The Mark Groves Podcast

I am proud to call Erin Skye Kelly a true friend, mentor, and all around boss. Not only has she totally transformed my world, but she has done the same for countless others, and most importantly herself too. In this episode we dive right into the power of our own choices, we go deep into my current heartbreak, and we unpack the process by which Erin ended the toxic relationship with her family of origin. This is such an important topic for so many people who struggle with difficult or abusive parents. There is so much to learn about the power of boundaries and choices to shape our future. ~  Discover: Why we can take in wisdom but don't change Class 1, 2, 3 experiences and how they will change your life The roadmap to a Class 1 life When do you know you are forcing something vs. doing the work Expectations vs. standards What are we trying to avoid? Resentment shows you where you aren't prioritizing yourself How to have boundaries with toxic family relationships Breaking the branch off the family tree to regrow a new one Join Erin Skye Kelly here! Listen to the podcast on silence we were discussing called Gangaji here! Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Dr Nicole LePera @the.holistic.psychologist is truly a game changer in the world of psychology and mental wellness. I was so honoured to join her and discuss her very personal journey into becoming the holistic psychologist and her movement for self-healing. Dr LePera opens up with us on her own childhood, her working through familial enmeshment and codependency, and her foundational practices for self care that are so crucial for every one of us. It is a truly courageous journey to confront the harm we may face within our own family unit, and to break free from bonds that may feel impossible to change. I hope that for anyone who is struggling with difficult or enmeshed family patterns, the wisdom of Dr LePera gives you renewed hope for a future of freedom to be your true self. ~ Discover: Anxiety, psychology, gut health, trauma and the connection to our nervous system How patterns in family can be passed down Our subconscious mind runs the show (95%!) Why we need to look at the imbalances in our gut Why food, sleep and circadian rhythm affects your nervous system What is over-activation of the nervous system Why we as humans have become dysregulated How to build your mental muscle Tools to shift your mind when life hits you What is emotional addiction? What are your edges? Ending family enmeshment Find more of The Holistic Psychologists resources Here! Find The Holistic Psychologist YouTube Here! Dr. Nicole LePera was trained in clinical psychology at Cornell University and the New School. She is a holistic psychologist who founded the Mindful Healing Center in Philadelphia. Her work addresses the connection between the mind and body and incorporates nutrition, lifestyle and psychological wellness practices. She is the creator of the movement #selfhealers where people from around the world are joining together in community to take healing into their own hands.  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

My good friend Dr Jeremy Goldberg @longdistancelovebombs has joined me this week to dive deep into heartbreak. We both open up about our past experiences of breakups and heartbreak, we go all the way back to our childhoods and early experiences. We explore how our conceptions of love and heartbreak have radically transformed as we have both done our work as adults over the years. This was such a healing and loving episode for me, where we both explored our pain and held space for each other. I really hope this episode helps you in having compassion for your own heartbreaks too. ~ Discover: Why we need to have tea with our rock bottom There is a fundamental aliveness to feeling anything deeply Grief is a powerful opportunity to get curious We get to choose who we want to be in the face of pain Sometimes choosing love means choosing yourself When you face heartbreak, who are you? Don't shame the part of you that woke you up Your greatest lesson is your greatest opportunity Don't overlook the value of play Where we find ourselves again Find out more about the Breakup Recovery Special Live Call Offer here! Find out more about Dr Jeremy Goldberg here! Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Maya Angelou famously said that ‘love liberates, it doesn’t bind’. My relationship coming to a close is not a failing, a giving up, or a problem to be solved. In this episode I want to refocus on what is important - the victory isn’t the relationship lasting - the victory is in the process of who you become along the way. And through this process I have been fully liberated, to being all of myself, to loving, and to living all out with no holds barred. This is exactly the delicious, messy, complex journey that I love, that is life. After spending some time connecting to the universe and self, I am surrendering to letting life move through me, I am turning towards it all. I hope that this episode will invite you to do the same. ~  Discover: The beauty of relationships ending What gifts you find in the challenges Relationships are mirrors for our own up-leveling We show up differently when we feel worthy of being chosen The difference between compassion and tolerance Where addiction comes from and what it means The beauty of contrast Join my special Breakup Recovery Live Here! Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Every single human has surely suffered with feeling invalidated for their emotions. Author of ’It’s Not Always Depression’ and psychotherapist, Hilary Jacobs Hendel joined us to explore her ground-breaking work on emotions. Many of us have never really learned the true anatomy of our emotions. As Hilary explains, we can build our lives around avoiding the true feeling of our emotions. For many of us our early experiences with emotions involved us being told to ‘get over it’ in one way or another. Fully embracing emotions like anger and hurt means going against our conditioning, and some of these emotions seem downright scary. Could we end up lashing out in rage? Or could embracing our pain actually open the pathway toward calm, composure and compassion? Hilary walks us through the model she uses that allows people to experience - often for the first time in their lives - how to fully feel a feeling, and the freedom that this experiences offers us. 1.30 mins - Introduction to the Break up Recovery course. 4 mins - Introduction to Hilary Jacobs Hendel. 6 mins - Emotions are involuntary physical responses, we cannot just ‘get over them’. 9 mins - What are positive emotions - expansive experiences, what does it feel like to allow them to arise? 14 mins - “It runs in the family” the narrative of inherited patterns. 18 mins - What is anxiety and how does it exist within the body? 22 mins - Understanding the change triangle and the impact of shame. 29 mins - Experiencing the full emotional wave, the emotional experience of anger. 39 mins - Moving though childhood trauma. 47 mins - How do we know if we have suppressed core emotions? 54 mins - I feel therefore I am. 1hr 3mins - Working through other peoples emotions. 1hr 18mins - Free resources from Hilary Jacobs Hendel. Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, takes the complex world of emotions and makes them easy to understand for all. She is author of the award-winning self-help book on emotions called, It’s Not Always Depression: Working the Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to Your Authentic Self (Random House, 2018). She is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor. She has published articles in The New York Times, TIME, Oprah, Salon, and professional journals. Hendel also consulted on the psychological development of characters on AMC’s Mad Men. Hilary’s blog on emotions and how to use them for wellbeing is read worldwide. For more FREE resources on emotions and emotional health, visit: Hilaryjacobshendel.com Find out more about the Change Triangle Here It's Not Always Depression by Hilary Jacobs Hendel Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

This game-changing episode will entirely change the way you look at mental health. Dr Kelly Brogan is a psychiatrist and a New York Times bestselling author who has walked the path of integrative and holistic health. While being trained as a psychiatrist, Dr Brogan was a staunch supporter of the pharmaceutical model for symptom suppression. After her own illness and resultant awakening, Dr Brogan entirely changed her clinical practice. Dr Brogan describes the “bait and switch” trap of the medical system, capturing highly sensitive people with medications that often turn situational pain into chronic illness. She argues that rather than suppressing our symptoms we can learn what they are here to teach us, we can see our vulnerability as a gift rather than a curse. Far from being trapped, we are emerging into a zeitgeist of reparenting and unconditional love for self. Dr Brogan describes the joy of liberation from darkness and the power in self care. We can all liberate ourselves to life and Dr Brogan walks us through the model she uses to heal all kinds of illness. 1 min - Introduction from Mark, Dr. Kelly Brogan’s book, psychological science, pharmaceuticals, and all of their interconnectedness. 7 mins - Dr. Kelly Brogan’s introduction. 9 mins - Dr. Kelly Brogan’s background in psychiatry, her journey to integrative and holistic psychiatry. Realising that as a clinician nobody was ever encouraged to investigate the root causes of presenting symptoms. 13 mins - The story we tell ourselves about our mental health, we cannot win the war against ourselves. 18 mins - Doctor induced harm and the impact of medication on making symptoms chronic. The role of habit forming chemicals. Why psychiatrists would remain defensive of a school of thought they’ve invested hundreds of thousands of dollars in learning. 23 mins - The risks of medications emerging in recent research, the benefit of medications going to only 18% of patients. 28 mins - Working with vulnerability rather than against it. Self discovery vs symptom suppression. The bait and switch, capturing highly sensitive people within the system. 32 mins - Beginning to relate to pain as a source of power rather than weakness. The joy of liberation from darkness and secrecy. The power of self care and self liberation. 46 mins - The chemical imbalance theory of mental health and the shift away from it. How to turn off the alarm bells that activate the flight, fight, freeze. 57 mins - Making the decision to heal from the root. Making the decision to end the suffering. 1.05 mins - Dr Brogan’s model for self healing, the common types of illness and the model for healing these. Changing mentality and the resultant shift in your life.\ Kelly Brogan, M.D., is a holistic health psychiatrist, author of the New York Times bestselling book, A Mind of Your Own, and the children’s book, A Time for Rain, and co-editor of the landmark textbook, Integrative Therapies for Depression. She completed her psychiatric training and fellowship at NYU Medical Center after graduating from Cornell University Medical College and has a B.S. from M.I.T. in Systems Neuroscience. She is board-certified in psychiatry, psychosomatic medicine, and integrative holistic medicine and is specialized in a root-cause resolution approach to psychiatric syndromes and symptoms. She is a certified KRI Kundalini Yoga teacher and a mother of two. Preorder Dr Kelly Brogan's newest book 'Own Your Self' Here! Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Anger is one of the most powerful emotions, it can change lives and change the world. But it can also become incredibly destructive. Alistair Moes (Angerman) is an expert on all things anger. In this episode we delve into what anger means, what it looks like and feels like and how we can use it in healthy ways to deepen our connections with self and others. 1 min - Intro from Mark - the difficulty in engaging with our anger. 3 mins - The breakup recovery course. 4 mins - Intro to Alistair Moes - what happens when we don’t express anger? 6 mins - The link between our gut health and our anger. 11 mins - Alistair’s own experience with boundaries in childhood. 20 mins - Identifying where you are repressing emotions. 28 mins - The power of listening and witnessing your partner. 41 mins - The power in choosing to have hard conversations. 49 mins - The connection between rage and grief. 56 mins - How to engage with your anger, using resources to learn about anger. Alistair Moes (Angerman) is an International Anger Management Expert and Author, who has been working professionally as a counsellor/educator since 1989 and as an anger management specialist in private practice since 1995. Alistair has worked with those who have enormous challenges in the world: from high performance business leaders, gold medal winning Olympic and professional athletes and coaches people that are close to homeless. Anger is an equal opportunity emotion. Alistair has developed a manner of working, which is respectful, solution-focussed and based on both academic theory and extensive experience. This experience includes working with trauma, and historic abuse in a manner that honours each person and allows for deep healing.  Find Angerman on Instagram here and more resources here Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Do you know what traumas happened to your grandparents, or great-grandparents? Do you know how those traumas might be impacting on your patterns or triggers today? My guest this week is one of the world’s leading experts in the field of intergenerational trauma. Mark Wolynn not only shares his research and understandings of the field, but also his own story and the stories of some of his clients in understanding their inherited traumas. I was completely mindblown by this episode, whether you know your family history or not, you absolutely must not miss this conversation. Episode Highlights: 3 mins - Intro to Mark Wolynn and family trauma. 5 mins - How major life events or triggers can relate to experiences of previous generations. 11 mins - Are we ‘wired this way’ or have we inherited our patterns? 13 mins - How we can understand the nature of epigenetics through research on mice. 20 mins - Why do we repeat our traumas? 24 mins - The story of Sarah and her grandparents trauma. 32 mins - The ‘family tree’ and who the family system includes beyond biological family members. 37 mins - Opening up the possibility of our ‘work’ being beyond just our individual experiences, how our ‘remembrances’ live in our body. 40 mins - Mark Wolynn’s story of his own inherited traumas. 43 mins - Recoding or rewiring our stress responses. 48 mins - Mark Wolynn’s workshops and resources. Episode Notes: Mark Wolynn (accent on second syllable) is the director of the Family Constellation Institute in San Francisco. He is a leading expert in the field of inherited family trauma. His book It Didn't Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle is the winner of the 2016 Nautilus Book Award in psychology, and has been translated into 17 languages. His articles have appeared in Psychology Today, Mind Body Green, MariaShriver.com, Elephant Journal and Psych Central, and his poetry has been published in The New Yorker.  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

These personal special episodes have been truly cathartic for me in uncovering the vulnerable, raw emotions that I would have once repressed. In this episode I explore attachment styles, our needs and boundaries. For those of us with anxious attachment patterns, we often give up parts of ourselves in order to stay in relationship. But this doesn’t have to be our destiny, by connecting with our truth we have the power to rewrite our story completely. 1 min - The power of sharing and not repressing emotion. 5 mins - Having compassion for ourselves. 7 mins - Attachment styles and the research behind them. 14 mins - 10 seconds of courage to make a change in your life. 18 mins - If you have resentment, you have bad boundaries. 22 mins - What we do when we’re afraid of love. 27 mins - What is a breakup here to teach us? 29 mins - The breakup recovery course. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Many of us assume that we automatically feel our feelings, but unfortunately it’s not that simple. There are so many ways society encourages us to deny, avoid and repress emotions. Megan Jane Soutar is a self healing guide who I have had the honor of knowing as a friend and client for many years. As Megan describes in our interview, her transformation has taken her from someone who numbed emotion, to someone who intellectualized emotion, then finally to someone who could FEEL their emotions, fully. And in this transformation Megan has come to working with others in truly feeling their feelings too.  Episode Highlights: 1 min - Marks introduction, dealing with hard emotions. 6 mins - Introduction to Megan Souter and her role as a self healing guide. 15 mins - Numbing emotions instead of feeling them. 17 mins - Megan’s experience of depression in childhood and living with mental illness within the family. 21 mins - Living within a disruptive household. 27 mins - Intellectualizing emotions to avoid feeling them. 31 mins - The safety to have your own experience and emotions. 39 mins - Megan’s experience of bullying throughout school. 46 mins - Living at your highest level of integrity.  50 mins - Dealing with major life changes and coming off of medications. 59 mins - How Megan is using her story in her life and work today. 1hr 7 mins - Shaming our feelings. 1hr 18 mins - Stepping out of the story we have been assigned. Episode Links: Megan Jane Souter Megan's Instagram   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands