Now That We're A Family

Today we will be talking about things that come up in marriage that really make you realize you are on a different train of thought than your spouse. You are approaching something from a different perspective. You feel like you are in a more mature place than your spouse when it comes to spiritual or practical things or anything pertaining to life. Some questions we’ve had people ask is - What do I do if I share this conviction and I want our home to have a lot less media in it, but my husband comes home and he turns on and watches TV? What do I do if I don’t see the value in video games, but my husband comes home and he grabs our 10 year old son to rush off to the basement and play their video games? How do I get my husband to stop drinking alcohol? How do I get my spouse to embrace this value system? Maybe you shared a value system when you first got married and now you’re off in an area and you don’t have the same vision anymore. From personal experience, what isn’t going to work - nagging, disrespect and disapproval. If they don’t truly share the same resolve or desire over something, you can’t force that. We all have things like this in our marriage because the Lord is leading us all in different ways. With some people, the change comes sooner and maybe He uses us to infuse that fresh perspective into our spouse’s life. As much as we are one, we have to fight for that unity as we are learning, growing and maturing at different paces all throughout life. Prayer is the number one thing. The Lord does the work! Every big thing in our marriage up to this point, we cared so much that we really had to pray a lot. The Lord always did the work in each of our hearts. We gave each other space and loved each other with an unconditional love in the meantime. We loved each other no matter what and this differing of opinion was not going to change that. The health or joy of our marriage and home isn’t going to be changed if you don’t agree with me on this issue. We have to give whatever it is to the Lord and have Him change our heart first and be able to let go of what this ideal is in our mind. My marriage is more important than this ideal. There is so much power in prayer!Books mentioned in video: - The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger - https://amzn.to/3lAfEWx- How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie -  https://amzn.to/3IlV1pJ - Top 5 Tuesday Join our weekly email list to keep up to date with the highlights of what is going on in our family life. https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com/site/about - Looking for more Now That We're A Family resources? We got 'em! Website: https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nowthatwereafamily/ OUR FAMILY MUSIC ACADEMY: https://www.voetbergmusicacademy.comIs your life just too complicated to ever feel peaceful? Check out Katie's Free Home Management Masterclass: https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com/get-it-all-done-club

Today we’re talking about some of the biggest pitfalls around big families or families in general, as well as some warning flags that the health of your family may not really be that healthy in the long term. It may show up later if we are not in tune to some of these little stages of development or some pitfalls that we can fall into as parents or overlook when it comes to raising our children. If we see themes that are consistently showing up in families where the children aren’t talking to or resenting their parents as adults, we start to question what can we do when it comes to parenting our own children that sets us up for having a rich, encouraging relationship for life and our children not feeling like we messed them up. These are just some things that have stuck out to us. It is extremely necessary to be vigilant as a parent day in and day out. If the Lord has given us these children to steward, He is also going to give us the grace and wisdom to be able to raise them. Once we become a parent, we are always a parent. It’s not over at 18 or when our children get married and leave the home. A parent that is always there when you need them is an incredible gift to a child at any stage of life. We think the number one pitfall in families is ultimately parents who don’t have a humility before Christ and a dependency upon Him and think that they have all the answers. God is the only one who can guide us in this way with our kids. It’s not a program or more people would be doing it right. Parenting is a big, long and exciting journey. It’s filled with so much joy, as well as so much unknown as to what is going to happen. Being aware of these pitfalls and warnings can hopefully help you along the way to be a successful parent in the days ahead! Things mentioned in the video:  - "The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts" by Gary Chapman -https://amzn.to/40rH6FV - Screen Free Family Evening Routine // Winter 2023 //Family of Six -https://youtu.be/9j0nx8P6O10 - "When your Child is 6 to 12" by John Drescher - https://amzn.to/3HjZ3NF- Chad and Jenise Johnson's (Katie's parents) Newlywed Workshop -https://newlywedcoaching.com Bible passages on parenting: - Deuteronomy 6:7 - "And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up." - Proverbs 22:6 - "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." - Ephesians 6:4 - "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." - Top 5 Tuesday Join our weekly email list to keep up to date with the highlights of what is going on in our family life. https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com/site/about - Looking for more Now That We're A Family resources? We got 'em! Website: https://www.nowthatwereafamily.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/nowthatwereafamily/OUR FAMILY MUSIC ACADEMY: https://www.voetbergmusicacademy.com - Is your life just too complicated to ever feel peaceful? Check out Katie's: https://getitalldoneclub.com

