Play Therapy Parenting Podcast

This is a continuation of the "Rules of Thumb" series [as taken from Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (Bratton & Landreth, 2019)] "Encourage the effort rather than praise the product". Encouragement is probably the most important tool in your parenting toolbox even though you probably don't use it! In this episode I talk about the difference between praise vs. encouragement, the difference between outcome vs effort, and internal vs. external motivation. Learning to encourage instead of praise is instrumental in raising self-motivated, and self-empowered children that have high self-esteem.     References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.  VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.  Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

You will never know what your child is capable of unless you allow them to try!  I know it's hard to watch your child struggle with something, like opening lids on a jar, or tying their shoes, or trying to pack and lug around their sports bag, but did you know that when you constantly do things for your kids, you might be "programming" them for "learned incompetence" or "learned helplessness".  This is in contrast to your child positively learning that they can do things for themselves, they just need to build their competence and confidence to do so, and you can help them by letting them "struggle" a little bit.  So as long as they are at the age where it's appropriate for them to do that task, such as tying their own shoes at 5, or carrying their own baseball bag at 8, then you help them build their confidence and skills to handle their own problems in the future, instead of being in a state of perpetual helplessness.  In this episode, I unpack all of these points as we dive into the Rule of Thumb from the CPRT training, "Never do for a child that which they can do for themselves". [as taken from Child-Parent Relationship Therapy (Bratton & Landreth, 2019)]   References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.  VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.  Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

We are a month into summer... are your kids driving you nuts? It could be that you need to add some structure back into your kids lives to prevent behavior issues. In this episode, I talk to you about the importance of structure and schedule in kid's lives, I give you a quick tip for the top 3 causes of behavior problems, and finally, why summer scheduling and structure is important for adults also. The path to calm, confident, and in-control parenting starts now!

This is a continuation of the "Rules of Thumb" series from the Child-Parent Relationship Therapy curriculum, which is the core training used in my In-Home Play Therapy program. "You can’t give away what you do not possess." is a reminder that you need to be good to yourself as a parent, in order to grant patience, acceptance, and grace to your kids.   References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.  VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.  Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

Another Memorial Day weekend observation... I couldn't believe how many families were at our hotel (poolside, restaurant, lobby, etc.) all ignoring each other, with their faces glued to their "Digital Pacifiers!" The use by both adults and children was alarming. We need to be aware of how much screen time our children have, and realize how badly it is damaging the relationship we have with our kids. We also need to educate ourselves that psychologists, psychiatrists, and neuro-biologists are hired by these gaming companies, specifically to make devices, games and social media MORE ADDICTIVE. Finally, start being aware that as kids use more devices, diagnoses for anxiety is increasing dramatically. As a result, the prescribing of anxiety medication for kids has increased astronomically. We're also starting to see specialized facilities for "detoxing" off devices springing up nationwide. Device overuse in kids is spiking at an alarming rate, and if we don't start educating ourselves about the dangers, and making changes in our families, we are going to see generations of kids that are anxious, socially isolated, and addicted.

While my family was on a weekend getaway over Memorial Day weekend, I couldn't help but do some people watching while I was sitting by the pool, reading a book. I witnessed a perfect example of why it's futile to reason with a kid (a 4 year old, at that!) In this episode, I explore this concept of kids not having reasoning skills, how trying to reason with them often escalates the situation, and how a different tactic in responding to a child can completely change the outcome of what would normally be a frustrating situation. The path to calm, confident, and in-control parenting starts here!

"We are certain to make mistakes, but we can recover. It is how we handle our mistakes that makes the difference." This is such a great rule-of-thumb from the Child-Parent Relationship Therapy training that is the curriculum in my In-Home Play Therapy program. In this episode I talk about how if your relationship with your kids is broken somehow, that you need to fix it. When you do, you are modeling for your kids how to handle these situations. And finally, this rule of thumb teaches our kids ownership of their behavior. - The path to calm, confident, and in-control parenting start now!     References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.  VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.  Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

This is my 50th episode! I'm so grateful to my podcast listeners. In this episode, I'm looking back on my week's observation of the "Parenting Journey". Parenting is full of ups and downs, but we are all united in a goal of being the best parent we can be. We want happy kids and a happy family, and I'm honored that you spend time with me and that I'm a small part of your parenting journey.

One of the most important things we can do for our kids to cherish the relationship that we have with them. In this episode, I talk about a Rule of Thumb from the Child-Parent Relationship Training, “Focus on the Donut, Not the Hole.” We look at the importance of putting our attention on the good that exists already, spending the time necessary to build the connection, and why the relationship leads to the results that you want.   References: Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.  VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.  Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge. Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group. Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

In this episode of the podcast, I talk about the natural consequence of child behavior. There are three points that I'd like to share with you regarding natural consequences. The first is that children are not rational. Next is that the natural consequence is different than discipline or punishment. Finally, when a child is given the opportunity to deal with the natural consequence of their behavior, they develop self control, self regulation and self responsibility.