Dr. Gary Bell's Absurd Psychology

When children are raised with chronic loss, without the psychological or physical protection they need—and certainly deserve—it is most natural for them to internalize incredible fear. Not receiving the necessary psychological or physical protection equals abandonment, and living with repeated abandonment experiences creates toxic shame. Shame arises from the painful message implied in abandonment: You are not important. You are not of value. This is the pain from which people need to heal. Tune in and learn all about healing from childhood abandonment!

Relationship scientist Raymond Knee coined the terms “destiny beliefs” and “growth beliefs” to describe an individual’s general approach to seeking and maintaining romantic relationships. People with destiny beliefs assume there is one person out there who they are meant to be with (a soulmate). They believe once they find the right person, the relationship will be relatively smooth and easy. In contrast, people with growth beliefs go into relationships assuming they will need to get to know each other and grow together through shared experiences. Their relationships aren’t “meant to be” but rather are “made to be.” Whether we have destiny beliefs or growth beliefs predicts how we think, react, and behave in relationships. For example, people with destiny beliefs tend to be more rigid in thinking about their partners. If relationships are either “destined to be” or not, there is little room to approach problems with flexibility and openness to change. However, people with growth beliefs generally expect that challenges will arise, and their relationship will grow as they address those challenges together. Tune in and learn if you can make that Soul Mate love connection!

For anyone whose life revolves around caregiving, including the parents of special-needs children, there are inherent risks that can jeopardize both their own well-being and that of the people they care for. Insufficient management of one’s own stress as one cares for others can lead to emotional burnout and feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and paralysis. Experts advise parents to find a practice that works for them, whether therapy, exercise, mindfulness, or another approach. It may bring on feelings of guilt, but caregiving parents need to redirect some of their energy to self-care and remind themselves that these efforts will directly benefit their child. Tune in for all kinds of tips and information of how parents can take care of their children and themselves!

Delusional disorder, previously called paranoid disorder, is a type of serious mental illness — called a “psychosis”— in which a person cannot tell what is real from what is imagined. The main feature of this disorder is the presence of delusions, which are unshakable beliefs in something untrue. People with delusional disorder experience non-bizarre delusions, which involve situations that could occur in real life, such as being followed, poisoned, deceived, conspired against, or loved from a distance. These delusions usually involve the misinterpretation of perceptions or experiences. In reality, however, the situations are either not true at all or highly exaggerated. People with delusional disorder often can continue to socialize and function quite normally, apart from the subject of their delusion, and generally do not behave in an obviously odd or bizarre manner. This is unlike people with other psychotic disorders, who also might have delusions as a symptom of their disorder. In some cases, however, people with delusional disorder might become so preoccupied with their delusions that their lives are disrupted. Tune in and learn how pervasive and detrimental this disorder is!

The Covid-19 pandemic led to a prolonged exposure to stress. As a consequence, researchers showed an increased interest in measuring social and community uneasiness in order to psychologically support the population. This increased attention might help in managing the current situation and other possible epidemics and pandemics. The security measures adopted in managing the pandemic had different consequences on individuals, according to the social role invested. Some segments of the population seem to be more exposed to the risk of anxious, depressive, and post-traumatic symptoms because they are more sensitive to stress. Tune in and learn how COVID has changed our psychology!

There is a downside to being in control when it involves trying to control other people, because other people don't want to be controlled by you any more than you want to be controlled by other people. In therapy, we often hear that if we do not like the way in which others are behaving, we are better off changing our own feelings about their behavior than trying to change their behavior. The reason for this is that behavioral habits are notoriously difficult to change, even when a person really wants to change his or her own habits; if people are not interested in changing their behavior, it is almost impossible to make them change. Tune in and learn about the consequences of our obsessions for power and control!

Destructive behavior takes various forms: from subtle self-sabotage and self-defeating patterns to passive hostility to severe self-destructive symptoms, violent aggression and, sometimes, evil deeds. Commonly, destructive behavior in adults bears the impetuous, impulsive quality of childish petulance or narcissistic temper tantrums. Or an infantile neediness, dependency, and dread of abandonment. Or an irresponsibility and angry refusal to be an adult: the Peter Pan syndrome, or what Jungians refer to as a puer or puella complex. The archetypal Jungian notion of the puer aeternus (male) or (female) puella aeterna--the eternal child--provides the basis for what has come in pop psychology and self-help movements (see, for example, the writings of Dr. Eric Berne, Dr. Alice Miller, or John Bradshaw) to be known as the inner child. What exactly is this so-called inner child? Does it truly exist? And why should we care? To begin with, the inner child is real. Not literally. Nor physically. But figuratively, metaphorically real. It is--like complexes in general--a psychological or phenomenological reality, and an extraordinarily powerful one at that. Indeed, most mental disorders and destructive behavior patterns are, as Freud first intimated, more or less related to this unconscious part of ourselves. We were all once children, and still have that child dwelling within us. But most adults are quite unaware of this. And this lack of conscious relatedness to our own inner child is precisely where so many behavioral, emotional and relationship difficulties stem from. Tune in and learn about this incredible experience all of us have!

Regret is a negative emotion that occurs when a person believes his or her past actions or behaviors, if changed, may have achieved a better outcome. Regret is often closely associated with feelings of guilt and shame. We often express the emotion of regret to others in the form of an apology. The emotion of regret can be broken down into two components A negative emotional state Cognitive construction of an alternative behavior or decision Even if the alternative decision or behavior was highly improbable or impossible, it can cause the person experiencing regret to apply a degree of self-blame. Regret may be characterized by negativity about the past in general, or about a particular incident in the past. For example, a person might feel badly about the way he or she has spent his or her life and be plagued by regret. Alternatively, the person might just feel badly about a particular incident—such as yelling at his or her mother the last time he or she saw her—and feel regret about it. Regret tends to be a long-lasting emotion, and people might say that they are plagued by feelings of regret that they cannot eliminate. However, regret can also be a short-lived feeling. For example, a child might regret tripping his or her sister and then quickly move past these feelings. The fact that regret is associated with the past, though, can make it particularly difficult to process because the actions that led to the regret cannot be changed. Tune in and learn how regret can dictate your life!

Being vulnerable with each other can also be a mutual endeavor, and it doesn't just involve revealing parts of yourself. It can also involve a joint effort toward something rewarding — an adventurous experience on a vacation, a joint lifestyle change toward healthier habits, an attempt to expand your mutual social circle, or even just expanding your minds together with new ideas in the form of thought-provoking books or movies. This puts you both outside of your comfort zone with the possibility of reward in the form of increased trust — like two comrades who were in the trenches together. And if it's a romantic relationship you're looking to increase your connection within. Tune in and learn more about how trust and integrity effect our entire lives!

The podcast explores the chilling world of psychopath stalkers, discussing their behaviors and motivations. It emphasizes the importance of recognizing stalking behaviors and taking action to protect oneself. It also delves into the different categories of psychopath stalkers, their motivations, and the link between stalking and borderline personality disorder. The podcast sheds light on the alarming rise of stalking incidents during the COVID-19 pandemic.