Let's Parent on Purpose: Christian Marriage, Parenting, and Discipleship

You cannot have meaningful growth in your family without having hard conversations. Today I’m joined by Ellen Martin, author of A Life Shared: Meaningful Conversations with Our Kids. We talk specifically about how to leverage difficult conversational topics into real growth points in your family life. If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email. Thank you to this week’s sponsor: The Lake Tahoe Couples Getaway. November 13-16 at the Hyatt Regency on Lake Tahoe. Use this link to let them know I sent you! https://www.tahoecouplesgetaway.com/lpop Show Highlights Ellen Martin, author of A Life Shared: Meaningful Conversations with Our Kids, founded the ministry, A Life Shared, to empower, equip, and encourage others in their walk with Jesus. With illustrative vision, practical tools, and space to respond, Ellen offers a diverse, unique speaking ministry. As a life coach, she joins others to facilitate good work in their own lives. Twice graduate of Asbury Theological Seminary, Masters of Art in Christian Education and Master of Divinity, Ellen lives with her husband and five sons in Kentucky. What conversations are you having with your kids? There’s a difference between what you tell your kids and what you actually share, like what you would do with a peer in a conversation. Real conversation is just sharing life with one another. It’s talking about things that interest you, things you love, and things that matter to you. Try to find that place with your children. Think of the way Jesus discipled – it was by telling stories in the context of what the people he was talking to would understand and relate to, not by just telling them what to think. Hard conversations are conversations that no one wants to have. They are the awkward conversations, ones that we want to put off or evade, but you know deep down you’ll have to face them somehow. Sometimes, you just don’t know how to answer the question. Be mindful that while you may have a lot of emotional baggage attached to certain topics, a child might just simply be asking an honest question. For them, it may not be loaded with emotion. There are a few tools that you can use to tackle difficult conversations with your kids: Be honest. It may seem obvious, but it is very important. As parents it’s really easy and sometimes more convenient for us to be evasive. Being honest might mean having to share a hard reality with your kids. If you think the topic is too heavy for them at the moment, be honest about it. Tell your kids it’s not something you think you they are ready for now, but when the time comes, you will talk about it. Keep it simple. Answer as briefly and succinctly as you can. Kids are pretty straightforward and you should be too. If they need to know more, they will ask more. This will also help them engage more in a good conversation.  Use terms that make sense to them. Try to see things from their perspective. Instead of assuming, ask your kids what they mean by the question they are asking. Turn the question into a meaningful conversation and you’ll really understand where they are coming from. Present the facts. The facts are not burdened by emotional baggage or external motivation. You can present the facts then discuss how they make you feel, but don’t assign feelings to other people because you don’t know. Also make sure that you don’t speak for others. Only present the things you know for a fact. Be honoring, not just honest. In all your conversations, be motivated and led by love. Create a safe space for your kids to come to you with anything that is on their minds.   Resources Mentioned Things for Thursday: Text THINGS to 66866 Ellen’s website: https://alifesharedwithkids.com Ellen’s book: A Life Shared: Meaningful Conversations with Our Kids

You may have never used the term “spiritual disciplines” when thinking about the way that you’re raising your children, but I guarantee that you have been instilling them in their lives, over the course of the last several years. Today I’m joined by my good friend and co-pastor at my church, Hunter Wheatcraft and we talk about ways to instill spiritual disciplines in different age groups, all the way from elementary through college aged students. If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email. Thank you to this week’s sponsor: The Lake Tahoe Couples Getaway. November 13-16 at the Hyatt Regency on Lake Tahoe. Use this link to let them know I sent you! https://www.tahoecouplesgetaway.com/lpop Show Highlights Spiritual disciplines are the practices we need to do regularly to have a healthy spiritual life. These include prayer, reading the Bible, and being engaged in the church community, among others. Instilling these disciplines in younger children can be challenging because they are still developing their relationship with Jesus at the same time. But, just the act of planting these gospel seeds and building these habits that they will carry on into adulthood is valuable. Today’s culture of instant gratification, it might be hard to think of the process of developing discipline. But, strengthen your and your kids’ spiritual muscles is a long-term endeavor. Remember, what you feed will grow, what you starve will die. If your children are having a difficult time growing their relationship with Jesus, try examining what they are feeding their spiritual life with. What music are they listening to? What shows do they watch? Who do they follow on social media? If they are starving themselves spiritually, you shouldn’t expect that they will have a hunger for the things of God. There are so many ways to strengthen that relationship with God and you can approach it different ways, depending on the interests of your child. Whether they are into music, art, or sports, you can incorporate worship and service into it. To incorporate spiritual disciplines in your life, go about it the same way you would develop any other good habit. Pair something new and maybe challenging, like daily bible reading, with something pleasurable, like having hot chocolate or coffee with it. Start small. Instead of starting your kids with the longest prayers, pick something short, something that will hold their attention. Keep doing this as you build their spiritual muscles and develop the craving for these good spiritual habits. Eventually, the routine itself will become the reward. Resources Mentioned Things for Thursday: Text THINGS to 66866  

Today on Let’s Parent on Purpose, we’re going to talk about how to encourage our children to walk wisely in a fool’s world as I continue my Survival Guide series on the most essential things that we want our young people to know before they leave our house. If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email. Thank you to this week’s sponsor: The Lake Tahoe Couples Getaway. Sign up before Valentine’s Day and you can receive a $100 discount per person on this amazing couples retreat November 13-16 at the Hyatt Regency on Lake Tahoe. Use this link to let them know I sent you! https://www.tahoecouplesgetaway.com/lpop Show Highlights Think about all the decisions your child will have to make throughout their lives. Our world today is so different from the one that we grew up in and everyday our children are faced with influences that will make them question their faith. That, and dealing with hormonal changes of adolescence, will grow different feelings in them as to what they want to do in the moment. Ephesians 5:15-17 tells us: “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of time because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish but understand what the will of the Lord is.” As they go out into the world, there are several evils that our children may face, especially drinking and wildfire sexuality – and in our culture that celebrates that everything goes, those two are often combined. These both may seem appealing to our growing children, but as parents, we have to remind them that getting out of bounds with alcohol and sexuality is in contrast to the Lord’s way. It’s foolishness and there will be consequences. Do this by pointing out examples of the terrible consequences of alcoholism and overt sexuality. Remind your kids, “You get to choose to be a wise person. A wise person makes moral judgments and installs moral guardrails before their feelings get turned up high.” When the feelings are up is a really bad time to make decisions. Think of it as driving on the side of a mountain without guardrails. That would be terrifying. The guardrail keeps you from danger. Help your children establish guardrails and boundaries – even before they find themselves in a high-emotion situation. When they are younger, we set the parameters for them as parents, but as they start to get older and have more relationships, instead of telling them what to do, you want to make sure that you are asking them, what are your guardrails? What are your standards? Guide them, but let them own it. As a parent helping your child walk wisely in a fool’s world, keep in mind the following – both for your child and for yourself: Jesus makes the dirty clean. You may have done or thought of some unclean deeds, but you don’t have to live in them, they don’t have to identify you. Jesus frees the slaves. You don’t have to do the things that you used to do once you put your faith in Christ. You don’t have to be bound by decisions you’ve made in the past. Jesus lives as Lord. He rose again from the grave proving that he is the Son of God. If you submit yourself to the Lordship of Jesus and if you live as his servant, following his way, there’s going to be paydays along the way. Living for Jesus has a cost, but it also has immediate rewards, intermediate rewards, and eternal rewards. May Jesus bless you and your family along the way. Resources Mentioned Things for Thursday: Text THINGS to 66866

Today I’m going to cover the concept of considering others before yourself. For something that sounds so simple to say, it can be one of the hardest practices to master in life. It’s also my second topic in my survival series where I cover the core principles that your child needs to master before leaving your home. If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email. Show Highlights It may seem counterintuitive, but considering others before yourself may be the best survival strategy there is and something important to instill in your children. Think back to when you were younger. We all have experiences of being too afraid to stand up for kids being bullied. Sometimes we’re not mean, but we wouldn’t put ourselves out there for people we can’t gain from. Talking with your kids about it in the first person, based on examples from your own life, makes it very relatable. We naturally put a lot of effort into self preservation. We associate based on perceived status. If someone has money, looks, connections, and we think associating with them is going to get us ahead, we tend to overlook major character issues in their life and major warning signs. We want to associate ourselves with them whether they are of quality character or not. We distance ourselves from potential threats – not just people who will directly hurt or harm us, but also people who by association will get us laughed at or made fun of. They may be good people, but we will not come to their defense publicly. We make the mistake of self-promotion instead of genuine self-sacrifice. In our social media obsessed world, we tend to post our good deeds online. Will you still do good deeds even if no one knows about them? If it’s just a matter of evolution, survival of the fittest, this would work. However, our faith in the teachings of Jesus commands us to do the opposite – to not self-preserve, but to look out for those around us, to count out others more significant than ourselves. Life others up, humble yourself, because God will lift you up. If your faith is true: Be united in your outlook. Be others-first in your actions. Be Christian in your attitudes. Model how Jesus put others before him. Teach your kids to think about what they are doing and how it affects others. In your own house, leaving dishes in the sink, leaving toys out, leaving your chores undone are examples of not considering others. It’s not just laziness, but selfishness, but not thinking of the other person. Point your children towards Christ. One of the ways you show that you belong to Jesus is by being considerate and thinking of others more than yourself. Character is revealed not by what we do when everybody’s looking, not by what we do when there’s rewards, not by what we do when we’re going to advance because of it, but by what you do to the people from whom you have nothing to gain. It’s a simple concept, but one that is so powerful that it will transform your life and the life of your children. Giving your life away is the greatest survival strategy that you could possibly have. Resources Mentioned Things for Thursday: Text THINGS to 66866

When your child has graduated and now they’re out of your house, sitting on their bed in their dorm room or apartment, what are the key principles that you pray are driven deep into their soul? Today, I’m going to begin a series that 12 most important principles that will help our children go beyond survival and thrive in a turbulent world. If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email. Show Highlights One major core principle your children should possess is knowing how to make meaningful friendships. Help them understand that our friends determine the direction and quality of our lives. We naturally walk, talk, dress, and think like the people we are with most often. Sometimes it’s healthy to step back and get some perspective. Ask your kids to reflect on the question: Do I like the composite of who they are becoming? Because that’s who I’m becoming. Finding a church community that is vibrant and really supports your child could light their life on fire. Without spiritual friendships, you’ll realize how lonely it could be. As it says in the Bible, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” Talk to your children about the warning signs of people they may want to avoid. MADGAS, inspired by Proverbs 20, is an acronym that helps identify toxic friendships and relationships that can end up ruining your child’s life. Manipulator – These are people who are good at getting you to do what you shouldn’t and don’t want to do by guilting or shaming you. As parents, also make sure that you’re not being a manipulator to your child. Addict – Addiction destroys humanity. It destroys those who might have once been caring, loving, and generous. Addicts become incredibly self-centered and other become commodities to them. Continue to have conversations with your children about substance abuse in terms of the destructive outcomes it can bring about. Deceiver – These are the liars, those who are not trustworthy. Help your children understand that if they will lie to other people, they will probably lie to you. Lying breaks relationships. Gossip – There are people who feel better about themselves by tearing everybody down. If they gossip with you, they will gossip about you. As a parent, make sure that you aren’t gossiping in front of your child as well. Arguer – The arguer is more concerned with appearing right than they are the people around them. They are a big drain on energy. Slug – People who have a poor work ethic and just sit around and wait for everybody to serve them. Be mindful if you are carrying the load in the relationship. Avoid MADGAS and avoid being them as well. If your child identifies these toxic relationships among their friends, there are two things they can do: Diversify. You don’t need to be around the same people all the time. Dilute. Add new people to your friendship group to change the dynamic of the group. On the other hand, JETPACKs will launch you and uplift you. This stands for people who are: Joyful, Encourager, Trustworthy, Peacemaker, Active, Christ-centered, Kingdom-minded. Encourage your children to be the kind of friend that they want. Be a blessing to others. Resources Mentioned Things for Thursday: Text THINGS to 66866 Free Audio Books: freeaudibletrial.com/letsparentonpurpose Book: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

The concept of discipling our children can sound very intimidating. There’s no end to the volumes of books and programs that have been created to help us make disciples. But sometimes all the books and programs bring confusion rather than clarity. As I think through the discipleship of my own children, I begin to think of how Jesus made disciples. My brainstorm quickly grew to a list of 25 ways that Jesus made disciples. Ironically, the larger the list grew, the more encouraged I was. I want to share it with you, because it will help you realize that You are in a better position to disciple your children than anyone else in the world. You’re already doing most of the things Jesus did to make disciples. If you’re interested in support Let’s Parent On Purpose as it reaches moms and dads around the world, consider joining our Patreon Support Community If you’d like help with changing the conversations in your household, text the word THINGS to 66866 to get a copy of my Fun Family Conversations Ebook! As promised on this podcast episode, here’s my list of 25 ways that Jesus made disciples: How did Jesus disciple people? Spend a lot of time with them over several years Slept in the same places where they sleep Ate with them Let them see His personal walk with God Went to celebrations with them Went on walks with them Told them stories Worked and played together Encouraged them when they did well Confronted them when they were going the wrong way Showed patience with them when they just weren’t strong enough Showed weakness in front of them and let them help him Asked them a lot of questions Gave them tasks that were beyond anything they had done to that point Went to religious meetings with them Read scripture with them and discussed its meaning Served other people with them Talked about the things of God in informal times Showed them how to do things Let them do things that He was better at than them Showed his full range of emotions around them Prayed for and with them Laid down His life for them Preached the gospel to them Empowered them to carry the word and work of God into the world Look at that list. You’re already doing many of these! And it wouldn’t take much effort to add some of the others. Discipleship is Life on Life. Keep on discipling your children, and take joy in the journey!

Raising a child as a single parent has to be one of the most difficult things you can do on this earth. Whether you’re a single parent right now or whether you’re in a  married relationship, I encourage you to listen to this podcast because you’re going to be encouraged, you’re going to be challenged and convicted as I talk with my friend Marissa Morris on the challenges and joys of single parenting.  If you’d like, you can read Marissa’s testimony HERE. If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email. Show Highlights Bringing up your children with a partner is difficult enough, but single parenting poses unique challenges that can be overcome with a little help from your community. Single mom Marissa Morris shares that, as she raises her son, she is acutely aware that the relationship between a husband and wife which is symbolic of the relationship between Christ and the Church is missing in her home. Still, she trusts that the Lord will equip her to fill in the gaps for her son and that He will provide godly men in her child’s life that will mentor him and show him what it means to be a godly man living with integrity and grace. As a single parent, you have to do everything – caring for your child, household duties, work. But, Marissa says it is vital to spend time with the Lord no matter how busy she is in a day. “I can’t be a parent that the Lord called me to be unless I’m actually spending time with the Lord.” Carve out time to fill your well up spending personal time with the Lord and make sure your children see that you are doing it. It’s not just something you do when you’re alone or your children are asleep. Our children need to see that the most important relationship we have is with the Lord. As a single parent, community is important. In Marissa’s experience, it helps to be actively involved in her faith community. They were the ones who walked her through good times and bad – from struggling with forgiveness and grace after giving birth, to being a huge support with advice as she raises her child. Involving yourself in classes and group activities might mean an investment of time and resources, but the future dividends will be far beyond what you spend for it. Being involved in a strong church community gives you the mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters that your child needs. Being a single parent doesn’t mean you have to raise your children alone. More than ever you need the family of God supporting you and your children. Resources Mentioned

This year I’m incorporating a new strategy to help bring accountability and focus to my days. I’m want to share it with you because if you’re like me, there are plenty of things in each of your days that are out of your control and I want to help you define a specific set of actions that you can control that can bring stability, focus, and perspective to your days. To save you some scrolling, if you’re looking for My Wife Emily’s Habit Tracker just click the link. If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I would like to thank my Patreon supporters for their support.  I use this money to outsource things I do not like to do or don’t know how to do, which is very helpful to me as I share the content of this podcast with all of you. Subscriptions and reviews matter on iTunes, and I thank you for those who have done so, particularly mpatrick0815 and rachel.beth and murray1919 and nzolo1. You sharing this podcast is the number one way for people to find it! I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Show Highlights At the beginning of each year, we love making resolutions and plans. I’m a heavy planner myself, but, as time goes by, I’ve realized that most of my plans don’t come true, largely due to the many things that happen that are out of our control. However, there are several things that ARE in your control. There are small but significant things that if you put yourself towards them, you can say you gave it your best. When I do everything in my control, I can say to myself at the end of the day: “I cannot control the outcomes, but as far as inputs go, I feel like I honored the Lord with how I did my day.” Take some time to reflect on the little things that you can do each day. What are the key things that you want to include in your day that at the end of the day you can say it was a good day, you gave it your best, you did the right things. Start incorporating these things into your daily routine by trying habit stacking. Take note of things that are automatic to you: eating at the same time; taking the same route to work; your morning routine. Then, add a new habit that you want to develop to your routine, creating a chain reaction of habits. For example, I’ve been able to establish the routine of waking up early everyday. I can then stack it with my prayer time. I drink coffee early in the morning everyday. I can stack reading the Word for the day on to that. Habit stacking eliminates the effort of developing new habits separately. One habit dominoes into the other. Keep up new habits by doing habit tracking. List down the habits you want to form and check off each time you’re able to fulfill them. These principles and strategies can help shape your days in a way that ultimately shapes your character and your destiny. Remember, when you sow a thought, you begin an action and when you sow an action, you start to begin developing a habit. When you sow a habit, you reap character in the long run. You really have the opportunity to set yourself up for a year of thriving. Resources Mentioned Jay’s email: jay@letsparentonpurpose.com Jay’s e-book: Fun Family Conversations. Text THINGS to 66866 to download for free. Previous episode: Nir Eyal: Raising Indistractable Children Previous episode: This Year: Do Less, Better Book: The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg Book: Atomic Habits by James Clear Book: Indistractable by Nir Eyal My Wife Emily’s Habit Tracker App: PrayerMate Journal: Levenger 5-year journal

Today I’ve got five questions to share with you as you go into this new year that might help you to do less, but to do it better. If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I would like to thank my Patreon supporters for their support.  I use this money to outsource things I do not like to do or don’t know how to do, which is very helpful to me as I share the content of this podcast with all of you. Subscriptions and reviews matter on iTunes, and I thank you for those who have done so, particularly mpatrick0815 and rachel.beth and murray1919 and nzolo1. You sharing this podcast is the number one way for people to find it! I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Show Highlights My New Year’s resolution is: I want to do less than I did last year and the year before that. Think of it like pruning a tree or, in the case of John 15, a vine. Jesus says that he’s the vine and every branch that bears fruit must be pruned so it can bear more fruit. In the context of your life, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate and not add more new things to divide your attention with. Try to focus on doing the more important and fruitful things better. Productivity isn’t always the same as fruitfulness. Sure, you can get a bunch of things done, but sometimes those things aren’t beneficial to you when you consider the bigger picture. If you just try to get everything done, you could easily burn yourself into exhaustion and in the process maybe become bitter or edgy in your relationships and in your outlook on life. In Luke 10, we hear the story of Mary and Martha. They welcomed Jesus into their house and while he was there, Mary decided to sit at his feet and listen to his teachings. Martha was distracted by chores and work she thought she had to do to serve Jesus as a guest. When she asks Jesus to tell Mary to help her, the Lord answered: “Martha, you are anxious and troubled about so many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” As we approach 2020, here are five clarifying questions that can help you take a critical look at what you’re doing in your life, and what you might be able to do less: What’s one activity I find myself doing that does not add true value to myself or anyone else? What’s something that I do primarily motivated by guilt or fear of what someone else will think? What’s something I spend money on that does not truly enhance my life in the least? If I was paying someone $100 an hour to coach me, what’s one thing that they would tell me to stop doing? What’s the one thing I can do that by doing it, many other things become easier or unnecessary? My “one thing” in my personal life is what I call my “margin in the morning.” It’s that couple of hours in the early morning when I have no distractions from work calls and emails, from my kids, or anything else. I use this time to pray, to walk, to exercise, and to read the Bible. When I am able to do this, I find that I can engage people in a completely different way. In my work life, my one thing is to create. Whether it’s creating sermons, lessons, or content, if I am able to eliminate distractions and just concentrate on that creative time, it seems to help me and others the most. Going back to John 15, remember in this coming year that you are not called to bear fruit. You are called to abide in Jesus. When you abide in Jesus, He will produce fruit through his spirit in your life. When you are able to prune your life, to focus on the best things you can do, it will help you to catch your breath, to actually sit at the feet of Jesus a little bit more. Resources Mentioned Jay’s email: jay@letsparentonpurpose.com Jay’s e-book: Fun Family Conversations. Text THINGS to 66866 to download for free. Previous episode: Nir Eyal: Raising Indistractable Children Book: The One Thing by Gary Keller with Jay Papasan

If you have any hope of parenting your family over the very long run, then you have to understand and live by some helpful rules for recovery. If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I would like to thank my Patreon supporters for their support.  I use this money to outsource things I do not like to do or don’t know how to do, which is very helpful to me as I share the content of this podcast with all of you. Subscriptions and reviews matter on iTunes, and I thank you for those who have done so, particularly mpatrick0815 and rachel.beth and murray1919 and nzolo1. You sharing this podcast is the number one way for people to find it! I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Show Highlights I am currently writing a book! Its working title is Parenting is a Marathon, Not a Sprint. The chapter I want to share with you today is Seasons of Life from the section Rules for Recovery. I’ve trained for and joined several marathons and one of the major things I’ve learned from them is that the rarity is when things go smoothly. Mishaps happen along the trail no matter how hard you train or how well you prepare. In the same way,  we live in a sinful, broken world. You should expect injury, exhaustion, and depletion. BUT, you don’t have to live injured, exhausted, and depleted. A wise runner adapts their training and competitive schedule to their environment and a wise parent also needs to recognize the Seasons of Life. The Seasons of Life include:   Child development seasons. Growing years can be full of wonder as your child begins to explore friendships, hobbies, and interests. Through the years, they will hit milestones in the development of their mind, body, and spirit. Their levels of competence and independence will change too. You’ll find yourself in different roles as caregiver, coach, and adviser as they journey towards adulthood. You have to adjust to their needs depending on what stage they are at. You might be experiencing several seasons at once if you have multiple kids. Transition season. We sometimes experience a season of change in our family life, whether it’s moving to a different place, switching schools, welcoming a new member into the family. Change takes time to get used to and can sometimes be intimidating. Help each other through this season. Grieving season. Whether it’s a death in the family, a painful end of friendship, or a moral failure, grief can overcome a family. If you find your family in a grieving season, slow down. Give time and space for the grieving and don’t push to get past this immediately. Acknowledge the hurt and the brokenness, but also the hope that you have in Christ. Give it time. Busy seasons. Sometimes you find yourself with more to do than you can possibly get done. But, watch out. If you cannot see an endpoint where things will decompress, it isn’t just a season. It could be a dangerously unhealthy lifestyle. Stop and make some changes. Stop trying to be superhuman. Special needs seasons. Taking care of a family member that’s sick or has special needs means your family is going through a difficult but ultimately strengthening period. You may not be able to enjoy things that other “normal” families do in this season, but God is using this season to form each person’s character. Jesus is making you more like him. As you take care of your sick family member, be aware of the needs of other people in the family as well. What seasons have you experienced? What season are you in right now? How did this season change what you are able to expect from yourself? You can’t be everything to everyone at the same time. The secret to surviving the long-haul is realizing your situation and responding accordingly. Resources Mentioned Jay’s e-book: Fun Family Conversations. Text THINGS to 66866 to download for free. Previous episode: Teaching Your Children How To Grieve with Bethany McLaughlin