Quiet Messenger: Redefining leadership & messaging for introverts & sensitive souls

Closing out Speaking to What Matters: Conversations on Messaging for a More Just World, here is my personal debrief with specific aha moments and learnings I took away from each leader about how to show up for social justice in your messaging. Listen in. A Few Takeaways: You can’t slap up new inclusive messaging on your website and expect more diverse clients to come. Messaging is the end point after you’ve done the internal work and learning. (Hat tip to convos with Cher Hale and Trudi Lebron.) Be discerning. There’s no formula for knowing when to pass the mic / when to speak up / what to say / how to do any of this. (HT Erica Courdae and Nisha Moodley.) Be really clear, specific and explicit about who your work is for. More words vs collapsing people into narrow labels for the sake of tidy marketing. (HT Kelly Diels and Trudi Lebron.) Slow down. Harm often happens when we’re moving so fast and not taking time to be intentional and present and see the actual humans in front of us. (HT Tamala Poljak, Nisha Moodley, and Trudi Lebron.) Values-based marketing is when you attract people who don’t just have the problem you solve but who share the same values. (HT Trudi Lebron and Kelly Diels.) It’s not about being an “expert,” it’s about being a leader. And being a leader is more about how you show up than about doing it perfectly or right. (HT Nisha Moodley, Tamala Poljak and Erica Courdae.)   Deeper support from me: What’s your Messenger Archetype? Take the quiz. My Messenger Mastermind is an intimate circle of up to 6 women coaches & leaders who want to feel solid, confident & consistent in their messaging and grow a movement that matters ~ both to the world and to their business’ bottom line. As a Copywriter + Messaging Expert, I craft websites that make your dream clients feel SEEN and convey the true value and impact of your work so that it moves them to sign up.  Did these conversations create any shifts or realizations for you? Anything you’re implementing into your business? Let me know in the comments of this episode’s post over on Instagram. Warmth, Adria

We’re all continually learning & navigating how to share in these times which are highly polarized and where a lot of our collective trauma is at the surface.  As my guest today, Nisha Moodley, points out, we’re just at the beginning of learning how to be together on the internet. And we’re unlearning + relearning how to do it in a different, more generative way. Nisha is an Integrative Leadership Coach who’s been supporting women to liberate their leadership and weave their gifts in service of our shared vision for the past 10 years. With an Indian father who escaped apartheid in South Africa and a mother who traveled around the world consulting with the UN on democratic elections, she grew up having justice-oriented conversations at the dinner table.  This can be a scary time to share our ideas, thoughts, hearts and work online, especially if we are empaths, highly sensitive, or naturally more private or quiet.  And also, with the rush of social media and online business training ingrained into us, it can be easy to unintentionally co-opt or capitalize on important issues without meaning to. In this convo, we dive into how to share in a way that is intentional and sensitive to big traumatic world events…even if you’re in the middle of a launch. Listen in. Nisha and I talk about The importance of holding the framework of “we’re learning” so we don’t get attached to “how do I do it RIGHT” How people are willing to give one another more grace when we’re met with genuine openness, receptivity and humility The blurry line between sharing our experiences and centering our own experiences What it means to be willing to “learn in public” for those of us who have an online business or share parts of our lives and work online How can we slow down, come into our humanity, and connect with what is happening and who it’s happening to? Why using your voice requires you to face your internal perfectionism and attachment to being seen as right or good Deeper support from me: What’s your Messenger Archetype? Take the quiz. My Messenger Mastermind is an intimate circle of up to 6 women coaches & leaders who want to feel solid, confident & consistent in their messaging and grow a movement that matters ~ both to the world and to their business’ bottom line. As a Copywriter + Messaging Expert, I craft websites that make your dream clients feel SEEN and convey the true value and impact of your work so that it moves them to sign up.  Nisha’s Links: Devotion Podcast Instagram @nishamoodley Nisha’s Website What sparked for you from my conversation with Tamala?  Let us know in the comments of this episode’s post over on Instagram. Warmth, Adria

After decades as an artist and musician, Tamala Poljak decided to become a therapist because they’re passionate about working with people who have felt othered. Now they almost exclusively work with the LGBTQIA+ population and a lot with triadic partnerships, polyamory and different ways that people create family and home. Coming from a generation that couldn’t even imagine going by a pronoun that was more congruent with who they are, they help their clients find themselves and know what it feels like to be genuinely SEEN.  In this conversation, Tamala and I talk about CIS-centering, pronouns and what it means to be a leader. Also, being present with the person in front of you and not be so quick to make an assumption about their identity based on whether they wear makeup or have muscles, or how they dress or style their hair. Listen in. Tamala and I talk about Why an apology when you misgender someone means they have to take care of you — and what they really need from you The practice of loving this body that carries your soul, not just “I have cellulite so I’m going to love myself” Examining how we label “good,” “bad,” and “wrong” in the context of a world that says, “This is how it should be.” The safety & relief created when a CIS hetero person puts their pronouns next to their name on a zoom call But also, why it’s not just about getting the pronouns right, it’s about being present with actual people The privilege CIS folks have to never have to think about what it means to be CIS gender Why the leaders with the most impact are teachable as well as teachers The responsibility we hold as dominant identities to educate ourselves and create spaces that make it safer for others to feel welcomed as they are Deeper support from me: What’s your Messenger Archetype? Take the quiz. My Messenger Mastermind is an intimate circle of up to 6 women coaches & leaders who want to feel solid, confident & consistent in their messaging and grow a movement that matters ~ both to the world and to their business’ bottom line. As a Copywriter + Messaging Expert, I craft websites that make your dream clients feel SEEN and convey the true value and impact of your work so that it moves them to sign up.  Tamala’s Links: Tamala’s Psychology Today Page tamalapoljak@gmail.com What sparked for you from my conversation with Tamala?  Let us know in the comments of this episode’s post over on Instagram. Warmth, Adria

Today we hear from Trudi Lebron, a sought-after DEI Consultant whose goals are to: Bring more Black, brown, indigenous, latinx folks and other people of color into the coaching industry, both as practitioners AND participants Help white coaches create more diversity, equity and safer spaces to bring BIPOC folks into With a Masters (and PhD-in-progress) in Social Psychology and experience as a bi-racial teen mom on welfare who worked her way up in the non-profit sector while building her own business, she has a unique perspective on using our businesses for social good.  And she’s seen some of the biggest mistakes well-intentioned people make in the coaching industry.  In this conversation, we dive deep into the nuances of crafting messaging that speaks to your people AND values, and the difference between being a leader for equity online and the actual coaching container you can safely hold. Listen in. Trudi and I talk about How niching down can create safety…and why radical inclusivity in your space can actually be harmful Why “Is this true?” is a far more helpful question to ask than “Is this okay?” when it comes to talking about who your work is for  What it looks like to have a values-based business – and some of it might feel counter-intuitive  The first steps to get to equity and inclusivity (because it doesn’t start with messaging) Why we need to be super honest about who we are including into our spaces…and who we’re NOT What it means when 95% of your clients look just like you…and how to find the people at the margins of your niche Deeper support from me: What’s your Messenger Archetype? Take the quiz. My Messenger Mastermind is an intimate circle of up to 6 women coaches & leaders who want to feel solid, confident & consistent in their messaging and grow a movement that matters ~ both to the world and to their business’ bottom line. As a Copywriter + Messaging Expert, I craft websites that make your dream clients feel SEEN and convey the true value and impact of your work so that it moves them to sign up.  Trudi’s Links: Trudi’s Instagram @trudilebron Equity-Centered Coaching Collective Trudi’s Podcast Business Remixed What sparked for you from my conversation with Trudi?  Let us know in the comments of this episode’s post over on Instagram. Warmth, Adria

If we design for the people with the most marginalized identities, the experience improves for everyone else. That’s a core belief of Kelly Diels, a Feminist Marketing Consultant who trains feminist copywriters and helps bake our beliefs into our business practices to generate money and justice. She saw that, working in the women’s empowerment space, those who don’t identify as women often get excluded.  To make her space as welcoming and inclusive as possible, she centers the people with the least dominant identities in her spaces and makes her policies and practices around them.  If you’re looking for grounded guidance you can apply immediately to your website and business practices, this episode is super-actionable. (I took a long list of notes for my own business!)  In episode 174, you’ll hear nitty-gritty copywriting advice, word shifts, and exact practices she uses.  Listen in. Kelly and I talk about Why it’s a myth that aligning your work with your values will make you less money The filter questions she asks herself: “Will this create more love? Will this create more justice?” The reason behind putting your pronouns on your zoomWhy she doesn’t use the word “womxn” anymore The traditional copywriting and marketing tendencies we need to avoid if we’re writing for justice Why she starts all her newsletters with what she’s selling, credits her influences in all her emails, and starts every meeting with a land acknowledgment Deeper support from me: What’s your Messenger Archetype? Take the quiz. My Messenger Mastermind is an intimate circle of up to 6 women coaches & leaders who want to feel solid, confident & consistent in their messaging and grow a movement that matters ~ both to the world and to their business’ bottom line. As a Copywriter + Messaging Expert, I craft websites that make your dream clients feel SEEN and convey the true value and impact of your work so that it moves them to sign up.  Kelly’s Links: KellyDiels.com  Kelly’s Instagram Native Land Map  Trevia Woods – Many Trees Lifeway What sparked for you from my conversation with Kelly?  Let us know in the comments of this episode’s post over on Instagram. Warmth, Adria

Today’s conversation is with Cher Hale, a publicist & founder who’s using her PR company to amplify the voices of underrepresented and marginalized groups.  After a year of offering podcast pitching services, Cher started noticing that the clients coming to her were mainly white upper-class life coaches.  They were paying her well and sustaining a good, consistent business. BUT she was telling the same stories, “I was moderately unhappy in my life and so I hired a life coach which helped me a bunch and so I became a life coach to help others who were in my situation, too.”  And while that’s a totally valid story, she knew it wasn’t what moved her.  But it was scary to make a major shift in business when she was getting consistent revenue and had bills to pay.  Then her mother passed away at the young age of 49 without fulfilling the dream of being a published erotic romance author. Her mother, a Taiwanese Black immigrant, hadn’t had the privilege that so many of us, as online business owners, have – to have created a platform.  That’s when Cher knew she wanted to use her skills as a publicist to tell the stories of underrepresented and marginalized voices.  Now she’s proud to say her client roster is about 70% BIPOC, LGBTQIA+ or disabled.  But it didn’t happen overnight. And it wasn’t a matter of simply updating the copy on her website.  In this conversation, you’ll hear what it took to get there and what it actually looked like to make those shifts in her business.  Listen in. Cher and I talk about: The intentional decision she made to surround herself with the kind of diversity she wanted to serve in her business Why marginalized and underrepresented communities need advocacy, NOT charity The very real ways the DEI journey is like learning Italian, from starting without a vocabulary to the moment you hit a critical mass of education and start speaking up  Why it starts with digging into your own “diversity story” (as her former client JenniferBrown calls it) All the ways our intersectional diversity has impacted our voices — or made us feel disconnected from our voices  Why we have to take the word “feminist” back and make it our own (and how the conversation around feminism has always been very white) The shifts she made to the very female-centric copy on her website, based on feedback from my her LGBTQIA+ clients Deeper support from me: What’s your Messenger Archetype? Take the quiz. My Messenger Mastermind is an intimate circle of up to 6 women coaches & leaders who want to feel solid, confident & consistent in their messaging and grow a movement that matters ~ both to the world and to their business’ bottom line. As a Copywriter + Messaging Expert, I craft websites that make your dream clients feel SEEN and convey the true value and impact of your work so that it moves them to sign up.  Cher’s Links: Ginkgo PR Website Cher’s Pitch List Freebie Ginkgo PR Instagram Unforgettable Podcast #62 Evolving Your Message With Your Clients with Cher Hale  Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s TED Talk – The Danger of a Single Story Jennifer Brown – Cher’s former client “Everyone has a diversity story” What sparked for you from my conversation with Cher? Let us know in the comments of this episode’s post over on Instagram. Warmth, Adria

Today, we’re joined by Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) Coach Erica Courdae in a conversation that will make it easier for you to keep speaking up ~ especially if you’re scared you’ll mess up. This is to get us into imperfect action…even that thoughtful, caring side of ourselves that second-guesses what we share and just wants to say it the “right” way. What I learned from Erica: Being in conversation with people who don’t look, live or love the way that you do is essential for us to collectively get to a place where no one has to feel othered.  Listen in. Erica and I talk about: How to avoid going down the shame spiral of, “Oh no, I did that wrong!” The ableist phrase I unconsciously used in our conversation…that’s common in the leadership community Why what you watch on tv, the music you listen to, the brands you trust, and the experts you follow all affect your strength as an ally Where Erica sees well-intentioned people mess up when using a DEI framework How to discern when to speak up and when to pass the mic Why the change is mostly NOT happening in the comments on Instagram or Facebook — and how to redirect your actions When it’s okay to rest your voice  Deeper support from me: What’s your Messenger Archetype? Take the quiz. My Messenger Mastermind is an intimate circle of up to 6 women coaches & leaders who want to feel solid, confident & consistent in their messaging and grow a movement that matters ~ both to the world and to their business’ bottom line. As a Copywriter + Messaging Expert, I craft websites that make your dream clients feel SEEN and convey the true value and impact of your work so that it moves them to sign up.  Erica’s Links: EricaCourdae.com Pause on the Play Podcast and Community  Erica’s Instagram What sparked for you from my conversation with Erica? Let us know in the comments of this episode’s post over on Instagram. Warmth, Adria

Here we are, at the first episode of Speaking to What Matters: Conversations on Messaging for a More Just World.  It’s my hope that this series of informal, real conversations with social justice leaders brings you at least one shift, aha moment, or breakthrough in how you want to show up.  Here’s where we’ll be going & who we’ll be learning from: [171] Messaging For a More Just World [172] Being an Imperfect Ally…When You’re a Sensitive Soul with Erica Courdae  [173] Evolving Your Work to Have a Social Justice Lens with Cher Hale [174 Feminist Marketing & Copy that Doesn’t Oppress with Kelly Diels [175] Is My Niche Excluding Marginalized People? With Trudi Lebron  [176] CIS- & Hetero-Normativity in Our Leadership with Tamala Poljak [177] Speaking About Issues Without Co-Opting Them to “Sell” with Nisha Moodley [178] What I Learned From 6 Social Justice Leaders About Messaging Today’s episode is our starting place, setting the foundation to lean into this series.  In all honesty, I sat for a while with whether to share my personal experiences of privilege and fragility. (Think sleepless nights debating whether to re-record this episode.) I don’t want to center my own experience.  But I also want to bring awareness to the layers of blindness we have when we posess dominant identities – white, CIS, hetero, able-bodied, medium-sized, middle class, youthful-looking.  Because most of us have at least one dominant identity which means most of us have certain, often invisible (to us), privileges that go along with that identity.  Even as well-meaning folks.  I want to normalize the feelings of discomfort that go along with this so that we can begin to TURN TOWARDS them rather than hiding from them and staying silent.  So I left this episode as-is. An imperfect, messy, honest, quick chat with you before diving into conversations with six smart, insightful leaders. (Starting tomorrow!) Part personal, part inspirational.   Listen in. Deeper support from me: What’s your Messenger Archetype? Take the quiz. My Messenger Mastermind is an intimate circle of up to 6 women coaches & leaders who want to feel solid, confident & consistent in their messaging and grow a movement that matters ~ both to the world and to their business’ bottom line. As a Copywriter + Messaging Expert, I craft websites that make your dream clients feel SEEN and convey the true value and impact of your work so that it moves them to sign up.  If there was one shift or breakthrough you’d want to take away from this series, what would it be? Let me know in the comments over on Instagram. Warmth, Adria

Each time I have meaningful conversations with would-be messengers as I enroll my Messenger Mastermind, several shared beliefs emerge.  These 6 beliefs, left unchecked, can easily keep you from expanding your impact as a Messenger. In this week’s episode, I’m going to show you how to transform those beliefs into your greatest allies so you can grow your biz and impact for years to come! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ As you’ll hear, I’m not immune to them either. I’ve had to move through them (and in some cases still am) in my business.  Listen in. We talk about: The reason you already have what you need to make a big difference Why you should become a Messenger Geek :~) What it means to build your Messenger Team How to make your priorities line up with your to-do list Deeper support from me: Enrollment closes this month for my Messenger Mastermind. It’s for women who want to feel solid, confident & consistent in their messaging and grow a movement that matters ~ both to the world and to their business’ bottom line. Limited spots ~ enrolling now. Apply here. Limits spots. Which belief resonates most for you? Pop on over to my Instagram and let me know.  Warmth,Adria

You care so much. You have something to say. You’re a Messenger… Or would-be Messenger.  Because even though you’re out there sharing, you still feel invisible. Ooomph.  I know the pain of that.  It’s noisy out there. ...And it can sometimes feel like what you say goes into a black hole... so what’s the point. Your people need to hear your message.  This ep of Unforgettable will help you identify the ways you may be unknowingly keeping yourself from being heard online.  We talk about: The most common messaging blocks I see that keep business owners from reaching their people  Why messaging isn’t only about communication and why the energy behind it matters just as much 5 shifts you can start today to allow your message to be heard Deeper support from me: Be sure to sign up for the Messaging Masterclass “Craft Messaging that (Lovingly) Calls in Your People” I’m leading this Friday, totally FREE!  Enrollment closes this month for my Messenger Mastermind. It’s for women who want to feel solid, confident & consistent in their messaging and grow a movement that matters ~ both to the world and to their business’ bottom line. Limited spots ~ enrolling now. Apply here. Limits spots. Which habit do you identify with the most? Pop on over to my Instagram and let me know.  Warmth,Adria