As usual, a compliment turns into a larger conversation about coveting hotness and beauty standards, as Jess and Caroline agree that the only thing they (or any of us) really care about is sex and attraction. But is beauty work a lie, or is it simply a way to masquerade in an identity they haven't historically aligned with? This breakdown of identity turns into a reflection on how people talk about themselves - basically, what all of our dating profiles would say if they were actually true. We chat about our best and worst qualities when it comes to romantic relationships, Jess describes why ice has become her love language, and Caroline finds herself relating to monkeys, bison, and...yep we're on cats again. Urgent news announcement! Lizzo posted about UFOs and we're wondering what it means for us. Plus, foot stuff, and the tenuous process of reconciling with your mom. Just be chill; it's not an apology. __ Share with a friend! Subscribe and rate us on your favorite podcasting app! Review us on Apple Podcasts! SUBSCRIBE on ⁠YouTube⁠ for full episode video. And FOLLOW US on Instagram for more: @not4everyonepod @thegoodsitter @jzdebakey __ Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

WHATADOS are back, and though Jess and Caroline are physically falling apart and can't agree about hair removal strategies, their non-advice to the kooks is ready to rage. First up, keeping the fire alive in a long-term relationship - including asking for what you want (both directly and indirectly) and evaluating your sex life for signs of disconnection. Speaking of sex life, "whatado: eye contact giving head" is one of the best questions (if it can be considered a question) that we've ever received. Plus, why texting your ex happy birthday is always self-serving, and how to deal with unsolicited advice from friends in relationships when you're single and they're projecting. Make sure to check out the Instagram reel we referenced as an example in that last one. We wrap it up with a revelation from Caroline about the vulnerability that is needed for a new relationship to work, and a complaint from Jess that has thrown off her vision for some time now. We all have those smudges we just can't get out. __ Share with a friend! Subscribe and rate us on your favorite podcasting app! Review us on Apple Podcasts! SUBSCRIBE on ⁠YouTube⁠ for full episode video. And FOLLOW US on Instagram for more: @not4everyonepod @thegoodsitter @jzdebakey __ Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Caroline and Jess are back together at last and have very little to show for their time apart. No insights or reflections, no hot takes; just more contributions to the hot cat/cartoon crush directory. We also have plenty to say about our recent air travel experiences and the misery that is interacting with other people in flight. Airports everywhere are chaos, but there's something in our east coastal elitism that makes it especially unbearable to wait in a disorganized Italian queue. Plus, some stories from Caroline's acting career, including her big break in spoken word and a web series Jess fan-girled. Why does it seem like your friend wants you to lust after her new guy? Why doesn't he keep salt in his home? We don't have the answers, but we do have the giggles. Leave us a five star review. __ This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. DM her for your audio editing needs! __ Share with a friend! Subscribe and rate us on your favorite podcasting app! Review us on Apple Podcasts! SUBSCRIBE on ⁠YouTube⁠ for full episode video. And FOLLOW US on Instagram for more: @not4everyonepod @thegoodsitter @jzdebakey __ Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

In her final days before turning 32, Jess reflects on what it means to be fun, especially having been a late bloomer in a lot of aspects of traditional American life. Somehow it's been both a help and a hindrance to her self confidence - who else wants their mommy whenever they enter a sketchy club or party? Children of immigrants please stand up! This leads into an exploration of two age-old questions: first, how to conceptualize regret, and next, how to tell the difference between anxiety and intuition. Jess has touched on these topics before and promised to provide links, so here they are: NFE Ep. 27 touches on breaking old patterns NFE Ep. 13 touches on how to build your intuition Peaking Ep. 3 on being a late bloomer and dating anxiety No boring dudes meet 🤝 more boring relationships! Plus, a nod to Love Island and an update on her creative projects - including a recent behavioral health industry podcast Mind Your Business. The content never ends; follow Jess on threads! __ Share with a friend! Subscribe and rate us on your favorite podcasting app! Review us on Apple Podcasts! SUBSCRIBE on ⁠YouTube⁠ for full episode video. And FOLLOW US on Instagram for more: @not4everyonepod @thegoodsitter @jzdebakey __ Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

How are we? Just look at our hair. Though this week's YouTube video will be delayed FYI - we're happy to have you listening here! In a new series called Hot Takes Only, we're giving our spiciest quips (i.e. really just the truth) on listener-submitted topics. Consider this episode a scientific analysis; we cover morning vs. night showers, couples sitting on the same side of the booth, boxer shorts, brunch, "baby on board" decals and more - with many twists and turns and tangents in between. You've never heard a podcast go this deep on bumper stickers. Caroline also shares a dating hack that is the complete opposite of what Instagram therapy is telling you, and Jess talks about her upcoming vacation - not to mention debuts her talent for sound effects and beatboxing. It's a fun one to get you through the week; until next time, kooks! __ This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. DM her for your audio editing needs! __ Share with a friend! Subscribe and rate us on your favorite podcasting app! Review us on Apple Podcasts! SUBSCRIBE on ⁠YouTube⁠ for full episode video. And FOLLOW US on Instagram for more: @not4everyonepod @thegoodsitter @jzdebakey @abinewhouse __ Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Caroline goes for a wild ride in this solo episode while Jess is away on vacation. Caroline is recording at midnight, just closing in on the hating hour - and the perfect hour for deep unhinged chats. Cozy up with your delirious host as she dives into the worst guy we all dated, how to keep from being annoyed at that one friend who is... being really annoying, and the art of embracing embarrassment. Caroline also touches on getting caught in the middle between your parents and personal growth goals. A Favorite therapy book! Anyone who likes this podcast will love it The Emotionally Exhausted Woman https://amzn.to/46wDwgr Share with a friend! Subscribe and rate us on your favorite podcasting app! Review us on Apple Podcasts! SUBSCRIBE on ⁠YouTube⁠ for full episode video. And FOLLOW US on Instagram for more: @not4everyonepod @thegoodsitter @jzdebakey __ Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA Song Featured in Episode: "Die for You" by The Weeknd DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Another week, another update from Jess that she still hasn't done that one thing she's been putting off at work. Not to worry - what she isn't accomplishing in terms of *tedi* tasks, Caroline makes up for by testing her spelling, as the two drift through stories of middle school spelling bees, high school burnout, and eventually, bible camp shame. Getting hit on when you’re in a relationship hits different, and also leads to a pretty unwinnable set of choices - come off bitchy, or lead someone on. Why must smiling and making eye contact be seen as such a virtue! Not only that, but apparently being a great conversationalist can be a hindrance to your dating life - at least it works for podcasting. Caroline asserts that there's a clear imbalance in what men and women generally expect from their partners today, and Jess has consulting jargon to fix it all. To close out the episode: some Instagram reels Jess has watched recently, gaslighting in the beauty industry, and a “not a personality” we’re both guilty of. So crazy that we almost forgot there is no self. Caroline also mentioned this podcast episode, for any kooks interested in a deeper dive on "clean beauty": Naked Beauty Podcast: Debunking Beauty Myths, Rethinking “Clean” Skincare, and Finding the Perfect SPF; featuring Charlotte Palermino of Dieux Skin. __ This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. __ Share with a friend! Subscribe and rate us on your favorite podcasting app! Review us on Apple Podcasts! SUBSCRIBE on ⁠YouTube⁠ for full episode video. And FOLLOW US on Instagram for more: @not4everyonepod @thegoodsitter @jzdebakey @abinewhouse __ Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Dog sex! Jess and Caroline open this episode on the same page about almost every aspect of acquaintance-level run-ins, except for one; please someone help Jess feel seen on the elevator in her Turbie Twist. We can walk in opposite directions once we get off. Next, Jess opens up about a recent breakthrough she had around patterns in interpersonal relationships, all thanks to AppleTV's Shrinking and not so much to her infrequent therapy visits. Who knew all that stands between us and increased intimacy with our loved ones could be as simple as a boop. In this week's edition of Not a Personality, Caroline articulates at what point liking Halloween and puns becomes an attack on her personal space. There's a certain order fruit must be consumed in, and according to Lebanese adage, it all comes back to eating the grapes or killing the guard. Our astrological charts round out the episode and one thing's for sure - compatibility over sex and aggression was never a concern. Back to procrastinating and Love Island UK we go. __ This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. __ Share with a friend! Subscribe and rate us on your favorite podcasting app! Review us on Apple Podcasts! SUBSCRIBE on ⁠YouTube⁠ for full episode video. And FOLLOW US on Instagram for more: @not4everyonepod @thegoodsitter @jzdebakey @abinewhouse __ Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

After a week not on vacation together, Jess and Caroline are back in-person with a stupid vengeance. Caroline is fresh off a time-pressured mast sesh and Jess is reeling from her tertiary involvement, so the energy is PG-13 despite all the talk about cartoons. Their butts get hot as Bugs Bunny, Max Goof, Aladdin, and Danny Phantom are described in intimate detail; whichever you're into, it's always your choice. "The game," however, may not be. A quick detour from the sexually charged giggles turns to a listener DM inquiring about how important it is to do everything with your partner. TL;DR: Don't do that. We discuss the fickle balance between solo time, friend time, one-on-one partner time, and partnered group time - nobody said it was easy, but Jess is proud of herself for communicating her priorities to the people closest to her. Caroline frees us all of the notion that it makes you a bad friend to be obsessed with a romantic interest for a while, but she also notes how important it is to keep in touch with your full life when that starts to happen. AND ALSO a story about being super chill in a sex shop, two petty complaints, Jess's cute and funny battle with idioms, puppies, and hilarious wisdom from the Nora Ephron documentary. __ This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. __ Share with a friend! Subscribe and rate us on your favorite podcasting app! Review us on Apple Podcasts! SUBSCRIBE on ⁠YouTube⁠ for full episode video. And FOLLOW US on Instagram for more: @not4everyonepod @thegoodsitter @jzdebakey @abinewhouse __ Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

This deep-dive on friendships brought to you by countless listener DMs and years of oscillating between loneliness and social burnout. The balance is hard to strike and the stumbling never ends, but if we had to summarize our tips for finding lasting friendships, they might look something like: Accept that making new friends takes time and will contain disappointment Know that not every connection needs to be your deepest in order to serve you Allow space for friendships to breathe when the ebs and flows of life happen Be mindful of how you approach your friends for help, and how you offer help to them in return Beware of possessive friendships and passive-aggressive behavior Be honest with yourself about the friendships you can and should prioritize In conclusion, everyone's just trying to live their lives. Plus some stupider tidbits we threw into the episode for good measure, including Caroline's iPhone notes from 2017, a hidden talent Jess discovered in herself this week, and the origin story of the phrase "having a time." AND ALSO, a drop-in from our editor, Abi! Now let Jess get back to her ugly night. __ This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. __ Share with a friend! Subscribe and rate us on your favorite podcasting app! Review us on Apple Podcasts! SUBSCRIBE on ⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠ for full episode video. And FOLLOW US on Instagram for more: ⁠⁠⁠@not4everyonepod⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠@thegoodsitter⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠@jzdebakey⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠@abinewhouse⁠⁠⁠ __ Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA __ DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!