
Not For Everyone
Not for Everyone is a podcast hosted by a hater (Caroline Winkler) and a lover (Jess DeBakey). We're just two sweet kooks getting carried away being ourselves, waxing poetic on every topic we care too much about. Come for the humor, stay for the honesty. We know we’re not for everyone, but we bet we are for you.
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Subscribe on Youtube and follow on Instagram: @not4everyonepod
Latest episodes

Jun 20, 2024 • 1h 14min
78. Not for Empaths + The Bizarre Stigma Around Couples Therapy
It’s a miracle: Caroline is healed. But the source of her healing is so unexpected that it leads Jess and Caroline down dangerous conversation roads, like discussing dreams and someone identifying as an ~empath~. They talk about how to handle dark mental health days and discuss the difference between self love and self worth, and what to do when the idea of self worth becomes damaging.
Plus, a few relationship quandaries and WHATADOs: dealing with opposing preferences around the house, navigating different sex drives, the stigma of couples therapy, and the fear of telling friends about your relationship problems. They couldn’t end without a little game revolving around Beyoncé, since her music is all Jess has listened to for about a year. It’s a N4E renaissance.
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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse.
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Share with a friend!
Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!
Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video: https://www.youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePod
Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:
@not4everyonepod
@thegoodsitter
@jzdebakey
And don't forget about our MERCH store: https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/
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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Jun 13, 2024 • 1h 12min
77. WHATADO: Flaky Friends + The Lie We Tell About Work/Life Balance
We know you’ve been wondering what to do lately, and we’re here to deliver. Get ready to dive into some friendship-related WHATADOS: how to handle that flaky bff, what it means to cling to the idea of someone, tips for hosting old friends, and strategies for helping a friend stop talking about their ex.
But first, let’s talk work troubles. What does it mean to actually like your job, and to want to put effort into it? And how can you give yourself a break when you’re aiming to be the best at what you do? The episode is rounded out with a complaint, of course – Jess and Caroline are sending a specific article of clothing straight to hell.
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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse.
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Share with a friend!
Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!
Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video: https://www.youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePod
Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:
@not4everyonepod
@thegoodsitter
@jzdebakey
And don't forget about our MERCH store: https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/
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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Jun 6, 2024 • 1h 10min
76. Not for Chafing + Perfectionism is Making Your Relationship Harder
It’s summer, ya kooks! Except…is it? Caroline and Jess debate when summer actually begins before launching into a WHATADO: how to dress for summer when you’re a curvy honey. Personal style is the conundrum that will never die. They cover wearing color, anti-chafing tips, and their mother’s thoughts on their changing bodies.
Plus, Jess has a relationship realization worth a deep dive: how to handle the emotional onslaught you feel after getting critical feedback from a very steady, rational partner. The two decipher the difference between feeling disconnected and feeling out of sync, and follow up on some *couple things* shared by listeners. They round out the episode with some rapid-fire hot takes (shroom edition?) and complaints about kids on the internet. Because why not end with babies when you are two babies? IYKYK.
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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse.
__
Share with a friend!
Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!
Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video: https://www.youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePod
Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:
@not4everyonepod
@thegoodsitter
@jzdebakey
And don't forget about our MERCH store: https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/
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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

May 30, 2024 • 1h 9min
75. Not for Cocktail Parties + How to Stop Micromanaging Everyone in Your Life
Jess and Caroline start out silly this week with some thoughts on oral talents (not what you think) and boobs as birthstones. In classic Not For Everyone style, this leads into deep conversations about knowing when difficult periods of life will end, how to achieve mindfulness, and the mania of babysitting your partner at social events.
Plus, work dilemmas: what to do when you might be the micromanager, how to find your motivation at work, and dealing with the trap of unlimited PTO. Oh the dramas of modern life…take Jess' and Caroline’s hands. They’ll guide you through it.
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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse.
__
Share with a friend!
Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!
Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video: https://www.youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePod
Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:
@not4everyonepod
@thegoodsitter
@jzdebakey
And don't forget about our MERCH store: https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/
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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

May 23, 2024 • 1h 15min
74. Not for Enabling Negative People + An In-Depth Recap of Our Trip to LA
This week, Jess and Caroline discuss all things couple culture, like when baby talk is appropriate, putting on non-sexual performances for your partner, and engaging in bits that, sincerely, only you and your person will understand. They also get into their couple culture with each other while recapping their recent trip to LA—which is full of general travel complaints and how they overcame them all.
Plus, they get deep on what it means to let people experience their own negative emotions. What if we didn’t need to “fix” every scenario for others? They talk about how to respond to chronic complainers, what to do when you feel like you’re shutting down, and how to still find a way to keep these people close in our lives. Also, don’t miss the wrap-up conversation about friends’ siblings’ baby pictures…whose side are you on?
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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse.
__
Share with a friend!
Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!
Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video: https://www.youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePod
Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:
@not4everyonepod
@thegoodsitter
@jzdebakey
And don't forget about our MERCH store: https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/
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Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
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DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

May 16, 2024 • 1h 29min
73. Beauty Hot Takes + Reframing Your Professional Path with YouTuber Alexandra Anele
This week Jess and Caroline sit down to record together live in LA, where they are joined in studio by a very special guest: Alexandra Anele! Alex is a talented makeup artist, content creator, dedicated NFE listener, and Caroline’s first YouTube friend – so it was a delight to have her on to share tips and hot takes on all things beauty and personal style.
But it’s not all makeup and beauty; the crew also ruminates together on if you can have a career in social media without losing your mind. Naturally. Plus, we’ve got a complaint about packing for trips, a flirty husband whatado, advice on breaking up with your therapist, and what it means to work hard at something and then find out you hate it. Put on your safety goggles and buckle up, because this episode is equal parts science and art, kooks!
For more Alex, check out her amazing makeup tutorials and more on Youtube.
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This episode was produced by our prince, Abi Newhouse.
__
Share with a friend!
Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!
Subscribe on YOUTUBE for full episode video: https://www.youtube.com/@Not4EveryonePod
Plus follow us on INSTAGRAM for more:
@not4everyonepod
@thegoodsitter
@jzdebakey
And don't forget about our MERCH store: https://not4everyonepod.myshopify.com/
__
Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
__
DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

May 9, 2024 • 1h 4min
72. Not for Unspoken Expectations + How to Hack Your Mood Swings
Jess and Caroline discuss tracking energy levels, navigating communication styles in relationships, and the importance of not letting labels define actions. They also touch on public bathroom etiquette and networking without flirting. The episode includes lighthearted banter and gratitude exchanges among hosts.

May 2, 2024 • 1h 23min
71. Hater Hour: Interrogating My Boyfriend + Career Fulfillment and Dating Crimes
In this special edition of Caroline's alleged "solo" episode, she is joined by her boyfriend, Justin. Justin chimes in to share a male perspective on all your questions - including what it’s like to date our resident hater, his perspective on dating apps, when it might make a little sense to “sell out” in your career, and so much more. They also debate various “dating crimes and misdemeanors” and can’t help but end it on…forearm strengthening tips? Don’t miss all the nasty boi phrases Caroline made Justin say in this special edition episode!
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This episode was produced by your hater, Caroline Winkler.
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Share with a friend!
Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!
And SUBSCRIBE on YouTube for full episode video.
Plus FOLLOW US on Instagram for more:
@not4everyonepod
@thegoodsitter
@jzdebakey
__
Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
__
DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Apr 25, 2024 • 57min
70. Jess Thots: Defining Creativity + Living Up to Family Expectations
Sound the alarms: we’ve got a solo ep from Jess this week! She talks all about creative bursts, and how the past two weeks specifically have been glorious for her. But when the burst fades away...Jess reflects on what should happen next. She turns to Instagram DMs to learn how listeners conceptualize the idea of “being a creative” and how that looks in different career paths.
Later, she goes into some therapeutic practices for understanding yourself and your place in your family. As a child of immigrants, Jess grew up with “survival parenting,” and she tells us a few ways she’s started to untangle herself from parental expectations. Get inspired bbs—whether you need a creative push or some time spent healing that sweet inner child.
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This episode was produced by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. DM her for your audio editing needs!
__
Share with a friend!
Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!
And SUBSCRIBE on YouTube for full episode video.
Plus FOLLOW US on Instagram for more:
@not4everyonepod
@thegoodsitter
@jzdebakey
__
Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
__
DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!

Apr 18, 2024 • 1h 30min
69. IYKYK: All Your Sex Fantasies Revealed + Making Dating Apps Work for You
It’s the one we’ve all been waiting for…the milestone of the century…the 69th EPISODE. Join Jess and Caroline (and a special guest??) to talk all your kookiest sex fantasies, including respected older gentlemen, tears as foreplay, marketplace porn, pod sex, and…Catwoman?
And then one person’s fantasy gets Jess and Caroline in rumination mode: is your sex better if your relationship is better? Plus, they discuss how to work through sex insecurities, asking someone out in real life, and the many dynamics of dating apps. Warning: ghosts may be involved.
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Thanks to Alex-Productions for the music!
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This episode was produced by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse. DM her for your audio editing needs!
__
Share with a friend!
Follow, rate, and review on your favorite podcasting app!
And SUBSCRIBE on YouTube for full episode video.
Plus FOLLOW US on Instagram for more:
@not4everyonepod
@thegoodsitter
@jzdebakey
__
Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
__
DISCLAIMER: All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or health professionals, or professional of any kind, really. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
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