Marriage and Intimacy Tips for Christian Couples: Secrets of Happily Ever After

Trevor Hanson shares powerful insights about how couples unknowingly trigger wounded parts in each other and explains how healing these attachment wounds transforms relationships. Through understanding negative cycles and inner child work, we discover how one person can significantly change relationship dynamics by healing their own insecurities.• Couples get trapped in negative cycles when they trigger each other's core insecurities• The "right" partner will hurt you in ways that allow you to heal your deepest wounds• Communication skills are useless when we're too triggered to access them• Healing your insecurities allows you to approach relationship challenges differently• One person can significantly change relationship dynamics by changing themselves• Recognizing when your prefrontal cortex has gone offline is key to breaking patterns• Inner child work involves recognizing, validating, truth-telling, and giving yourself what you need• Explaining your experience to your partner (when not triggered) builds understanding• Through healing yourself, you increase your partner's capacity to support your healing• Practice inner child work when calm before attempting it during triggering momentsFind Trevor on Instagram @theartofhealingbytrevor or search Trevor Hanson. Access his free training on the four reasons people stay stuck despite doing all the "right things."Send us a text

Teaching kids about healthy sexuality requires a thoughtful approach that prepares them for marriage, much like teaching them to drive requires instruction before handing over the keys.• The DRIVE framework provides a comprehensive approach to sex education within families• D for Dialogue: Keep conversations open, ongoing, and age-appropriate• R for Respect: Teach children to view their bodies and sexuality as sacred• I for Instruction: Provide education that matches developmental stages• V for Values: Ground all conversations in family values about marriage and commitment• E for Expectation: Build positive anticipation for intimacy within marriage• Common myths about sex education can undermine effective teaching• Fear-based messaging creates the problematic "no-no-no, go-go-go" dynamic• Children need consistent, positive messaging about sexuality as God's gift for marriage• Parents should model appropriate affection and open communicationIf you have questions or need additional resources to talk to your children about sex and sexuality, please email me at moni@monicatanner.com, and check out my upcoming book "Bad Marriage Advice."Send us a text

Hanna Kok shares her expertise on the surprising link between forgiveness and physical health, revealing why holding onto grudges causes hormonal imbalances and weakens the immune system. We explore the scientific evidence behind this connection and discuss a practical method for making forgiveness easier.• When we hold grudges, our muscles tighten, restricting blood flow and nutrient delivery throughout the body• Brain function decreases dramatically during conflict—the prefrontal cortex (responsible for wisdom and problem-solving) can switch off up to 85%• Stress emotions attach to cell receptors, triggering responses that put cells in overdrive and eventually lead to health problems• Different organs are sensitive to specific emotions—the liver responds to anger, lungs to grief, and the gut to feelings of abuse• Unforgiveness reduces energy available for immune function, making us more susceptible to illness• The forgiveness method includes identifying what triggered you, recognizing what it reveals about your own healing needs, and seeing the situation as an opportunity for growth• Practical techniques for releasing unforgiveness include journaling, mirror work, and meditationFor more information on improving health through forgiveness, download Hannah's app at hannahcook.com or visit ithrive.zoneSend us a text

You deserve a fulfilling sex life without settling or compromising. The FIRE method provides a framework for creating a deeply connected and satisfying intimate relationship that works for both partners.• Higher desire partners often feel they must settle in their marriages, leading to resentment and diminished intimacy• Emotional connection alone doesn't guarantee a satisfying sex life – sexual dynamics require specific attention• F – Face your beliefs about sex that were planted in your "garden" growing up• I – Initiate honest conversations about desires, boundaries, and preferences• R – Rewrite the rules together as a couple, free from cultural expectations and shame• E – Engage consistently through different life stages, creating rituals and "bridges to desire"• Sexuality should be approached playfully, like recess for adults• Regular "Sex Talk Tuesdays" can help normalize ongoing conversations about intimacyFor additional resources, download the FIRE worksheet at monicatanner.com/fire or schedule a complimentary 30-minute relationship breakthrough session at monicatanner.com/call.Send us a text

True intimacy requires the freedom to be ourselves in marriage. We explore what it means to create space where both partners feel safe, seen, respected, and supported throughout all seasons of life together.• Creating emotional freedom by feeling safe to make mistakes, have opinions, and share feelings without judgment• Physical freedom in maintaining personal friendships, self-care, and autonomy within partnership• Sexual freedom to communicate desires, boundaries, and curiosities without shame• Spiritual freedom to explore faith and values both individually and as a couple• Using the powerful question "Tell me more about that" to foster understanding and connection• Practicing grace over judgment and celebrating each other's individuality• Giving each other permission to evolve, grow, and make mistakesJoin us for a special workshop on July 16th on "How to Stop Compromising to Get More of What You Want in Your Relationship." Sign up at www.monicatanner.com/stopcompromising to attend live or receive the recording.Send us a text

We often avoid difficult conversations, but addressing conflicts directly leads to stronger relationships rather than allowing resentment to build and potentially emerge "sideways." Understanding that all relationships cycle through harmony, disharmony, and repair helps us recognize conflicts as opportunities for growth.• Lead with curiosity, not accusation: examine your triggers, consider others' intentions, and share your experience without blame• Say what you mean without being mean: describe situations objectively, own your interpretations, and express feelings clearly• Listen to understand the other person's reality: open your heart to their experience instead of listening defensively• The repair process is where trust forms and relationships become stronger and more resilient• Having difficult conversations builds relationship "muscles" through temporary vulnerability that leads to greater strengthIf you need help navigating difficult conversations, book a complimentary call with me at monicatanner.com/callSend us a text

Money conversations don't have to lead to arguments—they can actually strengthen relationships when approached with the right communication tools and mindset. We explore three essential skills for talking about finances with your spouse that build connection instead of conflict.• Understanding each other's money personalities and formative experiences around finances• Learning to express your needs without blame or judgment• Scheduling regular, low-pressure "money huddles" to stay on the same page• Keeping financial discussions light and celebrating small wins together• Remembering you're on the same team when financial differences arise• Creating communication strategies that honor both partners' financial perspectives• Walking or driving side-by-side can make difficult money conversations easierI'm still offering my summer special for engaged and newlywed couples: three premarital or newly post-marital coaching sessions for the price of one. Email me at moni@monicatanner.com or set up a call at monicatanner.com/call. Also, watch for my upcoming book "Bad Marriage Advice" – get on the mailing list at www.badmarriageadvice.com for updates on when it will be available.Send us a text

I tackle the challenging reality of what to do when one partner wants to work on the relationship while the other resists, providing a clear three-step approach based on my experience with couples in this situation.• Despite what some experts claim, you cannot completely transform your marriage alone—both partners must participate• The first step is to directly invite your partner to therapy or coaching, being persistent but understanding about their concerns• Step two involves creating "productive discomfort" by withdrawing comforts you typically provide• The final step may require temporary separation to demonstrate how serious you are about improving the relationship• When both partners engage in the work, transformative results are possible that benefit not just the couple but future generations• Breaking generational patterns requires courage to stand up with loving power rather than settling for mediocrityIf you need help with this process, please reach out for a complimentary call at monicatanner.com/call. And for engaged or newlywed couples, I'm offering a special summer promotion—three RLT sessions for the price of one to help establish a strong foundation for your marriage.Send us a text

After an incredibly busy May filled with family celebrations including our 23rd wedding anniversary, my son's wedding, my daughter's high school graduation, and a week-long houseboat trip to Lake Powell, I'm reflecting on valuable relationship lessons that emerged during this special time.• Shared a powerful relationship skill called the "I notice" technique that creates open communication without triggering defensiveness• Explained how to properly use this approach by describing only what a security camera would see, not interpretations or judgments• Reflected on early marriage challenges and how different schedules and communication styles created difficulties• Advocated for premarital or newlywed counseling even when relationships seem perfect• Discussed the benefits of establishing a relationship with a therapist before problems arise• Offered insight into how Relational Life Therapy helps identify relationship patterns and triggering mechanisms• Emphasized the importance of learning repair techniques and effective communication skills earlyFor a limited time, I'm offering engaged and newlywed couples a special package of three coaching sessions for the price of one. This can be purchased as a gift for couples you know or for your own relationship. Visit monicatanner.com and click on "work with me" to schedule a consultation, or email moni@monicatanner.com for more information.Send us a text

Dr. Nicole Villegas, occupational therapist and founder of the Sensory Conscious Institute, explores how understanding nervous systems and sensory patterns helps build relationships rooted in safety, connection, and clarity.• Beyond the five senses: interoception (internal feelings), vestibular (movement through space), and proprioception (body position awareness)• Creating collaborative solutions versus compromises for different sensory preferences• Using the Three C's: curiosity, compassion and consent in communication• How unaddressed sensory needs lead to seemingly disproportionate reactions later• The AHA method for regulation: Acknowledge, Honor, and take Action toward safety• Signs your nervous system is dysregulated: racing heart, difficulty focusing, feeling "buzzy"• Walking and talking as an effective strategy for difficult conversations• Recognizing when your partner is overwhelmed through body language cues• Using "I noticed..." statements instead of judgment when discussing sensory responses• Learning to appreciate how sensory awareness creates opportunities for deeper connectionVisit drnicoleotd on Instagram or sensoryconcious.com to learn more about sensory practices and sign up for Dr. Nicole's newsletter "Refine" for small changes that make big differences.Send us a text