

Good Children
Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella & Studio71 & Confetti Cannon
Childhood best friends Joe Hegyes and Andrew Muscarella spent their youth chasing gold stars—now they’re just trying to stop sucking in their stomachs. Each week, they unpack a shared history of anxiety, performance, and the side effects of being a little too well-behaved.For advertising opportunities please email PodcastPartnerships@Studio71us.com We want to make the podcast even better, help us learn how we can: https://bit.ly/2EcYbu4 Privacy Policy: https://www.studio71.com/terms-and-conditions-use/#Privacy%20Policy
Episodes
Mentioned books

Aug 6, 2025 • 1h 11min
How It Feels to Fall for a Boy for the First Time
Did someone order an episode of Love, Victor? This week, we’re talking our first gay romances. Joe met a boy at the Met and spent the summer in museum corners, on crowded trains, on dates that felt like a movie. Andrew kissed someone under fireworks and fell into weeks of new friends, nights at Stonewall, rose petals, the works. It was tender. It was formative. It was a little embarrassing in retrospect.
New episodes drop Thursdays at 8PM EST on Patreon. No filter. No notes. No pants (optional): https://www.patreon.com/goodchildrenpod
Joe’s Chase Sapphire referral link: https://www.referyourchasecard.com/19t/Z5YLLGK01K
Click it and earn points. He’s serious. This is not an ad.
HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella
EDITOR: Kenzie Edmonson
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/goodchildrenpod
https://www.instagram.com/joehegyes/
https://www.instagram.com/andrewmuscarella Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jul 30, 2025 • 1h 12min
Going to Poundtown at the Beach
Good Children: The Podcast is known for its fearless, unflinching commitment to investigative journalism. This week, we take on the most urgent question of our time: why does summer in New York City make us so h*rny, sweaty, and lowkey depressed? From cruising at the beach to falling in love on the L train, we examine the intersection of heat, humidity, and boob sweat.
Guys I’m so serious, use my Chase Sapphire referral link so we all win. Earn 100,000 points with Sapphire Reserve® or 75,000 bonus points with Sapphire Preferred®: https://www.referyourchasecard.com/19t/Z5YLLGK01K THIS IS NOT AN AD!
Find us on Patreon: no filter, no notes, and no pants (optional). New episodes drop every Thursday at 8PM EST. Only here: https://www.patreon.com/c/goodchildrenpod
HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella
EDITOR: Kenzie EdmonsonLISTEN: https://linktr.ee/goodchildrenFOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:https://www.instagram.com/goodchildrenpodhttps://www.instagram.com/joehegyes/https://www.instagram.com/andrewmuscarella Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jul 23, 2025 • 1h 5min
Sitting, Scooping, and Sucking: Bathroom Politics
Good Children: The Podcast continues its brave, Pulitzer-adjacent coverage of the issues that matter. This week, we investigate the modern bathroom: a space for releasing, for sucking, for crying, and wondering when you'll buy toilet paper again. From the architectural injustice of door-to-floor stalls to the unspoken rules of public restroom etiquette, we’re naming names, pointing fingers, and asking the question no one else will: do you sit and scoop?
Find us on Patreon: no filter, no notes, and no pants (optional). New episodes drop every Thursday at 8PM EST. Only here: https://www.patreon.com/c/goodchildrenpod
HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella
EDITOR: Kenzie Edmonson
LISTEN: https://linktr.ee/goodchildren
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:https://www.instagram.com/goodchildrenpodhttps://www.instagram.com/joehegyes/https://www.instagram.com/andrewmuscarella Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jul 16, 2025 • 1h 11min
Bagels: A Definitive Ranking
Good Children: The Podcast prides itself on award-winning journalism that isn't afraid to ask the hard-hitting questions that might make other comedian podcast duos uncomfortable. This week, we're tackling our toughest subject yet: would you f*ck that bagel?
Find us on Patreon: no filter, no notes, and no pants (optional). New episodes drop every Thursday at 8PM EST. Only here: https://www.patreon.com/c/goodchildrenpod
HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella
EDITOR: Kenzie EdmonsonLISTEN: https://linktr.ee/goodchildrenFOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:https://www.instagram.com/goodchildrenpodhttps://www.instagram.com/joehegyes/https://www.instagram.com/andrewmuscarella Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jul 9, 2025 • 1h 4min
Early Signs of Daddy Puberty
This week, we’re talking Daddy Puberty: the slow, confusing transformation from boy to twink to… Daddy. Is it a mindset? A muscle mass threshold? A beard-to-hair ratio? We break down the biology, the psychology, and the pop culture mythology of what it really means to enter your Daddy Era. Plus: pop culture daddies from childhood and a debate over whether being called “Daddy” is a compliment or a cry for help.
Find us on Patreon: no filter, no notes, and no pants (optional). New episodes drop every Thursday at 8PM EST. Only here: https://www.patreon.com/c/goodchildrenpod
HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella
EDITOR: Kenzie EdmonsonLISTEN: https://linktr.ee/goodchildrenFOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:https://www.instagram.com/goodchildrenpodhttps://www.instagram.com/joehegyes/https://www.instagram.com/andrewmuscarella
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jul 2, 2025 • 1h 17min
Escaping The Fire Island Hookup Forest
This week, we embed ourselves deep inside the myth, the legend, the cautionary tale that is Fire Island. Our mission? To uncover the truth behind the infamous Belvedere Hotel, an all-nude, men-only boarding house perched just beyond the bounds of good judgment. What begins as an overnight getaway quickly spirals into blackouts at drag brunch, fighting for our lives in the Meat Rack, and late-night cruising that felt more like The Blair Witch Project than a vacation. Join us as we investigate the intersection of queerness, liberation, and public sex, one towel at a time. Find us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/goodchildrenpod
HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella
EDITOR: Kenzie EdmonsonLISTEN: https://linktr.ee/goodchildrenFOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/goodchildrenpod https://www.instagram.com/joehegyes/ https://www.instagram.com/andrewmuscarella
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jun 25, 2025 • 47min
From The Archive: Who Drank At My 17th Birthday Party?
ONE WEEK UNTIL WE'RE BACK WITH NEW EPISODES! Thanks for your patience <3 In the meantime, find us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/goodchildrenpod
This week, travel back to a cold case from 2013 in which 12 beer cans were discovered at Joe's 17th birthday party.
HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew MuscarellaLISTEN: https://linktr.ee/goodchildrenFOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/goodchildrenpod https://www.instagram.com/joehegyes/ https://www.instagram.com/andrewmuscarella
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jun 19, 2025 • 1h 30min
From The Archive: Bear in the Woods (S4E7)
Thank you for your patience as we plan our next season, we'll be back shortly with brand new episodes starting in July! (Happy Pride Month, am I right?)
Until then, join us for a weekend in nature that changed our lives forever.*
*a few weeks.
Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com
HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
@goodchildrenpod
@joehegyes
@andrewmuscarella
FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK:
@goodchildrenpod
@bequietjoe
@andrew_musky Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jun 11, 2025 • 1h 18min
From The Archive: Chimes and Punishment (S4E10)
Did you know acapella groups participate in violent hazing rituals? This week we're taking it back to last summer, when Andrew revealed the traumatic story behind his barefooted days as a Loyola Chime. P.S.: We're taking a short break! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jun 4, 2025 • 1h 25min
From The Archive: HOW TO PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE (S2E1)
Throwing it back to when we tried to be an educational podcast: "Let's learn to put ourselves out there together: from using the internet to gain notoriety as a middle schooler, to dealing with bullying and humiliation in high school, this episode gets traumatic. The boys talk about body image, their first gay dates, their most embarrassing moments, childhood crushes (Sharkboy), fear of rejection/failure lol, and the full-body experience of an elementary school assembly. P.S.: We're taking a short break! Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: @goodchildrenpod @joehegyes @andrewmuscarella FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK: @goodchildrenpod @bequietjoe @andrew_musky Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices


