Many of us strongly identify as supporters of equality, diversity and inclusion. Yet Dolly Chugh’s research suggests that by holding on to this identity too tightly, we may not live up to our own expectations. Dolly is the author of the book, The Person You Mean to Be: How Good People Fight Bias, suggests An award-winning Professor of Social Psychology at NYU’s Stern School of Business, Dolly encourages us to aim for “good-ish” over good, that is, to view ourselves as works-in-progress, so that we can stay open to making mistakes and learning from them. Through stories of ordinary people doing just that, Dolly gives us the mindset, the language, and the actions we can take to become the people we want to be. In this interview we talk about: Why wanting to be seen as good people makes it harder for us to become better people The connection between seeing ourselves as “good-ish” and holding a growth mindset How learning from our mistakes involves listening more deeply and asking more questions What our social media contacts can reveal about how diverse and inclusive our networks actually are How our biases limit what we notice and what we process How the concept of headwinds and tailwinds can help us understand systemic bias Uncoupling diversity from inclusion How diversity focuses on numbers while inclusion asks whether those numbers count How small, inclusive acts add up How opportunities initiated by people in power can transform headwinds into tailwinds The 20/60/20 rule for deciding when and how to engage as an ally Why an audience of undecided listeners may be the reason to engage with people resistant to issues of diversity and inclusion How personal, humanizing stories of diversity and inclusion often change minds more effectively than cold, hard facts Links to Episode Topics http://www.dollychugh.com/ @DollyChugh Rick Klau Carol Dweck and fixed vs growth mindset Perrin Chiles and Adaptive Studios Story of revival of Project Greenlight in 2014 Brittany Turner Implicit Association Test MeToo Movement Max Bazerman Blindspot by Mahzarin Banaji and Anthony Greenwald Debby Irving and headwinds and tailwinds Bootstrap narrative The myth of meritocracy African Americans and the G.I. Bill Susan Lucia Annunzio If you enjoy the podcast, please rate and review it on iTunes - your ratings help others find their next podcast. For automatic delivery of new episodes, be sure to subscribe. And thank you for listening and sharing!

It can seem like we’re working harder, yet rarely getting to what matters most. John Zeratsky understands how we feel and wants to help. He’s the co-author with Jake Knapp of the book, Make Time: How to Focus on What Matters Every Day. Their book is an innovative way to look at our work, inspiring by years of productivity hacks that ultimately left them unfulfilled. John was a designer for tech companies like YouTube and Google before working at Google Ventures with close to 200 startups. There, he began experimenting with hundreds of teams, in order to help people accomplish their most important goals. What he discovered has been distilled to dozens of bite-sized tips and strategies readers can try out and build into their lives. John’s first book was the New York Times bestseller Sprint: How to Solve Big Problems and Test New Ideas in Just Five Days. He’s also written for The Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review, and Wired. In this interview we talk about: Why checking off items on a to-do list can make us feel productive yet unfulfilled Why we need to get off the “busy bandwagon” with meetings, email and chat How endless streams of content are bottomless “infinity pools” for our attention The direct connection between our tech’s default settings and attentional exhaustion How to keep the positive aspects of our tech and lose the not so good parts A four-part framework for making time for work we value How choosing a daily highlight can make all the difference on how we spend our time Why we should trade our to-do lists for might-do lists How to “bulldoze” our calendars to free up time for our daily highlights How making simple changes to our tech can help us create barriers to distraction Why dusting off our wristwatches may be the way to go Why quiet and boredom our invaluable for our work and our health Key ways we can design our environment so that the right decision is the easy decision Links to Episode Topics @jazer https://about.me/jazer Getting Things Done by David Allen Off the Clock by Laura Vanderkam and you can find her interview here on Curious Minds Curly Lambeau and Lambeau Field https://maketimebook.com/ If you enjoy the podcast, please rate and review it on iTunes - your ratings help others find their next podcast. For automatic delivery of new episodes, be sure to subscribe. And thank you for listening and sharing!

Long hours, 24/7 access, and crushing goals have become the norm in many workplaces. Jason Fried, co-author of the book, It Doesn’t Have to be Crazy at Work, thinks we need to stop celebrating this approach and, instead, actively work to create calmer organizations. Jason is the Co-founder and CEO of Basecamp, an incredibly successful project management and team communication software company. He’s written three other books about work —  Getting Real, Remote, and the New York Times Bestseller, Rework. In this interview we talk about: Why it’s invaluable to think of your organization as a product How curbing our ambition can be good for us and our customers Why we should understand that “a company is just a collection of choices” Reasons why leadership needs to defend their employees’ time from distractions The important role office hours can play in helping people focus Why we should embrace JOMO over FOMO The negative aspect of encouraging employees to think of each other as family What a trust battery can do for our relationships with others at work Why we should think twice before taking on projects we believe to be low-hanging fruit Why strong writing skills can be invaluable, no matter a person’s role at work Why expecting new employees to “hit the ground running” is unfair and inefficient What job candidates gain when leaders eliminate salary negotiations The value in supporting employee learning in areas of interest outside of work What everyone gains when we slow down how we make decisions about new ideas How to make a decision when team members disagree How building reading time into the start of a meeting can make the rest of the meeting more productive Links to Episode Topics @jasonfried https://basecamp.com/ Background on concept of disagree and commit A New York Times article on JOMO Morten Hansen on his book, Great at Work, on Episode 102 of Curious Minds Tobi Lutke and Shopify Article on Jeff Bezos and reading memos at the start of meetings If you enjoy the podcast, please rate and review it on iTunes - your ratings help others find their next podcast. For automatic delivery of new episodes, be sure to subscribe. And thank you for listening and sharing!

What if you could make better decisions? Even with the biggest, life-altering choices, such as where to live, who to marry, or whether to start a company? Steven Johnson, author of the book, Farsighted: How We Make the Decisions that Matter the Most, thinks we often face decisions like this with little to no training and that we could use more tools in our decision-making toolbox.  Steven is the bestselling author of ten books, including Wonderland, How we Got to Now, Where Good Ideas Come From, The Invention of Air, The Ghost Map, and Everything Bad is Good for You. He is also the host and creator of the PBS and BBC series How We Got to Now. When it comes to complex decision making, he thinks we can do better, and in this interview about his latest book, Farsighted, he shares strategic approaches to help us get there. In this interview we discuss: How our most important decisions are complex and life-defining yet our approach to them is often too simple and quick Why breaking complex decisions into steps can help us get started Why you may never use a simple pros and cons list again How mapping all the variables that influence your decision can provide more wisdom Why our decision-making blindspots actually limit the kinds of decisions we make The important role outsiders or non-experts can play in expanding options for decision making Why diverse teams make more intelligent, thoughtful decisions than homogeneous teams The important roles uncertainty and lack of confidence play in making smarter decisions Why we need to take the either-or option off the decision-making table How influence diagrams can help us map who might be influenced or impacted by our decisions How charrettes can ensure we’ll get feedback from diverse stakeholders Why it’s important to speak to group members individually when trying to make a thoughtful decision The important role daydreaming plays in predicting outcomes in decision making The characteristics and practices of the most accurate predictors Why it’s important to map the degree to which we’re uncertain as we make important decisions How an effective decision-making process can help us work our way into important insights that may never have occurred to us otherwise Why we should try value models over pros and cons lists How reading novels provides decision-making simulations that help us practice Why decision making may be one of the top five skills we need to learn Links to Episode Topics https://stevenberlinjohnson.com/ @stevenbjohnson How We Got to Now|PBS Collect Pond Pierre Charles L’Enfant Paul C. Nutt Highline in NYC Katherine W. Phillips Decisive by Dan and Chip Heath Influence diagram Charrette Simple Rules by Donald Sull Phillip E. Tetlock Thomas C. Schelling Value model Middlemarch by George Eliot If you enjoy the podcast, please rate and review it on iTunes - your ratings help others find their next podcast. For automatic delivery of new episodes, be sure to subscribe. And thank you for listening and sharing!

When we try to explain cultural differences, we often turn to descriptions of east versus west, rich versus poor or, in U.S. politics, red versus blue. But Michele Gelfand, author of the book Rule Makers, Rule Breakers: How Tight and Loose Cultures Wire Our World, argues that we’re overlooking the most comprehensive explanation of all – how tightly or loosely we adhere to social norms. Michele is Professor of Psychology at the University of Maryland, College Park, and her pioneering research into cultural norms has been cited in the New York Times, the Washington Post, Harvard Business Review, Science, and on NPR. Drawing on decades of research conducted in over 50 countries, Michele shares how these cultural characteristics play out around the world. In this interview we discuss: How our unwritten rules of behavior are the glue that holds societies together How tight cultures typically have stronger social norms than their loose culture counterparts Just how early we begin to learn social norms – typically by the age of 3 How our social norms affect our behavior from morning to night How social norms can cause us to follow along even when we don’t agree Why they play an important role in what we can accomplish as a society The tradeoffs of tight versus loose cultures when it comes to creativity, safety, openness, and cooperation How disasters, diseases, and diversity serve as indicators of tight versus loose cultures The dynamic nature of tight and loose cultures in response to temporary vs long-term environmental threats The role of social status and power in relation to tight vs loose cultures The impact of organizational tightness versus looseness on the success of mergers and acquisitions Why we should seek tight-loose ambidexterity to accommodate change How culturally ambidextrous leaders are more successful than their rigid counterparts Times we might compromise or negotiate with others when it comes to tight vs loose How our social norms will influence robot behavior Links to Topics Mentioned in the Podcast @MicheleJGelfand https://www.michelegelfand.com/ Culture Lab Solomon Asch The Secret to Our Success by Joseph Heinrich Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me! Robert Levine The Culture Code by Daniel Coyle Fractal Betty Dukes Tom Curley The Muppets If you enjoy the podcast, please rate and review it on iTunes - your ratings make all the difference. For automatic delivery of new episodes, be sure to subscribe. And thank you for listening and sharing!

Gatherings play a big role in our lives. Weekly work meetings. Weddings. Holiday dinners. But over time, our gatherings can have a ho-hum feel. Priya Parker, author of the book, The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters, thinks it doesn’t have to be that way. Priya is the founder of Thrive Labs, an organization that draws on her training and experience in conflict resolution, organizational design, and public policy to help others create transformative gatherings. From the momentous convening of the World Economic Forum to a light-hearted picnic in the park, she walks us through new ways of bringing people together, including who to invite, how many, and even how to start. In this interview we discuss: How the category of a gathering – like a wedding or networking event – should never supersede its purpose Why knowing why we’re meetings should drive everything else about the gathering How an innovative justice center in Red Hook, Brooklyn rethought its purpose for gathering in order to solve problems of poverty and crime Why the New York Times had to replace ritual with purpose in its infamous “Page One” meetings The kinds of questions we can ask when planning a meaningful gathering Why “the more the merrier” works against effective meetings The connection between purpose and the number of people we invite to a meeting Why we need to think about the ratio of meeting space to number of people attending The responsibilities a host has once the gathering begins How we can use simple rules to create the feeling of a temporary alternative world How to start a gathering (and how not to) How an activity like “15 Toasts” drives connection Why the end of a meeting is just as important as the beginning Why gathering is an act of courage, rather than an act of perfection Why we need to stop hiding as we plan and lead meetings of purpose  Links to Episode Topics @priyaparker Priya Parker’s website Red Hook Community Justice Center New York Times “Page One” Meeting Dean Baquet Jonathan Cook The Power of Moments by Dan and Chip Heath Young Presidents Association Presidio in San Francisco Alamo Drafthouse Cinema “I am here” days Jill Soloway Transparent 15 Toasts Ocean’s 11 movie If you enjoy the podcast, please rate and review it on iTunes - your ratings make all the difference. For automatic delivery of new episodes, be sure to subscribe. And thank you for listening and sharing!

Do we know what others think? What about our partners or closest friends? Nick Epley, author of the book, Mindwise: Why We Misunderstand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want, explains that we can read the minds of others, but not nearly as well as we think. In fact, we can barely read our own minds.  Nicholas Epley is Professor of Behavioral Science at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. His research has appeared in more than two dozen journals, including the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology and the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, and his work has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Wired, NPR, and on CNN. In this interview we discuss: The fact that we aren’t as good at understanding others -- even those closest to us -- as we think we are How our predictions of what a group thinks of us is are, on average, more accurate than what we think any one individual in that group thinks of us Why our confidence in how well we understand people we spend a lot of time with outstrips the accuracy with which we actually do understand them How the faster we decide what another person thinks can cause us to be that much more confident in our assessment, even if we’re wrong The gap between what we think we’ll do in a particular situation and the ways we behave when we’re actually in that situation How we’re really making up stories or guessing when we attempt to explain why we feel a certain way or take a particular action Why a surefire way to ensure we won’t understand others is to dismiss their capabilities, dehumanize them and, in general, distance ourselves from them How we can misunderstand others just by paying attention to different things or focusing on something else Why interpreting information differently from others -- seeing the same situation in a different way -- makes it difficult to understand their perspective How body language reveals much less than we assume when it comes to understanding what others are thinking The importance of perspective getting over perspective taking -- how we need to test out our understanding by asking the other person what their experience was like, listen to what they have to say and then repeat it back to ensure our understanding, rather than work from the stories we’ve made up in our minds How we’re happier connecting with strangers on trains, buses, and in cabs, though we predict we’d be happier if we kept to ourselves Links to Episode Topics Nicholas Epley at Chicago Booth Richard LaPiere The Influential Mind by Tali Sharot If you enjoy the podcast, please rate and review it on iTunes - your ratings make all the difference. For automatic delivery of new episodes, be sure to subscribe. As always, thanks for listening!

What kind of self-talk can best help us achieve our goals? When we run into challenges, the voice inside our heads can be harsh and critical. Kristin Neff, Associate Professor in Human Development at the University of Texas, Austin, explains that this kind of self-talk does us more harm than good. What works instead, she says, is to speak to ourselves as we would to a close friend -- with kindness and understanding. Kristin is the author of the book, Self-compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. She is a pioneer in the research on self-compassion and first established it as a field of study almost a decade ago. She also makes it clear that we shouldn’t confuse self-compassion with self-pity or lowering our expectations. Instead, we should see it as a strategy that’s been proven effective for achieving our goals. In this interview we discuss: The important differences between sympathy, empathy and compassion How compassion shifts our response from understanding how someone feels -- being empathetic -- to taking action by providing care and support The important role mindfulness plays in allowing us to remain open to ourselves and others when difficult feelings arise The ways self-compassion gives us permission to be kind to ourselves and to show support and understanding, while recognizing our struggles are part of the human condition How self-compassion differs from self-pity and emotional self-indulgence Why self-compassion is more helpful than self-judgment or self-criticism as it allows us to view mistakes and failure as part of the learning process How asking ourselves, what would you say to a good friend in this situation, can shift our perspective from one of harshness and judgment to compassion The importance of recognizing that being human means we are imperfect, we will make mistakes, and difficult things will happen to us and to others -- that we are not alone How our self-talk - the kinds of things we say to ourselves, our inner voice - should be that of a supportive, caring friend rather than a harsh critic The importance of having our own back -- of having an inner ally --  and how that gives us the strength to cope with difficult things in life How veterans’ level of self-compassion was more predictive of whether or not they developed PTSD than how much combat they’d seen Why the advantage of self-compassion over self-esteem is that it is not dependent on our success or what others think of us How self-compassion gives us the freedom to cultivate a learning mindset because it frees us up to make mistakes and try again How self-compassion allows us to accepts ourselves without being complacent How “the texture of wisdom is gratitude” Links to Episode Topics @self_compassion Kristin Neff’s website Emiliana Simon-Thomas The Greater Good Science Center Chris Germer The Mindful Self-compassion Workbook by Kristin Neff and Chris Germer If you enjoy the podcast, please rate and review it on iTunes - your ratings make all the difference. For automatic delivery of new episodes, be sure to subscribe. As always, thanks for listening!

When it comes to time, most of us feel like there just aren’t enough hours in the day. Yet we’ve probably got more time than we think. It's just that the way to win back more hours is counterintuitive. That’s what Laura Vanderkam reveals in her latest book, Off the Clock: Feel Less Busy While Getting More Done. In it, she shares research on how our brains perceive time, interpret new experiences, and make memories. She explains how this knowledge can change our relationship with time, especially if we analyze how we spend it. Laura’s written 5 other books, including, What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast, and her work has appeared in The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, and Fortune. Her TED Talk, How to Gain Control of Your Free Time, has been viewed over 5 million times, and she’s co-host of the podcast, Best of Both Worlds. In this interview we discuss: Why knowing how we spend our time helps us enjoy our down time that much more How tracking our time -- even for a few days -- gives us the data we need to be more mindful Why, to change our relationship with time, we need to take charge of it How a program that tracked a veteran school principal’s time helped him focus more of his attention on instruction How we can each make every day a "realistic ideal day" within the framework of our lives How one way to stretch time is to add more memorable activities into your life Why we need to manage our experiencing selves in order to make more memories that expand our sense of time How we can woo good memories to make our lives feel fuller and richer Why we should leave blank spaces in our calendars, so that we can reflect, slow down, and connect with others in the workplace How savoring increases our enjoyment of an experience as we plan something enjoyable, take the time to anticipate it and then share it with others How we can invest in our happiness by examining the pain points in our lives and, wherever possible, spending wisely to alleviate them How taking the time to exercise gives us energy to enjoy our time more Why taking time to reflect can help us step outside the stream of time so we can ask ourselves if we like how we’re spending it How a better-than-nothing goal, or BTN, can help us accomplish big goals by committing to small daily activities that add up over time, like writing 400 words or running one mile a day How spending time with the people in our lives expands our sense of time and means we should deliberately build time with others into our schedules A simple way of building a network over the course of a year by reaching out to one person a day with a question, a tip, or a helpful article or piece of information Episode Resources @lvanderkam https://lauravanderkam.com/ National SAM Innovation Project Daniel Kahneman Unsubscribe by Jocelyn Glei Fred Bryant 10 Steps to Savoring the Good Things in Life Molly Ford Beck Redbook If you enjoy the podcast, please rate and review it on iTunes - your ratings make all the difference. For automatic delivery of new episodes, be sure to subscribe. As always, thanks for listening!

How do you feel about asking for help? For most of us, asking for help feels uncomfortable, mainly because we expect we’ll be rejected when we ask. Yet there's a good chance we're wrong. Heidi Grant, social psychologist and author of the book, Reinforcements: How to Get People to Help You, explains that a lot more people want to help us than we tend to predict. It’s the way we ask for help that determines the result, and that’s where Heidi’s practical tips can make all the difference. Heidi is Chief Science Officer of the NeuroLeadership Institute and Associate Director of the Motivation Science Center at Columbia University. She’s the author of a number of books, including No One Understands You and What to Do about It and Nine Things Successful People Do Differently. In this interview we discuss: How our brains process social pain -- rejection, exclusion, not feeling valued or respected -- using some of the same areas of the brain as physical pain Why fears of social pain -- rejection, exclusion, not feeling valued or respected -- can prevent us from asking for help How we’re twice as likely to get help from strangers as we think -- we tend to underestimate how much others want to help us How we often underestimate the likelihood that someone will help is because we focus on how onerous the task is We also underestimate the social cost of someone saying no to our request How helping others feeds into a desire to connect and feel good about supporting someone else in their work There are three responses we can have when someone asks for our help: (1) no; (2) yes, but I don’t want to because I have to; and (3) yes, and I want to and it feels rewarding When you ask for help, don’t make it weird by being overly apologetic -- it makes the helper feel uncomfortable How offering a reward can make the helper feel like it’s an exchange or a transaction rather than something they’d want to do for you How offering a reward for someone’s help can shift the motivation they have from wanting to help for the sake of helping to wanting to help only if they get something in return Why we should ask again even if someone has already turned us down -- especially if they’ve turned us down - because they often feel guilty and will want to help the next time How we may not be getting the help we need because we aren’t letting others know we need their help -- they may be completely unaware The fact that nothing goes without saying, since others can’t read our minds to know we need their help The fact that someone may want to help but holds off so as not to offend Why we should be specific in asking for what we need and in asking the right person, rather than making general asks to a group of people Why your requests to meet up with someone just to pick their brain or chat may not be getting you the results you want Why it’s so helpful to communicate what you have in common with the person whose help you’re requesting, like shared goals, experiences, or identities How others are more inclined to help when they’re aware of the impact they’ll be having Why it’s so important to go the extra mile to make the help you seek rewarding to the other person -- that way it’s a win-win for both of you Episode Links  http://www.heidigrantphd.com/ @heidigrantphd NeuroLeadership Institute Motivation Science Center at Columbia Business School Reach by Andy Molinsky Illusion of transparency Diffusion of responsibility If you enjoy the podcast, please rate and review it on iTunes - your ratings make all the difference. For automatic delivery of new episodes, be sure to subscribe. As always, thanks for listening!