Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

My guest this week is autism and neurodiversity support specialist Kristy Forbes of In Tune Pathways. Kristy is the parent of four autistic children, and has an abundance of emotional, practical, and lived experience both working with and raising children who are neurodivergent. She has an extensive background in early childhood education and psychology, and as you’ll hear from our conversation, is passionate about radical acceptance without the need or intention to fix, change or cure, particularly in regard to children.​Kristy was diagnosed as autistic at age thirty-three herself, and has committed herself to working with children and adults on the autism spectrum, with a special interest on people who, like her, have a PDA expression. In this episode, we share a deep conversation about how parents can truly tune in to who their children are and show up for them in a way that reflects true respect for their children’s neurodivergence. We cover a lot of ground, including the PDA profile of autism, how parents can get clear about their intentions when exploring interventions for their children on the spectrum, how to support families through periods of intensity and very difficult behavior, and the trauma that can result when children are perpetually in fight, flight, freeze or fawn mode because they’re being forced to conform to a way of being that isn’t true to who they are. Kristy is a wise and genuine spirit who is doing healing work for so many families… I’m grateful to be able to share this conversation with you.  THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE: What the PDA profile of autism looks like What Kristy sees as the biggest challenges for families raising autistic and neurodiverse children The reason so many neurodivergent families are in crisis The role of intention behind the supports and accommodations parents seek for their children Why Kristy believes it’s critical that parents stay connected with their intuition when making decisions about interventions The ways in which fear can interfere with our making the best decisions for our children Strategies for parents to better tune in with what their child needs The trauma cycle for differently wired kids, and what recovery looks like How Kristy works with parents to help them see and embrace who their children are Kristy’s suggestions for how parents can handle big, aggressive, and violent behavior  RESOURCES MENTIONED: Kristy Forbes’ website InTune Pathways Kristy Forbes on Facebook Kristy Forbes on Instagram Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Educator and school co-founder Zach Morris shares his insights on how we can emotionally support children through difficult periods, including challenges relating to school anxiety and more.Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Marriage and family therapist, licensed psychotherapist, and author Susan Stiffelman talks about her book Parenting Without Power Struggles and shares strategies for staying calm in the midst of conflict with our children.Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Gwen Vogelgang and her 12-year-old son Rylan talk about their new book, "If I Squeeze Your Head I'm Sorry," which allow readers to enter the brain of a child who sees, feels, and understands the world from a refreshingly unique perspective.Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Stacy Hawthorne and Dr. Jessica Potts of The Davidson Institute talk about the unique needs for profoundly gifted children and share insights on how to support their intellectual and social/emotional development.Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Clinical psychologist, life coach, and author Dr. John Duffy talks about his new book, "Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety" and shares insights for how parents raising teens can be the emotional support they need and crave.Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Jill Emanuele, senior director of the Mood Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute, talks about how parents can best support their children who are struggling in the dynamic with their sibling.Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Creativity coach, speaker, and author Kathryn Haydon talks about the benefits of bringing more creativity into our parenting lives raising differently wired kids.Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Academic, teacher, and writer Victoria Biggs shares her experience growing up as an autistic, dyspraxic child and explains how parents can support their similarly wired children.Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is a deep dive into pathological demand avoidance in children (also known as PDA), which is typically defined as a pervasive developmental disorder that falls under the autism spectrum. It’s a label that’s frequently used in the United Kingdom, and it’s often defined as a complicated and misunderstood condition wherein some people have a heightened anxiety response to demands being placed on them. PDA isn’t universally recognized as a diagnosis, and it’s also a label rooted in controversy.To talk with us about all of this is friend of the podcast Dr. Melissa Neff, a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in the assessment of ADHD, depression, anxiety, trauma, nonverbal learning disorder, and autism spectrum disorders, about the diagnostic process.Melissa Neff, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Missoula, MT. She conducts psychological evaluations for children and adults. She specializes in the assessment of giftedness, ADHD, depression, anxiety, trauma, nonverbal learning disorder, and typical and atypical autism spectrum disorders.Things you’ll learn from this episode How pathological demand avoidance (PDA) is defined Whether or not pathological demand avoidance in children is a real thing How PDA is differentiated from ODD What it means that PDA is “within and beyond” ASD What demand avoidance behaviors look like in children and how parents can assess them The connection between school refusal and PDA How to support kids who are struggling with demand avoidant behaviors  Resources mentioned for pathological demand avoidance in children Dr. Melissa Neff Understanding Pathological Demand Avoidance Syndrome in Children: A Guide for Parents, Teachers, and Other Professionalsby Phil Christie, Margaret Duncan, Ruth Fidler, and Zara Healy PDA by PDA’ers: From Anxiety to Avoidance to Masking to Meltdowns Compiled by Sally Cat Pathological Demand Avoidance Syndrome – My Daughter is Not Naughty by Jane Sherwin Can’t Help Won’t: Pathological Demand Avoidance Syndrome (Medium) Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices