Ask Christopher West

Questions answered this episode:Before my reversion, my husband and I conceived both our children through IVF. Now I feel deep shame, even worrying my sin might harm them eternally. A friend once told me IVF babies don’t have souls, which horrified me. Do I need to tell my children how they were conceived, and if so, how do I do it without passing on my shame? What truth can I hold on to about their dignity and worth as beloved children of God?As a spiritual director, I know a young couple, married two years, who are struggling with sexual intimacy. The wife says this part of their marriage is nearly nonexistent. I fear this could damage their relationship and I’m unsure how to guide them. Do you have any recommendations?I’m an evangelical Christian, and my girlfriend and I hope to marry and have kids. She has type 1 diabetes, which makes pregnancy more complicated and risky. I’m drawn to the Catholic view of openness to life and natural family planning, but she doesn’t have strong theological views about birth control. How can we talk about family planning in a loving way that respects our faith, her medical needs, and the challenges of pregnancy?Resources:TOB1 On DemandOur Bodies Tells God's Story Book---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ PilgrimagesIf you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

Questions answered this episode: I’m struggling to find a spiritual director who can really speak to my heart. The priests I’ve met at the Institute understand integration deeply, but I can’t find anyone like that locally. My current director stays in the intellectual and rational, but I long to share my heart—its joys, sorrows, and complexities. How can I do that if I can’t find a priest who can truly receive it?My girlfriend and I want to get engaged soon. I’ve battled a masturbation addiction for 15 years, and while I’m free from porn, I’m not fully healed. In Next Step we were warned not to expect marriage to fix this. Should I wait until I’m chaste to propose, or move forward in trust? I don’t want sin to hold us back, but I also don’t know if I can fully be a gift.I’m 82, and Jesus revealed himself to me as bridegroom nearly 60 years ago. I thought I was alone in this until your ministry confirmed what I’ve long believed. After two abusive marriages and decades of celibacy, I live in longing for the marriage supper of the Lamb. At times, I’ve ached so deeply for Jesus it felt like being separated from a beloved husband before consummation—sweet but painful. Is this longing normal, or am I treading on ground too sacred?Resources:Søgen SpotifyEvent ScheduleFreedom CoachingEcstasy of Saint TeresaOur Bodies Tells God's Story BookEating the SunriseAsk Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ PilgrimagesIf you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

Questions answered this episode:You said heaven is more real than this world, and Mary already lives there in her redeemed body. In prayer, I sometimes feel Jesus and Mary present, but not like it will be in heaven. How can the mystical dimension be more real than what I see daily? Can you give me concrete ways to live this spiritual reality now, not just in holy moments or in the future?I’ve struggled for years with an eating disorder, along with lust and masturbation. I’m a woman who feels deep shame, self-hatred, and hopelessness. I wonder if these struggles are connected, and I feel like I lack self-control and keep failing God. The more I fall, the more I hate myself and my body. Can God really love me in this?At a party, a woman mentioned being given the book Holy Sex. The group reacted dismissively, joking about hiding it. I felt confused, hurt, and angry, because for me learning the holiness of marital intimacy was liberating. I tried to engage her, but the conversation went nowhere, and I left upset. What do you think was going on with these women?Resources:JPII Legacy Foundation WebsiteTHEOLOGY OF THE BODY FOR BEGINNERS - UPDATED, REVISED & EXPANDED 2018 (PAPERBACK)Holy Sex!: A Catholic Guide to Toe-Curling, Mind-Blowing, Infallible LovingAsk Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ PilgrimagesIf you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

Questions answered this episode:1. I was addicted to pornography until my mid-twenties but have lived chastely for 12 years. Still, I struggle with scars: working as a physician, I get tempted by seeing women’s bodies. I pray in those moments, but I still desire to look, searching for a “moral excuse.” I’ve been dating someone who knows in general, but I can’t tell her every time. Why hasn’t this stopped, even though she fills my heart? Is this from pornography, or something deeper?2. I’m dating a man who loves TOB, and we’ve built a childlike friendship where we can be ourselves. We both think God may be calling us to marriage, but how do I know for sure? My past dating has often ended in disappointment, but this relationship feels different—we strive for virtue together. I want to balance my desire to be a gift in marriage with God’s plan, but I’m afraid of the future and struggle to surrender completely.3. I understand Mariology is deeply tied to TOB, but what about Saint Joseph? I rarely see his role explained. How is his mission interwoven with TOB?Resources:Are you ready for marriage? Check out Next Step: A Course for Discerning MarriageCONSECRATION TO JESUS THROUGH ST. JOSEPH: AN INTEGRATED LOOK AT THE HOLY FAMILYREDEMPTORIS CUSTOS by JPIIPATRIS CORDE by Pope FrancisSymposium | The Josephology SocietyAsk Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to have a better chance of us answering your question and support the Theology of the Body Institute? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ PilgrimagesIf you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

Questions answered this episode:For most of my young adulthood, I pictured myself married, but recently I’ve felt a pull toward religious life. It’s brought many tears, and I struggle with the thought of giving up the intimacy of marriage. Can you explain how Theology of the Body applies to religious sisters and how God fulfills our longing for intimacy in religious life?I dated a girl for almost a year, saved a ring, and thought she was the one. Then suddenly she ended it, and the pain feels unbearable. I wonder if I’ll ever be chosen by a woman, even while hoping she might return. Please, any prayers or wisdom are welcome.How can we raise children with Theology of the Body in mind? Specifically, when he touches his genitals during diaper changes or baths, how should we handle it without repressing him or shaming his body?Resources:Fresh Start: A Dating & Discerning Marriage Conference---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ PilgrimagesIf you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

Questions answered this episode:Five years ago I discovered Theology of the Body, and it transformed me. Since then, I’ve wrestled with balancing modesty and femininity. I’ve stopped self-tanning and wearing heavy makeup because they felt like a mask. As a single woman desiring marriage, I want to look my best but not rely on things that hide my true self. My mom says I should wear more makeup, especially on dates, which makes me feel like I’m not good enough naturally. How do I present myself beautifully and confidently without overusing makeup, and what’s the morality of cosmetics, hair dye, and tanning?I’ve been discerning marriage, but I don’t feel mentally healthy enough to raise children. Even if I overcome anxiety, knowing how quickly mental health can collapse makes me fear the responsibility of another life. Because of this, I’ve considered a Josephite marriage. But a sexless marriage fills me with sadness, partly because it reminds me of my illness. Do you have any guidance for me?For years I failed as a husband, hurting my wife verbally and emotionally. By God’s grace, I’ve turned around, and she’s still here, but she does little to actively seek healing for our marriage. I know the damage is my fault, yet I still feel frustrated that she isn’t more proactive—and then I beat myself up for even being frustrated. What advice do you have for a husband who caused the wounds but struggles when the one hurt won’t do more?Resources:⁠⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠⁠Instagram Video LinkColbie Caillat - TryList of Counselors & Psychologists⁠---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎟️ Event Schedule📚 ⁠⁠Course Schedule🏔️ PilgrimagesIf you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

Questions answered this episode:You often say to bring desires to Jesus or Mary, but when I do, nothing happens. Prayer, stillness, and adoration haven’t helped. Years of silence have made me see Jesus less as a loving bridegroom and more as someone withholding, disappearing at my slightest mistake. I know that’s not who He is, but I can’t shake the image. I want to love God for Himself, not His gifts, but sometimes I want to harden my heart to avoid feeling. Pornography has touched my deep desires in ways God hasn’t. Even when sober, He feels distant, and I can’t find a holy substitute.As a Catholic trying to live purity and modesty, is extended private nudity unadvisable? I know it’s likely not sinful in itself, but it could be a near occasion of sin, especially for unmarried people. As a college-aged man, I’ve struggled with pornography and masturbation, which has led me to feel a certain disdain for my genitals. I wonder if spending more time unclothed in private could help me appreciate my body as God created it, or if it would invite temptation given my past. What about sleeping in the nude—would that be harmless or spiritually risky for me?I believe arousal is a beautiful, God-given reaction when kept pure. But I’ve accidentally reached sexual climax with my boyfriend, and I struggle to know when my body is close. For example, after a gentle goodbye kiss and embrace, I walked away and unexpectedly experienced an orgasm. I knew I was aroused, but didn’t realize it was that strong. I’m deeply in love and attracted to him, but I didn’t know I was that aroused. Is this irresponsibility, or a lack of knowledge of my own body and heart? How should I understand and handle these moments?Resources:https://nationalcatholicsingles.com/Grand Canyon by Jay & Jo---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎥 Check out our ⁠⁠⁠YouTube Channel⁠⁠⁠📚 View our ⁠⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠⁠ to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON!📘 ⁠⁠GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE⁠⁠ by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies.🏔️ ⁠⁠Join us on one of our pilgrimages!⁠⁠If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

Questions answered this episode:After divorcing my husband over his unhealed pornography addiction, my sons now stay with him and his civil wife. I’m seeking guidance on how to protect and mentor them spiritually amid confusing messages from their father.If God made us sexual and romantic in His image, and intimacy reflects the Trinity, why do you say God is not sexual?I struggle to be aroused with my wife without degrading fantasies. I know they’re sinful—how can I overcome them?Resources:JPII Legacy Foundation WebsiteCCC 370CCC 42CCC 239Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎥 Check out our ⁠⁠⁠YouTube Channel⁠⁠⁠📚 View our ⁠⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠⁠ to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON!📘 ⁠⁠GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE⁠⁠ by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies.🏔️ ⁠⁠Join us on one of our pilgrimages!⁠⁠If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠

Questions answered this episode:How does Theology of the Body relate to the apophatic tradition of imageless, silent prayer? If we're meant to go beyond concepts and detach even from meditation, how can a theology so rooted in the body inform contemplative prayer?Though I'm happily married, I still feel haunted by a deep emotional bond with a female friend from my past. Why does this longing persist, and how can I find freedom from it?My husband has been sober from porn for 8 years, but his heart remains closed off. After nearly 39 years of marriage, where can we find the outside help and healing we still need?Resources:JPII Legacy Foundation WebsiteFreedom CoachingHope’s GardenMarriage MissionariesThe Alexander House

Questions answered this episode:I’ve broken free from porn and masturbation since returning to the Church, but now I experience arousal during deep prayer. It distracts and disturbs me—how can I pray through it without shame or confusion?My kids ask: If Mary conceived by the Holy Spirit, did the Spirit become physical—like a sperm? How do I explain this?As a virgin in an art class drawing nude figures, I feel shame, fear, and temptation. How can I see the body with purity and maturity without falling into lust or fantasy?Resources:⁠⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠⁠JPII Legacy Foundation WebsiteWhat to Do With Your Sexual Needs YouTube VideoSexual Needs Into Prayer YouTube Video---Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.---🔥 ⁠⁠⁠Get 3 FREE sessions of our flagship course on Theology of the Body⁠⁠⁠📕 ⁠⁠⁠Get a copy of Christopher's Eating the Sunrise: Meditations on the Liturgy & Our Hunger for Beauty⁠⁠⁠⚡️ Want to support the Theology of the Body Institute and have a better chance of us answering your question? ⁠⁠⁠Join our Patron Community!⁠⁠⁠---Submit you question here!---🎥 Check out our ⁠⁠⁠YouTube Channel⁠⁠⁠📚 View our ⁠⁠COURSE SCHEDULE⁠⁠ to register for a course, ONLINE or IN-PERSON!📘 ⁠⁠GOOD NEWS ABOUT SEX & MARRIAGE⁠⁠ by Christopher West. Use discount code MARRIAGE during checkout for 20% off one or multiple copies.🏔️ ⁠⁠Join us on one of our pilgrimages!⁠⁠If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ⁠⁠michele@tobinstitute.org⁠⁠⁠List of trusted counselors & psychologists⁠