Let's Parent on Purpose: Christian Marriage, Parenting, and Discipleship

Today I’m going to cover the concept of considering others before yourself. For something that sounds so simple to say, it can be one of the hardest practices to master in life. It’s also my second topic in my survival series where I cover the core principles that your child needs to master before leaving your home. If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email. Show Highlights It may seem counterintuitive, but considering others before yourself may be the best survival strategy there is and something important to instill in your children. Think back to when you were younger. We all have experiences of being too afraid to stand up for kids being bullied. Sometimes we’re not mean, but we wouldn’t put ourselves out there for people we can’t gain from. Talking with your kids about it in the first person, based on examples from your own life, makes it very relatable. We naturally put a lot of effort into self preservation. We associate based on perceived status. If someone has money, looks, connections, and we think associating with them is going to get us ahead, we tend to overlook major character issues in their life and major warning signs. We want to associate ourselves with them whether they are of quality character or not. We distance ourselves from potential threats – not just people who will directly hurt or harm us, but also people who by association will get us laughed at or made fun of. They may be good people, but we will not come to their defense publicly. We make the mistake of self-promotion instead of genuine self-sacrifice. In our social media obsessed world, we tend to post our good deeds online. Will you still do good deeds even if no one knows about them? If it’s just a matter of evolution, survival of the fittest, this would work. However, our faith in the teachings of Jesus commands us to do the opposite – to not self-preserve, but to look out for those around us, to count out others more significant than ourselves. Life others up, humble yourself, because God will lift you up. If your faith is true: Be united in your outlook. Be others-first in your actions. Be Christian in your attitudes. Model how Jesus put others before him. Teach your kids to think about what they are doing and how it affects others. In your own house, leaving dishes in the sink, leaving toys out, leaving your chores undone are examples of not considering others. It’s not just laziness, but selfishness, but not thinking of the other person. Point your children towards Christ. One of the ways you show that you belong to Jesus is by being considerate and thinking of others more than yourself. Character is revealed not by what we do when everybody’s looking, not by what we do when there’s rewards, not by what we do when we’re going to advance because of it, but by what you do to the people from whom you have nothing to gain. It’s a simple concept, but one that is so powerful that it will transform your life and the life of your children. Giving your life away is the greatest survival strategy that you could possibly have. Resources Mentioned Things for Thursday: Text THINGS to 66866

When your child has graduated and now they’re out of your house, sitting on their bed in their dorm room or apartment, what are the key principles that you pray are driven deep into their soul? Today, I’m going to begin a series that 12 most important principles that will help our children go beyond survival and thrive in a turbulent world. If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email. Show Highlights One major core principle your children should possess is knowing how to make meaningful friendships. Help them understand that our friends determine the direction and quality of our lives. We naturally walk, talk, dress, and think like the people we are with most often. Sometimes it’s healthy to step back and get some perspective. Ask your kids to reflect on the question: Do I like the composite of who they are becoming? Because that’s who I’m becoming. Finding a church community that is vibrant and really supports your child could light their life on fire. Without spiritual friendships, you’ll realize how lonely it could be. As it says in the Bible, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” Talk to your children about the warning signs of people they may want to avoid. MADGAS, inspired by Proverbs 20, is an acronym that helps identify toxic friendships and relationships that can end up ruining your child’s life. Manipulator – These are people who are good at getting you to do what you shouldn’t and don’t want to do by guilting or shaming you. As parents, also make sure that you’re not being a manipulator to your child. Addict – Addiction destroys humanity. It destroys those who might have once been caring, loving, and generous. Addicts become incredibly self-centered and other become commodities to them. Continue to have conversations with your children about substance abuse in terms of the destructive outcomes it can bring about. Deceiver – These are the liars, those who are not trustworthy. Help your children understand that if they will lie to other people, they will probably lie to you. Lying breaks relationships. Gossip – There are people who feel better about themselves by tearing everybody down. If they gossip with you, they will gossip about you. As a parent, make sure that you aren’t gossiping in front of your child as well. Arguer – The arguer is more concerned with appearing right than they are the people around them. They are a big drain on energy. Slug – People who have a poor work ethic and just sit around and wait for everybody to serve them. Be mindful if you are carrying the load in the relationship. Avoid MADGAS and avoid being them as well. If your child identifies these toxic relationships among their friends, there are two things they can do: Diversify. You don’t need to be around the same people all the time. Dilute. Add new people to your friendship group to change the dynamic of the group. On the other hand, JETPACKs will launch you and uplift you. This stands for people who are: Joyful, Encourager, Trustworthy, Peacemaker, Active, Christ-centered, Kingdom-minded. Encourage your children to be the kind of friend that they want. Be a blessing to others. Resources Mentioned Things for Thursday: Text THINGS to 66866 Free Audio Books: freeaudibletrial.com/letsparentonpurpose Book: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

The concept of discipling our children can sound very intimidating. There’s no end to the volumes of books and programs that have been created to help us make disciples. But sometimes all the books and programs bring confusion rather than clarity. As I think through the discipleship of my own children, I begin to think of how Jesus made disciples. My brainstorm quickly grew to a list of 25 ways that Jesus made disciples. Ironically, the larger the list grew, the more encouraged I was. I want to share it with you, because it will help you realize that You are in a better position to disciple your children than anyone else in the world. You’re already doing most of the things Jesus did to make disciples. If you’re interested in support Let’s Parent On Purpose as it reaches moms and dads around the world, consider joining our Patreon Support Community If you’d like help with changing the conversations in your household, text the word THINGS to 66866 to get a copy of my Fun Family Conversations Ebook! As promised on this podcast episode, here’s my list of 25 ways that Jesus made disciples: How did Jesus disciple people? Spend a lot of time with them over several years Slept in the same places where they sleep Ate with them Let them see His personal walk with God Went to celebrations with them Went on walks with them Told them stories Worked and played together Encouraged them when they did well Confronted them when they were going the wrong way Showed patience with them when they just weren’t strong enough Showed weakness in front of them and let them help him Asked them a lot of questions Gave them tasks that were beyond anything they had done to that point Went to religious meetings with them Read scripture with them and discussed its meaning Served other people with them Talked about the things of God in informal times Showed them how to do things Let them do things that He was better at than them Showed his full range of emotions around them Prayed for and with them Laid down His life for them Preached the gospel to them Empowered them to carry the word and work of God into the world Look at that list. You’re already doing many of these! And it wouldn’t take much effort to add some of the others. Discipleship is Life on Life. Keep on discipling your children, and take joy in the journey!

Raising a child as a single parent has to be one of the most difficult things you can do on this earth. Whether you’re a single parent right now or whether you’re in a  married relationship, I encourage you to listen to this podcast because you’re going to be encouraged, you’re going to be challenged and convicted as I talk with my friend Marissa Morris on the challenges and joys of single parenting.  If you’d like, you can read Marissa’s testimony HERE. If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email. Show Highlights Bringing up your children with a partner is difficult enough, but single parenting poses unique challenges that can be overcome with a little help from your community. Single mom Marissa Morris shares that, as she raises her son, she is acutely aware that the relationship between a husband and wife which is symbolic of the relationship between Christ and the Church is missing in her home. Still, she trusts that the Lord will equip her to fill in the gaps for her son and that He will provide godly men in her child’s life that will mentor him and show him what it means to be a godly man living with integrity and grace. As a single parent, you have to do everything – caring for your child, household duties, work. But, Marissa says it is vital to spend time with the Lord no matter how busy she is in a day. “I can’t be a parent that the Lord called me to be unless I’m actually spending time with the Lord.” Carve out time to fill your well up spending personal time with the Lord and make sure your children see that you are doing it. It’s not just something you do when you’re alone or your children are asleep. Our children need to see that the most important relationship we have is with the Lord. As a single parent, community is important. In Marissa’s experience, it helps to be actively involved in her faith community. They were the ones who walked her through good times and bad – from struggling with forgiveness and grace after giving birth, to being a huge support with advice as she raises her child. Involving yourself in classes and group activities might mean an investment of time and resources, but the future dividends will be far beyond what you spend for it. Being involved in a strong church community gives you the mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters that your child needs. Being a single parent doesn’t mean you have to raise your children alone. More than ever you need the family of God supporting you and your children. Resources Mentioned

This year I’m incorporating a new strategy to help bring accountability and focus to my days. I’m want to share it with you because if you’re like me, there are plenty of things in each of your days that are out of your control and I want to help you define a specific set of actions that you can control that can bring stability, focus, and perspective to your days. To save you some scrolling, if you’re looking for My Wife Emily’s Habit Tracker just click the link. If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I would like to thank my Patreon supporters for their support.  I use this money to outsource things I do not like to do or don’t know how to do, which is very helpful to me as I share the content of this podcast with all of you. Subscriptions and reviews matter on iTunes, and I thank you for those who have done so, particularly mpatrick0815 and rachel.beth and murray1919 and nzolo1. You sharing this podcast is the number one way for people to find it! I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Show Highlights At the beginning of each year, we love making resolutions and plans. I’m a heavy planner myself, but, as time goes by, I’ve realized that most of my plans don’t come true, largely due to the many things that happen that are out of our control. However, there are several things that ARE in your control. There are small but significant things that if you put yourself towards them, you can say you gave it your best. When I do everything in my control, I can say to myself at the end of the day: “I cannot control the outcomes, but as far as inputs go, I feel like I honored the Lord with how I did my day.” Take some time to reflect on the little things that you can do each day. What are the key things that you want to include in your day that at the end of the day you can say it was a good day, you gave it your best, you did the right things. Start incorporating these things into your daily routine by trying habit stacking. Take note of things that are automatic to you: eating at the same time; taking the same route to work; your morning routine. Then, add a new habit that you want to develop to your routine, creating a chain reaction of habits. For example, I’ve been able to establish the routine of waking up early everyday. I can then stack it with my prayer time. I drink coffee early in the morning everyday. I can stack reading the Word for the day on to that. Habit stacking eliminates the effort of developing new habits separately. One habit dominoes into the other. Keep up new habits by doing habit tracking. List down the habits you want to form and check off each time you’re able to fulfill them. These principles and strategies can help shape your days in a way that ultimately shapes your character and your destiny. Remember, when you sow a thought, you begin an action and when you sow an action, you start to begin developing a habit. When you sow a habit, you reap character in the long run. You really have the opportunity to set yourself up for a year of thriving. Resources Mentioned Jay’s email: jay@letsparentonpurpose.com Jay’s e-book: Fun Family Conversations. Text THINGS to 66866 to download for free. Previous episode: Nir Eyal: Raising Indistractable Children Previous episode: This Year: Do Less, Better Book: The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg Book: Atomic Habits by James Clear Book: Indistractable by Nir Eyal My Wife Emily’s Habit Tracker App: PrayerMate Journal: Levenger 5-year journal

Today I’ve got five questions to share with you as you go into this new year that might help you to do less, but to do it better. If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I would like to thank my Patreon supporters for their support.  I use this money to outsource things I do not like to do or don’t know how to do, which is very helpful to me as I share the content of this podcast with all of you. Subscriptions and reviews matter on iTunes, and I thank you for those who have done so, particularly mpatrick0815 and rachel.beth and murray1919 and nzolo1. You sharing this podcast is the number one way for people to find it! I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Show Highlights My New Year’s resolution is: I want to do less than I did last year and the year before that. Think of it like pruning a tree or, in the case of John 15, a vine. Jesus says that he’s the vine and every branch that bears fruit must be pruned so it can bear more fruit. In the context of your life, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate and not add more new things to divide your attention with. Try to focus on doing the more important and fruitful things better. Productivity isn’t always the same as fruitfulness. Sure, you can get a bunch of things done, but sometimes those things aren’t beneficial to you when you consider the bigger picture. If you just try to get everything done, you could easily burn yourself into exhaustion and in the process maybe become bitter or edgy in your relationships and in your outlook on life. In Luke 10, we hear the story of Mary and Martha. They welcomed Jesus into their house and while he was there, Mary decided to sit at his feet and listen to his teachings. Martha was distracted by chores and work she thought she had to do to serve Jesus as a guest. When she asks Jesus to tell Mary to help her, the Lord answered: “Martha, you are anxious and troubled about so many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” As we approach 2020, here are five clarifying questions that can help you take a critical look at what you’re doing in your life, and what you might be able to do less: What’s one activity I find myself doing that does not add true value to myself or anyone else? What’s something that I do primarily motivated by guilt or fear of what someone else will think? What’s something I spend money on that does not truly enhance my life in the least? If I was paying someone $100 an hour to coach me, what’s one thing that they would tell me to stop doing? What’s the one thing I can do that by doing it, many other things become easier or unnecessary? My “one thing” in my personal life is what I call my “margin in the morning.” It’s that couple of hours in the early morning when I have no distractions from work calls and emails, from my kids, or anything else. I use this time to pray, to walk, to exercise, and to read the Bible. When I am able to do this, I find that I can engage people in a completely different way. In my work life, my one thing is to create. Whether it’s creating sermons, lessons, or content, if I am able to eliminate distractions and just concentrate on that creative time, it seems to help me and others the most. Going back to John 15, remember in this coming year that you are not called to bear fruit. You are called to abide in Jesus. When you abide in Jesus, He will produce fruit through his spirit in your life. When you are able to prune your life, to focus on the best things you can do, it will help you to catch your breath, to actually sit at the feet of Jesus a little bit more. Resources Mentioned Jay’s email: jay@letsparentonpurpose.com Jay’s e-book: Fun Family Conversations. Text THINGS to 66866 to download for free. Previous episode: Nir Eyal: Raising Indistractable Children Book: The One Thing by Gary Keller with Jay Papasan

If you have any hope of parenting your family over the very long run, then you have to understand and live by some helpful rules for recovery. If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I would like to thank my Patreon supporters for their support.  I use this money to outsource things I do not like to do or don’t know how to do, which is very helpful to me as I share the content of this podcast with all of you. Subscriptions and reviews matter on iTunes, and I thank you for those who have done so, particularly mpatrick0815 and rachel.beth and murray1919 and nzolo1. You sharing this podcast is the number one way for people to find it! I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Show Highlights I am currently writing a book! Its working title is Parenting is a Marathon, Not a Sprint. The chapter I want to share with you today is Seasons of Life from the section Rules for Recovery. I’ve trained for and joined several marathons and one of the major things I’ve learned from them is that the rarity is when things go smoothly. Mishaps happen along the trail no matter how hard you train or how well you prepare. In the same way,  we live in a sinful, broken world. You should expect injury, exhaustion, and depletion. BUT, you don’t have to live injured, exhausted, and depleted. A wise runner adapts their training and competitive schedule to their environment and a wise parent also needs to recognize the Seasons of Life. The Seasons of Life include:   Child development seasons. Growing years can be full of wonder as your child begins to explore friendships, hobbies, and interests. Through the years, they will hit milestones in the development of their mind, body, and spirit. Their levels of competence and independence will change too. You’ll find yourself in different roles as caregiver, coach, and adviser as they journey towards adulthood. You have to adjust to their needs depending on what stage they are at. You might be experiencing several seasons at once if you have multiple kids. Transition season. We sometimes experience a season of change in our family life, whether it’s moving to a different place, switching schools, welcoming a new member into the family. Change takes time to get used to and can sometimes be intimidating. Help each other through this season. Grieving season. Whether it’s a death in the family, a painful end of friendship, or a moral failure, grief can overcome a family. If you find your family in a grieving season, slow down. Give time and space for the grieving and don’t push to get past this immediately. Acknowledge the hurt and the brokenness, but also the hope that you have in Christ. Give it time. Busy seasons. Sometimes you find yourself with more to do than you can possibly get done. But, watch out. If you cannot see an endpoint where things will decompress, it isn’t just a season. It could be a dangerously unhealthy lifestyle. Stop and make some changes. Stop trying to be superhuman. Special needs seasons. Taking care of a family member that’s sick or has special needs means your family is going through a difficult but ultimately strengthening period. You may not be able to enjoy things that other “normal” families do in this season, but God is using this season to form each person’s character. Jesus is making you more like him. As you take care of your sick family member, be aware of the needs of other people in the family as well. What seasons have you experienced? What season are you in right now? How did this season change what you are able to expect from yourself? You can’t be everything to everyone at the same time. The secret to surviving the long-haul is realizing your situation and responding accordingly. Resources Mentioned Jay’s e-book: Fun Family Conversations. Text THINGS to 66866 to download for free. Previous episode: Teaching Your Children How To Grieve with Bethany McLaughlin

In today’s world, parents and children alike seemed to be fighting an endless battle with distraction. It seems like every month a new technology comes out that shortens our attention span. But what if the technology isn’t to blame? What if the real issue isn’t our phones, it’s us? My guest today Nir Eyal, author of the book Indistractable, is going to coach us on understanding the tendencies that we have for distraction, and help us with a roadmap for Raising Indistractable Children. If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email. Show Highlights With evolving technology like virtual and augmented reality and artificial intelligence, the future is becoming more and more distracting for our kids. In fact, Nir Eyal says, becoming indistractable is the skill of the century. Being indistractable – being able to take control of your attention, your time, and your life as opposed to other people controlling it for you – is really valuable for people of all ages, not just children. Becoming indistractable yourself is a step to helping your child master the skill as well. One major cause of distraction is seeking an escape from something we don’t want to feel. Whether it’s stress, anxiety, fatigue, we impulsively turn to distractions to take our mind off these uncomfortable feelings. The first step we have to take is to understand how to master those internal triggers. When it come to kids, the problem is, parents have no idea what their kids are escaping from when they overuse the number one distraction – technology. Parents often blame external factors, anything that is not us. The risk is, we don’t get to the root of why our kids turn to distractions. We need to address our children’s need to affirm their competency, confidence, and autonomy. If they aren’t able to feel these offline, they’ll look for these online. Nir says, “If we fail to understand the deeper reason why kids overuse technology, we keep putting bandaids on a gash wound.” Help your child by setting parameters and involving them in making the rules. 45 minutes of screen time is not harmful, as long as it is age appropriate content. Working this into your child’s schedule also takes their mind off of it the rest of the day. They know they get to play their video game or watch their show at the right time. If they make the rules with you, they will be less likely to cheat. Resources Mentioned Jay’s e-book: Fun Family Conversations. Text THINGS to 66866 to download for free. Nir’s book: Indistractable Nir’s book: Hooked Nir’s website: https://www.nirandfar.com/

As much as we would like to shelter our children from any terrible events and tragedies happening in their life, life is going to be filled with grief and loss. My friend Bethany McLaughlin joins me today as we talk about how to teach your children to grieve. If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email. Show Highlights As parents, it’s normal for us to want to shelter our children from pain and sadness. But, remember that even Jesus wept and grieved. So it’s natural for all of us, who were made in his image and likeness, to grieve. Bethany McLaughlin points out, “hard things are going to happen to our kids and by shielding them from that, we’re setting them up for failure.” Grieving is a natural gift from God that helps us process loss. We don’t have to change our child’s grief over any type of loss that they encounter. Rather, we have to equip them with tools they need to deal what they are experiencing. Here are some things to keep in mind to help our children through their journey of loss and grief: Starting the conversation early helps prepare the kids for difficult things they may encounter in the future. Don’t wait until you are in the middle of a difficult situation – and in the thick of your own grief to talk to your kids about it. Equip your kids with the tools they need if anything might happen later on. The stages of grief do not happen in linear order. And, as a parent, you and your child may not be in a particular stage at the same time. It takes a lot of awareness and self-reflection to understand this. Your job is not to hurry them through the sadness. Let them go through the process at their own pace. Give your children with an emotional vocabulary to express what they are going through. Use concrete language because children don’t understand abstract thought at a young age. If you say the one who dies “is gone” or “is asleep” they may not get the point. Or worse, they’ll develop unnecessary fears. Children just need you to be honest with them. Movies and stories can help children understand grief. Use Disney movies or children’s books to spark a conversation about loss and grief. Curiosity can lead to compassion. Let your child know that they can talk to you about grief. Allow them to ask questions about hard topics like death and loss. Try to answer them as honestly as you can. Bethany says, even more than equipping your children to handle their own feelings of grief, learning these concepts allows them to empathize better with others who are experiencing loss. “Having that empathy to understand other people’s grief and awareness of what others are experiencing will help them love others, which is our mission – to love God and to love others.” Resources Mentioned Jay’s e-book: Fun Family Conversations. Text THINGS to 66866 to download for free. Book: Tear Soup by Pat Schwiebert and Chuck DeKlyen Book: Finding Grandpa Everywhere: A Young Child Discovers Memories of Grandpa by John Hodge Article: What God Says to Your Tears

  Sometimes you come here for help on your marriage. Sometimes you tune in because you need an encouragement on your walk with God. And, sometimes you need to know how to save your child from ostrich attacks, accidental time travel, and anything else that might happen on an average Tuesday. Today I’m joined by Twitter comic James Breakwell and we talk about… well, you’re just going to have to listen in and see. If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email. Show Highlights Parenting is hard. There are so many things out of your control that you want to change about yourself and so many things that you would shield your children from if you could. Our guest James Breakwell – a humorist and “amateur dad” to four daughters – highlights the importance of keeping humor in your parenting life and being able to not take things too seriously. James’ parenting philosophy on “bare minimum parenting” started out as a joke: “What’s the least you can do to still turn out a productive human being?” He soon realized that he may have stumbled upon something that really makes sense. Doing less could be beneficial for your child. It makes them more independent while making you less stressed out. It lets you develop together. In James’ new book “How to Save Your Child from Ostrich Attacks, Accidental Time Travel, and Anything Else that Might Happen on an Average Tuesday,” he outlines what to do in several survival scenarios with kids. Some of these include defending you and your kids against: Ostriches – “If you put a broom over your head, it will think you are a bigger ostrich and leave you alone.” Geese – James calls geese “a real-life menace.” None of us want to admit that we want to fight a goose and look like a jerk in the process. But, secretly we all know that if one of us would just man up and take on that flock of geese and chase them out of here, we’d all be much happier. Clowns – Clowns teach kids when to run away and when to fight. As James says, “A healthy level of irrational distrust is key to survival. Sometimes your paranoia is right and it’s definitely right in the case of clowns.” Nobody is a parenting expert. Sometimes we get stuck in a performance-based relationship with our children and we fail to convey “I really love you just how you are and we’re going to work on this behavior together.” There are no perfect people. We accept that. But then we turn around and ask ourselves, “Why am I not the perfect parent? Why don’t I have a perfect kid?” Remember, in both our parenting and our faith, the more we stress out about being good and doing good and performing, the worse we become. If you feel like you’ve screwed up your parenting, keep in mind the silver lining that our bad experiences are just great stories in the making, or if you’re James, material for your next joke. Resources Mentioned Jay’s e-book: Fun Family Conversations. Text THINGS to 66866 to download for free. James’ website: explodingunicorn.com James’ Twitter: @XplodingUnicorn James’ new book: How to Save Your Child from Ostrich Attacks, Accidental Time Travel, and Anything Else that Might Happen on an Average Tuesday