Dr. Gary Bell's Absurd Psychology

Happiness is an electrifying and elusive state. Philosophers, theologians, psychologists, and even economists have long sought to define it. And since the 1990s, a whole branch of psychology—positive psychology—has been dedicated to pinning it down. More than simply positive mood, happiness is a state of well-being that encompasses living a good life, one with a sense of meaning and deep contentment. Feeling joyful has its health perks as well. A growing body of research also suggests that happiness can improve your physical health; feelings of positivity and fulfillment seem to benefit cardiovascular health, the immune system, inflammation levels, and blood pressure, among other things. Happiness has even been linked to a longer lifespan as well as a higher quality of life and well-being.Attaining happiness is a global pursuit. Researchers find that people from every corner of the world rate happiness more important than other desirable personal outcomes, such as obtaining wealth, acquiring material goods, and getting into heaven. Happiness is not the result of bouncing from one joy to the next; researchers find that achieving happiness typically involves times of considerable discomfort. Genetic makeup, life circumstances, achievements, marital status, social relationships, even your neighbors—all influence how happy you are. Or can be. So do individual ways of thinking and expressing feelings. Research shows that much of happiness is under personal control. Tune in and learn how to make happiness a part of your life!

Repression is a defense mechanism in which people push difficult or unacceptable thoughts out of conscious awareness. Repressed memories were a cornerstone of Freud’s psychoanalyticframework. He believed that people repressed memories that were too difficult to confront, particularly traumatic memories, and expelled them from conscious thought. This idea launched a long controversy in the field of psychology. The notion that people repress traumatic memories that can be recovered in therapy has been discredited. There is ample evidence that people remember traumatic experiences even if they wish they could forget them and that memory is more malleable than previously believed. Outside of the repressed memory debate, people may refer to repression colloquially, describing the tendency to push difficult feelings down or avoid confronting certain emotions or beliefs. Tune is and explored how repressed desires can creep into our life of denial!

Passive aggression is a way of expressing negative feelings, such as anger or annoyance, indirectly instead of directly. Passive-aggressive behaviors are often difficult to identify and can sabotage relationships at home and at work. Instead of getting visibly angry, some people express their hostility in passive-aggressive ways designed to hurt and confuse their target. Most people will have to deal with passive aggression from others in their personal and professional lives at one time or another: a roommate who leaves a sweet-yet-scolding note about the one cup that was left unwashed, for example, or the report a colleague keeps forgetting to finish. Nagging or getting angry only puts the passive-aggressive person on the defensive—often resulting in them making excuses or denying any responsibility. Recent research shows that there are healthier ways to confront passive aggression and handle relationship conflict. Tune in and learn all about passive aggression and hoot deal with it!

The belief that love is true when it lasts is not an outdated concept. In her 2015 song, True Love, Ariana Grande describes how her relationship grew into true love from kisses to a commitment to last forever. But how can a person know that a relationship will last forever? Lovers don’t expect that even a genuine relationship will consist only of passionate positive emotions. In 1960, Buddy Holly’s song, True Love Ways, was released posthumously. Written as a wedding gift for his wife, Holly’s song predicted: “Sometimes we’ll sigh; sometimes we’ll cry ... Throughout the days our true love ways will bring us joys to share with those who really care.”  Looking back on his marriage in his song, Remember When, Alan Jackson recounts the ups and downs over the years: “There was joy, there was hurt ... We came together, fell apart and broke each other’s hearts.” Despite it all, Jackson anticipated: “We won’t be sad, we’ll be glad for all the life we’ve had.” Tune in and learn how ti find or create true love!

Whether or not we are granted a fresh start every year, the world is set up so that we believe it’s possible. But a fresh start doesn’t just involve starting something new, it means letting go of the past – in the form of jobs, relationships, living arrangements, body types, overall health – doing whatever it takes to get out of the rut you’ve been stuck in. Letting go is the flip side of starting over. Most of the time it feels easier to stay with people, places, positions – until forward motion has ceased entirely, and you need a whole new way of looking at your current situation. Diminishing returns are still return on an investment, and hanging on until something becomes unbearable sometimes feels like the only choice. It’s only later, what you shake your head and wonder how you let it go on so long. Knowing when to make a move takes years of experience, and a wide-lens view of where you are in life. The truth is…every day is a new start. Tune in and grab a new ticket to change your life!

Fathers make unique contributions to language development in their children; fathers actually matter more in this sense. When fathers use more words with preschool children during play, children have more advanced language skills a year later. Children whose fathers play with them, read to them, take them on outings, and help care for them have fewer behavioral problems in their early school years and a lesser likelihood of delinquency as adolescents. Tune in a learn what it takes to be a great father in this day and age!

One of the most prevalent—and damaging—themes in our culture is the need to be right. It's one of those essential memes that we take for granted. It is so deeply embedded in our belief system and in the collective psyche that we never even pause to consider it. It would really serve us to inquire why it is so compelling. Before we begin to look at that, let's just reflect on how it impacts our lives. From the more personal and mundane battles over who said what in the midst of an argument to the larger issues of politics, religion, abortion, health care, gun control or climate change, being right is mandated. It quickens our pulse, causes us to shout, and can sever relationships. It is the reason for most acts of hatred, violence, and warfare. Tune in and learn how to be happy!

Psychology has largely focused on the various things that can go wrong with the human mind, including different forms of mental illness and how we react to traumatic events in the world. While positive psychology tries to remedy that by focusing on topics such as happiness and self-fulfillment, the countless research studies exploring what it means to live more fully tend not to be known outside the academic community. Even though the popular media is now bursting with stories and articles describing how to diet effectively, have a better sex life, develop washboard abs, have a successful marriage, etc., they also seem to perpetuate various myths about happiness and how it can be attained.  As an alternative to the various quick fixes promised by media sources worldwide, Dozois instead breaks down his advice on living more fully into the following life lessons: Engage in happiness-relevant activities. Tune in and learn how to find great satisfaction in your life!

Many of the people I work with tell me they feel restless, knowing there is “something more” to do with their careers and their lives. They also feel a little sad and maybe resentful. Is this you? As you look back on this year, do you feel grateful for what has occurred or relief that it is finally over?Actually, you can feel unfulfilled when life is good and when it isn’t. You can be busy and successful but sense emptiness inside. Or you can be on the other end where you feel nothing is how you wished it could be and that others are at a better place than you. The restlessness, shallowness, sadness, and resentment can’t be blamed on your boss, friends or family. You feel these emotions because your choices have left you disconnected with yourself. Making life choices based on what eases your fears instead of what fulfills you is an act of self-denial. You miss your passionate, joyful, grateful self. Tune in and learn how to undo the Restless Soul Syndrome!

Unemployment has especially hurt older workers in this recession. Workers 55 years old and older are more likely to be unemployed and spend longer looking for a new job than is the case for younger workers. They also often experience discrimination. This exacerbates the mental stresses associated with unemployment, adding to other health worries in the pandemic and further eroding older workers’ financial security. Unemployment has been more widespread among the oldest workers than among somewhat younger ones throughout much of the recession. From July to November 2020, the unemployment rate for workers 65 years old and older averaged 7.1%, compared to 6.7% for workers 55 to 64 years old and 6.3% for workers 45 to 54 years old. Typically, unemployment rates decline with age for mid-to-late career workers. This is the first recession where older workers experience higher unemployment rates than somewhat younger workers. Unemployment has always posed a unique challenge for older workers, but this problem is more widespread in this recession than in previous ones. Tune in and learn how to scratch your way back to relevance at old age!