Wizard of Ads Monday Morning Memo

Roy H. Williams
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Oct 17, 2022 • 8min

How Quickly Will My Ads Start Working?

Ten different factors will determine how quickly your ads pay off.Do your ads capture attention or are they easy to ignore?Do your ads speak to a felt need, or are you answering a question no one was asking?Are you a known, trusted, and respected seller?Is the brand you sell known, trusted, and respected?What percentage of the public will ever – in their lifetime ­– purchase a product or service in your category?How often does the average person need to buy what you sell?Does your ad make the customer feel any urgency due to low price or limited availability?What percentage of the public knows your name and what you sell?In your category, what name will customers typically think of first and feel the best about?What percentage of the public considers you to be their preferred provider?Your answers to questions 5 & 6 indicate your product purchase cycle. Here are those questions again:“5. What percentage of the public will ever – in their lifetime ­– purchase a product or service in your category?”“6. How often does the average person buy what you sell?”Generally speaking, the longer your product purchase cycle, the longer it will take before your mass-media ads deliver a positive R.O.I.Online ads, however, work immediately. But will the customer type your name into the search block? If they do, you have already won the heart of that customer. They have chosen you as their preferred provider. This means you will enjoy an extremely low cost-per-click with a high conversion rate.But if they type the name of your competitor into the search block, then it will be your competitor that enjoys an extremely low cost-per-click and a high conversion rate.The starting pistol fires the moment a customer types your category into the search block instead of your name or the name of a competitor. Their computer screen overflows with the names of companies making them offers. If they see a name they recognize, the footrace is over in moments. But if no name is recognized, the names of several runners will be clicked.Every runner will pay a high cost-per-click due to gambling on an “unbranded” keyword.But only one runner will take home the prize money.Costs-per-click have never been higher.Mass media costs have never been lower.If you sell a product or a service with a long purchase cycle, the bad news about mass media is that it will take 3 to 6 months of weekly advertising before you begin to gain any real momentum.The good news is that the longer you use mass media, the better it works.1 This is how you make your name the one that customers type into the search block.I believe:Every advertiser should have a website.Every advertiser should be willing to pay for 100% of the clicks when a customer types their nameinto the search blockOrganic results are no longer enough.You’ve got to pay the price for your name to be seen.Your cost-per-click is extremely low when your name is typed into the search block.(I’ll tell you about #6 in a minute.)Ten years ago, Inc. magazine published an article by Jeff Haden titled, “How Google is Killing Organic Search.”“If your business depends on customers finding you in search results, you’re in trouble–and it’s likely to get worse. If case you haven’t noticed, pay-per-click ads are slowly taking over Google’s search engine results. That should come as no surprise since approximately 97% of Google’s revenues are generated by its core business, search engine advertising; Google is understandably protecting and extending its revenue turf… If you’re a business that depends on organic, unpaid search results to drive traffic, you’ve undoubtedly seen a steady decline in visitors and sales.”6. The cost-per-click is extremely high when you compete for unbranded “category” keywords such as “air conditioning repair.”A Tale of Two A/C Companies“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness… In one city, a $40,000,000 company is spending only $240,000 per year on Google ads because they became a household word by spending $461,000 per year on radio ads. Total ad spend: $681,000 per year. In another city, a $15,000,000 company is spending $700,000 per year on Google ads because they thought mass media was too expensive. Both cities are among the 25 largest in America, but neither city is in the top 10.”The story you have read is true. The $40,000,000 company began 10 years ago. The $15,000,000 company began 20 years ago. I’ve known the first company since it was born. I’ve known the second company for about 2 months.Things are about to change dramatically for the second company.Aroo. And again I say Aroo.Roy H. Williams1 When you use mass media 52 weeks a year, the growth of your business in year 2 will usually be twice the growth of year one. The growth in year 3 will be about triple the growth of year one. Keep in mind that we are measuring growth in dollars, not in percentages, and the competitive environment and the economic environment remain unchanged. Anything can happen in year 4. Some business owners launch a moon shot, while others begin to realize they are running a business bigger than the length of their own shadow… They’re not tall enough to ride this ride. – RHWIf you have paid taxes, borrowed money, invested, or bought anything, Janet Yellen has had more influence over your wallet than any other person on earth. No other person in American history has served as Chair of the White House Council of Economic Advisors, then Chair of the Federal Reserve, and now, Secretary of the Treasury. Jon Hilsenrath, an award-winning writer for The Wall Street Journal, has written the definitive biography of Janet Yellen and her Nobel Prize-winning husband, economist George Akerlof. Go to MondayMorningRadio.com. Prepare to be amazed.
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Oct 10, 2022 • 9min

That Hovering Question Mark

Every good story – and every good ad – begins with a statement that triggers more questions than it answers.“I do not like to turn left when leaving my neighborhood…”“I was a 10-year-old boy holding a flashlight for my father…”“You are sitting in a candlelit restaurant when you hear a strange noise…”The second line of your story is where the narrative arc begins. The narrative arc is the sequence of events, the plot. [In a radio ad, sfx means sound effect]You are sitting in a candlelit restaurant when you hear a strange noise[sfx-open] and the walls are instantly covered with jagged shards of golden light.You hear another strange noise[sfx-close] and the jagged shards of light are gone.Murmurs of wonder flood the candlelit restaurant.[sfx-open] The jagged shards appear on the walls again, dancing in unison to some silent music that only they can hear.[sfx-close] And now they are gone.The crowd applauds this unexpected delight. Smiles are beaming. Teeth are bright.[sfx-open] More jagged shards. More golden light.[sfx-close] No one notices the man at the table in the middle of the room, staring at his tablecloth, lost in thought. A woman emerges from the shadows behind him. Startled, he looks up, drops to one knee,[sfx-open] and the golden shards of light dance fast and bright across his face and hers.And then they kiss.And the candlelit restaurant explodes in applause.[sfx-close]  A tiny little box sits empty on the table.Flickering Firelight diamonds, available exclusively at Morgan Jewelers.Begin your ad with a statement that triggers more questions than it answers! If your opening line reveals what is to come, change the opening line.“Guidomeyer’s Furniture is having a sale!”When an ad begins with a sentence like that, you can be sure it was written by someone who follows the 5 W’s of journalism: Who, What, When, Where and Why.Ads written by journalists are why most people hate advertising.Guidomeyer’s Furniture is having a sale!This week, Guidomeyer’s is having a saleat 1715 Barkmaster Avenue! Save! Save!Save up to 50% this week at Guidomeyer’sannual clearance sale! Guidomeyer’s has beenserving the needs of Pottersville for 71 years,so come to Guidomeyer’s and shop localfor all your furniture needs! We have recliners,coffee tables, end tables, nightstands, TV traysand financing will be available! Guidomeyer’sAnnual Clearance Sale! This week! 1715 Barkmaster!Hurry, hurry, hurry before all the good stuff is gone!Guidomeyer’s!Guidomeyer is who.A Sale is what.This Week is when.1715 Barkmaster is where.Annual Clearance is why.That formula is so simple an idiot could use it. And idiots often do.No, I don’t mean that. Words have meanings, so let me be accurate. I don’t think such a person is an ‘idiot.’ ‘Moron’ would be the accurate term. Technically, a moron is an adult with the mental age of 7-10. Morons are more intelligent than idiots and imbeciles, but they are an especially troublesome group because they are not aware of their shortcomings.Don’t be a moron.Getting the listener’s attention is easy, but holding that attention requires skill.Open with a statement that triggers more questions than it answers.Bridge quickly into the narrative arc, the plot.When your listener thinks they know where you are headed, take them somewhere else.Introduce divergent elements that don’t belong together,then make them converge, add up, and make sense.Lead your listener to the conclusion, then allow them to discover it on their own. Don’t tell them the answer. Let them hear it in their mind.Leave out the irrelevant, the predictable, and anything that makes your ad sound like an ad.Poetic meter makes words musical.To achieve it, arrange the drumbeats of the stressed and unstressed syllables of your words so that they create a percussive rhythm in the mind. There are a couple of dozen rhythms that are easily achievable in English.The simplest of those – anapestic meter – is two light stresses followed by a heavy third stress.pum-pum-PUM-pum-pum-PUM- pum-pum-PUM-pum-pum-PUMAnd his cohorts were gleaming in purple and gold;And the sheen of their spears was like stars on the sea,Like the leaves of the forest when Summer is green,Like the leaves of the forest when Autumn has blown,For the Angel of Death spread his wings on the blast,And the eyes of the sleepers waxed deadly and chill,And there lay the steed with his nostril all wide,And the foam of his gasping lay white on the turf,And so there lay the rider distorted and grey,And the widows of Ashur are loud in their wail,So I walk by the edge of a lake in my dream.It is easy to become a musical writer. All you have to do is spend time reading the words of the great ones.Don’t read ads. Read the poems, short stories and novels written by the winners of the Pulitzer and Nobel prizes in Literature.“In the late summer of that year we lived in a house in a village that looked across the river and the plain to the mountains. In the bed of the river there were pebbles and boulders, dry and white in the sun, and the water was clear and swiftly moving and blue in the channels. Troops went by the house and down the road and the dust they raised powdered the leaves of the trees. The trunks of the trees too were dusty and the leaves fell early that year and we saw the troops marching along the road and the dust rising and leaves, stirred by the breeze, falling and the soldiers marching and afterward the road bare and white except for the leaves.”– Ernest Hemingway, the opening lines of A Farewell to Arms“I read that paragraph and I want to cry. It’s incredibly beautiful. He broke every rule. All the repetition! In four sentences the word ‘and’ appears 15 times. What’s going on is just an unforgettable display of rhythmic mastery. There’s a kind of, almost a kind of hypnosis, an incantation that is about the frame of mind you’re going into the war with.”– Stephen Cushman, Literary Scholar“Listening to Bach – and recognizing the repetition of particular notes in Bach – inspired Hemingway to write A Farewell to Arms.” – Miriam Mandel, Literary ScholarTake another look at Hemingway’s opening sentence and notice the questions it raises: “In the late summer of that year (What year?) we lived in a house in a village that looked across the river and the plain to the mountains. (Where are we?)”You can do this. None of it is beyond you. Morons will tell you that you’re doing it wrong, but your ads will take your listeners on a marvelous journey, and your clients to heights that no other ad writer can take them.Do you want to be a journalist, or do you want to be an ad writer?Roy H. WilliamsMany business owners and company employees find their younger colleagues irritating. Guess what? The feeling is mutual, as Millennials and Gen-Z often lack respect for their older co-workers. Chris DeSantis has studied generational differences for 18 years and believes the generational friction that is so prevalent these days can be leveraged to the benefit of the organization and all its people. Listen and learn as Chris DeSantis tells roving reporter Rotbart how most companies get it wrong. How does Rotbart find such fascinating guests! MondayMorningRadio.com
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Oct 3, 2022 • 5min

The Immortals

I hope you are not prone to regrets. The next time you make the wrong decision, I want you to look back and remember that it seemed like a good idea at the time. You were given incomplete information. The future was unknowable. What is there to regret?Nevertheless, the dull ache of regret came upon me when Kary Mullis died without warning. I loved Kary for his sense of humor and his wit, and I will always cherish what he wrote in my copy of his book, Dancing Naked in the Mind Field. And then Loren Lewis died without giving me a heads-up. Loren was never a father-figure; he was my outrageous older brother. He was bombastic and vain and he taught me how to get things done when I didn’t have any money, and he would have taken a bullet for me.And then Perry McKee walked over the horizon without a wink or a wave good-bye. Perry was extraverted and impulsive and he made everyone laugh. When we were 14, Perry decided the day had finally arrived that he should light a fart and become the world’s first jet-propelled human. He wanted me to hold the match for him but I vigorously declined, so Ernie Henry held the match as the rest of us stood anxiously outside the closed door of Perry’s windowless bathroom. It was Brother McKee’s deep conviction that the miracle of jet-propulsion should be observed in total darkness.When Perry bellowed like a bull and tumbled out the doorway, we knew that Ernie had held the match too close.Ernie Henry is gone now, too. The immortals from my past are disappearing.The last time I spoke to Kary Mullis, Loren Lewis, Perry McKee and Ernie Henry, I didn’t know that it would be the last time I spoke to them.My only regrets are the things I left unsaid.Please don’t read too much into these musings. I’m fine. Pennie is fine. No one is dying.It’s just that time of year. The green of the grass is soaking back into the earth and the leaves are turning red and orange. Children are gathering into rooms again where an adult tells them not to talk. Men are chasing a tapered leather ball as escaped convicts blow whistles and toss their handkerchiefs into the air. I look for Andy Griffith to ask if he wants to get a Big Orange drink, but Andy is nowhere to be found. It won’t be long before my lawn pulls a white blanket up to its chin, just outside my front door. The squirrel in his cap and the plants in burlap will all settle down for a long winter’s nap. And then Springtime will pierce the pale heart of winter with a shout of green and a blade of grass, and we will dress in bright colors for Easter.Kary Mullis opened the door of genetic research when he invented Polymerase Chain Reaction.Loren Lewis opened the future of a 15-year-old boy when he showed him how to be unafraid.Perry McKee and Ernie Henry had no regrets. It seemed like a good idea at the time.Roy H. WilliamsSteve Curtin is ranked as one of the top 30 customer service experts in the world. His clients include Carnival Cruise Line, NAPA Auto Parts, and TJ Maxx. Steve believes every owner and every manager needs to have “the conversation” with every employee about why their job matters, and why their company matters. “The NASA janitor wasn’t mopping floors; he was helping to send a man to the moon.” Imagine what would happen if your employees felt the same way about the greater purpose of the work they do in your company! Steve Curtin and roving reporter Rotbart talk about it at MondayMorningRadio.com.
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Sep 26, 2022 • 6min

Are You a Manager or a Leader?

Eighty-eight percent of the Fortune 500 companies that existed in 1955 are gone. Poof.Half of them withered because they had a manager in the role of CEO when they desperately needed a leader. The other half were destroyed by a leader when a manager could have held the company together and grown it incrementally.The most important role of a board of directors is to know when their company needs a leader and when it needs a manager.Managers prefer incremental change, evolution.Leaders prefer exponential change, revolution.Managers guard the status quo. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”Leaders invent new ways of thinking. “If it ain’t broke, break it, so we can create something new.”Managers prefer a map and a path.Leaders prefer unexplored territory.Managers say, “Ready, Aim, Fire.”Leaders say “Ready, Fire, Aim.” But this isn’t as crazy as it sounds. When shooting a cannon, this is called finding your range.Managers focus on planning and execution.Leaders focus on improvisation and innovation.Managers make organizational charts.Leaders make messes.Managers are given authority over others.Leaders are voluntarily followed by others.Kodak, Blockbuster, MySpace, General Motors, and General Electric were overwhelmingly dominant in their categories until their Manager-CEO’s fell asleep while guarding the status quo.Do not think the internet killed K-Mart, Montgomery Wards, Sears, J.C. Penney, or Bed Bath & Beyond. Walmart sells all those same products and they’re still doing fine because they saw the marketplace rapidly changing in August, 2016 and responded by putting visionary leader Marc Lore in charge of Walmart’s US e-commerce operations.Amazon did $398.8 billion in 2021.Walmart did $488 billion.Managers mistakenly think they can lead.Leaders mistakenly think they can manage.I know only two men who can perform both functions. Dewey Jenkins is one of them.If I written those words during the 10 years Dewey and I worked together, it would have sounded like flattery. But now that he is retired and I have stepped away, I am free to speak the truth.Good mothers can also perform both functions. Every good mother is a miraculous manager and a visionary leader.I was raised by an extremely good mother and my sons were raised by another.Good managers know what to “protect at all costs.” They know what not to change.Bad managers look only for compliance and conformity, blind to the special abilities that hide within their employees. But good managers see those special abilities and call them to the surface where they can sparkle. A good manager encourages your special ability and uses it to maximum effect, while partnering you with someone who sparkles in the area where you are weak.When you see a legendary duo, you can be sure that a brilliant manager put them together.The genius of visionary leaders is that they charge full speed ahead when they see opportunity on the horizon. When they see a storm coming, they steer around it.Visionary leaders recognize what is no longer working and do hesitate to change it. Bang. Gone.If you want to listen to the inner thoughts of visionary leaders and understand how their minds work, there are only two books you need to read.Sam Walton: Made in America (John Huey and Sam Walton)Iacocca: An Autobiography (Lee Iacocca and William Novak)As a special bonus to yourself, take a look at – Where Have All the Leaders Gone? – a slim volume written by Lee Iacocca when he was 82 years old.I love that book.And I love you, too.Thanks for reading my ramblings.Roy H. WilliamsSix times a year, Jonathan Dahl produces a magazine that reaches 1.8 million global executives and business owners. He also publishes a weekly online newsletter that has gets more than 3.5 million annual page views. Jonathan generates dazzling corporate content for a privately held consulting firm. “Whether your company has 5 employees or 5,000,” Jonathan says, “you need to be generating regular articles and blog posts that showcase your values, how you operate, and how today’s trends relate to you, your business, and your customers.” Roving reporter Rotbart is back on the job and he’s looking refreshed and happy and young! Woo-hoo! It’s time for MondayMorningRadio.com!
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Sep 19, 2022 • 9min

The Problem With Plato

Anne Lamott wrote Bird by Bird, a marvelous book about writing. In it, she says,“Becoming a writer is about becoming conscious. When you’re conscious and writing from a place of insight and simplicity and real caring about the truth, you have the ability to throw the lights on for your reader. He or she will recognize his or her life and truth in what you say, in the pictures you have painted, and this decreases the terrible sense of isolation that we have all had too much of.”I’m going to attempt to do that today. I am going to attempt to write “from a place of insight and simplicity and real caring about the truth.”I hope I succeed, but you will have to be the judge.Another of my favorite paragraphs from Bird by Bird is when Anne Lamott says,“I know some very great writers, writers you love who write beautifully and have made a great deal of money, and not one of them sits down routinely feeling wildly enthusiastic and confident. Not one of them writes elegant first drafts. All right, one of them does, but we do not like her very much. We do not think that she has a rich inner life or that God likes her or can even stand her. (Although when I mentioned this to my priest friend Tom, he said that you can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.)”I have often quoted Anne’s friend because I believe his remarkable statement bears repeating: “You can safely assume that you have created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.”I wrote to you recently about my first job in radio. It was at a Christian station in Tulsa owned by a wonderful man name Stuart who lived in North Carolina. He was impossibly tall and thin and looked exactly like a clean-shaven Abraham Lincoln.I had only been there a couple of years when Stuart flew to Tulsa, summoned everyone to the radio station, packed us all into the conference room and said, “People who work in Christian media often see and hear things that discourage them.” His face fell and he looked sad as he said, “And then they become bitter.”I could tell he was struggling to find the right words as he looked down at the ground. After a long silence he looked up into my eyes and said, “Promise me that you’ll never become bitter.”I looked into his eyes and nodded my head. One by one, he looked at every other employee until they nodded their head or said aloud, “I promise I’ll never become bitter.”When he had extracted that solemn promise from each of us, he drove back to the airport and flew home.It was a very short meeting that happened 40 years ago but I have never forgotten it.And I never became bitter.In later years I began to identify myself as “a follower of Jesus” rather than call myself a Christian, because “Christian” was coming to mean something that I don’t believe Jesus ever intended.I get uncomfortable when people sign God’s name to things Jesus never said.Thomas Jefferson, too, was uncomfortable with Christians who use the logic of Plato to extrapolate truths from the Bible. Platonists1 will argue, “If this statement in the Bible is true, then by extension this second thing is true. And if this second thing is true, then by extension this third thing is true.”I have been reading the personal correspondence of Thomas Jefferson in the national archives at founders.archives.govTwo hundred and six years ago – on October 16th, 1816 – George Logan wrote a letter to his friend, Thomas Jefferson, congratulating him for publishing,“a system of ethics extracted from the Holy Scriptures, as tending to support the correct maxim—that religion should influence the political as well as the moral conduct of man… It is to be lamented that there exists even among professed Christians a disinclination to have their political maxims and transactions subjected to the rules of Christianity… Christianity hitherto (except in a few instances) has suffered by its connection with civil policy: and from the very nature of civil society, it must suffer in such connection; until both learning and power are transferred into the hands of virtuous men, and made subservient to piety.”In essence, George Logan was suggesting that Christians should seize the reins of power in government.Thomas Jefferson replied to George Logan on November 12, 1816, by saying,“I am quite astonished at the idea which seems to have got abroad; that I propose publishing something on the subject of religion. And this is said to have arisen from a letter of mine to my friend Charles Thomson, in which certainly there is no trace of such an idea.”Exactly 253 words later, Jefferson concludes his response to George Logan’s suggestion by reminding him of what happened in England.Thomas Jefferson said that people mistakenly believed that he – Jefferson – was planning to publish a book on Biblical Ethics in Government because of something he had written in a letter to Charles Thomson on January 9, 1816.I did not rest until I found that letter to Thomson.Allow me to frame this for you: Charles Thomson had recently published A Synopsis of the Four Evangelists(Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John) and sent a copy to Jefferson. In his “Thank You” letter to Thomson, Jefferson told him that he had already purchased a copy and cut it apart so that he might extract the words of Jesus and paste them into a blank book:“I too have made a wee little book… which I call the Philosophy of Jesus… made by cutting the texts out of the book, and arranging them on the pages of a blank book, in a certain order of time or subject. A more beautiful or precious morsel of ethics I have never seen. It is a document in proof that I am a real Christian… a disciple of the doctrines of Jesus, very different from the Platonists1, who call me infidel, and themselves Christians and preachers of the gospel, while they draw all their characteristic dogmas from what it’s Author never said nor saw.”And now I will tell you something a little bit funny.I was going to share what Gandhi said in 1926, but I decided that I first needed to verify that Gandhi actually said it, so I went looking for where he said it and to whom he was talking.2 The item at the top of my Google search opened with the statement, “How many times have you come across this quote attributed to Mahatma Gandhi? ‘I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.’ We need to stop using this quote.”The article went on to say, “In the first place, Gandhi was hardly an authority on Jesus. When he says, ‘I like your Christ’ he is referring to a Jesus of his own making, a Jesus plucked haphazardly from the pages of Scripture, a Jeffersonian kind of Jesus…”When this guy really wanted to disparage Gandhi, he compared him to Thomas Jefferson.I guess some things never change.(But I’m still not bitter, Stuart, I promise. I hope you are doing well.)Roy H. WilliamsNOTE FROM INDY – This is the fifth week in a row that the wizard hasn’t written much about advertising. Don’t worry. I’ve been looking over his shoulder, snagging all the best advice he has given his clients this week, and I’m going to share it with you in the rabbit hole. Just click the image of Anne Lamott at the top of this page and you’re in.1 According to the Encyclopedia Britannica at www.britannica.com, “Christian Platonists… regarded Platonic philosophy as the best available instrument for understanding and defending the teachings of Scripture and church tradition.”2 The earliest report of Gandhi having said anything like that can be found in the Harvard Crimson newspaper of January 11, 1927.Sean Castrina has launched more than 20 companies over the past two decades and most of them have been successful. He says there are 8 unbreakable rules that entrepreneurs must follow if they want to succeed. Do you want to succeed? Learn the 8 rules! Right here. Right now. MondayMorningRadio.com
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Sep 12, 2022 • 7min

Freedom and Responsibility

My friend is forever shouting about his Freedom. It is the only song he sings.Freedom is a good thing, but our love of freedom is why family sizes are shrinking. Children are a responsibility.Freedom and Responsibility are paired opposites, a duality. The more you have of one, the less you have of the other.I had written only those few words when I received a request from the American Small Business Institute to answer a question from Glenn in Calgary; he wanted me to predict the Top Five Qualities of an Advertising Consultant in 2023.I had the Freedom to answer however I wanted. I could be flip, funny, cute, self-serving, dismissive, scholarly, insulting, pedantic, or predictable. My Freedom was unrestrained. But I also had the Responsibility to give Glenn a list of five specific, attainable goals that would make him and his clients more successful.I told Glenn the Top Five Qualities for 2023 would be these:Ability to write good ads. I’ve never seen a business fail due to “reaching the wrong people.” Businesses fail because they say the wrong thing.Knowledge of how to differentiate a business from its category. You must make your client’s business distinctive and memorable.Honesty. You must be willing to accept responsibility for the failure of your ad campaign.Courage to say what needs to be said to the business owner. This is how you avoid campaigns that fail.Wisdom to know that good advertising will not fix a broken business. Choose your clients carefully, Glenn.Depression and Joy are another duality. The more you have of one, the less you have of the other.Pride – the inability to feel grateful – is what keeps us from feeling joy. The disembodied voice that tells us we need to be “proud, self-made men and women,” is the devil who robs us of our joy.Depression is unfocused anger. Joy is unfocused gratitude. The more you have of one, the less you have of the other.If you look for reasons to be angry, you will find them. If you look for reasons to be grateful, you will find them.Don’t be angry. Be grateful.Justice and Mercy are a third duality. And the tug-of-war between them is intense.The only hard choices in life are the choices between two good things.Justice and Mercy are both good things. When you encounter the tug-of-war between them, which one do you favor?Opportunity and Security, a fourth duality.When Opportunity increases, Security declines. This sounds like Risk and Reward, but it’s not. If Risk and Reward were a duality, increasing your risk would decrease your reward. But increased risk of failure increases potential reward. This makes Risk and Reward a synchronous potentiality contained entirely within the realm of Opportunity.Ultimately, it all comes down to Choices.Our plan is always to make good choices, not bad choices. But most choices are neither good nor bad in the moment we make them. They become good or bad in hindsight. They become good or bad due to consequences. The outcome is never entirely clear until after the show is over.We learn more from our failures than we learn from our successes. Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.You cannot judge a person’s experience by their age. You can judge it only by what they have experienced. A person can have 30 years of experience, or they can 1 year of experience 30 times.Which will you have? Will you choose to embrace risk and take your beatings when you fail and learn hard lessons and win great victories? Opportunity is a good thing.But then again, so is Security.Roy H. Williams
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Sep 5, 2022 • 5min

How I Met Indy Beagle

I was the new kid in a new town, ­getting ready to start the third grade.We had moved into a rented house beyond the outer perimeter of Skiatook, Oklahoma. There were no other houses within sight, so there were no neighbors to visit, no new friends to meet, nothing to do except walk in circles.School had not yet started. Our house – like most houses back then – had no air conditioning.The Oklahoma air was too hot, too dusty to breathe.That’s when Indy showed up and introduced himself.He said, “What are you doing?”“Walking in circles.”“Can I do it with you?“Sure.”I wasn’t surprised that Indy could talk, and I wasn’t surprised that he could walk into photographs and paintings and talk to the people in them. When he walked out of those images, he would tell me the most amazing stories.Indy suggested I should become a writer.The following summer, I was the new kid in another new town – Broken Arrow – but we had neighbors and a park and a house with air conditioning. Mrs. Fisher would read to the class for about 15 minutes each day while Indy slept beneath my desk. She read Charlotte’s Web and Way Down Cellar and then she told us to write a poem about anything we wanted.I wrote a poem about a dog.Everyone was impressed, even Mrs. Fisher.Pennie and I were 19 and had been married about a year when I launched “Daybreak,” a daily, prerecorded message of encouragement you could hear if you knew the right telephone number to call. You couldn’t leave a message because it was an “announce-only” machine that Pennie and I leased from the telephone company for $50 a month. I never told anyone my name or how they might be able to contact me. “Daybreak” was just the voice of a stranger on the telephone, talking to you as though he knew you. I woke before dawn each day and spent a couple of hours writing and recording a new 2-minute message and then I went to work.Fax machines had not yet been invented. The internet wasn’t even a fantasy.“Daybreak” grew to the point where Pennie and I had to add a roll-over line and lease a second answering machine from the telephone company because too many people were getting a busy signal when they called.One thousand different “Daybreak” messages were written and recorded in 1,000 days between 1977 and 1980.“Daybreak” cost us about $130 month which is a lot of money when you make $3.35 an hour before taxes.With 25% of our income going down those telephone lines each day, I got a second job monitoring an automated radio station in Tulsa once a week. I was given the shift that no one wanted. I went to work each Friday night at midnight and worked until 11AM on Saturday morning. Indy would always go with me to keep me company.I had been there for more than a year when the General Manager walked in one Saturday morning about 9AM with a few notes scribbled on the back of a napkin about “Amir’s Persian Imports,” a local place that sold Persian rugs. He asked me to write an ad for them, so I wrote a 60-second story that took listeners into the sky on a magic carpet ride.The ad performed well. Amir was impressed. My boss was impressed enough to offer me a full-time job.Indy just smiled and winked at me.Roy H. Williams
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Aug 29, 2022 • 3min

If I Had It All To Do Over Again…

You’ve heard it said, and might even have said it yourself, “Knowing what I know now, if I had it all to do over again, I would…”Let’s play a game. Let’s pretend that you, “have it all to do over again.” You can return to any day in your past to begin reliving your life differently, but you must do it without “knowing what you know now.” You will have a second chance at a different outcome, but you must return to that day with no memory of what you did, or how it turned out.Will you trade your current circumstances and relationships for the “new and different choices” a second you will probably make? Think about it. If you travel to a time before your child was born, that child is not likely to be born. Another child, perhaps, but not that one.In fact, the jobs you get, the friends you make, and where you live are likely to be different the second time around.“Having it all to do over again” might create a better future for you, or it might create a worse one.Are you ready for the surprising second half of this game?Here it is: all of this has already happened. The original you was given the opportunity to return to any specific day in your past and THIS is the day to which you chose to return.Everything that originally happened after this moment has been erased. Your second chance has now begun.Why did you choose to return to this day? What different decision did you hope you would make?Is it something that you can decide today, or is it a choice you will need to make a number of days from now?Are you here for a second chance to have a conversation that never happened? To schedule a medical check-up before it is too late, or to take some other action that you deeply wish you would have taken?The only thing we can know for sure is this:“With every decision we make, we pass a point of no return and wonder what might have been.”Go. Live your life. Quit second-guessing yourself.Remorse is not where you want to live.Roy H. WilliamsNOTE FROM INDY – Let’s spend a day together.The Wizard Academy reunion is October 15. You should come.
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Aug 22, 2022 • 4min

It Freaked Me Out a Little

I was writing about third gravitating bodies and I needed to know the year that Henri Poincaré wrote The Third Body Problem and won that huge cash prize from King Oscar II of Sweden.I typed “third gravitating bodies” into the Google search block. At the top of the results page was a featured snippet and something about it looked familiar. When I glanced at the source link, I saw that it was a Monday Morning Memo I had written recently.Evidently, Google thinks I know far more about third gravitating bodies than I actually do, because they seem to be under the mistaken impression that I am an expert in the field of theoretical physics, and I can assure you that I am not.But that’s not what freaked me out.When I clicked the source link, it took me to a Monday Morning Memo I wrote a few months ago. I had a clear memory of writing that memo, and for some strange reason I have a particularly clear memory of creating the image at the top of the page. I created that image by selecting three different magazine covers over which I overlaid an image of the Broadway cast of Hamilton.My memory of writing that memo and creating that artwork felt like it was only four or five weeks ago, but I knew that it was more likely four or five months.What freaked me out was when I looked at the date of that memo.I has been almost 6 years since I wrote it.I felt like Rip Van Winkle.I looked up at the door in the room where I was sitting, and waited for Rod Serling to step into that open doorframe. I could already hear his voice.“Consider if you will, the man who stared so deeply into the void of his computer, that when he looked up, he was 6 years older. There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area we call The Twilight Zone.”My friend and business partner Ray Seggern spent yesterday afternoon with me. Ray is old enough to have an adult daughter who has completed college and worked for companies like Luis Vuitton and Rolls Royce and who will soon be married. Ray is 9 years younger than me.Shortly after he arrived for our meeting, he said, “You know how time seems to pass more quickly as you get older?”I nodded, so he continued, “What’s the word for that? Everyone says that a year seems like a long time to a 5-year-old because it’s 20 percent of his lifetime, but that same year goes by 10 times faster for a 50-year old man because it’s only 2 percent of his lifetime. What’s the word for that?”Ray and I sat and thought and scratched our heads and looked at each other for a long while.Here’s why I’m writing to you today: What’s the word for that?If you know – or even if you just made up a good word for it and are willing to share ­– send the word to indy@wizardofads.comYour name will appear in the dictionary we are compiling.More about that in the rabbit hole.Indy says Aroo.Roy H. Williams
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Aug 15, 2022 • 5min

War And Peace

Before Gandhi, there was Tolstoy.When Leo Tolstoy was 54, he wrote a book about the ethical teachings1 of Jesus as revealed in the Sermon on the Mount. For the rest of his life, Tolstoy advocated the use of peaceful, non-violent forms of resistance in the struggle for social change.Gandhi – the person we associate with peaceful, non-violent resistance – was 12 years old when Tolstoy’s book was published.Martin Luther King – the man who popularized peaceful, non-violent resistance in America – would not be born for another 45 years.In 1854, during the Crimean War, a British light brigade was ordered to charge the cannons of the Russian Empire.A “light brigade” carried only light weapons, such as sabers and pistols.Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote about this famous headlong charge toward certain death:Half a league, half a league,Half a league onward,All in the valley of DeathRode the six hundred.“Forward, the Light Brigade!Charge for the guns!” he said.Into the valley of DeathRode the six hundred.“Forward, the Light Brigade!”Was there a man dismayed?Not though the soldier knewSomeone had blundered.Theirs not to make reply,Theirs not to reason why,Theirs but to do and die.Into the valley of DeathRode the six hundred.Cannon to right of them,Cannon to left of them,Cannon in front of themVolleyed and thundered;Stormed at with shot and shell,Boldly they rode and well,Into the jaws of Death,Into the mouth of hellRode the six hundred…Leo Tolstoy was a Russian artillery officer in that war and was forever changed by it.That war – the first modern war – led Tolstoy to the Sermon on the Mount and convinced him of the truth of Jesus’ words.“Blessed are the peacemakers… blessed are the meek… blessed are the merciful…”Tolstoy was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize 3 times, but each time he wrote to the committee and asked them to remove his name from consideration.When the public grew angry that Tolstoy never received the Nobel, he confessed that he had privately rejected it and wrote,“First, it has saved me the predicament of managing so much money, because such money, in my opinion, only brings evil. Secondly, I felt very honored to receive such sympathy from people I have not even met.”Tolstoy was loved by everyone except religious leaders.Remember that book he wrote in 1882 about the ethical teachings of Jesus? It did not appear in Russia for 24 years because it was blocked by the Orthodox Church, the leaders of the Christian faith in Russia. They were worried that Tolstoy might have been talking about them when he wrote,“I sit on a man’s back, choking him and making him carry me, and yet assure myself and others that I am very sorry for him and wish to ease his lot by all possible means – except by getting off his back.”The religious leaders became angry again when Tolstoy wrote,“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”Mark Twain, a contemporary of Tolstoy, may well have been making a joke about religious leaders in America when he wrote,“By trying, we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man’s, I mean.”Tolstoy saw Jesus and his teachings as gold surrounded by the mud of religiosity. He said,“Truth, like gold, is to be obtained not by its growth, but by washing away from it all that is not gold.”This reminds me of Michelangelo’s description of how he carved an angel from a block of marble:“I just removed everything that was not angel.”I will leave you now,to consider all that you have been told,and wash the mud from the gold,and remove everythingthat is not angel.Roy H. Williams1 Tolstoy’s A Confession, (1882) was originally titled, An Introduction to a Criticism of Dogmatic Theology.NOTE: Dogmatic Theology has nothing to do with dogs. – Indy Beagle

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