Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast

Have you ever been through a hard time in your life where you thought to yourself, “This is not what I wanted my life to look like. This is NOT what I expected.”  What happens when life doesn’t turn out how you planned? How do you navigate those hard times of hopelessness and discouragement, when you feel stuck in a life that you never expected.  Maybe your hard time is that you just went through the heartbreaking loss of a failed or broken relationship.  Maybe you’re single, and your hard time is that you thought FOR SURE you’d be married by now, but find that instead, you’re struggling with loneliness and discouragement.  Maybe your hard time right now is walking through grief, or loss, or illness…and you find yourself asking why.  Today’s guests went through their own difficult journey of asking why. After the tragic untimely deaths of their respective spouses, Brittany Price and Daniel Brooker each found themselves as a young widow/widower – dealing with their own individual journey’s of grief, and pain, and heartache, and loss…a loss that ultimately brought them together in remarriage. This is an incredible story of two broken hearts, who never let go of Hope. Their story encouraged me during one of my darkest times and I know it will encourage you. When Life Doesn’t Turn Out How You Planned In this special episode we cover: The details of their journey of grief and loss and the heartbreaking experience of losing their first loves. (I about lost it, hearing their stories you guys!) Their honest and candid truths about the hardest part of remarriage and blending families. Their best advice for anyone who is considering remarriage. Some incredible encouragement for ANYONE who is dealing with a hard time in life. How the past can be paralyzing, and the importance of taking steps to move forward in healing. Learning to shift your perspective from WHY to WHAT as a way to deal with grief and loss. The importance of gratitude in the midst of suffering. Why mentorship is a critical part of the healthy life. Learning to trust God and cling to His Word in the midst of hard times. Remembering God’s faithfulness and goodness through it all – and how he can redeem every story and every situation. Single, dating, or married this show has something for you. Bring the tissues. Grab your notebook, and get ready to write down the nuggets of truth from this inspiring and challenging episode. SUBSCRIBE AND LISTEN ON iTUNES BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER Want to be on the Love + Relationships Podcast?  Go to truelovedates.com/loveandrelationships/ to learn more. Resources Mentioned on the Love + Relationships Podcast and Additional Show Notes: Connect with Brittany and Daniel on Instagram @BrittanyPriceBrooker and @DanielOBrooker. Brittany was so sweet to give a shout out to my book, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me. I’m so grateful to hear how it’s encouraged her on this journey of marriage, and I pray it will encourage your heart as well as you learn to give out of your overflow. Pick up a copy for you or someone you know who needs some perspective and encouragement on what it looks like to choose marriage on a daily basis, and why it’s worth it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Q: “Hey Debra, I’d love to hear your thoughts about if and how birth order impacts a relationship”.  A: Are you the oldest child, middle child, or the baby of your family? Believe it or not, how you answer that question will actually have a significant impact on the type of person you turn out to be – as well as how you do relationships. Your birth order can have a significant impact on your love life, so it’s important to understand the dynamics that are at play.  In this episode of the LOVE + RELATIONSHIPS PODCAST, I’m joined by two of my friends and leading marriage voices in the country, Dave and Ashley Willis from Marriage Today. Together, Dave, Ashley and I talk through what we know about birth order – why it’s an actual thing, and how we’ve seen it impact relationships. In this episode, we talk through: Birth Order Episode: We cover the characteristics of a first born child (or only child), including strengths and weaknesses. The three of us talk through characteristics of a middle child, including strengths and weaknesses. We discuss characteristics of a the baby of the family, including strengths and weaknesses. What it’s like to be a first born married to a first born (Interesting to note, everyone on this episode is a first born!) A hilarious story of how the Willis’ totally played into the middle child stereotype with their middle child. Some interesting look at an informal survey I took revealing the birth order we tend to be attracted to in relationships. How to deal with opposite characteristics of birth order in relationships, because this is an issue that often comes up. The caveats that need to be addressed when discussing birth order. Tune in today for a super fun and informative episode, so I hope you’ll take the time to tune in to our conversation and find out the strengths and weaknesses of YOUR specific birth order – and how it might be impacting your closest relationships. Want to be on the Love + Relationships Podcast?  Go to truelovedates.com/loveandrelationships/ to submit your question and learn more. SUBSCRIBE AND LISTEN ON iTUNES BY CLICKING HERE Resources Mentioned on the Love + Relationships Podcast and Additional Show Notes: Dave and Ashley Willis have become some of America’s most trusted teachers on marriage. Their books, blogs, videos and speaking events reach millions of couples worldwide. They are part of the team at XO Marriage and MarriageToday, which is the largest marriage-focused ministry in the USA. Dave and Ashley have four young sons and live near Dallas, Texas. For another incredible resource check out Dr. Lehman’s book: The Birth Order Book, and get an in-depth look at the intricacies of birth order. For another fun episode of the Love + Relationships Podcast check out: Oversharing in Relationships – 10 Things Not To Talk About Too Soon BOOKS BY DEBRA– Get busy learning what you need to know about healthy singleness, dating, and marriage. Check out Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life, or Love In Every Season. DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast answering listener questions about love, relationships, and mental and emotional health. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you think about communication in marriage, what comes to mind? When I was gathering data for my book, Choosing Marriage, I asked singles to tell me how much time they thought married couples spend in quality communication each week. Then, I surveyed married couples asking them how much time they spend in quality communication each week…and the different answers that came in were almost laughable (I tell you all about the stats it in this episode and why married couples aren’t actually talking!) There was such a drastic difference between what singles thought communication in marriage looked like, vs. what married people actually reported communication in marriage to be.  But there are so many things that get in the way of communication in marriage. Life. Jobs. Kids. If we’re not constantly trying to move together in marriage, we’ll find ourselves moving apart. MARRIAGE COUNSELORS TALKING ABOUT REAL COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGE In today’s episode, I’m joined by my dear friend and marriage counselor, Dr. Kim Kimberling. We cover some of these issues that can come up with communication and connection in marriage. We talk about our own respective marriages, some of the challenges and successes we face when it comes to communication in marriage. We talk about child-centric homes, why they’re dangerous to marriage, and what to do about it. How to set some boundaries with your kids so you can enrich your marriage. We talk about some steps you can take to build your marriage or restore it when you’re feeling off-track. Why most married couples aren’t spending enough time together, and how to make it happen. We talk about the importance of the first 10-minutes of contact with your spouse. We talk about who should initiate communication and why it matters. We also share some ways we stay connected to our spouses and some practices that you can apply to your marriage to stay connected….and so much more! This episode is so full of amazing conversation and insight. You’re going to love it! Whether you’re single, or married, or somewhere in between – take the time to tune into today’s episode. Resources Mentioned on the Podcast and Additional Show Notes: Be sure to connect with today’s guest, Dr. Kim Kimberling and all his encouraging marriage resources at AwesomeMarriage.com. And be sure to check out his new book, 14 Keys To Lasting Love: How To Have The Marriage You’ve Always Wanted Learn more about communication by checking out this article: You Have Walls, And They’re Keeping People Out. The Truth About Communication in Marriage. BOOKS BY DEBRA– Get busy learning what you need to know about healthy singleness, dating, and marriage. Check out Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me, True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life, or Love In Every Season. DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast answering listener questions about love, relationships, and mental and emotional health. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is there something in your life you want to change? I sure hope so, because healthy people are always on the trajectory of learning, and growing, and healing.  Maybe it’s your negative thinking that’s keeping you stuck.  Maybe you find your emotions are overwhelming you with fear, hopelessness, shame, anxiety, or depression.  Maybe you’re struggling in your relationship with God.  Maybe it’s your relationship with food.  Maybe you’re stuck in a pattern of unhealthy relationships.  Maybe it’s behaviors that are sabotaging your life like an addiction or unhealthy habits.  It could be your attitude, your mindset, or your perspective on life that needs to shift.  Whatever it is – in order for change to happen, it has to start from the inside out.  My new book RESET is all about getting healthy from the inside out. It’s a book of 31 practices that will guide you into the process of healing, by giving you practical steps that will transform your life with changes that last.   In honor of my new book, over the next few weeks, we’re diving into different areas of your life that might be in need of a RESET.  We’ll be talking through everything from unhealthy thinking, to your relationship with God, to your marriage, trauma history, body image, boundaries, and everything in between. We’re going on a journey of resetting from our default mode, and learning to do it differently!  ___ Today’s conversation is for anyone who struggles with negative or worst case scenario thinking. This type of thought process is usually rooted in something deeper — and this insightful conversation with Roosevelt will help you get to the roots in your own life. I’m believing this conversation will not only open your eyes, but help you begin to break free from these types of thoughts. Tune in today! _______ RESET: Powerful habits to own your thoughts, understand your feelings, and change your life. Purchase your copy TODAY anywhere books are sold! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage, True Love Dates, Love In Every Season, Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast answering listener questions about love, relationships, and mental and emotional health. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is there something in your life you want to change? I sure hope so, because healthy people are always on the trajectory of learning, and growing, and healing. Maybe it’s your negative thinking that’s keeping you stuck.  Maybe you find your emotions are overwhelming you with fear, hopelessness, shame, anxiety, or depression.  Maybe you’re struggling in your relationship with God.  Maybe you’re stuck in a pattern of unhealthy relationships.  Maybe it’s behaviors that are sabotaging your life like an addiction or unhealthy habits.  It could be your attitude, your mindset, or your perspective on life that needs to shift.  Whatever it is – in order for change to happen, it has to start from the inside out.  My new book RESET is all about getting healthy from the inside out. It’s a book of 31 practices that will guide you into the process of healing, by giving you practical steps that will transform your life with changes that last.   In honor of my new book, over the next few weeks, we’re diving into different areas of your life that might be in need of a RESET.  We’ll be talking through everything from unhealthy thinking, to your relationship with God, to your marriage, trauma history, body image, boundaries, and everything in between. We’re going on a journey of resetting from our default mode, and learning to do it differently!  ___ Today we talk to a couple with a remarkable story. After years of functioning in an unhealthy marriage, they reached the lowest point… and ultimately got a divorce. During that period of time, things begin to change and shift. And as God healed them on an individual level… They were eventually reunited again in marriage. Their story is powerful, and a testament to God can do when we trust him with our individual healing. If you are struggling in relationships today… The best thing you can do is get yourself healthy, standing alone. Take some time to listen to this incredible story… and be inspired to reset in your own life. RESET: Powerful habits to own your thoughts, understand your feelings, and change your life is officially available TODAY anywhere books are sold!!! Grab a copy for you and someone you love and let’s begin to DO IT DIFFERENTLY. DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season, Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast answering listener questions about love, relationships, and mental and emotional health. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is there something in your life you want to change? I sure hope so, because healthy people are always on the trajectory of learning, and growing, and healing.  Maybe it’s your negative thinking that’s keeping you stuck.  Maybe you find your emotions are overwhelming you with fear, hopelessness, shame, anxiety, or depression.  Maybe you’re struggling in your relationship with God.  Maybe you’re stuck in a pattern of unhealthy relationships.  Maybe it’s behaviors that are sabotaging your life like an addiction or unhealthy habits.  It could be your attitude, your mindset, or your perspective on life that needs to shift.  Whatever it is – in order for change to happen, it has to start from the inside out.  My new book RESET is all about getting healthy from the inside out. It’s a book of 31 practices that will guide you into the process of healing, by giving you practical steps that will transform your life with changes that last.   In honor of my new book, over the next few weeks, we’re diving into different areas of your life that might be in need of a RESET.  We’ll be talking through everything from unhealthy thinking, to your relationship with God, to your marriage, trauma history, body image, boundaries, and everything in between. We’re going on a journey of resetting from our default mode, and learning to do it differently!  ___ Today I am talking with Toni Collier about resetting from trauma! If we don’t address it, the trauma from our past will end up making its way into our present. We find ourselves living out of a place of pain, rather than a place of power. Tony has some serious trauma history that ended up ultimately destroying her life from a broken marriage, to addiction, and everything in between. Today we walk through the journey of healing with her, reminding you that healing as possible for you as well!!! If there is any level of trauma in your life, this episode will encourage and inspire you. _______ RESET: Powerful habits to own your thoughts, understand your feelings, and change your life is officially available TODAY anywhere books are sold!!! Grab a copy for you and someone you love and let’s begin to DO IT DIFFERENTLY. DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season, Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast answering listener questions about love, relationships, and mental and emotional health. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is there something in your life you want to change? I sure hope so, because healthy people are always on the trajectory of learning, and growing, and healing.  Maybe it’s your negative thinking that’s keeping you stuck.  Maybe you find your emotions are overwhelming you with fear, hopelessness, shame, anxiety, or depression.  Maybe you’re struggling in your relationship with God.  Maybe it’s your relationship with food.  Maybe you’re stuck in a pattern of unhealthy relationships.  Maybe it’s behaviors that are sabotaging your life like an addiction or unhealthy habits.  It could be your attitude, your mindset, or your perspective on life that needs to shift.  Whatever it is – in order for change to happen, it has to start from the inside out.  My new book RESET is all about getting healthy from the inside out. It’s a book of 31 practices that will guide you into the process of healing, by giving you practical steps that will transform your life with changes that last.   In honor of my new book, over the next few weeks, we’re diving into different areas of your life that might be in need of a RESET.  We’ll be talking through everything from unhealthy thinking, to your relationship with God, to your marriage, trauma history, body image, boundaries, and everything in between. We’re going on a journey of resetting from our default mode, and learning to do it differently!  ___ Insecurity is one of those things a lot of people battle, but it’s some thing we rarely discuss out loud. Today I am talking with Nanette, a woman who has struggled with deep insecurity for much of her life. In our conversation today we trace back the roots of where her insecurity began, why it’s continued into her adulthood, and then I give her practical suggestions to walk in freedom and confidence today. If you’ve ever struggled with insecurity or question your value and worth… This episode is for you. _______ RESET: Powerful habits to own your thoughts, understand your feelings, and change your life is officially available TODAY anywhere books are sold!!! Grab a copy for you and someone you love and let’s begin to DO IT DIFFERENTLY. DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage, True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast answering listener questions about love, relationships, and mental and emotional health. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is there something in your life you want to change? I sure hope so, because healthy people are always on the trajectory of learning, and growing, and healing.  Maybe it’s your negative thinking that’s keeping you stuck.  Maybe you find your emotions are overwhelming you with fear, hopelessness, shame, anxiety, or depression.  Maybe you’re struggling in your relationship with God.  Maybe you’re stuck in a pattern of unhealthy relationships.  Maybe it’s behaviors that are sabotaging your life like an addiction or unhealthy habits.  It could be your attitude, your mindset, or your perspective on life that needs to shift.  Whatever it is – in order for change to happen, it has to start from the inside out.  My new book RESET is all about getting healthy from the inside out. It’s a book of 31 practices that will guide you into the process of healing, by giving you practical steps that will transform your life with changes that last.   In honor of my new book, over the next few weeks, we’re diving into different areas of your life that might be in need of a RESET.  We’ll be talking through everything from unhealthy thinking, to your relationship with God, to your marriage, trauma history, body image, boundaries, and everything in between. We’re going on a journey of resetting from our default mode, and learning to do it differently!  ___ In this weeks episode, I had an incredible conversation with my friend and mentor Christine Caine. We talk about the subtle influence of negative thinking, tracing it back to the roots of the past. Christine shares some of her story and her tendencies to struggle with negative thinking, as well as how she has learned to overcome those things and live in God’s truth. It’s a Powerful episode that will help you reset from negative thinking. _______ RESET: Powerful habits to own your thoughts, understand your feelings, and change your life is officially available TODAY anywhere books are sold!!! Grab a copy for you and someone you love and let’s begin to DO IT DIFFERENTLY. DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season, Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast answering listener questions about love, relationships, and mental and emotional health. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is there something in your life you want to change? I sure hope so, because healthy people are always on the trajectory of learning, and growing, and healing.  Maybe it’s your negative thinking that’s keeping you stuck.  Maybe you find your emotions are overwhelming you with fear, hopelessness, shame, anxiety, or depression.  Maybe you’re struggling in your relationship with God.  Maybe it’s your relationship with food.  Maybe you’re stuck in a pattern of unhealthy relationships.  Maybe it’s behaviors that are sabotaging your life like an addiction or unhealthy habits.  It could be your attitude, your mindset, or your perspective on life that needs to shift.  Whatever it is – in order for change to happen, it has to start from the inside out.  My new book RESET is all about getting healthy from the inside out. It’s a book of 31 practices that will guide you into the process of healing, by giving you practical steps that will transform your life with changes that last.   In honor of my new book, over the next few weeks, we’re diving into different areas of your life that might be in need of a RESET.  We’ll be talking through everything from unhealthy thinking, to your relationship with God, to your marriage, trauma history, body image, boundaries, and everything in between. We’re going on a journey of resetting from our default mode, and learning to do it differently!  ___ Today I’m talking with Sabrina about resetting from grief… Sabrina and her husband have gone through loss after loss in the form of miscarriage, but through our conversation today she realized that the way she has been grieving, has actually brought more heartache into their lives. We can’t make grief go away, but how we respond to grief will make or break our lives. If you have ever felt stuck in grief, whether grief of things lost, dreams that have never come into fruition, or the loss of a loved one… This episode will challenge and encourage you. _______ RESET: Powerful habits to own your thoughts, understand your feelings, and change your life. Purchase your copy TODAY anywhere books are sold! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage, True Love Dates, Love In Every Season, Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast answering listener questions about love, relationships, and mental and emotional health. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is there something in your life you want to change? I sure hope so, because healthy people are always on the trajectory of learning, and growing, and healing.  Maybe it’s your negative thinking that’s keeping you stuck.  Maybe you find your emotions are overwhelming you with fear, hopelessness, shame, anxiety, or depression.  Maybe you’re struggling in your relationship with God.  Maybe you’re stuck in a pattern of unhealthy relationships.  Maybe it’s behaviors that are sabotaging your life like an addiction or unhealthy habits.  It could be your attitude, your mindset, or your perspective on life that needs to shift.  Whatever it is – in order for change to happen, it has to start from the inside out.  My new book RESET is all about getting healthy from the inside out. It’s a book of 31 practices that will guide you into the process of healing, by giving you practical steps that will transform your life with changes that last.   In honor of my new book, over the next few weeks, we’re diving into different areas of your life that might be in need of a RESET.  We’ll be talking through everything from unhealthy thinking, to your relationship with God, to your marriage, trauma history, body image, boundaries, and everything in between. We’re going on a journey of resetting from our default mode, and learning to do it differently!  ___ In today’s episode, I’m having an important conversation with Levi and Jennie Lusko about resetting from bad marriage advice. Throughout life, couples, hear a lot of advice, and it can be hard to sort through which is the good advice and which is the bad advice so today we are processing through some of those things, and how to change your overall mindset about marriage in order to thrive in your relationship. Whether you’ve been married for one month or for years, It’s time to RESET these different areas of our lives and heal from the inside-out. Tune into today’s important episode! _______ RESET: Powerful habits to own your thoughts, understand your feelings, and change your life is officially available TODAY anywhere books are sold!!! Grab a copy for you and someone you love and let’s begin to DO IT DIFFERENTLY. DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season, Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast answering listener questions about love, relationships, and mental and emotional health. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices