel-related questions. Brooke and Ben talk about what they’re cooking and eating on the road (spoiler alert: their meals are “not setting the world on fire”, according to Ben), the oven foods they miss the most (strong contender for question of the episode), how the kids are going with school and being on the move so much and how to travel when you’re on a budget. They finish off with an adorable throwback (how did Brooke and Ben meet?), and then a couple more cracking questions about waste and learning. It’s interesting to hear some of the challenges they’ve faced in their slow travels, as well as what’s firing them up and sparking their interest at the moment. What about you? We’d love to hear your thoughts on the questions asked and answers answered - head over to Facebook and Instagram and give us your two cents’ worth. To read more about the episode, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/249/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post.  ==== If you're enjoying the show and want to know how to best support it, leave a rating or a review in iTunes or head over to the Patreon page to help support the show financially. And thanks so much for listening! ===Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We’re onto the last of our slow relationships episodes, and this week is all about new friends: where to find them and how to get from barely know each other to BFF, slowly. It’s all about taking the time, being intentional and paying attention, as well as discovering the joy of spending time with people based on what’s important to you rather than the situation you find yourself in (bye awkward office/school drop off chats, hi fellow slow living friends). First up, Ben asks Brooke if, given last week’s episode all about maintaining existing friendships and the time it takes, as well as the effort involved in meeting new people, do we even need any more friends? Brooke says yes, and shares some of her own story and the challenges she has faced around friendships. In case you need convincing, she also highlights some of the benefits of friendships according to science. Including everything from improved self-esteem to reduction in stress and depression, it seems that finding like minded folk to while our days away with is worth the effort. So how do we find these new friends? Brooke considers a few steps, and talks about the importance in shifting your attitude and being open in social situations. Think about the values you’re looking for in a new pal, and find ways to put yourself into a relevant community, whether IRL or online. The guys talk about a few ways to do this, as well as reminding us that not all friendships work out, and that’s OK. Brooke also shares some helpful strategies for introverts when meeting new people. In a beautiful full circle moment, it all comes back to active listening. Which brings us to the end! We’ve loved hearing your thoughts and feedback on Instagram and Facebook about slow and relationships, so keep on sharing. Ben would also love your food recommendations for Dallas and Austin, so feel free to hit us up with those also. To read more about the episode, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/248/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post.  ==== If you're enjoying the show and want to know how to best support it, leave a rating or a review in iTunes or head over to the Patreon page to help support the show financially. And thanks so much for listening! ===Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week we’re continuing the relationships theme, looking at existing friendships: not only how to maintain them, but how to deepen them. There’s no question that as time goes on and big life milestones pass, friendships change and some fade. But one of the biggest things we stand to lose by living a busy, un-intentional life is the relationships that have the potential to be deep and life-long. How do we make sure we give these friendships our time and attention? And how do we talk about slow living with our pals? Let’s dive in. Brooke and Ben kick off by sharing that, like any relationship, friendships are built on trust and time. So how can we ensure we commit to our people, even if we’re operating in different spheres, or don’t necessarily share the same values? They talk about some different ways you can talk to friends about slow living, including how to explain any impacts that the changes you’re making might have on them, and the importance of showing that you’re still there for them. If you value someone, bring them into what you’re doing without being forceful – invite them to where you are, and reciprocate the love and acceptance. When it comes to those deep, true friendships, so many of us ask ourselves how we can take them to the next level, and have the deeper conversations beyond the everyday and superficial. Brooke shares some practical tips, and Ben shares his experience with this as a male. They finish by sharing some different ways you can spend time and build bonds with your buds, highlighting that it doesn’t have to be all deep & meaningful, teary conversations. Joy, creativity, play and shared projects all play a role in strengthening friendships. As does telling your friends that you love them, and that you’re thinking of them. Which is this week’s action – reach out to a friend and tell them you appreciate them, and that they sprung to mind after listening to this episode. Then reach out to us: we’d love to hear your thoughts about this episode. How are you trying to bring more slow, depth and intention to your friendships? Comment on Facebook or Instagram and share the love. To read more about the episode, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/247/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post. And stay tuned for next week, when we’ll talk about making new friends! ==== If you're enjoying the show and want to know how to best support it, leave a rating or a review in iTunes or head over to the Patreon page to help support the show financially. And thanks so much for listening! ===Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It’s week two of our month of slow and relationships, and this episode we’re looking at family: kids, parents, siblings, and all those broader relationships (including those friends that feel more like favourite cousins) that make up the family tree. They’re not always neat and tidy, but hopefully there will be something in this episode that resonates with you, whatever your family situation. Brooke and Ben begin by talking kids. We’ve covered slow parenting in many an episode before (links in the show notes), but they share a few important reminders and tools here as well. Kids are not slow, and so living slowly with kids can be difficult to near-impossible. There are tools you can use and boundaries you can set in place (especially around time, technology and presence) to establish some great foundations, but the best advice is to drop the expectations, don’t be afraid to say no and let boredom happen. When it comes to parents and siblings, Brooke highlights that we all crave connection but are often scared of being vulnerable in conversation. She recommends some ways to start those difficult chats, and highlights that time is the real key here. Making and allowing time and creating a safe space for deeper conversations and connections helps to create stronger bonds. They then address what to do when there maybe isn’t as much connection within a family, and Ben comes back to this idea of resilience: being tolerant, open and then resilient enough to always try to end interactions on a positive note. Putting love above differences in opinion isn’t always easy, but it’s a choice we can make. They finish the episode by talking about ways to maintain connection when there’s a great physical distance between family, and then sharing the value of affection within all familial relationships (hugs are always on the cards). This week’s action? Tell someone you love them, every day. And let us know how that feels - get in touch on Facebook or Instagram and share the love. To read more about the episode, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/246/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post.  ==== If you're enjoying the show and want to know how to best support it, leave a rating or a review in iTunes or head over to the Patreon page to help support the show financially. And thanks so much for listening! ===Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Annnnd we’re back. It’s the first week of July, and while we’re due for a Slow Experiment, thanks to book tour commitments and a tight travel schedule, Brooke and Ben are taking the pressure off. Instead, July will be a deep dive into bringing slow to relationships. Romantic, family and friendships old and new, each week the guys will be exploring ways you can create deeper connections with the people around you. We received so much feedback after Ben shared his story in episode 242, as well as a bunch of questions, emails and feedback on the topic, so let’s get to it! This week kicks off looking at bringing more slow to romantic relationships. Brooke and Ben look at their own relationship, and acknowledge up front that their experience of the dating scene goes back a while now (Brooke has never swiped right). However, they talk about the fact that a lot of the technology around dating these days doesn’t necessarily support people looking for a deeper, more meaningful connection. Side note: Brooke did discover a slow dating app, but did not give it a test run (which Ben was grateful for). They talk about the importance of entering into relationships and getting to know people with a focus on intention over the endgame, and how presence and time helps to cement trust. The same principles apply to people already in a long-term relationships. Intention, turning up and building trust are where it’s at. Dropping the distractions and being present with your s/o is so important in building that solid, steady foundation. They bring up some of the challenges they’ve faced in their own relationship, invite us to reframe the way we view relationship milestones (as new understandings rather than specific events) and remind us that romance is constantly evolving. Which is comforting. To finish off, they invite you to be aware this week of your expectations in your relationships, and to explore finding joy and depth in the ordinary, everyday moments. If you have anything to add or that you’d like to share, especially if you have any apps or resources that have helped you slow down the dating scene, feel free to get in touch! Comment on Facebook or Instagram and share the love. To read more about the episode, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/245/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post.   ==== If you're enjoying the show and want to know how to best support it, leave a rating or a review in iTunes or head over to the Patreon page to help support the show financially. And thanks so much for listening! ===  Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Our guest on the podcast this week is Anita Van Dyke: zero waste activist, literal rocket scientist, medical student, author and all-round breath of fresh air. Anita brings a new, more practical perspective to the zero waste lifestyle, and in this episode she and Brooke talk about her journey to living a zero waste life, the impact of her cultural and familial upbringing, tips for helping people get started and so much more. Anita talks about her life a few years ago, as a self-described ‘maximalist’, and how she went from working in corporate engineering at the height of her career to being burnt out, and having to quit her job and step back for six months to think about what she wanted in life. She talks about her cultural background, as her parents immigrated to Australia from China during the communist regime, and how this informed both her value of money, power and status in her early 20s and her work ethic, but also how her upbringing cemented her understanding of living minimally. She talks about her discovery of this very podcast during that six month break, and how this, combined with other resources, volunteering, meditating and economic necessity started her on the journey of simplifying her life and decreasing her waste. Now Anita is studying medicine and has just written a book, called ‘A Zero Waste Life: In 30 Days’. Her scientific background means her approach to zero waste living is incredibly practical, with a creative, problem-solving bent to help you make small changes in your everyday life. Her focus is accessibility, and Brooke loved her three-tiered approach to any issue: dipping your toe in, living low waste and living zero waste. This podcast is full of so many nuggets of wisdom and great ideas for approaching a slower, more simple life. Start where you are, take stock, ask for help and stick to the 80/20 rule are just some of our main takeaways. What about you? Be sure to share your favourite bits with us on Instagram and Facebook. To read more about the episode and Anita, as well as to heck out her book, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/244for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post.  ==== If you're enjoying the show and want to know how to best support it, leave a rating or a review in iTunes or head over to the Patreon page to help support the show financially and join in on our live monthly video calls. And thanks so much for listening! ===Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.