Depression sucks and it’s such a hard place to be. On the other hand, addiction used to be framed as this lack of moral character or willpower, and addiction, too, is a very hard place to be. But there's hope.On this episode, Duane speaks with Ben Spielberg, the founder and CEO of TMS & Brain Health clinics. Ben is a specialist in neuroscience, neuromodulation, and neuroimaging. Today, Ben is going to talk about TMS or transcranial magnetic stimulation, and how TMS offers hope to people struggling with addiction and its underlying mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, and ultimately, returning joy and passion back to their lives.Ben started working in the field of mental health in 2010 as a biofeedback technician at a Substance Abuse and Recovery Treatment Center in Los Angeles. Part of his work was doing neurofeedback and he was just fascinated at how it impacted people, becoming more resilient to stressors without involving any medication or intervention. Eventually, Ben got a master's degree in neuroscience at Columbia with the hope to specialize in the overarching field called neuromodulation, which refers to evidence-based, nonpharmaceutical ways to create real changes in the brain.With neurofeedback, all people need to do is to show up. It doesn't really matter what you’re thinking about. Your brain is picking up on the signals regardless. Listen in as Ben sheds some light on how TMS targets and activates specific areas of the brain that help reduce depression, anxiety, and all other underlying issues that lead to addiction.In this episode, you will hear: Ben’s experience in neurofeedback and neuromodulation The concept of neuroplasticity What is TMS and how does it work? Cognitive-behavioral therapy vs. TMS Types of issues TMS can treat The role of ADHD in addiction The history of TMS Key Quotes:[05:54] - "With neurofeedback, all you have to do is show up. It doesn't really matter what you think about. Your brain is picking up on the signals regardless." [09:53] - "There's a part of the brain called the left dorsolateral prefrontal cortex... it's the left top side of your head and that area has been shown to be underactive in people with depression."[10:35] - "When people do TMS typically five days a week, week by week, the symptoms of depression start to go away, just as this other part of the brain starts to come back online."[12:55] - "Cognitive behavioral therapy is definitely an evidence-based treatment for depression. But when it's not working, there's nowhere to go unless you're actually creating real changes in the brain."[15:37] - "People with ADHD are much more likely to be addicted than a neurotypical person… as well as way more likely to be incarcerated and a really a number of issues in life."[17:26] - "ADHD is an issue of sustained focus, whereas normally, people have the ability to continue focusing on things when they want to, and they're not necessarily bothered by any external or internal stimulus."[29:41] - "Addiction is really just a symptom of some other underlying mental health diagnosis."If you really enjoyed this episode, we’ve created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com to download it.Supporting Resources:TMS & Brain Health Clinicshttps://www.tmsbrainhealth.com/ Episode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When dealing with addiction, whether you’re addicted to alcohol, drugs, porn, food, or whatever it is, one of the most effective ways to achieve recovery is by going all the way back to your inner child and figuring out what triggers your pain points so you can eventually take mindful action.Author and licensed professional counselor, Eddie Capparucci, who specializes in the treatment of sex and pornography addiction, created the inner child recovery process to help people struggling with addiction. Eddie's father died when he was five and his mother who was left with four children had a nervous breakdown. All kids were then sent out to relatives they didn't even know and they stayed there for a year while she was recovering. Growing up, he found himself very isolated and developed an abandonment issue. With the early pain that he experienced with the loss of his father and his mother leaving him, Eddie was completely alone.As early as 16 years old, Eddie felt he needed to have more than one woman in his life. When he married in his 20s, once again, he found himself looking outside the marriage for companionship and company, even though what he had in his marriage was fine. He was caught cheating and he decided to walk away from his marriage to seek therapy. It was after that when Eddie married his current wife now. He has been happily married for 23 years now and has been faithful the entire time after doing that work.In this episode, Eddie discusses how healing our inner child plays a huge role in the road to addiction, and he specifically, outlines the nine different kinds of the inner child, and how the inner child impacts sexual addiction.In this episode, you will hear: What having a sense of abandonment feels like Bringing your defense mechanisms as a child into the adult world Eddie’s recovery journey How the cycle of addiction works How the inner child recovery process works The nine different kinds of the inner child Being mindful of the triggers The power of slowing down Dealing with high-speed internet pornography Key Quotes:[02:58] - "The road to recovery for our addiction goes to our childhood."[17:25] - "When you start to feel that ugliness within you... that just keeps you in the cycle. You go back to your addiction in order to forget and not feel. And that's the biggest problem." [17:42] - "One of the keys to dealing with sexual pornography addiction, or any addiction, is learning how to sit with that emotional pain, feel it, and understand that it's not going to kill you no matter how uncomfortable it is.”