Alex Goodings is a Christian, wife, lives in Arizona and is a mother to 7 living children and 4 in Heaven. She has a little mini homestead and homeschools her children. Today Alex shares her testimony of how she came to know Christ as her personal Savior and her journey through infertility. She is able to share from so much life experience and from various things that the Lord has taught her in her journey of faith, motherhood and being a wife. We hope you are blessed and encouraged like we were hearing about God’s goodness and grace in the midst of times of joy and heartache. You can learn more and follow along in Alex's journey through the resources below: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/growinggoodings/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@growinggoodings Blog: http://momsguidetogod.com If you would like to watch today's episode on YouTube click below:https://youtu.be/HO4Cu8smob0- Top 5 Tuesday Join our weekly email list to keep up to date with the highlights of what is going on in our family life.https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com/site/about- Looking for more Now That We're A Family resources? We got 'em! Website: https://www.nowthatwereafamily.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/nowthatwereafamily/OUR FAMILY MUSIC ACADEMY: https://www.voetbergmusicacademy.comIs your life just too complicated to ever feel peaceful? Check out Katie's: https://getitalldoneclub.com

Today we are talking about how Katie’s pregnancy has been so far with baby #5 and answering questions that you have asked us! This pregnancy has felt different than our other ones since we had a miscarriage this past summer. It is remarkable how that really changed our perspective in regards to the preciousness of life. We have always loved our children, but we were so much more grateful for them when we saw the reality that nothing is guaranteed. Our overall childrearing experience has been so positive in every aspect that when we lost that baby this summer, it really made us have to trust God’s sovereignty in a challenging way. It gave us so much more admiration and respect for people who have been through real loss and challenging things in their life and in the midst of it, they trust the Lord in His goodness and sovereignty. We are really excited about this fifth pregnancy and trusting that the Lord has given us this baby and we’ll see it through to completion. We’re so happy to celebrate this baby with all of you! Past podcast mentioned: https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com/podcasts/now-that-we-re-a-family-10/episodes/2147567944 Information about Katie's NeoLife health supplements: Website: https://www.nowthatimamotherhealth.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/nowthatimamother.health/Top 5 Tuesday Join our weekly email list to keep up to date with the highlights of what is going on in our family life.https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com/site/aboutLooking for more Now That We're A Family resources? We got 'em! Website: https://www.nowthatwereafamily.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/nowthatwereafamily/OUR FAMILY MUSIC ACADEMY: https://www.voetbergmusicacademy.comIs your life just too complicated to ever feel peaceful? Check out Katie's: https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com/get-it-all-done-club

Elizabeth Parsons, wife and mother of 5 and mainly known as purelyparsons on Instagram, has been sharing since 2019. Her passion is to speak life into motherhood and to help moms feel empowered to care for their children at home. She was traditionally trained as a pediatric nurse and worked inside the walls of the hospital for almost a decade before coming home full time in 2020 to be with her children. Elizabeth shares a lot of faith, motherhood, homeschooling, and natural remedies. It’s her daily prayer to use her Instagram platform for God’s glory. Two health and wellness goals she would have for each of us to start this year off, would be: 1. Move your body every day - even if it’s just a 30 minute walk - get moving! 2. Start reading labels - If you don’t know what something is, look it up and become informed! You can find more from Elizabeth on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/purelyparsons/. She has hundreds of hours worth of highlights saved over the years. Her website is https://www.purelyparsons.com where she sells organic elderberry kits, as well as other things like detox bath kids and face serum. She also talks more about faith, child immunizations, oils and has a blog full of information as well. - Top 5 Tuesday Join our weekly email list to keep up to date with the highlights of what is going on in our family life. https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com/site/aboutLooking for more Now That We're A Family resources? We got 'em! Website: https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nowthatwereafamily/ OUR FAMILY MUSIC ACADEMY: https://www.voetbergmusicacademy.com Is your life just too complicated to ever feel peaceful? Check out Katie's: https://getitalldoneclub.com  

Today we are talking about Christian masculinity, Godly masculinity and Godly manhood - what it should and should not look like. Is there a template we can model our lives after as men or is it vague? Is it subjective? Is it to each his own? It wasn’t until I started having sons that I really started caring about Christian masculinity and what that looked like. As time has gone on and I’ve wanted to put my finger on what leading my sons in a Godly way should look like, it’s become more and more difficult to find role models or teaching that are both Biblically sound and practical. We need to realize what God has for men. What is the Godly standard? I have been going to the Proverbs recently and it has been so enlightening as to what God wants men to be. It was so empowering to see God’s wisdom on display here in such practical way. All of the Proverbs are so good in regards to being a godly, masculine man, good husband, good church member, and a good father. Men of God love instruction. They love being taught. They love being given wisdom. They love learning. They love finding knowledge and seeking it as hidden treasures. Going to the Proverbs and seeing God’s wisdom is so practical and applicable. This has been a huge blessing! I encourage you to go and start reading it today! -ElishaMentioned in this podcast: The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Laura Schlessinger - https://amzn.to/3IBZbdQ Episode 159: Why Every Christian Family Should Homeschool with Retired Navy Seal, Bill Rapier - https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com/podcasts/now-that-we-re-a-family-10/episodes/2147736914 Sign up for The Growth Initiative here - https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com/thegrowthinitiative Top 5 Tuesday: Join our weekly email list to keep up to date with the highlights of what is going on in our family life - https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com/site/about  Looking for more Now That We're A Family resources? We got 'em! Website: https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nowthatwereafamily/ OUR FAMILY MUSIC ACADEMY: https://www.voetbergmusicacademy.com Is your life just too complicated to ever feel peaceful? Check out Katie's: https://getitalldoneclub.com

Today, we look back on 2022 and also vision cast for 2023! It’s always fun to be able to look back on what God has done the past year and project where you hope His vision is for the new year. Elisha also shares his dream board from 2022! What exactly is a dream board?? It is when you sit down and analyze your thoughts, goals, and direction you want to be going in, in the new year. You then find photos to really support and remind you of those things throughout the year, print them out and attach them to a board and place it somewhere that you will see it often. “A man's heart deviseth his way: but the Lord directeth his steps.” Proverbs 16:9 We are called to plan our way, and also have open hands for the Lord to direct! At the end of a year/season/month, etc., before you start planning, take time to look back and reflect and acknowledge the blessings the Lord gave you and bestowed upon you. Count the wins in your life and remember His faithfulness and goodness! Things mentioned on podcast: The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis - https://amzn.to/3jLOoDc Sign up now and join the waitlist for The Growth Initiative! - https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com/thegrowthinitiative "To Deserve Your Love" by Elisha Voetberg - https://youtu.be/2ZUlf2k21n4 Looking for more Now That We're A Family resources? We got 'em! Website: https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nowthatwereafamily/ OUR FAMILY MUSIC ACADEMY: https://www.voetbergmusicacademy.com Is your life just too complicated to ever feel peaceful? Check out Katie's: https://getitalldoneclub.com

Joe Voetberg, my father, is my role model and one of my best friends. He is not a front stage guy, but the wealth of knowledge and wisdom that he has is abundant. He is 62 years old, has been married for 40 years and has 10 children and 26 grandchildren so far. 7 of his 10 children are married, and all are serving the Lord in a faithful way. He is also a successful entrepreneur. Today we talk about shepherding the flock in your home and raising them to love, know and serve Jesus. Looking for more Now That We're A Family resources? We got 'em! Website: https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nowthatwereafamily/ OUR FAMILY MUSIC ACADEMY: https://www.voetbergmusicacademy.com Is your life just too complicated to ever feel peaceful? Check out Katie's: https://getitalldoneclub.com

