Ask Christopher West

🏔️ This episode of ACW is sponsored by Ascension’s Alto! Signup for Ascension’s Alto here with discount code ASK10Questions answered this episode:We're in our early 40s, and TOB has healed our marriage, our wounds and desires. Raised Catholic, rules protected us, but when they became the center, they created shame and fear. What drew us was not "avoid fun and desire," but "let Christ in it." What saddens us is how often Catholics who know TOB still look anxious and controlled. TOB can still sound more like "avoid danger" than "become free." Why does this instinct survive where the theology's rich, but the tone feels over-cautious and rule-centered? We'd like to witness a Christianity in which the closer Christ comes to our bodies, desires, and ordinary lives, the freer and more fully alive we become.My wife and I have been married for 6 months, and were both virgins when we got married. For these past 6 months, she has not experienced a climax during our intimacy. We've tried a few different things including foreplay, different positions, and prolonging my own climax, but nothing seems to be helping. It is hard on her, feeling left out of the marital act, and hard as a man to feel less than adequate to please my wife. Where would you advise a young couple like us to go from here? What are your recommendations for this struggle?I'm a cradle Catholic, happily married, 40-year-old mom of three children. My question feels very embarrassing and uncomfortable, but I don't know where else to go with it. I've recently begun going to Eucharistic adoration and have been growing my prayer life and praying for the Holy Spirit to stay close to me. Twice recently while I have been in adoration and deeply in prayer, I feel myself becoming sexually aroused. Eucharistic adoration has always brought about tears while I'm in prayer, but this feeling of arousal is new and feels shameful. Because of the feelings of shame, I've been going to adoration less often to avoid the feeling. Please help me to understand what I'm experiencing and is this sinful?⁠⁠TOB & the New Evangelization Course Jan 3-8 2027 (https://portal.tobinstitute.org/en/tob-the-new-evangelization-january-2027)Truth & the Lie: What It Means to Be Human In the Age of AI  Love & Responsibility YouTube SeriesLove & Responsibility In-person Course Aug 1-6 2027Love & Responsibility Online Course Learn more about Become: the TOBI CommunityCana FeastJoyful EverafterAsk Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.📸 Animation by Joshua Masterson, the Catholic Cartoonist. Joshua’s Instagram📩 Submit your question to Christopher and Wendy⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the TOB Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join Become: the TOBI Community Theology of the Body Institute Resources:🔥 Begin your TOB journey here⚡️ Find your people & grow together in Become: the TOBI Community📚 Course schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🛍️ Store Christopher West:📸 Instagram🔵 Facebook*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

This episode of ACW is sponsored by Ascension’s Alto!I'm wondering if you have advice on how to handle a situation where kindness is interpreted as romantic interest. I want to treat others with dignity and view them the way God sees them. However, I've been in situations where a male friend will interpret this as romantic interest. Even when I politely decline and express that I only desire to be friends, I wonder if their agreement to remain friends is truly uncomplicated. I get the sense that they may still be hoping I'll change my mind. How can I navigate opposite-sex friendships in a warm and charitable way, while not unintentionally giving someone false hope or causing greater hurt?In the 1860s, there was a dialogue amongst Calvinists that referred to the Holy Spirit as possessing womanly attributes. The thought was, since both man and woman are created in the image of God, and two members of the Trinity are decidedly masculine, there must naturally be a member who bequeathed the feminine nature of woman, leaving the Holy Spirit as the natural conclusion. I sense that this line of thought is deeply flawed, but I would love a definitive counterargument. This is purely for academic purposes and not a question of urgency or crisis of faith.I am a Catholic man in his mid-twenties, and am engaged to be married in the spring. I'm increasingly afraid that I'm blurring the lines between chaste desire and attraction, and lust. Shortly after we got engaged, I had a setback with masturbation, and I'm afraid it's becoming a pattern. I try to be honest with her, and she's so patient and gracious. I feel like my sin recently hasn't been so much a sin of lust, but of impatience. How do I go deeper in my healing now that sexual intimacy is close, and communicate that healing with my fiancée?I am a Catholic man in his mid-twenties, and am engaged to be married in the spring. I'm increasingly afraid that I'm blurring the lines between chaste desire and attraction, and lust. Shortly after we got engaged, I had a setback with masturbation, and I'm afraid it's becoming a pattern. I try to be honest with her, and she's so patient and gracious. I feel like my sin recently hasn't been so much a sin of lust, but of impatience. How do I go deeper in my healing now that sexual intimacy is close, and communicate that healing with my fiancée?🏔️ Signup for Ascension’s Alto here with discount code ASK10: https://ascension-press.linkjolt.io/l/ask-christopher-west-podcastConnected Through Christ MinistryLearn more about Become: the TOBI CommunityClick here to Become a supporter of Become!Course Schedule UTAH Ski Trip with Christopher West April 5-9, 2026---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.Animation by Joshua Masterson, the Catholic Cartoonist. Check him out:Joshua's website: https://www.the-catholic-cartoon.com/📸 Joshua Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_catholic_cartoonist/?hl=en---📩 Submit your question here!⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

This episode of ACW is sponsored by Ascension’s Alto!Questions answered this episode:When I was 11, I was in a horrible car wreck. My mother and two younger brothers were killed, and I was critically injured. I learned to swallow the pain from my trauma for years. Six years ago, after having my first child, I got help and healing began. Becoming Catholic started my spiritual healing. A priest talked about joy in bearing our cross. I did not choose this cross, but I started thinking about inviting Jesus into my trauma. Your podcast opened a place in my soul I had closed off. I want to connect my cross to Jesus. Any tips on how I can enter into that journey?I've been dating my girlfriend for two and a half years and thinking of proposing, but now I'm not so sure. We talked about marriage and agree on waiting a year before having kids. However, when I mentioned practicing natural family planning, she had never heard of it and felt scared and at risk. She doesn't think it's fair for a man to deposit his seed every time and suggested pulling out. Now I'm wondering whether to continue pursuing her. How can I have a better conversation with her, or handle making that difficult call? My heart is aching for an answer.I'm a cradle Catholic, married this summer to a faithful Catholic man, and we are navigating communication challenges. While he focuses on the meaning behind words, I am sensitive to their delivery. I struggle to look past a raised or dismissive tone, partly because I witnessed my father speak harshly to my mother. Harsh words or a raised voice affect me deeply and bring me to tears. Am I being overly sensitive in wanting to be spoken to gently by my spouse? How can I become more emotionally resilient, and how much should tone and manner of communication matter within a marriage?🏔️ 🏔️ Signup for Ascension’s Alto here with discount code ASK10Marian Mystery Course November 2026Learn more about Become: the TOBI CommunityClick here to Become a supporter of Become!NOVO MILLENNIO INEUNTE LinkThe Way: Stations of the Cross for Survivors of AbuseTHEOLOGY OF THE BODY FOR BEGINNERS - UPDATED, REVISED & EXPANDED 2018 (PAPERBACK)Good News About Sex & MarriageLove & Responsibility YouTube SeriesTOB 1 In Person Course Jun 12-18 2026---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.Animation by Joshua Masterson, the Catholic Cartoonist. Check him out:Joshua's website: https://www.the-catholic-cartoon.com/📸 Joshua Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_catholic_cartoonist/?hl=en---📩 Submit your question here!⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:I have four kids, ages 10 and under. We as humans are made body and soul, and our bodies are made to express loving connections to one another. I lean towards gentle parenting—hugging my kids often and holding their hands when they fall asleep. Sometimes I feel guilty because there isn't enough of me to go around. I feel like the older ones should need less physical touch as they grow up, yet they still yearn for it. I don't want to baby my kids, but I don't want to shun them. How can I parent in a way that balances how we are made, body and soul?In the last two years, I've had a deep crisis trying to return to Christ after living in sin. I struggle with same-sex attraction. I believe in Catholic Church teachings and marriage, but I feel stripped away from this beauty. This thorn in my flesh forbids me from waiting for someone God will send. Priests choose celibacy, but my other choice feels like hell. Can you understand my pain? It brings anger toward God and difficulty trusting Him. Hearing about the theology of the body feels like a knife crossing my heart. What answer exists for pain so big and misunderstood as disobedience?I've embraced being single as a gift from God for years. After recent events in my life, I thought I would be called to single life for another few years and was very excited. However, I've just met someone I feel a strong pull to and peace about dating. I love being single and have trouble giving it up. I believe this man is a gift from God, but am I allowed to remain single if I wish? How do you have the courage to say yes to dating for marriage? What are some benefits of marriage?Marian Mystery Course November 2026Course Schedule UTAH Ski Trip with Christopher West April 5-9, 2026[Desert Stream Ministries](https://www.desertstream.org/)---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---📩 Submit your question here!⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:My mom is going to design the glass windows of a church dedicated to the Sacred Heart. Can you explain the theology of the Sacred Heart of Jesus?I'm in my late 20s, married with two young kids, and grew up with 10 siblings. My mom was very worn out, their marriage suffered, and they were not able to be there for me. I've forgiven my parents and appreciate their generosity, but my own births and pregnancies have been hard. Isn't it better for my family and community if I'm thriving as a person and present to others? I would really like one or two more babies, but to see a loose end date for this intense, demanding period of my life. Is that okay, or is it selfish to put my health and well-being over potential children? I am older than my boyfriend, 1.4 years to be exact, and we're taking discernment seriously, having been dating almost two years. My being older has caused tension. My boyfriend's parents did not have a healthy Catholic marriage, and his mother is older than his father; I feel like he's projecting that relationship on ours. Though I am in engineering, my dream is to be a full-time homeschool mom should we get married. A priest recently asked my boyfriend, "How can you expect her to submit to your leadership when she's older than you?" Now that comment is causing my boyfriend reluctance and doubt.Marian Mystery Course November 2026Truth & the Lie October 9 LaunchLearn more about Become: the TOBI CommunityAsk Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---📩 Submit your question here!⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:Learning to see the world through TOB lenses has given me such clarity and rest. My question today is about holiness. Could you explain what holiness actually is? I come from a Protestant background, and growing up, the word holy was reserved for God alone. It seemed using that word to describe other people, like Mary and the saints, in some way was an attempt to put them on the same level as God. Could you help me understand what it means to call someone holy and how that differs from God's holiness?I'm a 35-year-old woman. I'm single and really have no prospects for dating. I have a fear that I'm running out of time to have children. This makes me very sad. Any advice for having trust in the Lord's plan for my life?How does one separate a priest from Christ and from the graces we receive through the priest? When I have received a grace through a priest, I've found something in me grasping. I am happily married and love the priesthood, but on one level, it moves me to a greater love for our Eucharistic Lord, while on the other hand, there's perhaps something disordered in me that clings to the priest. This is further complicated by an experience where I wounded a priest due to lack of discretion. Now, when I have experiences of grace linked to a priest, I spend too much time examining my motivations and fearing self-deception, hoping you might shine some light.Truth & the Lie October 9 LaunchCourse Schedule UTAH Ski Trip with Christopher West April 5-9, 2026Ignite Hope Discerning Marriage Retreat InfoLitanies of the Heart by Dr. Gerry Crete---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---📩 Submit your question here!⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Questions answered this episode:I have a little girl, about 5 months old, and I was visiting a friend with a baby boy the same age. While visiting and playing with our babies, we both at one point pretended to eat our babies' feet, cheeks, and legs, and were talking about how we just wanted to eat them. And we really meant it! Obviously, we don't want to do our babies harm, but there is something in us that just wants to eat them. What is that desire?I'm a devout practicing Catholic, conflicted over contraception in marriage. We have three children already, yet the idea to continue to have more children because church teaching is contraception is not allowed makes me feel like there's a gun to my head. I despise the idea of sinning against God using contraception, yet to continue to have children would leave us in financial ruin and reduce how much time my wife and I can spend with each child. Simple abstinence doesn't make sense to me within marriage, and natural family planning doesn't necessarily work without a regular period. Clearly, most Catholics must be using contraception. I am so conflicted. Please help.How do marital union and climax give us a glimpse of heaven and eternal ecstasy with God? How do single people experience this foretaste of the feast to come? Are we SOL?Truth & the Lie October 9 LaunchCourse Schedule UTAH Ski Trip with Christopher West April 5-9, 2026---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---📩 Submit your question here!⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Can mental health concerns and fear of motherhood affect discernment about marriage and children? A candid discussion explores dating, healing, and trusting grace. The meaning behind the Theology of the Body Institute’s striking logo is unpacked, from Guadalupe imagery to its symbols of longing and union. Also, learn to distinguish loving a fiancée’s beauty from lust while preparing for marriage.

Questions answered this episode:My question is regarding modesty for moms, particularly. Growing up and in dating and marriage, I was always careful to dress modestly. However, now that I'm a mom and breastfeeding especially, I find it a lot easier and more comfortable to wear shirts that are a little bit more low cut. It makes breastfeeding a lot easier. Part of me feels like my stretched out boobs aren't going to tempt anyone. I'm not trying to be self-deprecating—I know my husband finds me beautiful, but I'm not the shape most men find conventionally attractive. If the whole point of modesty is to keep from leading men astray, and my mom body isn't going to be distracting anyone, does it really matter if I dress modestly or not? Especially when it comes to comfort and ease of breastfeeding, is it a big deal if it shows a little bit of cleavage? My aim isn't to lead anyone astray, but I feel like I'm not turning any heads no matter what I wear. What are your thoughts?I was called into the world of healing, and God provided the funds for me to enter massage school. I'm a licensed massage therapist doing specialty bodywork, and I've witnessed incredible healing on my table. Many times, bodywork turns into talk therapy with my female clients, where the Holy Spirit moves me to reveal truths about our bodies and how we are organically connected to our creator. For the last year, I keep sensing I need to study the Theology of the Body. I'm looking into coming to a course in Pennsylvania. What course will be most applicable to my work?Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being a gift. I feel like I'm at the beginning of my journey, but it is difficult because of my past, marked by periods where I lived far from God's love. I carry wounds I've caused to myself and others through sin. I have confessed them, but often hid them from myself without facing the damage left behind. I now understand that not only the acts, but their consequences need God's mercy. I know it's necessary to allow these wounds to heal, but I'm afraid. How can I look at these wounds without fear, without the desire to run away overwhelming me?Truth & the Lie October 9 LaunchCourse ScheduleHope’s GardenSouls & Hearts---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---📩 Submit your question here!⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ Pilgrimages🧠 ⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

Christopher and Wendy explore sexual desire in Jesus and Mary, separating holy eros from lust. They address loving a transgender child amid grief, strained family bonds, and questions about medical care. A bride-to-be also shares her fears about marital intimacy, leading to a conversation on past wounds, forgiveness, communication, and releasing wedding-night perfectionism.