Let's Parent on Purpose: Christian Marriage, Parenting, and Discipleship

Six years ago I started a simple habit of writing five lines in a daily journal. Today I share six insights I have from this practice as I try to encourage you to develop this four minute habit. Listen to me explain how I learned: 1. God is faithful 2. My seasons of discontent are truly seasonal 3. Ingrained habits take very little willpower 4. Many of my plans don’t work out. Actually, most don’t. 5. My wife just keeps getting more awesome. 6. It’s only through journaling daily did I to discover some of the sneaky blessings of God in my life.   Resources Mentioned: The Levenger 5-year journal: https://amzn.to/3TfRlJI Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/ support/  

There is a general principle that states that 70% of our learning comes from experience, 20% from the people in our lives, and 10% from formalized instruction and book education. Today I reflect on how these truths might impact the way we parent and approach spiritual development in our households and churches.   Resources Mentioned: What is the 70 20 10 Model in Learning and Development? https://elearningindustry.com/70-20-10-model-learning-and-development Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

Whether you are surviving a middle school lunch room or trying to navigate the adult relationships in your life, there will always be mean people. Based on an excellent sermon on the same topic from Andy Stanley at North Point Church, I walk through insights about getting even vs. giving love. We look at how attempting to get even almost cost David his future kingdom. Finally we consider the following set of questions to help us deal with the mean people in our lives: Do you want to be even with someone you don’t even like? How much control are you giving this person in your head? When this is nothing more than a story to tell, what story do you want to tell? What would it look like to return good for for? Is Jesus your king… really?   Resources Mentioned: North Point Church: Mean People and What to do about them: https://bit.ly/3c24UeT  Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets by Andy Stanley: https://amzn.to/3AtzUhq Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

Great marriages don’t happen without intentional work. There’s a saying: “your habits will determine the direction and quality of your life.” In the same way, your marriage habits will determine the direction and quality of your marriage. As we wrap up our Building Blocks for a Healthy Marriage series, Nathan and Amy Oliver share with us five powerful habits to practice for a healthy marriage. We will learn the power of 10 Minutes of check-in each day A weekly date night 3 Consecutive nights away each year Regular family business meetings Developing a Care List so your spouse knows how to best show you love Nathan and Amy Oliver are both licensed professional therapists and members of Covenant Fellowship Baptist Church in Stuart, Florida. They specialize in marriage/family therapy, teens/young adults, substance addiction, depression, and anxiety. The Olivers are individually available for virtual counseling sessions. To find out more visit www.olivercounselling.com   Resources Mentioned: Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y www.olivercounseling.com Trusted Pet Sitters: https://www.trustedhousesitters.com/ Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

Some couples naturally communicate very well with one another. But for most, it’s a learned skill. If we are not intentional with our communication, one day we might wake up next to someone we not longer know nor care to know. Marriage therapists Nathan and Amy Oliver equip us today with key skills to enhance our marriage through better communication. We talk about the primary purpose of communication (connection vs. information collection). The Oliver’s discuss the importance of nonverbal communication, the dangers of trying to communicate through text, and ways to help your spouse feel validated even if you don’t agree with them. These simple skills will help you stay invested in your spouse as you each change from the early years, through the parenting years, into a thriving marriage as empty nesters.   Nathan and Amy Oliver are both licensed professional therapists and members of Covenant Fellowship Baptist Church in Stuart, Florida. They specialize in marriage/family therapy, teens/young adults, substance addiction, depression, and anxiety. The Olivers are individually available for virtual counseling sessions. To find out more visit www.olivercounselling.com   Resources Mentioned: Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y www.olivercounseling.com It’s Not About The Nail Youtube Video: https://tinyurl.com/3ku2d54c Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss: https://amzn.to/3nfESXz Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/  

Every marriage has conflict. It’s how you handle the conflict that determines the direction and quality of your marriage. My guests Nathan and Amy Oliver outline specific steps you can incorporate into your turbulent issues to end more connected than when you began. You’ll learn the power of a time out in the midst of a heated discussion. You’ll also be equipped with steps to take during and after the time out to ensure you win the person, not the argument.   These steps include: - Asking questions to regain perspective: Who is this person? What am I feeling right now? What does he or she feel in me? Breathing and regaining control of your “logic brain” from your “emotional brain” Learning to empathetically restate your spouse’s position even if you don’t agree with it.   Additionally, you’ll discover the emotional, physical, and sexual benefits of conflict resolution and how to not live in fear of the next argument.   Nathan and Amy Oliver are both licensed professional therapists and members of Covenant Fellowship Baptist Church in Stuart, Florida. They specialize in marriage/family therapy, teens/young adults, substance addiction, depression, and anxiety. The Olivers are individually available for virtual counseling sessions. To find out more visit www.olivercounselling.com   Resources Mentioned: Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y www.olivercounseling.com Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss: https://amzn.to/3nfESXz Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

This is the first of a four part series on building blocks for a healthy marriage. Before getting into communication and conflict techniques, it’s important to remember that a healthy marriage must have a solid foundation. Today I share three vital pillars for every marriage to thrive in a spiritually broken world. As you listen, consider whether your marriage is supported by: 1) a regular, personal spiritual pursuit of Jesus Christ and His will, 2) spiritually connective practices with your spouse, and 3) an accountable and encouraging faith community.    Helpful questions to ask yourself:   Am I setting aside regular, personal time with Jesus? Do I read His word with a heart to see God, know his will, and follow it? Do I regularly pray for and with my spouse? Does my pursuit of worship, study, and serving enrich my spouse’s walk with Jesus? Do I have a spiritual community that encourages me in my walk and calls me to accountability if I am straying or mistreating my spouse?   Resources Mentioned: Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/   Sponsor Affiliate:  Get the Key Psalms to Pray Over Your Kids: www.cpgive.org

A few years ago I began to craft my ideal week. While it never goes according to plan, the practice has radically increased my fruitfulness and decreased my stress. Today I share with you the benefits of crafting your ideal work week as well as the process for creating your own.   Scheduling Your Ideal Work Week:   First off, before beginning your schedule, take a few minutes to write out your long term goals for a fruitful and joy filled life.   For me those would include:   An ever-growing relationship with Jesus A body that is functional and not in chronic pain A mind that stays curious and sharp A deepening love and joy in my life and partnership with my wife Intentional time with my children and friends Joyful life with the church Faithful and fruitful work   Next, write out a Monday-Sunday calendar. Break up the day into these 6 sections: Early Morning, Late Morning, Early Afternoon, Late Afternoon, Early Evening, Late Evening.   Now, fill-in the absolute fixed points of your schedule that you don’t control the time of.   Next, fill in the time slots that are an investment in those long term goals you listed before starting your calendar. For instance, each Early Morning I have slotted a time that is called Morning Startup. This includes a time for a long walk and prayer time, reading the word, quickly journaling about yesterday, and my hygiene time. I know this time will also include helping get the kids ready for school. There’s also a date night blocked, a family sabbath dinner, and a time for personal projects.    Now, aim to block off chunks of 2-3 hour blocks for deep work or batched work (these are tasks that can be done much quicker if grouped together, like emails, chores, or phone calls).  I’ve learned is that in a 40 hour work week, if I can get 12-15 hours of uninterrupted deep work, I can really thrive at completing all that’s required of me besides the people interactions. So I block those deep work times in 3 hour chunks through the week.   For more details, listen to the podcast! Additionally you might benefit from checking out Michael Hyatt’s explanation in my resources mentioned section below. This is where I learned the practice.     Resources Mentioned: Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y How to Better Control Your Time by Designing Your Ideal Week: https://fullfocus.co/ideal-week/ Free to Focus: A Total Productivity System for Doing More by Doing Less: https://amzn.to/3NRBP2O Get Your Calendar Year Prayer Journal: www.cpgive.org Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

I’m frequently asked about which Bible Translation is best for children or teens. Today I share an overview of the differences between translations as well as thoughts on what Bible might be best for your child. Additionally I share a couple of “pre-Bible introductory resources”. I discuss why it’s important to consider what translation your church regularly uses as well as any special reading difficulties your child may have.   Resources Mentioned: Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y The Jesus Storybook Bible: https://amzn.to/3xUNiZu The Action Bible: https://amzn.to/3OBsnlr Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/support/

Lisa Appelo went to bed married one night and woke up a widow and single mom to seven children the next morning. Her story of navigating raw, tender grief stands as a testimony that—regardless of your circumstances—life can be good again after it falls apart. We talk about the experience of losing her husband dan, the process of navigating her own grief, as well as the individual paths of grieving each of her children walked. Most importantly, we celebrate how Jesus can bring a depth and richness to our joy even if we’ve experienced traumatic loss.   Resources Mentioned: Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y   Life Can Be Good Again: Putting Your World Back Together After It Falls Apart by Lisa Appelo: https://lisaappelo.com/lifecanbegoodagain/ LisaAppelo.com IG: @lisaappelo FB: @LisaAppelo   Support Let’s Parent on Purpose! https://letsparentonpurpose.com/ support/