[21:10] - “By recognizing the childhood pain points, we understand the triggers that activate those pain points. And then the next most important thing in this whole process is mindfulness.”[23:54] - "You have to slow everything down... It's the compulsive behaviors that get us in the situation in the first place."[37:23] - "There are a lot of great resources that are out there that you can tap into so that you can make those substantial changes in your life, and that you can finish strong."If you really enjoyed this episode, we’ve created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com to download it.Supporting Resources:www.innerchild-sexaddiction.comhttps://abundantlifecounselingga.comConnect with Eddie: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ecapparucci  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/capparucci/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/edcappa/  Email: edcappa@gmail.com  Episode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Intimacy is such a key part of healing from trauma and addiction. The more we can be intimate, the more we can heal, and the more we can walk through our suffering. Ultimately, we realize we’re not alone.On today’s episode, Duane speaks with Zoe Kors, a sex and intimacy coach and the author of “Radical Intimacy: Cultivate the Deeply Connected Relationships You Desire and Deserve.” Zoe hosts The Radical Intimacy Podcast, which she launched in conjunction with the book to continue the conversation.As a Zen practitioner, yoga practitioner, and lifelong meditator, Zoe learned how Eastern philosophies and practices lend themselves to alleviating loneliness and disconnection. Especially when the pandemic hit, there’s that whole new level of needing to navigate human connection as well as a new paradigm – and at the foundation of that is the connection with ourselvesWe are taught to invest resources, time, energy, and money into things like financial stability, physical fitness, and health and wellness. But we are also told not to talk about intimacy, sex, or relationships because we're told it just takes care of itself. But that’s not really true. This is the reason Zoe wrote the book having seen how people have this fear and anxiety around intimacy, but also have a real longing to feel deeply connected. Hence, most of her work is right through the Radical Intimacy Matrix, a roadmap to the intersection of the three levels and the three kinds of intimacy thereby creating these nine areas of opportunity to cultivate connection or intimacy. In this episode, you will hear: Why a book about radical intimacy Understanding the human conditioning around sex and intimacy 3 levels of intimacy The Radical Intimacy Matrix Cultivating intimacy and working on all the nine areas of the matrix Accessing self-intimacy through central awareness Stepping into witness consciousness Key Quotes:[05:05] - "When the pandemic hit, that's just a whole new level of needing to navigate human connection and a new paradigm. Ultimately, at the foundation of that is the connection with ourselves."[06:24] - “We can only meet each other to the extent that we can meet ourselves. We can't share a piece of ourselves if we don't know what it is that we're sharing."[09:04] "Physical intimacy is the experience of connection and familiarity with our own physicality as well as that of another's."[08:53] - "Emotional intimacy is the experience of recognizing, articulating, expressing, and accepting the feelings and sentiments and moods of ourselves and others."[09:53] - "Energetic intimacy is the experience of feeling deeply connected to someone or ourselves beyond the utility of speech and touch."[18:49] - "Every time there's a difficult situation… step into witness consciousness. What it means is that you're able to simultaneously be in the experience, but also witness yourself in the experience.”[22:47] - “Cultivating intimacy and working all nine areas of the matrix really fortifies your life and balances you in a way that you can move through relationships skillfully."[29:43] - “We're not taught to sort of work this part of our lives. But we're also not taught to be with ourselves.”If you really enjoyed this episode, we’ve created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com to download it.Supporting Resources:https://www.zoekors.com/ Radical Intimacy: Cultivate the Deeply Connected Relationships You Desire and Deservehttps://www.amazon.com/Radical-Intimacy-Cultivate-Connected-Relationships/dp/0306826607 The Radical Intimacy Podcasthttps://open.spotify.com/show/0dwm96DWeTZ8I0wGIztmbO Episode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s so easy to compare your own trauma with somebody else's trauma but trauma is trauma. You can have no kids and not be married, and put your dog down. And that can be just as traumatic as somebody who went through losing a child. All of our pain is unique to us and it's painful to us no matter what it is. But at the end of the day, we are all left with two roads – one is the road of anger, despair, and hatred and the other is a road of inspiration and motivation – which one are you going to take?On this episode, Duane speaks with Jeff Johnston about his story of loss and grief, losing his eldest son and his wife to addiction, and having to deal with his own recovery from alcoholism.  Jeff was a functional alcoholic who has been drinking since he was in eighth grade. He was also a compulsive gambler for 15 years. But his pivot point in his life came in October 2016 when his 23-year-old son, Seth died from fentanyl poisoning and heroin overdose.Jeff initially drank his way to cope with the pain. Then in December 2017, as an alcoholic since eighth grade, he just woke up and realized he was tired of being tired. Although we always have two choices, there was only one choice for him because the bitter road was never an option for him. In June 2021, his wife died of alcohol abuse at the age of 46. Jeff took the deaths in his family as the beginning of something beautiful. For Jeff, things didn’t happen to him, but things had to happen for him. With this kind of mindset, he is committed to living a life undeterred. He made a choice to turn his pain and suffering into something transformative, not only for him but also for other people. And out of that came his Living Undeterred project, where he tours around the United States, working to change the narrative on mental health, substance abuse, and addiction.  In this episode, you will hear: Jeff’s story of losing his 23-year-old son The two roads you can go down Do things happen to you or for you? Pain is unavoidable, suffering is a choice Jeff’s coping mechanisms Keeping yourself from being addicted to your vulnerability Reframing your situation Ending the stigma of addiction About Living Undeterred The opposite of addiction The quiver of arrows metaphor in life  Key Quotes:[08:43] - “Death presented an opportunity for me to be a better man, not a bitter man.”[10:20] - "We have one road of anger, despair, and hatred, and we become alcoholics ourselves. Or we have a road of inspiration and motivation, and this can be the single greatest moment in our lives to make our own lives better and those around us."[11:40] - "As an alcoholic since eighth grade, I just woke up and said, I'm tired of being tired."[13:21] - “Do things happen to you or do things happen for you?”[15:20] - "Pain is unavoidable, but suffering is a choice."[23:00] - “A death of somebody doesn't have to be the end of you. It can be the beginning of something beautiful."[27:59] - “The opposite of addiction is connection.”[31:06] - "We all have a "why" and you just have to find it. And then when you find it, your way gets revealed right in front of you." If you really enjoyed this episode, we’ve created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com to download it.Supporting Resources:Living Undeterredhttps://www.livingundeterred.com/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmGZTTnszWNlkG0sIGcp-YQ This One's For You: An Inspirational Journey Through Addiction, Death, and Meaninghttps://www.thisonesforyoubook.com/ Episode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today’s episode, Duane speaks with Etel Leit, who talks about her own story of living with addiction – not her own addiction, but in her relationship – and how addiction doesn't just impact the person struggling with addiction, but also everyone around that person. Addiction is not a one-person thing, but it's something that flows all over. It impacts the family, friends, bosses, and the people around them. Most often, too, addiction is looked at as a family disease. There’s this idea of trying to change the addicted person and becoming obsessed with it, that they eventually lose their identity along the way and it brings about feelings of shame and embarrassment. Therefore, part of the healing is not only looking into what goes into an addicted person’s mind, but also acknowledging what’s also going on in the mind of the person living next to the addict so then both parties can go through the healing journey together.  If you’re somebody living with a person struggling with addiction, tune in to learn some tools you can use to heal yourself in the process. Etel also shares her healing journey, going through it and coming out the other side of that, and now working to help others going through the same. Etel’s book, “UnAddicted to You: Loving Yourself Through the Darkness” is a great read that offers some tools a person living next to an addicted person can use so they can find their spark within them once again.In this episode, you will hear: How relationship problems go all the way back since we were babies What goes on in the mind of a person living with an addicted person Putting a stop to people-pleasing Creating boundaries as a form of self-love Putting down the magnifying the glass and picking up the mirror The 3 C’s of a person living with an addicted person The first step is acknowledgement Key Quotes:"Addiction is not a one-person thing. It's something that flows all over – the family, friends, bosses."“The idea of going and trying to change the other person is something that is really embedded in people who are living next to the addict.”“A person who lives either with an active addict or active alcoholic, they even don't know what their hobbies are. Their hobby is the person.”“People-pleasing is lying– not only do I lie to the other person, but deeply, I lie to myself.”“Mean what you say, say what you mean, but don’t say it mean.” “When you see someone that isn't next to alcoholic or addict, they don't have the spark, they're in the dark.”“Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror... stop judging others, look at yourself.”Subscribe and ReviewHave you subscribed to our podcast? We’d love for you to subscribe if you haven’t yet. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.If you really enjoyed this episode, we’ve created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com to download it.Supporting Resources:www.etelleit.com (Promo code: THEADDICTMIND)UnAddicted to You: Loving Yourself Through the Darknesshttps://www.amazon.com/UnAddicted-You-Yourself-Through-Darkness/dp/0578871874 Episode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There’s a rising popularity in the field of psychedelics as it relates to addiction treatment and healing trauma. But aren’t psychedelics addictive? On today’s episode, Duane speaks with Ronan Levy, co-founder of Field Trip Health, a company with a mission to heal the sick and better the well through psychedelics and psychedelic-assisted therapies. Ronan explains the role of psychedelics in healing trauma and addiction treatment and recovery.A trained lawyer by profession, Ronan hopped into the entrepreneurial world over 10 years ago and got an opportunity to start a business in the medical cannabis industry in Canada. Eventually, he discovered the role of psychedelics and since then, he has been committed to using this platform that opens up conversations to a whole new audience so he could reach more people in the hope that we can shift the conversation around mental health from a reactive place into something we do proactively. Ronan initially thought that if he could get people thinking about their mental health like their physical health and becoming proactive in developing emotional awareness and emotional resilience, then we would all be doing justice to the world and our healthcare systems. That’s when he started exploring psychedelic therapies and their potential to build a business around them. But more importantly, it’s not just the physical effects of psychedelics that drew him to this space, but how psychedelics play a significant role in raising the consciousness of humanity on a global scale.  In this episode, you will hear: Psychedelics and healing trauma What are psychedelics? The risk of taking psychedelics The impact of psilocybin-assisted therapies  What’s going on in the brain during a psychedelic experience The cross country ski track analogy Other benefits of psychedelic-assisted therapies What a psychedelic experience feels like Key Quotes:[07:02] - "If we could get people thinking about their mental health like their physical health, and being proactive and developing emotional awareness... we would be doing such a justice to the world." [08:08] - “It's about the conscious evolution of consciousness – how do we elevate humanity in a way that we can deal with the challenges that we face as a species and as a planet?”[08:28] - “Trying to use old techniques to address new problems is not going to work.”[10:19] - “It's virtually impossible to overdose on psychedelics. And when done in a proper therapeutic environment with medical professionals or psychotherapeutic professionals, the risk of the so-called bad trip or going crazy is virtually negligible.”[12:14] - "These are not just medicines, they actually change people and help them see the world from a different lens."[13:07] - “Psychedelics, particularly ketamine is such a powerful medicine for acute suicidal ideation… you have these layers of effect going on that are not only changing the emotional resonance of what's going on, but they're also actually changing the physical operation of your brain in a healthy and productive way.”[19:34] - "Through psychedelics and some of my personal experiences with psychedelics, I can start to see myself as being worthy of love and as being a successful human being even if I don't have a successful business."If you really enjoyed this episode, we’ve created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com to download it.Supporting Resources:Field Trip HealthTwitter: @RonanDLevyInstagram: @RonanDLevyEpisode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On today's episode, Duane speaks with Caroline Beidler who shares her story and talks specifically about building resiliency and recovery, the importance of resiliency, especially when it relates to overcoming trauma, and how she discovered that process in her own life. Caroline also shares a few things that you can do in your life immediately to help build resilience.Caroline's mental health recovery and addiction recovery were intertwined. She knew that if she wanted to thrive in her recovery, she had to heal her trauma and build resilience. Then a couple of years later, she decided to go back to school to become a social worker and help others who also seek recovery.Caroline lived with undiagnosed post-traumatic stress disorder for over 20 years. Caroline recalls experiencing panic attacks, anxiety, and depression triggered by her experiences of being in a room full of men. She struggled more with disordered eating and was in very unhealthy and emotionally abusive relationships. After finally seeking a mental health therapist, Caroline realized that so much of what was happening in her life was because of untreated trauma symptoms. As she discovered more practical tools to help her mental health and trauma resilience, her life and her world changed. With her healing transformed, she reached the next level in recovery and founded Bright Story Shine, a storytelling platform created to share and celebrate stories of recovery and resilience without judgment and shame.  By bringing these stories out into the open, our pain can be witnessed and we can also witness other people's pain. There is something in that process that allows us to move forward and shift that story.In this episode, you will hear: Caroline’s story of recovery What resilience means Developing safe coping skills to promote resilience The role of storytelling in healing Skills that you can build in recovery Some characteristics of resilient people Key Quotes:[03:26] - "It's so much more recovery and healing than just putting the substances down."[07:28] - “We can choose healing. We can make a decision to turn another way, take another path, and go another route.”[09:29] - "Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress."[13:04] - “Research that shows storytelling, or telling our recovery and mental health stories actually promote healing in the brain.”[14:27] - “Over 80% of women in addiction recovery have experienced some type of trauma, most often sexual violence.”[15:09] - "We have the ability to shift our stories... in the next level of recovery, if we embrace our trauma healing and building resilience, we can really move forward into new levels of freedom."[16:57] - "Some of our unhealthy patterns in recovery are really closely linked with some of the trauma that we experienced early on in our life."Subscribe and ReviewHave you subscribed to our podcast? We’d love for you to subscribe if you haven’t yet. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.If you really enjoyed this episode, we’ve created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com to download it.Supporting Resources:Bright Story ShineSeeking SafetyEpisode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode of The Addicted Mind Podcast, Duane speaks with Justin Larson, the director of health systems for Thrive Peer Recovery, as he shares his story about his alcoholism and recovery.Justin was diagnosed with depression at the young age of eight. He was feeling fearful and anxious all the time until that time he picked up a drink and it just made all of those go away. At that moment, he fell in love with alcohol. Soon, it became his best friend that later controlled his life. Drinking became his number one coping mechanism. For him, it was the missing link to life, having found the one thing that enabled him to cope with life. From about the age of 15 to 32, what started out as this magic elixir that gave him the courage and made him feel whole, slowly turned into a necessity that he couldn’t go without. Alcohol slowly turned down on him.It reached a point in Justin’s life where he ran out of options for dealing with all his pain. He found himself in such a dark place that the only thing he could do was attempt suicide. Fortunately, Justin decided to seek treatment. Justin saw the value of peer recovery support because it assured him that he was not alone. Having gone through hell and clawed his way out of it, he wanted to pay it forward by helping others, who are going through the same path, claw their way out of the deep pit, too.In this episode, you will hear: Being diagnosed with depression at age 8 The decision to seek treatment The importance of peer recovery support What makes being with a peer unique The difference between a peer supporter and a counselor or therapist The role of a peer supporter Key Quotes:[09:37] - "That's a dangerous place to be in when I will do anything possible to get that next drink."[11:13] - “The alcohol was my best friend since I picked it up at a young age.”[21:51] - "I went through hell and clawed my way out of it. And I want to be able to lend my hand to others to help them get out of that, too."[23:47] "It's a very organic conversation that comes up between a peer and a peer recovery supporter. It's that identification piece that the peer can relate to the peer recovery supporter.”[28:12] - “It's part of that clinical team. But it's a non-clinical role that sometimes fills the void."[31:37] - "There's no greater high than helping others."[32:06] - “Hold on, it gets better. I know what you're going through. I've been there myself. It seems like there's no options, and there's no way out."[32:28] - "Please accept the help. Please be willing to make a change. I know it's scary. It was for me. But it's so worth it."Subscribe and ReviewHave you subscribed to our podcast? We’d love for you to subscribe if you haven’t yet. We’d love it even more if you could drop a review or 5-star rating over on Apple Podcasts. Simply select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” then a quick line with your favorite part of the episode. It only takes a second and it helps spread the word about the podcast.If you really enjoyed this episode, we’ve created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com to download it.Supporting Resources:Thrive Peer SupportEpisode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-addicted-mind-podcast/donations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anxiety and worry are things we all can struggle with at times and the core of those feelings is fear. But at some point, we have to realize we have our own loving power that’s bigger than our fear. And we need to claim that to free ourselves from the bondage of pain and lack of self-worth. The body sometimes knows how much you can handle – and if you're open enough, it'll give you what you need to keep growing.On this episode, Duane talks to Gigi Langer about her award-winning book “50 Ways to Worry Less Now.” She takes us through her own recovery story, how worry and fear were a major part of it, and how she learned to overcome it and create the life that she loves and thrives in. Growing up in a family with an alcoholic in the family, Gigi chose to be the "good girl." At 40, she was completing her Ph.D. at Stanford and was under a lot of stress and pressure. She had a lot of crash and burn relationships and had divorced twice by the time she was in her doctoral program. She discovered marijuana, which somehow softened the blow of all her disappointments from all the tension and failed relationships. She thought her achievements and romance were going to take care of her feelings, but those didn't work obviously.Gigi practically lived a double life, being the good girl as the assistant professor at Stanford, and also living a life of promiscuity and in the early stages of alcoholism. She then proved to herself over the next six months that she could not predict what behavior she would display even if she only had one drink.Eventually, her third husband went to an Al-Anon meeting and Gigi went to AA. She stuck with the program and therapy. She got divorced after a year of all the therapy, this time, in a responsible way. The following year, she met her husband whom she has been married to for over 30 years now – happy and fulfilled.In this episode, you will hear: Gigi’s addiction and recovery journey The healing of the old patterns The whispered lies we tell ourselves Claiming your true self or loving power, bigger than your own fear Her desire to write a book The unconditional positive regard The biggest worry-buster and anxiety-buster technique Connecting with your authentic self Key Quotes:[11:57] - "The true self or loving power... we have to be honest and we have to claim some kind of power bigger than our own fear.”[13:37] - "I was afraid that if I ripped the band-aid off and started getting honest, all the feelings would come out and just completely destroy me. And that was not my experience. It still felt scary when those things came up. But I could handle them."[18:57] - "We think what our minds are producing is real and that our feelings are 100% real… but it is a story that our minds have made up based on our past."[19:33] - “The lies that we tell ourselves have nothing to do with who we are at base.”[25:41] - "Most of the things that are advertised and glorified are things that numb us away from our true selves… if we're numbing our feelings out with any habitual behavior, our chance of becoming happy is almost nil because we won't be able to get honest and own what's going on with us."[28:26] - "Scary things scare us. That's never going to stop. It's what happens once I notice I'm scared... Call someone, reach out for help, pray, meditate, and use some of the tools. Enter the process of working with it."If you really enjoyed this episode, we’ve created a PDF that has all of the key information for you from the episode. Just go to the episode page at www.theaddictedmind.com to download it.Supporting Resources:www.gigilanger.com50 Ways to Worry Less Now by Gigi LangerA Return to Love by Marianne WilliamsonEpisode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're in the worst phase of human history where people are so stressed out, so afraid of judgment, and tentative as it relates to saying anything these days because of this “cancel culture” society. We have lost an enormous amount of substance and the ability to effectively communicate our thoughts and emotions verbally, vocally, and physically because we’re afraid of the ramifications. But if we can just get back to our basics and start talking to each other as humans, we're going to be in a much better situation. On today's episode, Duane speaks with keynote speaker and performance coach Brett Lavender about language communication and being the master of our own mind.  Brett is the Founder and CEO of Persuasive Lion, a speaking, training, and coaching practice based on The Lost Languages program that teaches people valuable techniques of persuasive verbal & non-verbal communication to help people lead better and exceed their personal and professional goals.Brett’s father was killed right after his 6th birthday, and at 19, his mother died of liver cancer. He ended up in a very precarious situation with the couple who took him under their care and wasted all the money his mom had left him. At 21, Brett ended up 100% on his own. Soon after, he started studying humans, and how they would react to his behaviors. Over decades of self-education, Brett trained hundreds of speakers and communicators. And then it dawned on him how he could also use this to train civilians, who are not speakers, performers, or professionals, but just real humans, who need a better grasp on how to communicate with their boss, their employees, their co-workers, or their family. As he went through this process, he became very aware that we, as humans, are lost in terms of communication, thus, the concept of the lost languages. In this episode, you will hear: The difference between persuasion and manipulation How humans are forced to communicate with one another The concept of the lost languages The three quadrants of the human brain The value of speaking from an upturn to a downturn Why nonverbal is more important than verbal Self-talk is the most important of the lost languages How we have lost an enormous amount of substance Key Quotes:[02:01] - “There's a very fine line between persuasion and manipulation. They're very closely related behaviors. However, the intention is different.”[04:55] - “The only interaction that different species of life have in the natural world is to kill or be killed. Yet we're living in a very unnatural melting pot of all different species of human, forced to communicate with one another.”[17:06] - “Somewhere in our evolution, we have consistently lost the ability to communicate effectively interpersonally. It's getting worse and worse and worse and it's a downward spiral.”[27:54] - ​​"Nonverbal is way more important than verbal… Communication is not an easy thing, especially if you're uncomfortable."[31:41] - "How we train ourselves to react to situations is going to effectively create a different reaction from our audience."[33:42] "This is something that people who are struggling with addiction suffer from – not being able to expose themselves and communicate authentically and be real."[37:44] - "It's not about how you feel. It's about how you feel, about how you feel."[49:40] - "The most valuable conversations that we will ever have with anyone in our lives are the conversations that we have with ourselves."Supporting Resources:https://www.thepersuasivelion.com/ Episode CreditsIf you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Emerald City Productions. They helped me grow and produce the podcast you are listening to right now. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com Let them know we sent you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices