Strong Men In God

This is a big question for many members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.But, it's the wrong question.Today I'm joined by Daniel Burgess, DanielABurgess.com, a Marriage and Family Therapist and member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.We review some of the Church's teachings about sexuality and masturbation over time, which Daniel has studied extensively and reported about on his website.But, in our personal work and work with clients, we've discovered that the question "is masturbation a sin" leads you down the wrong path.Learn the better questions to ask in today's episode.Summary:-The question “is masturbation a sin” reflects rigid, black or white and somewhat immature thinking-The better questions to ask are “how do I want to use my sexuality?” and “is this thinking and behavior drawing me closer to God and my wife, or pulling me away?”-The law of chastity and scriptures do not specifically mention masturbation-Use personal revelation to see how masturbation fits (or doesn’t fit) into your life and marriageDr. MikeP.S. Watch for my new program, Essential Skills For A Happy Marriage, opening at the end of this month. Having a happy marriage isn’t a matter of chance, or even finding “the one.” It’s about learning to build trust, have fun, communicate clearly and enjoy great intimacy. And you’ll learn EXACTLY how to do that in this course. Watch for the course in 2 weeks. If you haven’t joined my email list yet, visit http://mikefraziermd.com to join so you can be notified when it opens. P.S. If you’d like to continue the journey with us, visit StrongMen.io and join our email list. You’ll receive exclusive updates, and you’ll be the first to know when our community programs and other opportunities open up. That’s StrongMen.io. I’ll see you there.

Most men think apologizing means saying “I’m sorry” and moving on.But that’s a big mistake.And it’s that attitude that will keep you “in the doghouse” and keep you from regaining your wife’s love and trust.Learn what an apology is, and the common mistakes men make when trying to apologize, in this episode.Watch on YouTube here.Summary:-An apology includes seeing what you did that hurt your wife, acknowledging her hurt, and doing deep work to change yourself from someone who would hurt his wife-Men will often not apologize at all, or get defensive-They will minimize what they did (that was a long time ago, it could have been worse)-They will get impatient and encourage their wife to “get over it” and “move forward”-They will ask their wife to trust them -They will make it about them instead of the hurt they caused their wifeIf you have done any of these, this episode will help you see why these are problems and how to change them.Dr. MikeP.S. Watch for my new program, Essential Skills For A Happy Marriage, opening at the end of this month. Having a happy marriage isn’t a matter of chance, or even finding “the one.” It’s about learning to build trust, have fun, communicate clearly and enjoy great intimacy. And you’ll learn EXACTLY how to do that in this course. Watch for the course in 2 weeks. If you haven’t joined my email list yet, visit http://mikefraziermd.com to join so you can be notified when it opens. P.S. If you’d like to continue the journey with us, visit StrongMen.io and join our email list. You’ll receive exclusive updates, and you’ll be the first to know when our community programs and other opportunities open up. That’s StrongMen.io. I’ll see you there.

Flirting can be one of the most fun things you can do in a relationship.But often, we forget to do it after we’ve been married a while.Or, we may have never been very good at it.In this episode, you’ll learn the principles and techniques of flirting with your wife.So you can bring fun, excitement and romance into your marriage.At the end of the day, flirting is about bringing PLAY back into your marriage.Watch on YouTube here. Summary:-An easy way to start is by giving sincere compliments and appreciation to your wife, especially in public-Communicate love and attraction through eye contact-Touch her and kiss her… WITHOUT groping her-Challenge each other to contests, add bets to make it extra fun-Accuse her of being too forward… playfully-Use artistic, creative activities to increase eros energyMikeP.S. If you’re a high achieving, professionally successful Christian man who wants more intimacy in his marriage…CLICK HERE to apply to join my Love, Intimacy And Legacy program.You’ll schedule a call and fill out an application that we’ll review on the call to see if you’re a good fit for the program. I look forward to speaking with you! P.S. If you’d like to continue the journey with us, visit StrongMen.io and join our email list. You’ll receive exclusive updates, and you’ll be the first to know when our community programs and other opportunities open up. That’s StrongMen.io. I’ll see you there.

Communication is the #1 problem that men, women and couples complain about.In working with people, I’ve discovered the top 5 communication mistakes that lead to poor communication (and poor connection) in marriage.If you can avoid these mistakes…And learn the #1 communication skill…You’ll be on your way to a happier, more passionate and more intimate marriage.Watch on YouTube here. https://youtu.be/o6v30cuJ8HcSummary:-The #1 goal to have in your communication is to DEEPLY understand your wife-If your goal is anything except that (at least to start), you WILL have communication problems-Common things that get in the way of understanding are assuming you know what the other person means, deciding they can’t be understood, deciding their opinion is stupid and trying to prove your point, stopping short of your goal, and losing your coolMikeP.S. At the end of this month, I’ll be opening up an 8 week course that will teach you all the Marriage Skills you need to create a happier, more passionate and more intimate marriage. The course will start on April 1st, and you’ll learn and implement 1 new marriage skill each week. Watch your email for more information, or join my email list here. P.S. If you’d like to continue the journey with us, visit StrongMen.io and join our email list. You’ll receive exclusive updates, and you’ll be the first to know when our community programs and other opportunities open up. That’s StrongMen.io. I’ll see you there.

The reason you’re not as connected to your wife as you’d like to be is because you’ve hurt her in some way.That might be an obvious way, like an affair.Or it may be a more subtle way, like neglecting her over time or serving her with “strings attached” (mosquito behaviors).Either way, you have created disconnection by hurting her.Most men try to fix this by trying to tell their wife they’re sorry and to move forward.But that doesn’t work.Learn what DOES work in this episode.Watch on YouTube here. Summary:-After you hurt your wife, she is asking “can I trust him?” and “will he hurt me again?”-She draws closer as the starts to believe she can trust you, then pulls away when she’s afraid you might hurt her again-Your job is to be consistent, trustworthy, manage your emotions, and communicate clearly (including the hard stuff)-If you were hurt, remember you can’t rush trust. It has to be earned. Be patient with yourself. Make appropriate requests and set appropriate boundaries-Consider coaching to help you through the processMikeP.S.  If you’re looking for marriage coaching, as an individual or a couple, I’d love to see if we’d be a good fit to work together. CLICK HERE to schedule a free 20 minute consult. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage, where you want to be, if I can help you get there, and about how long it will take to get there. CLICK HERE to schedule and we’ll talk soon! P.S. If you’d like to continue the journey with us, visit StrongMen.io and join our email list. You’ll receive exclusive updates, and you’ll be the first to know when our community programs and other opportunities open up. That’s StrongMen.io. I’ll see you there.

Are you married to a narcissist or a sadist?Probably.But so is your spouse!In this episode, you’ll learn what narcissism and sadism REALLY are…How YOU most likely have BOTH of these traits…And what to do about it.Watch on YouTube here. Summary:-Narcissism is needing to be “one up” on your spouse-It’s also understanding the emotions of others, but not really caring about them-Sadism is enjoying inflicting pain or suffering on other people-Usually takes the form of enjoying your spouse’s failures, or enjoying denying them what they want-Learn to see these traits in yourself, admit them and get feedback on them-As you notice them in others, call them out and act in a more useful wayMikeP.S. I hope you enjoyed today’s episode. If you did, please write a review on iTunes or wherever you are listening, and share this podcast with a friend, so we can create stronger men and stronger marriages across the world.And, if you’re ready to take your marriage to the next level, visit CLICK HERE to schedule a free 20 minute consult. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage, where you want to be, if I can help you get there and about how long it will take to get there.Whether you’re wanting to do the work on your own, or as a couple… if you’re ready to work hard and have fun doing it, I’d love to be your coach. CLICK HERE to schedule your consult and I’ll see you there. P.S. If you’d like to continue the journey with us, visit StrongMen.io and join our email list. You’ll receive exclusive updates, and you’ll be the first to know when our community programs and other opportunities open up. That’s StrongMen.io. I’ll see you there.

Love. A word that can mean SO many different things.And confusion about what kind of love belongs in marriage causes LOTS of marriage problems.In this episode we’ll discuss the 3 most valuable types of love in marriage…And how to develop them.Listen on Strong Men Strong Marriages here. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/strong-men-strong-marriages/id1513290707Watch on YouTube here. https://youtu.be/mlqgP2r9XTkSummary:-Agape, or unconditional love, belongs in marriage. BUT, your spouse can’t give it to you, and you can’t give it to your spouse. You need to get it from an infinite source.-Philia, or companionship love. This is essential for a great marriage. Committing to being great partners for each other for life.-Eros, or romantic, sexual love. What distinguishes marriage from other close, philia, relationships. -If you’re not getting the kind of love you want, make sure you’re offering it in an attractive way, then ask for what you want effectively, and choose what YOU will do if your request is not granted (set a boundary).MikeP.S. The Strong Man System as it currently exists, with lifetime access to support from me, will be offered for the LAST TIME this week. If a lifetime of Q&A with me and lifetime upgrades to the program are something you’re interested in, you’ll want to make sure to join by midnight on Saturday, February 13th (just in time for Valentine’s Day). CLICK HERE to join. P.S. If you’d like to continue the journey with us, visit StrongMen.io and join our email list. You’ll receive exclusive updates, and you’ll be the first to know when our community programs and other opportunities open up. That’s StrongMen.io. I’ll see you there.

Is your married sex life not quite what you’re hoping for?Is it happening less often than you’d like, or does it just seem the same all the time?If so, there are three simple steps that you can use to create better sex in your marriage.Learn about them in this week’s episode.Watch on YouTube here. Summary:-Take ownership of your own sexuality-Anticipation is your friend-Connect minds and bodies-Focus on pleasure and connection instead of orgasm (especially if either of you has difficulty with orgasm)MikeP.S. If you are ready to take your life and marriage to greater joy and intimacy, I’d love to be your coach to help you get there. You can join us in The Strong Man System, or we can work together 1 on 1 (as an individual or as a couple). CLICK HERE to find out how.  P.S. If you’d like to continue the journey with us, visit StrongMen.io and join our email list. You’ll receive exclusive updates, and you’ll be the first to know when our community programs and other opportunities open up. That’s StrongMen.io. I’ll see you there.

“Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Matthew 6:21What is most important to you?You might say it’s God or your family…But what do you spend the most time THINKING about?When I looked closely, I didn’t like what I found.I spent most of my time thinking about:Making moneyMyselfBut, I found that I could CHOOSE where my treasure was.And I decided to make that treasure my relationships with others.I even created a Google Drive folder called “My Treasure” where I am keeping important information about the people in my life, and taking hours to really talk with them and fill out the “maps” of them.These “maps” are going to be my treasure from here on out. And it feels great.Watch on YouTube here. Summary:-Step 1: Find your treasure. What are you spending the most time thinking about?-Step 2: Choose your treasure. What do you want to value most?-Step 3: Spend time building up that treasureMikeP.S. If you are ready to take your life and marriage to greater joy and intimacy, I’d love to be your coach to help you get there. You can join us in The Strong Man System, or we can work together 1 on 1 (as an individual or as a couple). CLICK HERE to find out how. P.S. If you’d like to continue the journey with us, visit StrongMen.io and join our email list. You’ll receive exclusive updates, and you’ll be the first to know when our community programs and other opportunities open up. That’s StrongMen.io. I’ll see you there.

We are always manipulating the people around us.We want something FROM them…Or FOR them.We want to “move” them into certain positions.Emotional dependence on us or emotional resilience.Sexual obligation or sexual choice.Religious obligation or religious choice.This week I got an in-depth view of how I manipulate my wife, kids and friends… and I didn’t like what I saw.I took the time to INTENTIONALLY decide how I was going to try to move (manipulate) the people around me.And the results are already SO much better.Watch on YouTube here.Summary:-An outside perspective is INVALUABLE to finding your negative patterns-Find your “old moves” and intentionally choose “new moves” for the important people in your life-Use mapping as a way to more deeply understand and connect with the important people in your life-The book Brain Talk by David Schnarch can help you through this process. You can get it on Amazon here.MikeP.S. If you are ready to create an incredibly intimate marriage… whether your wife is wanting to work on the marriage or not… come join us in The Strong Man System. You’ll have the best relationship you have EVER had with your wife… in 90 days or less… or you’ll get your investment back. Make today one of the best days of your life. CLICK HERE to join. P.S. If you’d like to continue the journey with us, visit StrongMen.io and join our email list. You’ll receive exclusive updates, and you’ll be the first to know when our community programs and other opportunities open up. That’s StrongMen.io. I’ll see you there.