Shameless Leadership

Over the last couple of months, I’ve had the opportunity to speak on communication confidence at a handful of leadership events. One of the things that has been really eye-opening for attendees is learning about the connection between their internal communication and external communication. So, I thought this would be a helpful (and fun!) topic to dig into on the pod.  Let’s start with defining each of these terms. Internal communication is how you communicate with yourself. This includes the words and phrases you use and the tone of voice you use. When you're in a tough moment, do you speak to yourself with kindness, compassion, and respect? Or, do you have a tendency to beat yourself up and talk to yourself in a way you would never talk to someone else who is struggling? When you are on the cusp of making a big decision or going for something new and big, do you champion yourself by reminding yourself of your strengths, talents, and qualifications? Or, do you tell yourself you’re probably not qualified, and you probably won’t get what you want out of the situation?  External communication is how you communicate with others. When you are entering a high-stakes situation, do you show up with confidence and grace? Do you speak up, share ideas, and stand up for the people and issues that matter most to you in a way that calls people to take action and/or work beside you? Or, do you sit back, stay quiet, or run away the moment you sense anything uncomfortable, unpredictable, or challenging? Or, maybe you get defensive and aggressive when things don’t go your way - perhaps taking on a my-way-or-the-highway attitude?  As you may suspect, our internal communication greatly impacts our external communication. If you don’t have your internal communication dialed in, your external communication will probably be pretty poor, even harmful in high-stakes moments. Our internal communication patterns and habits are likely defaults that have been with us for years if not decades. In this episode, I talk through 5 ways to begin to shift your internal communication defaults in order to positively impact your external communication habits.  Bottom line… Your internal communication must be rock solid if you want your external communication to get you closer to your goals and dreams! Resources: Join Aligned, my leadership incubator for values-driven women leaders: saradean.com/aligned Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Can we talk about women masking at work?I spend a lot of time in conversation with women who are the only woman or one of very few women in the room at work. There is a fatigue and malaise that comes from being in this position long term - even if you enjoy and respect many of the men you’re sitting beside.When a person is notably different from the majority of the people around them, they mask themselves to fit in, be taken seriously, gain a competitive advantage, and maintain safety. Here are some of the ways many women routinely mask in male-dominated workplaces: Altering vocal pitch and language Modifying speech patterns to avoid feminine speech markers and amplify masculine ones Dressing to look “good” but also professional, well kept, not too showy, not too sharp Having hair and makeup done in a way that suits the room vs suiting comfort Suppressing natural emotional reactions Avoiding vulnerability Maintaining a calm and demure demeanor no matter how heated others are getting Controlling facial expressions Laughing at jokes even if uncomfortable Participating in meaningless conversations (sports, tech, male-dominated hobbies) Dismissing or hiding personal interests and hobbies Avoiding or downplaying family situations Positioning self as “one of the guys” Avoiding asking questions or seeking help Many women are so conditioned to masking that they don’t know they are doing it until they are in an environment where they no longer have to do it.One of the reasons I have built so many group coaching programs for women over the last decade is because of how deeply impactful it is when women come together and drop their masks. In these containers, deep growth and transformation transpire.No facades. No faking it. Only full transparency. All you. All out. THIS is the key to your future as a woman leader.In this episode, I talk through what masking looks like, what masking is costing you, and how you can start to drop your mask to show up more fully as you. All you.  Episode Highlights: 00:00 Understanding Masking in Women at Work 02:46 The Impact of Masking on Emotional Well-being 06:01 Navigating Gender Dynamics in Professional Spaces 09:06 Recognizing and Supporting Masking Behaviors 11:48 The Costs of Masking: Emotional and Professional 15:06 Strategies for Unmasking and Authenticity 18:00 Creating Supportive Spaces for Women 21:08 How You Can Take Action on This Episode Links Mentioned: Join Aligned, my Women’s Leadership Incubator for values-driven women leaders looking to be more loud in their leadership in 2025: saradean.com/aligned Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’ve recently had multiple conversations with women leaders who have expressed their desire to intentionally build part of their leadership legacy around supporting emerging leaders. Of course, this makes my heart sing. As someone who has benefited from the guidance of women who came before me, I know firsthand how impactful it can be when just one person shows they believe in you.In this episode, I explore how women leaders can effectively support and nurture emerging leaders within their organizations. I discuss the importance of modeling authentic leadership behaviors and providing strategic support that empowers the next generation of women in leadership. Through practical guidance and actionable strategies, leaders will learn how to create environments where emerging talent can flourish and reach their full potential.Modeling Leadership Behaviors That MatterAuthentic leadership begins with vulnerability and transparency. By normalizing failure and making it safe, you create a culture where innovation thrives and emerging leaders feel empowered to take calculated risks. Modeling imperfection reinforces that leadership isn’t about being flawless—it’s about how you respond to challenges and learn from mistakes. When you openly pursue growth, you demonstrate that learning is a lifelong process. This transparency dismantles the intimidating facade of leadership and encourages emerging leaders to embrace their own development journey with confidence.Strategic Support That Empowers GrowthSupporting emerging leaders requires intentional investment in their future. Start by having meaningful conversations about their aspirations and where they see themselves in five to ten years. Demonstrate your commitment by investing in their development through both free resources and high-value opportunities, such as professional development conferences and coaching. Regularly communicate the strengths you see in them that should shine more brightly, as well as the areas where they have room to grow. These conversations, combined with your explicit belief in their potential, create a strong foundation for their development.Recognition is also a crucial element of support. Acknowledge their successes and check in when something seems off. Show them that you genuinely care.Creating a Legacy Through Leadership DevelopmentThe most significant impact of your leadership may not be what you personally achieve, but who you develop along the way. By intentionally cultivating emerging leaders, you create a lasting legacy that extends far beyond your immediate sphere of influence. When women leaders commit to supporting other women, they help break down systemic barriers and open new pathways to leadership for women and other marginalized groups. This ripple effect transforms not only individual careers but also entire organizational cultures. Your investment in emerging leaders today shapes the inclusive leadership landscape of tomorrow, ensuring that diverse perspectives continue to drive innovation and success at every level.Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“You can’t pour from an empty cup!”There is this long-standing narrative that women should practice filling their cups so they have something in their proverbial cups to pour out and share with others in the form of time, energy, love, and/or care.  This narrative reinforces that women should take care of themselves for the purpose of being better caretakers of others. Because, as the cultural narrative goes, caretaking at home, at work, and in our communities is a woman’s primary role. We are trained from a very young age to be self-sacrificial at every turn like martyrs marching through life every damn day.  I led a training last week on how women leaders can support their teams during these extraordinarily challenging times. I kicked off the event by explaining that while the training was an opportunity for attendees to learn how better to take care of their teams during this time, I was first and foremost concerned with them taking care of themselves and filling their own cups. But… NOT for the sake of pouring into someone else’s cup.  You deserve to fill your cup just for the sake of having a full cup. Not for the sake of sharing anything in our cup with anyone else. You deserve a full cup that is just for you. There are enormous costs when we fill our cups only to pour into others. Over time, our physical and mental health are compromised. We find ourselves constantly on the brink of burnout, if not in full-blown burnout. We miss out on opportunities for advancement because we are so busy helping to advance others.  In this episode, I share examples of what it looks like to fill your cup just for you, how to break lifelong patterns of self-sacrifice and self-abandonment, and how filling your cup opens the door for others to pour from theirs (and why this is so important!) Links Mentioned: Join ALIGNED - my 6-monthWomen’s Leadership Incubator. We are currently accepting applications on a first-come, first-served basis. This incubator runs from April through September.  Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Leadership Podcast? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"I see you pulling a Beyoncé here,” I said to my client who was really tapping into her own inner Bey.  I’m referring to how Beyoncé broke the mold and rewrote the rules for herself—without anyone’s invitation or permission—to win her recent Grammy for Album of the Year. I saw the same thing with this client: breaking the mold and rewriting the rules for herself, without waiting for anyone’s invitation or permission.In fact, a number of the women leaders I work with are doing incredible work to figure out how to create new leadership opportunities for themselves because old-school systems and structures have kept them confined in their current roles for far too long. In the work I’m doing with these women leaders, there are a few key steps I designed for them to take as part of a larger leadership growth strategy. These are steps anyone can take when they are ready to forge a new path in leadership development - without waiting for an invitation or permission:1. Define your top 5 leadership values.2. Actively embrace your leadership values to amplify your leadership brand.3. Advance your thought leadership to think more expansively about what is possible outside of your current role.4. Identify opportunities to BE SEEN in places and spaces outside your current role.5. Start making connections with leaders who openly embrace the same leadership values you do.6. Position yourself for invitations to show up as a subject matter expert in your field.This is how Beyonce was able to rewrite the rules and forge a new path to her Grammy success – and how you can do the same thing. In this episode, I share with you exactly how to integrate these strategic steps into your current work. When you are stuck inside a system that doesn't work for you, it can be really challenging to see outside of the system. There are often multiple concentric circles of power (if not systems of oppression) that put a massive buffer between you and new opportunities. To cut through the junk (old school systems), you must take strategic steps over time to circumvent the systems that are holding you back. Of course, you can do this with a coach (Hi, that's me!). Or, you can start on your own by following the steps above to channel YOUR inner Beyoncé!Links Mentioned:Women Leaders! Join me for Rooted & Rising: Grounded Leadership for Turbulent Times on February 19th. This free workshop is a virtual workshop to connect with other women leaders and gain new tools and insights to carry you through this challenging season of leadership. Register for free at saradean.com/rising. Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com.We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessleadership.com/sponsor. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Every single time I mention being diagnosed with ADHD in my forties, women reach out to me. This has become the thing middle-aged women want to connect with me about the most.10 years ago, I could have never guessed I would be talking about the importance of brain health for women leaders. This wasn’t something that was on my radar until two things happened: I realized through a series of doctors and diagnoses over the course of a decade that my brain is not average.  Women all around me started hitting their mid-forties and questioning, “What is even happening in my head?!” Brain health refers to the overall well-being and optimal functioning of the brain throughout a person's life. This includes various aspects of cognitive, emotional, and neurological functioning. In addition to our brain health is our mental health. Mental health refers to our emotional and psychological well-being, including how we think, feel, and act. Our brain health can definitely impact our mental health and vice versa.  There is so much information coming out about women’s brains and ways in which our neurodiversity has been overlooked for generations. On top of this, many women are having stunning realizations about their brain health at a time in their lives when so many other aspects of our health and well-being are running wild (hello, perimenopause!)  The more we talk about what is happening with women’s brains in this season of life, the more we can get the support we need to thrive in our personal and professional lives and the more likely we are to be able to maintain function optimally in all the roles that are most meaningful to us.  In this episode, I talk about my own brain health, my path to multiple diagnoses, and how I’m currently taking care of my brain. I want you to see this example of how a neurodiverse leader is still SHINING in this extraordinary season of life. It took me years (decades) to put all these pieces together. My hope is that sharing my story will help other women connect essential dots in their lives much more quickly! Links Mentioned: ADHD Coach for Women, Emma Magenta: https://emmamagentacoaching.com/ Emma Magenta on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/emmamagentacoaching We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessleadership.com/sponsorInterested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The chaos and overwhelm you are feeling in this first month of 2025 is by design. The fear, if not panic, that strikes you every time you see a new news story is intended to break you down. Your worry about all the what-ifs has been strategically created so you stay distracted and disheartened.  Being a sociology nerd at heart, I found myself at my desk last week making a list of all the ways systems of oppression are being intentionally woven into our US culture (on top of the systems of oppression that already existed). It didn’t take much time to draw some distinct conclusions about what is happening right now.  One of the first things I noticed is that, for women, we have been here before. We are all probably aware of larger and more obvious historical systems of oppression that we have endured - not being allowed to vote, have a credit card, take out a mortgage, run in marathons, work in certain environments, have bodily autonomy, etc.  Beyond all that, one of the most insidious long-term systems of oppression that women have (and continue to endure) is diet culture. When I started drawing connections between the decades of brainwashing and indoctrination we have endured around our bodies and the intentional chaos we are enduring now as women and as other people carrying marginalized identities, I felt like I unlocked the puzzle.  Systems of oppression have some key characteristics: Institutional legitimacy and normalization - they embed themselves in laws, cultural practices, and social institutions, making them appear normal or natural rather than constructed.  Control of resources and opportunities - the dominant group restricts access to things like education, jobs, housing, healthcare, and other essential resources to maintain power over the oppressed. Internalized oppression - oppressed groups begin to internalize and believe the negative messages they are hearing about themselves. This causes them to retreat or turn on each other. Divide and conquer tactics - marginalized groups are pitted against each other, preventing unified resistance. This can include creating hierarchies within oppressed populations.   Punishment of resistance - there are severe consequences for those who challenge the system (violence, legal penalties, social ostracism, or economic retaliation). Control of information and narratives - education, media, and historical narratives are controlled and contrived in a distorted way that shapes how people understand themselves and society, often erasing or skewing the experiences of marginalized groups. All of these elements are present right now. This is why you feel so unnerved. This is why you feel like your power is slipping away by the day. All of these elements have also been present for decades as women have been conditioned to hold our bodies in disdain. So, none of this is new.  Rest assured, taking away aspects of your power does not make you powerless. The system is designed to make you feign powerlessness. You are NOT powerless. In this episode, I help you unravel what is happening so you can make informed decisions to keep moving forward in your day-to-day life. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessleadership.com/sponsorInterested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m not a doctor or any sort of expert on women’s health. But I am an expert on my body, as I’ve had 49 years to get to know her. We’re pretty tight. I like to think I know everything about her. However, a recent doctor appointment taught me so many things I didn’t know about her! At 49 years old, this body of mine is teaching me so many new things.  I never planned to do a podcast episode about my body at age 49, but I recently overheard a guy say, “So many more women are getting menopause these days.” In that moment, I realized there are people out there who have no idea about the things that all women born with uteruses endure. Rest assured, men, the same amount of women are “getting menopause” as always. It’s not like a new epidemic or anything. Calm down. I’m talking about menopause on the podcast today not because I’m particularly excited about it or educated on it, but because I deeply understand the consequences of women staying quiet. Women have been conditioned to push through pain, ignore our bodies' signals and symptoms, not cause a scene, not be self-advocates, and definitely not make others uncomfortable. We pay dearly for our silent discomfort. We lose job opportunities, endure preventable chronic illnesses, ride uncontrollable waves of emotions, are dismissed by healthcare providers, aren’t given the resources we desperately need, and feel like we are all alone with bodies that seemingly betray us over and over as we age. Enough of that, thank you very much. We need to start talking about all this menopause we are “getting” and not stop talking about it until there is a universal understanding of what women go through and corresponding resources, respect, and grace given in the workplace, in our communities, and in our homes. In this episode, I talk about symptoms of perimenopause (you might be surprised by some of these), my recent physical where I learned my estrogen is 4 times higher than it used to be (maybe thaaaaaat’s why I can fly into a fit of rage in 3 seconds flat?!?), what you can do to better advocate for yourself and your health, and why all this impacts our work as leaders in significant ways.  We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessleadership.com/sponsorInterested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“Sara, should I stay or should I go?” This is a very common conversation I have had with coaching clients over the years. Because I have the great honor of helping women deeply (re)connect to their sense of self, my clients frequently find themselves in a position of having outgrown their professional roles. As they learn about themselves, embrace their strengths and talents, and challenge themselves to grow in new ways, there is an almost inevitable realization at a certain point, “I think I’m ready for something more…”  With this growth often comes a clarity in values and connection to core beliefs that illuminates things that once seen and felt cannot be unseen or unfelt. Once my clients start to feel this, there is a yearning to find new options and opportunities. One of my clients told me early in our coaching journey that she envisioned herself staying at her current company for another 3-5 years. After working together for a few months and becoming more clear on her values and the value she has to contribute to the world, she felt she could no longer ignore the ways she has been consistently overlooked and dismissed at her current company. She had a newfound urgency to find a role somewhere where her values and her value were not being compromised at every turn. Her 3-5 year timeline shifted to 3-5 months!When my clients find themselves in this position, there is a lot to consider and process. In many cases, I don’t recommend my clients jump ship. In fact, I think there can be great value in a “strategic stay” where one stays put for a while longer in order to make a thoughtful transition without risking their personal and professional security and stability.  In this episode, I talk through how to know if you’ve outgrown your role and/or organization, considerations to make before making a move, and reasons you might consider staying put for a while longer in order to make a more strategic (and beneficial) transition.  It is my hope that learning and practicing my GAP Strategy will allow you to hold space for others in a way that advances your relationships and your leadership.  We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessleadership.com/sponsor Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have you ever gone to someone you trusted to seek help and they became defensive instead of holding space for you?Have you ever been in a conversation and felt yourself getting defensive as someone shared information with you?  You’ve likely been in both of these situations at some point, perhaps in personal and professional settings.  I found myself in the first situation a while back. I took a very serious concern to two leaders I trusted and I left feeling stunned that two leaders I trusted couldn’t hold space for me in a vulnerable moment. It was so disappointing and left me reeling for days. I kept rerunning the conversation in my head trying to figure out what went wrong and why I felt so defeated and hurt after the fact.  With some time and reflection, I was able to identify that the reason I was so upset was because I didn’t feel seen, heard, held, or valued in a moment where it felt really important to me to feel seen, heard, held, and valued.  As I processed this event, I spent a lot of time thinking about how I would have handled the situation if the tables were turned. I questioned myself, “How do I hold space for people when they show up and need me to sit with them and hear them out - even if what they want to share is difficult to hear?”My work demands this of me. I have to sit in hard conversations with coaching clients all the time. I preach confident communication to leaders all day long. I started to think through what my specific process is when it comes to holding space for others and I was able to put it together in a really clear and simple way that can be easily replicated in many different sticky situations and tough moments.  In this episode, I talk you through how to use my 3 step process, my GAP Strategy, to practice Gratitude, Acknowledgement, and Partnership in these challenging communication moments. I give you brief, clear statements you can use to immediately help the person sitting across from you feel seen, heard, held, and valued. These are the statements I wished I had heard in that conversation a while back. I wish the people who sat across from me were able to apply this strategy so we could have worked together toward a solution instead of leaving the situation feeling awkward, incomplete, and let down.It is my hope that learning and practicing my GAP Strategy will allow you to hold space for others in a way that advances your relationships and your leadership.  We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessleadership.com/sponsor.Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices