Shameless Leadership

Last week was my Infirmary Tour. With my mom in town for a week, we visited sick & recovering friends/relatives and sat at my sister’s bedside as she successfully endured thyroid surgery.  Then Vinnie got a staph infection. Then I got my period early.  Then I realized I had no tampons.  It was a week of not getting done any of the things I NEEDED to get done and not sitting in my own space to do the things I normally do.  This is me NOT at my finest. Not at my most positive. But still trying to be a damn Pollyanna.  It’s not all rainbows & unicorns, friends.  Oh, and apparently Vinnie likes my belly button.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Erin Brown is someone I have long admired.  Erin is one of the first women I found online who was part of a much-needed movement to encourage women to STOP shrinking.  Her words and philosophies have been hugely impactful and healing to me in the last 4 years.     Erin gives women permission to unapologetically stand in their space “As Is” (the name of her first book.)  She is brilliant and graceful, but also bold, honest and raw.     I knew I wanted to interview Erin long before I launched The Shameless Mom Academy.  So, it was an honor to record this with her.    Listen in and hear Erin share:   Her journey into motherhood and personal training that was not about weight loss, although it yielded weight loss How she evolved from Fit Mama Training, a place where she was often criticized, into I Am Erin Brown, a place where she is revered. How she learned to manage mommy rage   The power of sharing her experience with sexual assault to stop intergenerational trauma The magic of her new book, Letters To Lola – and how Lola has inspired her to change the landscape for all women and girls     Links: Web: http://iamerinbrown.com/ Follow Erin on Facebook Letters From Mom Workbook  Letters To Lola on Amazon As Is on Amazon (print version) As Is Ebook Energy Clearing by Cindy Dale Cheryl Strayed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I was recently at two different events that both brought home the message, “How You Do Anything Is How You Do Everything”.  Receiving this message twice in a short period of time hit me over the head. I knew it was perfect for an SMA episode.  How do you do things? What is your attitude when times are tough? How do you model positivity and persistence?  Here are my 8 Tips To Be Better At Anything  Look for the silver linings Look for the funny story  Give 3 put ups for every put down Expect more – stop being Eeyore Practice gratitude constantly  Thank everyone for everything Start sentences with, “I appreciate….” Be the spokesperson for positivity  Links Mentioned: http://fitbottomedmamas.com/2012/04/what-no-one-tells-you-about-infertility/  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Here’s what I want my Mother’s Day to look like:Wake up in a quiet space with no people around meLay in bed and readMimosa and french toast deliveryGet a massageGo shoppingLunch with unlimited wine (maybe with friends, not with family)Catch up on Real HousewivesUnlimited dark chocolate consumption NapVodka gimlet happy hour with girlfriendsDate night with husband  I don’t want to:Prepare any meals or snacksThink about what the hell is for dinnerDo laundryDo dishesEmpty the dishwasherGo grocery shopping I don’t want to negotiate:How many bites of breakfastOr lunchOr dinnerHow many minutes till naptimeWhat toys can come in the carWhat toys can come in bedWhat toys can go to schoolHow cracked the door is at bedtimeIs tonight bath nightDo we have to wash hairIs mommy or daddy reading stories I don’t want to look for:The missing tiny, clear lego piece The random toy someone gave us two years ago that is suddenly of the utmost significanceThe beloved soccer shirt that must be worn everyday I also don’t want to: Pack a school lunchCut your bread the wrong wayGive you the wrong cupOr the wrong spoonOr the wrong napkin.  Oh, and I really don’t want to clean pee off the wall or poop off your bum – or the toilet seat, or the leg of your pants. Furthermore, I don’t want to feed the dog, smell the dog, let the dog out, keep the kid from yanking the dog’s tail, or clean the dog’s diarrhea off the heated floors The best gift you could give me is a day alone. A day where I would do everything I never get to do on my own timeline.  BUT, here’s what would happen… I would look at pictures of you. I would watch the video of your first bath. I would watch the video of you crawling on the beach and squawking like a seagull when you were 10 months old. I would watch the video of your first steps at Lala’s house, chasing a piece of cheese. I would look at that picture of us on the ferry to Nantucket where your hair is blowing in the wind and you are filled with bliss. I would look at the picture of you on your first day of preschool, filled with concern and cuteness. I would look at the picture of you this Christmas when you realized that the Santa dude brings PRESENTS. I would look at the picture of you laughing with your dad that I just took a couple weeks ago.  I would be away from you and all I would want is to be with you. Because that’s how it works, isn’t it? I need you as much as you need me.  So, we will spend mother’s day together. There will likely be some epic meltdowns, because history tells me that Mother’s Day is when those are most likely to happen. There might be a time out or two (for me, if not for you).  There will be wine and chocolate – but probably not in unlimited quantities, because I will want to be the one to read you bedtime stories and share your final snuggle of the day.  To all you mamas out there who want Mother’s Day to be about NOT being a mom for 24 hours, I HEAR you. And I raise a glass to you.  Being a mother to my Vinnie is the honor of a lifetime – although it usually doesn’t feel that way. But there are moments when it strikes me over the head – like the few times we have had to go to Seattle Children’s Hospital for little things and I have to hold back tears walking through the hospital doors because I am acutely aware that some kids walk though these doors and they never walk out.  I get to me someone’s mom. It is a job I will fail at miserably. But in spite of that it will always be my biggest and more proud accomplishment.  No matter what you do today, know that you are someone’s most special person. How lucky are you?? Happy Mother’s Day Shameless Moms. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

 I’m so grateful to my friend Jillian Mitchell for sharing her story of fostering to adopt her son, Fletcher. Jillian and her husband Matty went through quite the journey to find the family they were always meant to have.  As a young couple, Jillian and Matty set out to foster a child before ever trying to have biological children, knowing there are so many kids out there who need and deserve an amazing family.  On December 28, 2011, they received the phone call that made them parents and within hours they were bringing their son home with them.  What followed was over 2 years of highs and lows and a lot of love. They didn’t know how their foster story would end, but they were able to fully embrace Baby Fletcher as their son immediately, having agreed with each other early on that, “Whatever child we bring home deserves all of our hearts no matter what happens. When they are with us we will love them like they will be with us forever, no matter what happens.” For 2 years, Jillian and Matty worked through a grueling court mandated visitation schedule where Fletcher had time with his biological mom (sometimes 4 days a week – where he cried through entire visits as Jillian listened in from outside). They endured many court dates and changes of events & routines as Fletcher’s biological mom bounced in & out of sobriety and rehab.  On more than one occasion, they feared they may lose their son.  You will note how calm and graceful Jillian is as she shares their story. Even in the darkest moments of her life, knew she was with the family she was meant to have. She admits her gut told her, “I know it’s going to be okay because I know this is my son.” I can’t thank Jillian and Matty enough for sharing their story. I hope it inspires another couple to go out and find the family they are meant to have.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is pretty raw for me. It is not an easy thing for me to talk about, but I think it is an extremely important topic.  It deeply saddens me to see so many women consumed by shrinking. I want to change that and I think sharing my story can help a lot of women. Today I share:  How much I weighed before, during and after pregnancy Why the scale is lame and meaningless The medical issues that can interfere with weight loss How to find comfort in the skin you’re in  If you exercise consistently and make healthy food choices and struggle to lose weight, here are some tests you can ask your doctor or naturopath about: *general blood work (including Vit D, Iron, Iron stores, B vitamins)*thyroid panel (can be done with general blood work)*fasting blood glucose series (this is multiple draws before/after sugary drink - this might only be relevant if you have a fam history of diabetes, but worth asking about)*adrenal testing (spit test?)*sleep study (only necessary if sleep apnea might be a concern - do you snore?)*sleep consult (only necessary if you're routinely getting less than 7 hours of sleep)*food sensitivity testing (can be done via blood draw) I have found naturopaths are excellent at spending a lot of time really diving in and closely looking at this information, more than MDs. Most naturopaths will book a 90-minute intake appointment, which is really necessary to dig deep into your concerns. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Back in Episode 13, I shared with you that I’m a bit of a stalker.  Jill Coleman is someone I’ve been stalking for a couple years now.  Her story about the evolution of her relationship with food is something I relate to 100%.     As I’ve taken a gentler approach with food in recent years, I have been so inspired by everything Jill has to say.  In fact, I’ve adopted many of her philosophies (especially when it comes to WINE – can I get an AMEN?!?)   If you struggle with food at all, you will learn a ton today!   Today Jill shares with us: How to finally find and manage moderation in your diet (#moderation365) The use of pre-emptive cheats to ward off binging and over the top indulgences (enter: wine!) The truth about food scarcity and how it messes with your head How to eat within reason and feely fully satisfied everyday (#satisfactionfactor) How to recover and be a little more kind to yourself when you “fall off the wagon”     Links: To read more fully about Jill and her philosophies about food, head over to: www.JillFit.com     On May 3rd, Jill will be launching her TreadLift program here: www.TreadLift.com   For more Shameless Mom info on “Bad” Food Days, check out Episode 03.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Before I start this episode on the topic of why you should not hustle I have to say thank you. Thank you to all of you who listen to this podcast, comment, share your stories or leave reviews! I woke up this morning and saw on iTunes that The Shameless Mom Academy is ranking in 3 categories for new and noteworthy! So thank you so much for your feedback! Why you shouldn’t you hustle? I have five reasons why you shouldn’t! The hustle can have such an effect on your body not just physically but mentally as well. Your body needs rest and a chance to recharge so you don’t lose your mojo or passion.  Today we learn: Long term is not so pretty—for me personally I’m not going to lie some of it has to do with my age You don’t want to burn out and lose passion—At 25 I burned out to the point that I wanted to get my tubes tied! I went back to school for another field that didn’t work with kids—Don’t get to the point you burn out You will lose your mojo—pace yourself Not sustainable—my business has to be sustainable between 9 to 5, anything before or after those hours I’m not responsible for It’s not fair to your loved ones and YOURSELF—If you’re busy hustling when do you have time for anything else? The impact it has on your body…literally—don’t push yourself so hard it could affect your health No space left for creativity—you need to rest and recharge If you want something bad enough, you will make it happen— try to relax on deadlines to make sure this is what you want to do You will make it work if you have to—don’t make it seem sacrificial  You can’t quit right? WRONG! —When you quit something you are opening up the door for something new Links Mentioned: www.shamelessmomacademy.com/review  Yes Please by Amy Poehler Year of Yes: How to Dance It out, Stand in the Sun and be Your Own Person by Shonda Rhimes  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

  Craig Ballantyne is a Productivity and Success transformation coach, an author and a Fitness expert. His new book is called The Perfect Day Formula. He also created the successful Turbulence Training fitness program.    Craig has been my business coach since before my son was born. He gets more done in a day that anyone I know. He keeps things simple and sets himself up for success each day. He’s our first male guest on the show, but once I started reading his book, The Perfect Day Formula, I knew so much of it was relevant to Moms and  I had to bring Craig on to share the formula!     In this show, Craig shares the following:   How Craig built his systems The why behind the book and the freedom it can afford What led up the the 3C’s You can only control how you respond to things, not the things Reactive people always struggle - can you relate to Craig’s description? Reactive people never plan ahead and only respond to other people’s emergencies Proactive people start the day off right because they started preparing for it yesterday Why you should brain dump as often as you brush your teeth How 5 minutes of clear thinking can change your life Planning and preparing is what gets you ahead Getting a small victory first thing in the morning is critical to having a great day You don’t have to get up early to have the Perfect Day Why setting up your own rules for each day sets you up for success You make time for things you have a rule for Everyone has interruptions to their schedule and problems accomplishing things Control what you can control and don’t worry about the rest Ways to reward yourself without just using sugar, caffeine and alcohol How Sara completely gave up caffeine The difference between a purity day and a regular day The #1 thing you can do to own your day, each and every day!     Get the book on Amazon - The Perfect Day Formula PerfectDayFormula.com - get the kit to assist you in creating your vision You can read his daily blog at earlytorise.com     shamelessmom.com/review - If you found this episode meaningful, leave a review   Follow us on Instagram and Facebook - Shameless Mom Academy   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I got a lot of feedback from episode 3 when we talked about “having bad days with food”. There is no such thing! What you eat does not define who you are or what kind of person you are. If you haven’t listened to episode 3 you should pop on over and listen. To kind of tie in with episode 3 we are going to talk about sugar and cravings. I am going to give you some tips and tools to fight back against those sugar cravings! A lot of people believe that they eat lots of sugar because they have no willpower. This is wrong! It is not about willpower. If you have had sugar recently or eat it frequently then you will crave that sugar.  So let’s talk about some less challenging ways to get rid of those sugar cravings. We are going to talk about: “Pro pros” aka protein and produce—don’t give that junk food room in your diet! Blood sugar break down—You want a slower breakdown of sugar so you can feel fuller longer Crowding out vs quitting—quitting can sometimes make your cravings stronger! Produce = more energy The key to making sane choices—eating lots of protein or produce for your first meal of the day. (Hangry isn’t pretty on anyone) Bulk up your meals—Using greens and veggies is a fantastic way to pump your meal up Chop that stuff up! — nobody likes to see the stem of your spinach hanging out of your mouth while you are talking Links Mentioned: If you love the show, it would mean so much if you would leave us a review in iTunes. To make it easier, click here: Shamelessmom.com/review Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices