When to Write It, and When Not.

If relationships matter to you at all, don’t put your negative emotions in writing.

Spoken words land softly on their feet like a cat that has fallen from a tree. But written words often land with a thud, and the crack of a fractured relationship.

My son Jacob taught me an African proverb last week,

“The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.”

That proverb reminded me to warn you,

“Never put a negative emotion in writing.”

There are few things as reckless and destructive as a text, an email, or a letter in which you “clear the air” by venting your anger, your fear, your frustration, your disappointment, or your sadness.

If you cannot speak face-to-face with the person that you feel needs to hear what you have to say, then at least find a way to speak voice-to-voice.

Never put a negative emotion in writing.

I speak recklessly, but I write carefully. Every time I have put a negative emotion in writing, I have regretted it.

Introverts prefer to communicate in writing. As a member of that 49 percent of our population, I say,

“I understand your preference for writing instead of talking. You are good at writing. This is why it is especially important for you to realize that your negative, written words hit harder, hurt more deeply, and cause more widespread destruction than the words of your extraverted friends. So please, never put a negative emotion in writing. But the opposite is also true: your written words of recognition, praise, and encouragement will raise the spirits, strengthen the resolve, and give new energy to every person on whom you shine that happy light.”

During the dark times, the tree will remember that light.

And smile.

Are you ready for a surprise? The same applies to advertising.

If your relationship with prospective customers matters to you, don’t put negative emotions into your ads.

You ask, “But don’t I at least need to describe the pain of the problem before I tell them about the solution?”

No, because if you do, your name and your brand will unconsciously become associated with pain and problems. People will remember you when they need what you sell, but they will feel better about someone else. And this “someone else” they feel better about will probably make the sale.

If you want to be that “someone else,” learn to write ads that make people feel good about themselves, their future, and you.

I’ve been saying it for 35 years:

“Win the heart and the mind will follow. The mind will always find logic to justify what the heart has already decided.”

Did you know that I think about you several times each week? As I sit in the light of my computer screen at 2:30 each morning, I ponder the price you pay to read what I write to you. Money can be replaced but time cannot, so each minute you spend with me is spent forever. It can never be replaced. This is why I try to give you things that will last; things you can take with you and use again and again.

I cannot see your face but I feel your presence and I want the best for you, just as you want the best for all the people that your life touches.

Shine on, bright friend, shine on. All the trees around you will remember.

Roy H. Williams