Securely Attached

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   - Why some kids, especially sensitive kids, get dysregulated all over again when parents calmly try to talk about what happened later. - How shame can get triggered in your child, even when you’re trying to be gentle and supportive. - What to do when “teaching moments” keep turning into meltdowns. - Why focusing on the before (not the after) of a hard moment can make all the difference. - Practical ways to help your child build self-control, handle frustration, and practice new skills without reactivating big emotions.   If you’ve ever thought, “I waited until she was calm… why is she losing it again?” this episode will help you understand what’s really going on beneath the surface and give you fresh, compassionate strategies to help your child learn and grow.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   🔗 Go to drsarahbren.com/discipline to download my free guide on effectively disciplining your child with strategies that don't utilize shame or guilt - but still work to get your child to behave!   👉🏻 Learn more about Parenting by Design, my guided program for increasing behavioral and emotional regulation in sensitive kids.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping “Big Reactors” learn to regulate and manage their intense emotions with Claire Lerner 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about disciplining your sensitive child with Dr. Vanessa Lapointe 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about supporting a child a sensitive child 🎧Listen to my podcast episode about preventing burnout when you have a sensitive child     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Joining me this week is Devon Kuntzman, the author of the brand-new book Transforming Toddlerhood: How to Go From Surviving to Thriving in the Toddler Years. Devon is here to talk about what’s really going on beneath the surface of those big toddler behaviors—and how parents can respond with calm, confidence, and connection.   Together we explore:   Why those “challenging” toddler behaviors (like tantrums, hitting, and defiance) are actually developmentally appropriate—and what they’re communicating. How to shift from punishment to teaching, and use discipline as a tool for learning rather than control. The meaning behind Devon’s concept of developmentally smart parenting and how it helps you set firm but kind limits. Practical tools for staying grounded and patient during your child’s biggest meltdowns. How to step out of power struggles without giving up your authority. Why your calm, confident presence is the most powerful parenting strategy you have.   Whether you’re deep in the toddler trenches or preparing for this next stage, this conversation will help you see your child’s behavior through a new lens—and bring more confidence, connection, and compassion into your parenting.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.transformingtoddlerhood.com/ 📚 Transforming Toddlerhood: How to Handle Tantrums, End Power Struggles, and Raise Resilient Kids—Without Losing Your Mind   FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@transformingtoddlerhood 📱@drsarahbren   CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 94. Toddler sleep: Why it’s different than infant sleep and how to use the attachment relationship to help them fall asleep, with Eileen Henry   🎧 90. Seeing the world through your toddler's eyes: Helping your child feel seen, understood, and validated with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series   🎧 209. How can I get my toddler to share and play nicely with other kids?   🎧 231. BTS: How can I build my toddler’s assertiveness skills?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   - Why Halloween can feel scary for preschoolers and what’s happening developmentally as they work through the difference between what's real and pretend. - Strategies you can use to help your child feel safe and confident around spooky decorations, costumes, and trick-or-treating. - A simple tip you can start doing now to help your child understand that masks and costumes are just pretend. - How to prepare your child ahead of time with coping strategies for when something feels too scary in the moment. - How to know when it may be appropriate to gently stretch your child’s comfort zone and when to call it a night.   If your little one is nervous about ghosts, monsters, or just the noise and chaos of Halloween night, this episode will help you turn spooky season into a playful, confidence-building experience for your child and a less stressful one for you.       ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions with Dr. Eli Lebowitz   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about building your child’s resilience   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about supporting your child’s emotional growth and regulation with Dr. Kristen Lindquist     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Joining me this week is Kate Rope. We're talking about how parents can raise daughters who feel strong, capable, and deeply connected to themselves, while also supporting our own mental health as parents.   Together we explore:   - How to parent from hope (rather than fears) and why this can help your child feel safer, more capable, and resilient. - How identifying your family’s "North Star values" can guide you through tough parenting decisions. - The deceptively simple, yet powerful shift of pausing and listening before reacting. - Practical ways to nurture assertiveness, support healthy friendships, and help girls trust their inner voice. - Why our own self-care and modeling are essential to raising strong, emotionally secure kids. - How to create everyday opportunities for girls to practice autonomy, confidence, and consent.   Whether you’re raising a daughter or simply want to strengthen the emotional wellbeing of the kids in your care, this conversation is filled with insight, validation, and real-life strategies you can start using right away.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗https://katerope.com/    📚Strong As a Girl: Your Guide to Raising Girls Who Know, Stand Up for, and Take Care of Themselves   📚Strong As a Mother: How to Stay Healthy, Happy, and (Most Importantly) Sane from Pregnancy to Parenthood: The Only Guide to Taking Care of YOU! 💻 https://katerope.substack.com/     FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@kateropewriter 📱@drsarahbren     ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 Want to learn more about therapy and coaching resources at Upshur Bren 🔗 Want to learn more about therapy and coaching at Upshur Bren Psychology Group? Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that’s right for your family.   CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 304. Stress, screens, shifting hormones, and early puberty: Why parenting 6-12 year olds is more important now than ever with Dr. Sheryl Ziegler    🎧286. Empowering girls to navigate media, body image, and societal pressures with Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein   🎧146. The hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace   🎧 108. How to talk so your teen will listen (plus lay the groundwork for this when they’re little) with Elizabeth Bennett  

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   - The difference between executive function coaching and academic tutoring, and how to decide which is right for your child. - Practical systems and routines (like planners, folders, and structured study spaces) that you can implement yourself to help your child stay on top of assignments. - How to co-create routines and systems with your child that build independence and make them more likely to stick with it. - When to consider a neuropsychological evaluation for your child—and how identifying whether challenges stem from ADHD, learning differences, or executive functioning deficits can help you target the right supports to strengthen their skills. - How parents can support their child without overwhelming them or stretching family resources too thin.   Understanding the difference between executive function coaching and tutoring can make all the difference in getting your child the support they truly need. This episode will help you feel confident and informed as you decide what’s right for your family.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   🔹 If your child struggles with organization, planning, or follow-through, executive function support can make a huge difference. At Upshur Bren Psychology Group, we offer in-person and virtual coaching nationwide. Visit upshurbren.com/executive-function-coaching to learn more or schedule a free consult call to find the right support for your child.   🔹 Wondering if a Neuropsychological Evaluation could help clarify your child’s challenges? Visit upshurbren.com/neuropsychological-testing to learn more about the services we offer at Upshur Bren Psychology Group, or schedule a quick, free call to talk through your child’s unique needs and explore the best next steps.       ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about determining if a Neuropsych Evaluation is right for your child with Dr. Yael Rothman & Dr. Katia Fredriksen   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how technology in schools impacts learning, child development, and mental health with Andy Liddell   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why boys and girls need different things with Michael Gurian     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Joining me is Dr. Stephen Porges, one of the most influential voices in modern neuroscience and the creator of Polyvagal Theory, the framework that has transformed how we understand safety, connection, and emotional regulation.   Together we explore:   - How Polyvagal Theory emerged and how it builds upon attachment theory to explain our biological need for safety and connection. - The science behind our “gut feelings,” and how the body reflexively detects safety and threat in our environment. - Why hypersensitivities can cause us to misread others’ intentions and what this reveals about our own physiological state. - Why thinking in circular patterns rather than cause-and-effect can transform how we interpret behavior. - Why so many parenting strategies fall flat when a child’s nervous system is in a defensive state, and practical ways to reshape these moments to be more effective. - The hopeful truth that the nervous system is flexible and how “retuning” it can repair patterns of stress and disconnection.   Dr. Porges’s groundbreaking research offers a powerful new lens for understanding the human condition, revealing how our nervous system shapes behavior and influences the way we relate to our children, our partners, and ourselves. At its core, it’s a reminder that beneath all our words and actions lies a shared biological need to feel safe, seen, and connected.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.polyvagalinstitute.org/  🔗 https://www.whatisthessp.com/   ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 📚 Our Polyvagal World: How Safety and Trauma Change Us by Stephen W. Porges PhD and Seth Porges   🎧 Unlocking the power of polyvagal theory: Using the nervous system to wire our children for resilience with Seth Porges   👉 Click HERE for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child’s dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment.   CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Parenting highly sensitive kids: Helping “Big Reactors” learn to regulate and manage their intense emotions with Claire Lerner   🎧 Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom   🎧 Using presence as the antidote to trauma: How we begin to break cycles with Dr. Jacob Ham

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   - How to stay connected to your older children while caring for a baby in the NICU. - Why consistency, rituals, and transitional objects can help kids feel secure when routines are disrupted. - Creative ways to maintain a sense of closeness, even when you can’t physically be present. - How to involve siblings in bonding with the new baby from afar. - Why it’s okay to give yourself grace and lean on support systems during this stressful time.   If you’ve ever worried about balancing the needs of multiple children during a family crisis, this episode offers compassionate guidance and practical strategies to help your older kids feel loved, supported, and secure—even when life pulls you in different directions.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 🎧NICU Survival Guide with the founders of NICU Nook, Dr. Stephanie Simon and Amanda Neilan   📚 Growing Families: Helping Children Cope with a New Sibling     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how "mom brain" can be our greatest strength, not our biggest weakness with Dr. Nicole Pensak   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about processing birth trauma with Dr. Sterling   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about maternal health and Internal Family Systems with Rebecca Geshuri and Paige Bellenbaum     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

In this engaging discussion, Kelly Mahler, an occupational therapist and interoception expert, shares her insights from over 20 years of working with children. She explains interoception, the 'eighth sense,' and its crucial role in helping kids regulate their emotions and behaviors. Listeners learn how parents can use play to bolster children’s awareness of body signals and explore why some kids struggle with this connection. Kelly provides practical strategies for everyday interactions, advocating for a gentle approach that fosters understanding and emotional growth.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   Are there different “rules” when disciplining kids with a neurodiverse condition, like autism, if they act aggressively toward your child? The difference between protecting your child and overstepping another parent’s role. Practical, respectful ways to set boundaries with kids who aren’t yours. How to manage playdates so everyone feels safe, supported, and set up for success. Why parents’ “thresholds” for conflict differ, and how to navigate those differences with compassion. The value of open communication (with other parents and your own child) in tricky social dynamics.   If you’ve ever found yourself unsure about intervening when someone else’s child crosses a line, this episode offers clear guidance, empathy, and strategies to help you respond with confidence while keeping all kids safe       REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   🔗 Want to learn more about therapy and coaching at Upshur Bren Psychology Group? Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that’s right for your family.     ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering secure attachment in your child's peer relationships with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about neurodivergent brains and sleep with Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about treating autism with a strength based approach with Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Joining me is Ash Brandin, educator and author of Power On: Managing Screen Time to Benefit the Whole Family. Ash brings a fresh, nonjudgmental perspective to how families can navigate technology with intention and respect.   Together we explore:   - Why the “less is better” approach to screens often creates guilt and power struggles, plus a strategy that is more effective. - How to use Ash’s “ABCs of screen time” framework (access, behavior, and content) to make intentional choices that meet everyone’s needs. - The importance of respect and collaboration in setting screen boundaries (and boundaries in general) which help kids learn to be active participants, not passive rule-followers. - How video games are a form of play that, used intentionally, can build autonomy, resilience, and connection. - Practical strategies to help kids notice their internal states, regulate emotions, and transfer those skills beyond screens.   Whether you’re navigating video games, phones, or family movie nights, this conversation offers practical tools and a compassionate perspective to help your whole family build a healthier relationship with technology.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.thegamereducator.com/ 📚 Power On: Managing Screen Time to Benefit the Whole Family 📚 The Gamer Educator Substack    FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@thegamereducator 📱@drsarahbren   ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 I’m so excited to be partnering with PokPok to offer you an exclusive discount. You’ll get 25% off, plus a 7-day free trial to see how it works for your family. Go to drsarahbren.com/pokpok and introduce your child to screen time that feels more like playtime.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about regulation and screen time with Alé Duarte   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about EdTech with Andy Liddell   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how smartphones really affect kids’ mental health with Dr. Wendy Rote   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about battling over screen time with The Screentime Consultant Emily Cherkin