The Mark Groves Podcast

Themes: Childhood Wounds, Family Systems, People-Pleasing, Relationships, Self-Worth Summary:  I think it’s safe to say that none of us had a perfect childhood, and we all carry around behaviours and unhealed pain that doesn’t serve us. But it doesn’t have to be that way: our past may have created our patterns, but we can change them with some self-awareness and the right tools. Join my bestie Vienna Pharaon and me as we dive into understanding and overcoming wounds from our Family of Origin, so you can move beyond your frustrating patterns in life and love and into a more liberated way of being. Vienna is a licensed marriage and family therapist and one of New York City’s most sought-after relationship therapists. She has practiced therapy for more than fifteen years and is the founder and owner of the group practice Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy. Her first book, The Origins of You, hits shelves on February 21st, 2023. Discover: How unhealed pain or “wounds” from our Family of Origin manifest in our adult behaviours Why it’s so difficult to hold the paradox of being both disappointed with and grateful for our upbringing Five common “origin wounds” and how they show up in our adult lives How to identify and start to heal the origin wounds that hold you back 00:00 Intro  02:10 How childhood wounds impact us today 13:57 You don’t need to have a traumatic childhood to have wounds 18:19 Being both disappointed with and grateful for aspects of your upbringing 29:23 Examples of origin wounds  32:35 The belonging wound 36:53 The prioritization wound 45:15 Safety and trust wounds 55:42 How to begin healing  Links: Website | viennapharaon.com Instagram | @mindfulmft Book | The Origins of You 6 Week LIVE Coaching Experience with Vienna Sponsors: Cozy Earth | Use code GROVES for 40% off sitewide at cozyearth.com Open | Try Open for 30 days free! Go to withopen.com/createthelove and use code CREATETHELOVE to sign up Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Themes: Career, Purpose, Media, Divorce, Breakups, Parenting Summary:  This week I’m honoured to welcome the master mechanic himself, Ant Anstead, to the show. Ant and I met serendipitously a few years back when he took my Breakup Recovery Course, and I’ve been blessed to call him a friend ever since. Ant is the CEO and co-founder of Radford Motors and is responsible for overseeing the build process of every single bespoke, hand-made vehicle to meet exacting customer specifications. For many years, Ant built bespoke cars for elite clients and collectors all over the world and is best known for hosting car-centric television shows such as Celebrity IOU: Joyride, Radford Returns, For the Love of Cars and Wheeler Dealers, the number one most distributed show on The Discovery Channel.  Join us as we chat about Ant’s career journey, life (and divorce) in the public eye, parenthood, and more. Discover: How Ant transitioned from being a police officer to playing football to building cars How he turned his passion for cars into a career His journey into television How he deals with the media, clickbait and life in the public eye Ant’s perspective on parenting in the social media generation and his top advice for fathers 00:00 Intro  02:31 Ant’s police career 11:13 Flipping and building cars 16:05 Turning your passion into a career 21:19 Starring on a television show 27:27 Being in the public eye 31:34 Clickbait & the media 35:02 Getting hate for hosting Wheeler Dealers 43:01 Social media trolls 47:30 Divorce 54:50 Fatherhood 1:03:55 Upcoming works 1:06:48 Radford Racing School 1:12:29 Mark as a father-to-be Links: Website | ant-anstead.com + radford.co Instagram | @ant_anstead + @radfordmotors Sponsors: Cozy Earth | Use code GROVES for 40% off sitewide at cozyearth.com Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Themes: Boundaries, Regret, Awareness, Appreciation, Self-Love, Victim Mentality, Community Summary:  Today I’m comin’ at ya with a short but sweet solo episode and sharing some things I’ve read lately that have blown my mind and brought some newfound awareness to my behaviour. I hope sharing these reflections offers insight into your own circumstances, behaviours and ways of being in the world so we can all move together towards creating a more loving, open, boundaried and secure space! Discover: Boundaries: how they’re medicine for both you and those around you Having reverence and appreciation for new awarenesses instead of feeling shame and regret for past decisions Saying no (and sitting in the discomfort of a no) in order to make space for your yes Appreciation for our parents and their struggles The grief of not having the village Creating what you crave 00:00 Intro  00:57 Boundaries 03:17 Awareness and regret 05:50 The tension of our no 08:42 Appreciating our parents 11:05 Medicalization of birth 13:29 Presence 16:49 Removing martyr energy Links: Join me on Mine’d! Sign up for my newsletter here Follow me on Substack here Instagram | @createthelove Facebook | @createthelove ReBloom: Archetypal Trauma Resolution For Personal & Collective Healing by Rachael Maddox The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief by Francis Weller Sponsors: Cured Nutrition | Use code CREATETHELOVE for 20% off all products at curednutrition.com/createthelove Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Themes: Grief, Loss, Transformation, Resilience, Anger Summary:  Today I’m chatting with Dr. Neeta Bhushan, a world-renowned emotional health advocate and expert in the areas of grit and resilience. In this episode, we talk about her new book That Sucked. Now What?: How to Embrace the Joy in Chaos and Find Magic in the Mess, embracing the suck, and how to get back up after life inevitably knocks us down. Neeta has shared her thought leadership on international stages, is the host of her popular podcast The Brave Table, and has authored best-selling books such as Emotional GRIT: 8 Steps to Master Your Emotions, Transform Your Thoughts, and Change Your World. She’s also been featured on Forbes, Entrepreneur, NBC, Verve, Tatler Magazine and more. Talk about a powerhouse! Discover: The stoic practice of Amor Fati and how it changed Neeta’s perspective on the hardships she experienced as a young woman Using the pain of a rock bottom as fuel for transformation Actionable tools for building resilience 00:00 Intro  01:09 Neeta’s story of loss and grief 13:30 Finding magic in the mess 18:00 Amor Fati 26:00 Moving beyond the suck 37:20 The pain of a breakup 39:18 Taking action 44:01 Validation  46:11 Integrating all parts of yourself  54:03 Big ignite vs. small ignite moments 56:25 Spend time with a child 1:02:25 Healthy anger Links: Website | neetabhushan.com Instagram | @neetabhushan Book | That Sucked, Now What? Podcast | The Brave Table Sponsors: Open | Try Open for 30 days free! Go to withopen.com/createthelove and use code CREATETHELOVE to sign up. Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Themes: Masculinity, Emotions, Vulnerability, Relationships, Men’s Work, Self-Worth, Purpose, Pornography Summary:  Today I’m chatting with one of my good friends, Connor Beaton. Connor is the founder of ManTalks, an international organization dedicated to men's wellness, success, and fulfillment. Connor is a coach, facilitator, teacher, podcast host, and speaker who helps men from all over the world find purpose, healthy love, a joy-filled life, and fulfilling sexual connection. His teachings draw from an in-depth apprenticeship in Jungian psychology, Gestalt, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, and both Buddhist and Taoist traditions.  Known for his no-nonsense approach and compassionate understanding of human limitations, Connor has coached thousands of men through private coaching, group work, workshops, retreats, and masterminds. He has also shared the stage with renowned speakers like Gary Vaynerchuk, Lewis Howes, and Danielle LaPorte. Tune in for a free-flowing conversation where we jam on the challenges men face today, masculinity, turning towards our pain, and his new book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide to Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, and Find Freedom. Discover: Our thoughts on why toxic masculinity manifests Why emotional suppression is so common for men in our culture today The healing that is being asked of men right now The value of an initiatory process as young men Why turning towards your pain is necessary in order to find freedom and be the man you want to be Why porn has become an addiction for many and its effect on relationships 00:00 Intro  04:12 The men’s movement 06:10 Emotionality in men 12:00 Toxic masculinity 16:28 Hurt people hurt people 25:41 Men and vulnerability 33:44 Healing the divide between men and women 49:09 Men’s work 54:42 A relationship with something bigger than yourself 59:20 “I don’t trust men…” 1:05:19 You don’t need to hit rock bottom to change 1:13:53 There’s more to it than vulnerability 1:22:51 What fulfilling relationships require 1:28:00 Being present 1:31:27 Pornography 1:42:49 Impact of pornography on relationships 1:46:18 Healing a porn addiction Links: Website | mantalks.com Instagram | @mantalks Book | Men's Work, A Practical Guide to Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, and Find Freedom Podcast | ManTalks Sponsors: Cozy Earth | Use code GROVES for 40% off sitewide at cozyearth.com Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Themes: Grief, Loss, Bereavement, Pain, Mental Health Summary:  Join me for a thoughtful conversation with Megan Devine: best-selling author, psychotherapist, and grief advocate. With over 20 years in the field - and deep personal experience of grief - she is the go-to authority for grievers, supporters, and industry professionals. Her pioneering work provides a professional, inclusive, and realistic approach to grief, one that goes beyond pathology-based, reductive models. If you’re currently feeling the deep pain of loss or are looking for ways to support someone who is, this episode is for you. Megan’s book It’s OK that You’re Not OK has sold over 250K copies and is available in 16 languages. New York magazine’s The Strategist named the book in their “Top 16 Grief Books Recommended by Psychologists in 2021.” Her animated short, “How to Help a Grieving Friend,” has been viewed over 70 million times and is used in training programs worldwide. She’s been published in Psychology Today, The New York Times, and The Washington Post and has served as a grief expert for major media outlets, including NPR, iHeartRadio, and the PBS documentary, Speaking Grief. Discover: Megan’s personal experience with grief What not to say to someone who is grieving and how to be truly supportive instead The problematic way society responds to pain and grief and how this contributes to rising loneliness, substance abuse and suicide rates Why looking for the silver lining in a painful experience, while well-intentioned, isn’t helpful 00:00 Intro  01:20 Megan’s story 07:09 How society responds to grief  09:11 You don’t need to find the silver lining 13:03 Movies modeling the happy ending 15:17 The fallacy of suffering as punishment 20:25 The “nobility” of suffering 24:33 The history of dealing with pain 31:21 How medicine handles grief 36:43 Timeline of grief 38:16 Why do we avoid sadness? 43:54 How to actually support someone who’s grieving 47:46 Expanding your idea of what grief is Links: Website | refugeingrief.com & megandevine.co Instagram | @refugeingrief Facebook | @refugeingrief Book | It’s OK That You’re Not OK Podcast | Here After with Megan Devine  Sponsors: LMNT | Get a FREE LMNT sample pack with any purchase at drinklmnt.com/createthelove Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Themes: Attachment Theory, Child Development, Trauma, the Mind-Body Connection, Authenticity, Boundaries, Illness, Health Summary:  It is such an honour to welcome renowned speaker and bestselling author Dr. Gabor Maté to the podcast this week. Dr. Maté is highly sought after for his expertise on various topics, including addiction, stress, and childhood development. He has written several bestselling books, including the award-winning In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction, When the Body Says No: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection, and Scattered: How Attention Deficit Disorder Originates and What You Can Do About It, and has coauthored Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers. His works have been published internationally in nearly thirty languages. In this illuminating episode, we discuss his incredible new book, The Myth of Normal, and how much of what we deem the norm in today’s culture is neither healthy nor natural. Join us as we explore a range of topics, including trauma and its effects, attachment theory, the mind-body connection, the cost of repressing emotions, and more. Discover: How much of what we deem ‘normal’ in today’s culture is neither healthy nor natural and is actually responsible for a lot of illness in both mind and body.  How to differentiate trauma from a stressful experience The impacts of trauma on mental and physical health and how normalized trauma is in our culture Why the medical system ignores the mind-body connection The cost of repressing your emotions and people-pleasing How to heal in the toxicity of modern culture 00:00 Intro  00:47 The Myth of Normal 03:26 The idea of normal 05:28 The toxicity of modern culture 09:38 How our childhood wounds show up in the present day 12:43 Trauma 17:16 Why medicine ignores the mind-body connection 23:46 When does an experience become trauma? 26:16 Importance of attuned caregivers 34:15 The cost of suppressing your emotions 39:00 The cost of people pleasing & no boundaries 43:42 Choosing your pain - authenticity vs. belonging 50:00 Exercises for self-understanding 55:00 Healing a toxic culture Links: Website | drgabormate.com & wholehearted.org Book | The Myth of Normal - Trauma, Illness, & Healing in a Toxic Culture Instagram | @gabormatemd Facebook | @drgabormate Twitter | @drgabormate Neurobiology and the Development of Human Morality by Dr. Darcia Narvaez The Evolved Nest: Natures Way of Raising Children and Creating Connected Communities by Dr. Darcia Narvaez Sponsors: Cured Nutrition | Use code CREATETHELOVE for 20% off all products at curednutrition.com/createthelove Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Themes: Parenting, Safetyism, Fragility, Resilience, Childhood Independence, Autonomy, Technology Summary:  After her newspaper column “Why I Let My 9-Year-Old Ride the Subway Alone” created a media firestorm, Lenore Skenazy got the nickname “America’s Worst Mom.” Nice. She went on to write Free-Range Kids, the book-turned-movement. (Second Edition just out!) She has been profiled in The New Yorker and lectured everywhere, from DreamWorks to Microsoft HQ to schools across America. On TV, you may have seen her on The Today Show, The Daily Show or her own reality show, World’s Worst Mom. Now Lenore is co-founder and president of Let Grow, the national nonprofit promoting childhood independence. I was struck by Lenore’s story, and as I step into fatherhood this year, I knew I had to have her on the podcast. Tune in to learn how parenting has changed over the past few decades, why safety has become a top priority for parents nowadays, and how unsupervised play and letting go a little are key in raising resilient, confident and independent children. Discover: Why Lenore let her nine-year-old son ride the subway alone in NYC Why the degree of independence and autonomy parents give their kids has changed drastically over the past couple of decades Safetyism: what it is and how it contributes to fragility in our kids The massive benefits of unsupervised play & tech-free play Why tracking your kids erodes trust and can actually cause more harm than good How to overcome parental anxiety 00:00 Intro 00:31 Parenting then vs. now 03:00 Letting her son ride the subway alone 06:43 Why are we so afraid for our kids? 10:52 The problem with prioritizing safety 24:09 Tech-free play 37:23 Why keeping kids safe has become a top priority 44:00 Is tracking your kids worth it? 51:21 How to overcome parental anxiety Links: Website | letgrow.org Book | Free-Range Kids: How Parents and Teachers Can Let Go and Let Grow Twitter | @freerangekids Facebook | Raising Independent Kids The Coddling of the American Mind Sponsors: Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Themes: Virtuosity, Self-Love, Self-Awareness, Virtue Signaling, Cancel Culture, Transformation, Boundaries, Forgiveness, Narcissism Summary:  Back for the second time is my good friend, Danielle Laporte. Danielle is an author, speaker, podcaster and a member of Oprah’s SuperSoul 100, a group who, in Oprah Winfrey’s words, “is uniquely connecting the world together with a spiritual energy that matters.” In this episode, Danielle and I chat about allll the things, including true, embodied virtuosity, virtue signaling, cancel culture, boundaries, narcissism and how to be loving in a world that’s waking up. Danielle is the author of The Fire Starter Sessions, The Desire Map, White Hot Truth, and producer of dozens of meditation kits and online programs for spiritual support. Her most recent book, How To Be Loving…when your heart is breaking open and the world is waking up, is also an Audiobook + ebook, with a companion deck and journal. Danielle is the creator of the Heart Centered Membership and the Heart Centered Leadership Program with 400+ leaders in 30 countries hosting conversation circles, retreats, and workshops in all kinds of communities and businesses. Her podcast, With Love, Danielle, often ranks in iTunes’ top 10 for wellness. Most of her offerings—from the Heart Centered Membership to her online classes—are on a pay what you choose basis. Named one of the Top 100 Websites for Women by Forbes, millions of people a month visit DanielleLaPorte.com. Discover: Having reverence for your shadow and the parts of yourself you dislike Our thoughts on virtue signaling and what it truly means to be virtuous The absurdity of cancel culture A theory on why there’s tyranny and evil in the world Setting boundaries from a loving and healed place Forgiving yourself and others (even if you feel like they’re unforgivable) Things to reflect on if you’ve been with a narcissist 00:00 Intro   03:45 The turning point in Danielle’s work  07:51 Loving what you hate about yourself 11:52 Psychological virtue 15:04 Virtue signaling 22:08 Cancel culture 27:07 Theory about tyranny 31:57 How To Be Loving 37:59 Boundaries 43:18 Forgiving the unforgivable 46:27 Narcissism 48:28 Overidentification 51:22 Becoming radiant Links: Website | daniellelaporte.com Instagram | @daniellelaporte Book | How To Be Loving... when your heart is breaking open and the world is waking up Podcast | With Love, Danielle Sponsors: LMNT | LMNT is a tasty electrolyte drink mix that replaces vital electrolytes without sugars and dodgy ingredients found in conventional sports drinks. Get a FREE LMNT Sample Pack with any purchase at drinklmnt.com/createthelove Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Themes: Health, Relationships, Boundaries, Mental Health, Nutrition, Gut-Brain Axis Summary:  Is there a connection between the foods we eat and how we feel? How does the quality of our relationships and our boundaries (or lack thereof) impact our gut health? Does trauma affect the microbiome? In this episode, I’m chatting with leading functional-medicine expert Dr. Will Cole to explore the connection between our relationships, the food we eat, and our overall mental and physical health.  Dr. Cole consults people around the globe and started one of the first functional medicine telehealth centers in the world over a decade ago. Named one of the top 50 functional and integrative doctors in the nation, he specializes in clinically investigating underlying factors of chronic disease and customizing a functional medicine approach for thyroid issues, autoimmune conditions, hormonal imbalances, digestive disorders, and brain problems. Dr. Will is also the host of the popular The Art Of Being Well podcast and was the co-host of Gwyneth Paltrow's lifestyle brand goop's first spinoff podcast, the goopfellas podcast. He is the bestselling author of Ketotarian, The Inflammation Spectrum, and the New York Times bestseller Intuitive Fasting. His upcoming book, Gut Feelings, will hit shelves in March 2023. Discover: How our relationships influence our physical health The gut-brain axis and how the foods we eat impact our mental health How trauma affects gut health Why we’re seeing an explosion of mental health issues and autoimmune diseases right now Four inflammatory foods to avoid for optimal health (plus what to eat more of) One thing to cut out of your diet if you want to move the needle 00:00 Intro 00:24 How do our relationships impact our health? 02:26 Boundaries are medicine 04:10 The gut-brain axis 07:14 The food & mood connection 09:08 Taking inventory in all areas of our lives 12:37 How trauma impacts the gut 17:06 The explosion of mental health issues and autoimmune diseases 18:52 The parallels between our internal and external world 21:45 Glyphosate  23:17 Effecting change as consumers 33:25 The four core inflammatory foods 35:23 What to eat more of 36:12 The problem with seed oils 38:37 The truth about fat & cholesterol 46:33 Healthy fats 49:19 Cut this food out to move the needle Links: Website | drwillcole.com Instagram | @drwillcole Podcast | The Art of Being Well with Dr. Will Cole Book | Gut Feelings by Dr. Will Cole Sponsors: Organifi | Use code CREATETHELOVE for 20% off sitewide at organifi.com/createthelove Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands