Dr. Gary Bell's Absurd Psychology

People who have borderline personality disorder tend to have more tumultuous, chaotic romantic relationships. Such relationships are often marked by stress, conflict, and dysfunction. Some of the ways that BPD can manifest in a relationship include: Oscillating between excessive demands for attention and a sudden withdrawal Severe fear of abandonment that leads to needy, clingy behaviors Lying and deception, often caused by the distorted perceptions people with BPD may hold. Impulsive sexuality and other sexual problems. The more severe these symptoms are, the more significantly they impact a relationship. This can lead to problems maintaining relationships. Evidence suggests that people who have BPD tend to have a higher number of romantic relationships because their symptoms make it difficult to maintain a healthy relationship. Tune in and learn how to be married to these crazy makers!

While some partnerships are beyond repair—whether it’s due to infidelity or emotional abuse—other couples call it quits at the first sign of conflict, but they miss out on an opportunity to resolve anything. Before making your decision, it’s important to try salvaging the marriage and working through your issues (we recommend seeing a marriage counselor). Since both of you play a role in the relationship, doing the inner work is also a necessary step. That said, if you’ve tried everything to restore your marriage, but still, nothing has changed, a divorce might be inevitable.  Regardless of your circumstances, if you’ve been asking yourself if your marriage is failing, there are several telltale signs that signal it’s time to end it. Tune in and learn all about pondering divorce!

You’re sick and tired of all the dating apps and websites and trying to meet people in your kickball league? And how many awkward first dates can you go on to find a “normal” person? And what’s with all the fake personalities and flaky people who seem more interested in themselves and can’t be bothered to make a slight change in their schedule to, you know, go out with you? If this describes the majority of your romantic life, I want you to open up your mind a little and start looking at things a little differently from now on. First, consider this: everyone wants a perfect partner, but few people want to be the perfect partner. I think the vast majority of problems around “finding someone” are caused by uneven expectations like this. But when you flip this on its head and you start taking a little more responsibility in this area of your life—when you start focusing on what kind of life you want to live and what kind of partner you want to be—you’ll start to see all the flakes and narcissists and liars fade into the background. You’ll start making genuine connections with people and make each other’s lives more enjoyable. Tune in and learn how to find that special person in your life!

The severity of midlife crisis symptoms can vary from person to person. Gender can also play a role in how a midlife crisis unfolds. Women may be more likely to go through a period of self-reflection as they shift away from tending to the needs of others to tending to their own needs. Men, on the other hand, might be more likely to feel as if their past decisions have limited their future options. Tune in and learn how to navigate this crazy period of life!

They say marriage is a covenant, and keeping that covenant requires two committed people. It doesn’t matter the grand wedding you had, the gifts you received, or the kinds of guests that attended your wedding.  It takes more than just a celebration to sustain a marriage union, and there are things to consider before getting married. Before you get married, you must understand the commitment that you are making to your partner.    Some relationships lead to marriage. But before venturing into what you will eventually enjoy (or endure) throughout your life, some vital elements of a marriage must be considered. Tune in and learn all the angles on whether or not to tie the knot!

You don’t need a degree in psychology to know that friendships are different, depending on gender. Men have historically bonded by relentlessly deriding one anothers’ haircuts and giving each other nicknames like ‘Sponge’ and ‘Meatball’. Women, meanwhile, will bond by baring little pieces of their souls to one another until one day they’re squeezing four people into the same toilet cubicle because they can’t bear to be apart from each other for even five minutes. This is a generalisation, granted. Obviously, some women will struggle to connect with other women, and some men will have close friendships with other men – some may not feel any relation to these gender categories at all. Tune in and learn all about how men without friends are affected and can change!

To parent effectively, it’s not enough to simply avoid the obvious dangers like abuse, neglect, or overindulgence. Indeed, The National Academy of Sciences delineates four major responsibilities for parents: maintaining children's health and safety, promoting their emotional well-being, instilling social skills, and preparing children intellectually. Numerous studies suggest that the best-adjusted children are reared by parents who find a way to combine warmth and sensitivity with clear behavioral expectations. Parents may find the Four C’s to be a helpful acronym: care (showing acceptance and affection), consistency (maintaining a stable environment), choices (allowing the child to develop autonomy), and consequences (applying repercussions of choices, whether positive or negative). Tune in and learn how to raise healthy children!

Starting a relationship is always fun and exciting, but making a relationship last is hard work. Once you’ve gotten settled in your relationship, you have to maintain an honest flow of communication and to continue to cherish your time with your loved one. Making a relationship last isn’t always fun, but the benefits of maintaining a long-term and committed relationship far outweigh the difficulties that you may face. If you want to know how to make your relationship last, just follow these tips. Tune in and learn how to sustain your love!

How do you protect yourself in this world? How do you ensure that the things you care for are protected on a daily basis? One way we protect ourself is by having strict boundaries. Boundaries are extremely important for human beings to maintain. Without boundaries, you are likely to be taken advantage of, manipulated, abused, or “blinded” by the shallow, self-centered people we encounter in our daily lives. As a child, I was often reminded by my parents to maintain appropriate boundaries at all times. I quickly learned that boundaries were a great shield of protection in a world that rarely respects or employs appropriate boundaries. For many of us, we learn in high school and as adults how very important boundaries are to our survival. Sadly, individuals who have traumatic histories or poor emotional attachment often become victims to people who violate boundaries because of their own emotional neediness. Sometimes it is very difficult for these individuals to identify when they need to apply strict boundaries.This article will continue our discussion on poor emotional attachment which often results in poor boundaries. We will also look at7 major signalsthat our boundaries need to be adjusted. Tune in and learn how to take charge of your life!

People feel emotionally safe when they feel free of excessive criticism, free of excessive control by others, free of uncalled for blame or shaming from others, free from fears that others will turn anger on them, seen and heard when they express their thoughts, and free from concerns that others will leave them. They also feel safe to the extent that they receive positive attention from others, for example, affection, interest in what they say, agreement with their ideas, playfulness, smiles, appreciation for what they do, and support in response to concerns that they express. Tune in and learn all about the impact and how to become psychologically safety!