The Addicted Mind Podcast

Our guest today is Pete Finger from Sioux Falls, South Dakota. In this episode, he shares his recovery journey and how the support group Smart Recovery helped him to overcome addiction and helped him to enjoy the life he lives today by helping others through the same program that helped him.Mr. Finger had struggled with alcohol addiction for 20-30 years. Growing up in what he describes as an “addictive family” where cocktail parties were a big part of their lives, he used alcohol to cope with the trauma of abuse by a teacher. His addiction continued to escalate through college and beyond. An intervention at work helped Pete get into recovery.Pete’s history of trauma is not uncommon with people who struggle with addiction. To cope they find behaviors or substances to help them feel better and it slowly becomes unmanageable until we learn to stop beating yourself up and allow yourself to recover.Pete was fortunate enough to find a Smart Recovery facility in San Diego called Practical Recovery. It’s founder, Dr. Tom Horvath, developed their program through evidence-based practices and the following four tenants:building and maintaining motivationcoping with urgesmanaging thoughts feelings and behaviorsliving a balanced lifeThese methods have worked well for Pete, and he has been sober for three years.thefix.com is the website that he used to find a positive place with individual attention and Smart Recovery was what he needed. Pete gives all the credit to Smart Recovery.Pete is trained as a Smart Recovery facilitator and has been working with their program for three years. Pete gives us an idea of what a typical Smart Recovery meeting looks like: There is an introduction and talk about what Smart Recovery is, and what it isn’t. Then they go around the room for “check-ins” which take almost 100% of the rest of the meeting time. Individuals take turns talking about their current struggles, how their week has been, relationships, and the raw emotions that come along with sobriety.In these meetings, cross-talk is encouraged. Individuals are encouraged to share their experiences as they relate to others andSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Marnie Breecker from the Center for Relational Healing in Los Angeles joined me for the second part of our discussion on relational and betrayal trauma. She walked us through the Six Dimensions of Relational and Betrayal Trauma as well as the steps in the process of partner healing.The Six Dimensions are:Shattered Inner World – In this initial dimension, the four core beliefs (the world is benign and a source of pleasure; the world is meaningful, controllable, and just; people are trustworthy and worth relating to; and the self is worthy, lovable, good, and competent) are threatened by the traumatic event(s) of betrayal. This has been compared to the trauma of finding your house burned down and losing all of your belongings.Life Crisis – The disparity between belief and reality that develops after the discovery of the addiction causes the trauma symptoms discussed in Part One of our discussion with Marnie in Episode 21. This dimension can include wondering who to tell and where to get help, making childcare arrangements, handling other aspects of daily life that have been shaken, and the uncertainty of whether the threat of betrayal continues.Existential Trauma – In this dimension, the partner loses faith in their own ability to make decisions, questions the core beliefs around which they have created meaning, begins to approach this “new world” with distrust and fear, and experiences damage to the relationship with self. This can be the dimension that takes the longest to heal during the process.Emotional Trauma – This involves the patterns of emotional abuse (lying, deceiving, manipulating) used by the addict to keep their secret. Emotional trauma can be overt (rage, yelling, etc.) or covert (sophisticated attack patterns in which the anger is less obvious because the addict casts blame or makes the partner feel crazy, which can be known as “gaslighting”).Sexual Trauma – Neglecting to address the partner’s sexual trauma makes later restoration and healing more challenging, so it is crucial for their feelings to be validated and their responses to be normalized.Relational Trauma – In this dimension of trauma, the addict must build the skill of empathy and understand that relational healing will take a lot of time and patience. There are no shortcuts to relational healing after the drastic rupture of betrayal that has occurred.The steps for partner healing are contingent on their basic background: Do they have children? Are they married to the addict who betrayed them? Do they have a history of abuse? Do they have a mental illness that will need to be factored into their healing process?The first step for partner healing is to reach out for help. The second step is for the partner to seek out resources such as strategies for coping, meeting with a doctor if they are in need of medication, and joining a support group. The third step is for the partner to come up with a list of what they need in order to feel safe in the relationship if the individuals have decided to restore their relationship.The fourth step is for the partner to identify the losses they have suffered because of the betrayal so that they can adequately grieve or mourn and be able to move on.Finally, the partner’s counseling and healing process should involve different modalities which will heal the nervous system.For more information about the “Helping Couples Heal” 2-day workshop focusing on the Six Dimensions discussed in this podcast as well as providing tools to heal the relationship hosted by the Center for Relational Healing, visit http://lacrh.com/workshops-and-groups/. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Our guest today is Marnie Breecker from the Center for Relational Healing in Los Angeles. In this first episode of a two-part series on the topic of relational and betrayal trauma, we will be defining what this type of trauma looks like and its impacts on both partners in the relationship.As a sex addiction therapist and a marriage and family therapist, Marnie is an expert identifying and assessing the traumatic impact of the discovery of infidelity or betrayal on relationships as a whole and on the individuals involved. She shares with us that there are two types of trauma that affected partners go through: the trauma of discovery and the trauma of their own response to the betrayal.It is very rare for addicts to come forward for help on their own, so it is likely that the partner has discovered the betrayal either intentionally or unintentionally through their partner’s computer history, text messages, or receipts and bank statements. Upon this initial discovery of betrayal, the partner can exhibit symptoms of depression, shock, anger, hypervigilance, isolating behavior, lifestyle changes such as beginning to smoke or drink, and a general questioning of everything they thought was true before this discovery. When the partner’s expectations are violated, they lose trust in their partner as well as themselves, and they begin seeking safety in a variety of ways because they feel that they cannot trust their own senses. After the initial trauma of discovery has run its course, partners often go through a time of trauma about their own response to the betrayal, extending their questioning of everything they thought was true as well as noticing ways that their lifestyle may have changed during the process. Common reactions to betrayal include obsession, depression, anger, hypervigilance, and rumination on the betrayal, and these reactions can cause the partners to lose faith in themselves and their abilities to make rational decisions.Marnie identified the five dimensions of trauma as emotional, sexual, existential, life crisis, and relational, so the healing process must encompass each of these dimensions. When reconciliation begins between the two partners in the relationship, it is important for the recovering addict to put in the effort to support their partner and not exasperate the trauma that they have gone through. There is always opportunity for rupture or repair, and even in the recovery process there are triggers that could unearth aspects of the trauma that have or have not yet been dealt with.Though this is a tough journey, it is important to remember that it will not always be this way, there are plenty of resources to help heal from relational betrayal, and there is hope.To find out more about Marnie and the Center for Relational Healing, visit lacrh.org or call (323) 860-9999.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Our guest today is Chris Shorrock, a psychologist in private practice in Medicine Hat. Our point of discussion is the opioid addiction and opioid epidemic, and Chris understands this topic very well.He’s got experience in treating addicted disorders in different treatment centers that he’s been working with after being a registered psychologist. He’s also worked at the methadone maintenance treatment program. So we can certify he’s got first-hand experience dealing with opioid addiction.An opioid is a powerful form of painkiller that’s known to suppress very intense pain. Nothing can compare to how effective opioid can be at masking or lowering pain. It must be noted that there’s a considerable difference between opioid and other forms of drugs like cocaine, alcohol, marijuana, etc. However, opioid does not in any way help to heal a particular disease but really what it does is it numbs your feelings so you won't feel pain intensely.It's been puzzling to psychology practitioners to understand why opioid patients become so addicted even after healing. Recent research has shown it is the turn-on of addictive genes and it goes from using the drug to numb pain to abuse and ultimately addiction, which is hard to overcome.When you think of opioid addiction, your mind goes straight to the homeless on the streets, but there are people of all socio-economic status, race, a religion that are dealing with addictive disorders with an opioid. Some people can be from wealthy families, and that can make the issue much more difficult to treat because there's always a form of denial with them.Opioid addiction is now an epidemic. People are dropping dead today than any other time in history. A probable cause of this is that now opioids are produced chemically. Fentanyl is a fully synthetic compound, which means it's not using parts of the opioid poppy or plants anymore. Refining opioids made them even more powerful and refined down, which is useful but can dangerous.With these new drugs, some addictive properties were underreported and overprescribed. Oxycodone was changed to Oxyneo to try and become tamper-resistant such that you couldn’t snort, or crush them, or inject them. It is so powerful that changing the mode of ingestion made it a whole different drug. It's effective in suppressing pain but incredibly dangerous, and this is what led to allegations that the pharmaceutical responsible for it knew about how addictive this drug could become but just gave it out as a safe alternative.It’s been discovered that taking the same amount of opioid over a given amount of time will start to have a lesser effect which can become an issue even in a regimented regular opioid use in problems like chronic pain.Although there are other forms of treatment, the oldest and probably the best is taking all the opioid drugs, trade them all in and get a monitored, measured, regular dose of methadone. This can control the withdrawal symptoms, and it can also withdraw a considerable amount of perceived pain. It's not an easy fix, though, but it's helpful. However, one thing that Christopher has found in his practice is that the treatment differs between teenagers and adults. For teenagers, you need to have a form of active outdoor activity that leads to relationships if you want a chance of having a therapeutic relationship with them.By all means, if you know anyone dealing with any addiction it might be friends, family, or even yourself, just come out of the shadows and ask for help. There are different kinds of support out there, and you only have to make an effort to know what will work for you. Not all routes you use will work, but don't give up, try something different. You can get your life back and live the kind of life you want to ultimately.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode, we talk about sacrificial helpers’ syndrome, great for people who are in the helper profession or volunteer helpers. Sacrificial help syndrome can be defined as people giving more than they have for the people they serve.Our guest today is Katie Vernoy. A licensed family therapist, a coach, and consultant with helpers based in Torrance, California. As she says, she helps helpers to help better.Most people who’ve had traumatic experiences that completely changed their lives can end up with this syndrome because they just want others to get through it better than they did and in between that they don't think of taking care of themselves.For therapists, they put their own needs at bay and focus on what other people need and how they can help them. Working past normal working hours, neglecting own self-care practices, scheduling in clients during personal time, foregoing meals just to help someone out are mostly signs that you're sacrificing yourself too much.Katie’s experience came about when she was working in public mental health. She worked extra hours, focused more on her staff and clients, and she burned out because she was so passionate about what she was doing to the point of neglecting self-care. After going out solo, she realized it was important for helpers to take care of themselves because if not, eventually, the help they offer won't be available.Within the profession, it’s often expected of you to be overly benevolent out of the goodness of your heart, so when you ask for money, or set limits and say no sometimes there can be a backlash from the society. It's expected of you to do this. However, part of your helping has to have some limits because you need to empower people to start their recovery on their own. Access if the client’s emergency call is a crisis or if it's possible for them to problem-solve on their own and practice self-soothing techniques. Yes, it’s hard to say no to a client at a critical moment, but learning to set limits helps tremendously in improving your service.Most often than not, when you started feeling as though your clients should cancel on appointments or grumpy, or you feel fatigued and burned out, it's a sign that you’ve started or are giving too much already. At this point, you can't care much anymore, and it's a clear sign that you should take some time off and do some consultation. Never risk your recovery for someone else’s.The first recovery of the syndrome is recognizing you’ve got a problem. You should then address it efficiently and start making time for yourself. Set aside some time to do some mandatory extracurricular activities, e.g., meeting up a friend, shopping, surfing, etc. Make sure you hold yourself accountable or find an accountability partner. Accountability will help you make better choices and get some well-deserved rest. You're valuable, take care of yourself.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Welcome to the Addicted Mind Podcast. Today, we are delighted to bring you the wisdom and expertise of Dr. Adina Silvestri, EdD, LPC as she talks about her research on women seeking addiction treatment.Dr. Adina Silvestri is a licensed Professional Counselor in Richmond, Virginia and the founder of Life Cycles Counseling. One of her specialties is helping women that are struggling with substance abuse recover from shame to find hope and healing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We are discussing a new immersive VR experience that’s teaching teenagers about addiction. Elvar Sig has transformed personal tragedy into an innovative and generous project, a tool to build awareness and generate conversations. He shares how addiction has been a force in his own life. He walks us through the VR journey he’s created, and what he hopes young people will take away from the experience. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode, we talk with Anthony Ramynke about attachment, empathy, and early childhood experiences. He tells us why early childhood experiences are the root cause bringing people into therapy, and what this means for the process. The therapist’s job is to attune empathically to the client, giving them the building blocks to heal. By creating a safe, intimate relationship – perhaps for the first time in the client’s life – the therapist allows the client to develop new ways of relating to themselves and others. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jason Groce stops by to talk about sobriety, dual diagnosis, and the recovery support group LifeRing. For 10 years, Jason was an on again off again alcoholic. He would stay sober for periods of time or attempt to moderate. Eventually, stressors would pile up and he would start drinking. He tried support groups but didn’t find them helpful. 3 and a half years ago, a social worker asked him what he was going to do differently. It wasn’t his first time to the hospital, but he was committed to making it his last. He agreed that he needed to find a community to stay sober.LifeRing got Jason’s attention. He attended a meeting, and the format worked for him. The philosophy of secularism and personal empowerment spoke to Jason. He’d always struggled with the spiritual components of other programs, and the emphasis on powerlessness and surrender. Most of all, he liked the more conversational structure of the meeting. Each meeting, participants are invited to share about their last week. It can be directly related to sobriety, but it doesn’t have to be. Crosstalk is encouraged. People interrupt to ask questions, offer support, or share similar experiences.Two concepts undergird LifeRing’s philosophy: the 3 S’s and the addict self – sober self-conflict. The 3 S’s are sobriety, secularity, and self-help. Sobriety because LifeRing is an abstinence-based program. Secularity because LifeRing promotes models of recovery generated by human effort. And self-help because LifeRing believes that each individual’s journey to sobriety is their own, and the role of the group is to reinforce each individual’s motivation and efforts. The conflict between the Addict Self and the Sober Self represents LifeRing’s belief about the nature of addiction recovery. The process of recovery involves strengthening and reinforcing the sober self. The addict self will always be there, but we can do everything in our power to amplify our desire to live a fulfilled, sober life.In this episode we also talk about: The intervention that led to Jason’s recovery Atheism and recovery Why LifeRing’s meeting format and absence of an organized doctrine are important to Jason The differences between LifeRing, 12-step programs, and other peer support groups Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We are talking with Megan Peterson of 2nd Chance Counseling. 2nd Chance is an internet-based addiction treatment provider. They have therapists in every state working to make treatment accessible, flexible, and cost-effective. Duane and Megan talk about the advantages and disadvantages of this new treatment model, who it’s for, and how it came to be.2nd Chance conducts therapy by video chat. The flexibility this offers creates new possibilities for treatment that is impossible for traditional outpatient clinics. Patients can communicate with their therapist earlier and later. Appointments can be any length the patient and therapist agree on. The flexibility and relative ease of meeting by video instead of in-person mean that appointments can often be set on shorter notice. Patients can utilize their therapist when difficulty arises, instead of waiting until the next scheduled appointment. Most of all, being able to access therapy without traveling eliminates the barriers that prevent people from getting the help they need. Digital communication is a bigger part of our culture than ever, and much of human connection today is digitally enabled.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.