Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast

Today I have an on air session with Faith Eury Cho.  Faith and I talk about a difficult season she went through when everything was falling apart and it seemed like she had no one to blame but herself. We talk through the concept of self-blame, where it comes from, and how we can begin to take ownership of what’s ours to own vs. what’s not!  In this one-air counseling session we talk through the details of her childhood, her Korean-American upbringing, increasing our expectations of God, and learning to let others own what belongs to them. We process why it’s so easy for her to take more blame and responsibility on her shoulders than she deserves.  Listen to this powerful session with Faith, and as you do, ask yourself where you might need to “shift” some of the responsibility and ownership in your life in healthy ways.  Tune in now! Additional Ways To Listen: iHEART RADIO Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast Extras: The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY!  DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast (formerly the Love + Relationships Podcast) where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today I have an on air session with Havilah Cunnington. Havilah and I talk through the crisis that happens when people of faith go through a significant mental illness! Having come from a church background where mental illness was denied or simply seen as an attack from the enemy — the solutions that were given to her were to pray more and confess more. But what happens when those solutions don’t work? What happens when you are plagued by depression and anxiety? In this one-air counseling session we talk through the details of the darkest season she walked through in her life… And how she got out the other side. We affirm the importance of Jesus plus therapy and medication as needed. Listen to this powerful session with Havilah, and as you do, ask yourself where you might need to take next steps in your own healing journey. Tune in now! Additional Ways To Listen: iHEART RADIO Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast Extras: The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY!  DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast (formerly the Love + Relationships Podcast) where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anh Lin, a content creator and interior designer, shares her journey navigating a complicated relationship with her mother. She discusses enmeshment and codependency, questioning how to care for family while recognizing toxicity. The conversation explores the importance of setting boundaries, embracing emotional healing, and transforming familial dynamics. Anh highlights how personal growth can flourish even amid challenging relationships, and she emphasizes the liberating journey of learning to love from a distance.

Today on Talk To Me, I’m having an on-air counseling session with Joshua Broome, a former male porn star. We talk about the struggles of life working the adult industry, and the road that led him there for many years. Josh opens up about his absent relationship with his father, and how that impacted him in ways he didn’t even realize. we talk about the forming of identity and value, and the many things that can get in the way of believing the truth about who we are. It’s a powerful conversation about letting go of shame, and dealing with the pain of the past. if there is anything in your past that still haunts you today, I know his counseling session will inspire and challenge you to deal with your past and be freed from your past. Tune in now! Additional Ways To Listen: iHEART RADIO Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast Extras: The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY!  DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast (formerly the Love + Relationships Podcast) where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Former contestant on The Bachelor, Madison Prewett Troutt, discusses the massive amount of pressure she faced on the show and how it connects to her lifelong experiences. They explore breaking free from people pleasing and unhealthy beliefs, making it relatable for those struggling with insecurity and feeling like they never measure up.

I am excited to start 2024 with a bang! Thanks to your love and support, the podcast has grown into something that I never could have imagined and together we’ve been able to reach millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Thank you so much for being a part of our journey! On January 1st, The Love + Relationships Podcast is getting a little makeover to reach even more people with our message of hope! The show will be renamed, Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast. The purpose of this podcast is to have on-air authentic counseling-style sessions where we talk about how people are really doing and give my guests and callers the opportunity to talk to me as a licensed professional counselor. Each of these episodes is meant to show you that we are all on a journey of healing—mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally, together. So if you’re ready… Let’s talk. DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast answering listener questions about love, relationships, and mental and emotional health. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When today’s question came in on the Love + Relationships Hotline asking about tips and tricks to managing the early years of marriage, I had to get my friends Ryan and Selena Frederick to join me in tag-teaming this one. Ryan and Selena run an amazing ministry called Fierce Marriage, and they are passionate about honoring God through the ministry of marriage. Today we talk through what it looks like to get through those early years of marriage and come out stronger on the other side. They open their heart in talking about confession, vulnerability, and intimacy in marriage through all areas of their life, and we spend some time talking about how they dealt with the intruder of pornography in their relationship. This episode will encourage and inspire you in your current marriage, and help you dream about your future marriage. Tune in to today’s episode of the Love + Relationships Podcast and subscribe to the show by clicking on the button below! SUBSCRIBE AND LISTEN ON iTUNES BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: SPOTIFY – iHEART RADIO Love + Relationships Podcast Extras: BOOKS BY DEBRA Get busy learning what you need to know about healthy singleness, dating, and marriage. Check out Love In Every Season: The Four Stages of Every Healthy Relationship, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me or True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life. The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY!  DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast answering listener questions about love, relationships, and mental and emotional health. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re continuing our Marriage series with the bad relationship advice that says, “A happy wife makes a happy life”.  I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve heard this bad relationship advice. It’s advice that has been used as one of the most common approaches in relationships. But why is this bad relationship advice, and what advice is actually BETTER when it comes to how we approach marriage?  Happy Wife Makes A Happy Life? This short, 5-minute episode will offer you a counter perspective to this common advice, and challenge you to see things differently when it comes to marriage and relationships. In this short episode, we cover: Why this is bad advice. Talk about how this advice encourages passivity. What happens when we follow this advice and why it forms one-sided relationships. How to approach marriage from a healthier perspective. Learning to adapt a mutual model in marriage. The BETTER formula to apply instead of Happy Wife = Happy Life I hope this episode encourages you and challenges you to say no to this bad relationship advice! Tune in to today’s episode of the Love + Relationships Podcast and subscribe to the show by clicking on the button below! SUBSCRIBE AND LISTEN ON iTUNES BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: SPOTIFY – iHEART RADIO Love + Relationships Podcast Extras: BOOKS BY DEBRA Get busy learning what you need to know about healthy singleness, dating, and marriage. Check out Love In Every Season: The Four Stages of Every Healthy Relationship, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me or True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life. The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY!  DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast answering listener questions about love, relationships, and mental and emotional health. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“You need to go on a weekly date night outside of the house every single week to keep your marriage strong….” I remember the first time I ever heard that phrase. My husband and I were married with an infant and a toddler at the time, born only 20 short months apart, trying to survive the madness of parenting young children.  I was staying at home with the kids 6 out of the 7 days a week and also working desperately to complete my very first book, and John was halfway through his extremely busy medical residency. Needless to say, we were short on cash, short on energy, and short on time.  As much as I wanted to have “one date night out a week”, to be completely honest with you, it was nearly impossible. Trying to find a babysitter we trusted, find time in his crazy schedule, and then fork out the minimum $100 dollars to cover dinner and a sitter just seemed way out of our “weekly” budget. Heck, I was trying to simply stay under $100/week for groceries, much less a date night.  So when I heard those words coming from a trusted leader at the time, my heart kinda sank. We’re doomed, I thought to myself.  Over the next few years, I’ve actually heard that phrase many-a-time in sermons, books (not mine!), and even in one-on-one conversations. On one hand, I absolutely agree that couples need focused time carved out in their week for one another. But on the other hand, the traditional thought of a “date night out” can really amount to a lot of pressure. Especially when you’re in the stage of having young children.  If you want my personal opinion, the idea that you HAVE to go out every single week in order to keep your marriage strong is actually a harmful idea. The expectation for fancy date nights out, fine dining and dancing, or whatever it is you put on your list, is not only impossible (and unwise) for some people’s budgets, but doesn’t always work out in the daily grind of life (finding a sitter, collaborating schedules, etc).  And trying to meet unrealistic expectations can leave one or both partners feeling disappointed, bitter, and discouraged in their marriage. DATE NIGHT IN NOT DATE NIGHT OUT Healthy marriages don’t hinge on going out, but on going IN. Connecting with one another on a deep and meaningful way. In today’s episode I’m going to tell you what it means to “go in” in your relationship. Also, after you listen to this episode, make sure to tune in to 10 Date Night In Ideas….hopefully they inspire you to take the time to go in with your relationship! SUBSCRIBE AND LISTEN ON iTUNES BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: SPOTIFY – iHEART RADIO Love + Relationships Podcast Extras: BOOKS BY DEBRA Get busy learning what you need to know about healthy singleness, dating, and marriage. Check out Love In Every Season: The Four Stages of Every Healthy Relationship, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me or True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life. The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY!  DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast answering listener questions about love, relationships, and mental and emotional health. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Marriage should make you happy. That’s the relationship advice we hear all the time. But is it even true? How much weight do we need to put on our happiness? What is the secret ingredient to creating happiness in marriage? Does happiness create a good marriage, or does a good marriage create happiness? And what happens when you’re not happy? Is it even realistic to say we’re going to be happy all the time in marriage?  We need to take the time to evaluate this relationship advice, and make sure we’re questioning it and seeing it for what it’s worth. Marriage Should Make You Happy — or Should It? Today, my friend, pastor, and bestselling author of Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas, helps me tackle this important bad relationship advice, because it’s advice that’s hurting many marriages. We’re going to take a look at both scripture and psychology and get to the root of this bad relationship advice, and offer you a BETTER perspective — a perspective that helps us look at holiness before we look at happiness. Tune in now for today’s discussion! SUBSCRIBE AND LISTEN ON iTUNES BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: SPOTIFY – iHEART RADIO Love + Relationships Podcast Extras: BOOKS BY DEBRA Get busy learning what you need to know about healthy singleness, dating, and marriage. Check out Love In Every Season: The Four Stages of Every Healthy Relationship, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me or True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life. The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY!  DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast answering listener questions about love, relationships, and mental and emotional health. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices