Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Join me this week during this solo episode as we play with the concept of flexibility while parenting through the teen years. Where are you finding flexibility? How might flexibility serve your relationhip with your teen? What is getting in the way of flexibility? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Ed Center, and today we’re talking about how power shows up while parenting teens.  Ed kicks off our conversation sharing how his childhood and parenting experience led him to finding Positive Discipline, and how & where cultural wisdom and cultural trauma affect our parenting. Ed and I talk about how hard it is to pause and access our Positive Discipline tools in the moment when you are pissed, and why those moments & gaps are so important. Ed brings it back to Alfred Adler’s belonging & significance, shares a reminder that teens are craving additional autonomy, power, & significance, and explains that negative attention is significance, too. We talk about Ed’s blog post & metaphor, “Your attention is the sun,” and we agree on the effectiveness of the “when, then, walk” strategy. Ed and I dig into what can stop positive parenting strategies from working and what threatens our connection with our kids (spoiler: screens aren’t helping!).Takeaways from the show Passing on cultural wisdom Not passing on cultural trauma  How do we access our Positive Discipline strategies when we are pissed off!?  Your kids can build new skills when they are feeling secure in their belonging & significance  Teens who are secure in their belonging with you start seeking belonging from other sources  Adolescents are craving additional autonomy, power, significance without accountability or repercussions  “Negative attention is significance”  “Your attention is the sun” metaphor & mantra  When, then, & walk  “Wisdom and love are slow” For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You never know what is going to unfold while parenting teenagers... Listen to this podcast and consider how you can practice "warming up" to be ready to be your best self for the challenges that show up!Find show notes and more info about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-450-Warming-up-for-the-twists-turns-parenting-teens/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Nataly Kogan, and she’s here to talk about simple practices that can help us move from struggling to thriving.   Nataly starts off today sharing her amazing story as a child immigrant and refugee and how that led her to the work she does today. Nataly and I discuss how we can juggle motivating our teens to be achievers without pushing themselves to burnout. We talk about Nataly’s “Awesome Human Journal,” her TEDx Talk, and how our inner-critics help, or don’t help, our parenting. Nataly shares her wisdom about self-talk, why we are so much kinder when we speak to others, and how self-compassion makes us better parents. Finally, I ask Nataly to introduce her five emotional fitness skills: acceptance, gratitude, self-care, intentional kindness & compassion, and finding the “bigger why.”Takeaways from the show How do we teach teens to be achievers without pushing themselves to burnout?  Nataly’s “Awesome Human Journal”  Quieting your self-criticism  “Self-talk is not free”  Self-compassion improves your ability to show-up at your best  Making the decision to shift from struggling to thriving  We are not here to suffer “Treating yourself like a friend”  Emotional fitness skills  “Earning” or “deserving” self-care & how much time self-care takes For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me in the final solo show of 2023 in an exploration of how to calibrate ourselves to be with life unfolding. We can't know what lies ahead, but we CAN tend to ourselves in a way that warms us up for the unexpected twists and turns of life, Listen in to learn how.Find full show notes and information about our sponsors at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-448-Practices-for-tending-to-ourselves-new-year/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Andrea Owen. Andrea and I connect over our love of coaching and keeping things real and authentic (and our matching ‘surrender’ tattoos!). Andrea shares what she’s working on with her own two teenagers right now, and I ask how we can shift our perspective to view parenting challenges as invitations instead of just focusing on problems. We talk about how we can trust that things will work out okay, and Andrea shares what questions she asks people to help them discover their values and why value work is important. We dig into how we don’t know the impacts of our parenting, how our kids experience it, or how we will all remember what happened. Lastly, I ask Andrea how she coaches parents to move into a more present way of being in their relationship.Takeaways from the show How our own teenage years impact our parenting  Viewing challenges as invitations  Trusting that things are going to be okay  Defining your values: What’s important to you? What’s important about the way you live your life?  Values change over time  “Sending our kids to therapy with a carry-on bag, not a U-haul truck” For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me this week in an exploration of how we have been holding boundaries and expectations and how we can get ever more explicit while communicating the boundaries and expectations with our kids. It's good. And messy. It's all the things and I invite you to jump into the arena with me!You can find more about the show, show notes and information about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-446-Bringing-boundaries-expectations-to-life-while-parenting-teens Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Julietta Skoog!  My sister from another mister, Julietta, is my colleague at Sproutable, and she’s here today to talk about firmness.  Julietta starts by defining what firmness means (hint: it’s follow through, not being mean!), and we talk about how tone and confidence play into firmness.  We get into “being strict,” taking time for training & giving kids independence, and supporting our teens who need new social experiences.  Julietta shares her wisdom on leaning on relationship, connection, firmness when things get bigger with your kids and how to stay curious & collaborative.  I ask Julietta what we can do if our relationship is feeling frayed, and share the power in saying, “I love you, and the answer is no.” I ask what we can do when our teenagers physically leave against our wishes and what to do when they return.  Julietta and I talk about how messy & relentless being firm can be, then Jules shares an “aha” moment  about the teen years, and we wrap up with some thoughts on how our own teen years influence us. Takeways from the show What is firmness?  What does it look like?  Sound like?  Is firmness being mean?  Firmness is the foundation for mutual respect  Being a consistent parent  “Mean what you say and say what you mean”  Teens need new social experiences - how can we set them up for success?  “I love you, and the answer is no.”  What to do when your teen physically leaves (against your wishes) and what to do when they return  The similarities between the toddler years & teen years  Moving from regulation to relationship to reason  Firmness takes practice!  It can be uncomfortable.  “Fiercely committed, lovingly detached” For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me this week as we get into how communication is looking with our teens and how to be better at listening and creating opportunities for win/wins. Communication is key for nurturing strong relationships - no doubt there are powerful nuggets to take away from this show!Go to https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-444-Enhancing-Parent-Teen-Communication-as-Year-Ends/ for full show notes and information about our sponsors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Chad Dion Lassiter, and he’s here today to talk with me about how the holiday season can be a great time for parents to model the practice of tolerance, empathy and understanding their kids will need to be successful in our multicultural world. I ask Chad how we can prepare our kids emotionally for messiness with extended family during the holiday season, and he shares ideas on how we handle heavy conversations and how we set the tone of our home. I bring up the trickiness of when your core family unit feels one way, but the extended family feels differently, and good practices for parents who are advocating for their child.  We talk about the hard conversations that arise during family get-togethers, how to “host like a diplomat,” being present, & seeing the beauty in all people.  Takeaways from the show Families are cultural carriers  The holidays as an opportunity to visit & connect with your adult children  Winter holidays come with spoken & unspoken expectations  How can we prepare our kids for the messiness of extended family gatherings?  Encouraging our kids to participate in intergenerational conversations  Advocating for your child when extended family has different beliefs  How to “host like a diplomat”  Families socialize us into being who we are  What kids need “in their back pocket” for a holiday get-together  Families can have a heated conversations while still holding truth, love, & kindness at the core  Seeing the beauty in all people For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices