Flourish FM

Today we are joined by “Jedi of the unconscious”, Dr. Sarah Sarkis, and applied neuroscientist, Dr. Chris Bertam. Between the two of them, they have a vast range of expertise which converges on their common pursuit, the Shadowboxing Podcast. In this episode, we discover what shadowboxing is and how it relates to flourishing. Chris and Sarah share their thoughts on what it means to flourish, how it relates to flow, and the importance of learning to tolerate struggle. Theory aside, our guests impart some practical advice for increasing your tolerance for discomfort, from cold water submersion to the simple art of breathwork. Tune in for some helpful tools for overcoming shadow boxes and ultimately, flourishing.   Key Points From This Episode: Introducing Drs. Chris Bertram and Sarah Sarkis. The genesis of the name of their podcast, Shadowboxing. What “shadowboxing” means to Sarah and Chris, respectively. The shared goal of their collaboration. Sarah and Chris’ range of expertise and the effectiveness of an integrated approach. How our guests conceptualize flourishing.    The crossover between flow and flourishing. Discussing the value of struggle. How to increase your tolerance for discomfort. The benefits of controlled exposure to cold water. Exploring the struggle of stillness. The connection between shadowboxing and flourishing. How it’s best to help people help themselves, and why it’s so important to do so. Why Sarah believes that biology trumps psychology. The mind-body connection and the effectiveness of breath work. Tools for overcoming shadow boxes. Chris and Sarah’s final words of (very practical) advice.   Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: The Antifragile Academy Dr. Chris Bertram on LinkedIn Dr. Chris Bertram on Instagram Dr. Chris Bertram on Twitter Dr. Sarah Sarkis Dr. Sarah Sarkis on LinkedIn Dr. Sarah Sarkis on Instagram Dr. Sarah Sarkis on Twitter Shadowboxing Podcast EXOS The Shipley School Flourish FM Podcast Flourish FM on Twitter Flourish FM on Instagram Jon Beale Nick Holton

In today's episode, we go deep into the idea and components of a good life with Associate Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, Dr. Marc Schulz. Marc is the co-author of the The Good Life (2023), a Professor of Psychology at Bryn Mawr College, a psychologist, and a practicing therapist. This conversation covers a selection of the interesting and enriching findings presented in Marc's book, practical strategies for developing social fitness, where material wealth should fit into our priorities, and why difficult experiences are such a necessary component of flourishing. The main thrust of Marc's recent work and today's chat is the central importance of relationships and how we can best aid the nurturing and maintenance of these.   Key Points From This Episode: Marc introduces the Harvard Study of Adult Development and the field of adult development. Clarifying the language used in the study and the two components that make up the 'good life'. Forging a good life through challenges and difficult experiences.  The themes of aspiring and becoming in Marc's understanding of flourishing.  Marc talks about the different types of relationships that contribute to a good life. Navigating and handling the inevitable conflict in our relationships.  Gratitude and appreciation and the benefits of generosity and giving. The critical role that relationships play in the maintenance of happiness and health. Marc unpacks the idea of social fitness and how we build it through reflection and awareness. Money and happiness; the healthiest ways to use material ambitions as a means rather than an end.  Human weakness around forecasting and common regrets that Marc has identified.  Marc's strategies for avoiding unnecessary regrets and improving forecasting. A story from The Good Life about human connection, shared interests, and hope. Maintaining human connections within the array of demands on our time.  Marc's closing lesson about flourishing and leaning into relationships.    Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: The Antifragile Academy Dr. Marc Schulz The Good Life Marc Schulz on LinkedIn Bryn Mawr Harvard Study of Adult Development Robert Waldinger Lydia Denworth Why Good Things Happen to Good People Stephen Post Dan Pink Robert Waldinger TED Talk The Shipley School Flourish FM Podcast Flourish FM on Twitter Flourish FM on Instagram Jon Beale Nick Holton

In this episode, we talked to Dr. Gilda Scarfe, expert on mental toughness, about what mental toughness is and how to build it.    Gilda Scarfe is the founder and CEO of Positive Ed & the Mental Toughness Institute, and a member of the advisory board for the Global Flourishing Study, led by the Human Flourishing Program at Harvard University, Baylor University and Gallup. Gilda is a positive psychology practitioner and mental toughness expert with a Ph.D. in the conceptualization of mental toughness and its application in education. She has worked in performance psychology, mental toughness, and leadership science for over 15 years.  Gilda specializes in the design and implementation of flourishing and mental toughness in learning, decision-making, quality of relationships, performance, and organizational climate; measuring mental toughness; and the influence of mental toughness training on key life outcomes.  Gilda is an international keynote speaker and consults around the world with school and Fortune 500 companies on best practices for integrating wellbeing, mental toughness and positive psychology domains into training and product design. She works with global businesses, high-growth startups, individuals, elite athletes, coaches and teams.   Key conversation points: What mental toughness is: Gilda’s “SCARFE” model of mental toughness, consisting of Self-efficacy; Commitment (the extent to which you follow through with a promise); Attitude; Relationships; Focus; and Emotional agility The importance to mental toughness of regulating our reaction to stress, self-awareness - being in tune with and responding to our emotions, and being in tune with our emotions The emphasis in Gilda’s work of building and expanding people’s agency, and the importance of self-efficacy to human agency Why the ability to create an accurate narrative about your life is important for building mental toughness The extent to which mental toughness is a personality trait and the extent to which it’s learned The virtues and strengths involved in mental toughness, including perseverance; curiosity; grit; resilience; patience; temperance; self-regulation; and distress tolerance How to connect mental toughness with knowing when to persevere with grit and knowing when to quit What “cognitive flexibility” is and why it’s important for mental toughness, particularly in building the skills to be able to change commitments and navigate change

In this special episode, Jon and Nick were interviewed about the science of flourishing and what it means to flourish by performance coach and strategist J.R. Reid, for his podcast, Coming Up Clutch.    Key conversation points: What human flourishing is and how you can experience it The two greatest predictors of general well-being, life satisfaction, and fulfillment What you can’t miss if you want to have more life-satisfaction and experience fulfillment Highlights: [00:01 - 11:50] Introducing Nick and Jon Nick's and Jon’s most embarrassing moment Nick's and Jon’’s backgrounds, stories, and professional journeys [11:51 - 21:00] What human flourishing is and how you can experience it Jon: Methodology behind the research: Identify the things in life that you do for the pursuit of nothing else (i.e. doing the thing is an end in itself). Do that with no further goal in mind. Flourishing research today looks for multiple areas of life that you do just for the sake of doing it (e.g. pursuing relationships, being happy, being satisfied, fulfilling your potential, experiencing flow, etc.) and figuring out ways that you can enhance those as much as possible in your life. Key areas: Fulfillment, of potential and in the sense of life satisfaction  Flow Close social relationships Happiness & positive emotions Character strengths or virtues Mental and physical health Meaning and purpose Accomplishment There’s no research that says you have to reach a baseline in each of those areas to flourish. Human Flourishing Program at Harvard's account: your individual well-being is high and your well-being in relation to others and your context is high (i.e. defined interpersonally, among a community). So you can have high well-being, yet not be flourishing. Positive psychology: if you have high psychological well-being, then you’re flourishing. Nick:  What’s not in the Human Flourishing Program at Harvard’s account of flourishing: achievement or success. The gap between fulfillment and success is often because we’re relying on the end goal of success (i.e something done for a very specific outcome). Flourishing is well-being, generally feeling good (but not necessarily all the time), and performing optimally in areas of meaning.  Areas of meaning is important because if you perform optimally in something you’re forced into, it won’t provide the same level of satisfaction as someone who’s performing optimally in areas of meaning. [21:01 - 24:45] The role purpose plays in flourishing Research: Asking the question about your personal “Why?”  in life is conceptually different than purpose. Purpose is a sub-component or pathway to meaning (i.e. it’s about impact and contribution) - ”it’s a bit of the 'me' and a bit of the 'we'.” The best of the best have both extrinsic and intrinsic motivations, but they’re predominantly intrinsic (i.e. they know what their why is and what they’re doing each day, and orient their day around it via calendaring, recovery, etc.). Success on the field of competition is not an automatic route to well-being, life satisfaction, meaning, or fulfillment. [24:46 - 34:15] The two greatest predictors of general well-being, satisfaction of life, and fulfillment Meaning Quality of relationships (social connection, community, intimacy, friendship, etc.) 2018: In the UN’s annual happiness report regarding satisfaction in the workplace, #1 predictor of workplace satisfaction was interpersonal relationships (i.e. we have to like the people we work with); #2 was that we must find our job interesting (#3 was pay). Jon regarding money: common mistake people make is confusing a means with an end in terms of how they’re living their lives (i.e. they’re focusing on the means rather than the end).  The “when I _______, I’ll focus more on my relationships. Until then, I’m going to grind it out.” Money can help prevent you from suffering, but it can’t be an end in itself (i.e. it’s not the end source of fulfillment). Once all your material needs are completely met, it’s generally not doing much for you. Human beings can’t help but compare themselves to others. [34:16 - 41:53] What you can’t miss if you want to have more life-satisfaction and fulfillment Nick: Ask yourself: What’s your recipe for a good life? What ingredients do you want? How much of each ingredient do you need? Intentionality - cook your recipe! What’s most important to you (i.e. want), when does it hit a point of diminishing returns (i.e. need), and how do you put the recipe together? Jon:  Part of the journey to living a good life is identifying what works best for you and what makes you different from other people. Enhance the eight domains that research says are ends in themselves, but don’t focus on making one far surpass the others thus to the detriment of the others. Happiness and other positive emotions Good, close social relationships Meaning and purpose Flow Accomplishment Mental and physical health Character (developing strengths and character virtues) Fulfillment, of potential and in the sense of life satisfaction [41:54 - 46:58] What’s anti-fragility and how can we leverage it to become a better leader? Fragile = adversity strikes, we brake Resilient = adversity strikes, we navigate it and come out the other side Antifragile = adversity strikes, we navigate it, come out the other side, and grow our capacity because of it (this is not the “suck it up” attitude or rigidity) The goal: develop stress tolerance to unpleasantness, because research tells us we need unpleasantness to grow [46:59 - 54:01] Wrapping Up Nick and Jon’s big domino How to connect with Nick and Jon KEY QUOTES “Success is not an automatic route to meaning and fulfillment” - Dr. Nick Holton “For life satisfaction, don’t over-index on money.” - Dr. Nick Holton “Part of the journey to living a good life is identifying what works best for you.” - Dr. Jon Beale “Prioritize what matters the most to you.” - Dr. Jon Beale   You can also check out this podcast on Coming Up Clutch.   CONNECT WITH NICK AND JON Nick The Antifragile Athlete: theantifragileacademy.com FlourishFM Podcast: flourishfmpodcast.com Linkedin: /in/nickholton Twitter: @dr_nickholton Instagram: @dr.nickholton   Jon FlourishFM Podcast: flourishfmpodcast.com Linkedin: /in/jonathanbeale Twitter: @DrJonathanBeale Instagram: @jonnybeale Facebook: @jonnybeale CONNECT WITH J.R.  Facebook: @jamesJRreid Instagram: @jamesjrreid LinkedIn: in/jamesjrreid/ Twitter: @jamesJRreid Website: jamesreid.com Podcast: jamesreid.com/podcast RATE & REVIEW this episode on Apple: https://jamesreid.com/review  

In this episode, we talked to Professor Francis Su about the role of mathematics in flourishing, how mathematics can promote flourishing, and his argument that the purpose of mathematics is to support flourishing.  Francis Su is the Benediktsson-Karwa Professor of Mathematics at Harvey Mudd College and a former president of the Mathematical Association of America. In 2013, he received the Haimo Award, a nationwide teaching prize for college math faculty, and in 2018 he won the Halmos-Ford writing award. His work has been featured in Quanta Magazine, Wired, and the New York Times. His 2020 book Mathematics for Human Flourishing, which won the 2021 Euler Book Prize, offers an inclusive vision of what math is, who it’s for, and why anyone should learn it. Key conversation points: Francis’ definition of flourishing as a “wholeness of being and doing” and the way he distinguishes between flourishing and happiness Francis’ argument on the role of mathematics in human flourishing How mathematics can cultivate virtues important for flourishing and which virtues mathematics can cultivate in a particularly strong way Francis’ approach towards teaching mathematics in such a way as to cultivate virtues among students of mathematics, such as creativity and an appreciation for beauty Francis’ correspondence with Christopher Jackson, an inmate serving a 32-year sentence for armed robberies who started writing to Francis seven years into his sentence, about his passion for mathematics, and the influence this correspondence has had on Francis’ work on mathematics and flourishing, and how he sees mathematics  Francis’ views on how mathematics education needs to change to cultivate virtues francissu.com flourishfmpodcast.com 

In this episode, we talked to happiness expert Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar about the science of happiness, focusing on his account of happiness as “wholebeing,” comprised of five elements of well-being which make up his “SPIRE” model: Spiritual, Physical, Intellectual, Relational and Emotional well-being.    Tal Ben-Shahar is an author and lecturer who taught two of the largest classes in Harvard University’s history, Positive Psychology and The Psychology of Leadership, and taught Happiness Studies at Columbia University. His books on happiness have been translated into more than thirty languages and have appeared on bestseller lists around the world, and his work has featured on media outlets including CNN, BBC and the Daily Show.    Tal obtained his PhD in Organizational Behavior and BA in Philosophy and Psychology from Harvard. Today he consults and lectures around the world to executives in multinational corporations, including Google and Microsoft, the general public, and at-risk populations. Tal is a serial entrepreneur, and is the co-founder and chief learning officer of Happiness Studies Academy, Potentialife, Maytiv, and Happier.TV.    Key conversation points: How Tal defines happiness and its relation to flourishing: flourishing is the outcome of happiness The relation between Tal’s “SPIRE” model of happiness and flourishing, and between happiness and wholeness Tal’s definition of spirituality as living a life in which we see our activities as meaningful and purposeful Practices for building spiritual wellbeing: exercise to write down a “calling description” rather than a job description Tal’s criticism of widespread hurriedness today, and a strategy for going through life in less of a hurry  The connection between happiness and “antifragility”  Antifragility as “Resilience 2.0,” and its connection with post-traumatic growth: not only bouncing back, but becoming stronger and healthier than before A principle Tal recommends for recovering from trauma: “things don’t happen for the best, but we can make the best of things that happen,” and how to apply this to our lives The connection between physical exercise and happiness: “not exercising is like taking a depressant”   talbenshahar.com happinessstudies.academy flourishfmpodcast.com

In this episode, we talked to Dr Lucy Hone and Dr Denise Quinlan about their work on building well-being and resilience among different populations, and how to develop the most important skills associated with resilience.   Dr Lucy Hone is author of the 2017 book Resilient Grieving: How to Find Your Way Through a Devastating Loss and gave the TED talk ‘3 Secrets of Resilient People’, which was among the Top 20 TED talks of 2020. She is co-author (with Denise Quinlan) of the Educators’ Guide to Whole-school Wellbeing, co-convenor of Wellbeing in Education New Zealand, presenter on many of the New Zealand Institute of Wellbeing and Resilience’s online courses, and has featured in the Guardian, Washington Post, and on the BBC, ABC, Channel News Asia, Swedish Television, The Bolt Report Australia and Television New Zealand.   Dr Denise Quinlan is acknowledged internationally as an outstanding facilitator and trainer, helping people explore wellbeing and resilience. Participants have described training with her as ‘life-changing’. She has worked alongside leading resilience researchers Martin Seligman and Karen Reivich, delivering the Penn Resilience Program in Australia and the UK. Her podcast, ‘Bringing Wellbeing to Life’, was recommended by TED in their culture list for 2020. Denise’s academic research is published internationally, and her publications include the Educators’ Guide to Whole-school Wellbeing, which she co-authored with Lucy Hone. She is co-convenor of Wellbeing in Education New Zealand.    Key conversation points: What resilience is and the difference between individual and collective resilience. Individual resilience can be thought of as “learning to swim” and collective resilience thought of as “building the pool.” We need both to be truly resilient. Ways to build resilience, individually and collectively: healthy relationships; having a “mission” in life; cultivating self-awareness, self-regulation and self-compassion; and developing flexible and accurate thinking. What trauma is and what post-traumatic growth (PTSG) is, and Lucy & Denise’s argument for why PTSG requires struggle after trauma.  Our “explanatory style”: how we explain what has happened to us, and why this is important for well-being and resilience. 

Dr. Lisa Miller, author of The Spiritual Child and a professor, discusses the benefits of spirituality for well-being, the distinction between spirituality and religious belief, and the transformative effect of service and altruism. They explore concepts like transcendence, self-transcendent experiences, synchronicity, and the power of deep relationships. They also discuss the connection between spirituality, meaning, and living a morally good life.

Dr. Marisa G. Franco is a psychologist, Professor at the University of Maryland and author of the New York Times bestseller Platonic: How The Science of Attachment Can Help You Make — and Keep — Friends. She writes about friendship for Psychology Today and has been a featured connection expert for major publications including the New York Times, The Telegraph, and Vice. She speaks on belonging at corporations, government agencies, non-profits, and universities. On her website you can take a quiz to assess your strengths and weaknesses as a friend & reach out for speaking engagements.   Key themes for discussion:  The role of friendship in flourishing, and why friendship is so important for flourishing How we can apply research on attachment styles to cultivate great friendships. https://www.flourishfmpodcast.com

In this episode, we talked to therapist and relationship coach, Nicole Nourian, about healthy relationships and how to build them, character strengths such as resilience and autonomy, the importance of growth in relationships, and how to cultivate “radical acceptance” - coming to terms with difficult events in life outside our control.    Nicole Nourian is a therapist born and raised in LA. Her journey in psychology started at UCLA, where she graduated with a Bachelors of Arts in Psychology and also became a certified yoga instructor and certified life coach, specializing in relationships. Nicole went on to receive her Masters in Clinical Psychology at Pepperdine University, and is currently working as a therapist in LA.    Nicole’s experience includes working with individuals, families, and couples to guide them towards meeting their goals in the healthiest way possible. Nicole does not apply one theory to all her clients but rather approaches each individual with an eclectic approach that fits them best. Nicole has observed in her therapy the crucial importance of romantic and platonic relationships play in our daily lives. Whether it be heartbreak, attachment issues, animosity with loved ones, or maintaining a healthy relationship, Nicole emphasizes the ways in which dissatisfaction with one’s relationships can have a huge impact on one’s mental health.    In her practice, Nicole works hard to break barriers and old habits that may be contributing to one’s happiness. Nicole’s Instagram page has generated millions of views on content relating to self-esteem, relationships, and mental health.   Key conversation points: Types of relationships, the connections between them and their roles in our lives Nicole’s argument that our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship to develop, because of its benefits for our well-being and positive impact on other relationship types What a healthy relationship with yourself involves and how to build it What resilience is, its importance to living well, its connection with other psychological concepts such as antifragility and grit, and how to build it The connection between building healthy relationships and building resilience What autonomy is and why it is important for relationships “Radical acceptance”: coming to terms with difficult events in life outside our control - what this involves and how to cultivate it  The importance of individual and mutual growth in healthy relationships   Instagram @BalancewithNic Booking therapy with Nicole flourishfmpodcast.com