Dr. Gary Bell's Absurd Psychology

For those who do wind up divorced, there seems to be a magic number for when. No matter where in the world you’re from or in what culture you’ve been raised, you’re most likely to get a divorce…drum roll…four years into your marriage. Even more fascinating is why our human brains have evolved to hone a drive for love and partnership that lasts just long enough to raise a single child through infancy.Partnering allowed women to raise children and their male partners to provide for and protect them while the children was young. After that? We are, as mammals, driven to procreate with more than one partner in order to have the strongest genetic legacy. “If you’re having children with two or three men rather than just one, you’re creating more genetic variety in your babies. In other words, for millions of years, some primitive form of divorce was probably an adaptive mechanism to create more genetic variety Tune in!!

The Oxford English Dictionary defines “oppression” as “the state of being subject to unjust treatment or control.” However, this does not mean that those subjected to unjust treatment or control are aware of it. This is an aspect of oppression that is largely missed in popular culture when we consider whether we or others are being oppressed. Indeed, when living day to day in concert with the constraints of a given cultural milieu, we seldom consider whether we are actually being oppressed. Instead, we tend to think that one who wants to live according to the constraints of her culture is making a free choice. In contrast, the usual scenario we think of when we think of oppression is that of someone who is captured, confined, tortured, or otherwise unjustly treated or controlled against his or her protests and pleas for freedom. Those who organize rebellions, or who would do so if they could, are thought to be oppressed.  Tune in and learn about how oppression effects us all!

If you are worried about the future of your marriage or relationship, you have plenty of company. There's no denying that this is a frightening time for couples. More than half of all first marriages end in divorce; 60 percent of second marriages fail. What makes the numbers even more disturbing is that no one seems to understand why our marriages have become so fragile. In pursuit of the truth about what tears a marriage apart or binds it together, I have found that much of the conventional wisdom--even among marital therapists--is either misguided or dead wrong. For example, some marital patterns that even professionals often take as a sign of a problem--such as having intense fights or avoiding conflict altogether--I have found can signify highly successful adjustments that will keep a couple together. Fighting, when it airs grievances and complaints, can be one of the healthiest things a couple can do for their relationship.

Existential angst not only derives from the human inability to think, feel, and act in the world or experience a love for life, but also from the fear of the possibility of nonexistence and/or death. It can be lonely, isolating, and outright terrifying if one’s very existence is in question. Psychologist Carl Jung and philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre had similar thoughts about existential angst in that both focused on achieving meaningful existence through the development of inner resources, creative exercise of freedom, and overcoming self-deception. In essence, those who experience existential angst feel lost, think they have a purposeless existence, and believe they have been abandoned by life. Tune in and learn about Existential Despair and how to overcome it!

How to stop eating emotionally? Emotional eating (sometimes called stress eating or comfort eating) is difficult to control partly because we have no control over its biological determinants (e.g., genes). But what if other factors, ones that are easier to modify, were of greater importance to emotional eating? These other determinants—according to an article in the November 2018 issue of Appetite—are psychological and situational: Restrained eating and stress level. What is emotional eating? Emotional eating refers to consumption of food for the purpose of regulating one’s emotional states. Eating palatable foods—commonly, foods that are sweet, fatty, or high in carbs—may improve our mood temporarily, but that short-lived comfort comes at the cost of weight gain and other health issues. Tune in and learn how to overcome this horrible habit!

Burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and often physical exhaustion brought on by prolonged or repeated stress. Though it’s most often caused by problems at work, it can also appear in other areas of life, such as parenting, caretaking, or romantic relationships. Burnout is not simply a result of working long hours or juggling too many tasks, though those both play a role. The cynicism, depression, and lethargy that are characteristic of burnout most often occur when a person is not in control of how a job is carried out, at work or at home, or is asked to complete tasks that conflict with their sense of self. Tune in and learn how to overcome this massive barrier to life!

Regression therapy is an approach to treatment that focuses on resolving significant past events believed to be interfering with a person's present mental and emotional wellness. Therapists who practice this approach believe people seeking treatment for phobias, depression, intimacy issues, and a range of other concerns can see improvement in their state of mind by revisiting and reliving the early experiences that influenced the development of these issues. However, the approach is somewhat controversial, due to limited research supporting the method and the potential for false memories. Tune in and learn how our past lives may effect our future.

Human beings need to trust. Trust allays anxiety, helps lift depression, and makes it possible to consistently invest interest and enjoyment in one another. There could be no civilization, enduring health, or mental wellness without trust. The most ordinary interpersonal, commercial, medical, and legal interactions would be impossible without some degree of trust.In contrast, distrust is fraught with anxiety and resentment. No loneliness is lonelier than distrust.Intimate betrayal—abuse, infidelity, deceit, financial manipulation—fractures the ability to trust anyone who gets close to us, including friends, relatives, even children. Yet the human need to trust persists, creating an internal storm of wanting to trust while being terrified of it. Tune in and learn how to cope with betrayal and move past it.

A miscarriage is a real loss that can affect you physically, emotionally, and spiritually. But those who haven't experienced a miscarriage may not understand how deeply it is affecting you because people rarely talk openly about pregnancy loss. Often people don't view pregnancy loss as significant because the pregnancy was short. But the duration of a pregnancy does not determine the bond that you can feel with a baby you have lost. Tune in while we go through healing, dealing and understanding miscarriages.

Stress generally refers to two things: the psychological perception of pressure, on the one hand, and the body's response to it, on the other, which involves multiple systems, from metabolism to muscles to memory. Some stress is necessary for all living systems; it is the means by which they encounter and respond to the challenges and uncertainties of existence. The perception of danger sets off an automatic response system, known as the fight-or-flight response, that, activated through hormonal signals, prepares an animal to meet a threat or to flee from it. Tune in and learn how to restore order to your life!