How do you determine if negative feelings are from hormone issues or a sinful nature? When it comes to feelings, feelings are a physiological response to something. It’s an emotion. It’s in our body. We can’t necessarily control where feelings come from (ie. hunger). It’s not a sin to just feel a feeling. It’s what we do with that feeling that makes it sinful or not. Hormone issues can be a root of a feeling that’s sinful or a feeling that we have to surrender to the Lord, move past and choose not to act on or wallow in. There is a definitive line that is hard to identify for us humans as to when it crosses over to sin. Clearly we are told in the Bible that Jesus was tempted as every man’s been tempted and yet He was without sin. That makes it very clear that being tempted is not sining. It’s obviously a sin when you act out in those things though. A defining characteristic of Christians is that we are not bondage to our bodies anymore in Christ. We’ve been set free from any captivity that our bodies had over us prior to Christ. Our old man is dead. We are new creations in Christ. We came to Christ in faith and are now no longer slaves to sin, but we are redeemed in Christ’s righteousness. We are learning and growing as Christians every day. The Bible tells us to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior. Growth is a part of being a Christian. “A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished.” - Proverbs 22:3 What’s one vice that you’re always praying to overcome? A scary thing a lot of Christians do is categorize various big sins like pornography, drunkenness and adultery and think that you’re good if you haven’t done those things. God’s standard is so much higher than these overt sins we like to categorize. How do you overcome your vice? If it’s a conviction thing then you need to bring it to the Lord and know that you’re free to walk away from it. There are many things that aren’t a sin unless you make it a sin. One things that has been helpful is being clear on what we actually want our life to look like and then being proactive and spending our time doing that instead. If you’re passionate and excited about that thing, then you won’t have the time to do those other things that were consuming your life and becoming a vice. In our Christian walk, we should be thinking about who we are turning towards, instead of what we are turning away from. It is very easy to wallow in the sin of what we did today and the sin of the past. We have to be daily turning towards Christ. The only freedom from any vice is going to be found in Jesus Christ, in what He’s accomplished and who He is! “Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith” - Hebrews 12:2 - Looking for more Now That We're A Family resources? We got 'em! Website: https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nowthatwereafamily/ OUR FAMILY MUSIC ACADEMY: https://www.voetbergmusicacademy.com Is your life just too complicated to ever feel peaceful? Check out Katie's: https://getitalldoneclub.com

What are the benefits of courting and how to talk to family members who think your child should be allowed to date? We had a 10 month courtship (our first time around) and then a typical dating relationship later. We would not necessarily recommend courting, or at least the way we did it. We don’t want the dating model for our children though either. It’s not to say that a lot of harm can be avoided, but we think it can be so uptight and intense. It can also lead to not developing a great friendship or ground level relationship before you dive into marriage. Getting alone to have one-on-one raw, meaty conversations is a healthy part to getting to know someone before deciding to spend the rest of your life with them. We think it’s more helpful for the guy and girl to explore a relationship together in terms of hanging out a couple times together, asking people who know them questions, asking each other questions, seeing if your personalities connect, seeing if you have fun together, and ultimately, seeing if you want to make this work in the infancy of the relationship. After you’ve done that and you think this person is worth fighting for, then bring them into the family and start putting them through the paces. I think when you put them through the paces before both people are even sure they want to pursue the relationship, it can just really muddle the emotion and be very stressful on everyone involved. If you want to be married to someone of integrity, someone who protects, cherishes and is faithful and loyal to you, you would want there to be this open line of exhortation and discernment from the parents as soon as possible. We think courtship can be a beautiful thing, if you realize as the parent that you are the counselor and your adult child needs to make their own decisions and come to you and you don’t try to control the situation. We want to raise our children in a way that they value our opinion and discernment and be able to trust them, trust their standards and desires for a relationship and marriage. To answer the second question, our parents would say, children don’t need to date. You date to get married. When our child is old enough, an adult and ready to get married, then that’s when they will date. When the time or person is right, then we would definitely encourage them to date. You also don’t need to answer to anyone how you parent your children. You answer to God. To sum it all up, we aren’t bitter at courting and don’t think dating is great. We are somewhere in the middle! :) - Looking for more Now That We're A Family resources? We got 'em! Website: https://www.nowthatwereafamily.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nowthatwereafamily/ OUR FAMILY MUSIC ACADEMY: https://www.voetbergmusicacademy.com Is your life just too complicated to ever feel peaceful? Check out Katie's: https://getitalldoneclub.com