Philokalia Ministries

We come to the conclusion of Conference 20 on repentance and reparation and consider the depth of the desert Fathers understanding of the human person.  Abba Pinufius sets off carnal sins from the others as those that one would not want to recall as a means of uprooting the disposition to them.  Such sins, touching upon our natural appetites and desires carry within them the danger of drawing us back into them if we allow them to return to memory and imagination.  Pinufius is not treating such natural appetites as evils but rather respecting their power and importance to our identity as human beings.  For such reasons they are not to be treated casually or lightly in the spiritual battle. We must instead turn our minds to heavenly things - the desire for God and the virtues.   The closing note is a reminder that what has been addressed in this conference pertains to the more grave sins in the eyes of God.  We may come to the point where we do not commit them and have freed ourselves from the disposition towards them.  However, the smaller sins we commit repeatedly throughout the day, often without noticing, remain something we struggle with and continue to do penance for throughout our lives.  Repentance and reparation our constant fixtures of the spiritual life.

While trying to help Cassian and Germanus focus on the end of repentance and the marks of reparation which is healing (the removal of the thorn of the conscience and any disposition to sin), Pinufius patiently steps back and tries to hearten and encourage his proteges in the continuing pursuit of these things.  He must first help them see the constant means God places at our disposal to know his mercy and forgiveness and the means he provides for healing us of the effects of our sins.  Again, with a single stroke of the pen, Cassian removes our tendency to turn the forgiveness of sin and the repairing of its wounds into something mechanical or magical. God is a lover who ceaselessly seeks us out and draws us to himself; offering us at every turn means to know his forgiveness. Never more can we blame God for our lingering attraction to sin and return to it.  It is our negligence and lack of resolve, our pride and laziness alone that keeps us from coming to know that fullness and freedom, love and forgiveness.  Our lack of hatred for sin and our unwillingness to do whatever is necessary to free ourselves from its grip, reveals a lack of love and gratitude for God's gifts.

We join Cassian and Germanus now as they visit with Abba Pinufius - well known to them for his holiness and humility.  Because of these qualities, they seek him out in particular as they grapple not with understanding the need for repentance and reparation but rather with the desire to know the when end of repentance has been achieved and by what marks reparation and full healing from sin can be identified. For the modern Christian, this can be very difficult to understand; so largely have repentance and reparation become symbolic in our lives.  Seeking forgiveness and confessing one's sins can simply be a legalistic notion - acknowledging infractions of certain moral laws rather than addressing the restoration of a relationship of love and repairing or healing the damage done by our sin and overcoming our disposition to sin.  In a few sentences, Abba Pinufius pulls from our grasp all room for presumption.  Conscience becomes the truest judge - speaking to our hearts about the true state of our souls and whether we have received the forgiveness and grace of God in vain. It becomes the strongest indicator of whether or not we have been freed from the disposition to particular sins. Repentance and reparation, and the formation of conscience, then, become constant and essential elements of the spiritual life.

We come now to the conclusion of Conference 19 where Cassian and Germanus question Abba John about how one overcomes and does battle with vices that reemerge after the solitary life of the anchorite has been embraced.  Abba John describes for them how they must engage in a kind of mental warfare - drawing the vices they see active in their hearts to mind and allowing themselves to be humbled by them and then apply the necessary reparation that is need; that is, apply the healing balm of penance and self rebuke to uproot the vestiges of these sins.  The self-honesty as well as the self-awareness necessary for such an undertaking is great, especially since it is done without the support and guidance of others.  The only vice where this is not to be done is fornication or unchastity.  Since such vices arise out of and are connected to bodily appetites, the use of mental imagery could be very dangerous and simply draw one further into sin.   Lengthy discussion ensued about renewing the asceticism that would even allow this kind of mindfulness and purity of heart to develop.  In particular, the group discussed the importance of fasting in the humbling of mind and body and allowing one to recognize one's dependence on God.  We must come to see once more the necessity of such practices, develop the resolve to embrace them, and take them up with love; acknowledging that they bring us freedom and draw us closer to Christ.   We also spoke at length about the importance of not receiving the grace of God in vain.  When receiving the grace and mercy of God through confession of our sins, we must take up the means available to us to repair the damage that the sin has inflicted; to uproot the vice and apply the healing balm.

Again, Germanus and Cassian take up their discussion with Abba John about the end of the life of a cenobite and of the hermit.  Both have been deeply humbled as their understanding of the necessity and importance of long formation in the cenobia for developing the capacity of pursuing the anchoritic life.  Only by having lived in community and having crucified the ego and one's passions can one possibly pursue the life of greater solitude and contemplation. For it is in the deeper silence of the the anchoritic life that the once hidden passions will again emerge.  In fact, some people become so savage due to the unbroken silence of the desert simply because they sought it in pride or prematurely.  If one goes off to the desert with vices not yet attended to, only their effects will be repressed but the dispositions to them will not be extinguished.   A great deal of discussion focused on the applying the wisdom of the desert to the life of one seeking holiness while living in the world.  Simplicity of life and clarity about the essential pursuit of purity of heart as well as emotional maturity were discussed at length in regard to how they apply to the married state, consecrated single life and the life of the secular clergy.  One must cultivate a sensitive conscience through frequent examination and humble repentance.  Prayer must be fostered not as a good activity but as the very source of life and holiness.  Christians must once again foster a culture that is truly shaped by the gospel.  They must also be attentive to the ways the Divine Physician provides for healing when spiritual guides our lacking.  

Germanus and Cassian continue their conversation with Abba John who in many ways is unique.  He began his life in the Cenobium, became an anchorite, and then returned to the common life of the Cenobium after many years in solitude.  Abba John experienced the desire and the fruit of the life of deep solitude as an anchorite - intimacy with God and theoria or contemplation.  However, after many years of solitude distractions and concerns began to weigh upon him so much so that he was losing the simplicity of life and freedom that allows for undistracted contemplation.  There was a relaxation, among many of the anchorites, of the simplicity necessary for such a life and an over-concern for carnal realities began to emerge; too much of a focus on bodily comfort and the variety and plentitude of food.  Too much concern was focused on the morrow rather that God in the present moment.  What may seem to be a slight regression in practice to us made an enormous difference for those who were to be seeking God in radical simplicity in order to be free emotionally and spiritually to be raised up to the heights of prayer.  Abba John, therefore, wisely and humbly made the decision to return to the Cenobium where he could live with a greater freedom from such concerns because of the nature and support of the common life as well as live under obedience to a superior and so be conformed to Christ more perfectly.   Lengthy discussion then ensued regarding how such principles could be applied to contemporary life and the pursuit of holiness in the world.  How do we regain our simplicity and clarity of focus on living the Christian life in a world that thrives on distraction and a busyness that crowds out solitude and prayer?  The loss of a larger Catholic culture and its formative effects has been immeasurable.  Individuals and families live in isolation and find themselves walking in lockstep with those living in and formed by modern worldly sensibilities.  If the family is the domestic Church then should it not possess more in common with the cenobium?  Should not an environment be sought and created that nourishes the faith, the pursuit of holiness and a life of simplicity where prayer can emerge and shape one's existence? The renewal of Christian culture is something that will likely take place by slowly building that which will endure; not necessarily by appealing to modern sensibilities but living the gospel fully and embracing the love of the Cross. Cassian's writing remains ever relevant because it approaches the human person in relation to God not in a superficial fashion but as the deep mystery in which we must be fully immersed.    

Cassian and Germanus continue their discussion of Cenobitism and Anchoritism with an elderly Abba Paul who had lived in solitude for 20 years only later to return to the common life of the Cenobium.  While praising the anchoritic life and its possibilities for ardent prayer, Abba Paul states that the common life is marked with the evangelical disregard for the morrow and submission to the elder.  Those living the common life are able to share the labor and a monastery becomes self-sufficient, allowing the monks simply to focus upon fulfilling the rule daily undisturbed.  Living in obedience to an elder they also are able to better address the scourge of the anchoritic life which is being tempted by pride and vainglory.  Anchorites often run the risk of becoming overly occupied with food and possessions since they do not have the common life to support them. Furthermore, anchorites are often besieged by visitors seeking counsel and do not have the enclosure to protect their solitude.   In any case, Abba Paul tells them that perfection in either life is a rare thing.  The end of the cenobite is to put to death and to crucify all his desires and, in accordance with the Gospel precept to have no thought for the next day . . . But the perfection of the of the hermit is to have a mind bare of all earthly things and, as much as human frailty permits, to unite it with Christ.   Even after 20 years of solitude, Abba Paul return to the Cenobium; having seen fault lines in his own heart - worldly or carnal desires that he believed only the discipline of the common life could address.  In the end, the cenobitic life was the "safer" path for him. This conference like the last begins with a profound example of patience; unlike anything Cassian or Germanus had seen in their previous monastery and that must have deeply humbled these two travelers who had only spent 2 years in a monastery prior to seeking out the perfection of the East.  A young monk bears a slap from one of the elders that echoed so loudly as to be heard and felt physically by the 200 monks gathered to celebrated the death anniversary of a former abba of the monastery.  Not only did the young monk bear the humiliation patiently but with no physical or emotional sign of disturbance.  How could Cassian and Germanus failed to be humbled in their pursuit of the ideal of solitude while confronted with the perfection of the cenobitic life unlike anything they encountered before? A lengthy discussion ensued about how such teaching applies to the life and formation of those living in the world.  What comes into sharp focus regardless of the specific path taken is the need to have Christ and the pursuit of purity of heart at the center of one's life and shaping its contours.  Truly one may live in the world but one must not be of the world or shaped by it.  How starkly different must the Christian life be in comparison to the secular!!

We come to the conclusion of Conference 18, struck both by the beauty of the wisdom put forward and the fearfulness of its warning.  The example of the perfect patience and long suffering of the young monk Paphnutius described at our last meeting is followed by an explication of the most dangerous of sins - spiritual envy.  The poison of this serpent's bite knows no remedy - for the sting of the serpent goes unseen and unfelt and remains hidden by an otherwise virtuous life.  "What would you do in the case of a person who is offended by the very fact that he sees that you are humbler and kinder . . . ?"  The hatred of the good and the desire to destroy it can be hidden within the pursuit of holiness itself.  No guidance from even the wisest of elders can draw out the poison.  Only the action of God's grace can and in the fashion of the love and suffering of the cross.  When the one offended suffers at the sight of the sin in the other, not in judgment but in compassion. Who sees the deep wounds, trembles and weeps and then offers his own life in reparation; absorbing the poison even at great costs (including death) not simply to contain the poison but to transform it through a Godly love.   A lengthy discussion ensued regarding the deep wounds the faithful have suffered at the hands of the shepherds and what can possibly bring healing to a flock that has been ravaged.  Once again, the humble embrace of the mystery of the Cross stands before us in all its fearsome splendor.

Living in the desert, having access to a holy elder, and being surrounded by those of great virtue is not a guarantee that one will grow in humility and patience.  The true battle ground is within the heart and the fierce struggle that must take place is with one's own dispositions.  The Christian must undergo a decisive change in the way they look at reality and the struggles of life.  The pursuit of holiness and virtue must become the center of consciousness - the frame of reference; as well as an unceasing reliance upon the grace of God through prayer.  The wisdom that must guide us in our reaction to the slights and insults of others must be the wisdom of the cross; the ego must as it were be crucified in love for God and neighbor.  Our natural disposition so often is to defend and strike back rather than to receive with love the hatred of others in such a way that it can be transformed by the love of God.

Cassian's discussion with Abba Piamun about the various kinds of monks stands more as a backdrop to a greater reflection on the necessary virtues of the Christian life; virtues not requiring a retreat to the desert but rather a willingness to retreat into the heart and there do battle to free oneself from the grip of the ego.  Tonight we were presented with a most beauty portrait of humility - the virtue that becomes like the oil used by wrestlers and which allows the rebukes, insults and detraction of others to slide off of us, never being able to take grip of our hearts and pull us down into indignation and anger towards others.  Abba Piamun provides us with the stories of two exemplars of patience and humility that provoke the desire for imitation and help us to understand that the spiritual life is not about leisure or joy in this world.  Trial and affliction shape and sharpen these virtues until they take on the quality God desires.