Marriage and Intimacy Tips for Christian Couples: Secrets of Happily Ever After

You deserve a fulfilling sex life without settling or compromising. The FIRE method provides a framework for creating a deeply connected and satisfying intimate relationship that works for both partners.• Higher desire partners often feel they must settle in their marriages, leading to resentment and diminished intimacy• Emotional connection alone doesn't guarantee a satisfying sex life – sexual dynamics require specific attention• F – Face your beliefs about sex that were planted in your "garden" growing up• I – Initiate honest conversations about desires, boundaries, and preferences• R – Rewrite the rules together as a couple, free from cultural expectations and shame• E – Engage consistently through different life stages, creating rituals and "bridges to desire"• Sexuality should be approached playfully, like recess for adults• Regular "Sex Talk Tuesdays" can help normalize ongoing conversations about intimacyFor additional resources, download the FIRE worksheet at monicatanner.com/fire or schedule a complimentary 30-minute relationship breakthrough session at monicatanner.com/call.Send us a text

True intimacy requires the freedom to be ourselves in marriage. We explore what it means to create space where both partners feel safe, seen, respected, and supported throughout all seasons of life together.• Creating emotional freedom by feeling safe to make mistakes, have opinions, and share feelings without judgment• Physical freedom in maintaining personal friendships, self-care, and autonomy within partnership• Sexual freedom to communicate desires, boundaries, and curiosities without shame• Spiritual freedom to explore faith and values both individually and as a couple• Using the powerful question "Tell me more about that" to foster understanding and connection• Practicing grace over judgment and celebrating each other's individuality• Giving each other permission to evolve, grow, and make mistakesJoin us for a special workshop on July 16th on "How to Stop Compromising to Get More of What You Want in Your Relationship." Sign up at www.monicatanner.com/stopcompromising to attend live or receive the recording.Send us a text

We often avoid difficult conversations, but addressing conflicts directly leads to stronger relationships rather than allowing resentment to build and potentially emerge "sideways." Understanding that all relationships cycle through harmony, disharmony, and repair helps us recognize conflicts as opportunities for growth.• Lead with curiosity, not accusation: examine your triggers, consider others' intentions, and share your experience without blame• Say what you mean without being mean: describe situations objectively, own your interpretations, and express feelings clearly• Listen to understand the other person's reality: open your heart to their experience instead of listening defensively• The repair process is where trust forms and relationships become stronger and more resilient• Having difficult conversations builds relationship "muscles" through temporary vulnerability that leads to greater strengthIf you need help navigating difficult conversations, book a complimentary call with me at monicatanner.com/callSend us a text

Money conversations don't have to lead to arguments—they can actually strengthen relationships when approached with the right communication tools and mindset. We explore three essential skills for talking about finances with your spouse that build connection instead of conflict.• Understanding each other's money personalities and formative experiences around finances• Learning to express your needs without blame or judgment• Scheduling regular, low-pressure "money huddles" to stay on the same page• Keeping financial discussions light and celebrating small wins together• Remembering you're on the same team when financial differences arise• Creating communication strategies that honor both partners' financial perspectives• Walking or driving side-by-side can make difficult money conversations easierI'm still offering my summer special for engaged and newlywed couples: three premarital or newly post-marital coaching sessions for the price of one. Email me at moni@monicatanner.com or set up a call at monicatanner.com/call. Also, watch for my upcoming book "Bad Marriage Advice" – get on the mailing list at www.badmarriageadvice.com for updates on when it will be available.Send us a text

I tackle the challenging reality of what to do when one partner wants to work on the relationship while the other resists, providing a clear three-step approach based on my experience with couples in this situation.• Despite what some experts claim, you cannot completely transform your marriage alone—both partners must participate• The first step is to directly invite your partner to therapy or coaching, being persistent but understanding about their concerns• Step two involves creating "productive discomfort" by withdrawing comforts you typically provide• The final step may require temporary separation to demonstrate how serious you are about improving the relationship• When both partners engage in the work, transformative results are possible that benefit not just the couple but future generations• Breaking generational patterns requires courage to stand up with loving power rather than settling for mediocrityIf you need help with this process, please reach out for a complimentary call at monicatanner.com/call. And for engaged or newlywed couples, I'm offering a special summer promotion—three RLT sessions for the price of one to help establish a strong foundation for your marriage.Send us a text

After an incredibly busy May filled with family celebrations including our 23rd wedding anniversary, my son's wedding, my daughter's high school graduation, and a week-long houseboat trip to Lake Powell, I'm reflecting on valuable relationship lessons that emerged during this special time.• Shared a powerful relationship skill called the "I notice" technique that creates open communication without triggering defensiveness• Explained how to properly use this approach by describing only what a security camera would see, not interpretations or judgments• Reflected on early marriage challenges and how different schedules and communication styles created difficulties• Advocated for premarital or newlywed counseling even when relationships seem perfect• Discussed the benefits of establishing a relationship with a therapist before problems arise• Offered insight into how Relational Life Therapy helps identify relationship patterns and triggering mechanisms• Emphasized the importance of learning repair techniques and effective communication skills earlyFor a limited time, I'm offering engaged and newlywed couples a special package of three coaching sessions for the price of one. This can be purchased as a gift for couples you know or for your own relationship. Visit monicatanner.com and click on "work with me" to schedule a consultation, or email moni@monicatanner.com for more information.Send us a text

Dr. Nicole Villegas, occupational therapist and founder of the Sensory Conscious Institute, explores how understanding nervous systems and sensory patterns helps build relationships rooted in safety, connection, and clarity.• Beyond the five senses: interoception (internal feelings), vestibular (movement through space), and proprioception (body position awareness)• Creating collaborative solutions versus compromises for different sensory preferences• Using the Three C's: curiosity, compassion and consent in communication• How unaddressed sensory needs lead to seemingly disproportionate reactions later• The AHA method for regulation: Acknowledge, Honor, and take Action toward safety• Signs your nervous system is dysregulated: racing heart, difficulty focusing, feeling "buzzy"• Walking and talking as an effective strategy for difficult conversations• Recognizing when your partner is overwhelmed through body language cues• Using "I noticed..." statements instead of judgment when discussing sensory responses• Learning to appreciate how sensory awareness creates opportunities for deeper connectionVisit drnicoleotd on Instagram or sensoryconcious.com to learn more about sensory practices and sign up for Dr. Nicole's newsletter "Refine" for small changes that make big differences.Send us a text

When life gets chaotic, maintaining your sanity and your marriage requires intentional practices and clear communication. This episode shares my five-step approach to handling busy seasons with grace while keeping my relationship strong and cooperative.• Start each day with focused prayer to identify what truly matters that day• Ask for help confidently, remembering that it allows others the opportunity to serve• Let your spouse know exactly how they can support you during busy times• Make specific requests rather than general complaints about lack of help• Keep "micro-disappointments" from becoming relationship-defining stories• Create detailed lists and delegate responsibilities to lighten your load• Practice saying "no" to protect your energy and relationships• Express appreciation for all help received and prioritize daily connection• Maintain relationship through daily check-ins, weekly date nights, and annual trips• Remember that teamwork in chaos comes from intentional communicationKeep prioritizing each other in the chaos, and I'll see you next week, same time, same place. And until then, happy marriaging.Send us a text

Tony and Elisa DiLorenzo of One Extraordinary Marriage discuss how busy couples can rekindle intimacy and connection through intentional time together. They reveal the biggest roadblocks to intimacy are lack of meaningful conversation and diminished sexual connection, with practical solutions for couples who feel like roommates.• The "we'll make time when..." trap leads many couples to disconnect by the time life finally slows down• Couples who delay nurturing their relationship often reach empty nester stage feeling like strangers• A time audit usually reveals at least 30 minutes daily that could be redirected to relationship building• Start with just 15 minutes of connection through card games, comedy clips, or simple physical touch• Difficult conversations may require a third-party facilitator to create safe space for both partners• Internal forgiveness work is essential for moving past resentment without necessarily verbalizing it• Children have free will—their choices aren't always a reflection of parenting approaches• It's never too late to transform your relationship, as demonstrated by couples married 30+ years• More relationship resources exist now than ever before, making help accessible to all couplesVisit IntimacyMastery.com to take an assessment of your relationship and get a roadmap for improving connection over 30, 60, and 90 days.Send us a text

We celebrate a double milestone as my son gets married on our 23rd wedding anniversary. This emotional weekend brings together two generations of love stories while I reflect on what makes a marriage work for over two decades.• Cooking for 125 wedding guests from a small Airbnb with crockpots scattered throughout every room• The importance of morning walks for communication and connection in marriage• Jewish wedding traditions including the chuppah and breaking glass to symbolize the couple's new journey• The significance of being intentional about building a good relationship with my new daughter-in-law• How apologizing quickly and choosing each other daily strengthens marriage over decades• The value of community support and having a "village" to celebrate important life transitionsGet on the waiting list for my upcoming book "Bad Marriage Advice" at www.badmarriageadvice.com and receive a free gift of 300+ date night ideas for every season, budget, and interest.Send us a text