Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

A question from Maria…My 6yo loves his ipad and tv, like I'm sure they all do. I don't allow him to play non-stop and he's generally ok with boundaries. My issue is he's always asking. ALWAYS. I'm forever saying no, or later, or ok for half an hour, or after you do this or that. I'm the bad guy when he really wants to and I'd rather he do something more constructive. I'd like to put the power in his hands, instead of mine, but how. I thought about giving him a weekly limit and letting him go free, when his limit is met, no more screens. But how, he's 6 and doesn't really get time management. Plus, school days vs weekends (and now summer) are different. Right now he doesn't have homework, but when he does, screens should be very limited (I'd imagine) and I don't want to break a habit when that starts. On the weekends, in the morning, he gets to play/watch until dad and I get up and make breakfast. Than maybe more later, but it depends on what we're doing. Ugh this is only going to get worse when he gets older. I'd like to set some limits he can follow on his own, so I'm not the dictator. One that won't allow him to be on it for hours. His attitude is awful if he's been playing a long time, shoot that happens to me too!   I am not an expert on screen time – we are first generation of parents parenting kids with crazy access to screens, also we are the first parents to ALSO have this access. We are the models Time on the screens is time not connecting with other human beings in our life Root of the problem is disconnection No perfect answer No screens Vs No Limits Lots of room in the middle for skill development, self regulation practice, time management exploration Have a conversation about what you are noticing and invite him to speak into his experience Look at the week and the days – then decide what could work for you, what he would like, whiddle it down to a place where you are both satisfied Blog posts: Earning Privileges Earning Privileges, Revisited No magic number of miutes Comes down to provide an opportunity for your six year old to be a part of the problem solving process We must give them experience for practicing negotiating, offer/counter offer Notice rigidity Showing up with your plan in mind will not be helpful Go into the conversation to deeply listen and be open minded Use visuals so that he knows when screen time is Give opportunities to be autonomous Try the solution for a week and revisit – tweak if necessary Our children are full of creative ideas When we are a part of the problem solving, we are more likely to follow through with the solution Use daily special time to connect and continue to strengthen relationship When we strengthen relationship with our kids we are increasing our kids sense of belonging and significance When you notice things are challenging, turn your lens towards the relationship Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! My guest today is Sarah Remmer, a registered dietitian and pediatric nutrition expert. She blogs at Stork to Fork, sharing ideas, advice, and easy recipes for real parents who want their kids to grow into healthy relationships with food. Let’s jump right into this topic with Sarah!What you’ll hear in this episode: Sarah is the mother of three young kids, so she knows the struggle! In her client work, Sarah noticed that the common denominator was the way they were raised in dysfunctional relationships with food. She rebranded and turned her specialty to helping parents raise kids with healthy habits and positive, functional relationships with food for life. Her practice has been thriving, as she is now recognized as a top pediatric nutritionist. Sarah discusses the biggest challenges in feeding kids; if you’re a parent, then you’ve experienced one or more of these! How a recent blog post by Sarah focuses on the “role reversal” that takes place between parents and kids at mealtimes Why kids should NOT stick exclusively with their favorite snacks, like yogurt or bananas Boundaries are important and help create structure. Sarah advises NO short order cooking, NO special meals, and NO snacking after meals. Desserts are tricky! Why you should NOT require “3 more bites of broccoli” before dessert! Why kids are naturally drawn to energy-rich foods like sweets and carbs Eating a wide variety of foods as a toddler will broaden your child’s palate! Ask your child, “How can I make this food yummier for you?” Bad habits CAN be changed! How to involve kids in meals and meal planning Sometimes, kids are truly NOT hungry! Sarah explains your “long-term feeding lens” vs. the short term. What does “joyful courage” mean to you? “Having the courage to start fresh. Forgive yourself for unhealthy habits. Be kind and end mealtime power struggles. Connect with Sarah:www.sarahremmer.comFacebook Twitter Follow Sarah on the Yummy Mummy Club site! The Super Healthy Kids Blog Feeding Kids: How Parents and Kids Often Have Their Roles Mixed Up (and how to fix it)  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Megan Barella loves to help parents unlock their parenting powerthrough her classes and coaching programs. As a Certified PositiveDiscipline Parent Educator, she brings a holistic approach to helppeople live and parent in connection with their highest selves."The Getting to Gold Project" is the program Megan is developingfor parents who are trauma survivors. Megan loves to cook, dance,do art projects, and spend time in the woods with her 7 year oldson in the Portland, OR area. Highlights from the conversation:-      The stress response systemtakes over-   Through awareness we can bring what ishappening internally into the open-      Parenting is incredible,courageous work-      Dan Siegel, Parenting From the Inside Out-      We want our kids tothrive!-      BeckyBailey of Conscious Discipline – “Awareness is the first agentof positive change”-      Be a gentle observer –awareness + self compassion ((you tubevideo))-      Hand over Heart-      Mistakes are opportunities tolearn-      Power of Repair-      Showing up the best we canwith the tools we have-      Our mistakes are notus!! Our patterns are what we have taken on to survive…-      Narrative therapy-      “I am not defined by mymistakes”-      Our body reads stress ASfear-      The power of our positiveintentJoin the Parenting for the Next Generation community at https://www.facebook.com/groups/ParentingfortheNextGeneration/ And follow Megan at:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ParentingForTheNextGenerationPinterest: https://uk.pinterest.com/MamaMegan1/Instagram: @mama_meganTwitter: @MamaMeganBlog Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Raffi Cavoukian is well known for the music he makes for young children... Many parents today were brought up with that music and are now sharing it with their kids. I spent many a day in the car singing Baaaaaaby Baluuuuuga to my littles and am so completely THRILLED to have the chance to talk to him on this podcast!!It was so much fun getting to know Raffi! He candidly shares his story of singing folk music to adults, to sharing songs with children - learn more about him by clicking here. He talks about the deep respect he has for young people, and the fun he has when he gets to entertain them.Raffi is a social activist, and shares about the Center For Child Honouring he founded near his home on Salt Springs Island. The mission of the centers invites people to "be a part of the global movement that views honouring children as the best way to create sustainable, peacemaking societies."And of course, we talk about some of my favorite songs!I am so grateful he took the time to talk to me.Resources mentioned on the show:Center for Child Honouring PDF of the Child Honouring Covenant and Principles FREE download of Take A Breath - a song about self regulationYou can find and follow Raffi on his website l facebook l twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! Today’s guest is Ryan Hamilton, one of the co-founders of the “Life of Dad,” a social media network for dads. He is changing how dads are represented in the parenting arena and is helping moms be more effective at sharing parenting tools and tips with their male partners. Let’s jump into conversation with Ryan!What you’ll hear in this episode: Ryan has been a computer geek/tech guy all of his life; he now sees his son following in his footsteps in those interests. Ryan works full-time in the advertising industry, but runs his business on the sides for dads. Ryan shares how “Life of Dad” evolved from a heart-wrenching personal story of one of the co-founders. The purpose of “Life of Dad” is to enable a father to share his story via social media. Ryan became involved in the endeavor during a tumultuous time in his life, when he was going through a divorce, job loss, financial collapse, and depression. Ryan began blogging about the darker side of parenting. Ryan discusses how trends and parental role expectations have shifted as dads have pushed for change. Many new resources and dad communities are making change and allowing dads to have a voice. Co-parenting has changed in today’s culture of divorce; Ryan shares how he and his ex-wife make it work for them. Ryan decided to make the journey to veganism about two years ago, when he was depressed and suicidal. He began with being vegetarian, but then transitioned on to veganism. The “cleaning up” of his diet branched out to affect all other areas of his life. Ryan’s advice to other dads is to stay in touch, never feel alone, and reach out to your peer groups. Check out the resources below! ::::::::::Resources:Life of Dad - Website I Twitter I Facebook I IG I You TubeRyan E. Hamilton - Twitter I FacebookDad 2.0 SummitNational At Home Dad NetworkCity Dads GroupDad Bloggers on Facebook Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I am so excited to offer a monthly podcast episode that is dedicated to answering questions from the community. Today, I speak about situations that were shared by April and Sarah, both members of the Live and Love with Joyful Courage Facebook Community... From April:My 7 year old is the youngest of three girls. She gets plenty of attention but seems to constantly be begging for more. What is a healthy amount of attention and how I do I limit it? She constantly interrupts her dad and I whenever we are talking to her other sisters. It's as if she can't handle them getting any attention. I don't know how to phrase a question. She is the youngest child who has gotten spoiled with attention because she was the only one home with me while the other girls were at school. Now she expects all the attention all the time and it isn't fun for anyone.From Sarah:Ok, here is a hot topic at our house! How can I help my kids get along (or many how can I help my son deal with jealousy)? I have an almost 8 yo son who is much more introverted and independent and a 5 yo daughter who is a bubbly, outgoing people person. She gets lots more attention from people in general just because she is outgoing and comfortable talking to people. But my son is also in school all day and she is not yet so we are having some struggles with jealousy (being purposefully mean to his sis) and defiance. It will still be one more year before she is in school all day like he is. I give him 1-1 time but there just aren't enough hours in the day to give him the same amount of time.I have a feeling that their stories, their challenges will resonate with the whole community. Please listen in and let me know what you think!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome! Today’s guest is Nicole Schwarz, who wrote an article recently that caught my attention. Her blog is www.imperfectfamilies.com, and the article was about Helping Kids Deal with Negative Self-Talk. Nicole is the mother of three daughters, and is a parent coach with a license in family therapy. She now devotes her work to online coaching and writing her blog. She loves working with families on positive, respectful parenting techniques.What you’ll hear in this episode: The two things in kids’ lives that bring the most negative self-doubt How two kids can be doing the same thing, but one will have negative self-doubt and one will be fine How you may think you are supporting your kids in their negative self-doubt, but you may be doing THREE KEY THINGS wrong! All parents face the question of how much to push them and how much to support them. Nicole has tips to help you connect with your kids in moments of frustration; the key is to find ways to connect with them.As a parent, you have opportunities to help your kids through their negative self-doubt; the key is to help them with important life skills.Links and Resources:Connect with Nicole: Website | Facebook | TwitterThe blog post that started it all... How to Respond to Your Child's Negative Self Talk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dina Emser is on the podcast today digging into what encouragement is really all about… Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I am so so excited to share this conversation with listeners!! Dr. Laura Markham is one of the leading voices in the parenting arena and full of easy to digest tips and tools for parents with kids of all ages! I was beyond honored when she agreed to come on my show...Listen in as we talk all about how to create space for our kids to get along, explore what keeps kids from connecting, and dig into how one on one time with each of our kids actually helps the sibling bond grow.Dr. Laura's bio from her website:Dr. Laura Markham trained as a Clinical Psychologist, earning her PhD from Columbia University. But she's also a mom, so she translates proven science into the practical solutions you need for the family life you want.The founding editor of AhaParenting.com, Dr. Laura also serves as a parenting expert for Mothering.com, Psychology Today, The Natural Parent Magazine, Pregnancy.org, Girlie Girl Army, SheKnows.com, and several other websites. She makes frequent TV and radio appearances and has been interviewed for hundreds of articles by publications as diverse as The Wall Street Journal, Real Simple, Newsday, Men's Health, Redbook and Parents Magazine.Dr. Laura's relationship-based parenting model has helped thousands of families across the U.S. and Canada find compassionate, common-sense solutions to everything from separation anxiety and sleep problems to sass talk and cell phones. She lives in Brooklyn, New York, with her husband and two terrific kids -- now 20 and 24! Resources mentioned:Peaceful Parents, Happy KidsPeaceful Parents, Happy SiblingsJohn Gottman's work with couples and marriageWhere to find/follow Dr. Laura's work:www.ahaparenting.comFacebookTwitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I am so excited to have Margit Crane on the podcast today! She is fun and hopeful and full of really helpful information for ADD/ADHD children and the grown ups who love and work with them.From Margit's bio:Confused and frustrated, people are drawn to Margit’s bright-eyed optimism, her natural communication style, and her no-nonsense, real-world solutions. They fall in love with her humor and compassion, realizing that she is their strongest advocate and biggest fan. Clients feel heard and understood, and they trust her to support each of them, together as a family and, separately, as individuals. She blends an uncanny and authentic understanding of children and teens with adult wisdom and experience, and a long career as a trailblazer in the field of Attention Deficit Disorder, school success, and child-parent dynamics.Margit and I spend time discussion what ADD/ADHD is and what it isn't, when to consider if our child is a ADD/ADHD, and what the steps are to connect and hold space for these special kids. Resources mentioned:Getting Schooled - a free ebook from Margit that helps parents navigate their child's school experiencewww.wrightslaw.com - articles, legal resources. supportHow to find and follow Margit:http://margitcrane.com/Facebook - Gifted with ADDTwitter - BrilliantADHDPinterest - Gifted with ADD Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices