Mojo for the Modern Man

In the second half of our conversation, Eric Fitzmedrud and I explore the intricate terrain of personal growth, relationships, and sexuality. Eric shares his journey of writing a book born from his own experiences, aimed at guiding men through the complexities of desire and intimacy. We discuss the crucial, yet often overlooked, importance of self-care for men, and the challenges of prioritizing our own well-being. Eric offers valuable insights on finding supportive men's groups that foster genuine growth rather than reinforcing outdated notions of masculinity. His perspectives on sexuality and relationships provide a fresh, nuanced take on topics many men struggle with. We conclude with a thought-provoking question that resonates long after our chat: Who would we be without our traumas, and how can we embody that person now?Bio: Therapy is always about the client. Sometimes though it is nice to know a little bit about the person you are considering to be your therapist.My identities:Cisgender male. My pronouns are he/him.My ancestries are northern European, including German, Norwegian, and Irish, and I grew up in Minnesota.Polyamorous and I have two committed long-term relationships.Bisexual/Pansexual. Though, like most bisexual people, I tend to partner with one gender, in my case, women.I grew up in Minneapolis, where the diversity around me ignited my passion for diversity issues. After high school, I lived in India for a year while in the Rotary International Youth Exchange Program. I went to college in Colorado, where I met my wife. During college, I experienced a larger view of the world on Semester at Sea. I moved to the Bay Area in 2002 to begin my Ph.D. program in Clinical Psychology. My family and I are now settled in this area for good.I became a licensed psychologist (PSY23669) through a circuitous route. I began with a strong interest in spirituality and human development during my undergraduate major in Religious Studies. I considered a more academic career but I realized that what I really felt called to do was work with people one-on-one. I took some prerequisite courses for a year at Loyola University in Chicago and then began my Ph.D. in 2002. I earned my Clinical Psychology Ph.D. in 2008.I love my job. I am honored that I get to do work that I enjoy, that is meaningful, and which helps others live meaningful, connected lives. Below you will find a brief list of different positions that I have held during my career and little further down, a brief description of my therapeutic style.

Eric FitzMedrud joins me today for a fascinating conversation about the intricate dance of healing, growth, and modern masculinity. From unpacking the multi-generational nature of trauma to exploring the nuances of accountability and self-forgiveness, Eric's journey offers a compelling lens for examining our own paths to becoming better men. We wrestle with the challenge of integrating our 'shadow' selves and the ongoing work of personal development. Our conversation touches on the power of mentorship and the delicate balance of boundaries, leaving me pondering the complexities of guiding the next generation. Ultimately, Eric's insights remind us that growth is a continuous, often messy process, but one that's crucial for fostering healthier relationships and a more conscious approach to masculinity.Bio: Therapy is always about the client. Sometimes though it is nice to know a little bit about the person you are considering to be your therapist.My identities:Cisgender male. My pronouns are he/him.My ancestries are northern European, including German, Norwegian, and Irish, and I grew up in Minnesota.Polyamorous and I have two committed long-term relationships.Bisexual/Pansexual. Though, like most bisexual people, I tend to partner with one gender, in my case, women.I grew up in Minneapolis, where the diversity around me ignited my passion for diversity issues. After high school, I lived in India for a year while in the Rotary International Youth Exchange Program. I went to college in Colorado, where I met my wife. During college, I experienced a larger view of the world on Semester at Sea. I moved to the Bay Area in 2002 to begin my Ph.D. program in Clinical Psychology. My family and I are now settled in this area for good.I became a licensed psychologist (PSY23669) through a circuitous route. I began with a strong interest in spirituality and human development during my undergraduate major in Religious Studies. I considered a more academic career but I realized that what I really felt called to do was work with people one-on-one. I took some prerequisite courses for a year at Loyola University in Chicago and then began my Ph.D. in 2002. I earned my Clinical Psychology Ph.D. in 2008.I love my job. I am honored that I get to do work that I enjoy, that is meaningful, and which helps others live meaningful, connected lives. Below you will find a brief list of different positions that I have held during my career and little further down, a brief description of my therapeutic style.

In this profound second act of my conversation with Shawn Lesser, we explore the transformative power of vulnerability and human connection in the face of mental health challenges. Our conversation delves into the often-overlooked struggles men face when confronting their inner demons, highlighting the critical importance of breaking down stigmas surrounding mental health. Shawn’s journey from a successful finance professional to mental health advocate serves as a fantastic backdrop for discussing the broader themes of identity, resilience, and the healing power of community. Throughout our discussion, we continually circle back to the core idea that true strength often lies in the courage to be vulnerable and the willingness to lean on others, something that is central to our transformation as better men.BIO: At 54, Shawn Lesser isn't just a father of two and a seasoned business leader; he's also a survivor. His recent struggles with anxiety and depression took him through two treatment centers in early 2023, where he was nicknamed "Shaky." Instead of letting the experience defeat him, Shawn used his inherent resilience and humor to overcome it. Now, he’s committed to sharing his journey to inspire and help other men facing similar challenges.Professional Track Record:Before pivoting to mental health advocacy, Shawn had already made a significant impact in the finance world. With over three decades in finance, he co-founded the industry's first Impact Investing Investment Bank for 16 years. Big Path Capital earned Barrons' description as "Impact Investing's Investment Bank." As a trusted advisor and placement agent, Shawn has collaborated with more than 200 Impact Funds and over 1,000 Limited Partners and put on over 50 investment convenings in the US and Europe.The REAL Deal:Shawn is the founder of THE REAL Mental Health Foundation, which has a focused objective: to significantly improve the mental health of men and their families. Leveraging his personal experiences, Shawn aims to challenge societal norms, create environments for open dialogue, and encourage authentic peer connections. Visit THE REAL Website for more information.WebsiteFacebookXInstagramYoutubeTikTok

What a pleasure to be joined by Shawn Lesser, whose transformation from a shy Long Island kid to a confident international finance pro exemplifies the power of personal growth. Act 1 of our conversation begins with Shawn's candid reflections on navigating divorced parents and two father figures reveal how these experiences shaped his core values, particularly his commitment to honesty and follow-through. The game-changer in Shawn's story was the Dale Carnegie course, which not only helped him overcome his shyness but also equipped him with relationship-building skills that became his professional superpower. Shawn's wild entry into Wall Street - complete with 4 AM starts and a vanishing boss - showcases the unpredictability of career paths and the importance of resilience. What truly resonated with me was Shawn's philosophy: "You just make friends, then if you happen to do business, you do business" - a powerful approach that extends beyond finance to offer a blueprint for life.BIO: At 54, Shawn Lesser isn't just a father of two and a seasoned business leader; he's also a survivor. His recent struggles with anxiety and depression took him through two treatment centers in early 2023, where he was nicknamed "Shaky." Instead of letting the experience defeat him, Shawn used his inherent resilience and humor to overcome it. Now, he’s committed to sharing his journey to inspire and help other men facing similar challenges.Professional Track Record:Before pivoting to mental health advocacy, Shawn had already made a significant impact in the finance world. With over three decades in finance, he co-founded the industry's first Impact Investing Investment Bank for 16 years. Big Path Capital earned Barrons' description as "Impact Investing's Investment Bank." As a trusted advisor and placement agent, Shawn has collaborated with more than 200 Impact Funds and over 1,000 Limited Partners and put on over 50 investment convenings in the US and Europe.The REAL Deal:Shawn is the founder of THE REAL Mental Health Foundation, which has a focused objective: to significantly improve the mental health of men and their families. Leveraging his personal experiences, Shawn aims to challenge societal norms, create environments for open dialogue, and encourage authentic peer connections. Visit THE REAL Website for more information.WebsiteFacebookXInstagramYoutubeTikTok

In round two with Anson Whitmer, we dive deep into the murky waters of men's mental health, which was quite the journey. Anson opens up about his own battles with loss and emotional suppression, leading us to a fascinating chat about how men cope - turns out, it's not great! We tackle the sneaky ways depression disguises itself in men versus women, and why the mental health world needs to step up its game. Anson then unveils his brainchild, the Mental app, which is basically a Swiss Army knife for the male psyche. From cold shower challenges (brrr!) to AI life coaches, it's all about meeting men where they're at, and challenging us to think and behave in ways we may never have before. As we wrap up, Anson leaves us with some potent wisdom: the power of doing absolutely nothing. In our world of constant pings and swipes, it might just be the most radical act of self-care yet.Bio by Anson: I have a PhD in neuroscience with a focus on mental health (depression, anxiety, etc; ex-Stanford). I was a founding team member of the first mental health app to become a unicorn - Calm. At Calm, we realized we were not getting through to guys - that nobody is. This is a problem. Men are 80% of suicides. And this matters to me. My whole career has been motivated by the loss of two close male relatives to suicide. So I created Mental - the first mental health app built for men. I'm CEO and co-founder along with Calm's founding engineer.

In this episode, I sat down with Anson Whitmer, whose diverse life experiences span from a split childhood between Chicago and England to daring solo adventures across the globe. Anson's tales of culture shock, jungle expeditions, and academic pursuits paint a vivid picture of a life driven by curiosity and resilience. We explored how his travels fostered a unique perspective on human connection and empathy, particularly towards those different from ourselves. Anson's journey from globetrotter to neuroscientist offers fascinating insights into personal growth and understanding the human mind. Our conversation touched on everything from the impact of technology on our sense of time to the challenges of rumination and mental health, drawing from both Anson's personal experiences and scientific background. His story serves as a compelling reminder of how embracing the unknown can shape our approach to life's challenges, whether in academia, entrepreneurship, or personal growth.Bio by Anson: I have a PhD in neuroscience with a focus on mental health (depression, anxiety, etc; ex-Stanford). I was a founding team member of the first mental health app to become a unicorn - Calm. At Calm, we realized we were not getting through to guys - that nobody is. This is a problem. Men are 80% of suicides. And this matters to me. My whole career has been motivated by the loss of two close male relatives to suicide. So I created Mental - the first mental health app built for men. I'm CEO and co-founder along with Calm's founding engineer.

In this captivating second act with Mike Sweeney, I was treated to a treasure trove of hard-earned wisdom. Mike's journey from Army officer to corporate leader, and through the choppy waters of divorce and fatherhood, is nothing short of remarkable. I couldn't help but chuckle as he recounted how a forklift driver's casual "Oh well" became a pivotal moment in his leadership philosophy. It's fascinating how Mike evolved from a command-and-conquer approach to one of connection and inspiration, showcasing the power of emotional intelligence in both professional and personal spheres. As we delved into his experiences with divorce and co-parenting, I was struck by Mike's candid reflections on balancing societal expectations with personal growth. Our conversation was a rich exploration of leadership, fatherhood, and self-discovery that left me pondering the importance of embracing both masculine and feminine energies. Mike's parting wisdom? Sometimes, when life throws you a curveball, it's okay to just say "Oh well" and roll with it.Bio by Mike: In my career, I’ve applied my love of learning to coaching leaders, accelerating organizational change, and building high performing teams – often through digital learning. I enjoy the challenge of new industries so I can discover techniques that work everywhere.• Digital learning – I started with flip phone videos to help employees make label changes easier. This grew to personalized learning experience platforms, virtual facilitation, social learning, xAPI learning analytics, and content development in eLearning, video, simulation, and all the fun formats.• Coaching leaders – I’ve developed coaching skills through a Master’s in organizational psychology, courses on positive psychology and appreciative inquiry, and the full curriculum from the Co-Active Training Institute. Nothing thrills me more than supporting people as they learn the craft of leadership. • Accelerating organizational change – I have experience leading large transformational change efforts – mixing new technology with behavior change. After years of studying change, I’ve found ways to weave the people side of change into projects. The outcomes have been higher engagement, faster change, and better results.• Building high performing teams – Working with a diverse group of people is where the magic happens. I know my strengths (and where I’m less good) and look for complementary all-stars to do great work together. My point of view on teams has evolved, but elements I learned as a platoon leader in the U.S. Cavalry still resonate – leader as servant, aligned ambition, and mutual respect.Outside of work, I learn from my three wonderful daughters, get outside to stay centered, and run often. I am enjoying watching my two oldest daughters run XC without being too involved. As a certified distance running coach, I often bite my lip. I ride the PMC to raise money for cancer research. LinkedInWebsite

Today I had the absolute pleasure of sitting down with Mike Sweeney, a Boston-born "country mouse," Army veteran, and father. Our conversation traced Mike's remarkable journey from an emotionally limited young man to a more self-aware adult. We explored his privileged yet conflicted childhood, delved into his transformative military experience, and discussed the profound impact fatherhood has had on his life and perspective. Mike's story illuminates the challenges and rewards of emotional growth, leadership, and finding purpose; from learning hard lessons in the Army to discovering new depths of empathy as a father to daughters, Mike's experiences offer valuable insights for any man grappling with personal development. Mike’s ability to blend raw honesty, practical wisdom, and thought-provoking reflection is a powerful one, and I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as I did. Looking forward to Act 2, Mike!Bio by Mike: In my career, I’ve applied my love of learning to coaching leaders, accelerating organizational change, and building high performing teams – often through digital learning. I enjoy the challenge of new industries so I can discover techniques that work everywhere.• Digital learning – I started with flip phone videos to help employees make label changes easier. This grew to personalized learning experience platforms, virtual facilitation, social learning, xAPI learning analytics, and content development in eLearning, video, simulation, and all the fun formats.• Coaching leaders – I’ve developed coaching skills through a Master’s in organizational psychology, courses on positive psychology and appreciative inquiry, and the full curriculum from the Co-Active Training Institute. Nothing thrills me more than supporting people as they learn the craft of leadership. • Accelerating organizational change – I have experience leading large transformational change efforts – mixing new technology with behavior change. After years of studying change, I’ve found ways to weave the people side of change into projects. The outcomes have been higher engagement, faster change, and better results.• Building high performing teams – Working with a diverse group of people is where the magic happens. I know my strengths (and where I’m less good) and look for complementary all-stars to do great work together. My point of view on teams has evolved, but elements I learned as a platoon leader in the U.S. Cavalry still resonate – leader as servant, aligned ambition, and mutual respect.Outside of work, I learn from my three wonderful daughters, get outside to stay centered, and run often. I am enjoying watching my two oldest daughters run XC without being too involved. As a certified distance running coach, I often bite my lip. I ride the PMC to raise money for cancer research. LinkedInWebsite

In the second half of our conversation, Brian Anderson continues to captivate with his heartfelt reflections on fatherhood and personal growth. With disarming honesty, Brian shares pivotal moments from his journey as a father - from early missteps to profound realizations about unconditional love. His story of founding Fathering Together emerges as a powerful testament to turning personal challenges into a force for collective good, and his passionate advocacy for 'servant leadership' in fatherhood offers a refreshing perspective on modern masculinity. Brian leaves us with practical wisdom for fathers, emphasizing open communication and joyful engagement, resonating with a deep commitment to nurturing a new generation of compassionate, self-aware fathers.BioBrian Anderson is a husband, father, and gender equity advocate. In his professional life, he's the Director of Foundation Relations for i.c.stars. His side hustles and projects include being the Co-Founder and Board President of Fathering Together where he writes and speaks on the importance of dads living connected lives. He's worked with dozens of companies and hundreds of dads to translate their professional skills into home-life strategies. In his personal life, you can find him building Lego structures, cooking, and writing stories with his two daughters. In September 2022, he published his first book, Fathering Together: Living a Connected Dad Life, which lays out servant leadership as a model for fatherhood.WebsiteInstagramX

In today's episode, I'm thrilled to be joined by Brian Anderson, who generously shares his remarkable journey of resilience, service, and redefining modern masculinity. With raw candor and infectious humor, Brian recounts pivotal moments from his Hoosier roots to the front lines of social work in Anchorage - from the heartbreak of losing two close friends at a young age to discovering his passion for servant leadership. I'm struck by the profound impact of Brian's father, whose steady presence and unconditional love laid the foundation for Brian's own evolution as a compassionate change-maker unafraid to step through the "open door" of adversity. Brian's hard-earned wisdom shines through as he reflects on the perils of burnout and the sustaining power of friendship. He leaves us with a poignant reminder to pace ourselves, seek out mentors, and always nurture the bonds that carry us through life's trials.BioBrian Anderson is a husband, father, and gender equity advocate. In his professional life, he's the Director of Foundation Relations for i.c.stars. His side hustles and projects include being the Co-Founder and Board President of Fathering Together where he writes and speaks on the importance of dads living connected lives. He's worked with dozens of companies and hundreds of dads to translate their professional skills into home-life strategies. In his personal life, you can find him building Lego structures, cooking, and writing stories with his two daughters. In September 2022, he published his first book, Fathering Together: Living a Connected Dad Life, which lays out servant leadership as a model for fatherhood.WebsiteInstagramX